dear Lord, me, Quentin, rush. I just wanna get out in front of something real quick in the prayer that

i was seen again with an illegitimate, illegitimate, illegitimate, Yep. A little legitimate. Yep. Yeah. Take

we all know the story.

It's it's illegitimate. But it's also little. A copy of the DVD Soul.

Tiny soul.

Yeah. A little, it's almost like an SD card, Lord. And it's ill, little, legitimate, and it's of soul and you pop it in to an old macintyre that's got the s d card slot in it. Anyway, I was quickly arrested again for having Unlasset's copies of Pixar movies, Lord,

lord, are a lot of people buying these at truck stop bathrooms? Is that where people know those to be sold? Lord. Lord.

Lord.

I don't know.

Why is the demand for DVD so high that you caused the temptation of me to get old fitted sheet. Fill it with DVDs so I can quickly scoop them up if the authorities show up and run off with them like an old school train Hobo Lord. I do wanna thank my wife for standing by me during my second brush with the law and I will be back this coming Sunday for our sermon.

Great. Thanks to

the law offices of Shimona, he

we've all used a more Best, Lord.

Shamona. Shamona.

Shamona, he, he, he, and Oh. One of the best firms of all time. I was represented, of course, by all who did a great job getting me off scot free. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord. Amen you,

lord. Amen. Amen.

I mean, not amen, but but would continue and all.

Praise.

Lord, I come to you, a changed man today, changed from The interlocking grip, to an overhand grip, Lord, you changed my swing and I appreciate it, Lord. No metaphor. I was having trouble hooking right off the tee. Of course, I'm using a big three to four inch tee, getting the ball nice and lofted in the air cranking up the big bertha, taking a couple of overhead swings and Lord. I just couldn't get around on it, with the interlocking grip. So I changed it up, my hands are now independent like Jesus from his mother, Lord. We thank you Lord for the straight shots. The mid range game improvement, and of course, Lord, I'm praying. Then you come down and help me with my putting soon. But hey, not asking for a miracle. Ain't that right. Putting takes a man's work. And Lord, I thank you every day for giving me the feed I walk on to play the course.

Come on.

Amen, Lord. Thank you.

Amen, man. Thank you. It's not over there. Amen.

Lord, it's me, butch Davidson.

Amen.

Here to just Thank you. Keep going. Hang on. No. Keep going. Just to thank you, Lord, for making sure those batteries in the carbon monoxide detector in my home We're not dead, Lord. As you know, in the previous week, I woke up one morning to my home being excavated. And buried Lord, under fresh dirt. As you as as folks here know, you know, I was living in the shell of a home, sleeping on the dirt. Amen. Amen. And and unbeknownst to me.

Execated and buried.

Yeah. Well,

they were

excavating around and dumping the dirt on top of the house. Unbeknownst. And unbeknownst to me and the bulldozers and tractors were shooting their fumes straight into my bedroom, Lord, and straight pipe. Thank thankfully Lord, before it was too late, I was awoken by the sound of the alarm and I drove it out

of bed. The loud tractors didn't wake you up?

No, lord. Low hums, low hums are what puts me to sleep, Lord, and the screeching sounds of my alarm clock are what what we need.

You got your noise your noise machine is set detractor. Right?

Yes. Yes.

It's a mixture of tractors, eighteen wheelers, and the sound of rocks being dragged in a net across a pavement. And lord -- Wow.

--

i thought you preferred. Garbage truck picking up the big bin in an alley.

I do. Well, I put that on it's not as consistent. It's a sort of interval. Mhmm. And I set that on a thirty second interval, so every thirty seconds Lord on my noisemaker, you hear the sound of a garbage truck picking up the big Ben. But the Lord, what I'd like to thank today is that that you woke me with the sound of my carbon monoxide detectors and I was able to to get out of my home. Before it was completely buried in sand, and church. And I just want you to know Lord that just because Bush Davidson Home Church has been completely buried and turned into what I'm assuming is going to be some sort of monument to someone or something. I will not stop preaching the word Lord. Your your name will never leave my mouth Lord until the day that I die. Amen.

Amen, but keep going.

Amen. We're still moving on. Lord,

maisha Epstein Christians for Jesus I wanna thank you for gracing me with the power of eloquence on my appearance of good morning America's, cooking segment where I made a Christian meal.

Yum lord.

Yum. Yum. Yum. And given me the strength to deal with Hoda's incredibly rude observations that my Christian soup with the eggs of the Easter bunny. Looks like matzo ball soup.

The Lord doesn't give you a challenge. You cannot overcome.

Lord, thank you for sending me the devil in Hoda caught Be's body. I vanquished my enemies. You killed Hoda. And lord, please give me the strength in court to argue that Hoda caught me was the devil coming for my new baby that you had impregnated with with Using your seed on what we now know is a filthy pigeon. It came to me.

Yes. Lord.

And And wood and could. Me.

Mostly could, Lord.

Into pregnancy. Rest in peace, Odicati, I didn't want the devil to take form in your body, but so be it.

Well, you had great representation in court.

And, Lord, thank you to He He for the wonderful opening arguments. Everybody was

animeated, Lord.

Your lawyer slayed at the opening arguments.

And, Lord, I wanna thank you for bringing to court that day. A wonderful courtroom artist to show he he on top of that table throwing his jacket back behind him as he did my opening arguments.

And your lawyer was arrested, right? Because he incriminated himself. He said he was a smooth criminal.

Lord, I wanna tell you I don't know what you did with that challenge. And why my lawyer started talking about how a baby was not his own?

He hee, Lord.

But I do wanna give you a hee, thank you, Lord. And

and to hee, Lord.

Wow. Amen. Lord, let's go ahead and do it.

It's powerful this morning. It's powerful.

Let's go

ahead and do it. Wow.

Let's do it.

Mass is out, and the call feels on. I got a couple

sins on my chest that I got to

get it on. Brandness

some grace.

And call me a cup of that, Joe.

Welcome to the Preaches now. Maybe let's

folks, thank you so much for tuning in to episode two of the Preacher's lounge. Story of Jesus, a four part mister, mini series. Of course, episode one focused on the birth. Of our lord Jesus Christ, and today, me and my three co hosts are here to talk to you. About the life of the man. Jesus Christ.

I've worked for years of brilliance.

That's true. Thirty three years. A lot of that time undocumented. We got a little bit of it from our guest last week, but We're gonna focus on that today, but I, of course, am butch Davidson from Davidson Home Church. If y'all listened a little bit to the the prayer there. You got a little taste of what's going on with the church. I apologize to everybody who showed up to Sunday services. This past week and noticed that the home was now what could only be described as a mound of dirt Form dirt, beautifully formed dirt. It looks like they are doing some landscaping. I still got obviously, got a lot of questions for the city about how something like this could happen without my knowledge.

Which I will say, you have really persevered through a tough thing. I mean, your sermon on the mound of dirt was a big, big success.

Thank you so much.

Your sermon on the mount was gorgeous.

And when you almost killed your son, it was really a lot like Abraham.

Well, you know, I've always been one to to I've always been one to say that that the trials that God puts before you shouldn't be shied away from. And so I'm taking this as as an opportunity to test myself.

And and and

show you right

on freewheeler with your son in front of you, no helmets, either enough,

and

to and to flip it.

God didn't necessarily tell me exact specifics, but

and they had four wheelers that day, but you wanted the challenge?

Well, you know, four wheelers were about seventy five dollars more a day.

And you wanted to just only take it in a

circle over and over again?

Well, no. The right back tire was a little flat, and the steering was a little bit sorta stuck And so

we saw

the ditch. What was the price? You saw the ditch.

Mhmm. And you said, give me the one with the throttle stuck. Right?

Well, I'll say this.

I like a challenge.

I said again, I said, you know, if if this is a challenge, would you rather be the guy who beat who got beat by the best player or the guy who got beat by the worst player? And I say, no to both those things. I wanna be the guy that beats the best player. And in this case, that metaphor that saying is kind of reversed where it was I wanted to overcome the absolute most difficulties to prove myself

--

mhmm.

--

and to prove that I'm the the type of person who cannot be knocked down. And, you know, I was. Well,

you did

it that day. I'll tell you.

And indeed, I I did not prove it that day. I was knocked down. Knocked down or or thrown down. I think thrown down is probably a more apt description. Toppled. My son is doing fine. Thank

you all so much for putting

him in your prayers.

Yes. Yeah. We missed your son. My apologies. I meant to put him in my first.

No. It's okay. It's okay.

My son's doing fine.

Your son.

Your son's in crit. Crit condition, and we said nothing.

I had I had already put him in a solo prayer

that's right. That's right. I did not. But it's not in a solo prayer before them.

So in a solo prayer. And so I've always prayed about

we focus energy every course. I do appreciate that. But, no, he's doing fine. They're saying that his right leg

will kill you. From three wheeler rash? He's got three wheeler rash.

Right? It's

got three wheeler rash.

And tire butt?

As far as I know -- Tire butt.

--

tire butt. The tire but the doctors keep saying they can't diagnose it.

That was misdiagnosed.

That was misdiagnosed. But I'll tell you this. Good.

Did you It's a classic opinion on the tire but?

Don't need a I don't need a second from you guys. It's a classic case of tire, but I'm I don't need a doctor to tell me. When I when I lifted my son off the ground after the the three wheeler toppled over. I knew four shore, three wheeler rash, and a and a bad case. I forgot what it was. It's kind of hard.

Of tire butts.

Tire, butts. He's got through the rest. He got tires,

butts. Yeah. He's got tire butts. I think

i think

that hawk hospital is hosing you. I don't think that's critical condition. I think you gotta take them to a a little more of a how should I say this? An above ground hospital. And what's a little more known. Uh-huh. And, you know, we'll we'll tithe for you and your son happily at Christians.

Yes. We're gonna send the plate we're gonna send the plate around town. Nah. I appreciate I

do appreciate that, fellas. And and it's it's a plate

has gotta start getting outside of the church. We've been pushing this plate. The plate just goes around inside the church, and I want it to get out on the street corners. It needs to be passed.

Well, that's why I think we should I'm still pushing that all of our churches adopt the digital plate. The play that you can donate to via

cell phone Paypal. Oh, it's like a Paypal of Venmo thing.

Well, we've been doing Ven Lord at my church.

How's that work?

Ven Lord is great. It's it's Oh,

i've I've been doing god mode.

God mode. God mode's good too. What I'm like about Venmo, Ben Lord. Yes. Is Yes. You get to write a little they have more emojis, I would say

--

mhmm. -- than Godmo. No. Or funny little emojis that you're tithing for. So if we're tithing for your son, they they probably have a three wheeler emoji on there, and then also they have a rash emoji. I know that for a fact.

And do they have muffler throat? Emojis because we know that happened too.

Yeah. A burn. A burn right here.

I don't know if

they're in the forefront.

I have tried. Of course, I passed the plate for a while, and I had a lot of good luck. We've been passing the platter around. And it holds a little more

--

it's smart.

--

it's bigger, it's silver.

I was gonna say, thank for that detail. I wasn't exactly sure because, like, I've always thought my tithing plate was pretty big, but I don't know if it transitioned into platter. So I wasn't sure if I'd already maybe been passing the platter and not knowing it because our Our timing plate's been pretty big for a while.

Everything we're speaking of, religion, and all that. Today's episode, we are doing the life of Christ

--

right. -- for the Easter story. And Christ lived an imperfect life as well, you know. And I I think that, you know, a lot of times when you try to think about Christ you think about him as the son of God. But that's so much to put on a man. And I and our the Christians for Jesus we like to talk about imperfections in Christ because that means there are imperfections in us, and we can learn to love them rather than to feel ashamed of them.

Right. Well, people don't well, they don't talk about because all you hear about is the work Jesus did and

--

the miracle.

--

the care that he did for everybody. Yes. But Jesus took a day off. Jesus played

now. Absolutely.

Jesus played nine.

Of course, this is your eighth day Adventist church kind of preaching as as that Jesus would take half of Sunday and half of Monday to play golf.

Yeah. He played nine on two consecutive days twice each. That's thirty six holes in

and he would never put it out. He always would have like a five footer left and he would just pick it up, but nobody would be like, that's actually a tough putt. Jesus, and and they'd give it to him. They'd give it to him.

That's right.

Doruba. And he would always

go ahead.

He would always shoot eighties, which was par back then. A lot of people won't know that.

Maybe eighties. She marshed. Well, that's why they say BC and AD. Is that's BC -- Right.

--

and then when they were shooting from the eighties.

And number eighty. Right. Yes. Exactly.

Well, it

was before

car. They had they had misspelled par. And they they but they stuck with it.

It was already written in the book. So that was Before par eighty. Exactly. Exactly.

Yeah. I think, you know, I think a lot of people are sort of self judgmental We judge ourselves because we do not see the lord in ourselves, which is a falsehood.

And yeah.

I think that's great. Not point. Christ was a thief. Everybody knows this. It was cut out of the bible. Christ had sticky fingers. He would never leave a party without somebody's bowl or, you know, even in got all the wine. Exactly

exactly exactly Oh, I I turned water into this, and it was like, okay.

Where did you get the bottle, Jesus? I I hear you on the water to the wine. Where's the bottle from?

Yeah.

So, you know, we're not just here to we're not just here to to fluff up a a famous person.

We're here

to No. This is a takedown episode.

About the man. Well, this is a takedown Well, this is all about

and let

and it is not just the end.

I was gonna say, let's get something clear here. This when we say take down, we're not saying we're not saying that Jesus Christ was a bad man. We are saying that every human being is many things. Every human being is as good as they are bad, And when we try to strive towards a in a an impossible standard set by what is sort of laid out in in the books of the bible, It's it's difficult and we judge ourselves so harshly that we can't even live our our normal lives because we're trying to live in in in Christ's image without even really knowing what Christ's image really is.

Rob. And, obviously, I've discussed a lot about How actually Jesus' son Christmeer River was anti feminist. Right. We all know that he put that song out after a breakup. And -- Yes.

--

it ended up being Judas' wife. And that's what Judith was so pissed off about in the future not to get ahead of ourselves, but

foil over We

should talk today a little bit about Jesus' dating record. Because that is one part of his laugh that I think people just sort of gloss over. They think he's single, took care of all the sins. You don't want to hear about Jesus' date around playing the field.

There's a reason -- No.

--

we we lose track of them for a while. You know? There's reasons from fourteen to thirty two, we don't know anything that's going on in Jesus' life, because Jesus was, as they say today, play in the field.

Jesus was very weird to people when he was the when he was the governor of Arkansas. Jesus was so weird for Wood, of course. Am I right? Arkansas. Right. Yeah. Well, of course, of course, of course. It was pre Arkansas. And we I'm not talking long before. I'm talking about our Kens.

Yes.

The the province of Arkansas outside of Damascus. Yeah. But he was weird. Of course,

jesus was the governor, and he was a little weird. The time. And a lot of people say it's a different time, but I disagree because people at the time said, you know, look, Jesus is a serial dater, but he's not doing anything like wrong per se, he's staying at that party a little too late, you know. And it's like, alright, Jesus. Let's go nobody wants to leave with you here.

Why are all of Jesus's best friend so drunk? But Jesus isn't getting drunk.

Yeah. Jesus, you're too successful to be here this late. What are you doing? What are

you doing? Also also a a little known

fact about Jesus that also was the first person in town to get the new souped up buggy. He

--

right. -- you

know, he a lot

of people only know about him walking around forget this. No. Jesus in when he turned about nineteen, he he got he was pretty famously in the at the time, bought the the baddest

--

a hot rod, really?

--

a hot rod for the beautiful buddy.

You

could call it. Yeah. It was it was a hot rod -- Yes.

--

of sorts.

Most definitely was a hot rod. Yeah. He definitely Jesus had hundreds of cars. He had hundreds of cars. That he've kept in a hanger above above He had so many cars.

And that you know, and so Jesus is hanging out with car guys. And it's, like, god, Jesus. These guys are so weird.

Well, this is this is where it comes into that we talk about Jesus sort of as a symbol. You know? Right. Right. Jesus, of every era. Of course, the one we're talking about, you know, BC, you know, the Jesus.

You know?

But then

the Jesus.

Yeah. Before par. Of course. But now, you you know, in the more current times, you got guys like Jay Leno. You know what I mean? And, you know, you got guys like you know, who are the other Christ's like figures we always know about.

I mean, Lena really blamed my brain once I heard his day.

Yeah. But there

you go, I got some the original car guy.

Yeah. And you got these

false prophets. Well, Jesus prophets,

you got these false prophets like Jerry Seinfeld. Who are sort of coming in and sort of dressing up like a Jesus type figure who loves cars. But the but it's just it's it's not the same thing. You know?

Right. Right.

So

it's tough. And that it's hard for people. And I'm sure people had a tough time at the time. They'd see Jesus, and they'd see other people, and they'd be like, who Who who should I be following? Whose examples should I should I be following? And Jesus was just sort of the most prominent figure at the time. Right.

And Jesus would of course show Yeah.

Go ahead.

Jesus would show up in a huge buggy that had like a twelve cylinder diesel, and and, you know, make people look at him and they turn heads, of course, riding around outside of Bethlehem. What was that town? Was it Bur Burbank? Detroit

de Trifelim?

Do Truzalom.

The Truzalom.

The Truzalom yes. Of course.

And I think circling back we are not our the worst thing we've ever done in our

lives. Mhmm.

We are not defined by our imperfections. We are defined by our wholeness. Well, nature. You know, let's say, for example, somebody flips out on the today show when their body of Christ is called isn't that just Matzah?

And -- Right.

--

and you know, goes outside and rips up a little kid's sign and gets into it with Tom Holland And, you know Spider me. Yes. Spider Spiderman himself, you know. Spiderman. That is just one imperfection in a man's life. He should not be judged for it. And if he eventually does

threw El Roker out the window. Right?

Look, I was talking about a hypothetical man, but let's say this hypothetical man does launch AlRoker out the window? And you know where I'm going with this? Where in the world is Al Roker right now? Glendale Adventist.

Hospital, of course.

Absolutely. And I am so sorry to mister Roker. I honestly didn't think you would go through the window. You are more angular than I thought. And that was not the intended effect. It was meant to be more of a Windows slap. But what I'm saying is we all have our own imperfections. Right. Whether it be selling, little SD cards with various Pixar movies or whether it

be being unable to just

apologize to in and to our wife and sons that we can move back in with them or whether it be making up a new holiday that we can golf instead of preach at our church, you know. We are more than one thing. Would you tell us agree with that?

Well, Wednesday this year. Second Sabbath, every Wednesday, you go to the course and you observe.

And that's, you know, that's your own way of believing and preaching, and that's what Jesus did. And I I would like to take a quick break and end this break for our entire audience to think of all the ways, they are imperfect and write them down -- Yeah.

--

and mail them to us.

How do you live like Christ and not just the good ones?

That's right. How is Christ in you? And I don't mean literally like the way he's in me because He put his seat on it. Now what we know is a filthy pigeon that would man, we may love. I'm talking about how is Christ metaphorically.

Right. That's a great a great project, Moish. I think we should all maybe take take part in that and and really think on it.

Go ahead and send that to

don't mail it to me.

Junior care of the teach the Preacher's lounge.

Yes. Send it to that. Don't send it to me because people are going through my mail currently. So we don't want them looking at that. I do not have access to my own mail.

There's And that are those people the FBI?

Yes. Yes. The FBI and that man who runs Pixar?

Oh. Pixon Higer?

He had a weird little office. Lasseter. Oh. Lasseter is

at my mailbox.

Well, why don't we take why don't we take a little amen break drain the lizards, do what we gotta do, and we'll come back.

Alright. Right.

B r b, Christ.

Great.

Showah. Hello, everybody. And a very Christian Hello to you all. And Welcome back from your break. We hope you all meditated in whatever way that you do on how you are Christlike by doing bad things. And we would like to, as we're doing with every episode here, bring on a guest who's an expert in the specific thing that we're discussing. Today, it's the life of Christ. And our guest is the historian, Huster Blunch. Hi, Huster.

Hello?

Hello, Oscar.

Wow. We're well, I'm so happy to be here because I love to speak on this. I love to speak on topic of Jesus because Jesus was The number one player.

Yes. Yes. We have all seen you speedcuster. About Jesus being the number one playo. We mentioned it a little bit in the first half, but Jesus would ghost would ghost people all the time. Mhmm. Jesus was a bad boy. Yeah. Jesus didn't settle down.

Couldn't have kept him. Couldn't capture him if you want to. Lot of the

but this

is sort of the the unheard side of Jesus now because everybody hears about all the positive. Right?

Totally. So what I've been doing is for a long time, I've been researching and historian about Jesus is life and his friendships.

Just to clarify, I don't know if it's a dialect thing, but you said you've been researching and historian.

She's been he's been historian. So that's a I've

been researching. I've been historian.

Now his story Yeah.

His story history ing. It's so it's experiencing history.

I under Now do you understand, Moish?

Yes. I do. Thank you, Huster. Huster or Huster? I'm sorry. Huster.

My name's Huster. What's your husband?

And, boy,

what's you

said it a moment ago. Yes.

Guys, let's not be contentious here. I know you guys have a past. A past

needs.

Let's not

now, Huster, what are your big points in your speeches or at least early on when we were watching you is the twelve disciples were not actually Jesus' core group.

No. He didn't really chill with them that much.

Right.

He actually chilled with a lot of other people.

Yes. Specifically, a man named Specifically, specifically, a a man named Bruce,

so Bruce is his number one bitch. Now Bruce had a lot to say and do Bruce now, Bruce was known as having a he had horse and buggy before it was a thing.

Right. There were horses and there were buggies, but no one had thought to combine them like Bruce.

And then everyone wanted his help when they had to move.

Right. So Bruce was constantly moving people.

But that's how he met Jesus.

Right.

I wanted to get more of a good friend because Jesus, Everest, really bonded because they both had been scorned by a lever. Right.

Same same lever?

Yeah.

And you have detailed this in a a historical document that you discovered called the play as letters, which were letters back and forth between Bruce and Jesus and also the and lover sometimes.

The playlist letters is available for download online for free.

You read it. Right? You you did a reading of it.

I did a reading on oat able dot com.

And is that different from the one we're familiar with, Audible?

Well, Yeah. It's Audible. It's o a t a b l e.

And it's sponsored by it's like Quakers. Right? It's usually it's books buy and for Quakers mostly.

Well, quakers like it, but it's not really sponsored. No money.

Which is how we know it must be true when you're doing it for the love it because otherwise why would you print it?

That's exactly what it did. Now, when I wrote the book, well, I lost a lot of friends in my life because

--

right.

--

i was so busy. When you're really focused on it, it taught me you really like people sometimes fall away.

Right.

Sorry, Esther. That's would you like to go into detail on that? Would you like to discuss that, or is that kind of personal and a

private wasn't the context or or the content of the book? It was just that she were busy.

Were you?

Well, wasn't you writing a book about Jesus writing letters back and forth a guy named Bruce about a supporting buffer.

And most of your friends were probably religious or it was just about you not seeing them?

No. Good. I couldn't I wouldn't I couldn't go to work.

Oh, My

work friends.

Yeah. Most of your friends at the time were all sort of work acquaintances.

I work at the grocery store.

Good. Very good. That's my

it's really generic. It's a very it's very good.

It's very

good job, Oscar. Very good job.

So, Oscar go ahead. Go ahead.

Boys, boys.

We can't get enough for you, Esther.

Typical.

Esther,

a

lot of people are, I would say, we we've talked to a lot of religious stories on the podcast. And a lot of people I I noticed their obsessions usually become about something that they wish they were a little, you know, or or kind of fantasy obsessions or lit you can live a lot another life through Jesus and his life as a player. How is your dating life, Huster Blanche?

Yes, Huster, are you a player?

I didn't wanna mention, but you have you have been checking your phone

pretty consistently

since you sat down.

You must be a player you work at the grocery store.

Here I actually do a little stand up. You know, you're a player

no.

Well, this this ain't far from Jesus. Know, Jesus was an orator himself.

That's why I got inspired. You know you're a player if you work at the grocery store, you know you're a player if your friends don't like you anymore. Because you're so successful with your book. You know your player if you've been dating. If you've been dating, Lots of people. At the same time, you can't keep them straight, and you gotta put in an emoji that looks like them.

Well, with a bit of a doctor Seuss vibe, and then we sort of crunch tool. And

then yeah.

And it's sort of, honestly, there weren't necessarily punch lines that sort of just felt like sentences that were true about you.

But then but then he described Playa. Right? What a Playa is.

Well, I did a caustic poem. Play. Pamp. Pamp. Ladies, love, him. Always, six. Why not? Anytime.

Right. Wow. Wow. That is that is something else.

Ladies love him. Always sex. Why not anytime? I was I was very curious if you were gonna go with the which spelling of player if you were gonna end it with the, like, you used one last letter, let's say, you used the a at the end, which is not But

i changed the the last letter to be an a.

That's right. Right.

Very good, hustler. Very good.

Very good.

My friend,

amanda hasn't called me back in the loan time.

Oh, really? Were

she didn't like that my book got downloaded twelve times.

Oh, she was jealous of your success.

Let's talk about Bruce.

Right? Yes. We should

get back to you. Bruce and Jesus. So that Bruce became good friends with Jesus because he moved him. And Jesus had a big couch, and Bruce helped him move that couch. And then they started dating the same woman. Which was not Mary. It was a

well, that's just mommy. Right. There

was also Mary Magdalen.

They're very magdalen.

Oh, yeah. The hoe.

Wow.

The hoe. Dylan the

hoe -- No.

I I

--

which is one of your books.

This is a little shocking, I will say, having Huster on. You know? We're not used to someone who speaks so freely.

And we're

not sure to go anymore. Anymore. A perfect example of how Jesus lived. Some good, some bad.

Right. Right.

What are you saying that I'm delivering some bad?

Well, there's just a little less information. I think, then we would plan

so the life the life you're describing from Jesus.

What?

The life you're describing for Jesus. I I would say even though it sounds similar to your life isn't what others would describe as the perfect life or what the son of God lived. And right with a guy with a essentially a truck who moves things dating. Living a a real sex style life.

But I didn't even describe his apartment.

Jesus says, oh, we would love to hear about because you excavated Jesus' apartment.

Yes. You dug that shit up

on a mission trip. Right? Watching him

out there. Watching him out there. Come on now quick.

I'm sorry, sorry.

Weep. When I

was We met we missed it. Thanks, Marsha.

When I was thirty three, I went on a mission trip to

--

right.

--

to to get the apartment out. Mhmm. Right.

And That's

the right age. That's the right age.

So that's a piece of

that. Ready before you go on your mission trip. You wanna make you wanna get some years under your belt. Start you half of your life. That's what I always say.

So you went there specifically to dig Jesus' apartment up and you found it, which is crazy.

And it was in it was in Valley Village right outside Damascus.

Yeah. Wall to walk, cream carpeting.

Wow.

Well, we're there for you that. Yeah. Vertical blind.

Of course. Of course.

A few of last

week's battle

in the department so far?

Spall balcony, but you could use it, but looks right into a neighbor's house. But Jesus was concerned with that because he was so kind. So he made friends with everyone in the complex. And he brought them treats and divine gifts.

Wow. Wow.

Like, Cracker Barrel gift card. Right. Divine.

Lot people don't covered strawberries handmade.

Now if I'm in that apartment complex, I get the cracker barrel gift cards and my neighbor gets the chocolate covered strawberry handmade. I'm feeling a little jilting. Because the nearest cracker barrel is about two thousand years away. And I know Jesus knows it's coming, but is it like a hand me down at a time? Or

jesus saves. Jesus saves. He's planning for the future.

He saves ahead. He drew it.

Well, yeah, that he gave it to him, and they said, what is this? And Jesus said, you're gonna hate it. Right?

He said, just know you just know you'll be the best part will be the rocking chair. Right.

It was very confused.

Where did he meet a his other best friend in his apartment? And you ready

with his other best friend, not Bruce.

Jesus had a roommate.

Jesus. Sure.

One of your books. Jesus had a roommate. And this roommate brought a lot of people over?

Yeah. He was always trying to have a big party, and he loved to have a dance party.

And Jesus said, no.

He was even though he's very forgiving, not much of a dance, sir. I don't think you've ever really seen Jesus dance.

He's at the most idiot. It was supposed to be

a phone.

We she he is always making fun of us for having not seen Jesus dance because apparently, you've you know that his steps.

Jesus invented the electric slide.

Well, that won't that checks out, doesn't it? That sure does check out.

Really scared because what's electric? And then he said

--

right.

--

it's electric. Do you do?

And people were so terrified that they would say, okay, boogie boogie when he would say it's electric. The And

he kept that in.

And he kept that in the song.

Yeah. He's very collaborative.

And then, obviously, the devil invented the boot scoot and boogie, trying

to compete. Of course.

And which I can not do that dance to save my life, but I'm not welcoming cowboy boy. So

jesus's roommate was named. Did you get that far in the book?

Yes. I wrote the whole book. Yes. I I I don't know how to say this politely, but it wasn't that hard to get that far in the book.

Yeah. I correct me if I'm wrong. I might have gotten a bootleg, but the version I saw was a single page PDF.

That did.

Yes. Yeah.

That's it.

Not so much a book as a single digital page.

It wasn't even a leaflet.

But did you print it out really small and make it into

a little a little book?

I did not. I I didn't you know, my eyesight's going, so I tried to keep the print as as big as possible.

That's not the first time you've bought a knockoff PDF, is it butch?

No. I mean, there's no way to verify PDFs. I was looking for a PDF of the instruction manual to the new TV that I bought in my place some time. And I accidentally got a knockoff PDF of the instruction manual of

right. You were you had a Sony and you you were trying to use a Visio manual.

Yeah. Yeah. It was it was cheaper TV, and all the buttons were different. I thought, you know, TVs or TVs.

It's a minor inconvenience. Yeah.

So I I'm surprised you didn't say the bigger one, which is when you were trying to fill out some tax forms, you filled out a ten ninety nine z z. Uh-huh.

Right. It was a ten ninety nine with a huge beard. Right?

Yeah. Yep.

Yes. And I'll

say one thing, your tax return have legs.

And I'll say this. One of the cool parts about that using that PDF was when you put in your gross income, it went, ho ho ho ho ho.

It made the noise. Exactly. It was a fun little time.

Well, that's a bootleg. Some bootlegs are better than the original.

Yeah. I think I got a bootleg because I I downloaded a a w two in it when I put in my gross income, it said,

yuck. Yes. That stuff. Sometimes somebody's income is so low. The accountant is disgusted, and it is a gross income. It's tough.

Forget sometimes that Spencer also sells joke stuff. You know, they sell the real forms, but they sell joke forms. Yeah.

You spend just where I get all my

stuff. Yeah.

Is that true?

Well, you have It's a joke.

Some of them some of them. They have not forced their license for taxes, but some of them are jokes.

Yeah. Most won't buy there.

You're saying my fake shit in a can is a joke.

Well, what what do you want it to be, I guess?

Because it works just right.

Your fake shit McCann works. So what what So what

do you want your fart machine to be? What is your fart machine, Oscar?

My fart machine what what is my fart machine?

Yeah. I said a joke.

I guess you just use it seriously.

My father, she is my doorbell.

Okay. Okay.

I taped up outside the door, and then when I hear, I know I got an Amazon.

I will say. That is the only person that comes to your door.

What a player.

Lester, you're doing. You are such a player. You're doing the

i gotta do the guy

every day. Of boycotting Amazon. Right?

I gave them more business to make up

for everyone else. I saw on Instagram and Twitter and everyone said don't order from them and I said, well, the hell isn't right. How are they gonna have a job? So I set up and I ordered a lot a lot of stuff that I didn't really need. Right.

Right. I did notice a lot of, like

damn, mustard. Damn. Is that wrong?

That is effed up.

Well, this is, you know,

this is just a classic another mistake. We all think we're walking the right path. But, of course, you goof. You order too much Amazons or you order conflicting designs for your little apartment. Yeah.

I'd like to ask you something something that you do that I think is a great service to the Christian community, is you help with the idea of what you call dating while Christian. And in your book, I'm not a player. I just sing a lot. It's it's kind of a dater's guide while still being true to Christ in the ways of Christ, which I found to be a very quick read. And

thank you.

And there was a lot of, you know, interesting stuff in there that I hadn't really sittered like your three rules of wooing a Christian lady, which was very fascinating.

Well, and I was so in that study, didn't historian on Jesus' friends. I also found out about his relationships and dating and I learned a lot to kinda put that into my book. Now, because if I wanted to share all the information. Mhmm. Now three what what was the list called?

It's not

three ways to To woo a Christian lay. Without sinning

is wooing. And so I know that Jesus part of what what you got into with those oh, were you gonna get into three rules? I interrupted you. Excuse me.

Sure. So the first rule is don't talk about the three rules

--

right.

--

to anyone. K. Critic.

Kinda fight

clubby. Kinda The second rule.

Yeah. Reministent for sure.

The second rule is, get up on that.

Get up on that ass.

That is Quentin. Quentin.

I'm sorry. Beep.

Get up on that ass. And the third rule is Always honk when you're horny and someone will come and knock in.

And have you found that rule to be true your experience.

Well, yes. Because even just yesterday, I put it into practice because Well, I practice what I preach, of course. I literally was driving, and

good. Good job.

Good. Good. You I'm glad you got your I'm glad you got your license back.

I got it back because I had to well, I had to get to court, but Anyway, I was driving and I saw this adorable little thing. Anne.

A lot of us.

Oh, I get it.

And we're talking about mistakes today. It's okay.

No judgment. We're not judging.

The Lord of that.

It's all a

pretty little thing. It's all you're driving.

Oh, she was so cute, little tight little ass. And she was stepping on

the corner. What? Why didn't you just get up on that ass? And why did you move on to honk if you're horny? That's all. That's just a question.

Get about that. This is the world when you're not in the car.

Okay. Okay. Hulk

of your awnie is the rule when you're in the car.

Got it.

So I

should probably have

two of history rules require cars.

Now my big question is, what happened when you honked? Right. So

she was waiting for the walk signal, and that was at the red light. So she was gonna go walk right in front

of me.

So She was stood still.

She was stood still, but when I when I when when light went red and the man went walk, she started going across in front of my car. So I did as I have been told by myself, and I honked.

Now when you honk, do you do little toot toot or do you hold it?

And this is a good tip. This is great because in the book, I can't really put sound effects. Right. So You tried. You true tried. I tried to draw them, but this is good for for if you got if you have a for a person who's listening who wants a a companion to the to the book or they could get it unaudible. But this is a kinda hard hard you do when you're hoarding. Right. You lay on it to the point where making a weird sound And then they can't help but look at you because I think they did something wrong. But then you just go

okay. Okay.

You do kind of a yum yum yum. That was a

good food. Kid.

Yeah. It's a

little So you honk?

There's a little bit of an Italian aspect too.

And then you kinda, like, take your seatbelt and you kinda get up get up on that steering wheel. And you go, and you open the window and you go, like this, like this. And you show what you would do if there if there was a steering wheel.

So you honk? Let's just go through the steps one more time. You honk so hard that your horn starts to mess up a little bit because you're pushing it so hard. Then you do once you get their attention, because I'm assuming you will because it'll be a weird hunk. You give them a little chef's kiss, and then you pretend you're fucking the steering wheel. Quares me. Excuse me. Peeep.

I was just showing showing you I didn't say that fuck it, but I was like, this woulda be like.

You say

like this. Like this? Like this.

Yeah. That tune sounds kinda familiar, actually. Sounds like it's to a bit of a tune.

Yeah. Well, it's a it's a larger song I wrote. So If you wanna get down with a little pretty ego, get outside your car. You go up on your horn and you go like this and you go tuck this. Like this. And when the girl looks back and she's like, what? You say, this water would be like, like this. Like this. So she got in my car, and she got in

my car.

It worked.

It worked. Wow. Wow.

Wow, Hus.

We drove all the way to the other beach.

I have never

so as You mean the other coast?

Hang on. What do you mean the other beach? Did you just walk me across the street?

You near the beach? Yeah.

Yes. Our beach.

So then there's the other one. And it's far, but you get to know a person in that ride.

How many hours is the other beach? Away.

Well, this is a good math problem. How many hours is it?

Can I can I also ask,

what are we talking about? About.

Well, the woman got in the car with Huster, and she drove she drove to the other beach. And I think we're about to do some type of middle school elementary math problem if a car is driving sixty miles an hour with Huster, and a stranger from the street headed toward the other beach, how long does it take to get there?

And to fully clear, this is the culmination of Huster's three rules for wooing a a woman of Christ without sinning.

Without sinning. Yes.

And can I just say before anything changes, Moisha, I love your new haircut?

It looks fantastic.

You look like Lord Farquan.

Was thinking the same thing, but I didn't wanna label them.

Yeah. I came in and I showed him the picture. Well, because it's a Christian look, you know. Or farquaad is what is the most Christian character. And so I showed him the first squad. And the first thing you started to do try to cut my body. And I said, I don't know that hair. And then I didn't realize I had shifted to another picture sure. And so he started giving me Fiona ears, and I was like, goddamn it. That shall not use Lord's name or date. Anyway, I finally ended up with the far quad. And if you do look at my lower half, my leg is bitten off like the cookie. Little barber confusion, but the Lord does give you challenges when you're trying to get a haircut does each eye.

Absolutely. We all know that.

Well, Hustard.

I had to cough because I ate two cigarettes.

Cigarettes. We haven't even terrible.

We haven't even gotten in the Husters book I'm giving up smoking the mustard away.

Yeah. When you eat enough of those puppies, you eat enough of those puppies, you'll never wanna smoke one again. Because they make you hunger when you smoke them. But when you eat them

--

right.

--

to make you full. But in a way that feels that

yeah. In every way.

What my worst favorite part is the ashes.

Your worst favorite part.

You're eating lit cigarette, not even It's lit, baby.

Sir, can I ask you a Frank question?

Yes. Yes.

Did did you even study Jesus' friends? Are you just are you just making this all up?

Excuse me, Feb first. What a bold ass question. Did I even study Jesus or am I making it all up? Well, I guess my answer would be, do you want the lie or the truth?

Well, normally, I wouldn't want truth, of course. But now I guess I wanna hear that you did.

I I actually did do it. I'm not a I'm not a liar. I am a historian.

Okay. Okay. You're a historian in right now?

And I've been a historian for bunch of years. Well, guess my age.

I mean,

thirty two.

Yeah. You know,

thirty two. I already told you I went to my mission at thirty three.

Oh, right. I'll say.

I would say.

I'll say thirty six. Higher.

Forty four.

Yep. Fifty.

More. Let's

just overshoot here. A hundred. Don't even say you're older than a

hundred. Cimb.

Cimb. Okay. You could I mean, you couldn't be a day over one zero two.

One zero yeah. One zero two.

Higher.

And remembered just looking at Huster, even after hearing Huster had been on a mission when he was thirty three, Lindsay said thirty two. So look wise, we're thinking thirty two.

You look more Go

over what okay.

Well, the oldest person in the world right now is a hundred and ten. So you gotta be one zero nine.

But what if they never even asked me?

They should change that to the oldest person we've asked.

And Yeah.

Yeah. You think they just find out,

i guess. They just ask people. They don't look at records.

For a while, it was forty two just because they were they were asking around younger areas.

Yeah. Who's gonna walk over to an old person and ask them how old they are? Nobody.

When was Jesus around?

Jesus was around about two thousand and twenty one years ago.

So you're saying that you saw this stuff firsthand. You saw Bruce. You're two thousand. You're over two thousand. Bruce moved me from my married house to my studio. After you got a divorce. Bruce moved you into a studio. So what? You're you're two fifth two thousand and fifty?

I'll be right back. I guess I stopped counting. Once once it got to the port where people didn't wanna put as many candles on the cake.

What's the last birthday? What's the yeah. What's the last birthday that you had you had a birthday cake with the number of candles that you actually were on there?

Thirty, seven.

Okay. There's a lot of candles still.

Well, hustler. We got a

big cape. Big birthday.

Thirty seven.

Before my wife told me it was over.

Oh, we're so sorry. Hey. I don't know, Greg.

How did you move by?

You're not like it is affected the way you treat and talk about women and have written books about Jesus for two thousand and twenty three years.

How did you

meet your wife?

That bitch? Yeah.

How did you

please don't tell me at a stoplight. I'm

at her. Well, she was making a stone tablet and -- Right.

--

she she was carving into it. And she looked up

to her. You sang her a song?

Yeah. And I walked up to her and I said, when you cover like this, Can you do it like this? When it come like this? Can you do it like this? Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

I love how many of your songs have a tongue click in them. So far, every song you've done has a tongue click in it.

And every song has the lyric like this. Yes.

Lot of acting out. They're all murderers. Huster loves to show how he would fuck somebody. Beep.

How do you guys do it? Let me see. Everybody do it.

I do it. Beep. Like dance.

That's how I do

it. Like dance.

Maybe like dance.

Like this.

Honestly, it's been so long for me. I don't think I can remember how I'd do it like that.

I do honestly like to see someone stroked you know, it's kind of a look in to their written. They're like, what? It's basically dance and you get to see somebody stroke.

Might let me see a much much -- Yeah.

--

do you agree it's dancing?

Do I agree that lovemaking is like dancing? Well, in the sense that when when my wife and I make love, we dance around each other in a circle and lift each other up chair. There are similarities to the way that I have been trained to dance. We we do make love the Christian way. But, you know, there's different ways. There's the lovemaking of making a baby and there's a lovemaking of showing your loved one the passion of the Christ. Inside of the

like, sixty nine.

With, like, six

that is passionate.

Sixty nine is yeah.

No baby is coming out that way.

Sixty nine is the best position.

Striply passion. And it it listen, when it's when it's sixty nine, you know it's low.

Sixty nine just

works. It

just works.

If you're ever struggling to get off anybody, just hit the sixty nine.

It'll just work. You go zero to sixty nine and sixty nine seconds. I like this.

Huster. I think maybe we should discuss this.

We gotta let Huster go. Rosters making this show nasty.

I think maybe we should discuss this off, Mike. But I don't think that anyone with historian by their name is allowed to be a guest. I think we gotta do a little bit more background. I know we read some of Hostor's book.

You read some of it?

Well, we read some we I read all of the books, but I only read some of the book. I read all of the ones that I read. But you have a lot of short one page PDFs out there.

Yeah. I'm a very prolific writer.

Yes. I didn't listen to your mixtape, the what like this tapes. It's just There's

a lot

of good info in there.

In the what's the like this tapes? Mhmm. It's mostly you describing lovemaking. Right?

I like this.

Yeah. No. We heard that one.

Oh, we wanna hear another one?

Yes, please. Sure.

It's a ballot. If you're really in love, then you Put your butt in the air. No blanket. No phones.

No blanket. No phones.

And you go like this. Like this.

Oh, god, there.

And if your booty makes the sound like this,

i think you're normal just right.

Kim, happy Amazon.

I ordered some paper towels.

Just go pick those up, Oscar. From the grocery store, you're literally there.

No. I wanted to help Amazon. I ordered paper towels, plastic boxes, plastic wrap, disposable underpants and socks.

Disposable size. Not a dis Yeah.

You're using reactiview disposable socks. Right?

What type

of use? Are you

about plastic socks?

You know, make you so stinky gotham.

Looking like a true player, Huster Blunch.

Water play.

Yeah. I I think we got it. We got start wrapping it up here. But, man -- Yeah.

--

hustler This was a blast.

It was a blast talking to you.

Hey, love you guys.

It's crazy.

It crazy to find out

it's nice to meet you, dude.

I love you guys, and I really did miss Heaven friends. So thank you so much for invite me and hanging out, and we're gonna keep doing this whatever every Wednesday. And I love this so much.

We definitely wanna hear now that we know that you're two thousand and fifty, we definitely wanna have you back and hear more about other stuff over history that you've had a front row seat for.

You you wouldn't even believe dinosaurs.

I guess we're more than two thousand fifteen years old then.

Oh, wow. I did not

get I can't get into it, though.

Yeah. Considering your age, I've the little said that all we got into was the guy that helped Jesus move around, and you're describing how people should have sex.

Well, hey, that I guess that's our in We we should have steered the conversation where we wanted

it to go

like that.

Yeah. I tried to take it other places, and you just kept going back.

We know it happens with us all the time

last time.

Esther, thank you so much for being on this show. We really appreciate you calling by.

Like I said, I love you guys.

Can I ask you just one more question? I since I heard it, I've been wondering, is that a family name?

Like this?

Yeah, that's what I meant.

It's like there's a family name. Please say yes. Or do we want

my grandpa was named like this.

What a beautiful way to commemorate him then. Wow. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And I'm trying here, Morisha. Okay. This was a bus. What do you want me to say? I'm trying.

All your songs about sex or say your grandpa's name

well You are detectives and you solved the case. Just a time to wrap it up, I guess. Is this a true crime podcast?

You're busted.

It is it's not Huster Blunch. And there wasn't any Alright.

Just kinda weird.

Just just

kinda weird. Just kind of a weird sexuality about a dead old family member. I see.

What's your opinion?

Yes. But I hope that we have Through the wisdom of Huster Blunch -- Mhmm. -- nay like this. I hope that we have shed some light on the life of Jesus. We've now done the birth, the life. Episode three, stick around. It's the death of Jesus Christ.

Oh.

We forgot you knew him. Sorry, host.

It always hurts to hear about it, but I understand you're interested.

Well, thank you for being here.

Thank you. Thank you.

We appreciate your time and, of course, your experience.

Well, like I said, I love you guys.

We love you, Esther.

We love you, and

the day to be here.

Good job, pastor. You did a really good job today.

Thank you.

I had a really good time. I love you guys.

Alright. No. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Austin. Thank you.

You try to scoop me off the web?

No. Do you need to know how to turn off the camera or leave the meeting here, Esther?

No. I know. I did. I just wanna say I love you guys.

You have a joke you you have a joke computer. Right?

Yeah. Well, it's from Spencer. I didn't think it was a joke, but then you kinda cracked my whole situation while I'd open with that factoid.

Well, I see a bunch of lava lamps behind you.

Yeah. And then my computer's just like a pair of tits that says, my computer's up here.

So is South jokes about a computer? That makes I tell you,

i don't love every Spencer's joke, but that one is clever.

Alright. We'll let you guys go. I'll just hang out and hear you guys can all leave.

Yeah. There's a leave meeting button right on the bottom there, Huster.

You guys.

I'll kick that up.

You you can hang out on the Internet as long as

you want.

Okay? Anytime.

Amen.

Alright. Amen. Amen. Mass

is out. And the coffee's on.

I got a couple scenes on my chest. I got to get

it on.

Grab me some grace.

And pour me a up for that, Joe.

Welcome to the beaches then. Maybe let's