Seekers' Lounge
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Harley-Davidson Dealership

Originally aired: March 4, 2021

A customer talks to a few employees at a Harley-Davidson dealership.

0:00:53 Unknown Speaker #1

Web stirs defines America as the United States. Well, Mirium and Web pardon me for being old fashioned, but I define America as the smell of an apple pie. The crack of a baseball bat. And the roar of 1 of these hogs between the lovely thighs of a leather bound mustachioed man or woman. An American hog bought at 1 of these dealerships.

0:01:24 Unknown Speaker #2

So it's got 2 wheels in the front. I've just I'm I'm I'm used to typical motorcycles. So I just don't know this new this new thing with 2 wheels in the front. You kinda You say, and I cruise, like, near the beach.

0:01:44 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. Oh, sorry. Why don't you take this? Oh, yeah. Oh.

0:01:48 Unknown Speaker #2

No. I wanted both of you. Because you both have different expertise, so I I just wanna get the right

0:01:54 Unknown Speaker #1

hog. And what we should get? We should obviously We know what you're thinking when you look at us. Yes, we are the sons of the fat twins on the Harley's. We are not twins, we are cousins, but we look alike.

0:02:11 Unknown Speaker #4

Right.

0:02:12 Unknown Speaker #2

So do the sons of matching sons? Suns of twins are cousins. Yes.

0:02:18 Unknown Speaker #1

The 2 twins from Guinness had sons.

0:02:21 Unknown Speaker #5

That was actually our idea, the 2 wheels in the front.

0:02:24 Unknown Speaker #4

And that's

0:02:25 Unknown Speaker #2

why you're wearing their picture, their famous picture on your shirt, which it doesn't feel like it's Harley Davidson dealership certified this shirt. It feels like a slight bit of an add on.

0:02:36 Unknown Speaker #1

We work here. Yeah. That's what comes into we work here.

0:02:40 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah.

0:02:41 Unknown Speaker #6

So this is

0:02:41 Unknown Speaker #2

the 2 upfront, 1 out back. I kinda just want a typical hog. But, I mean, if you think I need this, Well,

0:02:48 Unknown Speaker #1

let me ask you this. Is this your first hog?

0:02:52 Unknown Speaker #2

No. No. No. No. I've come from a long line of hogs.

0:02:56 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay, good to know and follow-up to that. Do you find yourself tipping on the hog a little too much? You tip left or you tip right away trying to stay

0:03:06 Unknown Speaker #2

there. I mean, a lot of times when I take a hard left, I go right. I I slide it. I lay it down on its right. You

0:03:12 Unknown Speaker #1

lay it down. I can tell by your legs that you lay those hogs down too much.

0:03:16 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These are pretty beat up. So

0:03:19 Unknown Speaker #1

and this is where I tag this is where I tag my cousin in. Okay.

0:03:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Real quick before

0:03:23 Unknown Speaker #2

you tag him in, I do have a huge inner ear problem, but go ahead.

0:03:28 Unknown Speaker #5

Thank you, Clarence. Thank you, Clarence. Now, what do you really want in a hog? Is it space? Is it freedom? Is it the ability to park it at a small

0:03:39 Unknown Speaker #2

spot? In can I ask you, is there a hog that doesn't have much space in terms of headroom or or moving around room? Is there a hog that has Okay.

0:03:49 Unknown Speaker #3

We actually

0:03:49 Unknown Speaker #5

have a new line of piglets, new line of piglets that come out that are small bikes for small ladies. Now, we can get you in 1 of these bikes if you want. They have a top on them, and they're kind of restrictive.

0:04:02 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. Almost So they kind of have cart. 2 wheeled golf cart. Little okay. A little bimini top that kinda confines you down particularly. It's

0:04:10 Unknown Speaker #5

hard. You ever seen You ever seen like a security truck, but it's not an actual car.

0:04:16 Unknown Speaker #2

It's more like an electric golf car, but it's not a golf cart either. Yes. They're they're at condominiums. They're they're they're technically street legal, but it's like, don't get that thing on an you're gonna be in trouble. It

0:04:28 Unknown Speaker #5

looks like the bubble of a small helicopter, but it's

0:04:31 Unknown Speaker #2

on wheels. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. What about them? So those are piglets.

0:04:38 Unknown Speaker #5

We got half piglets for Well, they've been marketed for little ladies so far. But technically, they are for anybody, but the marketing is little ladies.

0:04:47 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. I have seen some of those being heavily marketed during the Ellen Show. And I just I just find it -- Well, forget the game's

0:04:57 Unknown Speaker #5

presumptuous. You know, you're already looking at the the the 3 wheelers, and I wasn't sure if you were looking for something on

0:05:03 Unknown Speaker #2

yeah. I mean, like like I said, I mean, you can see my ears. They're leaking. I've fallen down twice while talking to you. Let me help you up there. Let me help you

0:05:11 Unknown Speaker #3

up. That. Thank you. Yeah. No problem. Hey, hope you That's hey.

0:05:16 Unknown Speaker #5

We will still sell you a motorcycle. Let

0:05:18 Unknown Speaker #4

me see that right now. Thank

0:05:20 Unknown Speaker #2

you. We will absolutely still A lot of people are kicking me out the door because you know you know that thing when you when a man runs and his body gets ahead of his legs, and he falls down hard, and he ends up on funniest home videos. Let's just say I do that 345 times 678, 09:10 times a day,

0:05:38 Unknown Speaker #5

12 hours a day. A career is a career. We all gotta work. You know what I'm

0:05:43 Unknown Speaker #2

saying? That is my career. That is rightfully falling down. You're hilarious. I think I

0:05:49 Unknown Speaker #5

remember you. I think I remember you. Were you the guy that fell down the hill into the playground?

0:05:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. I am. And the guy who fell up the hill out of the playground. I won both weeks. I

0:06:00 Unknown Speaker #3

won both weeks. Classic.

0:06:01 Unknown Speaker #2

That viewer was a celebrity. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate

0:06:06 Unknown Speaker #3

it. Eat that out. No. Hey. Hey. Hey. Gotcha. It's such a Oh,

0:06:09 Unknown Speaker #5

here comes Clarence back with little popcorn. Okay.

0:06:13 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh. Claring. All right. And

0:06:15 Unknown Speaker #1

i'm a You

0:06:16 Unknown Speaker #2

took a you took a And

0:06:17 Unknown Speaker #3

i'm gonna tag myself out.

0:06:18 Unknown Speaker #5

You're in Claring.

0:06:18 Unknown Speaker #6

Boom.

0:06:19 Unknown Speaker #1

And Claren's back in the house. Alright here. Now how do you like your popcorn?

0:06:28 Unknown Speaker #2

Popped. I see that yours isn't.

0:06:31 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Well, that's my mistake on this 1. I read you as a unpopped pop coordinator.

0:06:38 Unknown Speaker #2

So you thought I wanted to eat just colonels. The

0:06:41 Unknown Speaker #1

thing is typically the worst thing in a movie. It's the part I'm racing towards. It's how I found my my partner is we went to the movies and she liked the pop stuff and I like the unpopped and I said, well, that's it perfect even split there. You take the pop, I'll take the unpopped, you know.

0:07:01 Unknown Speaker #2

So she gets the whole bag and you get 1 or 2 kernels?

0:07:04 Unknown Speaker #1

At the very end, then that's how I found my partner.

0:07:07 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, God. I slipped. 000, dale. What

0:07:11 Unknown Speaker #4

are you doing mopping the showroom right now? What other times when other times do I have? Look how busy the look

0:07:20 Unknown Speaker #5

how busy the showroom is. You can't be mopping right in the middle. Will

0:07:23 Unknown Speaker #4

they give me 10 minutes another time when I can do it other times? I ain't got no time to mop around here. You guys keep a open 24 hours a day, making me cook your cook your popcorn. Bad for me. Very bad for me.

0:07:38 Unknown Speaker #3

Who took? What?

0:07:40 Unknown Speaker #4

I gotcha. I gotcha. I gotcha. Or

0:07:42 Unknown Speaker #1

were you trying to make were you trying to make an honest living there and I ruined if I catch you. I apologize. Honestly,

0:07:48 Unknown Speaker #2

i am not gonna make my rent if you catch me 1 more goddamn time.

0:07:52 Unknown Speaker #1

That's my mistake. I do want you to have enough money to buy yourself. Now let's see. By reading you was you look like a guy who likes unpopped popcorn and needs a little girl's motorcycle. How close am I on that? Hey,

0:08:07 Unknown Speaker #2

listen. You guys keep pushing this little helicopter cap.

0:08:11 Unknown Speaker #4

I mean,

0:08:13 Unknown Speaker #2

that I don't necessarily know if I want. Does it have 2 wheels or 4? I need something with at least 3.

0:08:20 Unknown Speaker #3

Hey. It's actually not 4 wheels. What

0:08:23 Unknown Speaker #1

alright. I'll let you go.

0:08:23 Unknown Speaker #4

do I

0:08:25 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, don't please stop catching me. And Dale, are the security cameras on?

0:08:32 Unknown Speaker #3

What? Of course not. I didn't secure your hand.

0:08:37 Unknown Speaker #6

We

0:08:37 Unknown Speaker #4

haven't had tapes in there for 14 years. You think I got time to go to the store where they sell the security camera tapes and replace the ones that are in there? No. They're full. 90 minutes on both sides. That's all we could afford. We've got we've only got a hundred and 80 minutes of

0:08:55 Unknown Speaker #3

dirty footage. Damn. Damn.

0:08:57 Unknown Speaker #5

business in the showroom.

0:08:57 Unknown Speaker #4

You're putting

0:08:59 Unknown Speaker #2

What do you say

0:09:00 Unknown Speaker #5

about putting the business in the showroom?

0:09:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Sheeping out of it.

0:09:05 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes. Yes. Dale.

0:09:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Can y'all please move just can you move 10 feet to 1 side or the other? I just I need to finish

0:09:16 Unknown Speaker #2

-- customer. Dale, I love your energy, man. I love your energy.

0:09:22 Unknown Speaker #3

But why can't you

0:09:23 Unknown Speaker #2

mop from 5 to 05:30 after the showroom closes.

0:09:29 Unknown Speaker #6

this?

0:09:29 Unknown Speaker #4

How about

0:09:32 Unknown Speaker #2

Wait a minute. I've come back here. My head hit your foot causing me not to crack my skull open, causing me not to be able to buy my daughter. Formula this month. Hey,

0:09:43 Unknown Speaker #4

mister Dale. If formula

0:09:46 Unknown Speaker #1

is a proposition of It's like you're on the fence about whether you can even get formula. I hate to do this but I can't sell you a Harley then. I think your focus should be on just being free of enough money for this.

0:10:00 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. We've had to we've had to take a stand against guys using their money wrong.

0:10:04 Unknown Speaker #1

right. We

0:10:04 Unknown Speaker #6

That's

0:10:05 Unknown Speaker #2

got it. There's a lot of guys who

0:10:06 Unknown Speaker #5

come in here, obviously, using their money wrong, not taking care of their family and buying a bike instead.

0:10:11 Unknown Speaker #1

have to put go to the surprise to you, but a lot of guys who are getting Harley's should

0:10:11 Unknown Speaker #4

You do

0:10:17 Unknown Speaker #2

spend their money. Other areas I see. Wait. You're right.

0:10:22 Unknown Speaker #4

I'm not between 5 and 05:30.

0:10:25 Unknown Speaker #3

You That's why. Hale. Why? Hale. Why? We're still in the showroom now. Come on, man. I don't care. I

0:10:36 Unknown Speaker #4

don't care where you are.

0:10:37 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, Dale, you should care because it's your whole job. Alright. You're employed. Oh, you're employed here.

0:10:42 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, am I? You call this employed?

0:10:45 Unknown Speaker #1

Dale?

0:10:46 Unknown Speaker #4

There's

0:10:46 Unknown Speaker #3

a reason. They'll

0:10:47 Unknown Speaker #2

pull your pants up. Do not do it again. Jesus speaking of hogs.

0:10:55 Unknown Speaker #4

Dale.

0:10:56 Unknown Speaker #1

I'll do

0:10:57 Unknown Speaker #4

it. Yeah.

0:10:58 Unknown Speaker #1

We're getting a full John Ham outline through your boxers there now. I'll do

0:11:02 Unknown Speaker #2

it. We got he's got that ham outline.

0:11:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Dale. Here we see in ham outline here. You

0:11:07 Unknown Speaker #4

guys. I'm gonna put my balls in the gas tank of this Harley. Not again, Dale. We've already gone through this. It only hurts you.

0:11:16 Unknown Speaker #1

It only hurts you, Dale. It's

0:11:19 Unknown Speaker #5

not Dale anything to us.

0:11:20 Unknown Speaker #1

Dale's dipped all the tanks in here. Yeah. Well, Dale has dipped all the tanks. He's the guy that's beating you out. 3 out of the past 5 weeks on AFV.

0:11:31 Unknown Speaker #2

Damn. Dale dipped the tanks? How did you say that was you? Dad. It's just a close-up of saf

0:11:36 Unknown Speaker #4

-- Mhmm. -- speaking of I put camera inside of

0:11:40 Unknown Speaker #2

it. Speaking of AFV, AFV NSFW is Kim, it's ridiculous.

0:11:47 Unknown Speaker #5

That's the real stuff after dark. Have you seen AF NSFW after dark? Hey.

0:11:53 Unknown Speaker #1

I thought AF and I thought AF and I thought AF and SFW was freaky enough. And then this that wasn't even the after dark version. It

0:12:00 Unknown Speaker #2

got freighter. So you guys see Really close ups, but it's also sex scene. It's all sex scenes mishaps close-up.

0:12:08 Unknown Speaker #4

Man, you like that. You should all watch AFP NSFW after dark BTS. It's all back Stay you Stop. That's me. I got 8 pay me to do all the backstage stuff. Wait. How is that you. Wait.

0:12:26 Unknown Speaker #5

You got a second job? And you're telling me you can't mop at certain hours and stuff. And what? How much time are you spending in this BTM? So

0:12:33 Unknown Speaker #1

that explains the naps.

0:12:35 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, 8 here, 8 there, 4 hours to commute.

0:12:41 Unknown Speaker #2

1 way or both?

0:12:44 Unknown Speaker #4

I

0:12:44 Unknown Speaker #2

guess that's it. Both 1 way. So you can get your way out of town.

0:12:48 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. I go

0:12:49 Unknown Speaker #1

no. We've accounted for 20 hours of your day.

0:12:51 Unknown Speaker #4

No. It's 4 hours both ways. So it's 1 way there for 1 way back.

0:12:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Hold on. Did you open the AFV NSFW after dark BTS CVS?

0:13:08 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. They put me in charge.

0:13:13 Unknown Speaker #1

Alright. Hang on now. Dale, I am not letting your life get in the way of another big time sale here.

0:13:20 Unknown Speaker #2

Alright, guys. Put the clothes on me. Give me this little helicopter and get me out the door. Well, what would you say to me putting you in a bright pink piglet 26 for 17 99 out the door. 1799 dollars for a little tiny pink helicopter with 4 wheels --

0:13:20 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right.

0:13:45 Unknown Speaker #4

that's exactly right. -- that

0:13:46 Unknown Speaker #2

i crammed myself into. And then I use that and then I use that to somehow make money to buy my daughter's formula?

0:13:55 Unknown Speaker #5

I'm not sure about the last step. But, yeah, you

0:13:57 Unknown Speaker #2

could you could surely do some funny crashes in this thing. Alright. Well, you got a deal. Let me give you the biggest handshake I've ever given anyone in my

0:14:04 Unknown Speaker #6

life.

0:14:05 Unknown Speaker #1

And it's a deal. Or

0:14:08 Unknown Speaker #4

just that? Up to the ceiling down to the floor. We're tall men, so we can hit them both. Hi, Alfonso. It's me, Dale. Backstage. I'm here at backstage at the Harley Davidson job. Showing you a little bit of what goes on behind the winners the the in the winter's life, like me, Dale. Hi. Hey. Have pizza. Dale. Hey, Alfonso. Did Alfonso give you

0:14:36 Unknown Speaker #2

alfonso take the flip cam to do BTS footage, like, around town? Yeah. He

0:14:43 Unknown Speaker #4

gave it to me for free. I didn't even have to pay for this 1. Yeah.

0:14:48 Unknown Speaker #5

It's a quaker from 2012.

0:14:51 Unknown Speaker #6

Hey.

0:14:54 Unknown Speaker #1

You fell on my and you ripped my shirt off and my pants off.

0:14:58 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, I'm sure it came up We're having sex. Because, of course, they're connected. We're we're having sex. It's close-up.

0:15:05 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, yeah. Get it down. I'm in here. Film. Look at these guys. This is a customer in 2 movies, accidental

0:15:14 Unknown Speaker #2

oh, yeah.

0:15:15 Unknown Speaker #6

Oh,

0:15:15 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. Harley Davidson accent. Yeah. Orangie.

0:15:22 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoo. Yeah. Oh, okay. Can I get a towel?

0:15:31 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, god. Yeah. 2 tower move.

0:15:33 Unknown Speaker #4

Me? I'm not getting you guys yay.

0:15:37 Unknown Speaker #6

I

0:15:37 Unknown Speaker #4

gotta make this month to bill Let

0:15:39 Unknown Speaker #1

me get a baseball bat in here so we can do a little bit of AFVNSFW after dark MLB here now.

0:15:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. Okay. And he's out of there. He's trucked out. What?

0:15:54 Unknown Speaker #1

Some of the way outside. That was way outside. What are you talking about? He's trying. That was outside.

0:16:04 Unknown Speaker #4

Alfonso, as you can see, this man was just struck out, so I'm gonna give him the AFV NSFW after dark BTS, MLB, MVP award. Here, good picture. It's to the picture, not to It's to the picture.

0:16:21 Unknown Speaker #3

I thought it was to me. This is huge.

0:16:26 Unknown Speaker #4

had kids from

0:16:26 Unknown Speaker #6

He's

0:16:28 Unknown Speaker #2

coast to coast. Oh, yeah, he did. RBI is the most. Alfonso. Yay. He did. It's the red, white, and blue. Yeah, baby. And a Holly Davidson to America America. This is you.