The Oscars, who gives a shit. The Emmys. Fuck off. Tony's Crap. Craig's choice awards. Hacks. Kids's choice awards. For losers. Clios. A damn joke. Pardon my French, but every award show can eat shit until there's 1 for the great American art form. The car dealership commercial. In action.

Hi, I didn't even know how to drive before I came down here to this car dealership. After 1 day of standing here looking at cars, talking to the people that worked here, All of a sudden, I was the best driver in the world. And that's and I'm me, Mark Andrade, Formula 1 racer.

Hi, I'm Willie Henderson, and that was my new good friend, Mark Andrade. I own Willie's off exit 42 and I am the only car dealership in the the whole country I will not just sell you a car, but we'll make you a good driver before you get out of here. Now, Mark, how many car crashes have you been

in? Well, personally. 2. My

first

alright. I got a 2 for my boom guy. He saw it. Sorry?

Yeah. Hey. It's okay. Let me peek my head in here. My name is Mark Reese. Hang

on.

Let me just

focus. Let me focus you. Hang on. I have to rack way in.

I'm

cutting inside. Your face there. You make yourself right there. Uh-huh.

My name is Mark Richards, and I'm a boom operator, and I had no idea how to drive. When I came down here, I was clueless, steering wheel, what to do? Gas? Is it on the left? Is it on the right? I didn't know. I walked out of here knowing exactly how to drive. And also, I left with a used Jeep with a hundred and 15000 miles on it. Thanks so much. Willie?

And that's a hundred and 15000 Canadian miles on there, which is a smoother road and a better ride. Thank you, Mark, my boom guy. Now, 2 men named Mark, a race car driver and a boom mic operator have come in to Willie Henderson's exit 42 car

deals and and lost the car. Help. Willie. I don't have a car. My family needs to get to soccer practice and I don't know what to do. Well,

well, well, if it isn't my ex wife.

Really, you son of a bitch. Please help.

Here at Willie Henderson, we'll sell the car to anyone in the country except for 1 person. My ex wife in a rush. Sorry, Hadi. You blew it when you said there's no way you can open an auto dealership to get teach people to drive in 1 day. I hope that your family makes it to soccer practice in time and let them know that I'm still willing to coach as long as they'll work around my hours.

Oh, man. Well

crash.

God. I just crashed into the light pole because I don't know how to drive. My name is Chris Richards. My brother Mark. He does the boom. Hey. I'm looking at it.

Chris Richards, who you can hear perfectly well because obviously his brother kept a microphone in the car in case it should ever happen. Well, Chris, if you're okay, why don't you get out of that car? It looks like you need 2 things to learn

to get a new car and to learn how to drive? Yeah. But I gotta learn in 1 day. And as you can see, I'm a terrible driver. Well, I can

get you inside a new dot soon, with only 185 Mexican miles on it for 29 99, and I can get you learning to drive for 15 32. 0 percent APR on the day. And cut. Cut. Okay. Alright, Willie. How'd you feel? Very good. The woman playing my ex doesn't look exactly how I had described, but I was able to work with it and be in the moment.

Was that the stunt car that you crashed? There? No. No. That's my real car. Am I gonna be reimbursed?

Yeah.

We'll have you talk to production about that. How did you feel about that though? You're you're the director. Well,

we tried at your way once, and I gotta say, I think it was a little busy. I think it was

a little long, and I'd love to do 1 as written. I really would. What did it did it feel long? I mean, it's a 30 second spot. So IIII would think we had to run a little longer. It's not a 1 of the fifteens.

Right. Well, I mean, you can You'll probably

be able to cut it down in post not to jump in here. I know I just Thank you, Mark, and Greta. Yes.

Yeah. No. No problem. And yeah. You talking to me? Probably

nope. I'm peeking it in. Mark Andretti, they're not you. Oh, okay. Not

mark Richards. Yeah.

Yeah. How how How was I?

Everybody's performance was good. I just think it was a little busy for the commercial. We can go ahead and give this 1 1 more try, or we can just get to the script as written. I just wanna get to the script 1 time before the day is over. Okay. But I I know whether I'm here to work for you, not you know, you're

not

working for me. So

willie, you wrote 1 last night in the middle of the night. You woke up and wrote it kind of in Chicken scratch on the your idea pad on your

yeah. Then we wanna do my Dream Table script. We could do that all So

do you wanna do this? Do you wanna try a second time on the first 1? I feel like it was a little crazy. No. The first 1 we No. Please. No. I'm hurt. Well Okay.

Chris, I I hope -- Yeah. -- you get medical help, but let's because let's just say the DreamScript does heavily involve you.

As long as I'm not crashing or getting hurt.

Right? Read the script, Chris, read the script. Well,

you know

what?

We're burning we're burning daylight. Why don't we just jump into the second 1

well, why did we start at 06:30PM?

Well, we had to work around Willie's hours, he said. That's right. Everybody has to work around Willie Henderson's crazy hours. And that that's just how you come up with ideas like this and create the most popular driving instructor and used car dealership in the country. Mhmm. Okay.

Well, let's go ahead and reset. Okay. Are we doing the scripting 1?

Or are we doing the are we doing the Dream 1? Because I have both scripts here.

We're doing scripted. We're going to ask the original script for the 30 second spot.

The third. Okay. Alright.

And could I just take my own action or or you wanna call Yeah.

I'm gonna say remember, guys, I'm the director, so I'll go ahead and say action and that will queue you to act.

Okay? Great. Great. Thanks.

Sounds a little bit of acting. Thank you. And 123.

Buck on my Action.

Hey, ladies.

How you doing? I'm Mark Andretti. Look at me. You probably recognize me as a Formula 1 driver. That's right? Uh-huh. I also am a Formula 1 driver like my brother. Mario andretti. Who you probably thought I was. Yeah. So all I could say to you is that if you don't know how to drive, and you need a lesson or 2? Come on down. Oh, yeah. To Willie Anderson?

And

we'll give you the ride of a lifetime.

I'm close.

I'm Willie Henderson. And if Mark Andretti just made you horny, come on down to Willie Henderson's car dealership of 42 over 65. Oh, no.

Out my neck. Wip to me.

And I'm coming into. That's my brother.

And that whip pan was to Chris Richard's and that's the boom guy, his brother. Mark Richard's and cut on the commercial.

Cut. Okay. So we did okay. That was actually pretty good. But you don't have to say cut because you're on camera. I will go ahead and say cut. But that'll be over. That that take was actually pretty clean. Mark, I do want you to decide how you're gonna pronounce your last name. Do you wanna go with Andrade or Adredi? I don't. Just make a choice there. And I think everything was pretty good. Wanna try that 1 again or do we wanna go to another version?

I I missed rereading your resume. What was your background again directing? Well, I did a lot of stage stuff.

I've done a lot of stuff -- Right. -- stuff -- -- publicity. Explicit stage stuff.

Yeah. It's a lot of what we call naked cabaret. But theo

but theo. Naked capiree. Capiree is kind of Scantus

clad. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not nude. It's it's it's it's kinda showing less.

Mhmm.

Does it have, like is there, like, a band and and and and tassels or anything? It's it's more just, like, productions of death of

a salesman but nude. So it's but there's music. There's music. Anyway, it's more experimental. So I'm here mostly to just run camera. I'm not trying to change your vision. I just want to make sure we got what we intend to get. Okay.

Well And

how do you feel, Willie? You feel good about that

1? I'm I'm happy with that take. I would love to do the chicken scratch dream tank if we could also just to see how we have

no. It's

me. Chris, Richard. How you doing over there? Chris, how you doing? My neck is in bad shape. Am I bleeding?

Yeah. Just a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Alright.

Can we Well, let's get a banana for Chris real quick and we'll take a second to Oh, thanks.

Get a banana and a cutie. Oh. Crafty? Okay.

I'm

not curious. Yeah. Go ahead, brother. The sound effects that Chris and you were doing into the boom mic of the horny ladies. Is that just 10 Rary, and we'll put some other ones in the edit, or was that what we're gonna go with?

Oh, sorry. Were we doing script 2? I thought we were doing script 2. You wanted those. Right? Well,

the side effects are great. I just in the script, it said horny ladies and I didn't know that on set, it would be done by the director and the boom operator. I'm just wondering if is it gonna be temporary sound there? Or is that what we're using?

In post, we're gonna hire some ladies. I know some ladies from death of a salesman nude, and I was gonna ask them to come do it. Yeah. That's the title of the place. Because

because because it's salesman need

yeah. Because it's not just the salesman that's nude, because there is a version that's death of a new nude salesman that I've seen before, but this 1 goes

a little further.

That's a funny 1. Now this is -- Yeah. -- this is more sexual. Everybody's nude, but it is word for word verbatim, death of a salesman. Right. And then at the end, they do voulez vous couchet.

Oh, way to marble up. Yeah. At

the end, they No. No. They do vous les but bouche. Yeah. Which I've seen it. I've seen it? Me too. It's very good.

It's very good. Okay. If we're done questioning my credits, I would love to just move on to the chicken scratch dream version, if that's

okay. Let's do the chicken scratch dream version.

Okay. And we're doing the chicken scratch dream. I hope everybody has read their script in 321. Actually Let's have

some fun.

Cold.

Oh, my God. The crash is early at This

man, Chris Richardson, just ran into me, Mark Andrario. It's Richard's. Oh, Oops. I, of course, am a formula 2 driver. Oh, and I didn't know how to drive. Before I bought my car here at Willy Hender Sores Auto. Hi, I'm Willy Hender Sore.

Cut cut cut cut. Mark. Mark, I asked you to get how you want to say your last name, not add a different change to everything you say. Okay? What?

I'm sorry. I didn't wanna get

too far into that 1 because I really love this version.

I

really love this version. Sorry.

I was rolling with that change. I don't know if you heard. He's at Henderson and I rolled with it because And it was

a

really good improv.

I have some stage experience. I don't know if you saw my audition for of a salesman nude. I never heard back afterwards, but I do have some stage experience and

that was you.

Yes. I was the 1 who refused to take my clothes off in the end. I am so sorry. We really liked you, but

we lost your tape. We lost your tape, unfortunately.

I have

it.

Well, that could be good. Let me pop it in. Let me pop it in. Yeah. Pop it roll the v roll the the card on, and just pop it into the TV on the cart, and maybe we'll roll it back. Row the elementary school. Yeah. The big fat tube TV on the that you keep in the showroom next to the popcorn. Yeah. Why don't we roll that out? And then play

let

me take a lot. How is this Jones

out of it? Substitute teacher Wilson for rolling on out.

You're welcome.

Just a sec here, guys. Okay. Looks like we're ready to go. Okay? So we're gonna do the dream chicken scratch version 1 more time. And when I say action, we'll just jump into it. Everybody did. We're

gonna go into so we're not gonna watch the tape here of the audition. I just thought we had a little to watch the audition. Oh,

that's right. Yeah. We could. We could. But

you don't wanna watch my audition. It's okay if you don't wanna see it. Well,

i just think we lost

it. I think we lost the audition. Oh, we have it right here. Just rolled up.

000, yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, why don't we go ahead and play that? And get the camera on that, just in case. Yeah. And 3, camera speed. Sound speeds, 2, 1, action on tape. And

hi. I'm Willie Henderson. This is my actual real, naked body. That's not a cucumber. That's the real thing downtown.

And

i will be doing a scene. I'll be doing a scene from William Henderson. Can

we see we're gonna zoom in on downtown. 1 second.

Okay, paused. Keep the recording going, but pause the tape. Okay, we're zoomed in and play.

Play. Okay. This is me Willie Henderson and I'll be doing a scene from Willie Henderson Commercial circa 20 18. And I'll be playing the role of Willie Henderson with some help from my friends

here.

I fell through the ceiling of the audition room. Has

this ever happened to you? You were walking somewhere because you don't know how to drive and don't have a car that you fell right through the ceiling. Well, I could solve both of those problems for you at Willie Henderson's exit 42, car dealership and training school. This injured man here would have never fallen through my ceiling if you knew how to drive which he could learn in 1 day from me and my friend, a certain race car driver

you might recognize. Hi, I'm me. Mark, Aljandro. I am a funny

car racer

who has won lots of different titles. I didn't know how to drive. Until I came down here to my buddy, Willie Anderson's auto dealership. And the time that I by the time I left, I was a award winning chef. I mean, auto racer. I had a great time to this this is a little wordy. You want me to take anything out? I feel like I have added a lot.

Keep rowing. No. That's perfect. Thank you. Okay. And that was my monologue. Thanks for watching. This was me doing a monologue. My perfectly naked body? Uptown. Those are real nipples. Not slices of zucchini.

And cut Well, and substitute too. Go ahead and And pull pulling

pulling out. Sound cuts. Yeah. Wow.

Thank you sound for all the extra description of what you're doing for sure. We really appreciate where the boob mic is going. I am a little worried about the recording is going.

A little worried the audio is gonna pick up throughout the take that he's describing what he's doing with the mic throughout.

I'm a little worried about that too. I'm not I'm not actually used to film sets.

We're losing light.

Well, so that was my that was my option. Now that you've seen it on the unlossed tape. How'd you like my monologue? I

gotta say the audition was great. Unfortunately, the production has run its course, so it doesn't apply to auditioning. But I will say, you got a pretty good commercial already.

Yes. I

didn't know that here

i think we got

was the commercial.

Well, my audition was a retelling of the commercial. I was acting out a commercial that already existed. I can't we can't re air the same commercial is not We can't just read

the No. I mean, the we

re aired the recording we just made of the elementary school VCR of the audition of the commercial? Well, it's interesting. And it'll it'll get people going,

it'll

get them to lean in. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I am feeling a little concerned that this is not a race car driver I've hired and that it is somebody pretending for a paycheck. III have sign your paychecks to cash, and you haven't remembered your name now ever.

Hi. My name's cash. Can you sign my paycheck over And at a 0, please. Willie, I don't

think this guy is from that race family. I think this is just a guy. I I in that did you see in the audition I think at a certain point he thought he was Mario batali because he said he was a chef at the end. I think so too.

I think we have the safety

oh. I have to take a phone call. I'm I'm just gonna step away for a second. Sure.

Okay.

You know, I think we have the safety of the commercial, filming the commercial on the TV

hold on. I got a little light jump. Some fun stuff. Hello. Is this I got hello. Hello? I got the I got in my Hello? Hello? Is this hi. Is this the FBI?

Yes. This is the FBI. What do you have a tip? I well, I think I I'm I think I'm a little confused. And sad, and I

need some help. III just need some action. I need somebody to come help me. Sound speech. I think I've been kidnapped I I've been I've been brought down to this car dealership, and I've been forced to do a a commercial over and over again. For this guy.

Oh my god. That's horrible.

Yeah. And listen.

Well, are are you safe right now? Can you tell us where you are? We'll come

right away. I'm off of exit 42.

Hey, Phillips. So I think I'm hearing your voice on the TV right now. It's commercial. What? I don't know. Oh,

i'm dying. This is it.

Hi. I'm Willie Henderson. And I kidnapped a man made a guy crash several times and I'm running from the FBI just so you can get a cheap car and learn how to drive in a single day. Sure. Okay.

If only, I had a fiat with a hundred and 90000. French miles. Well, I've

got I I could do you 1 better and die soon.

No. Oh, no. Looks like he's saying his last words.

I don't. Won't. That piece of crap.

Oh, I've heard of a death of a salesman. Oh and he's got x's on his eyes and he croaked. He has x's on his eyes. Somebody put put his eyelids down. Put his eyelids down. They're wide open. Please put his eyelids down. I got it. Okay. Somebody. Well, I'm recording. We're recording. I'm just gonna even his face out a little bit to normal death face. Pull it. Okay. It went too far.

Willie, just say the lines. Focus.

Okay. Sorry. I just it looks like he's screaming Just

just put your arm around him. Just put your arm around him. We'll

hit both of you

guys.

Speaker. I probably would do the lines when you pull back. I

guess.

Hi. I'm Willie Henderson. And unlike a certain Willie, Loman who died naked. I'm a salesman that won't ever die. This is my dead friend Chris. We're dying to make sure that you could get a car. Oh, no. He's not dead. He's alive. Wow. You heard it here first. My friend is simply sleeping because he's so amazed it. So look at this big smile on his face here. And cut. Okay. Lauren, what

do you think?

What

do you think, Lauren?

I like it. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. It's interesting. Excuse me.