On this crazy road that we call life, you may find yourself craving a sandwich, but not just any sandwich. 1 that is 6 inches or a footlong, 1 with customizable toppings, fix ins, oil vinegar, sauces. If you're craving that very specific thing, you're going to want to eat fresh right here in this location.

Chengling and everything.

Hi. Well, on the subway, what can I get you?

Hey. Do you guys still have those little round rolls?

Oh, the little ones that you would maybe put, like, a baloney baloney on?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know the ones we're talking about?

Yes. Yes. We used to have those, like, early 2 thousands. But after we discontinued the kids' pack, we don't have that bread anymore. So we just do 6 and 12 inch.

Okay. Well, let me get a let me get a foot long olive. And Is that

bread?

No. Olive sandwich on bread.

And what bread would you like? What long? What bread?

I'll take an olive sandwich on Italian bread.

Okay. Italian You

wanna listen up here, buddy.

I'm sorry. I just didn't hear if you said but I

don't actually do the olives.

Extra vinegar.

You heard, my friend, pipe up right at the very beginning. He jumped the gun just a little bit, but he does I do the bread and the cheese and the meat, and he does the olive. So I'm just wondering if you want you get Italian bread,

italian, footlong. Extra vinegar. And then

i I can just send it on down. You don't want any meat or cheese. Do

you do vinegar? No.

He does vinegar.

Okay. Then I'm done with you.

Okay. Alright. Here you go.

Alright. Thank you. We Large olive. Okay.

Okay. So we'll just take some

black dog. Can you hear what I was saying to him or is that divider?

I think I heard I think I heard the whole thing, large olive, extra vinegar. Yep. And so we'll take a I'm assuming you want, like, a sort of full portion of all olives, not just a dusting.

Yeah. Okay. It's an olive sandwich guy. Okay.

So we'll just kinda cover the bread here in olives and

do you have any kalamata?

We actually only have these diced black olives. Is that is

that okay? What are those called? I

think they're just

called black olives. Okay. I

really wish

i had kalamata. You guys ought to talk to corporate about getting a kalamata olive.

That's a good idea having a variety of olives. Could probably be a good idea, but so I'll just go ahead and cover the bread in August. And did you want this toasted? No. Okay. Is gonna be pretty wet. I just don't you to know.

Okay. So you remember me? Yeah. Like a wet olive Yeah. That's good. Okay.

Alright. So then I'm just gonna sort of put some vinegar on here, and then that that's it. This

is It means no. Give it another. I

have more

vinegar. Okay. I don't know. You said I'm gonna sort of put some vinegar on here. I'm getting olive and vinegar. I want a lot of both.

Okay. Here you go. And there you go. Why are

you so sad right now? I'm not sad. What's so hard about this?

There's nothing hard. It's just an odd sandwich is all that that Oh.

Alright. I'm done. Okay. Great. No, sir. You mean you're done. You're not gonna buy it? Or

yes. I'm done. I didn't I think, like, there's treats. Thanks with nothing. Sir, sir. Sir, please. I'll take I mean, the sandwich is trash. I'll take it. Sir, it was a little

i'm done

i'm done. But if you're not gonna do anything with the sandwich, I will take

sir, people do this all the time. They they we make your sandwich and they say, No. Actually, I don't want it. And then we're gonna throw it away. And then we say we're gonna throw it away. And then they say, well, I'll just take it then if you're gonna throw away.

Okay. This is the

guy from the dumpster. This is the guy from Outback. This is the guy from the dumpster. I was there once. I'm not from it, like, it's my mother.

I didn't think you were it's your city.

So are you gonna do anything with that sandwich? I'm gonna ring it up. I'm gonna ring it up. I'm gonna figure out how

it up right now. For it, sir. No. That bitch, I don't. And you can't have it you can't have your cake and eat it too, sir. I

don't

want cake. I want an olive sandwich extra vinegar. Okay.

It's gonna be 4 dollars and 54 cents, sir. For

who?

For you. I don't want that.

I'm asking, do you

have any old sandwiches that people don't want? We don't, sir. Of course, we do. But they're they're accidents.

I'm fine with that. No. This is why we put a cage around the dumpster. Okay? You're not just gonna come in here in And I'm sorry to say this terrible disguise and just get an olive sandwich.

Okay. I'm calling corporate. Goodbye.

Up, sir, cling, man. Shit. He's

walking straight towards the dumpster.

Basically. Let's just not throw

it away. Let's Sorry. You guys were talking to Joiner. Okay.

Jesus, he's

hurting his hands bad. Jesus, he's hurting his hands bad. Okay. Alright. Hi. Sorry, sir. That was just I apologize about that. Welcome to Subway. How can I help you? I'll do the usual. Oh, hey. Hey, George. Yeah. So so how's it going today? I'll just go ahead and make it here. Oh, you know, ups, downs, ins and outs the whole thing. Okay. And that's provolone bun. You you want provolone bun? Yeah. On the outside?

Yes. So give you the bun. The usual. K. Take the bun out. Put provolone

on. Sorry. Sorry. Put it in the microwave.

I get this so confused sometimes, but you pay top dollar, so we'll, of course, do it. So we toast we toast a roll of

no. No. No. No. I'll do it. Listen listen. Listen. I'll just do that. Okay. You take

sorry. I knew. Long bun. Here

look, I'll show you how you do it. You take the foot long bun, cut it like normal, open it up, put it upside down on the tray so that it's it's toasted side or the outside of the bun on top

there's that word again. It's not toasted. It is microwaved,

right. Right. But then you put we put the provolone on the outside of the bun, put it in the microwave for 3 minutes. Right? I'm sorry. Is that even a time? A

hundred and 80 seconds?

Yeah. It's it's it's Listen, it's really crazy, and it ruins the

sandwich. Alright. And it's a bun. Right? It's not a it's not a loaf we have here. He says bun.

No. Just a bun. I'm holding a bun in front of your face. What do you think the bun is for? My health? Okay.

Yes. Yes. So microwave his bun, he brings in.

He brings it

up on Put Progalom on the

outside. Outside. And you put it in there for a hundred and 80 seconds? Honestly, it's gonna it's crazy. So it's like a real

purry grilled cheese.

Are the cookies today? Fresh?

Yeah. We actually just made a batch. Would you would you like some? You don't normally get them. Nope. Okay. But you want us to to warm up your dessert that you brought brought in?

Please. Yes. Thank you.

Okay. Okay. Second bun? Second bun. And this is the same as the first?

Spriggle that with powdered sugar.

Okay.

Got we don't actually have that. You brought your own powdered sugar. Right? Yeah. There's a lot of I don't mean Okay. This is cocaine. This is definitely good. And, sir, do you have a kitchen? I do. Because we basically just make lunch with your ingredients. Right

now. But You know, every lunch is always better when someone else makes it for you. Wouldn't you agree? That

is John. My name is John. I've told I said many The subway You don't have

you know?

Subway, that's the name of the restaurant. That's not my my name tag.

What was it on your name tag? Not

your name tag. Okay. Oh, God. You didn't hear next yet, sir.

Okay. I'll wait

my turn. Well, you did here next, but I I think it's because you walked past that MTV show that was working

actually, I'll tell you what. Oh, yeah. Kicked off that thing. The

next bus has gotta get out of the parking

lot. Well, I just got yeah. I just got kicked off at I'm a new guy.

Oh.

So hold on. What were you

sorry. I'll wait my turn.

Just now go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'd prefer the social experience here. What's your number? What's your

number, sir? Yeah. Let me get You know what? Let me get a foot long olive. Okay. Okay. I thought that was you. I fucking thought that was you. You're actually getting pretty

good at these discussions.

Sir,

we still

have the sandwich. Of the

skies. I just got kicked off the next bus. Look at my long head. I'm a surfer.

Dine bag. Listen dimebag. We know it's

you. Large aleph?

No. Alright.

If you want it, we could just

send it to you. I told you. I told Oh, little dividing of the rate. See, I wonder if you said no. 1 of you said yes.

If you pay me 4 dollars and 54 cents, you can have the sandwich, and you just have to promise me that you'll And you won't Can

i get the last 1 and this 1? Price of 1, I get

2. Let us just trash. And I'm I'm let

us just finish with You got it.

Sir, you want a drink. Right?

Yeah. I could use 1.

But Having a long day, bud.

Oh my god. Yes. My wife still won't end our divorce. Really?

Give me get back together.

Whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. So

you you have

a cup here? That you brought in?

Yes, so just crack open this vaughn sparkling water and pour it into the cup there.

Alright. I opened the skin and butter, and there's a bun in it. There's just bread inside this can. Okay. A bun popped out, like, if it was a

can of snakes. Gotcha. That

was that was really good.

I mean How did you get a bun to have spring action?

Science science testing. You put it. I took the springs off my trampoline. Sorry to my son and his friends. And I put them in the bun.

Those are inverted springs. Those aren't the springs those are the ones that, like,

spread out. By a good

trip,

about when they had boingies on them. Alright. So I'll do this real quick so my friend can get his delicious sounding sandwich. Let's scrip this 1, I'll do a foot long olive. Hang on.

Hold on. Hang on.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That just fell That thing just fell down and it was nothing but closed. Is that

you?

Was that you the whole time? What? Oh my god. Where did this new guy go? Oh, my Were

you How were you even doing that? Were you

how were What what was he asking for? He was asking for a large Hold on. There was a

moment where there was That sounds correct.

There was a moment where

there were 2 obvious people in here. How were you doing it? Were you going back and forth?

Yeah.

Yeah. I was going back and forth. Yeah. It was me yeah.

Jesus. Alright. Nobody moved. Go. This is a robbery.

Wait. What? Jesus. Get down.

Hands up. Cheers

up.

What are you? You can't you can't stick us up with a bun. I

don't wanna hurt anybody. You're not going to with that. Oh, this isn't a bun. It's a

gun. No. I think you're confused.

All you want is a large olive. Well, don't blow it. Oh, sorry. Hold on. How is how is look, the other 1 fell

down. It was nothing but clothes. Dimebag. How are you doing this? That's right. Well,

that's what you think. I'll take a large olive, extra vinegar, on a bun.

Oh my

god. Alright, fellas. This is the police. We just got a call of a robbery in here. Yeah.

Okay. The police are outside obvious they they're calling in from their squad car over the speaker. Yes. Yes.

Alright. Come in, please. Everything

will be okay. We just need you all. To safely come inside Outside with your hands up and leave the door unlocked and the cover off a couple of the items.

Hang

out. Oh, what items? Which items?

1 foot of bread.

God, I hope it's not what I think.

And everything but the olives. Leave the covers off. Oh my god. Call them so they don't go

bad. The cop

car just turned into a pile of clothes.

Damn it. He does it too fast.

Dimebag. How are you doing this?

Just make the sandwich. I'm willing to do that. A simple

foot long olive extra vin. Alright. Make it. Here. Here's the Italian bread. It's

here. 4 4 dollars and 54 cents, sir.

Okay. I'm done. But I have an order that my friend wanted me to put in for.

Okay.

Okay.

Can I do that? That'll be it to go, and I'll pay for that. I see I have a money envelope It's got the cash right

here. Can I see

so she's gonna want a bun with provolone on the outside? Who's the real 1?

Is it provolone man or dimebag? That's the real

1.

Hold on. I'm falling apart. I'm turning into a pile of clothes. What

hey. Wait. You're wait. No. You work here. You've been here wait. You shoulda just

made the sandwich little pun.

Hang Hang on. Hang on. No. No. No.

No. All it was was 24 ounces of olives and 24 ounces of vinegar. And you'd have gotten out of this without it. Everybody turning to

clothes. Please, sir,

please. Calm down, please. I just listen. You

can have

all the olives. You can all the bread. Okay? Just please don't I don't want the bread anymore. Yes, you do. I want you to turn to clothes. No, please. I don't anything but clothes. Oh,

anything? Yeah, please. Don't turn me into clothes. Large, darling.

Foot long. Don't

went. Oh,

i'm I'm a foot long olive, extra

vin.

I'm

i'm a sandwich.

My name's Alex and I'm here on next to find the perfect man who likes the exact kind of sandwich that I like. I'm 22. I go to UC Santa Barbara and I love pomeranians. Let's see who shows up on the bus today. Hey, what's up, Alex? I'm a 64 year old man, and I love olive sandwiches.

That's the only fact about me.

Wow. It's my dad, but I'm not gonna nice thanks, hon. I feel too guilty to next internet. So I'm gonna go on a date with

honey, what are you watching in here? Nothing.

Nothing. I'm not watching anything. It sits.

Is that a son is that a father

i

you zipping up your pants? No. I'm not wearing pants. Are you watching Is that a father and

son going on date?

What is this? Turn

it up. Turn it up. Share this sandwich all day, baby.

Whoa. Like lady in the trip, but it's me and my dad eating us all in San Francisco.

Okay. Turn it down. Turn it down again. What is this? They said Immediately, they they were father and son. It was it was labeled different in the catalog.

It's like catalog. Your PPE has ended to continue deposit 10 more dollars. Deposit. Is this a tajing? Honey, what? You pay you paying the TV cash and a little thing? I'll tell you what, there's enough vinegar on this bad boy for me.

Well, not me, so we'll have to add more vinegar and then kiss some more while we eat the sandwich. Honey, you know what? Next. Marxed by my dad who I didn't next.

Honey, what are the rules of this show? It's next but it's just weirder.

Hi. Welcome back to parental control where 1 person goes on a date while their parents watch what hap

hi.

My name's Alex, and I'm gonna go on a date with a 64 year old band that I think is my dad.

Honey.

We're not watching this too. Why did you put 10 more dollars in? Stop going through my wall.

I have it autopay. I have it on autopay. I didn't

know

what they

say.

Hey. Oh, honey.

Hey, dad. Where'd you wanna go to dinner?

Jesus.

What do you think? Well, let me check with my dad in my ear.

Take him to subway. Oh my god. Yeah. Hi. We'll take a large you want a large olive? We'll take a large olive extra VIN, 1 week. What? What? I love a tree. There's so The only piece This is less cow. Jars of every TV show. Honey. Turn on TRL. It's

turn on TRL. Honey,

that's the whole thing. TRL is just gonna be the same No. It's not. To change? Turn it on. Turn it in.

Look, here, it's a And then coming in at number 3, that was blink 1 82 with all small things. We've got that weird

it's a large olive baby. That's all it is. It's a large olive, baby. I don't want kids. They're also Click 1 82, no. Honey. Listen, babe. I literally

can't explain it. This is just what gets me turned on.

Tajang. And

you got your pants off and you're jerking it to this?

Why? I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Dad eats a sandwich with his son and then they kiss.

Long. Oh, down, down, large. All ill. Turned it up.