Welcome to Last Resort! The podcast where billionaire jet-setters, Eat, Pray, Lovers and a family of five looking for a nice getaway can tune in to get the inside scoop on the goings-on of the 124th best off-beach Gulf Coast vacation spot in the beautiful US of A -- Subtle Shores Resort and Buffet.Hello! We're manager Skip and sea captain Sidney Powell, singer Croonin' Dwanye Newman, and handyman Joe "Drop Cloth" Young. On our very first podcast episode, we go around the horn (trumpet sound, joking) and share a little bit about ourselves. We discuss r/SkipFreakouts, Joe's double bankruptcy, and Dwayne's contribution to the Pepto Bismol jingle. Stay tuned for what parts of the resort are closed this week, one of which directly impacts our location residing 300 feet off an 80 mph interstate.
Welcome to Last Resort, the podcast where billionaires jets setters eat pray lovers in a family of five just looking for a nice getaway, can tune in to get the inside scoop on the going goings on. Of the hundred and twenty fourth best off beach, Gulf Coast vacation spot in the beautiful US of a, subtle shores, resort, and buffet.
Now did we go down? We're one two four now?
Yeah. I checked
or one two four.
I checked the stats this morning. We've dropped down to one two four, but
what's the name of the the company that's ranking? JD Power. Right? Is it JD
i think only the associates do
just the associates.
I think it's just the associates do the
because JD powers, of course, for automobiles, but the associates are out do an all kind of rank.
Yeah. The associates
because that's all the associates the other day dropped by, and I was like, I think that's the associates.
Yes. Yeah.
I mean well, the issue was, the associates thought they were getting no credit. Yeah. They they felt like the and associates was offensive and so they said to JD Power, we're gonna start rating something.
Yeah.
And they started rating the hotel service industry
Mhmm.
yeah.
--
cruise ships and -- Buffays elevators. -- buffets elevators. Elevators.
--
You could elevator.
But only elevators that take you to a nice place. Yeah. Not an elevator
in the building.
They're like the Michelin Star. They're like the Michelin of the Resort.
So they split up with J d power.
They did. It's actually now associates and in parentheses no J d power.
they they didn't mention JD. They mentioned.
So
They mentioned Which to me It's representing You're not broken up, my friends.
Yes.
And just to everybody who's listening, we're still ranked on the list. So come on down
and enjoy a great family time
yes.
--
yes.
--
Of
at subtle shore.
--
course, this is the first episode of the podcast. I, of course, am Scott Skip Powell. I am the hotel manager, concierge.
You gotta just tell one name at a time. Alright. You'll always introduce yourself with two first names.
Nobody's called you, Scott, in fifty years.
I'm aware of that, but I just wanna make sure if people are
looking at
the old age, Did I just age you?
Don't he age just
no. You did. I'm fifty seven years old. Last time I was called Scott was when I was seven.
And you went Berserk at your party.
I did. I did. Of course, me and my brother Sydney here's mom
--
that's me. -- put Scott on the birthday cake, and I lost it. Pin the tail on the donkey. Nope. Pin the tail on the Donna.
Absolutely. You put Scott on
the cake.
Yeah. Absolutely. And then I also put the blindfold on him, spun him around and said, they're the donkey pointed him towards Donna. Wow.
So it wasn't even that you were mad. You were trying to take your rage out on the donkey and your brother framed you. Being framed at such a young age.
This is the story of my life, folks. If anybody if you go And
that was our mom's first tattoo.
Yeah? What? Stick and poke.
And I'll yeah.
Was an ink on it. There was ink on it.
There was what? There was ink
on the tail.
I dig I Oh,
it was a sticking part.
It was Angelique.
It was Angelique.
It was Angelique style
sort of
--
mhmm.
well, it was actually Donna style, then Angelina Jolie saw she was at the party.
Yeah. Jolie was peeking over the head, and got the stick and poke
idea from Don. Our famous neighbor, Angelie and Jolie was peeking over the hedge. She saw me give a stick and poke to my mother, Donna. Almost every But she
didn't know what it was. She said, that's interesting. Yeah. Because it looked like a constellation, she said.
Yeah. Yeah. So this was fifty years ago?
It was indeed. Almost the
Almost of the day.
other day.
So she's also seven.
Yeah. So she's fifty seven. I did not know that.
I find all of this unbelievable. Well, It's unbelievable to hear. I mean, you gentlemen. I the your lives. Wow. I Yeah. I'm a little worried, again, you promised me I would be associated with anything kind of on the darker side.
No. No. No.
And you opened up the podcast with beating up your mother. I mean, I have an image here to protect.
Dwayne Dwayne, we are We get nervous in front of celebrities.
So you'll have to excuse us.
Yeah.
Well, you know, we've known each other long enough. It's been a a a year or so putting this together. You know what? Be nervous around me. Yeah. I mean, sure. I am the Dwayne Newman that you all know from several of my crooning Christmas hits.
Which we trust me, me and the
misses before we had our
issues were we were front row. I mean, you gotta recognize my face. I mean, you you said you did the about a year ago.
Oh, I never forget a front row fan. I I memorize every front row fan's face the first time I saw you. I I said, Indianapolis ninety nine through -- Yes.
--
two
thousand seven every year I came through Indianapolis. You were front row dressed to Santa Claus.
that was before you and the wife got into a fight?
What that
Well, that was one of the things she cited during the fight. Why you always dress like Santa?
I am personally.
So it was always. So it was just coincidental that I was putting on a Christmas
well I got aside with her. I got aside with her. That's weird.
bro code, my friend. I mean, I don't know what you gentlemen do, but where I come from, bro code, you never side with the wife. You side a friend no matter what they're doing, dressing the same as three Thank you.
Hey, bro
Thank you
for saying I can understand what she's going through.
Yeah. The bro code is long and deep and problematic. And
counts for sixty year olds. Yes.
It does. Yes. It does. But skip, anyway
no. Let's move on. We've we've I I know. Yeah. I'm the hotel manager. You know, I I won't say I'm the idea guy here, but I am the I am one of the sort of facilitators of all things, subtle short.
Tater, salad, facilitator. Are you You're you're I'd say you're the facilitator seller. Sydney
just saw this morning Ron White special where he said,
hey, to them. Have you guys seen this thing? Oh my god.
It is
almost two decades ago.
So funny. Taters salad. Funny.
Of course, the voice you're hearing there is my brother, Sydney Powell.
Yay. That's right. Sydney, captain Powell, to you, even brother. Captain Powell. I I sail the boats. I run the charters. I'm also the in charge of the locker that has all the surfboards and kayaks.
You're you're the excursions guy.
If you wanna have a good time here at subtle shores, you're hanging out with Sydney.
Now is that normal that not only do you captain the ships and do the tours, but you are the one people have to go through to get the key to the the surfboards and the kayaks and everything like that.
I will say I'm spread a little thin.
Yeah. The
locker is a little is close to the dock So I said, hey, I got this and the number of surfers and kayakers has blown me away. Mhmm. It has been way I thought I'd get two, three kids you know, from each, you know, family weekend, something like that. I got lines around the beach.
Shocking me. Shocking me too. And then I found out what was happening. Is that the surfboarders and the kayakers are having a bit of a turf war.
Yeah. Well, it's tough, you know, we sort of we like to put out a anything goes vibe as soon as you step foot outside of the hotel resort.
Yeah.
And it's just really caused anarchy on the beach.
Yeah. I saw a surfer get slapped across the table by a six foot oar. Absolutely. Right right right across the face.
Absolutely.
And a a a a a fight ensued of really tanned up men with melanoma versus kind of strappy sandals -- Uh-huh.
--
bearded
folks. Well, we've had a couple of deaths. We've had a couple of surfboard fin slices to the throat. We've had a couple of stabbings with ore -- It's unbelievable.
You know? I again must slow you down here. My whole premise here was I would be the face of the resort and beyond the podcast with to sell the resort.
And right
now, we've already talked about murders on the property before.
Accidental deaths, Dwayne.
We've talked about freedom. We've talked about letting the surfers do what they need to do to get a ride.
here's what I'm gonna say. If you are responsible for every accident that happens in front of you, we all deserve a life sentence. Because I'll tell you what, if you haven't seen
And
i'll agree to that.
If you haven't seen
put me away for life.
Yes. If I have to take responsibility for every single accident that happens in front of me, then I deserve the chair because, honestly, you've met
you test fied over three thousand times.
And you've tested the chair before.
Right. They they let me test the chair a low dose. They said a low dose test. I sat in the chair. They let you.
So you wanted me.
I won a contest, a radio sweepstakes, to test a new chair, and it was great.
One zero four point three is fucked up lately. Yeah. And I don't mean to say the f word in front of you, Dwayne.
Well, you know what? I know
you're squeaky clean. I'm squeaky I have a squeaky clean. Never. You are cleaner than Will Smith. Is that correct?
That's right. I I've challenged Will Smith to make it we did a clean off. To put out albums just to see who was cleaner. And by the end, mine was baby noises. It was mean to making baby noises over soft.
So you guys were one upping each other all the way down to baby noise. Yes.
Well, your album, a a crooner who's cooing, was, honestly, It it was a pretty big seller in the baby market.
Well, video for that album. Just bird sitting in a nest.
Yeah. I mean, we got that was G that directed that video music video director and Charlie's angels director, Mick G. We got him in to do the bird's cooing and that was one Will Smith threw in the towel and said, I'm gonna kind of lock up, get rich and crazy for twenty years and call you. And he's been succeeding very well at that.
He sure has.
And and by Fitas, actor. The guy has charisma, and one thing I'd love to do here is just tell all the Hollywood stories you'll let me tell
--
--
oh, yeah.
with all the people I've met. I mean, Ron White, You can't fix stupid. You can't fix that guy's car. A thing about raw White is his car is always breaking down. We sort
of They
nurse outwards.
It's more than that guy. It's such a weird Hollywood fact. It's not juicy.
It's almost like, when you tell Hollywood facts, it's like, are these real?
Yeah. Oh, well, let's just say I opened for the blue collar guys in Reno and What?
The door?
And And they're like,
you open the door for I'm
the face of this business. Okay? I'm huge. You are. Don't know body jokes? No.
Yeah. You're a little over here.
It's weird that all of your Hollywood facts are kind of a take off of their of of
a piece of art.
Yeah. Or You can't fix stupid, you can't fix his call. It always lines up perfectly like It also sounds to
me like a lot of your Hollywood stories come from you having done a favor for that person. Well in cars or
yeah. Well, I guess that paints me in a pretty positive light. Obviously, you know, Jay Leno, Jaywalking, the guy does not wait for the little green man when he crosses the road, and that's a Hollywood fact. Who?
I've Who? I've
who? The that the gumby?
Yes. Well, in all celebrities have a gumby that shows them when they can cross the road.
Okay, Dwayne. You have had too too many My Ties out here by the pool. We are out here by the pool, though.
But by the pool, we make the My Ties strong here at Settle Shores Resort and buffet. Which we really There was I would say a fifty fifty split on a buffet should be in the name of of venue. Well,
people like to know that they're gonna get their money's worth. Okay? And this this resort is sort of the first sort of all you can eat, all you can do, all inclusive.
All you do.
All you can do we'll let you do as much as you can. People are
All you can do.
passing out here. They're running around trying to do so much. Yeah.
There's people there's people having real emotional breakdowns here. And but but but but but come visit.
Yeah. And I do have to say. We've gotten around the horn here. I do wanna introduce the I'll say the greasiest man around.
And that's a compliment. You're a blue collar fellow, which I love about you
That's right.
him, salad.
and -- For
--
of course. I mean,
yes, they're dangerous.
But Joe Young,
yes. Hi. My name is Joe Young. Everybody calls me drop cloth. I am a handyman here at Settle Shores. I I'm, of course, an investor, and I'm happy to be here on the podcast. I didn't think podcasting would be something that I would be involved in, but I think it's good for our resort here.
Yeah. A lot of people see you and and hear you say investor and they're like, you're lying. There's no way this greasy drop cloth guy has any cash.
Well, listen. I I hear those insults, and I think these people are being very forward when they approach me and they say stuff like this at asses and straight to my face. You're greasy ass isn't an investor, is it? And I say, rude. And and then, of course, I, you know, I buy something from the person who just insulted me. But, I mean, I, you know, as you guys know, I'm a collector, and I sold all my matchbox cars. Right.
One of the largest matchbox car collections
in
in the world. Yes. Yeah. The associates
actually came by and raided my As largest, largest,
the associates. Now now this is
where I will take issue with the associates. Is now they're hoarding in on Guinness's turf?
No. The yeah. They are, and they're going after Guinness. Yeah. They're going after Guinness. Done, JD.
Well, did you see what they rated Guinness as far as book go very low.
Yes. They rated
worst in its book class. Worst in its book class, the associates gave Dennis.
And associates do have more of class than Guinness. Guinness has more of a kind of a crappy association, associates in putting something in a class,
the word -- Yes.
put class, not
--
longest nails
just
right.
--
it is the twins who are the biggest on a bike in their class situation. Uh-huh.
--
Exactly. The associates are really it's more of a hard copy thing that you're thinking of. It's not a flip around soft copy.
Oh, you won't find associates in like a free health clinic. But if you go to a fancy doctor in Beverly Hills, like me or like Whoa.
We got our first little crew in there. That was our first little croon on me.
I see a doctor in Beverly Hills.
And now this is something you
the end of all your sets. Right? You just sort free associate songs.
see at
I riff a little bit on my own life and there they I I a lot of people call them brags, but I think people wanna see the inside window -- Mhmm.
--
of a celebrity's life.
and for a long time you've been kept outside of the inside window of a celebrity.
Yeah. Well,
Okay well that's for different people to judge but I will say that I have toured and my albums have sold. And I am recognized around the world.
Of course.
And I'm just trying to sell -- That's true.
--
i'm just trying to sell the vibe of subtle shores. We are not
i see. Snooty. No. We are not.
We are not above it all. We'll take Wayne Newton's less successful brother. And And by take, I mean, display problems.
Guy and put on the billboards. We spent a lot of money on these billboards with your face on
them.
Wait. Our are you Wayne Newton's brother? Because your name's Dwayne Newman.
Well, I told you something after a few cocktails.
I don't know if that's true.
Secrets a secret is Save with me. And now, it's the first thing you said on
I apologize. And I apologize.
the podcast.
And now,
it is true. I'm Wayne
--
really?
younger brother and I changed my name to Dwayne newman.
Taters salad.
What was your name originally? Shane Shane Newton. Wayne Knight. Wayne
knight, which has nothing to do with a singer.
No. No. But it's
got something to do with Neumann. Yeah. It's got something to do with Neumann.
Well, you all remember our duet album something to do with Neumann. Which was
who's due at? You and Wayne? Or are you in -- Kramer?
--
wayne. You and Joseph Grammer.
Me and Kelsey Grammer, what I call Kramer?
Chelsea Kramer? Chelsea Kramer.
So Chelsea Kramer and Dwayne Newman did it do that about Norman from Seinfeld, featuring Kelsey Grammer called.
Something to do about Neumann.
Something to do about Neumann. And
that And bombed? This was your first big bomb. For me, Artagio Lexus.
Art doesn't bomb. Do you know what I mean? Art is what telling a story. And so financially it bombed and it put me in debt because But
you but you became pretty wealthy from the tongue twister of it all. They would use it in English class. Right?
Yes. So They licensed your tongue twister. Well, sadly and this is a Hollywood story that I wanna tell to everybody. And we do have shopper coming in.
That I think somebody's getting airlifted off of the That's
beach because they
they did too much. Everything you can do. Yeah.
They're exhausted. That's a Metavac.
Well, no. That's the Metavacuum, isn't it?
Oh, that is.
Oh, they're
just eating up the beach.
Folks, that's right. We do have our own meta vacuum. Our our place has gotten too messy for humans to clean up. So once a day, the medical vacuum comes in and sucks it all up off the scene.
And the vacuum company Shark has bought up a bunch of mobile a helicopter ambulance
that's right.
--
--
and they're
something up the beaches.
And we should say, I feel like this is a first time for us to sort of to get
they suck up the beaches. They spit out what's good and they keep what's bad.
It is probably important for us to to to to mention here that the beach here, we do we we The beach is not close to this resort. It is it is a bit of a drive, and you do have to get to the beach, but we do own a bit of the beach here. So you can when you come here, you have access to beach, and we will shuttle you there. It's a quick thirty minute bus ride.
Yeah.
You get to the beach, you do your swimming, you come back to the resort, and it's beautiful and fun.
But then everybody loves that bus ride back from the beach to the place. Mhmm. Everybody loves that. Mhmm. It's it's sweaty, hot
it's a wonderful time for people who like to be hunched over.
Yes. And, you know,
it gets a little chilly near the end of the day. So, of course, on the beach ride home, we put all the windows up, we turn on heat. We know we know you need to be comfortable -- Yeah.
--
and I fellas, I feel like the more we describe the situation here
--
the the less of a surprise it'll be. So maybe we can leave some of that -- Yeah.
--
right.
That's right.
--
up to the audience. Because if I'm out there listening right now what I've been sold is a dangerous resort beach resort that's a half hour ride from the beach -- No.
--
with a buffet, which, by the way, We should say, the buffet is a limited buffet. Well,
you can eat all all the It
is all we think you can eat.
All you all we think you can eat
and also Which is not very much.
Also, one there's one main entree every every night and and and one side dish One one grain.
And nightly, Andre is beef?
Yes. Yes. We went big
--
yeah. -- with the with the man Well, Dwayne loved it. Dwayne loves We must have the man cutting beef in the In that big chef's hat?
We need the man cutting the beef in the hat, and then the man next to him pouring a little Salisbury sauce on that Salisbury steak. Which is
oh, raspberry
beef. Yes.
Legally. Legally, we have not been licensed to buy steaks of meat. We've only been able to be licensed to buy ground.
So
yes. In in in the area around subtle shores, much like a taxi license or a selling in Central Park license. You have to get a license that costs thousands of dollars to sell steak. We're still in line for that.
And we are we found out that Big Beef is incredibly litigious.
That's whoa, another little second company. Set seven PM show, which, Dwayne, your thanks for squeezing this in, but you are doing the seven PM tonight.
Yes. That was from incredibly litigious. And my seven PM show the lawsuit hour. So it's every it's a little denny's ever written about every lawsuit I've been a part of -- Mhmm.
big claims, small claims, And you know, people know this but if you're a recording artist, you're gonna get sued. My friend, Dolly, frequently -- Mhmm. -- Dolly,
--
lama, Salvador.
We don't know.
Dolly Pardon, my friend.
Oh. Oh, Dolly Pardon.
Pardon my mistake.
Thought you were talking about a children's toy.
Skip, you and I have had countless misunderstandings already.
I I thought we
were gonna get along the best because, of course, we were such good friends growing up.
Mini crew.
Minigrain vote. That's
that's three cards. Oh, I know. I listen. This is my first this is my first real foray into a business venture like this. I used to be a property manager in a in a I own some apartment complexes. Please don't Google me and apartments.
Yeah. Doctor Google, skip in apartments or
don't Google you or car. Don't Google you or I would say don't be all skip.
Yeah. Don't Google skip skip.
I'd skip, what what do you offer here? Because I feel like this podcast is really to sell people oncoming.
Right? Listen. We've we listen folks.
You don't need to sell me. I'm coming. We're gonna cut We'll cut that. That was a little dirty. That was a little blue. That's one of those jokes I would tell.
I'll tell you where that fits, jade or sour over. That fits right in the blue collar out. Have you guys seen this?
Yes.
Yes. We saw it. Captain We saw it.
I don't know if you know this, Captain. I love that you're a fan things, but you never actually tell us what you like about something. You ask if we've seen it, then you say the thing and then you just keep saying it.
Well, have you seen it? It is funny. And and I'll tell you, I'm on the see a lot. So I don't always catch the most recent.
Mhmm. Yes. You are a little behind.
Yeah. You'll you'll you're you're kind of like one of the you're like the human equivalent of like an Airbnb DVD DVD collection, where it's,
like
very good.
There's, like, there's, like, ten Bluraiser DVDs from fifteen years ago, then you're, like, oh, yeah. I'll watch Little Big League
--
right. -- which I just saw by the way. That is great film.
Yeah. It's really good.
Fun film.
But, no, folks, this whole podcast we started this podcast. Obviously, you know, money's important. It's important to make money. And a resort like this costs a lot of money to keep going. We found out recently that there is a there's potential for a a a a hostile takeover, quote unquote, from a a major conglomerate who was looking to purchase the land, and we said, you know what? We're gonna turn things around. We're gonna turn subtle shores into the number one or number two best off beach resort in the Gulf Coast. And and you give us a couple weeks and we will come back and we will be better than ever. So this podcast, you could say this is a new sort of promo tool. Every week, we're gonna get together we're gonna talk about what's going on here at the at the resort. Good things going on. We're and also, we're gonna give you a sampling of the type of thing you'll hear if you come down to the pool That's right. To miles DJ.
We've got miles DJ. DJ miles Miles. Yeah. Yeah. And he is really spinning the hits at the aboveground pool that we have in the back, which you could come in sun at, and it's a swim up bar.
But what again, I told you guys, the pool will settle, and it will be an ingress. Because we are on a weird patch of land here, which Most things do seem to sink -- Yeah.
--
in a in a in a slanted way, so we will even have a deep end.
But I don't think this is bad, but it is a native American burial record. I, you know, and that's not the bad but it does come with its challenges.
It's it is an everything burial ground. It wasn't, you know, over the history, the Salem witches were ended up being buried here. Mhmm.
It's also a pet cemetery.
Pet cemetery? Mhmm.
Also, Hitler Gilbert Greg.
Let's see. Gilbert Greg. Gilbert Greg was he mere? He was.
But I I I I we gotta go back to skip. You know, Skip, I gotta thank you for putting this whole thing together.
Thank you
so much. Is the dealmaster. He found this resort, and we got it for pennies on the dollar. A hundred and five pennies for every dollar So we got a slightly bad deal, but we figured we could turn it around.
We paid five percent over.
Right. Now hold on.
Which we
you don't know what over until someone comes in in the value. Yes.
We did the deal at a currency exchange in the airport, and we would turns out that was a bad idea.
I'll tell you what, because we got screwed twice.
We got screwed twice. Right. And it's somebody who
well, because you had to switch the money from the dinar,
which you
got screwed on. Mhmm. And then after that, once it was American dollars, they screwed you on the one Well,
and if you thought I accidentally switched to American the first time, you're wrong.
No. It
went from Dennard to repeat. Repeat to Iran and then America. Wow. So you took -- USD.
and you actually made a a ton of money from Rupita Yuan.
--
Huge money. Unfortunately, lost it in the USD transfer.
Yeah. You gotta be careful at those currency exchanges, folks.
Well, yeah. You guys play the exchanges like the stock market.
Well, we get slammed and we pull a stool up to them anytime we're in a a nice see
the lights on those things. It's it's it's like a slot machine.
I feel like to me it looks just like a light break. It's like a few little lines.
I know. Right? I know. I know. It's awesome.
It's awesome. Yeah. I I do wanna thank you for for bringing us all together for this for this
let's be honest, skips the ringleader.
He's the
one taking care of everything. If you need something while you're here, you go straight down to the concierge desk and and skip is either there or just behind in a in a room right behind
the And, of course, I did. This week, put my personal cell phone number inside each of the rooms. If you don't find me at the concierge desk, please feel free to text call, FaceTime, whatever mode of communication you prefer, and I will do literally anything you need because, folks, we want subtle shores to be subtle subtle in every way other than service.
That's
right. We want to we want to come in above the bar. We wanna set the bar high, and then we wanna come in above it. So if you if you need anything for me, do not hesitate, to call me, to text me, or or or FaceTime, as I said.
And
your FaceTime on your phone is set up to auto autically go through.
It answers immediately. Yeah. It's a it's a single ring answer, automatic answer.
So you've I because I've got you a few times on the old Twilight. If you know what I mean. Yep.
And that's fortunate. That's why, of course, I have sort of I have remodeled the bathroom in my suite that I live in with my wife and my son. Reem out of my bathroom so that it looks like I'm sitting at a desk when I'm on the toilet.
Just in case.
Yeah. Just in case somebody if I have to answer a FaceTime there, While I'm on the commode, I can I can make it seem like I'm just doing a little bit of work?
Now speaking of your son, I don't know if this is where you were going. But did he end up cleaning up those marbles?
I told him to. I told him to, and guys, I'll tell you this, please, this goes out to anybody who's staying here as well. If my son becomes anymore, any a menace to any of you, just know that you can you can bring that to me, and I'll deal with it. His punishment will be swift and severe.
Well, I of course, old mister Wilson in in room thirty b has been incredibly frustrated with his son.
Right. And, of course, I did give him a discount on his room, which is why he's chosen to stay here for quite
so long. That's a fantastic sell on the place. Yeah. If if Yipson, it it it does anything discouraging or ruins your day in any way. We'll give you a little discount Right.
Yeah. And it's that's nice
Right. Right.
for Wilson because he can peek his head over the fence.
It gives him nice advice. Yes.
He could throw the the volleyball. It's great. And honestly, guys, listen. This is another thing. Call me if my son ever does anything. Just text me, say, Say, hey, Skip. Dennis did this. Dennis did that. Dennis put glue on my doorknob. Dennis put sugar in the gas tank on the
i'll say this. Dennis hit me in the testicles the other day with a sling shot.
No kidding.
And it really hurt.
Well, a lot of people have taken to call him Dennis The lunatic because he is being Absolutely.
I know. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're dealing with it. There it therapy is hard to come by when you're when you spend so much time working. But me and my wife
are Take away your whole family's therapy budget. I did to put it into so subtle.
Yeah. And well, that was the remodel budget for the bathroom to turn the bathroom into a a working office.
Was That's a fantastic choice. That's a the only thing a head shrinker ever got me was a divorce. The these guys are just ripping you off through and through.
Now, what was your experience?
With the head shrinker?
Yeah. Well, I think therapist.
Well, you know, I think we're from different times, you know, where we come from me, Frankie, do
you know? You guys have the same birthday.
Sorry?
Same birthday, you too.
You're right. We're same age.
Well, yeah. I think just era wise, you know. I yeah. I'm I I have an old soul. I feel from that era, you know. Yeah. Mhmm. And back in the day, we would call them headshrinkers or
what's that mean to you head shrinker?
They make I don't know. They're shrinking your head in there, I guess, making it all tiny like one of those bad guys in the Mario Brothers film with John Wizamo. Right. Well, speaking of drama like Wizamo, this
you really can't talk about your marriage, can you? You really can't. Because every time we try to about it or get to something, you always sort of go into act mode.
No. Well, the things ended up fantastically between us and she's a lovely lady and she's gone on, of course, to Mary Michael Bube.
Yeah. That's gotta be tough.
Not at all. Not at all. Well, maybe yeah. Maybe for him.
Okay. So you didn't end things so wonderfully.
Well, no. And I love the hell out of her, and we have three beautiful sons from her from our marriage. From her.
I think from her was the truth.
Well, no. No. I you know, we had those children together and they're from the marriage and the, you know, the sons who I'm speaking to were very close.
And Bube pays the lease on your car. Right? Well, yeah.
We It's
a Kia Rio and I hit
a little snag and so yeah. The Booblamo Beal is
well, yeah.
It does promote his most recent album.
Yeah. It's got one of those bright things on the top of it. So you try Well,
i like to think that we're friends and we do the same thing for each other. And I'm sure he'll do the same for me when when I get my
cell phone out. Already refused to put our billboard on his car.
Well, we keep we keep trying
to get him down here to perform maybe a duet or something.
Second stage, baby?
No. I told you who I'll do duets with, and buble, I don't really wanna do one with him at the end of the day. I mean, the guy is hack. You wouldn't know a you wouldn't know how to crew to work Christmas.
Oh, but you do cover still haven't met you yet.
Yeah. My biggest cover. It's the what's made me the most
and I'll tell you this, Duane, I'm gonna tell you this. We did get the list of people that you'd
be comfortable doing this. Okay. So your biggest cover, what does that mean?
We well, the one Most popular. Yeah. The most popular one. Most
requested, maybe.
At the top of the billboard That's gotta
be stuff too when keep requesting to you for so like
well, like Dave Chapel, I got tired of my audience yelling out my hits at me. Right. And so I also
well, that would yell some of his hits here too.
Yes. Well, I did Rick James, bitch, a lot
on tour. Yeah. You were sued by Comedy Central.
Well, I
was sued by Comedy Central. I was sued by Chapel, and then Will Smith called me and said, beat you because I was saying bad words. Oh,
wow. Bummer.
That's what But I'll tell you I'm
gonna tell you this, Dwayne, we got the list of people you'd be Hey, Edward, DJ Miles.
DJ Miles coming in hard with some rock and roll. Thank you, DJ Meyer.
And DJ Miles. Again, no consistency from song to song is what we're asking for, and you're really nailing it back there.
Yes. Go ahead and hit us with the computer sound.
I like how it gets on. It's almost like when you're working out and you're doing muscle confusion. Uh-huh. You can never let your body know what's gonna happen next, once it gets used to it. That's why I do an a different drug every morning.
Well, and that and it actually makes a lot
of sense.
It makes a lot of sense when you take into account your sort of entertainment your your or your excursion schedule.
Absolutely.
You never famously, have never done the same two excursions twice.
That's right. That's right. You always have to change it up a little bit because folks, this is a place you can spend a whole week of your life.
And you should.
You can come down here, get some wonderful care, some pretty good food, and a and a great time out on the water. And then the next day, you can get more wonderful care, some pretty good food. And a great time just at the beach. Mhmm.
You
know? We also have a private island that we're allowed to sail past and say hello to all the people having Yes.
Now the private island is really interesting themed. There's a bunch of detectives out there. Yes. They kinda
oh, yeah. It's a private island. Yeah. And so there are a bunch of dick solving crimes over there.
It's really fun. It's sort of our
themey thing. It's actually where we sunk the most money, and we pay thirty actors to play private detectives and just sort of run around an island solving crimes and
things like that. Get into it. They are professional.
We got a few gum shoes. We got a few other old detectives. Yeah.
We got a couple of these Time is a flat circle kinda sorta
--
oh, yeah.
true detective kinda guys who are just drinking beers sitting staring at sand for ten hours.
You're gonna love true detective once you get to that era of What
is that?
Well, you'll you'll see.
You'll see.
Daters salad. Yep.
But, yeah, we
daters salad. Here's your sign.
I will say, Captain Powell, you have been looking more and more exhausted as time goes on. And I wanna say, I'm a little concerned,
know, just for everybody. And and for you, just to make sure that the your, I guess, your night and morning habits aren't taking over the work. No. Okay.
you
Not at all. I do a You do have
a different drug every morning.
Well, to go to bed, I take a big barbiturate. Because I gotta get to sleep. Right.
And
then every morning because I'm so hungover sleepy wise, I take six adderalls, and that gets me on the boat. But then I'm just cleaning. I'm cleaning the boat. I'm trying to charter -- You're doing your homework. I'm doing my homework. I'm obviously cutting my hair. I'm buying new sweaters.
Obviously, your online shopping, cutting your hair.
To to cool myself out, I take a big swan dive into the ocean, and then I'm ready to start the day -- Yeah.
--
after an eight ball of cocaine. But I've always been a guy who's on the sea attacking the waves crushing the white caps.
And I'll tell you this, Sydney. I I would be hesitant to hire a drug addict to work at my resort. Of course. You weren't actually capable of of maintaining.
The drugs have nothing to do with my sailing skills. No. It's a separate thing.
Even the sea life is tough on a man, and, you know, sometimes you have to give your body what it needs to It's a lovely life. Out there on those deep sea crab boats, They're doing tons of drugs.
That's But the but the TV shows are cutting it up.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know how many hours of footage are on the cutting room floor of deadliest catch.
Yes.
why do
Those guys
you think those guys all look like?
They're on speed. Well
yeah. Well, a lot of people don't know. The reason they're out there catching those crabs is because you can crush up barnacles and get a crack cocaine high. And that's all they want from those crabs. Absolutely. And there happens to be a byproduct of selling them to restaurant and stuff, but they wanna do cocaine barnacles.
And I don't wanna distract from the drug talk, but the other issue, the reason they're adding up on the cutting room floor is a lot of crabs end up in the editing room. Well, they're they're still shooting on They're upset in
the way that they're portrayed.
Well, that's what's crazy.
This Well, Scorsese's directing them.
Yes. The craziest thing is a crab pitched deadliest catch. That was a crab bitch.
Think about it. Of course, a crab is gonna say it's the deadliest catch.
That's the most badass And that grabs
feeding its whole family off of that.
It's an honest grabs work.
It is
it's an honest grabs work.
We
were a hundred percent.
I would never sell out my family to be eaten or my race to be eaten or caught so I could make a few bucks.
I wouldn't either. I love my family.
Just to be fair, you did do that to your family.
I guess, I don't see it that way.
You set up a bunch of crooners. For your betterment.
Okay. Well, there obviously was the most delicious singer, which I
and rest in peace, Harry Conic Junior.
Our IP. Yes. Well
oh, yes. The Harry Conic you know is a is a impersonator. The real one got slurped up.
I will say that's more yeah. That is more a resting smoothie for her for her character.
Again, RAS.
Yeah. Also, I I I'm hesitant to even say rest at that point. Like like
yes. It was not a very restful way that he went down. He went down. He did go down beautifully, I will say.
Banana. Orange peanut butter, strawberry, and peanut butter,
so far. Orange and peanut butter. Yep. It was yummy.
The Harry Conic That's what they called it at Jamba. Yeah. They come in. Yeah.
Make it to Jamba.
Yeah. We partnered with Jamba, which I've made a pretty penny on. So there are ways that I have sold out my people, I guess. But I would never, you know, that was different, you know, that was different because it was, I guess, me. And at the end of the day
the number three.
Number four I'll tell you what, guys.
This is act actually pretty low. He's normally grinning way.
Yeah. Don't blow the seven PM show. Now we need you out.
Well, yeah. This is and, of course, there's the eight PM crew conversation afterwards where I do a little chat back with my audience?
And now will you take the if if they ask questions, will you take non singing questions? Like, if they're not singing, will you actually answer the question? Because I know that there's been some issue where people didn't feel comfortable singing their questions to you and you I'll
answer that question the way I heard it and the way you said it. First of all, I will not, and I have been very clear about this tickety nazi question. Even if sung. And then beyond
any not singing questions. It's not If you wanna ask me a question not singing, come to the nine o'clock conversation. But if you come to the current conversation, that's all crooning questions.
that, I will also not take
Are you still doing the late night croon at noon? It's at midnight, but it had to rhyme to make sense.
It's at midnight, but we set the clocks back twelve hours.
And those are not twenty four hour clocks. They're just regular. No.
It's a regular twelve hour clock boat. So wherever it comes in, we say, twelve, back to twelve. Yes. And then Go to the crew at noon. We turn up the heat. We get we turn up the heat in there, so it feels like they're in bright sunlight. And everybody eats
--
--
a classic noon meal. We sell club sandwiches.
right.
Okay.
Nothing like a midnight dry club scene.
That's right. Right. Now, Skip, I I wanna talk a a bit about this. On the air because one thing people like about on the air when I'm listening to podcasts, which I'll do every now and again, is a little honesty. And I think one thing you could be honest about How's your anger management class going?
Anger management class? I've unfortunately been busy. So I I missed last week, and I missed the week before. But I went to the first one, and I got You've
been busy fighting in the street. Well, that Right. Well, I okay. You've been fighting locals?
Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's take let's take a minute right here. Okay? Arguing is not fighting.
They renamed the public freakout's Reddit page after you. Right?
It's skip freakouts. Now r slash skip freakouts, I actually hey. The associates you should check this out. I actually, for one one full hour, was the entire first page of the r slash skip freakouts subreddit.
I'd hope so.
Well, you weren't for a little bit, and let's just say you weren't happy about it.
Yeah. And let's just say a little a little a a leak FaceTime with the moderator for r slash skip freak outs might have ended up on the the hottest the Hot page.
Yeah. Leeked into leaked FaceTime. That was another bathroom one where you were caught in the middle of
a t p.
Well well, listen. I look, look, it hurts to pee. So I'm already irritable. And so if Now you
say that, like, it's common knowledge.
Yeah. What?
It does not hurt everybody too.
Not all of us.
Well, if you if you guys had
my man, I gotta get you some CBD for that little dick of yours. You just rub it on a stick. You'll be fine.
We'll cut out this dick talk also.
Dick, dick. The tater salad. What? Are you afraid of what we're saying? People want real. I'm tired of us pretending we're this cookie cutter resort. Right. We're not sandals. We're real guys.
Look. I love you being yourself on here, but I've got an image to maintain also. The baby market cannot hear me talking like this. My cool albums are still number twenty five on the bye bye baby
in California five. Are not discerning. They will buy your crap no matter what.
Okay. I'm going to pretend she didn't say that because we have a professional relationship together and I don't want it to be ruined like some of my other professional relationships.
But, no, I I plan to continue these anger management requests.
You know what? If you're gonna if you're gonna
warm a cold mood.
Croon, please don't do it with your hot breath in my face. That is not being cool.
Okay. Well, I'm sorry, your face is so close to my hot mouth.
Well, I'd love to take you on a sailing trip.
We should we should actually probably talk I
gotta say real quick. What are you gonna say real quick? You cannot use that insult because twenty five people have disappeared on your sailing trips.
And I would like to take you on a sailing Okay.
Well, I would like to go on one way.
We take one spin out past dead man's k, and you're gone.
I do oh, by the way, dead man's k?
Yeah. K. It's like an island.
I've never heard of a k.
K.
Oh, that's because you're inside the lounge all night loser. Come outside and live in the real world where the captains are.
I will walk. I'll walk in a second and then you'll have nobody's face to
I know you'll walk
eye on it.
because you're
at least. I can't is almost up.
We can't be fighting, guys.
I mean, come on. Let's get back
to you. I cannot have another investment go south. Okay? You always
calm us down drop cloth.
I was recently in Double bankruptcy, and I can't go back again. I cannot go back again.
And now for people who don't understand what double bankruptcy
you for people who don't understand, they do give you a brief chance to double down when you get to
it's based on Black Jack.
It's based on Black Jack. And you can roll the dice
and jump and craps. Yes.
And you can choose black or red
--
right.
this is just if you go bankrupt in Nevada or all over the country.
And And
This is anywhere you can you can you can do the double down deal.
Wow. Okay. So you double down on bankruptcy and what you get.
Loss. Lost. Lost. Lost.
Lost. You didn't split bankruptcy after that, did you?
Yes. Oh, no.
I split.
And you doubled again? You got an ace.
Spl it and I doubled. And then I was up
oh, so now you gotta walk away.
I couldn't walk. I was in the court, and I could not walk away. And I was like, I'm in a bet on how many jurors are coming out.
Well, and here's the thing after you won that one, you got a new judge. The judge got up, wiped their gavel down.
Yes. And
i obviously clapped his hands and showed that there was nothing in the sleeves.
We stood. We said, thank you. Of course, you're getting free drinks. You're getting drunker and drunker.
And everyone else goes, okay, you're in court. Everyone knows a jury is twelve people. There wasn't a mistake that just sped on twelve and you you couldn't do it.
I didn't believe I was like, I'm gonna go there was a crowd gathering.
Four hundred twenty seven jurors. They said that's that's they couldn't even have that many alternate. So then I quickly called a cirque du soleil, and I took my sentence, and I got a hell out of there.
Was what you bet.
Well, I just appreciate you drop cloth. Sometimes we do get a little We get moving a little fast.
Hey, listen. I didn't think anybody was going to knock on that construction trailer that I live in. You know, those trailers that have no windows and only a little unit, window unit, I live in one of those, but used to be a shipping container. Right? Used to be a shipping container.
Still lose by accident sometimes.
Yes. I just recently got back from Ireland. I was opened up. A lot of people thought it was gonna be cheese. And I said and I was waking up.
Because it's refrigerated.
Yes. Yes. I'm I I sleep hot. I run hot at night. You know these you know these mattress commercials where somebody's always like, and I run hot. They almost brag about how they, like, run hot at night. People are like, they love But we
all know men run hot.
Yes. I got a big hug and I run hot. Everybody knows that about me.
My little wife is freezing cold, and my dick's huge, and I'm hot.
I run hot at night. Big dig. People know that about me. I'm a real skinny guy. I'm one of those skinny guys with a huge hogs on them.
Every skinny guy. You've seen my
it is every it's every skinny guy.
Hate these skinny guys. They all have such big dicks.
room and you see some thin shoulders and the guy's tall. Get ready for a hug, folks. It's there there. It's a skinny guy.
Listen, when you're in a locker
Oh, we're gonna cut all this
they're there.
Well, listen, I'm sorry to wake. Doane?
Well, I I've heard it all before, you know. I toured with Don Rickles. The guy tore me to pieces, so I've heard this kind of talk before. But I can't be associated with.
He would try stuff out on you. Right? He got most of his act from you?
Yeah. I had to change my body for whatever Don Rickles was trying out for a while. So you'd be like, alright, I'm gonna make fun of you know, a guy with a a guy that's a little too overweight. So I'd gain weight that year and he'd make
a year and then he'd be like, alright, I'm gonna make fun of a woman who hates her husband so I'd become a woman and I'd marry a guy and I'd dislike him and be frustrated
an email
for that. And that
was my job. What I you do different things when you're coming up in Hollywood. And that was my job for a while as I was getting to know the biz.
Oh,
but now drop cloth while we're
on -- Yes.
while we're on your subject. Uh-huh. I think we should probably let everybody know. We do a lot of renovations around here adding in every week. You know?
--
Hang on now. Hang on now. Dwayne is Dwayne's chair is going.
I suck into the ground.
Okay. Now this is, of course, what we were talking about you, is this classic sinkage. We are in a sinkage area.
We're of course But
that's good news because the pool's gonna go down now. The pool is gonna go down just like your charity.
It's good. Because we're not only are we above a pet cemetery, but we're above a sewage.
Yes. The best in
this area have indoor plumbing.
It was a a prop that passed with flying colors for dogs on the toilet a couple years ago. We got out. We campaign. We campaigned hard for all that.
PPE. Prop PP.
ProPP.
And it did pass. So all of our animals have indoor plumbing with a septic system.
So And if you don't train your son
to lose use the toilet, it's animal cruelty. And you've been in prison for ten years.
You can? You can. Max sent in Mom
this guy, a lot of people are prop was very well funded by the private prison system.
Absolutely. A lot of people are saying it. I don't really see the connection.
Well, no. Because a lot of things are funded by private prison, my last three albums, you know. You get the money where you can in the business.
Hey,
you never know where the money comes from, but it's coming from
that's exactly right. You can't there's no What's the thing about capitalism? Taters have no
ethical consumption and capitalism, and that's true.
Yes. That's right.
But I but I disagree with that. You know what's ethical consumption in our place?
Makes sense,
the my grand did a big snort of toot when he said that, I should Shaileshores, Bay Lee.
Wow. Is that barnacle toot? You know it. Why do you think on the water all the time. Wow, barnacle two. Barnacle two. But, yes, we we
we have we should let
everybody know. We do there's closures and openings every week for for different sort of places around the resort that we were gonna probably have to announce to let people know what's closing and what's gonna be open back up around the resort.
Yes. I I'll do a quick closures, we're gonna close down the common area in the kind of the area between the elevator and the place where you check-in. The lobby.
Yeah. So the lobby's closed. The lobby's closed this week only currently and next week. The lobby is closed. We're gonna do a curbside check-in. Mhmm. Nice. We are closing the cul de sac. So the curbside chicken is gonna be street side.
The lobby.
And now that cul de sac, of course, is the is is
it's the one safe place to pull into the hotel.
Right. And it's also we have a three like a sort of or a three hundred yard sort of driveway up to that cul de sac to the nearest, which comes straight off the freeway. So So it is the exit. Yeah.
But you really need to hit the brakes when you exit here because we are at three hundred feet off of a eighty mile an hour interstate. So you need to you need to pipe down.
It's just like the jingle says, come to subtle shores, right off the interstate you'd need to hit the brakes.
Yeah. And thank you for recording that. That shot up the charts here.
It's it. Yeah. Not a lot. You don't end up on the charts with a jingle I think the last one was, of course, the pepto bismol, nausea, hyper and upset stomach and digestive diarrhea, which I wrote half of that and got no credit for.
Which yeah.
Diarrhea.
Well, but you don't
know if it's happened.
Write it for purpose. When you were overheard singing, you were overheard in a rush
as I heard it, you were in the in a public bathroom
in an airport. You think covering up the sound of diarrhea, crooning the word diarrhea is the way to cover it.
Skip this skip is right. You were in an airport when LA Reid had walked by right at that time.
Yeah.
Okay. You're discovery story is humiliating.
lot of things to speak to here first of all. Yes. If you can croon, crooning over an area is like audio version of lighting a match afterwards. It doesn't draw much attention to what what just happened in there. It only covers it up. And on top of that, You get discovered all sorts of ways. I mean, my good good good friend, Moby got discovered similarly. We are all made of stars. Was him trying to cover up a farts on a plane.
There's a
And and people were really confused when he was singing it. He's like, what is this?
Yeah.
Yeah. And you There was an agent from William Morris walking by once when you came too quick. Is that true? What
also in an airport bathroom, I will say.
Oh, yeah. Dwayne's been doing that way before politicians. Way before.
Oh, yeah. Dwayne is the original bad boy. Excuse me, nasty boy.
Okay. This is, again, all uncorroborated. What I was doing in that airport bathroom over here.
You're saying it didn't happen is not uncorrobor doesn't uncorroborate?
I have not corroborated the story.
Or because Chris Caraba won't work
with you anymore. Yes. Well, of
course, Chris Coraba italian buffet doing corroborators. Is that doing well? Because we're gonna have to shut it down next week.
Well, of course, we have several themed restaurants
--
yes. -- and
corroborators is just one of them. It is Italian people who affirm what you're eating. They agree that what's on your plate is, in fact, on
your plate
--
right.
--
and that they're seeing it go down.
Which
is good because in a lot of restaurants that not there's nothing worse than ordering something at a restaurant and then bringing out something else and you saying Nobody believes you.
Nobody believes you. No. When you order some linguine.
So we're
like, we're gonna have somebody there to corroborate. Have you? Then we We are gonna have to shut it down next week.
Well, because we've had we've had rudely people saying like, yeah, you got the pasta? Sure. I bet you got the beef. You know, they're not believing what people are having for dinner.
That's absolutely right. There's obvious Bucadae agreement?
Bucadae agreement, I must say, the service is slim.
You all have to order the same thing.
an agreement.
Well, there's certainly been
You better be in agreement with your party if you come in the book of the agreement. A lot of fights, family fights have happened there.
Right.
Yes. Well, and I'll say our staff poorly trained. They can't agree on one single thing.
Yes. The staff can't agree which it's a sets a bad example for the customers.
Exactly.
Now, Skip, I do wanna bring up something that you've mentioned that is is something we're all wrestling with, which is the bottom line here. Yeah. And what we are because
we all get a piece.
We
Yeah.
let's not sleep on it. A piece of the Everybody
and that's the way you get people to work hard is you you you you hinge their financial success on the success of the venture. And so for the ball We're
part of a commission.
Yes. First time in my life, I decided every employee who works at this resort is gonna get a piece of the pie. Okay?
And he's saying, are we
sold my peace?
Yes. And so each one of us is we are equally responsible for the success or failure of this business Because let's just say, if you're the only person who is responsible for the success or failure of a business, you're always gonna fail. And it's not it's again, don't
you're speaking from experience.
Is that
i yes. Okay.
I think
i should complete. But you
should complete on your story because I think something we all have in common is we have all had our fair share of failures.
It's true.
And I would like to want to talk about yours on on air.
Well, folks, yeah, you know, should get out ahead of the story. You're gonna Google, you're gonna Google skip Powell, and you are going to see the story. I, of course, owned a a sort of chain. You could call it of apartment complexes in Charlotte, North Carolina. You
i mean, it was a chain. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They were a classic sort of, like
they were sort of applebee's thing.
Fast Living is what I like to call it. You sort of go in, you order an apartment, you it comes fully furnished. It's exactly the way you want it. You you pick everything
out to you all.
It's living good in the neighborhoods. Living good neighborhood.
My I mean, my cousin stayed in a Blooming studio for a while, and I remember they really that when they were kind of in their transition phase.
Yeah. And but so I get mints afterwards if you sell. If you sell, you get
you know, you get a mint every night on your pillow.
That too.
Yeah. Yeah. You get extra mints. But anyway, so what you can see when you Google me?
You can draw on the sheets of the bed, which is fun.
You can. Oh, yeah. I that I'm glad that some people took advantage of that that feature.
Because
because I thought it was a great idea.
But anyway, DJ Miles.
You should all note what happened to those apartment complexes is not gonna happen here. Of course, after a freak explosion, the apartment's all caught on fire. And a lot of
people say
you could say that was the same thing.
Mhmm.
Oh, and the freak explosion was kind of where near where you did your, like, shooting practice, where you usually shot bottles, Coke bottles.
Yeah. Cocam?
Yes. Pain tanks.
Well, well, here's the thing, folks. I'll tell you this, be sure when you are picking targets.
Right.
If it's a propane tank, shake it first. Make sure there's nothing in there. Make sure it's empty. If it you gotta make
sure there's no flammable materials. But instead of going to anger management, you were shooting shit out back with a gun. Right?
To us? Because I'll I'll tell you. I came home one day. And you had about fifty blue rhinos lined up
yeah. -- just ready to lay.
--
Well, the brand spank in new blue rhinos And I don't know if people know this, but sometimes they blow up, but sometimes it just makes a hole in them and they shoot like rocks.
And I was gonna say, there's the the thing with the blue rhino is it's got such a satisfying ping when you shoot it with a low caliber bullet. It's honestly it's just it's a really soothing sound And it was a way that I sort of manage my stress. I, of course, did it in the basement of one of the apartments. And, unfortunately, due to zoning walls that I was unaware of -- It's got nothing to do with zoning. No. My apartment complexes were built too close to
each other.
The unfortunate thing is the heat rises, to be honest.
Yep. And the apartment complex is real
too much in the giant basement.
Well, I'm the owner. I can do what I want. I'll set
uh-oh. Here we go.
And I'll say
i'll say this the thing
that You know, I'm all alone. We all have peace of the pie. You are just a piece of the pie, my friend. Yeah.
You used to be full honor, but we've seen you can't handle that anymore, so we all get a piece of the pie twenty five percent of it.
I'll leave
it at this.
I'll leave it at this. If if there's no charges, you can't blame me. And so no charge is ever stuck.
So the And you still owe me
the money for killing that cop.
I cannot be a la la la la la. I didn't hear that.
We'll cut this out.
We'll cut this out.
Wait. This up.
We'll cut this out.
Yeah. Yeah. We'll have the editing crowd cut this out. Yeah. We of course record all of this on film just like they used to. And it's such a beautiful way to record podcasts.
But Skip, I was bringing up the fact that we are kind of landlocked with a conglomerate here who's looking to buy out.
It's true.
He owns all of our pieces of the pie are really skyrocketing in value, and it's tough to turn that away, but
i feel
they want us to sell.
I feel like it's more important to stay in business with my friends who I love, who I've known for years.
And let's be honest. Who came
went out on a leg to give let's be honest.
Over the course of the podcast, I'm sure get into it. Why why this venture's so important to each of us? Yes. But let's just say, this this
free place to do drugs for me.
That's a good reaction.
Open water.
And I did not
do this. In my hair that is real?
The wind and the hair. Both don't seem real to me when I see it happening on the
more length, bleach, blonde, strong.
You have to see Captain Powell's TikToks of of his strong hair. Absolutely. I'm on the state at strong hair daddy.
Strong hair daddy. I do all the TikToks. I'm on the state board, drinking an ocean spray, I'm on the front of the boat doing the Titanic.
They tied your hair to a tractor trailer truck and towed it the other night. Right? That sounds Josh
darn right.
That Panteen was sniffing around here, looking for you.
Well, they were sniffing, but they weren't buying.
Panteen was looking for a commercial Yeah.
You're sniffing, but
i saw that for the strongman competition, they tied your hair to a truck and had a guy pull you. And the truck Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Did the whole run through. I stood in the middle of a platform and they took half my hair each way and held up bananas because we were in the banana Republic and one of the ways they tried to tie it in.
I saw, like, one of your early videos that was fucked up on rotton dot com where they tied your hair to a man's legs and ripped apart.
That was not me, man. That was not
me. Yes. It was. You were slight That was before I was a cap I was a fresh
state, and I knew you got wacky.
I love it. Of course, I am.
Up in some shit.
I might be in with the wrong crowd.
No. No. No. No. I'm a tell you this though, get used to the it was not me defense because that has worked for Sydney for his entire life.
Oh, it worked for my good friend, Shaggy.
Oh, another Hollywood story.
Oh, he caught
He Wasn't me.
me banging in the shower. No.
And that's another one of your popular covers. Right?
Yes. I covered it wasn't me, and there was a little bit of push back on the voice, I guess. I did the I did the whole shaggy voice. I went Jamaican, and and I know now and I apologize. It's not prom for me
to do that? No.
It's the ACLU came. Right?
Mhmm. Yeah. The ACLU threw me in the pen. They said But
you weren't gonna let that hold you down.
It wasn't me?
I mean, it was you. It was you.
Here's recordings.
Well, yes. The I am public and me number one for the ACLU right now.
But you've done a couple of their songs as well.
Public enemy? Yeah. Yeah. A public enemy and AW. The whole thing. I I I my early nineties gangster rap albums sold very well crooners with attitude.
Well, now I heard that it sold well because it was all purchased and destroyed. Yes. It was burned
by the American community.
Finally, it was I'll tell you what, it was really nice to see everybody come together for something.
It was really nice. Yeah. I I don't know if everybody remember Yeah.
There were no Democrats or Republicans at that moment in that
kind of Just Americans.
It was just Americans. It was like the end of Independence Day, Tipper Gaur, beat me up. And it was just a you know, I was proud to
is kind of wonderful. What what It's what music does, and now you'll never see buble do that. Okay?
have brought everyone together, which
It's too busy.
No. I thought why, it's because I'm a better person than But
this is a big week here.
It is. It'll show up.
It is. We're this is this is the first week of the turnaround. It's what I'm trying it's now I'm pictures. And and what that means is for anybody who's listening, if you wanna come and stay at subtle shores, you right now, you can come here. You can stay here for an entire week, for the for the cost of one night.
That is
a it's our new promotion. Stay for a week. Spend for a night. Come on down here. We're gonna try to drum up business every room is currently open, and
we're gonna try to cram the whole week's
activities into that
one night too. Yeah.
Yes. All you can
do Even though you're paying for one night.
All you can eat, all you can do
if you have the ground chuck All we think you can eat. All we
think you can eat, all you can do
that stays.
Yes. Yes. I mean, we've
got the we got the salisbury beef for breakfast. I'm really looking forward to the beef omelettes on the
menu. That's really good.
And eggs we are getting eggs in our egg permit soon.
Yeah.
We're getting our
egg permit soon.
Totally. We're fourth on the list for getting our perman in the area.
We so for now with Stephen Rice.
an egg beaters permit.
We have
We have an egg beaters.
Oh, did you not touch the stuff?
Yeah. So we're we're we're really good for seniors. Because there's gonna be plenty of egg beaters here.
Yeah. But, folks, please please book today because it's very important that we get some numbers on the books here. To prove to ourselves and to the the people who are sort of breathing down our necks that we're honestly worth it. It's worth it to to let us keep it the
really quickly, I do want to say, to the eggs that will eventually be here, the egg beaters will be out of here by the time we get here.
Oh, yes.
There will be no egg beaters. Don't worry. Don't worry. We we do not put up with that. We do dot net. We get them together, like, if they're, you know, the Green Room of the Mori show, and we leave them there. But then you get here, they'll be gone.
Absolutely. We will not have any egg beaters on-site when the eggs show up. We don't need any eggs beaten.
No. But, yeah, folks, this this is just the first of many things to come for us here at The Last Resort Podcasts of Settle Shores Resort and Buffet resort and Buffet
and check us out now, right, on our website, one eight hundred subtle shores.
Check it out.
Yes.
And if anybody sees a man laying below a thirty five foot bucket truck, passed out. That's me. Help me up. Take me to the hospital. Yeah. The associates, obviously.
been doing that around town for free rides lately. Right?
You've
Yeah. I take the bucket truck, and I get up, and I put it to the top, and I fall well, I mean, I won't go into all of the the ways I've been hurt.
Not today.
We'll get into it eventually.
I mean, the associates did say that I do currently hold the top in his class for falling out of the bucket truck.
One, you can fix anything including your own body.
Very regal.
You can fix anything including your own body. Body handy, man.
I absolutely. Yes. I I can throw a little bit of grease on an stomach wound and stitch it up real quick with a little bit of twelve gauge twelve volt wire. And, you know, I I mean, as you guys know, I I can jump off a car just with my body. I've been shocked so many times.
That's right.
Yes. Yes. You've got electricity running through you. You could jump off a car. You could jump a car.
I can jump. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh oh, a couple of times, one
of the boat batteries died, and we just clamped it right up to your nipples, and we got it going right again.
Exactly. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Yeah. It's Here's the thing I got wrong the first time, the positive and the negative nipple. So I didn't know which was You
gotta be careful because it'll light you up.
Or will.
I like you. Yeah. And you do not wanna get big, shocked, and fall right into the ocean. That did not feel good.
No. It did not. But you blast it off from my nipples pretty big. And, yeah, obviously, guys check with me. I can taste the difference between a semi gloss and a flat paint.
Yeah. A lot of times,
they say value. They just
also, with any of the twanger,
any there and and I can I can color taste?
And people can can come to you also with any sort sort of fix it needs if your toilet is messed up or your phone isn't
working here.
Bring your toilet. Bring your toilet to saddle shore. Bring your toilet.
Yeah. Bring it up. Be low tea.
I I've got my three PM spoon and croon, so I should probably get out of here -- Yeah.
to have some warm tea and We've got
--
do before I do that.
a lot to
We've got a lot to do here at Settle Shores.
I gotta start
shutting down the lobby, putting up all those tarps and stuff. Because we are gonna clean off the grout. Yep.
Good.
And I gotta head down to the basement for no reason. So we should probably wrap this
one up.
And I'll just be surfing.
Yeah. Yeah. Certainly, you're surfing the powdery white wave.
That's what I'm talking baby. And guys remember, tater salad.
Tater salad.
What what were we gonna say, sir?
Oh, I
was just gonna say that I sleep hot. I sleep real hot, and I got a huge hug.
Well, you know what, guys? I I think this was a good first promo.
I
think we hooked him at the top and we got him to listen to the whole hour. And I think next week we're gonna be even better. We're really gonna know what we wanna say.
I felt a little nervous with this microphone front of
Yes.
it's tough. It's a new medium for all of us. We didn't know how we'd come across. I think we all, for the most part, came across well. Hopefully, you all recognize that we are capable and smart businesses.