dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. Not for a union of two people, but a union of everybody. Everybody here listening come on down to dog like methodists and watch. The Easter Sunday, put off for charity. We, of course, are raising money this year in Jesus' name, for all the youths in need around town. Simply one dollar per sunk putt. Fifty cents will of course go to the clubhouse. Fifty cents going straight to the mouths of those hungry, hungry children hundred hunger hippos as I call

them. Lord, please give us the strength to sink those putts. And raise those dollars

for these hungry, hungry boys and girls or hippos. Come on. And please Lord, I hope we're all looking good out there on the course and if you need to be, hit up the pro shop right for you compete. We got in some new hats, knickers, socks, clubs, and bags. Lord. Bless me, bless you all. Bless you. Hey, man. Amen, but

keep there. Amen lord and keep going. Of course. I'm going, man. Lardi Lardi.

Look who's?

Look who's turning forty.

Happy birthday, lord.

Happy birthday, lord.

Happy birthday. Every forty

a little joke we make about the Lord on his birthday is it's Lord's two thousandth fortieth birthday. You're over the hump, Lord. Lord, you are over the hump. You're over the hill. I got you for your birthday, these reading glasses.

Lord. Get them more.

Lord. Here is a card with a beautiful young woman on it. And on the inside, it says here's some reading glasses for you to see this beautiful young woman on the front of the card. Because your eyesight is going at your delicate old age of forty, sweet Lord. Sweet Lord.

Lord.

Lordy, Lordy. You're turning forty. Happy birthday. We got you those funny little candles that won't blow out when you blow them out. A little bit of a prank on the Lord. Let's hope it doesn't set him off like it did. Me, at my fortieth birthday. Or I couldn't blow the candles out and thought it was a long issue. And had a bit of that.

You stormed out to the hospital?

I stormed straight to the hospital short of breath. From the big blows and got diagnosed with Too Jewish.

Saint Anthony

of course.

It's San Anthony.

Very tough hospital. A lot of racist doctors.

But I got a second opinion from Bethlehem.

Oh, confirmed. What were the results?

Way to Jewish. And I got kicked off of Duc Cross, Jew Shield insurance.

Lord. Lord. Lord.

But this is not about me happy fortieth birthday, Lord, Lord, you're turning forty eight men.

Amen of course.

Amen, but we're continuing

on -- Yes. Amen.

--

lordy -- But not over here. -- lordy.

Nope. Stay on the line, lord. We're still coming to you. Lordy, Lordy, look who's forty, Lord. I hope you got my back brace. I sent you. Because, of course, your back's going out because you are two thousand and forty, Lordy, Lordy. Look, or who's forty. No. Now, Lord, I wanna also thank you for this week's Cerman, which we are going to turn off the sermon and turn on Toy Story five. Of course, was able to procure a new cut of Tor Story five. Minus a lot of the animation, but with storyboards and most of the story line, Lord. I of course being sought out

by the law for stealing this from

a computer farm up in Northern California. And I would like to go ahead and preemptively let my lawyers know, Shamona Hehe and Yowg. To please be ready for the impending lawsuit. Lordy, Lordy, you're forty, And remember, to use those reading glasses because your eyesight is not. What it used to be, amen, but continuing on.

Amen. Don't go anywhere, Lord.

Lord, before you get on with your day and enjoying your fortieth b day. Just wanna let you know My gift to you is gonna arrive a couple days late Lord because I just put it in the mail. It's not because I forgot your birthday Lord. It's because I got busy, couldn't make it to the post office. Lot been going on in my life, Lord. Yes. Happy belay. You'll get a I did write happy belated on the card because I did believe it would arrive a few days later, Lord. But Lord, thank you again for allowing me to live with me to

put the address. Or did you just write happy belated?

I read happy belated Lord, and that's gonna be extra belated. A Lord. Hank tight. Belated. Yeah. Hank tight, Lord. Look at it as a surprise on the horizon. You got no idea when it's gonna show up. You're gonna open your front door, Lord. There's gonna be a box of a letter box. There's gonna be a letter. Right there in the mailbox, Lord.

No idea. No idea.

You have no idea. You have forgotten you had your birthday, Lord. You'll open up your mailbox. You pull out my card, Lord. You'll open that card.

Forgetful in your old age. And now,

i wanna let you know Lord that I did buy my card before Moisha. It's gonna look a little familiar to the joke that Moisha sent you, but I swear to you, Lord, I I got my card before moisture, Lord.

Not a competition.

Lord, that's just the second card coming twice. It's not your brain going in your old age, Lord.

Yeah. Lord, I'm sorry for putting you in a position where you might question your head, Lord. But Lord, thank you so much, Lord, for everything you've done.

And Lord, we just want to let you know, we have seen you riding around in your six cylinder Mustang convertible. And you're not fooling anyone, Lord. We know you're forty.

Lord.

You're not twenty, Lord. Lord. You can wear it every Just go jet black, Lord. Lord, and your mustache and goatee is way too dark. It's you just the just for Christ, that you're using ain't Foolin. No one Lord.

Lord, what do you and that new girlfriend have in common? What do you even talk about?

She is

so much younger than you Lord. Come on, please. We see right through it.

You're over the hill, Lord.

But we love you. Lord, you need to quit trying to have fun. You're done. You're done, Lord. You're forty. You're done.

We've all got regrets, Lord. You can accept those regrets, but trying to relive a life you never had. It's just too much. And it's sad. Lord.

It's sad. If we're not happy,

you're not happy to Lord.

And in his name, We pray.

Yeah. We pray. Amen. Amen and out. Out. Mass is out and the call feels on. I got a couple see is on my chest that I got to get on. Grab me some grace. And bore me a cup of

that, Joe.

Welcome to the freakiestamps. Maybe let's

was Donna really leaning into the keys on that organ today?

Donna. She was flashing. Keys.

Great work.

Donna. Sound good.

Yeah. Donna, you could tell she was using her feet on that one, hitting a few base notes along with the top note. We appreciate that, Donna.

Yeah. Thank you so much, Donna. But folks, thank you so much for tuning in for episode three of the Preacher's lounge. Story of Jesus, four part Easter mini series. Of course, week one, we talked y'all about the birth of Jesus, Last week, we came back at you, talked a bit about the life of Jesus. Learned a lot about this sort of the ins and outs and the sort of back back alley dealings, not back alley dealings, just the the little known facts about our lord. And and we're gonna continue that tradition today. With episode three, where we will discuss Potentially, the saddest part of the story of Christ.

But necessary.

Yes. Necessarily the saddest. Not necessarily

the saddest, but it is his death.

But I

don't know if it's the saddest.

Not necessarily the saddest.

Necessarily the set.

There might have been something in there that that was a little bit sadder, but, folks, we're gonna talk about it today when we discuss Christ's betrayal, and his subsequent death by crucifixion, which, of course, as you all know, is a very painful way to.

It's by suffocating from across.

Is it?

Wait. Leaders, Clinton.

Was it death by suffocation? This is news.

I was under the impression that it was heaviness from the cross, crucifixion. It was a cross suffocation, a crucifixion.

Across suffocation. -- crucifixion. Or as we say, not crucifixion. Preciction. That's a little easier to say.

You're going from the Latin.

Because you you, of course, put the nails into the hands and the feet and you would eventually die from suffocation because you're not able to hold yourself up. And breathe.

Oh, wow.

Because that's what we do normally with our hands and feet. We we hold ourselves up to breathe.

That's okay.

And I just wanna let you guys know I decided to come to you straight from the sun. Straight directly into the sun.

So I behind you, and you've got a bounce guy, right on the other side of

the camera to deal

with a little bit of flare. Right?

Well, as you know, I I'm pastor of Omega church, So, I gotta be looking good up there. You know, I've got about, you know, seven to eight thousand people in person. A sermon. So while

your attendance fluctuates by a thousand week to week, that's that's that's absolutely insane.

Well, very low attendance through the pandemic. Course, because the doors were closed.

Yes. It fluctuates about a thousand depending on what we're studying that weekend, if anybody's interested or not. You know, when we're going through some of the Jona and the whale, people are there.

Because and and and if I'm not mistaken, you might I think you are first church that does a teaser trailer for the following Sundays.

That's right. Mhmm. I go into iMovie and I course, don't pick movie, I pick trailer. And I make the most basic trailer you have ever seen But, I try to throw in some just some hooks. And I take some liberties. I take some liberties with certain stories to get people in the sea. I mean, you guys have seen my trailers, and I'll add characters, I'll add a slight story line, I'll add a mystical element, to get people in the seats. And sometimes What's that?

Watch yourself a mystical element. Right?

Oh, right. Yes. Put a wet towel up under the door. Stuff like that.

Alright. Oh,

like, Usually, a lot of people show up when it shake your ass.

A lot of people show up. Not too many people familiar with putting a wet towel up under the door though. What? That's

my favorite. Put a wet towel up under the door. Because you don't want the smoke to get out of the hotel room

--

mhmm.

--

and Right. But yeah. So it's heavily mystical. And that'll get people in the seats. I'm wracking my brain for some other mysticals.

But yeah. Of course, I came here with my cross in my hand.

One of the best. People really showed up where I came here I came here with my cross at my hand. Yeah. That was a good one.

But it's But yeah. You know, your church does fluctuate. But it's still huge numbers. You can give or take a thousand when at a mega church. If we lost a thousand at my Christians for Jesus Church, we would definitely be in the red.

And you you you have lost a thousand two weeks ago, there was a

yeah. Go ahead.

Two weeks ago, you had a big dip in your in your attendance after a after a mid sermon gaffe?

Yeah. There was a bit there was a bit of a mid sermon gaffe. Where I was telling well, it was a whole sermon. A couple things happened. Some factual and some more physical. So the factual thing is I was tell a lot of people felt that my story of the death of Christ was just the story of Passover. Obviously, I have the Christ plate behind me that we passed around the church and everybody. You know, there's the lamb shank to represent Christ's beautiful strong arms. The egg to represent Christ's love for getting gains at pro getting a lot of protein and stuff. Christ ate twenty thousand calories a day and about a hundred, two hundred ounces of water because he was so Of course. His workouts.

Christ Christ looked a lot like Joe Hogan.

Yes. They called him no neck, no hair for a while.

That's

that was a nickname, of course, but it it really flew around that time.

It stuck.

It stuck.

It was a and a lot of people say that when he that was kind of Jesus's dark period, you know, that's off the rocks. But when we say, maybe his death isn't the saddest period, no neck, no hair is up there.

Would Jesus move to Austin?

Yeah. Right? He moves well, that was for he wanted the tax break also.

Right. Of course.

And you trust me Jesus kept Austin weird. And so yeah, the the first gaffe was I passed around the Christian plate. Everyone said this is the seder played for Passover and I

said Right. Right.

Well, you you're wrong. I that's obviously Hebrew which Christ spoke on that. Of course. And then obviously, the other gaffe was as I was running to pick up the plate. I fell a a face first into Barbara Bush's lap. It was an exact scene from the film naked gun but it happened to me.

Oh my god.

Yes. We had the Wow. We had the the first lady. It because it was a sermon. It was Camp David. Mhmm. And we it was for all of the leader, the living and dead

this was a different Camp David though. Is that right?

I'm sorry.

Sorry. We just go ahead. You said it's for the living and the dead. Right?

So we dug up everyone who's great. We have access to as far as American leaders. And we got so whoever taft was there, Roseville was there. Wow. Yes.

And are they are they fully decomp I this is a a crass question, but are they fully decomposed?

A lot of people ask that. You'd be surprised. For example, Abraham Lincoln, the hat went away, but the beard got longer.

That does surprise me.

So he's almost unrecognizable. Yeah.

A lot of people said, oh, Santa got skinny and they were like, no. That's like

so his face looks the same, but

a lot of people A lot of people said, Oh, Santa got skinny.

A lot of people. I heard a a lot of rumblings of it. A few people would call me and say, oh, I said I got something. I said, no. I actually heard that already. So, yeah, the you know, I did a sermon about the death of Christ to all living in dead world leaders and felt like passed around a passover seder plate and fell face first into Barbara just lap one.

Well, that'll put you in the red. That's a tough

--

mhmm. -- that's tough. So you're rebuilding your congregation, and this week was low numbers. But you had a couple people there?

Well yeah that like I said in the red so it means we had negative numbers so it means you know there were literally like the absence of space was there.

So there was a slight black hole that we're preaching to.

Yes. I preach to a a quasar, I guess, is whatever it would be as many black hole. And that was because people left my church so fast it created The the the form of basically two stars colliding. Wow. Wow. Apologies, of course, to Buzz Aldron who got sucked in and we're hoping we we were hoping he's still in this dimension or in a dimension we can find but he was there to find God and we lost buzz.

Wow. So buzz altering skeleton got sucked into the black hole that you created from having such a bad a a sermon.

That's exactly right. Okay. So I lost buzz in that way and you lost buzz in the sense of on your Toy Story five DVD. It was not Tim Allen's voice but scratch track done by, I think, just the sound guy.

Yeah. It was just a a a guy doing a lot of whole. And

doing his own improvement thing.

Yeah. I think one of the sound guys thought it was just that he was supposed to do Tim Allen's, you know, late eighties routine.

And and it works for me. But this is not about the death of Buzz Aldron or -- No. -- or or movie theaters. This is about the death of Christ. Right. And it obviously has affected us all greatly when we

heard about it.

Yeah. I think god for it every day. I'll be honest. I thank God every day that he died because it was a necessary part

of him accepting our sins.

Thank you. God for killing your son. Trickin your son to go down there and put and don't telling him about it when he was about fifteen.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I don't think he knew Until it's about fifteen. Is that correct?

Talk about bad issues. Yeah.

That'll give you some bad issues.

Yeah. You gotta think about it. Thanks a lot.

Thanks thanks, daddy. Talk thank you, dad. For killing me, geez, dad.

Well, you gotta think about it, you know, from from Jesus' perspective as a young man, I mean, knowing that you are the sort of Christ, Messiah, incarnate, I think, would be a lot on your brain. So I'm sure God when he was, you know, Jesus was was sort of growing up, wanted to just let him be a kid. But once he was old enough to bear that burden, he let him know. And You know, of course, the the sort of inciting incident of the story surrounding today's episode is, of course, the sort of thing we all know about, which, of course, is the betrayal

--

of course.

--

of Jesus Christ, who he thought was his friend, Judas, which I know I can relate to now because after the last couple weeks, I've been betrayed. Multiple And I've actually been able to You've been betrayed

at a few suppers, in

fact. Yes.

In fact, I actually Somebody claimed your banana pudding is theirs?

Yes? That that is the the the most egregious thing in a pop up. Folk story. At a potluck folks.

And they received a lot of accolades. Is that correct?

Yes. And at a potluck folks, the the cardinal sin, original sin, of a potluck. He's not bringing anything, and then make it taking a bold face slide and then reclaiming everybody, and just claiming a dish that's on the table as your own. Knowing that me, but Davis, I'm not the kinda guy who's gonna call you out. I'm gonna let I'm gonna I'm gonna turn the other cheek. I'm gonna take the high road. And I'm gonna I'm gonna allow you

to -- And correct me -- -- take

credit for my pudding.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it was your ex wife's new boyfriend.

It was. It was I agree.

Wrong on that.

No. No. No. That that's you I could be wrong.

No. You're a hundred percent right. And correct

me if I'm wrong. You're doctor has said, you have got to stop turning the other cheek?

Well, he he said that Multiple times, about different things.

Yeah. He says the anxiety It's

been hit thirty times in the face.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's it's you know, But I I've never been the kind of person who can who can confront people. We all know that. Of course, my my home is currently being excavated or or remodel my church home. It it it there's they're building what I think is some sort of big box store on it now. It was buried last week. And this week, I I woke up, and there was a parking structure.

When you say some sort of big box store. Is there any signage? Is there anything that can clue you into what store?

Well, I'll say this. The the signage is all blue and yellow.

Okay. That's going the center direction.

And the signage is all blue and yellow. Everybody who's working on on the project as wearing a blue polo. I'm thinking it's gonna be a best buy. I can't get a straight answer. It's it's really

it could just be a Georgia Southern University Eagles Stadium. Oh,

now that could be

a little too specific, but it's blue

and yellow. Also, could be a napa auto parts, hurt going bigger these days.

That is true. I didn't

think about that.

It could be a blue is better than yellow store, which we're all familiar with. Right.

Could be a Blue Angels Air Force merch store. Wow.

Wow. That could be the one.

I am really wracking my brain and I can't even come with a a store with us. You guys have great color memory.

Could be a fuddruckers.

Could be

a huge new fuddruck.

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Fuddruckers. A good way.

Either way, folks, if you are trying to come to Davidson Home Church, just make your way through the construction site this Sunday, I tried to put up signage, but they keep taking it down. So And

have they have they been Scheduling wise, have you figured out for for them to not do construction during your sermons? How how has the sound been?

I've I've had to start doing cue cards for the audience. I I do the show and not write. Saying

sermon. You're showing them two

cards and they're all shaking out loud. They were just steps. I stand up there. I say, guys, there's no point in me saying, you're not gonna hear it. So just go ahead and read

it. Right.

So I stand there with the card front of me.

You got Wally from S and L. Right? To do the cue cards for the audience?

I did. Which was insane. I can't believe he said yes. But, yeah, he's sort of While

he works like he will work. While he works

i mean, he works until one he he works until one or two o'clock in the morning on Saturday, then he had straight over to Davidson Home Church and Oh, he

did he did the cue cards at my wedding vows for sure.

Oh, yeah. You could not remember your vows. You kept saying who is she?

Well, I get nervous if I'm putting on a show. You know? It can be natural face to face. But -- Right.

Right. -- you

get me in front of an audience and all of a sudden, I think my wife is, you know, keenan. Of course.

Of course.

But I I'm I I think again, the story of Jesus, the betrayals, the perseverance. Yes. Holding our sins. But -- Mhmm.

--

this is I feel like you are being really punished for all of our sins. I feel like they're really landing on you. And and the question is how do you respond? You know, so far you have done it with zero grace and I am wondering if you're gonna either stand up for yourself or speak out or do anything about it. But right now, you go

to your

church and there's construction happening, and your your flock is reading your sermon off of cucumbers that Wally from us cucumbers. Yes.

I didn't mention that. I guess words going around that I They're cute cards.

Right? Not coupons. They're cute cards?

You wrote out a paper.

I ran out of paper. A few cards. Yeah. It's

so how do they how do they write these cucumbers that become cute foods.

You sorta you just burn it you burn it in. You burn like I do. It's a it's a process, you know, I made a

i feel like it would be real. Really small.

Yeah. I made a grill top that has my my sermon on it, and I sort of Mandalin, the the cucumbers into thin strips, put them on the grill, high high heat.

Well, now I'm getting hungry.

Burn the survey.

Well, you know what they say these days, it is tough to keep everybody's attention. You gotta you gotta preach in new ways. You gotta tell stories that people here.

And there's nothing more appetizing than grilled cucumbers.

Yeah. One hundred people. Get the water out of them. That's why I didn't know for a cucumber.

Of course.

Now Lindsay, I'm wondering what the response has been to the new clubs at dog legs eighth day Adventist Methodist Church, where you can now get you can put with a one a a a cross putter or you can you can drive with a one cross instead of a one iron. Now how are people finding the the handles on those, the the blasphemy of it, how are people doing that?

Well, so far, they've seen that the blasphemy has been, excuse me, has been fine. It's more it's more the shin, the shin injuries. Because when you swing the cross, Of course, to hit the ball, you hit it with the long broad end. But then the perpendicular has been chunking people's shins. They get a chunk out with a blade or or a bit of a a bit of a bone. You know, depending on how strong you are, some people been knocking their own bone out of their leg a

little bit. Wow.

So people are swinging your your your golf clubs, and it's basically cutting their legs off is what you're saying.

Well, they're not

off, but into. Yes. You know, it's like if you got a blunt force trauma, someone would kicked with a leg really hard with a four by four, a piece of wood or something.

And you Well, it's got

mixed reviews for sure.

I also heard speaking of the death, the Lord was crucified between two thieves. You're you've set up threesomes to go play with two criminals?

That's absolutely right. We are And

that's been a problem.

Well, it has been a it has been a problem our

country Between two thieves, nine holes. Right?

Yes. Yes.

And I oddly enough, the problem has never been with the thieves. The problem has been with the one person who was untrusting of the thief. And then they end up, you know, just hitting them with the club or telling them to back away or something. I think it's part of our congregation, and I'm telling our congregation they need to be a little

bit more upset. People are unnecessarily hard on these thieves and criminals, and they strike them first.

Well, I think they should really be taking their anger out on the people who are running program, me, the rest of church -- Yes.

--

but not the people who

have been asked to come do this crazy program.

Right. I don't think I

don't think

feed. Is it a Craigslist post, a Facebook group, or or or Right.

It's a Facebook group. Yeah. I'm on I'm on what's that thing called in the neighborhood where y'all talk next door.

Tell us your secrets?

Well, I'm on both. I'm on next door, and then tell us secrets. And next door is great for thieves because everybody posts their ring doorbell footage, and you can just hit up the thief. Oh,

you know, the one you just process that. Yeah. You So it's those two databases that sort of cross checkings

--

mhmm.

--

to to see if somebody is in your neighborhood and also see. Okay.

Yeah. So the course has been getting torn up. Everybody's getting hurt on the first, second t, things like that. But Right now, all we have really left that's in good shape is the putting green

and the little chipping range.

Mhmm. Right.

But, you know, that seems to be good enough for people. So again, Forget that most of the courses in shambles, forget that the church is really shrinking and come on down and putt. But this weekend for the competition

phase now. A lot of credit because your sand traps are empty. So I I do I do think that the thieves are maybe stealing sand from you or like that.

Pay, I don't know. If they want the sand, they can have it. That's fine with me. It's a lot of work, man. It's a lot of work. Those would call course, damn it. It's hard, honestly. I quit the church. I'll be honest and I just went into the No, I didn't. It's a golf church.

Right.

Or this is a golf

church. Okay.

Well, listen. If you if you're if you stop everybody that's stealing two, three bags of sand a day. You'll be there all day. What else do

you suggest to do? I don't know what they're using the sand for, but it is important to them. And here's what I will say.

Green all day.

The laugh guards have never been busier. I do feel like it's the lifeguards from the beach are stealing the sand to bring people to the beach. Because the sand the beaches have never been Sandier, and the lifeguards have never been busier.

The beaches have never been sent to you. And it is beautiful. And if that's what I have to give up for our town to find some joy, I'm fine with

it.

Well, you know, you know when you go on vacation and you're not really sure, you haven't done a ton of research, but you're going to a beach place, and you get there, and the beach is mostly rocks, and you're like,

i might have put the

clock on

this plane right now.

Yeah. Like, I okay. I can do it. It's fine, but the beach is pretty slanted. It's pretty steep, and it's mostly rocks. That's what our beach is. So I think people are bringing in sand.

But I will say, luckily, all you have to do is go get the whole family Aquasox, and that way you can walk us down the beach, is those beautiful rubber shoes.

Yes. Nobody looks cooler than when they're in Aquasox.

And these are these are Jesus themed Aquasox. Right? Then they'd say if Jesus had worn these, his feet would have been clear on the cross, or he would have been more comfortable on the cross? Is that what

it is? He can

he can really walk on water with these.

I think that's something that we we should talk about is all the people who blame Jesus for the reason we might crucify.

Well, most people were saying this is your own fault.

It was a tough time.

Cursive excitement.

Yes.

If only you would have had Aquasaw Tom

--

yes.

--

we wouldn't crucify them had their Aquasaw side, and they were like, you should have these. They were walking over pebbles, and he was like, oh, ow. And they were like, we're fine.

He's Yeah. That one guy who stabbed him in the side and all the water came out, he didn't even get his feet wet.

What up? That red water came out.

Well, folks, we could talk about this all day long, but we have someone as a guest, of course -- Yes.

--

to really shed some light on this in

a way that we are maybe not even able.

Yes. Yes. I I I like the last week is that that we took a break and everyone thought of how they were like Jesus and that they were imperfect I think now, if I take a break and think of what you could do with your own water songs. That's right. And then go ahead and

take it. To prevent your own death.

Log on to walk on water socks dot com and use the promo code preachers.

Yes. For

twenty five

percent off kids, water socks, and old people's water socks.

No discount on middle aged water. No. Alright. We'll be right back. Preen.

While we hope you've all thought of at least ten ways and go ahead and write down ten ways if you haven't already that you can use your water socks at walk on water socks dot com. Promo code Preacher for twenty five percent off water socks for children and elderly. But as we talk about the birth death and life of Jesus Christ, today, it's the death, and joining us is a guest who we're very excited to discuss just that with. It's doctor Lindsey M and M. Hi, doctor. Wow.

Hi. Hello. Hi. How are you? Hello.

And -- Thank you so

much for -- praise God as well. Thank you all.

Thank you for taking time out of your very busy schedule. We can see that you're obviously in your off s. You are taking patience today, but -- Yes.

--

you took a quick break. Mhmm. You were just going over some x rays,

and thank

you so much.

Don't worry. Thank you as well.

Oh. Oh, I'm oh, I just heard you were in a room with a patient and you just shushed them.

Well, she was being loud.

Right. Right. Right.

And I wanna and I'm speaking with you, men. And I'm so grateful once again for that opportunity. And she needs to know her place. So

right. Right. Yes.

And we offered a lot of times. We offered night times. We offered weekends. And you said, no. Let's Wednesday ten AM.

Yes. I've yeah. Well, I just thought this would be the best time. I'm sorry.

And And we did see a little bit of the pre roll before you started recording, and you said, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. Hold on. I'm gonna record. So this is why to pause -- Yes. -- for this patient.

Well, I know she's got a lot of free time in her day. And if she doesn't, she can say something. Okay. And it's crickets. So

that is very good boundaries.

It's very poor. I think a lot of doctors have been warped. Frank, when I say buy TV, that you have to be this sort of sexy giving doctor, And I you show up in my office and here's what you're gonna get. Number one, I'm ugly as shit. I looked bad. I stick like a piss.

Smart, smart.

And number two, you're in my office. If you want some sort of special diagnosis, if you want some sort of nice nines. Oh, here's a lollipop kiss a knee. No. I mean, it hit Jordan knee with a hammer and it's gonna kick off me. Like a damn rocket.

Right. Right. The Piper extended so many people's knees checking their reflexes.

Yes, sir. Thank you very much.

That's very treat a you treat a lot of broken noses from self kicks. Right? It's it's your number one treat.

Well, it's my specialty. And I thank you for mentioning it because out of the best a country at it.

Yeah. That's

a problem that I've caused. Yes.

So and I I love I mean, you can find doctor M and M online. The it's the only doctor that looks like shit and stinks like piss. And And Really current market. You I feel that you could only exist in the American insurance system because some people just have to go to you because you're in every network.

Well, I'll tell you this, actually. I train in Wales. And I did my trading there. And it made me believe? And it made me believe, they made believe, went. Yes. I was very disappointed because I've always always wanted to stand on a cliff and I just Googleed and saw there's so many cliffs and whales. And I went there on the make believe, and they said, we have health care here that's good or whatever. You wanna leave? And I said, well, don't worry. You'll you'll you'll rue the damn day. And I think And

then you pissed yourself and you've never washed since.

And I've never watched since and I never and I do look in the mirror and I make sure I make it look worse each time.

Oh, so that's intense how you got to where you are now. It looks wise.

Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I think a lot of women are sort of told you have to look beautiful. And then also some women actually don't get told that at all. And so I sort of made it my own room, my own extreme. I think the best thing about medicine medicine is that it can be as extreme as possible. And also one of the things about religion that I love so much is it can be stream as you need it. And so I said, well, let's push the damn limits. And let's make this work for me and for my patients. Because I think this isn't talked about in the medical field as much, but it should be talked about a lot of patients They see a a beautiful handsome doctor, and then they lie. They say, oh, actually nothing's wrong with me. I don't I don't have

to to

leak it out my damn button. That's

like Exactly.

And the patient sees me, and they say, actually, doctor doctor Lindsay, Lindsay, I've had poop leaking on my damn belly button for six years now. And I've actually had poop leaking on my eyes as well. And I say, you're in the you're in the waiting room, but they confessed to me immediately. They just show me these things immediately.

And these are tough tough diagnoses in the first place.

It

is. Yes. Very hard to diagnose. These things which you understand. I'm very very very keen very keen observer that you are. I'd be surprised to hear if you're not a doctor as well as well as a preacher. Tell me.

No. I am just a preacher, but I see we both have the same first name. It seems like you have a big connection here.

Lindsay. I think that's random. I think that's random.

Lindsay has had poop leaking out of his belly button though before for sure.

Well, yes. Of course. Course. Who who am I gonna?

Tell me.

Oh, yes. I mean, a big Thanksgiving dinner afterwards. You unload you you go one more loop on the belt buckle. And, of course, you get the napkin on the belly button.

And it's, like, city.

Leak city. No.

No. Doctor Minema. I I wanna get us on topic here.

Yeah.

Because a lot of people out there are probably saying, why would the preachers bring in a medical doctor to discuss the death of Jesus Christ. And and I think what we're looking for here is a lot, we know the emotional story. Mhmm. You know, we know we know the the lead up, we know He got he got in trouble with the with the law. He was crucified. He was crucified, and he died. But we don't know what actually happened to him, what he was going through. Medically and I think that's a point of perspective to to show our audience What exactly Jesus did? What he went through for all

of us? From a medical standpoint.

Yeah.

Yes. And, you know, people might not know this about me though, I'm sure my patients were listening. Thank you for your support. As well as my fans, which I do have two Brian secrets. And my friend Kelsey. And I know that they're staying. So Seacrest.

So Seacrest and a bird old friend of yours. Are you your pet?

Yes. I know. And I don't really understand why there's any confusion or for the prime.

And are they Yes. Are they fans of your doctoring or of the art you do on the side? Well,

i would say, first and foremost, me as person and personality probably. And then secondly, it probably would be a tie between my art and my in art practice craft. Right. Which

to a lot of people just looks like popsicles glued on to a piece of paper or popsicle sticks. But but for you, it's art. It is art. Metabolic art.

Practice practice practice craft. Right.

Yeah. Pract card. Okay. Correct.

Which

that is, m n

so they were they were a fan because you famously went on the show, the doctors, and it was immediately canceled. Right?

Yes. I do think that wasn't totally connected, and I think there is there has been an inquiry to the library of congress, and they're looking into that. But, yes, I did a surgery on TV whatever. And well, little little loopy, let's say, for lack of a a for more medical term, we went a little bit loopy. This did.

It was incredibly loopy. It was on the loopiest surgery set.

They're supposed to You left a bunch of dish washing sponges inside of a person live on the doctors.

Yes. And then their organs went out around them outside in several loops around the arms and legs. So that is why mainly medically we call that loopy. And that's what I give to somebody. And

loop City.

Yes. Thank you. Somebody's been listening to the medicine. And is repeated the tombs. So that's basically what happened anyways.

But that person I mean, what the they should thank you in some way because by the way, Guinness is back. And Guinness

is a bit

to be the weirdest thing anyone's ever lived through.

And that person that person went on to die.

Yes. It's true. Which is. You don't have to be late. It's a miracle. It's a miracle to die. And I would so fascinated by by death. In addition to my doctoring and, you know, my I would like pursuit. I also am a prehistoric forensicsologist, which because I I take a a medical look at people who have died in in the past, and I figured those things out. So, like, Lucy, the the first human, you know, like, we all remember Lucy. Oh, yeah. Human.

Miss right. Right. Yeah.

Yes. So she died, and I figured that out.

Oh, no.

Yes. I figured

that out. You figured out that she does. We weren't aware of her death, and then you said, you know what? I think this I

did that.

Did you sort of figure it out again? Is that what it is? Because we all, I think, learned it.

They bring you to to bones and to corpses

--

uh-huh. -- and they'll say, is this thing alive or tired?

Let's get a second opinion. Jesus opinion. And so I checked that And I and and Jesus is -- Yes. -- death.

You you pronounced king tut dead.

Dead. Dead on dead on percent. We noticed him dead. Yes. And But you

knew it immediately.

Oh, so. Yeah. Well, people were unsure because, obviously, the whole mummy situation and the wrapping. And he's like, oh, maybe there's something where he has a name, Spooky Okey, something specific. And I said, no.

Is that

pretty sure I'm pretty sure he's dead. And Spooky Oopy is not is not medical, but it is scientific term. And and so I

well, because you showed up first and people were a little dubious because you were a little confused and you first pronounced they roll toilet paper dead. And they were like, that's not him.

Right. Right. It's something else. It's something else. But I knew I was in the ballpark, which I think is important too. That's what you would that should that's what the myth and the lord should be. Is that I You know, I was in the ballpark.

So right. Jesus Christ.

Yes. That one is very special to me and I find that one because I actually was on a birthright trip and I'm not Mhmm. I well, I'm not Jewish. I snuck on. Let's say. And what I got on, that's what's most important. I found my way onto a birthright trip and okay. Fine. We want the story. So I was in the airport.

I don't think anybody

and I was supposed to be defined. I'm sorry. Okay. Anyways, I was at the airport, and I was supposed to be on the plane to Florida because I was supposed to be headed on a cruise around the bottom of all America to Alaska. And it was pretty beautiful. Yes.

I've heard of these around the bottom. Cruisers are supposed to be

face mask.

On the bottom of it. Go top Alaska, then you just buy another plate of black to find your tiny little plane. You know those small planes they always have

oh, yeah. You fly puddle jumper back from Alaska before.

Yes. Yes. Exactly.

I love that trick.

Uh-huh. And it's really cheap online if you look for it. And so Anyway, I found it and I booked it

to you. It's the only trip that no one's ever made it back from.

Well, you know, from I had to investigate obviously, but anyway, won't believe it. I've got on the wrong flight. And anyway, I found myself in this group of young Jewish teenagers saying, like, what about this birthright thing? And they go, What are you doing here? And I said, Bob, go on with you. And nobody said anything about it, really. So anyways, end up on birth. Right?

No more questions. Yes.

And so

you never If nobody asks you for the details of a story, and then you choose to volunteer the details. It's usually because there was some sort of crazy thing that happened. Oh. Not yourself.

No. Nobody regular. And so anyway, I'm on this dang birthright trip with everybody. All my friends, because as we know, Even though I look like shit smell like piss and and, you know, obviously, just talk talk talk like a horse. You know me. So Anyway, even this despite all this, I'm very charming and personable, and I'm really glad, you know, there's some distance between us because honestly, you're in a room with me. You smell me. I'll just You go crazy. You go feral. So, you know, it happens. It's a totally safe. And so obviously all these teens are freaking out about me and like, know what I'm saying? Well, relax, relax, roll friends here and whatever. And so, you know, we're all hanging out on the birth of my trip. And anyway

you better want it.

I get lost again. No. Don't worry. I get lost again. And I'm pretty saying, hey, wait, boy, what? Stop you're getting lost. And I'm like, no,

no, no, no.

It's such People saw there getting lost. They saw you getting lost, and they tried to stop you, and you you continued on.

And you she thought you were getting one.

Jesus's tomb. We don't believe in Jesus, should I say?

Right.

I gotta check it out. And they say, okay, you later, blue. You're getting lost. Though. And I said, don't don't. I probably just wanna talk to Jesus as two, as they did. So I find myself in Jesus as two. And obviously, nothing's there because the bible or whatever, but there's a little bit of forensic stuff there. That I am able to deduce. And following that, all his little dusty, little dead prison crumbs. I followed him to this garage, and then I did some reading, it's some math. And The

cross was still there.

Outside by the way. And so I don't know this stuff in the damn desert. And then, I said, why gotta get back? I got pigeons to see. Because the reception was really good. And so Ryan

my perception in Jesus' tomb

is probably a five g.

Like That's five g's. Right?

Career level

thank you.

And, I mean, the bars are

high. You're right. Yeah. I mean, yes,

you know.

And so that's that's what on Ryan and Kelsey are calling me and they say, hey, we missed you on the trip.

And save time, you're two only fans, Ryan. Crest and your friend Kelsey or Courtney while you're

in issues too. Yes. Yes. And so anyways, I was all this in my mind, math, science, bones, Little Dad did the bust and the bible. And I'm saying, wait a minute. This is being unlocked for me. So I went back to America, and I wrote a book The book you all probably read and, you know, the reason why I'm the most foremost expert on this, both renowned and foremost expert on this, which is, you know, my book that is best selling

--

mhmm. Mhmm.

--

of books with Most

most stinking

yes. Was stinky stinky books because I print them myself on the press. And the first edition so out by the way. A lot of people don't wanna

say that. Wow. And there was some counterfeiting of your book,

but

it's simple to tell whether or not it was pressed by you because it doesn't have

that specific thing. Have this this think that just part of what people buy it for, I would say.

Yes. I I I find that a lot of people buy that.

It keeps animals out of your yard.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Which is sad because sometimes I try to get pets, you know, and they just they just walk away. But, you know, they're they're business.

The book about your whole experience, Uh-huh. The best selling book about your experience is called Jesus is really dead.

Yes. Yes. And I can confirm that it is. And so, yes, whatever questions

you have, obviously, would

let's walk through it together.

I think an interesting thing you do because we weren't there for all these deaths in history is you'll try to find the pulse of the dead body and you'll say, time of death.

Time of death.

And then you'll do it. Yeah. So what was it for Jesus?

Jesus died at around two

around. Thank you. I've Thank you so much. Please

do me for how long ago it happened, but AM or PM, do we not?

Oh, that's good for my help.

Because you're saying it a little more like, oh, you're trying to, like, make kinda loose plans with a friend. But do you know?

Well, there's nothing looser than death, really, from a medical perspective.

Disagree, but go ahead and explain this.

Okay. Well, go ahead and explain your disagreement.

Oh, my god.

Lindsay pulling her Lindsey pulling her hand back as if she was gonna

so sorry. I was ready to strike, absolutely. And I'm I'm sorry. But, you know, it's it's difficult.

Well, you did go ahead swing, and I think you hit your patient, but crickets once again.

Yes. Crickets. And if she has something to say, she could say it.

And cricket

and that's my thought. Okay.

Well, it does make me think as we discussed this idea of you feeling that the it's malleable when death happens. Based on the description how quiet the patient is, the fact that you just slap them and they went straight down. This patient might be dead that you're about to give a diagnosis to.

That is true.

Yeah. What was the bad news that you were going that you were going to

i don't like to I I will only start with the bad news

if the

patient asks, and it's and there's exactly hippo. And

--

hipo. -- the good news is that She is five eleven.

Okay. So the fact

okay. I think that's a good news for many people

--

right. Absolutely.

--

for Quentin. I would say, UK.

Okay. Alright. It is

this good news.

What is your quentin because he's five foot two, obviously.

I am. Yes. You really you really drove in the steak.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Quinn does all his sermons from an Apple box.

Well, it's it's a few of them. It's a it's a full carton. But I

will say it is nice to just get such straight forward medical factual talk. I think a lot of what we deal with is in story and

a medical, emotional, emotional, spiritual,

and -- Yeah.

--

and I'm wondering. Yeah.

Thank you for clearing that. Thank you so much for clearing this. Well Because to me, he's alive every day. Oh. You know what I mean?

BS. Yes.

He's alive in our hearts.

Well, he's alive, which we will go over next week rose from the debt.

So that's why Oh, y'all. You did do you disagree with that? Or what was that?

Medically speaking, and it's just me as a, you know, doctor, And also

piss and shit.

The other things that I do as well that we all know, so I don't have to say him again. Right?

The tongue depress an artist.

Uh-huh. And other things, good. So and, you know, he is he died. And so in that body that was the Jesus body that was hanging out, whatever he just kept crying over prostitutes and and having people kiss his feet or kissing all the people's feet, whatever the hell. That's his business. You know? But that's done. He can't do that anymore. And all these buddies, Peter Powell, married, whatever their damn indie band is. They're dead too. So they can't say Jack. About, you know, if he's dead or alive? Because they're dead too as far as I'm concerned. And I've done the research on that.

Exactly. K.

I was just wondering if you had done the research because you said, as far as I'm concerned, usually, that's when people stop thinking and just start making a choice.

No. No. I I get concerned to the point of doing research.

I see. Well, let's let's move on. Okay. He is dead. Yes. You're saying he's dead. What So,

yeah, moving forward from here on out, we'll all agree that Jesus is dead. Yeah. We have to all come out say Paige with that fact.

Thank you. I guess we should. You go into the cause of death, which he was crucified, but we know it's not from the the the hand wounds and the feet wounds. Was it from loss of blood? Was it from suffocation, which I believe, what we all have our theories. Did he choke

mhmm. Great. So the long version of it is that there were many different small things building up to Jesus' death. Right? He's walking

on -- Cholesterol.

--

day and night. He's got a high history. Yes. They didn't have cars

no. I know that. Have

a history in his family of all these different medical conditions. His mom's teenage virgin, so that's even meditated, you know, all that big stuff is going on. He's got crazy friends. Bature rain and hanging out with a bunch of circus freaks as far as I'm concerned, a little minute at the camp exposing him to disease, This is not taking a toll on him a long time ago. Right. Quentin, you mentioned his history of cholesterol as well as diabetes, which we have been able to deduce from just, you know, the biblical text, as well as where the little dust crumbs, they tasted like pixie sticking. Right. So we know

that The book of the book of not too many cookies after dinner.

Yes. Of course. Which is in a version of the Bible that King James or whatever didn't want because I think it was it was obviously I'm not a biblical scholar. That's just a hobby of mine, another hobby of mine, but I think he was a a shamed. He saw something in himself, and then he took it on the Bible.

And And we've all read your He wanted of

course, to eat cookies

after January. Of course.

So why would he leave that in if that was his little routine?

Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Well, we all know your book King James, the man who liked cookies a little too much, and it's all about that kind of story.

And thank you for bringing that up. You know, many people who are sort of historians. They try to kick me out of their community and whatever because that I think I speak truth to power in that one. I think I say I think I speak truth to power in that one.

Really? So you've been kicked out of whales and historians.

Yes. Well,

they you don't see me. The girls the girls don't make history. Only girls that Think like damn pissing shit and look like a horse in the face and debate history.

I didn't know they said that, but I do see it on a poster

behind you. History. Name woman that made history.

I'm sorry?

They don't want you to make history.

Exactly. They

don't want you to make history.

Well, Lindsay, M and M, I do think

i've seen you doing Instagram videos where you're out on a jet ski in a river in Miami, screaming. They don't want me to make history. They don't want me to make history. It's very DJ college.

Thank you very much. He was a person of mine.

He was.

Yes.

What what did you treat him for if if you don't mind me asking

i'm tired of general Oh, shoot, hip, boy, forgot about it. Oh, he's forgotten about it. He almost tripped me up. I can't say exactly

--

damn. -- let's just say I had another patient.

Another one.

Wait. And another one. Okay. K.

Let's call this one m c call it.

That's too far, Mosha.

That's too far.

What do you mean

too far?

And that's not okay.

Oh, I took it too far.

You took it too far.

I'm sorry. I feel like it's I've I've made you uncomfortable. I don't know much about doctor stuff. I mean, I come from a family of doctors.

It's a really emotional profession.

Lindsey's gonna slap and the patient again. Oh my gosh.

Yeah. That time of death, please. That patient is not moving. And they're not By the way, this patient looks seven foot two. This isn't there's no way that patient's five zero one.

If you wanna come into my office with your own ruler, then you can do it. But got the wrong ruler. And it's got my numbers on it. And I measured from toe to tip, putting ruler and flipping it and doing it again and flipping it, doing the ruler, and flipping it until I got to five eleven. Okay. And I did that twice, by the way. I double checked my work.

So you did it till you got to five eleven. You didn't get to the top of your patient?

So what are we talking about? Jesus?

Yes. Well, here my experience with Jesus. I because I was raised Jewish, and then I converted to Christianity and I wrote.

Oh, good. Well, all bad. Whatever you feel about it. I respect. I learned a lot on birthright when I got out and made my friends. Oh, I hope they don't miss me too much.

Oh, yeah. I wonder. I mean, it seems like they did the bare minimum to stop from getting lost. So I don't know.

Well, I don't think they ever came back from that trip because they were very feral when they got back, and they live in a little a farm.

A little farm now. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a nice little farm of feral juice. Who went on the birthright trip hooked up with a couple guys from the army and then it ran ran into a doctor that stinks so bad. They lost their minds and became more animal than you. But it's really

and some of us should be so lucky.

We should She

get to experience that much in our in our young and old lives. I won't say who

well, we know that we know that you're old. So I I that's probably what yours is. Go right.

Alright. Had to watch my mouth if I were you?

Oh, excuse me. No offense, of course. I do just The

comp yes. The

yeah. A comp. Singlish.

A very rush.

Okay. Right. Right? Better.

Yeah. Yes. Good. Dis distinguished a special ancient me

angel. Thank you.

You just called yourself patient.

Yeah. Now this is interesting, though, is what you eventually because you said Jesus did have all of the pre the preexisting condition.

A lot was building up medically. And honestly, it it it were up to me. And I was his doctor and obviously, that's another damn thing about friends. They're taking him to all these parties doing all these miracles and not saying, hey, it's time for you to get your yearly checkup or -- Mhmm.

--

one of the dentist. What did your wisdom teeth get taken out? Whatever, you know, that's not in the bible, but that's not my book, that's not my business. But anyway, he had a lot of things building up. And from a medical perspective, somebody coulda throw throw a damn stone at him. You know? But he coulda performed a miracle a little too hard, and that would've been

so So you're saying a healthy person could have survived the crucifixion.

Easily. And I

could have

weather it.

Nope. I've been crucified twice.

Wow.

Well, I'm so sorry.

Oh, yeah. I'm so so sorry. Yes.

Wow.

Yeah. One of them, it seems and I don't wanna make a judgment here, but it seems one of them was very recent

--

of -- based by the holes in your hand.

Damn. Was

it Don't tell me, was it over the holidays? Or Meghan. Did you was

so rough.

Go to a potluck and claim one of the dishes was yours, and it wasn't, and people found it.

Have been in a base dish, and I you know, I won't I won't say we're one, but tempers -- Wow.

--

flared and, you know, my work, anglers. People, I do think there might have been something a little bit poetic about it as well. Terms of their revenge or whatever.

Wait. You can you can crucify people for for the the potluck thing?

Please, but you don't wanna do that. No. You don't wanna start crucifying everyone that's wrong

with people. So so you're doctor Eminem and

i recently had a similar thing happen to myself, and I didn't stand up for myself. So I'm I'm not saying I'm gonna go crucify somebody, but, you know, knowing that's

not I I don't wanna make decisions for people. That's one of the things about being a doctor is that you just let people do whatever they want, really. Wow. But

i hadn't heard that.

But but but you speak up at least. And tell them what you're worried about and stuff. Like

you know, case by case, whatever. Bam. You know, there's a lot of damage, both physically and psychically, I would say, when a crucifixion is performed.

Yes. You know from firsthand experience, So then because you do seem

my in the medical community because HP was basically at a hundred even though I'm so old. Do you

mean, like, hit points like they do in video games and then dozens of dragons?

No. Because I'm a doctor. Okay.

But you have a certain amount of you have a number. And if you heard a certain amount, the number keeps going down. And if it gets to zero,

you might be knocked out or die. Like an f pull or whatever, or it goes back up. Apple the day blah blah. That's where that comes from.

With Apple, they keeps the doctor a lot.

And the HPPs. I think, guys.

Can I ask you how long when does a cruise of fiction? When have you survived? Is it hour eight? They bring you down, and they're like, congratulations. So what what is the it has to end, I'm assuming.

Yes. It it you know, unless it doesn't. So my first crucifixion was actually with Ryan and Kelsey, and it was a meeting for my fan club at the mall, and we met up at the MTMs. And I was like, you know what? They're so crazy. And they were like, what? And I was like, if you crucified me, and they were like, okay. Because we're pretty it off the salt on those things. You know what I mean? They load these bad things up with salt.

Right.

So you're toasted from the salt, and you friend to

do a mall crucifixion suit.

Not just your friend's your fan club, which is right. Again, Ryan, see carrotcrest and your friend Kelsey.

I'm afraid, Chelsea. Yeah.

Which honestly feels very apropos to the first one we know about, isn't it? I mean, if it wasn't his own fan clip.

Oh my gosh. Yes. So c press

appacher mode. You've just been preaching mode.

Appros Hope. Appro.

Appro. Appro. Appopro.

So that is basically what happened to me. And, obviously, we're at the mall. So my security got me down pretty quickly, but they still let me go to the mall, so joke's on them. But

wait. One second. So the you were crucified in the mall -- Yeah.

--

and mall security got you down, but you were still got able to go to the

mall after

you were crucified. So jokes on them.

Yeah. It sounds like

an idea.

Kelsey arrived? Kelsey or Ryan or mall Security?

My security as well as any of the kids who saw.

Well, I'm glad based on your outfit, doctor M and M. That you are still going to the mall because it's clear that you need that pack sun more more than anything else it is.

Yes. Yeah. Sherpa packs and James by Zoomies Sneakers are do you know the do you remember that store? Like, the geo store? I don't remember that shoe.

The what?

There's, like, geo shoes or they were Italian. There were shoes that could breed. Anyway, that's why I got my shoes. And my

we had your boots your shoes.

Your shoes seem to be suffocating. I know their shoes that they can breathe, but they are suffocating.

There's probably been, like, a wintpering, and those actually are my Italian shoes.

Okay. Well, I'm a little worried now because it seems like you've been eating a lot of salty food over the course of this interview, and it seems like you might be cooked from salt.

I'm trying to preserve myself that I don't die, basically. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it's it you're lengthening your life by Yes.

Well, the greatest act I could potentially perform as a doctor who investigates death is never dying. And, yes, basically. I think a lot of women, especially women who are scientists, end up basically getting, you know, they get embarrassed basically by what they did. Marie Currie was doing all the damn, you know, stuff that you're not supposed to be near, and that's killed her. And Well, I'm sure there's other examples. But basically, I want that to happen to me. If I die, it'd be super embarrassing. So admit, I'm gonna just keep basically mummifying myself as I did, as I live.

Well, it is happening. It's happening live in front of us. You are calcifying

i mean, you're being preserved.

Okay. Thank you. Shut us.

Yes.

Well, doctor Lindsay M and M, I don't mean to say this in front of you, but three episodes in a row, I regret not taking over the booking are experts on the birth life of death of

christ. Okay.

Have been very

loose on that. Well, you asked questions and you got answers. So maybe it's not actually an issue with me. It's an issue with your questions, man.

Alright. Well, that's not our line of her questioning needs to be a little bit more pointed.

Yay. You cast the first stone.

You asked me the time of death like gay to you. If you wanted more medicine, I could've given it to you, but you did not. You asked about me and my life. So I told you, And this is why I'm such a damn guarded doctor because, you know, I I I I tell people my life and they don't like it. And and then I tell people medicine, and they don't like it either. Well, this is what I've learned, and I'm an expert because I'm the only person who does what I do. And And that's all I gotta say about that, because I said it pretty eloquently. And I know that's your thing. There's nothing wrong with what I said. You can replay it. So

i think it was also an Iambic pentameter going back. I think that whole that speech was a nice little shakespearean monologue. And I'm convinced we asked the wrong questions that you're actually probably a very healthy and good doctor. Yeah. There's been crucified twice and is jerking herself.

Thank you very much. And the good the bad news is you don't have health insurance anymore.

That was to the the patient get in the room. Yes. So you're not even gonna let them know they're down.

This is what my priest this mess.

That's true.

Lady, you're dead. I don't even I I well, could you hear me? I don't know how death works. I but you're talking to her, so I figured. Oh.

Well, now she's leaving. Look at that. You work for up number, eternal slumber. Are you happy?

Well, she just plays a wreck.

Rising from the dead?

You activator. Apropos. Apropos.

Check

your phone and see how many bars you're getting right now. You could be in the presence of the second coming.

My god. I got five g's again. Oh,

my god. Okay. Why don't you guys this?

Possibly this person, this seven foot one person that was in doctor M and M's office is the second coming of Christ.

Well, we

you have to say, coming

of Christ Insurance.

Listen, I'll tell you this right now. We were talking earlier about how you do nice teaser trailers for your for your your sermons and stuff, Quentin? This -- Yes.

--

sounds like the perfect teaser trailer for the next and final episode of this mini series.

I'm gonna do this And I'm gonna also add Jason Voorhees taking off his mask and guess who it is. Guess who it is. Saul Early Paul. Early Saint Paul. Yep.

Wow. People will be so confused. I don't

really think that would read to many people. I really don't I think it's a little it's a little I don't know if niche is the word. Something between me and all.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, man.

Well, doctor M and m, we got we probably gotta start wrapping things up here in a second.

That's okay. I've got I've got, you know, self- to salt. Yeah. So, you know, give me out of here,

whatever. No. We really It seems like you're feeling

a little rejected that the episode's ending and you're trying to take back the power. It's okay, they all end.

To do.

People are

not another damn door. Can't you hear them? Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock. Oh, shoot my door's about to fall off. Lots of people. Whoa. What's that? Ryan? Yeah. Probably Ryan's secrets, my friend and family. Choe.

Well, doctor doctor Lindsey M and Am, we appreciate you

and not

medical expertise. And I think you really did offer

something today. Okay.

Yeah. You did.

I understand the insults, you know.

I didn't mean it as an insult. I apologize. It's a different perspective, and we do appreciate it.

Speaking of insult, we'll let you get back to -- Yeah.

--

your bath.

To to curing yourself so that you don't embarrassingly die. And we appreciate your time, doctor Lindsay, M and M. In my opinion, know you lost the lawsuit but you really are the real slim shady and so thank you for coming on the air today.

Thank you so much fellas. And I guess, you know, if you ever wanna come by the doctor's office, I'll give you two percent off.

Wow. That's generous.

Thank you.

That's a real deal.

I didn't know if doctors could offer deals.

And would you good like me, you too?

Okay. Well, thank you.

Wow.

Well, speaking of percent off, we all I do wanna thank our sponsors, walk on water shoes, and of course the crown of Puka shells, the only Jesus themed Puka shell necklace.

Put on your head.

That you put on your

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Yeah. Hey. It's an easy sell. Y'all go out And

it will, just like Jesus, cut you and make you bleed.

That's right. So enter preachers at crowd of puka shells dot com and get fifty percent off puka shells, for the baby or elderly in your life.

Fifty percent off, it's a good deal.

Fifty percent off. And, of course, we are still selling unlimited bread and fish.

Oh, that's all you can eat, bread and fish.

Luvs and fishes. Mhmm. All you can eat. So come on down, we do still have some of that.

Yes. Come on down. It stinks in the bread of soggy, but we have as much as you want and can eat. So if you're hungry or weird, come on down. And of course everybody join us next week where we talk about the resurrection of the big man.

Yes. Which if we

bring the big man back from yeah. Yeah. Of course.

Happy birthday, Christ. Your forty, Lordy, and we are excited to celebrate you. Every day and year. And again, doctor Lindsay M and M, it's really been enlightening.

Oh, sorry. I was listening to a podcast.

Oh. Yeah.

Well, thanks.

You mind telling us what show? Yeah.

Good recommendation. Right. And my friend, Kelsey, do this one thingy special. What? Yeah. What? Like, you haven't been name dropping Jesus this whole damn time. I ain't got a friend. And he's got veneers.

I'm proud of him, love.

Are you talking about Jesus or ryancy crust? Or What's the difference?

Well, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And until next week,

hey. Amen. Amen. Amen. Mass is out, and the cough is on. I got couple scenes on my chest that I got to get on.

Bend this some drinks.

And pour me a cup of that Joe. Welcome to the Preaches dance. Maybe let's