The Tesla Store

the weeks before Christmas and all across the city, people flock to the malls for gifts that are pretty. From food courts dispensers to kioskalore, the malls where kind shoppers find their favorite store. Some holiday gifts come right from the heart but some cost big money for push button starts. No gas in the tank a car to remember to show your deep love, it's time for a Tesla.

Alright, guys. So we're super excited about the Tesla holiday event. We are giving fifteen hundred dollars off if you buy before the first. Great. So that's really exciting. So I just wanted to go over a couple of things. Obviously, we're selling our selling point here is that we're getting rid of the dealership. Okay? People order their cars online and it gets delivered directly to them. So we're getting rid of the middleman, which is really cool. So Yeah. I don't know if you guys have any questions. I know a couple of you have been with Tesla for a while in different locations, but you recently moved over here. Maybe Jilton. Yes. One of our best salesman. Yeah. Yeah. This is Kirk, He used to be at the Palisades store.

So Yeah. We've heard the stories. We've heard all the stories about that. You know, I'll be on with you, Kirk. I was a little bit upset when I heard you were coming to our store right in time for the holiday event because I was thinking, you know, And and listen, I've I've everybody who's worked here for a while knows that I've always been saying this is the month that things turn around for me. Yeah. I'm gonna start selling cars. I'm gonna I'm gonna get my pitch down paths.

And let me tell you, we've heard about you in the palisades. No kidding. Yeah. Word got up.

What only good things I hope.

Well, as you know, Phil came from a Chevrolet dealership. Yeah. I'm an old school guy.

I'm an old school guy. I'm an old school guy. I like to see in the car with somebody, I like

to drive around. Someone take a test drive through the mall?

I did. I did, but I I cleared it with all the stores in our way.

But you didn't clear name. No. No. You can dog clear it with me.

I also I also tell him not to go over fifteen miles per hour.

That's it matter bill. That's no good. You know we have car we we have cars in the parking garage, and those are for test drive.

But this guy was saying I wanna get a feel how it'll be.

But there's only one car in the showroom. Right. Right.

He he ended up taking a hard ride through the journey store. Came back with a couple of boots in the car. Well, but we were upset about that.

Boss, I don't mean I

don't mean to talk back.

I don't mean to talk back.

Luckily, Elon, tweeted four twenty sixty nine journey boots

yeah.

and everybody laughed. So it

--

was fine. I don't mean to to to sort of speak in

on Twitter. I'll tell

you this though. That car, I almost sold it. I almost sold it. That guy's almost washed out of here with with the car.

He was very impressed by the self driving technology.

Because, you know, it was self driving through literally not roads. It will

yeah. Bill, I don't know why you are is so stoked on one of the worst things that happened to our store. It really worries me, but we need you here because you are a good salesman and we're gonna let you off. Thank you.

I think Sean is loving this back and forth because he used it to take it a a fifth cup of coffee over there.

Sean, leave some coffee for the rest. I'm just staying quiet and hopped up my

so Sean, you are new. I do want to I'm

a Sean Moore cars than anybody guarantee it.

Sean, you got a great voice. Sean came from the radio. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.

Wait. Yeah. You're the guy who does the fast talking at the end of, like

oh, yeah. Yes.

Sure. I do

sweet steaks and whatnot.

Sign a partessel

silent protest of the day. But he's

everybody better sign up for

a Tesla today. Excuse Sorry. Not silent protest. Yeah. Well, it feels like that's

your whole job is to do that understandably. Not

anymore. Quick

not anymore. By Sean. Sean Sippin. Now, Sean, do you have any questions?

Are we selling everything? We sell the model three?

We're selling the model three. We're selling the model y. We got the x in here, and we have the new Tesla Cyber truck.

can relate to self sell sell these cars cars cars.

Well, I

I don't feel like you have to use that voice here in the store.

Absolutely, man.

Okay. Good. Alright, guys. So let's go over the new model x. Sorry. Cream here.

Just sure this have already had five cups. I usually have a creamer. There's no creamer here.

We've have powder creamer in the drawer there. Yuck. Sean. Sean.

I don't like powder creamer.

Just come The the coffee's really for the customers.

Not anymore?

Sean. It's Christmas. John. No. None of that none of that's, like, we feel better about this. Okay? Let's go over

i had a little more shoot caffeine. You've

had a

little much too, Kathy. You have you need to put that cup down. Okay. Okay? Throw that away.

I put it down right underneath the spout. Do a little

no. Don't make another stop. Pretty creamer in here? I just answered that. It's the power. I promise

you I'm gonna sell a car. I know exactly how to sell a car. Nobody comes from entrepreneurship.

Shot. He'll get the hang of it, boss. Like, just just just let him do his thing. He'll get the hang of it. I think don't get too obsessed with anyone. Alright.

Let's go with the yeah.

Can I ask policy wise here?

Yes.

Do you all because in Palstates, we all do it different ways. Do you have employees go out to the mall and kinda talk People as they're walking back, or do you wait for the

what? Discasa, Nick. You get

too many whats for someone whose whole job. It's me, understood.

And you sell too many cars.

Did you really come from the radio? That's what you

kept saying. Of course, you never do the radio.

That's not a good call out. You sell too many cars.

You sell too many cars. Obviously, you guys work in the palisades, he sells them because these people are rich they already won't test it. Sure. So it's not hard.

I've actually sold test this to very poor people too. I've sold test this to everybody. Yeah. Finance solubility.

These are electric cars, Phil.

Shot. What is its notes? Don't fake rev.

Sitting behind the wheel, turning it like a little kid pretending.

Get out of the note. Model three.

This is fart next. Do the fart town.

I've been wanting to say this recently.

Don't do the work because I've

been wanting to say this recently.

Sean, get off to Sean, you can't bring your own cushion in here. The the cars have them.

I've been wanting to finish this idea.

You blows it up so fast in between podcasts.

No. This says silent but deadly, and it's being loud. It's Is this supposed to Why would

you ask the home of fart?

No. That's not it. We went over this in your interview.

Wait. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

Just another is really so hard.

Listen. He's a famous guy. Okay? I wanted him to

now see, that's not fair. My interview my interview, I was also very clear about my expectations. Okay? And I've had to curb my impulses extensively since I started working here.

Well, yes. You brought in the gas can to your interview, said, where does this go?

Yeah. I asked if if we can't use the real stuff, can I at least get one of my cousins gasoline scented candles and bring it in and put and burn it in my office and you said no? That would be disruptive to the work environment.

Because your cousin's gasoline said a cancel candles used gasoline. And so they were they went up and played.

Just They were just cans of guest cocktails. You throw into -- Maltops.

--

mousletops. Mousletops. Mousletops, cocktails.

Mousletops, cocktails. Which Awesome. Of course, a holiday movie. Well, I'm gonna say I was gonna say, it feels like it might be a nice little thing if we can sort of offer up something to a little bit different clientele. Around this time of year.

Yeah. Can we sell to Jews here?

I know Elon has a problem with it, but I wouldn't I I am

elon does not have a problem. Love with that. Okay. Okay.

He wanted to choose?

Of course, you can sell to people who are due.

I wasn't true. You policy on selling to Jews so he did come out as positive for Jewish.

He didn't need to come out. He he is positive. He was never negative. Was never

well, yeah. I would like to hear what you have to say about the model x because I've obviously done all my research.

Okay. Well, this year

some new features on the model x. We've got the that the steering wheel has changed.

we got

Stop. It makes It's not a light sip if you're doing it out of the whole canteen thing. Where did

you get the coffee can team?

It's a really good cup of joy. I've had the whole thing.

Okay. Listen. We we got a steering wheel change. Obviously, the it has gone to the two handles steering wheel. We don't have the circle steering wheel.

I love that. So now you feel like you're driving a plane. Yes.

No. I'm not selling that one. I'm not selling that one.

Phil. But you have to sign up Is it even a

car anymore? Is it even a car that's been my big problem with Tesla since I started working here. Are these even cars anymore?

They're they drive on the road. They got four wheels. The steering wheel just changed. Yeah. Steering. Yeah.

Your question is way

off. Of course they're cars. They're just changing some of the standard boring old funky stuff

--

oh. -- that we, you know, car culture has been stuck -- You'll

--

in the in Henry Ford.

I think we're stuck in a little too much competition. Obviously, we wanna sell cars. Obviously, they're all gonna be testless. What are our quotas? Do we have quotas for the weekend, for the day, for the year?

Well, that's the cool thing about Tesla, there are no quotas that you have to make.

It's great. It attracts some of the laziest people possible. I'm in high solvency cars and

it looks amazing. Tesla really sells itself. It's a popular car. We have wait lists. All you have to do is be there to help people go through the interface and and take their payment. And then get the delivery set up. Okay? Can I please finish the the features?

Of course.

Okay. So they've gotten rid of the gull wing doors on the back. They open, like, a a typical car door.

That's a disappointment.

Yeah. It's a little

bit That's a disappointment.

Okay. See, that's the voice. That's the voice that we hired him for. Okay.

Actually, you want me to use the voice.

Sean, if you you're very famous for for coming in and hitting the voice on the radio. I thought it would be good in the store here, and feel free to use that.

Let's

go ahead and get you on a new Tesla today.

Okay. There we go.

That was really good. Alright. So before I think I know who

my competition is here. But but I

think you've had enough coffee shop, but, honestly, since you're doing the voice now, I don't really care that you're drinking that much. So before I open up the grate on the front door, and people start coming in here. Do we have any questions?

Yeah. Where are we celebrating after I sell all these cars today?

Okay. That's that's very funny. I will, though, if you sell a Tuesday Nobody left.

Not a single laugh in the house. Try eyes. Okay. Try eyes full cups. Big poops. No. I have a poop. I drink a lot of coffee.

No. Sean, stop with the farting and the pooping, and I I

said this is an interview.

I said this in your interview.

You said stop with the farting and the pooping reiterate? And you still hired him?

He's got the voice. Listen. Oh, no. He is driving off into the hey. Hey. Get back here. Get back here. Get back there. Bill. Don't take her out. No.

Darnies. Welcome.

Hi. I'd like a deal guys have sketchers in a size fourteen.

Yes. You're the biggest man to ever buy a pair of Scatchers. Congratulations.

Did the guy who loves Scatchers just crash into the store again? Don't you get sale. What you want?

Size fourteen. Big skechers.

Big wide skechers.

Yeah. Wide. What you got?