Time of Death: 3 Years Ago

Welcome to last resort, the podcast where billionaire jet setters eat prey, lovers, and a family of five just looking for a nice getaway can tune in. To get the inside scoop on the goings on of the one hundred and thirty third best off beach, Gulf Coast vacation spot in the beautiful USA, Settle Shores, resort, and buffet soon to be offshore casino. And folks, I'm here with my buddies. Let's send it around the horn.

Hey, everybody, Dwayne, crooning, newman out there. You know me, you love me. Every day you put on my music and you make love to your loved ones.

Hey, what's happening y'all? Sydney Powell, of course, excursion leader, boat captain, and fungi.

Hey everybody, Joe Young. You can call me drop cloth. As you know, you've seen me in most of the dry throughs in town in the beat up van with no front or back bumpers.

That's right, folks. That's us. Hope you're having a good time because we've had a great week because we did bump up one.

Let's pop that a champagne. When you when you said one thirty three just now, I popped the champagne, and I'm a bubblin.

And before people say before people say, This is a preemptive celebration. You guys only moved up one in the rankings because another local resort fell off the beach. I'm gonna tell you this right now. Just be there hey. Their disaster is You're

welcome, by the way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And a lot of people are gonna say, hey, there's footage of you four there, hitting it with a champagne bottle. At the tip of it, as it went out to sea.

You're welcome.

And then some other people are gonna say in that recording, you can see where we lined the beach with dynamite. Just around the building and sucked it into the ocean.

Yeah.

But that doesn't matter. We came back one point, and folks come on out and visit subtle shores.

That's right. We're on the rise.

And to all our friends on four seasons Island, We are praying for you and we're we're hoping that they get you help soon. We're obviously donating all our milk. We've been bringing milk to the island for everyone that's stranded on there.

That's right. We have that good perishable milk. So that should

be good for

i was gonna say, if anybody has a refrigerated boat, that they could lend us for the next few trips. We did I won't say waste a few trips with some perishable milk that did go bad. While we were trying to get out there to the four seasons. Island residents now, I think you have to call them because they won't be able to get back to the mainland for a while. But but we're hoping to continue our sort of trips out there with with supplies, paper towels, obviously, a thing that you definitely need in in disaster situations. Oh,

we we bring it over.

We did not send paper towels.

We we tried to. We tramped the paper towels. We tried shoot him over like basketballs, you know? Yeah. We also Trump and Puerto Rico do it, my man. And we tried to do that and we're just let's just say we're more layup guys than than jump shot guys. Absolutely.

And we were trying to work on our lip hands.

Yeah.

So we were bricking constantly all of the paper towels, and they didn't make it over there.

They didn't -- Yeah.

take it over. So again, sorry to everybody on the four seasons Island Resort. But you're welcome to any sharks down low eating barbecue. That's right. And try those paper towels. There's plenty to go around.

--

Yeah. Yeah. It'll be great. But, you know,

you know, you know

oh. That's one. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. So the fans have done some requests. I'm getting some requests in my DMs of small jingles. So Some people requested obviously my barbecue sauce commercial jingle which was a bit of a homage to the chili's barbecue sauce guy.

Yeah. Which ended up. Rip off. Yeah. As those people being the jury

yeah. So I got convicted of song rip off. Okay. And, you know, it was a jury of my peers.

twelve cruisers?

Which is

Twelve creators, and song rip off feels so much hurtful than plagiarism.

Or copyright infringement, which feels very clinical. This feels like a personal attack almost. When you say, song rip off, That feels like you're walking up to somebody, and you're going after them specifically.

I'm here ripping them off. Really denotes poor quality. You know? It's knock off, rip off, something that's sold on Canal Street, you know, piece of crap.

Yes. When you that is how you sold your Barb you, Son. Right? It was outside of a a Alabama Shakes concert?

Yeah. We well, it's it's Croon Neumann's barbecue sauce, and it's all we'll give it to you for ten dollars or five well, two for five hey, where are you going? So, alright, three for three dollars. Alright? And I'll throw in a t shirt. You know, and we sold we sold well and I will say if the barbecue sauce guy didn't take the stand we would have won that case but he gave a pretty cheerful testimony.

Yeah. The

chili's barbecue sauce guy.

He pointed to me and he said, bigger rip off.

And it was the base. The the base guy. Right? It was the base guy from the the acapella quartet that did there's actually a viral video of them. Singing the song. So we know exactly the man. Everyone out there should know exactly the man who it is, who you Well,

what I gotta say is, I I don't think the jury was really that fair because I heard some of the higher parts of the song in the jury box saying Chili's.

Really?

And, of course, they're gonna side with mister barbecue saw.

I thought they had some alto's from the actual acapella group in the jury.

And now was this am I mistaken, or was this a jury made up of of all choir arrangement parts? There were alto's, sopranos, tenors, bases, baritones, all it was

it was

and keep going there were twelve people in the jury. So there was the super episode. There was the mini base.

I saw that jury in it the other night. Unbelievable, sad.

So here's

the thing that happened

is the jury that convicted me then booked a tour every city I was going to same night.

And Oh my god. That's Jerry of your peers.

Yeah. They went on tour as jury of my peers. They do a they now do like a rock and Christmas eve thing, jury of my peers. They they do the twelve convictions of Christmas. Act. They sing twelve things I've been convicted of including killing ten lords a leap in.

I loved when they do unbiased. When they Unbite I will

say Unby East is a gorgeous song. I bought a new music CD this year just for Unby East.

Right. Which is unbelievable because my book by East about the shame of a trial I went under. You know, it hit the charts. It did hit the charts.

It's hard because you spelled it phonetically, and people are like, what is this book about?

Yeah. Well, fuck the Fuck them.

It's so good for me now. No. Well, you're you're still pretty you're beat up, but it's okay.

I should things are good for me now. As we said in the last episode, I'm sitting on seventy billion dollars from Uber, Lyft, Postmates, Yubhub, I'll

say this, the money has not posted in the joint bank account by

well, I haven't been impressed with what I've seen from you all as far as commitment and growing this. And I've got Actually, some other irons have been put into my fire. So I'm not certain that I will be here for the next six episodes if I'm gonna be No.

Aye, what

are you

what are you talking about? Well, don't

say that.

You have an exit plan?

Yes, I have well, I'm working on something and it's pretty exciting and it could change my entire life if if if it comes together so I've got some good offers. Sir, are

you gonna wait for us to ask what it is? If you wanna know,

i can tell you if you don't wanna know we can move on.

No. Well, I don't wanna encourage you to move in that direction. I want you to stay here. I have no interest in where else you're going.

Okay. Well, then I don't have to tell you, but it's pretty exciting.

But, you know, it's been I think as the proprietor of the business, we need to know where everybody's headed.

You're still under contract, Dwayne.

Okay. Well, yeah, I'll see I'll see your pants off. I'll get out of that contract. I it'll cost you more money to take me to court than it will do this, you know, the the like the nice way and it might the thing might fall through. I'm not gonna tell you what it is in case it falls through but Let's just say pitbull is doing a bit of a tour right now.

Lot of information You're opening

as a crooner for pitbull?

No. I'm not gonna reveal any of my sources.

I mean, you

know I mean, sometimes acts do try to hit different genres up top. I mean, that would be quite

that is true.

That would be quite the whiplash to go from your show into pitbull.

Yeah. But, you know, I've got a lot of

and are you talking about The recording artist pitbull?

I knew this would come up. I knew this would come up and it's it's honestly embarrassing for you to ask.

Okay. Yeah. So it is it is And it

sounds like it's embarrassing for you to answer because you're avoiding the question.

Yeah. Because there's no way would be opening up for

a dog.

A dog. I mean, in what context would that even be?

I think that would be great for me honestly if I was opening up for a dog. So you know and we do have some fan crossover. A lot of people play me I have been known to soothe dogs as they're being put down. It's the last thing they'll play is my voice and the dogs will kind of think well, I guess being dead ain't so bad is the

well, I heard that it wasn't necessary. It was a replacement for the put to sleep drug.

Yes, they found out that my music will have played at a certain volume hearable around the animals world.

We euthanize them. We

euthanize them in my college job. I mean, Hey, Trent. Club. Cover your dog's ears because I apologize. I apologize. What was it, son? What was that saying?

What happened, Skip?

Oh, my god.

No. Oh, wait. He's alright.

Okay. That's good.

Yeah. My dog my dog Oliver just it sounded like I stepped on his foot or something.

Skip has an eighteen year old Yma Reiner that is Grayer than anything you've ever seen.

Yeah. I'll tell you, like, this dog stinks. This dog

stinks.

Those dogs

they start gray. And this one got grayer.

Guys, come on. Well, listen. I listen. I adopted this dog for Dennis because I thought giving him some responsibility would be good. And I didn't wanna get him a puppy because I felt like they would just ride each other up. You know? He'd end up doing the Zoomies all night like dogs are known to do. And so I I I got I adopted a young not a young, a very old dog thinking that it would sort of calm Dennis down. He'd have an old friend that he could sort of hang out with. Turns out Dennis hasn't hasn't I don't think he's looked at the dog since I got him. And so picked

up some of the dog's bad habits. Right?

That's true. He's peeing on the floor. He's

definitely sniffed my butt a few times. Yeah.

He comes right up to the table and eats my food off of it.

Yeah. He he he thinks he's being sly, and he'll he'll just grab grab your ribs right off your plate. It's really frustrating. He also

you die by the way, fellas. Like, k. If I can do it quick aside, you don't get between a man and his ribs. Am I right?

No. I mean, don't. Absolutely, you don't.

And that's why I'd honestly, that's why I didn't have any problem with you taking taking some sort of liberties with the discipline on my kid.

I appreciate that. I appreciate that you subscribed to the it takes a village thing. You've always said that we are allowed to say whatever we want to your kid.

And I completely you gotta take a switch to another person's kid.

Right. And and it happens.

I was spank by everyone other than my parents as a kid. And it helped me. It honestly gave me a fear of everybody

--

yeah.

--

and a love for my parents. So I think it helped.

I think the thing can I be honest with you guys? I think the thing I'm I'm scared of. With Dennis is I feel like me putting so much time and so much energy into keeping this resort afloat has sort of caused a situation where I'm I'm starting to think that maybe Dennis is acting out because he's not getting enough attention from me. And like a lot of people would say, well, well, skip. Why don't you just you know, take a take a day or two off and go take your son out on a boat, go fishing, go do something like that. But with a job like this, I just can't take any time off. So I just don't know what to do at this point because I'm getting pulled in this direction by the resort. I'm getting pulled in that direction by my wife. I'm getting pulled underground by my son. It's just it's Can

i ask you a question? You can pull underground by your son. Yeah.

So we should let everyone know that right now, subtle shores, we've got some yank holes that we're trying to fix. Yeah. But Dennis The Louon took has has been making little yank holes. They're they're just for his dad, so don't worry. He won't yank you. He hasn't yet

no one here is in danger. Dennis has really good at identifying my pant legs, ankles, and shoes.

Now could I say that Dennis has taken a bit of a liking to his uncle, Sydney, You know, kind of wanted to hang out a little more -- Yep.

--

obviously calling him dad.

He calls me dad. He sits on my lap. We've been doing a lot of the, you know, going out on the boat, doing some fishing. Yeah. Introduce him to a couple of the pirates. You know, we're actually all getting along really well out there.

And he's has I I mean, he's obviously been probably tearing the ships apart and you know, lighting fires, all that No.

There's something about being on the water that, I guess, really calms him down. He's actually been drawing a lot.

Pick

yeah. He draws these family photos. It's they're actually really cute. It's it's me and him standing really close on the boat. And then you are in the water with a hook attached to you and he's using you as bait for the shark.

Oh my god. Very cute. I mean, this is Well, can we put I wonder where that means. This is adorable. We'll get this on Instagram.

This is everyone. Hang on. Hang on. He wait. So what is What is how does he draw your face? Are you are

you like telling We're arm in arm, we're both smiling, and we're laughing at you you know, as the bait in the water. It's it's hilarious. He's got a really good comedic sensibility.

A lot of the fish are kind of swimming by and about to bite and then and then doing kind of a disgusting thing with their putting their fingers on their noses. They Yeah.

He's he's gotten so into this original image that it's kinda turned into like a flip book. So the fish come up, they go pee, you, stinky, wouldn't eat this guy with somebody else's mouth,

yeah. I'm a grouper, the grossest fish, and I wouldn't even eat this.

It's one little scenelet.

That's right.

He's coming up with all this on his own?

Yeah. Oh, I'm just watching him. I'm saying, hey. You sure you don't wanna actually fish? She's like, no. This is what I want. This is exactly what I want.

That's interesting.

been getting along great. It's honestly been a blast. And I gotta say for me, it's called me down a bit, you know. Because the added response of build Added responsibility of having a kid on board, let alone my nephew, has really gotten me to just shape up a bit. You know, the boats are cleaner, They're running better. I gotta say having an extra set of hands around is not bad. And, you know, he's really good with a gun.

So we've

Nice. It takes after Huddl win there then.

Yeah. Well, the Huddl win he's pretty good with, but he's also been really good with the gun, been fending off some of the pirates that aren't really looking to work with us and just protecting the ship.

Now as a man of crowds, I I am trained to kind of read people and skip I'm seeing right here that you seem a little maybe jealous a little hurt And I I'm saying I see you. I hear you. And it's all good.

Come on. You're projecting here. I'm I'm not jealous. Listen. I listen. I'll tell you guys one thing about me. I'm not a jealous person. You guys know that I'm not a person who will will sort of lash out at people if they've gotten things that I want.

Well, we've seen that with you and Dwayne. He's obviously getting coffee with your wife two, three times a week.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it's, like, a fourteen week, it would be

because here's the thing. People need a lot of things. Okay? One person can't be everything that people need. Okay? So I I'm not gonna expect my wife to come to me for everything

that she needed.

Yeah. She comes to me for money. She comes to me for shelter. She comes to me to

come on. Get a third.

There's gotta be a third. We gotta find a third.

I'm sure. There's gotta be a third, and it's gotta be something personal.

Yeah. It's gotta be less

money based in housing. Come on. Hit us with a third.

She likes you for more than just resources. Right? She likes No way, yeah. What's

the let's look at her vows. Maybe her vows will give us some mouth here.

Oh, yeah. Two vows, sir.

You go, Dwayne's got the vows. Right? Why did why do you have a copy of her vows?

Oh, that that was kind of as best man at your wedding. I Hey.

You weren't the best man. What?

Yeah. I was.

Yeah. Yes. But I

do you mean, literally, you think you were the best man at my wedding?

Well, he Well, he held that vote at the reception of who's the real best next.

And there was some mudslinging in that election. And, you know, got a little dirty and some bribery and and some very dark money -- Mhmm.

got into it but at the end of the day I won by three votes best man at the wedding. I beat up Barack Obama.

--

I can't believe I can't believe people. Yeah, Barack How do you know Barack Obama Skip?

Well, we yeah. I actually have played basketball. One on one basketball them a bunch. Awesome.

You were in that one on one league with him.

Yeah. Yeah. For about four years. For his first term.

And that was what, you barack, deadlift shrimp, Jolieberman. Yes. Herman King.

Herman King. Scott

chris in there. Right? Kristincy's

and

christie was there. Christy was actually there. Uh-huh.

Bob Barker?

Bob Barker.

Kristen Peace.

Yeah. So you're

hearing about microphone. In peace? Yeah. Yeah. Bob Barker ended up losing eleven to nine to his microphone when

he had to with microphones him up all say, it was posting him up. That microphone owned the paint on Barker. No.

I mean, the microphone didn't even have to jump to dunk.

Oh, It's all bike didn't have to join. It just put the ball in and then it walks off with the dog and everyone's off from the behind. That dog was not spader neutered. That microphone has about forty dogs, and they

are fabulous. That mic couldn't be well, that's a good that's a really good thing for Republicans and Democrats out there to know that Bob Barker and his microphone couldn't be more different. And they worked together for almost thirty years. The microphone thinks dogs should have as many animals as they want.

Yeah. You know, as a prominent Republican celebrity, I think it is one of those things where can't we reach across the aisle and get along on some stuff Right? Like -- Right.

--

why can't we agree on a few things? I think that your life choices put you in hell and I should litigate them. And you think that it's okay to go into whatever bathroom? You know, I don't even get you but it's fine just not in my house is what I say.

Yeah. I love it. I'm not gonna lie. Let's not. You meet

john Voit. We try to

chop it up. Oh, no. I'm okay. You

less than we

were Stephen Bald?

Steven Baldwinwoman?

Me, Steven Baldwin, John VoIP, Alex Alec Baldwin's impression

james Woods.

--

james Woods.

--

Info Wars guy.

Alex John.

So Baldwin's impression of

trump is a problem.

With the crew. We do yeah. We do a we do a hike together which is really nice. We get some fresh air. We just talk about stuff. Man. We we just introduced the kids room which we're really excited about. We are all kind of taking turns babysitting your kids. So you can throw them in the kids room and we'll entertain them certain hours of the day. So so that you and you and the hubby can have a little time for mom and dad.

And and just so everybody out there knows, I know people like to play favorites with who's watching their kid. The schedule is posted at the beginning of the day, what hours, which of us will be in there, But I promise you don't need to avoid any of the four of us. We're all fantastic babysitters in our own way. Yeah. So so please just know that at any point in the day, if you drop your kids off in the kids kids' room, they will be well taken care of, well occupied. Overnight.

Stays too. We keep them overnight so you can get busy and dirty. Throw them down there. You can do it.

There's a big bowl of condoms right at the drop off zone. So you can drop your kids off, grab a big stash of condoms, and get out just get dirty.

And Sydney Yes. Be safe. I'll say, you know, bring your kids in whenever we'll all be good. But I will admit, I'm okay admitting I'm the loser on this one. Sydney that you're Mac and Cheese, the kids have been loving it.

Well, thank you. Absolutely.

What is that?

Well, it classic kraft macaroni and chips, ninety nine cents a box, but I put a little something extra in it.

It's in the blue box? Yep. It's blue box with pepper.

Blue box with pepper. And, you know, on occasion, if that doesn't work for the kids, I'll sprinkle in a little something else. Something, you know, that's just fun. Sometimes it's salt. Sometimes it's oregano. If they're really not going well, I'll do a little tiny bit of cocaine. Just so that they, you know, like me.

Right? Well, I I used to do a a little bit. I mean, a lot of people will say, oh, god. Cocaine. But they used to put it in Coca Cola. I don't know if you know where that that's where the name came from. Mhmm. Obviously, reebok used to be cocaine. It used to be really Coke. Mhmm. You know, it was in a lot of ingredients -- Yeah. -- recipes beforehand.

And it's not just my cooking that the kids love. You could honestly leave your kid there for twenty four hours a day, and they'd get something different all the time. You know, with me, we're gonna get nature excursions. We're gonna walk down to the tide pools, and we're gonna learn about that stuff. Obviously, with Dwayne, you're gonna get a different experience. The kids are gonna be sat still on a couch and made to listen to an old man sing at them for hours.

Which is as it As a kid, it's what I loved. Is your dad would sit you down and he put on his favorite records, Frankie, do you know my guys and it's just you know, It's what I like to chat about with the fellas now. What does a kid like more? A six year old, eight year old, that a man in a tux telling stories and singing songs about the time that the guy he was.

You go.

And I'll tell you what, it's surprising The

time about the the guy he was. Yeah. God, that was a good song. That was awesome. Sometimes, you nail it groomed, Wayne, and it's clear, and it's not confusing. And I love it. The time that's the guy he was. Yes. Oh, man. And a lot

of these children

a lot of these children, they don't even speak yet. And their first words are What? They don't they don't all these babies are going, what was it?

They play magnesium to kids to forced them into early cognitive thinking. Kids who have heard my music can solve puzzles at at very young ages. Right.

And there's you're you you released a a series of children's videos to rival baby Einstein that that is called baby what the hell? Right?

Yeah, baby. What the hell? It's all one word and it's a I put the whole thing out while I was having a stroke because I'm a workaholic. I mean, my wife used to always say, you you'd even work through a stroke and I ended up doing that. So album is a little confusing and there's some parts where it drops out a little as far as nonsense and not nonsense, but it's one of my top sellers.

Right.

And then of course if you go if you put your kids in there while drop cloth is there, he'll teach them you know how to turn different types of clothes into rags is a big one for you.

Yes. Yes. Well, you can't, you know, there's always stuff that has a second life, you know, as a handyman, you know, so you're turning clothes into rags to wipe up messes with. An old bed can be used for scratch pieces of wood. One of, you know, some food is food again. It's old food. Left over.

Yeah. Well, to a burrito bowl.

Yes. And you eat it at work, you know. But

--

but I've really been you know, I I I haven't been doing that much, Arega Yes brought on some help, and I've just kind of been you know, enjoying part of this, you know, how like restaurant tours they they eat a little bit. At their restaurants. It's more of a lifestyle, you know, and I am kind of enjoying this lifestyle of owning a resort and being a part owner. So I'll partake in a lazy river, you know. I'll And, yeah, right about about noon, I'll, you know, clock out, and I'll just kinda kick it.

--

to poo.

Yeah. I've seen your attitude change a little bit. You used to be just getting in there doing the elbow grease and just covered in dirt. But lately, you seem to be a little bit more, I don't know, cleaner and well dressed, and it's strange, to be honest.

Yeah. I mean, I went to a name in Marcus. And I'd never been in one of those places. And I bought up some new digs, and I got a new car. You guys saw my new car. I pulled up. I got rid of the truck. And the van, and I have a new car, and I gotta, you know

it's a gorgeous little fiat.

Yeah. It's it's taller than it is long.

It's very tall and thin. I would say. It almost looks like a phone booth driving down the road.

Well, it yeah. It's a Fiat short. It's a Fiat short. It's brand new, and it's It's skinny, but it's tall. And it's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian.

It's Italian.

A drop cloth. It's a fine car. It it really is and you know there's there's the new Hybrids obviously, there's electric. This one is green. What does this one run on? I can I can't place the smell?

Yeah. So this is the car you you're saying it doesn't run on gas.

No. No. And it

doesn't it's not a hybrid. And the color of the car is green?

Well, no. No. It's green like a a, you know, environmentally

right. Yes. Sound Yeah. It runs off of massage lubricant. So I back it up to the spa. Yeah. It runs off of massage

or the grease trap from the spa into into your car? Well, we

have a great spa that has, you know, no matter where you getting a massage, it all goes into the same grease trap like a grill. And so you could just unhack Our haul

is Yeah. Our spa is very similar to a griddle. It has it it all comes down to the front and grows into a trap. And these are giants. They are believable. So they they got Why do you say Italian now? Strap.

Why do you say What do

i say? What am I saying? A tanians. They're a tanians.

Well From

italy, it's a tan.

I think the car is fantastic, and we should, you know, I think we don't spend enough time talking amenities. Obviously, you can get a nice massage. You can get Shihatsu or scrambled. But my my preference is obviously flapjack where they flip you over a few times while they're doing it. The Gridle massages have been a would you guys say they've been a hit?

Well, yeah. Absolutely. And I like that you can I like that you can also you can be in there? And you can have five or six people getting the massage, and also they'll be baking there.

Yeah. And I'll say this I'll say this next time you're in there, try the egg in a hole. That's all I'll say.

Because because a lot I'll tell you this. A lot of people are like, I don't I don't feel like that's something I'd be into. I don't it's something that would feel good. But I tell you, if you go in there and you get the egg in the hole, you are gonna it's gonna feel good, and you're

Yeah.

gonna feel like this

is my new thing.

That's a strange one because it's not about eating the egg at all. They they put the egg in one of your holes, and it's it's a it's a spa treatment.

And I don't wanna spoil it. I mean, I don't wanna spoil it, but let's just say you're getting a golf ball up your nose.

Yeah. Yeah. No spoilers, but that's exactly what it is.

Well, because we've all had those pimples on our on our nose that that kinda, like, get they hurt real bad because they're deep in there. Once you put a golf ball up your nose and you have somebody press around on the outside, your pores just explode. And I mean that in literally and figuratively. It's it's a an open an opening of your soul through your nose holes is what I would say.

An opening of your soul through your nose hole and think everybody. That's the six thirty croon per second.

Now did you just set him up with that skip? Or did you just That

whole conversation was to get me to the six thirty kroon per second, and we hit it. Yeah.

Well, we've done a lot of great jingles around. For for the different amenities at subtle shores.

Yeah. Name an amenity and we'll go, we'll take you through the jingles because there's a lot of exciting stuff, you know. There's obviously the

what about the slide at the pool?

Oh, yes. Start getting the water. The slide is real dry.

Bad thing to hear when you're about to get on a water slide.

I think

we need to rethink Of course, there's our famous buffet that has three fantastic carving stations. A real salad bar

and

a dessert caddy.

And I think a real quick This is why we got bumped up to one thirty three. Is the salad bar is no longer plastic salads. It's all real.

It's real.

It's it's all and it's, you know, when you look at it.

We got our beef license.

And our dessert caddy, news, excuse.

See, I

am only zoomed right past that. We got our beef license.

We have our beef license. Well, our our steak license.

Well, what our steak learners permit. I we still have to work with an over twenty five year old steak expert.

That's right. He watches us cook, make sure we know what medium is, make sure we

know what river is. Salt Bay's son is on-site.

Pepper Bay.

And he's pepper Bay, a sneezy individual.

God bless you.

Yeah. He is a sneezy individual, isn't he?

And every sneezey individual.

He's a real sneeze bag, I would say.

He is. But but, Dwayne, I do have front row tickets to tonight six thirty. I will be there.

My biggest I'm

bringing a day Whoa.

Okay. Drop cloth. This is we have not talked much about romantic life on here, you know. Some of us like to keep it private, but drop cloth, tell us about this date.

Yep. I have been on the apps. So I, you know

let's roll this. I'm in right

yes.

Mozzarella sticks, calamari rings, fried pickles.

Mozzarella sticks is a little more for, like, quick in and out dip hookups and calamari rings, I would say.

Obviously, it's it's for multiple -- Yes.

--

multiple parts.

Multiple partners and you wanna put a ring on all of them.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And Ricata Yeah.

Believe it was. Ricata

is is nasty. I'll get on very hot, filthy, dirty, slimy, I'll get on Ricata late, and I'll chat with some ladies on there.

You think you never know with Ricardo. It could be any anyone, anything on there.

Yeah. So I did meet yeah. I did meet a woman on It was stuffed mushrooms. So we're coming tonight.

I do

not know that much about her.

Have you met in person yet or just chat. So No.

Just chat.

Can I ask this is kinda personal, but can I ask when's the last time you were on, like, a real person to person date?

Yeah.

That's a great question, and it has been a year because I've been heartbroken. I have been really, really heartbroken. And I just couldn't bring myself to meet anyone new because I was just thinking of my ex wife. I was just thinking about her, and she's moved on, and I was having trouble moving on. But I think I'm ready. And I do there's something about this woman I met on stuffed mushrooms, her I showed you guys her pictures

--

mhmm.

and her pictures

--

i'll say she's on the right app. She's on the right app. She looks like stuffed mushrooms.

Right. Because I was gonna say, stuff mushrooms is, of course, the dating app that's just for people with extensive plastic surgery. Right? Am I confused? Or is that is that the

yeah. No. You were you obviously, you've seen the commercials, which I because I'm the spokesman for stuffed mushrooms. If you're like me and you're covered in plastic surgery, stuffed mushrooms. Yeah.

Right. You bailed on that song quick and just got to you got to the the the the the brand.

I have to I have trouble keeping time without a Metro Well,

you're a crooner, not a jingler. No offense. Right. A jingler is a different beast, and you don't really put all your focus in that. It seems like.

Yeah. She looked like she is trying to be a new person with plastic surgery. Because underlying the plastic surgery, you guys have seen the photo. It looks like somebody we all know.

The woman?

Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely.

And she's trying to do a new life.

Mhmm. Yes. To me Oh,

a little bit like like, Skip's wife. Right? No. No. She just looks a little bit I'm not saying it's her. I'm saying looks a little No.

it looks

We're not saying it's her. We're not saying it's her.

Okay. Let's walk this this logic out to the end of the line here. If that say, for example, this is my this is my wife on stuffed mushrooms. Hey, it's a very I've seen I I've seen it. It's a verified profile, and you can't get verified on stuffed mushrooms unless you can present surgery receipts.

It's one of the most professional apps.

Yeah. And so my wife

appetizers.

Mhmm. And my wife, my wife, you've seen we've all seen her in regular life. She doesn't look like that. She hasn't had any surgery. Right. So there's no way that this lady on on this act I

because we so we're trying to figure out obviously on Twitter to get the blue check on stuffed mushrooms you get the blue cheese. How did she get the blue cheese? If it's not really your wife if you didn't get the real plastic surgery.

That's a great question.

It might not be your wife. I think all that your brother was saying is she looks a lot like your wife trying to maybe I don't know if she doesn't love you or Wait.

Right. So so so that's not true. Yeah.

My wife tells me has told me she loves me.

It could be.

Oh. Have you seen the he he videos on TikTok? Look at mine. Do Michael Jackson makeup and they go To that's

on, and

they answer

in that, man, man, oh, Yeah.

I've

seen that. It could just be your wife in MJ makeup.

Yes. She could be exploring.

I just don't think that she would be able to get verified. I think the only way it actually works is if the person who lives in my house who I see every day is wearing a mask to look like she did before she got the plastic surgery and actually underneath the mask she wears all day at my house? She's actually got got in that plastic surgery. You're saying the woman that I married is now pretending

to be the person she was.

Skin, can I ask you a question?

No way.

Can I ask you a question? Of course. You say you're at work all the time and you say you're you're so busy at work and you don't have time to spend with your kid. Maybe you don't have time to spend with your wife who's desperately looking for attention. Can I ask what it is you're so busy with? Because no offense. The chandeliers are the chandeliers are still up, and the I'll just say this. The lobby hasn't changed much in the last two weeks.

That is a great question for a workaholic. Would the world stop spinning off its access if you spent some time with your family?

And if you are gonna be a workaholic, Can you do some work?

I'll say this. All the work you guys have seen has been in the shadows and in the back end. It's all back end work I've been doing. Well, that's what I'm saying. If you can see the work having been done, then it wasn't done right. Like, you the way that the way that good work happens is that People, all of a sudden, one day, they're like, oh, this is different, but they didn't feel it happening. The things changed so slowly and so so so meticulously. That they didn't see it changing until it was already changed. And and then it's you know, they're like, oh, wow. This is totally different and new and better now. And that is what's happening with the hotel. Okay? All the back end changes to the database for the rooms. We talked about that. Okay? Like, finding homes for all of those chandeliers. Okay? That's a thing that doesn't just happen overnight, Sydney. I know that you like to live Skip.

I think you're having a breakdown, Skip. Skip. You're having a breakdown. You're making it longer and longer to do list every day, and none of those things are getting done.

You're what about the back end? I think the back end chain What's that?

He's staring out the window while he was delivering Well, it's it's monologue.

Staring out the window now is is is a sign that you're having a mental breakdown or you're avoiding things?

Okay. Well, you can't can't

look anybody in the eye that you're in the room with because you need to stare out the window. It's not a side.

I'm canceling my date. I just canceled it. Just out of respect. I'm a respectful guy. Alright? I don't date my friend's current wife.

Hey. That's bro code.

I'm putting up a boundary. I'm a bro, and I will not wine and dine. My best friend and business partner's wife while he's working at his job with her.

Where's your talk, sir.

Thank you. As Phil is working together, we should talk bro code a little bit because You're right.

Yeah. Then there's some stuff you wanna get on the same page with with your guys. And you it's it's could be hard if you don't understand stuff. We all grew up in different cities. Different eras for and I'm glad to hear that part of drop cost pro code is you don't go on a date with your friend's wife they're still married and she's secretly pretending to be a stuffed mushroom.

You're right.

I think, you know, I think I think you're right. I think we all have sort of our off limits things are things we're not willing to talk about, areas of our lives that each other are not allowed to touch or encroach on.

Mhmm.

You know? Yeah. For example, I fell in love with that mermaid. And I I know you all know that if we ever see her again, you guys are not to make a move.

Well, I'll I'll say this before you, Sydney. I I still to this day stand by my assertion that that was a manatee. Well, I I did. I

no. That was a gorgeous mermaid.

It's it feels like Wait. Are all manatee's men.

No. Okay. This is an interesting -- No.

little tangent here. Manatee.

--

I mean, Manatees.

They don't call them lady a tease.

Or is it manatees? So they're all women.

And now I'm seeing that maybe Sydney is agreeing with this.

Now you guys don't know anything about manatees. That you don't this you're not on to something here.

Wait. What is the top of this mermaid look like? Or what did the bottom half look like?

Well, you know Flippers. Classic mermaid flippers. You know, very sort of tapered near the bottom, and then, you know, it opens up a little bit towards the middle.

And what in

the top look like?

I would say, gorgeous hair, gorgeous beautiful hair, a few whiskers. Sure. A couple a couple whiskers.

And I couldn't be fish related. Yeah. I could be under water,

mermaid. So I

couldn't I couldn't tell this. I couldn't tell if it was a glimmer in the water. Or if it was two crisp tusks. I wasn't sure. But I'm

so it's So it wasn't a vanity then. It was a walrus.

No. It was a woman. It was a woman. It was a

it was a mermaid. Rush. I mean, it Russ is a man's name. Are all walrus' men that Man,

that's a great question. No.

You're not smart. You don't know anything about marine life.

Well, okay, let's see that. Let's try this. What was the woman's language of choice?

Well, you know, we didn't really get to talk a lot, but she went pretty nuts when I threw a fish in the water.

Okay. So no language but hungry for fish.

Yes. But wouldn't you be if you were swimming all day without any extra flippers, just your own?

That's interesting.

Are we talking arms?

Arms. What are those?

I know most armies have arms. So that's a good question.

Because it's human from the waist up.

Absolutely human from the waist up. I think she was wearing the clamshell bra. I thing. Mhmm.

And beautiful singing voice? Well, it was more

of a bark. I would say Exactly. But it was just because she was hopping out of the water real quick. She was gorgeous. And I swear to God, if any of you make a move on her when we're on the way out to the casino, I'll get I'll get

one last question. Did tourists gather and scream? Look, there's What did they say?

Well, I saw her first and I said, oh my god. That's a mermaid. I'm in love with her. So everybody just sort of said yes to that.

The Broco came into a

broco.

He came into play there and they backed up.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, big

well, considering

rose, if and and let us know in the comments, fellas. If your friend is dating a sea creature and thinks it's a half human half fish. Do it's pro code that you don't do you tell them or do you not tell them?

I think you've gotta tell

them, which is why I've said and especially if he's your brother, and you're afraid of how far he'll go in his sort of pursuit of of quote unquote love.

Wanted to see me with anybody. You never wanted to me with anybody. You would always try to block me, dude.

I would I was never trying to block you. I was just trying to get you to actually confront whether or not this person was good for you in the or was always no. That's not my fault. It's your choices. Okay?