Parka Liberace

Welcome to Last Resort, the podcast where billionaire jet setters eat prey lovers and a family of five. Just looking for a nice getaway can tune in. To get the inside scoop on the goings on of the one hundred and thirty sixth best off beach, Gulf Coast, vacation spot in the beautiful US of a, subtle shores, resort and buffet, and soon to be, offshore casino. I, of course, am, co owner of subtle shores. Scott skipped Powell here with my three good buds. Introduce yourself, fellas.

You're here in the dulce tones of croon and Duane Neumann over here. Good morning, Vietnam. One.

Excuse me? I was just the first croon. Oh, wow. I usually do --

that's right.

-- croon could

croon count.

That's right. Well, my name folks is Sydney Powell, of course, your guest entertainment and boating excursion leader, head captain, surfer, kayaker. I also manage the lockdown.

Yes, sir. Hello, Joe Young, head of maintenance. Everybody calls me drop calls. How you guys doing? Oh, man.

I'm doing great. Feels like we've had a nice productive week. You know, never never a dull moment at subtle shores.

Never?

This week was no different. Obviously, big big prep week for the opening of the offshore Ceno in a couple weeks, so we had a lot to do there. Spent a cup a couple more had a couple more sessions with the parsley

orrega, yes.

Orrega, yes. Parsnip? Lee Pars. And we oh, yeah. It was Parsnip. It might have been Par Snip. I forgot Par Snips. We still gotta ask him. We'll make we'll clarify with him.

Now we bumped up to one thirty six from one twenty seven last week, That's a tough blow.

Obviously, it's a blow. We did, you know, we released the first two episodes of this podcast And since they've come out, we dropped twelve spots.

Yeah.

Right. It's so a lot of people are drawing a correlation, but I I've said and they always my manager always says this my we say it in the music industry you got us take a step back before you take a leap forward.

Yeah. That's true. Yeah. And he said that at your signing. Right?

Yes. Yeah. It was it was muttered under his breath to himself, like he was reassuring himself. And obviously, this is my infamously suicidal manager.

Biggest Most failed suicide attempts in his class.

Yes. The associates did A lot of people said it was a cry for help because of my career.

Right.

I don't know.

Here's my question. How often do the associates do their judgments? It's like the sports power rankings. How have we gone up and down with mostly downs?

Well, much.

As everybody knows that the Guinness Book is a yearly output. The associates actually have a a actively updating website that you can go to

right.

--

-- every month of the day. From JD Power.

Yeah. It's kind of like, you know, like, there's a website, did duke lose dot com, where if you go to the University of North Carolina, you're a big fan of this website. Mhmm. Because you go there on the day of Duke games in tells you immediately if Duke lost, and if it's a yes, you're happy, if it's a no. You're sad.

Which I guess we should mention should you go to subtle shores dot com? Yeah. We're hoping to get a yes.

Yeah. We're

we're right now on six hundred and fifty two nos in a row.

And I'll say this. Whoever owns that website you you're you're hiding shuttle Settleshores lose dot com? No. It's it's it's should you go to Settleshores dot com?

Yes. Yes.

Yes or no? And it been up for a couple weeks now, and I'll tell you this, whoever owns that website. I will find a way to hack you

--

mhmm. -- and I sweat you you'll get docs

well, that's okay. We know where this threat has gotten you before. What? Anonymous took you down.

Well, okay.

And they do And I'm the first for

i was gonna say, I'm the first person that anonymous ever came out publicly. They demasked demasked. In in in public. I got I actually got shoulder tackled by a kid named Stephen. You know what's crazy?

It's just a mask of their face.

They look like

they all look like that.

Shakespeareian actors, you know, mustachioed. Kind of Yeah.

I heard it's part of the negotiation. They all have to sort of look the same to

be part of the group. Know, like, I was like, did he take the mask off?

Well, I I guess I don't know if we'll we'll cut this if I'm not allowed to say it off and check my NDA, but my plastic surgeon does all the autonomous faces. No. When you join anonymous, yeah, you go to my plastic surgeon and he does the face for you. Wow.

Yeah. And that must be nice for him because he's just got a template.

It's it's perfect. Yeah. It's an in and out. Obviously, I tried that out for a few days and it didn't work out. But it's like it's like a haircut it grows back. A couple weeks.

Yeah. I feel like I can see the remnants of when you tried to look like that, but you do look somewhat back to yourself.

Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah. I didn't know if face is I didn't know face.

That's true.

I thought hard lines would be more attractive than they are. You you your face as hard line.

Yeah. I was trying to go because I was around I was always rounder just genetics, you know. Right. It's different. People are born different ways, and I wanted a little more of strong jaw, strong eyebrows, strong.

And this -- Lips. --

strong chin. Very strong.

I'll say Litto is would pale in comparison.

He's chopping his licking his chops at that gym. He is belly

up to the table fork and knife in hand.

We're never that people refuse to do work on Leno. They say, no. It's like changing the Mona Lisa.

Right. We

could possibly touch your chin. I don't wanna be the guy that messes it up. Yeah.

Leno's been trying to get a chin drop for about sixteen years now, and people will not it it's kind of a Mhmm. But the but the we all know the plastic surgeon, Hippocratic others. You won't change a beautiful face.

I heard that Linno was actually born with a nineteen seventy seven Corvair in his channel. No. Wow. Wow. That sparked his love.

So someone did work on him once.

Apparently, as a baby, he got sent through the Chevrolet -- Mhmm. Essentially, Troy. Wow. Wow. Wow.

That's why he's got that

they built a short head. -- bear in his chair. Or bear.

I do wanna spend a little more time on the plastic surgeon's Hippocratic oath, because what is it that What are their standards? When do they turn people down? What are their responsibilities? Are they fiduciary?

Well, And I've discussed their fiduciary responsibilities, of course, a lot ever since.

For the listeners, not for me, can somebody give can somebody give the listeners not me a definition of fiduciary?

Well, obviously, it's a

has that has anything to do with cleaning out your nether regions?

No. It's not douuciary.

They they do have Yeah.

There are fiduciary. Because I've been trying to

get a fiduciary appointment at the

well, at Goldman Sachs. At Goldman Sachs. And they won't do it.

But you accidentally put one at Golden Sachs.

I booked one at a brass, a a woodwind in brass. Shot. I got a douche at Goldman Sachs. Saphone? No. Gold golden Sachs. Golden Sachs.

Which is a bad wheel.

And I also invested with that. They immediately lost it.

Their minds.

Yes. They lost their minds. And I ended up inside of a spit soaked tuba for about two weeks.

Oh my god.

Oh, there's nothing more discussed in the inside of a wind or or brass instrument. It's it I think that might be the grossest place on there.

In the belly of a tuba for almost two weeks.

I know. I remember that.

Yeah. I remember that.

Yeah. Yeah. That was

god taught me a list.

Yeah. That's the it'd be super new testament that story is in there.

Well, we could all hear you in the tube but banging on the old edge, and it was coming out of the hole. So it'd get me out of here. So Yeah.

Get me out of here. Get me out of here. People were passing by in the town. It's all written down in the super new.

Super new.

Yeah. Which we are in every room at Settle Shores

-- Right. --

resort and buffet and offshore casino to be to come. It does have the super new testament in the shower, so you can read that there.

Yeah. Of course, every page is plastic lines, so that way you can flip peacefully

in the sheets. It's

kind of a loofah situation. You can clean with it.

Yeah. A big announcement. Because our financial advisor was looking for more ways to for us to partner with companies. You know, if you stayed at a nice hotel, maybe they'll have all Aveeno in there or I what are other nice soap companies?

A chocolate at the pillow.

Chocolate of you know at the pillow.

Chocolate at the pillow brand.

So we partnered with, you know, we partnered with Lufa

--

yeah. -- to do our new testaments in the shower, which is very nice.

Who else did we talk to? I can't remember if we got We

Yes.

talked to Dove for a little while.

Yes. We we talked to Dove. They

were the ones that said absolutely not. Right? We kept calling them back?

Yeah. They said, have you seen any of our advertising before, like, sort of questioning it as if we had no idea what their whole company was about? And, obviously, We have all seen their commercials, just regular people getting getting cleaned up. We thought

we thought that was good for us. Us all in our tidy whitey saying, we totally get your end. Yeah.

Yeah. It was confusing when they said no to me. I I fully expected it. But then it it's actually a a good segue for this week because we've all actually spent this week doing our part to sorta get the word out about Settle Shores, announce the big grand reopening. The re debut, you could say, of our offshore casino, making commercials, print ads, Internet memes. We've tried we've tried our hand at everything this week folks, so there's been a a lot. You've probably seen it. Online. It's a bit we've had some We've

made a big splash. Absolutely. Kim Kardashian liked one of our photos

then she unliked it shortly after. Yes.

that's true.

--

And Kardashian liked about thirty photos deep at three thirty AM, and it was like Kim, what are you doing on our account this late?

My guess, if I'm being honest, I think it was Kanye.

Interesting.

I think it was Kanye looking for a little vacation destination, folks. If you're hearing us, you might see Kanye here.

Folks, and here's the big news. You might see Kanye you'll definitely see the first few iterations of Rob Kardashian's hologram. That's right. It's official. We got the fur you everybody saw Kanye parts here.

Put it.

Yeah.

These things cost money, folks. And once they're made and not used, they hit the open market.

So be emcee ing your shows for the

That's right.

he'll yes. So he'll be introducing me. He'll be doing craft work.

He grows a big duffel bag away at the beginning of your show.

He walks in with a big duffel bag, throws it into a a car very broadly and noticeably -- Right.

--

and then he peefies for thirty minutes.

He does a couple

of big peefies. A couple of big peefies. I I that's to me, that's the exciting part. It's like, get why the family wouldn't want this. Fab This is more of a comedic turn around.

more about the people.

It was

Well, it's not a far Like, when he farts, it's big and it is more of a pee pee.

It's a pee pee pee. It's just a It's

dirty. It's stinky. It's long. It's loud.

It's like a you know a big burp. It's like it's like one of those.

It's a beefy.

Yes. Well,

you want people to hear it.

We're doing it. To bell.

Everybody remembers my, you know, celebrities always will do a sesame Street. I did one with big burp. That was a pretty fun episode, I thought.

And that one was deleted.

Yes. I don't know if anyone saw it. They ended up releasing on on YouTube.

You also came up with stuff of a film like this. Right?

Yes. Not fulfillment kiss who lives in a basement and makes little movies.

But I think it is an exciting weaker subtle short for

all the new promotions. Yeah. You know,

obviously, we are big on the celebrity tip. People are saying that this could be the new celebrity destination in the dirty south.

Well, that's what all of our media That's what all of our media has been pushing.

And we should say. We are in the northern hemisphere, but they are calling our area the dirty side.

The dirty south portion of town. Yes.

That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. As as I said before, you've probably you've probably seen a lot of our our media. I'll call it media. It's because we did a lot this week. Of course, I filmed a few commercials. I thought You know, what a what a good way to to sell the place by doing some commercials with my family. Showing showing the world out there that, oh, this is a family place where a family can come.

I'm

sorry I couldn't make the shoot the way. I apologize.

Hey. No. It's okay.

The rest of the family was there though. Right?

Well, you said nuclear. Right?

I did say nuclear family. And so it's it's me, my wife, and, of course, my son, Dennis, which if you've seen the the commercials you probably understand that what we ended up getting was not what we went what we set out for.

And these were cheaper commercials in that. They were straight to air.

That's true. They we had ten minutes in a studio. We taped the commercial, one take, We tried to rehearse it. Obviously, I couldn't wrangle my kids, so he didn't he didn't do anything that I wanted him to do. Mhmm.

I I will say that he helped us more than the commercial would have. Him going off on you. Be What was a viral hit? He's been auto tuned saying daddy loser.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course, that's I'm referring to the daddy loser commercial. Which -- Yeah.

We sort of buried the lead the lead on that one. Surely, you've seen the daddy loser commercial.

Yeah. I mean, obviously, you saw daddy loser kid on the Ellen show

where she brought him in and he humiliated her employees and she applauded.

--

right.

And I'll tell you this, Ellen, it's kinda up for you to specifically disinvite me when you're having my kid on your show. Yes. I I what my kid's just gonna go there alone?

What was that like getting that disinvitation. It was a forget the date. Right?

It it was a forget the date sent to me snail mail. Yeah. A snail mail forget the date. I'm at the airport, my mailman, my the mailman comes into the airport.

Come along. Car

the mailman, Carl Malone walks into my gate at the at the airport. I'm obviously, I'm impressed. I'm like, oh my god. That's Carl Malone. Turns out he's got a snail mail letter from Ellen to hand me as I'm boarding the plane to Los Angeles.

Wow.

And I gotta turn around.

And then you got somebody popped up out of a box that scared the shit out of you. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Out of a carry on. The person in front of me in the line.

The first person So Ellen came all the way there in a carry on just to scare the shit out

Indeed, she did. Wow. Really. Yeah. It was it was pretty frustrating for me. I, of course, am facing assault charges because I, in shock, sort of, popped her one

of you?

yeah. -- which I it was not it wasn't

--

i think you have a strong self defense kit.

Yes. She possibly And then you robbed her house in Santa Barbara?

In self defense.

Allegedly. I allegedly I allegedly did all of this. I allegedly robbed her house in Santa Barbara.

But that's only because you care about subtle shores. It's only because you care about the guest experience -- Yes. -- the resort. Right.

Yeah. And I said, I in in the court documents that were filed, I said this I said, this can all go away if she just plugs subtle shores on her show.

That's it.

I said, you guys will drop this suit if she just says it. Yeah. And

they're like, we don't want it to go away. You want it to go away.

Yeah. It's like, that's not how this works. You're the one who should be offering us something, not forcing us to do something. And I

said So Ellen did offer you a public humiliation.

She did. She said instead of an apology, why don't you come on the show? And I was like, is this an invitation to the show? I get back to the airport to go to Los Angeles

to take my public humiliation on her show. Her show.

-- Okay. --

And then there's a guy

waiting to drive you.

Yep. I get there. Guy has a sign, has my name on it, spelled right and everything. I walk up to him. I yeah. I walk up to him.

Which is

rare for you.

I walk up to him. He takes off his hat It's the mailman again. He hands me another disinvitation. I'm already in Los Angeles.

So Malone revealed himself by simply taking off his hat.

He did. The Superman reveal. Yeah.

So he's not only your mailman. He sounds like he's Ellen's personal mailman.

It sounds like he does a lot of errands for Ellen.

Carmelon and Ellen being friends, there's no less of a surprise in my life. It makes perfect

sense to me. Absolutely. Eating popcorn together at that tennis match.

Yeah. It was well, Edward, when Malone lost stockton, he I mean, he saw an opening for a little white person in the life that he went with that one.

And wasn't cute when they walked away. She sat right on his shoulders like a little boy sitting on his dad -- Right.

and on

--

her dad.

God, that was great. Well

but we you know, obviously, I hate to hear this type of stuff. My whole thing was that you have me on this show and it doesn't tarnish my image, it improves it. And, you know, being associated with now an alleged assaulter and a a house robber is tough for my image. But I will say something that's good for my image here at Settle Shores is obviously that I can't think of anything right now.

Well, what about your new coat? You got that new coat for

your show.

New big park

cuckett

parker -- Yeah. -- that you're making part of your identity kind of.

What's that? Yeah.

Kinda making it part of your identity.

You just saw that Liberach movie.

Yeah, I saw the Liberace movie and I've gone parker Liberace so it's fancy, it studded, it's a parker with tails, and it was in my my the addendum to my writer and -- Right.

--

you know, I think it's really added to my performance. I don't know what you guys thought of my last show, but I feel on. I felt like I had it felt like twenties again.

The the fire we extinguished from all the candles you had on stage was a tough start to the show.

Okay, so I want to address this. My Parker obviously knocked over a lot of candles when I did my twirl. A lot

and the whole stage was on fire. And obviously, we had had the water removed from the sprinklers because if the water goes off, it melts my face. And so I do want to address the asphyxiation problem. Mhmm. Not getting

of candles

that's good. That's good.

But I think everybody that made it through that show that didn't have to go to the hospital, they cried their eyes out. Yeah. It was an emotional show. You know some people lost their parents that night in the audience and they stayed to watch their favorite crooner make a a crumb. Two. That's that's three.

Is that three?

You missed one. I caught it.

I appreciate that.

Now Make them

dwayne, you're talking a lot about this coat, but I feel like you're sort of you're you're forgetting your most important contribution to the sort of the last week, which, of course, is the jingle that you made for all of our radio ads, which a lot of people say, radio ads are dead. We disagree completely. So we had Dwayne, of course, record a couple of different jingles for Suttleshores, resort buffet and offshore casino. And I'll tell you this, when these ads start running, I I'll guarantee it right now. We jump up at least one spot in the associate's list.

I'll say six spots.

hope I mean, but people love Dwayne Newman.

I would

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I agree. I agree. You know? And it's now I'm a man. I am a the salt of the earth is what people are starting to see. We had drop cloth come in and help me engineer. So we're releasing on our TikToks and behind the scenes videos in Josh Foth and I?

Yes. It's it's you know, he we had to ground him a little bit. So what better than a greasy mechanic to be sort of a --

-- Duane sidekick.

that's right.

And you guys are walking around drinking cranberry juice everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We sipping on crayon.

We figured out this dog, phase four twenty guy, and we're like, oh, we understand how trends work. And so we're we're sipping orange juice.

Yeah. We're riding down. We're falling down exit on ramps on skateboards. That's We have not yet nailed the one take big dog failure to win.

I did I did wanna it did I did hear that you actually were responsible for somebody getting creamed on the off an exit ramp?

Yes. We we Well, we were responsible for our own creaming. We got hit.

And I I wanna say about nine minutes ago, you said this is a great segue, and that made me think of a great segue into how I fell off my segue trying to exit the freeway. Obviously, the segue got run over by a smart car. Which wasn't too smart to me.

No. To RIP, that smart car.

RIP, the smart car. Yes.

But it it is now a job car riding around town.

It's now it's it's a dumb car and a dumb driver due to some brain damage from the accident.

That's right.

And that'd be careful of that car. It is driving into things all over town.

The car was a giddy. Watch a parallel park.

Watch out. But yet, Dwayne, I've really enjoyed filming with you.

This is a great working relationship. And, you know, when we said put drop cloth in as the engineer, I kind of hesitant. Do you have a phone even? Do you use technology?

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I have a CB radio that I have on a little buggy.

Oh, those are just as good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're good. I mean, because you gotta be on my channel, say meet me on twelve, and we'll go over to twelve, and we'll have private conversations. And when

you say meet me on twelve, what channel are you on, Rich, really?

Oh, I'm on two. Yeah. Two's sort of where everybody is, and then you if you wanna have private conversation, you meet me on twelve.

Well, drop Gleth and I use the CB all the time when I'm on my run out to the casino and back to the shore. Because it gets a little lonely on that ride out to the casino, not that it's long. It's the normal amount of time. It's a ferry. It's a short ferry ride. But, yeah, I get on the c b talk for two, three hours because I get so lonely.

Yes. There's an there's an oil Well, the our An oil rig? There's an oil rig that was foreclosed on

halfway to the Yeah.

So we didn't get it. It is not a long ride to our offshore you know, before the two to three hours of the ride. Yeah. You know, you you might get a little lonely, but we'll have customers on there.

Yes.

But the oil rig is a nice little kind of I I would say a pit stop. PIT stop.

Because we do actually ferry their employees.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah. We ferry we fair the employees.

And of course, we pick up gas because it takes all the gas in the boat to get halfway

--

yes.

which is to the oil rig. And then the other halfway, we get out to the casino. Now, the great thing about the casino that I think we're underselling, it is far enough offshore that it's an international waters.

--

Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

That's right. So obviously, once we figure out the pirates -- Mhmm.

--

it's gonna be incredible, but you could do ever you want on there.

That's right.

And we this is probably a big announcement. We're we're making it kinda westwards world style.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, and I'm starting to form a relationship with these pirates. They have boarded my ship enough times on the way to the casino that I feel like we're finally starting to make some headway.

Uh-huh.

For the first ten trips, Sure. They stole everything on board. But they left the ship, you know?

Right.

I think so that I could get more materials and bring it halfway out there so that they could steal again. But these pirates and I, I think we're we're starting to have a relationship, you know?

Yeah. I I which is I would say, I think we've all had our own Stockholm syndrome in one way or another. Sure. And I think that's probably what you're going through right now.

Well, you know, they haven't killed

You know, and so I'm starting to love them and I'm starting to think that maybe some of these guys might be interested in being ferry captains, you know, because we're gonna have a lot of boats back and forth from the offshore casino.

yeah.

Now that's interesting. We hire the enemy and make them the friend.

Well, they do say, hey, keep your enemies close and or your friends close and your enemies They're

not gonna wanna steal their own product if you know what

i mean. Yes. Okay. Alright. So, a big news we could say it on the air, we're about to hire some pirates to Captain the fairy to for wars. Yes. So never been safer. The enemy is the friend. Yeah. The sheep hired the wolves, and now the wolves are our buddy.

And I'll be honest.

What

the fairies have been improved because they've stolen the first few of my boats, and of course I had to make them more operational than they were.

And I know what people are thinking. Oh, are these pirates? Do they do they look sort of we say pirates, and you think peg leg No. Long coat, Johnny Depp, I mascara. Right. Are they more modern? No? No. They're exactly what you're thinking.

Yeah.

Yeah. They look sort of like Davey Jones. What's that one from pirates

of the

caribbean with the technical face.

Yeah. There yeah. There's some technical face ghosts on there. Don't be scared because there are friends now that ghost pirates are as far as we know,

we're gonna hire them. Here's the thing. If you're Camp Crystal Lake, And all of a sudden, Jason's just hanging out playing cards with you all, and you go out at night, he walks you back to your cabin. Are you gonna be scared of getting killed by Jason? No, he just took you for everything you had in Black Jack.

And you are one of the great crystal lake survivors. So this is from experience. It's you befriend the killer and you pointed out people to him.

That was that was it. I kinda gave him me inside scoop. I sort of said, you know

you sharpen the machete.

I shot well, hey. If you don't

he was meant to give up. His machete was too dull and he said, I think I'm done right now. I got you.

You're like, I gotta winstone right here, my man.

I told him I told him, listen, man. Don't give up now. You're just getting started. You've got a long career ahead of you.

I've always said, you've seen the potential in everybody. You can be the right way to send it.

You I mean, you brought us three lunatics. I'm in up here, but

seven eight. Four or six.

Those were

two separate

ones. But, you know, yeah yeah, I think that is such a good trick -- Yeah.

to you -- Yeah.

--

--

is you're never trying to improve. You're seeing the people around you that need improvement and you're giving to them.

Yeah. Exactly. It's and that's the thing for me is, like, I don't ever I'll never write a person off. Mhmm. And that a lot of people say that that's a bad thing about me. And I'll sort of keep everyone in fact your harbor and abuser?

I think that's a family thing. We are both so open hearted that we will never cut anybody off re. Me and these pirates. Could you help

jason move into more of a corporate world kind of I did. I did. Like that Well, bail

well, not everybody knows that Jason originally was Jason is now Jeff Bezos.

That's right. That's true.

Yeah. Jason Bezos.

So I which obviously explains hair and face.

Overall demeanor will be

used to murder. Son. Isn't his son with him at award shows?

That's tough.

I don't know.

But, yeah, you I I I all that to bring around to say, I don't know if we've said this on the air. But I personally wanna thank you for bringing me aboard to Settle Shores. I know we have our differences and and presentation of the place and how this podcast runs But my ICDB, my international crooner database -- Yeah. -- number has gone up since I started this. Right. And a lot

well, I mean, there's only a few people on the website. It's about six people. So

there's six you know, when we lost Pavaratti, who a lot of people said that's not a crooner. But crooning is the is what is crooning but American Opera? Yes. Ten. Ten. Ten. That's ten.

That's ten.

This was actually a lot of people from that website originally because a lot of people took themselves off. Pavarati said, don't wanna be associated. It.

Yeah. That was Nancy Hammer passed on Kruiter database, which I didn't you know, obviously, I started the database. Right. And it's a shame start a thing and then be at the bottom of it. Right. So I moved myself off mostly from people leaving the database. Gaga went off. So, it's still Seth McFarlane at number one and me at number two.

Which I think is a fair rating system, no offense to you, but he really is the crooner we need in the world right now.

Very true.

And, like, I don't know if you doing stewie during your shows is gonna stick it to him.

Oh, shut up, Lois.

It's just not quite there. I mean, I Uploaders.

It it does kinda feel like when you keep talking about your ex, you know, and how

how bad they are.

It's like, well, you're still talking about them, you know.

Shut uploads.

I also think Okay.

Well, now that wasn't even the voice there.

I'll say this. Also, I think you can't call a a a a piece of your act that you do and you say the same line. We say one line is Dewey. I don't think you can call that an impression.

Okay. Alright. I'm gonna pour myself another My Tuck because I've got a little angry and I think you should shut up lots.

Well, folks, you heard it here for first. Stui the crooner. Come down and see him.

You can get tickets for this show almost any night of the week. Yes. Nice. I mean, literally.

Yeah.

I will be falling down on a skateboard in the background and smoking a big reefer joint. Yes. Absolutely. I will be toast and off a big j behind him and drinking multiple gallons of ocean spray.

You know yeah. Okay. I was I was like, who is this still the the four twenty dog face guy, or is this a family guy guy that you're being, but I'm letting you join my act to kind of bring in that self of the Earth vibe. Yes. So it's it's like a magician's assistant, obviously.

Last and I'm obviously bringing in the salt of the water vibe. When I come on late soaked, having just been pushed into the ocean.

Yes. So we're doing your ocean soak. Luckily, somebody shoves you into the ocean. Today. Absolutely. At least.

Part of my routine.

We we kinda have an open deal. If once that happens, come on in to the are we calling it the Grand ballroom now? What is the name? The Grand

spiscuits ballroom.

Grand hits the lower room.

And we're hoping to get a sponsorship.

Yes. Build Barry Build

it, boy. He build it. They will come.

Yes. There's a man who looks like the pillsbury doughboy there --

That's right.

mhmm.

-- who is associated with Grans because Grans is a pillsbury product. Mhmm.

Mhmm.

I believe.

Yes. That's true. Yeah.

It's

very true. So pillsbury, if you're listening. We got something for you.

So we've done a lot of the work.

There's an overweight, very pale man and a chef's hat. Right. That's hanging out --

A lot of people

yeah.

a suit.

think it's

A lot

of people think it's the suit of a of a guy who is made of dough -- Right.

--

not to pale man.

Payole man chef's hat in the grand's biscuit ballroom.

And the the one unfortunate thing, and I really do have to we're working on this. Please do not poke his tummy.

Mhmm. Everybody assumes

no. He will punch. Yes. Everybody assumes if you see the grands the pillsbury doughboy, you're allowed to give him the old who, who, you're not. He will punch you right in the face.

Please, folks, we cannot stress this enough. Do not poke the pillsbury doughboy in the stomach.

It is an attraction, but only to view, not to touch. It's like, think of it this way. It's a fine art piece.

That's right.

Except it's just a fat man and a hat. But that's okay. All sizes are beautiful here at subtle shores. That's another one of the things we've really been stressing at our poolfront Beachfront area. There's no body shaming. We want to allow anybody to come as you are, you can come big, you can come small, you can be fat, you can be tall, that's what we say

--

that's right.

down by the bay.

That's a and with the I'm so happy that the rhyme is what ended up we put it up there. Thank you. Because good for kids to remember. Yeah. It's good for adults. It's got a child like playfulness. You did it with the obviously with for the Jacuzzi, we don't care if you have diarrhea in the past half hour. So we did a nice little ride to that. Yeah.

Come as funny. You can be sick as a dog, Yeah. Absolutely still going on.

And if Yeah. Like, if you diarrhea, you can still tryeria, the hot tub. We had some trouble with that rhyme.

Yes. One of the harder words a rhyme, which everybody obviously knows from my album, seven songs in the restroom.

Because that's how you were discovered People forget that from episode one.

Yes. People have forgotten that already, I'm sorry.

You were in the bathroom, disguising

the sound, disguising your poop. Decizing your poop

and LA Reid walks by.

That's right, crooning and pooing. So, yeah, we we'd be doing the rhymes, but to bring it all back again. I I all the way to the beginning, thank you so much for having me here. It's really reinvigorated my life. It's reinvigorated my relation with my wife, and I'm not even trying to rhyme there. Yes. It's just great news.

I think up with all the gratitude. Oh. A recent grad.

I've been meditating. I've been meditating. I've been meditating. I joined

i love that. Here?

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

I found it way too hard with all the noise.

It is very difficult. I say. And I've got the earplugs in. I've It

seems like you're setting your earmuffs on over

the corner.

I do feel like that Shavasana has been a little bit for show. Because it's very public where you're doing the meditating.

Yes. I'll do a five to ten hour lay down in the in the lobby. Or I'm in my full meditation gear. I'm in my Lululemon, which by the way

your concave butt is it's really working with.

Lululemon's show off the bod, and they just make anyone look good. Right. Myself included.

Well, you're concave, but it's it's such an advantage because you can sit on anything You can walk right up to it and standing slot right onto a table.

Somebody has read my dating profile. They were using

they were using yes.

They were using your body in a claw machine at one point, and your butt would pick up the stuffed animals. Is that right?

Yes. But I

was just a gig.

It was just a gig, and I ended up getting fired because I was singing too much. They said you're a claw. You're not a singer.

Well, a gig is a gig and and you can kinda get confused. I've done that. Sometimes I'll be chartering, and I'll be thinking that I'm doing a tugboat.