Engraving Store

Twas the weeks before Christmas and all across the city, People flock to the malls for gifts that are pretty. From food courts dispensers to kioskalore. The malls where kind shoppers find their favorite store. We live for our memories, the stories they tell, some fly from our brain.

We know this too well. They must be remembered through pics that we cherish. So call the engraver for something quite garish.

Yeah. So I'm here to pick up a plaque that says in loving memory of Gundy. Our grandpa is we called him Gundy. Okay. It was just like a little family name.

I'm sorry for your loss.

And then I think you engraved you said you could do his face. In the gold

--

or shadings.

yes.

Yeah. So I'm actually excited to reveal this and just see how you feel about it. I think it's very tasteful.

Okay. Good.

And Gundy because we did this all through email. I wish I had followed up. But I've never heard Gundy as pet name for a grandpa. What was it pet name? I guess

yeah. It's just

what my son called him

when he was very

young. So it stuck. And he was trying to say granddaddy, but he says good and d. So it stuck.

And it's just That's unfortunate because I just thought you meant Gandhi. But I spelled it

g u n d y.

Right. I thought it was a typo. I should've followed up. I should've followed up. But anyway, let's just do Okay.

I see you have a little piece of silk over the

yeah. Let me just pull that off. And we what kind of reveal would you like just

real quick?

Because we do

i mean, I don't really care, but I feel like

you wanna pull it hard.

And some people really like that reveal. This feels a little more delicate. So I just wanna

yeah. I mean we he we recently lost Gundy And I hope

because I did include

a photo

no. I didn't include

a photo of Gundy.

Yes. If you emailed back and you're like, if you would like

a photo of him engraved in the plaque, I

could do that. We have a new machine.

And did you use that all. Did you input that into the machine? Or did

Right.

you Well,

i thought I took some liberties because I thought the photo maybe you sent was

wrong. Okay.

Here, let's just Oh, no.

No. Ghandy.

It's it's a talking And I see my I see my father's face in Gandhi's belly. Yo. It's Gandhi.

Gandhi finally got that nice big meal.

He wanted. Which was my father? That he wanted. I didn't know he's that's part of his Well,

he was on a hunger strike.

Got him.

Okay. I don't Yeah. I definitely I don't yet.

I just can't believe the technology worked. I never tried.

I can't. It's a shitty one of

those. Pleasure.

Okay. I can see your website.

Speaker that just could tell that it's out in the light.

I'm so sorry.

Here's the thing.

So does it stop saying Gandhi at night?

Gandhi. I guess not.

Every fifteen seconds, this like says Gandhi, and it's a picture of Gandhi with my dad's face. Yeah. Hit the belly.

I should have thought of a way for it to turn off or anything like that.

Cover it back up. Cover it back up. I don't want this.

I understand. That's fine. I'll find someone who wants this. I guarantee it. But I'm not worried about it.

But it does say Gundy.

It it doesn't say Gundy. Right. I should've love the memory of Gundy.

I should've picked one. I think I was worried that maybe it was supposed to be gone to you, but then I was like, well, maybe it's not. And I know you're grieving and you're a a a brief, breathe. Excuse me. I'm not

a breathe. I'm not I feel like you're abbreviating everything that I wanted.

Okay. Okay. Nice comeback. Right?

That's a very good Nice. And it's on me. It's on me.

I'm sorry. I am not gonna give you a five star review on Yelp. Like, you want all the signs they're leading into you.

Please give us five stars on Yelp.

Yes. I'm not In

fact, I'm gonna

give you one star

and I'm gonna explain this.

Alright. Goodbye. Hi.

Come in.

Oh, hi. Happy holidays.

Fuck that guy just went off.

Yeah. Hi. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Is there I

just had a very bad sale.

Oh, Okay. Well, is this a bad time? I have a order. I I like the place. I know this last minute. Oh, it's

i think it is a bad time for me.

Okay. Is there another store in the mall that I can No.

You can come back. It's just a bad time right now for me. Could I just take Ten seconds. Sure. Just walk around there's some really cool stuff here. Sure. Can I take ten seconds?

Yeah. That's fine.

had a very bad so put there's something I put a lot of time and effort into and and a lot of thought and it just didn't go the way I thought it was.

I just

I don't need to hear all this really.

Well, I'm sitting you know why so take seconds. Look over there. That's a nice little cat

or I actually have the items that I'm gonna get engraved on.

Wonderful. I'll be right back. Gandhiy.

Are you are you ready now?

I am. Okay.

I

was ready as I will be.

I'm very sorry about whatever happened. I didn't I I did notice that man leaving was was pretty upset. But yeah. So sorry. I I actually have my in laws are visiting for the first time since I got married this Christmas. Awesome. And and I got this this picture frame that it's a picture of myself and my brother and both of our sons. And it's it's sort of a a thing that I wanted to give to them.

You guys adopted together?

No. It's it's it's it's an interesting family dynamic. Don't question it. Really?

Okay. I've seen some pretty weird stuff.

No. It's just me and my brother.

Grandpa got eaten by God. No.

We married twins. Like, my brother and I married a set of twins

--

oh, really.

--

both and we both had kids. So there's a picture of me and my brother and our two sons. It's a it's a it's an it's an inside journey.

You

probably get this all the time. Why? You ever accidentally call one twin the other's name? You say, like, hi wife or whatever your wife's name is.

My wife

but she says, love not your wife.

My wife's name isn't wife.

I know. I didn't wanna sub in a fake name and offend you.

Why would it

well, if I picked a certain race that you dislike. I don't know what

you like.

That's don't put that on me, sir.

I don't know what you

like. It's just So this this picture, it's just like an inside joke. It's kind of a funny gift where they're expecting a picture of me with the me and then with our with our wives because it's their daughters.

But it's just us with our kids, and it's just I need to engrave on the bottom. C? Question mark?

Mhmm.

S e a or s e e.

S e e. Okay. Question mark.

Don't look at me like that's a weird question. Your thing is weird and I'm trying to accommodate you.

Well, I mean, there's no water involved. It's just Okay.

S e e and the

cEO and

the kid. And it's like, see, we're having more fun. We wish we married our kids. Mhmm. It's a kid. Yeah. Like, this is what it would look like to see when my brother married our kids

instead of these It's like

unnamed ethnicity twins? No.

It's the the the joke is that they're not in the picture. Uh-huh. That our wives aren't in the picture.

Because you wanna marry the kids?

No. No.

But I'll just do it. The joke's unclear to me, but do.

Well, listen to I

like to understand the joke. Otherwise, we have miscommunications.

We our wives have the same memories.

Guy told me I have breathed our relationship. And I just can't stop thinking about it. I just don't want that to happen again if you

Listen, our wives have the same parents. Okay? And so we're giving them a picture that is just the parts of the family that they are not related to. They're related to their kids. Okay. You know what?

and me.

Shoot your

butt. Okay. You know, buddy. I don't think you had a rough sale before. I think you're impossible

to No.

I got you. I got you. I got you.

No. No. No. I think possible to deal with. I don't wanna deal

with this. Give us five stars, Danielle,

please. Uh-huh. After this interaction, no.

Let me You're trying

to make me explain

to you in side, Joe, with my family.

I'll do a really fast half price. I'll do a really fast half price.

Fast and half price. Fast and cheap are two things you can't get at the same time, buddy.

Absolutely. You can. It's that you can't get good it good fast and cheap.

Okay. So you're saying

to me. That's the

same. Good fast cheap.

Pick two out of three. I'll I'll give you good fast and cheap. If it's bad, I'll eat the cost.

Okay. Fine.

Alright. Okay.

So you

want me to engrave C on this

yes see question.

--

Great. Go down to if you take a right we got the the pretzel place, you get a lemonade or whatever? The food court. Yes. Go left, we got, you know, the Macy's and stuff like that. Wherever you wanna go?

The

rest of them all.

Yes. Yeah. Walk around, come back in five. I'll have this right.

Okay. Great. Thank you so much. Alright.

Claude, sorry. I've been in the back. Our Yelp is horrible.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

I was just researching our Yelp reviews are horrible. What's going on out front?

I'm going to take the blame on this one. Really? Yeah. I think I'm having a tough day with the customers. I think I am trying to meet them more than halfway.

Well, these aren't even all just brand new reviews. This has been for the last month. We've been getting absolutely thrash.

Alright. Well, Dante

it's mostly demeanor. Demeanor? Yeah. They said your demeanor

--

i know.

is mean.

--

I'm not trying to be. I love this job.

Okay.

I I'm sorry, let look, maybe I can watch you do one because I feel like I think I'm doing it right and it just not working.

Well, I kinda hired you because you said you were such a people person. You know, I don't really do well with people. I get so nervous.

Well, maybe together we're one whole person. Okay. And maybe we can Yeah.

I could think of it that way.

One. Okay.

Hey. How do you like the Gandhi piece?

How did I like it? I like it.

I know. You love I thought we both thought it was incredible. Was the customer satisfied?

I really don't wanna talk about it right now. It didn't go well.

Okay. It

didn't go well. The piece still here.

If you know anybody that wants a thing that says in loving memory of Gandhi. No, it says Gandhi. With the picture of Gandhi with someone's grandpa in his stomach.

Okay.

Is it right here? Yeah. Gandhi.

That's the one. It's It looks

really good. Activate. Yeah. I just picked up the little sheath.

It looks really good.

It looks really good. You did an amazing job on obviously, your craftsmanship is a one. Let's see if we can just oh, hello.

Hi. Hi. Yeah. I'm just here to pick up the state championship plaque for the lunchroom

at school.

You got it?

We have that right here, sir. Let me just run to the back and grab it. This was a big piece.

Yes. Big piece, state champions,

all the

all the baseball players on the plaque, forever.

You need help back there, Dante? No.

I got it. I got any

dante's helped a couple of years.

Twenty one Gaters The Gaters one. Yep. Okay.

Got it. I don't know if you'll

need more info. Oh, you need Or no. It's the one for the Gaters, guys.

Yeah. We only have one Gaters one.

Oh, so it's got a little it's got a little piece of silk over it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So how would you like it revealed?

I guess just pull it off. It seems like you wanna pull it fast. You got your arm I'd like to

deal with a little bit of Elan, a little bit of flair. Okay.

Oh, yeah. I guess let's take a look at it.

This is

one of our bigger commissions of the month. Thank you a lot

of baseball players. Absolutely. Thank you. I mean, it's not me. The school was paying for it. They're very happy that

well, we're happy that you chose that time.

We're happy

yeah. That's Absolutely. That's a four five in a row. Right?

Yes. Claud's gold store.

Alright. Here we go.

Gondi. What the hell?

So What?

I I I'm hearing some disappointment or confusion. And maybe I just wanted

it's for the Gaters. Yeah. Well Yeah. I I said I wanted a gay girl

Why is this big big man on it?

in here.

What's that?

This man with his shirt off.

Well, it's not just any man.

Who is this?

It's a great man. Ghandi.

You're a

good friend. Okay. Okay. Now I see. That's Ghandi.

Is this not what you asked four.

And a bunch of baseball players in his tummy?

He's finally had forty players.

He finally had that big meal he was asking for.

Why is he eating them?

Because he's so starving with all the injustice.

I do see a plate that it seems as if the baseball players were on and then a plate that you would put, like, the shells of a crab

--

got it.

--

and and there's a bunch of uniforms. So he peeled the players.

Peel the players, like, And do maybe do you see that he The little cracker.

Yeah. Yeah. In the butter.

Yeah. Okay. So you see what You see what we're kinda going for.

No way.

So we are all on the same page. That's right. And this is Gandhi

god. Eating players as if they were crab. You got it. I hate this.

Well, no. Like, Gator.

The school is gonna hate this.

Well, this is what you put in your email. Was it not? No. Oh, well, Claude. That's my fault. It's

a two thousand twenty one Gaters state championship.

I thought there was an issue. With autocorrect. That Gandhi is being autocorrect into stuff like Gandhi, Gaters.

There's a bunch of Gandhi stuff back.

It is actually And

thank you.

I thought they're a bit I thought I my autocorrect is having an issue. I think here's my lesson. I need to send a confirmation of exactly what people want.

That's really good, Claude.

That's what I'm learning here, sir.

is this computer? The I

What

gond? What is this?

Gond. So they took the I at the end of Gandhi, moved it to the beginning. Is it like

and it says

all well, it's all sorts of stuff.

It corrects any letter. Any word with the letter g to Gandhi? You got it. And is this a

piece that you made, Claude?

The computer? Yeah. No. I got this.

Okay. Alright. Can you read me one

of your emails? You're

so funny. Or more from.

You know what? It's just every

g is gone, dude.

Hey, Judy, Mel. So let me just open my condi mail here.

Why is it got oh, Gmail. I think that's g.

Well, sir, we can tell. Can I call you coach? We can tell each that you are dissatisfied.

I'm gonna by throwing my hat on the ground.

No. No. No. No. No. Please. No.

That's why you read the email. The ground is

what? Okay.

Dear Claude.

struggle being your gombe friends. I guess

It has been such a

good. Oh, this is from your girlfriend. Oh, his girlfriend calls him a good friend.

Alright. Go ahead.

Where do I even start? Sexualually you have not been able to reach my Gandhi spot.

Okay. I think we could have a computer work. I think we could have a computer work. Why don't we deal with the customer?

The first sentence. What? I'm sorry, guys, I'm getting some pretty bad news here.

Do you need us to leave your store?

No. I just opened the first one I

got. Come

on. Come on.

Hey. I'm just back. I'm I'm back here.

Just so you know about the sound of the bell ringing as them already have been coming in. You'd only need to invite them in once they've come in.

Oh, yeah. That's a good note. I understand.

Hey, we're always getting better.

Thank you, Clark.

What can I help you?

I'm I just I've I've walked around for a few minutes.

Oh, shit. Yeah. I got it. I'll be right back.

Okay. Gentlemen, we are offering a ten percent off because everything is accidentally gondy. No. So we're very sorry.

No. That's not enough all. I'm sorry. And I can't take this to school.

Oh, okay. This is no good.

But don't you think the school will think it's kind of a funny mix up? Maybe eleven percent off.

No. No. Eleven. That's not

it. How much percent off would make this work in the f two?

I do not want.

Hello, my friends.

Maybe we could find a non violent solution to the problem here.

Oh, no.

I do not like this out rude.

Rudimentary costume and emphasis on rude.

I'm reporting you all to the Better Business Bureau.

Why? The business works. This work? Oh my god. It looks like he just got

an email for the better

well, I I gotta deal up with the this What is this contraption that this you called it an email? You're on the clock, Claude.

You can't just do Performance art or whatever this is. Our Yelp is getting crushed. We have never stopped

email. Let him read email.

Alright. For for science, sake. Go ahead and read one more email.

Is this for the Better Business

bureau? Yes. You're clogged.

Your business is not very gombe.

Tell me there's more.

First of all, you ask every customer where their Gandhi spot is.

How do they know?

Wow. This is big I'm sorry. I'm barely understanding how to open these things, let alone read them how did someone get these words onto this magic wand?

You can't charm us again by going back into your character performance, listen.

I'm leaving and I'm giving you a terrible yelp review.

Sir, sir. Why don't you take the piece?

We win a lot of state championships at the school. We're gonna Take

the piece gratis.

I don't want it.

Or should I say, Gandhii?

Please take the piece gone, dude. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I threw this one together for you too. Gandhi.

Yeah. There's not even an engraving on this.

But it sounded Did you hear it?

Yeah. It did sound what what how did you think it sounded?

It sounded like it said, Gandhi, it's it's not even you didn't do the thing that I wanted to do.

I thought we misunderstood each other.

What? We should've followed up when you walked to the What's the

call Please

wait you go.

I went to the Big Chick

fil A cup, so I think we know it.

Not embarrassed about walking around with that at all.

You gotta eat that fast over the place.

You don't do the play hates the gondis. Right? Gandhii. We gotta turn off some of these pieces.

Some of these pieces, we need to turn them off

Yeah.

for them. Turn off switch.

Turn it on.

Gundi. Gundi. Gundi. Gundi. Gundi. Gundi.

Gundi. Oh, I heard of Gundi.

Wait. That's for me.