Welcome to Last resort, the podcast where billionaire Jet centers eat prey lovers and a family of five. Just looking for a nice getaway, can tune in to get the inside scoop on the goings on at the one hundred and forty second best. Off beach, Gulf Coast vacation spot, in the beautiful US of A, subtle shores, resort, and buffet, and Offshore casino, folks. I'm Scott Skip Powell, one of your four hosts here with my brother and my TubeBuddy. Introduce yourself, guys.

Well, I'm your brother sitting right next to you Sydney Powell. And I heard that one forty two, and can I say I'm proud? Really? I'm proud. That's not that big of a fall.

Yeah. It is true. It's you know, we we landed gently. We cat like reflexes landed on our feet just a few floors down.

And pride always comes before the fall, they say.

Well, I'm proud.

Hey. And if you're always fallen, there is no before the fall. I know that's a defeatist attitude, guys. And I'm I'm in a bit of a I'm in a bit of a mood this week, but You

can't

we we should just move Well, you guys should introduce yourselves. Just just keep going.

Crude in Duane Newman over here, I'm I'm not gonna lie. I'm trying to be a little more honest when present with where I am, and I'm hungover. I I went a little hard after the we soft opened the offshore casino and I feel like shit, but I've got my bloody margarita here. Bloody margarita. I don't see my mouth.

You shouldn't be drinking that. That was a

well, we've heard of a bloody Mary or a bloody Maria, but a bloody margarita, you sort of have two full drinks mixed than one.

Yeah. Somebody got cut at the margarita bar last night, a little bit of blood. Blent out. So I think you you accidentally grabbed a bloody margarita instead of Mary Mary.

Well, whatever it is, it's gonna cure what hails me, and I think I'm addicted. I think I need blood now and my morning drinks, but I'm hungover. And feel good, and I feel my teeth growing, and I'm afraid of my Well, you're

a little bit older man. So you're probably feeling good, like, one of those young guy transfusions.

That's exactly right. I'm getting blood transfusions through a drink.

I think your stomach's taking all the nutrients out of it before it gets into system.

What do you mean?

The platelets and the blood. You're not Well,

i mean, you're looking a little distended.

Yes. Big tummy on Dwayne over there. Big Big And

and I will say a sudden big tummy.

A sudden big tummy.

I've been trying to figure out some health issues, so I'm on the salt diet.

And I Big ankles too.

I'm sorry. Was that mandated by a doctor, or is that just kind of a thing you're trying

out? Oh, yeah. This doctor it's all doctor stuff. It's all doctor stuff.

Hey, everybody. My name's Joe Young. You can call me drop cloth, and no, I have never smoke cigarettes, my voice is just like this.

Joe Joe was the at the we'll get into the soft of of him. Sorry.

I'm all

over. Nope. Don't worry.

Said it right.

That's right.

Well, a

couple of us Ofted on a little bit of the opening and yeah. He's got us.

And let's just say that you know, you could probably tell a

bunch of stories. That was in the that was in the the first write up, more like a soft open.

Well, they told me to dock the boat, and I missed and I well, I docked the boat. If you know what I mean, I came up onto the dock rather than right next to the dock.

Everybody's seen the very famous video where the six or seven people are in the speedboat, it gets some air. It starts to turn. Bam. Bam. In the floor, they're all hurt bad? Well, we had a situation very similar.

Let's just say it was viral part two.

Yes.

Yeah. Everybody, if you wanna people go ahead.

Dwayne went down a hard, right into the window. And I do wanna say that's probably why your stomach is so bulbous. It's got a it's bulbous. It's boneless. It's very boneless, and I think it's because of the the the speedboat accident we were all in. We're all on the mend.

We're It's a combination of things. Yeah. We've already discussed the salt the salt diet, which has to be playing a part, maybe being

well, normally, we take the ferry out there, but I had already been out once that day and forgotten my phone. So we wanted to get back out there quick and ride on the speedboat. And I'm just not used to docking that

well, here's the thing. I think you gotta throttle down. And I know that that's not a phrase you like to say, sister.

No. Because here's what people don't know. When you're on the water, there are no brakes, you know? Nobody knows. Used to hitting the brakes, but when you're on the water, you have to keep the engine going. When you're off the throttle, you're off the wheel.

Yes. And you know that.

Say last resort exclusive. When you're on the water, there's no breaks, folks.

Yes. Yes.

That and that's from a professional captain. You need throttle to turn. Right?

It's just like

just not as much as I used. You

and what What you are used to doing the slide on Mario Kart, where hop up and you get the slide. Exactly. And in a boat, when it gets choppy out there near the offshore casino,

does it? And a big issue with Right. As we were getting kinda we hunted down by a red shell. There's a red shell coming at us.

Red child coming at us.

These pirates they'll take info from wherever they can get it.

That's right.

When you got a red shell on you, you know your days are numbered. That shit is devastating.

But we hit that with a lightning bolt shrink their little asses.

Yeah. It's the only reason we got out there safely until

well, Dwayne had some diarrhea and put oil up on somebody's windshield.

That's right. Thank you, Dwayne.

Appreciate that.

We could cut the first half and just say I put all up on somebody's windshield.

I don't That's got that part. You put oil up. Some sticky oil the way you help this out.

And it stank. Number one. Oh.

Oh, wee dog. But wow. Almost did a crew in there.

Yeah. It's contagious. We talked about it the last episode. I've been I've been it's been contagious.

But folks, the big news is the offshore casino is up and pretty much running.

Yeah. You know, we we haven't hung the grand opening sign yet because as you do with like that. You want a soft open sorta see how -- Yeah.

--

see how things go without a a a rush. Yeah.

And before we get GW Bush out there to do the big grand opening with the sign. Oh, that's right. We booked George W. Well, his paintings are in

yeah. His paintings are all over the lobby.

Well, big exclusive. We got George w, Bush's patents in the lobby of the And Carrie's.

You too, Gary.

You too, Carrie's?

Some Carrie. Jim Carey.

We got Jim Carey's political stuff, which is really freaking people out. Yeah.

And we got some of John Carey's comedy, which is really side.

Yeah. John Carey is doing his flip flop power.

Yes.

Well, here's the thing, guys. With a with a space as big as this offshore casino, we're we're we have space to fill, time to fill. So we had to kinda just sort see what was out there and take the first things that that sort of fell in our lap.

And we

can be honest, these ex presidents are looking for a way to get off of America mainland. Because now that you know, America's coming to be what it is. Yeah. Everybody who's in in charge before -- Yeah.

--

they're mad at him.

Yeah. Every a lot of presidents are coming to us to do their hobby. Yeah. And that's awesome. We're kind of a a little landing spot for them to get their hobby

off the bat. I was really excited when Jimmy Carter hit us up and asked if he could perform Little Wayne's the Carter three.

Yeah. The Vinenie Carter three?

Yeah. The Jimmy Carter three. We do that at a Interesting hobby for him. Yeah. Honestly, you've never expected from a guy like him, but in practice, it works.

His email, the subject line he double underlined to unsent. Answered also.

Yes. Yes.

So he's he's giving us the full Carter three. Jimmy Carter showed up, fucked up on Lean.

Oh my god. Face tatted.

It actually chilled him out

a little

bit, though. He makes more sense leaned up.

Yeah. Jimmy Carter's and we're losing. We got a sick call. We got another

it's another sinkhole.

We're losing, skipped in a sink.

Alright. The sink will get you now. Be careful with those sharpest chairs. We're talking

about the sinkhole. There only one sinkhole here at the hotel at subtle shores. I don't know if you're looking on Yelp or whatever. There's not fifty sinkholes. There's one and we purposefully use it as our recording space just so that, you know, everybody else is safe.

It's just like the banner says out front, subtle shores, buffet and offshore casino, just one sinkhole. That's right. And under new management, I think we got on there. Right?

Yeah. The good

thing about it.

Under new under new management, but we'll fix that.

Yes. Yeah. Spalling her. Also, the I I I'll tell you all this. I think it was a very good good idea to bring on Oreggy s parsley parsnip as a a managing partner. Mhmm. Because, you know, we were having trouble. And so the new management thing, it's not a lie. And it was time

to do it to h y m e.

It was

it was. Butterfly. The gorgeous, Dwayne pretending like he loves the small things over there. Dwayne, Dwayne,

really, basically. Dwayne, really performing

nine, miss lately.

Dwayne out doing big shows, bird watching on the grounds all the time. You're like, gorgeous robbing.

I take all my dates on a walk where I know I'll walk past a flower and I'll sniff that thing. Yes, sir,

dwayne.

But, yeah, we overall, the soft open or whether it's I'm hungover

is because we parted. We had a blast.

Yes. So here's the thing at Settle Shores is you could party with the management. Yeah. And my you know, on my Wednesday night show, we do the after show

--

uh-huh. -- after the show is the after after show. And then after that is the Caldwell and Uber and make sure he gets home safe.

And that's one of the fun parts for the audience. They really get to get their hands on the show, and even the performer, if they're lucky.

Yeah. Yeah. It took about seventeen people to get me home last night. Seventeen lucky fan. They were having them

last, I will say. In the beginning. Yeah.

Yeah. You passed out in the crowd surfing portion. You were kind of a lifeless body there getting tossed around. You made it too far back in the crowd. You fell off towards the back the ballroom.

Yeah. I I wiped out in the crowd surf. I passed out and I wiped out. And

and you actually were hit by a big foamy thing, like, on the show, Shark. Yes.

Oh, like the show wipeout.

Like

the show wipeout.

Yeah. I ended up crowd surfing through a wipeout episode.

Yeah. Rob Briggle roasted your ass.

That guy is personable and you see he he hits all quadrants including crooning. Yes. Football. Alternative comedy

--

uh-huh.

--

big budget movies and crooning side side by side of

the spectrum. Of course, crooning.

But I wanna thank everybody for not. Well, for not robbing all of my money after the pass out, I obviously carry cash only Yes.

You and you don't use a bank account. You just keep all your cash on you.

No. You don't do you don't do bank accounts anymore. I don't I I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist as I think drop cloth and I really get along

on this stuff. Yes. Yes.

Once they have your bank account, they have all your information.

Uh-huh. And if if we can be honest, I think for Skip and I, this has been a bit of a problem dealing with you guys' conspiracists. It's been tough to

get

things going when you don't believe that anything is above board.

Well, it was especially tough when we were getting the casino off the ground. I got smallpox. Because I, of course, I'm not putting that scene in me. I don't do no scenes.

Which is vaccine? Vaccines. Yes. Because you do make a scene.

I make a scene. From that scene. Yes. Yes. So thanks for letting me take off a while. Honestly for that.

Sure. Sure why

i don't get it. Well, I got hugepox

--

mhmm. -- which has not been around for about four hundred or five hundred years.

Well, And I'm not convinced that that's necessarily even a disease. It might I'm to me, it feels like you just have a few moles.

And I'm still

and I'm still pretty sure it's road rash. I'm pretty sure that that one big scab on your back is road rash.

Well, okay. I did get my huge pox right around when my moped spun out.

That's a spun out.

Yeah. Well, that thing goes it's a ten cc moped, and I tried to take it too hard and I spun out in a street race. With Harry Connick Junior.

He was on foot. Yes.

And you weren't sure that you were gonna beat him,

so you It was.

You had to really run It

was more of a street chase. I ran over hair cutting through your foot.

So you were trying to write it down because you were jealous of his career. They went no. I there's no reason to

no reason. No reason. No. But, yeah, that guy, I will say from one crew to another guy can hit it high now when you run over his big toe. Right. And he also could beat the crap out of you, what you did to me.

Yeah. Well, you look good despite all the ways that you look back. Yeah.

You want because, you know, we said distended belly road rash all over my back. Huge pox.

But I'm

saying, despite all the things we know that are wrong with you, other than that, you look pretty healthy.

I gotta thank my plastic surgeon on that one.

Yeah. Sides of your mouth pulling down and back hard.

I made an emergency appointment.

And it seems like you're tightening up actively.

Yeah. You said you had to go golfing this week, you came back with a tight lower lip.

Yeah. I well, we installed a thing. You know those this is a little blue, but you know how you can get a vibrator that a control from your phone on somebody. There's probably a better comparison.

But Right. Yeah.

It's just what's knocking around in your head.

It's just what I've got in my mind for some reason. We we did thing where he now can wirelessly tighten me up.

That's beautiful.

And you send him little coin sounds, clean clean.

And it is viewable, unlocked. Right? Only Wayne?

Only way.

Yeah. It's a sign up for my only way that you can pay to tighten me up, face. That's interesting. Face is ten dollars a tighten. Tummy is twenty. Yeah. Cabs and feet is fifty.

That's the most expensive one.

Tighten up your feet.

And I'll send you a used to pay for a hundred dollars.

Damn. Where's this seventy billion at? What is happening?

It's in my bank account that no one can touch except for me, which I don't trust. But I gotta talk about skip because I have a feeling you're one of those guys who can never be happy because I'm happy with the soft open and you've seemed depressed ever since.

Well, ears the thing. As everybody knows, I took the last week off to kind of try to reconnect with the family and experience the resort as it's intended to be experienced And I'll get I guess I'll be honest with you guys. I I've spent my whole life behind the scenes, and when I finally sort of stepped out into the world and saw what we were offering to people, I'm not saying that I'm out on the place

--

of your business.

--

yeah. I'm not saying that I'm out on the place. I'm just saying there's part of me that thinks maybe this place sucks.

No. Well, not let's not do this on

the app. Well, look, I know. No. That but I think this is part of transparency. It's okay. Now, I've experienced things. And you guys you guys have have you guys were there. You saw everything that we we were doing. Yeah. You know, there's there's room for improvement. You know? Like, obviously, I went I I started my morning. I went and used the in house gym -- Mhmm.

--

which which I'll say this, probably could use a few few more machines.

And it shouldn't be in somebody else's house. Exactly. Yeah. It

should be on premises.

First of all. For now, the in house gym is in Jim's house. Yes. And it's a little confusing.

And the in house gym on fortunately, if you need to go to the restroom, has an outhouse.

Yes. And that's in John's house.

Right.

So if you use the John, the outhouse in John's house.

And but,

yeah, you have to get through through Jim's house, which is the

house gym. Gym. Yeah.

Of course. But, you know, so it just it made me feel like I realized for the first time that we'd spent so much time thinking about this offshore casino, putting so much effort into getting this ready to open for the public that we may have let other aspects of the resort fall by the wayside.

Well, had you had the elliptical been delivered? Did you use the elliptical?

I'll say a machine had been delivered. And if elliptical was the intended shape that not

it was it was unfortunately a circular.

Yes. A elliptical? It was a elliptical.

It was a circular machine with a lip

so you were getting your lips tickled in the little hamster

wheel? Yes.

Which was confusing.

That's not a workout for them.

It was a shame. Know. Was it did you get winded?

I mean, I ended up sweating, but I feel like it was stress.

Stress wet. Stress sweat.

Yeah. A left tickle.

I got I was in the ellipt tickle machine, And I was just I I was like, is this really what we're planning to offer all of our guests? Because, you know, we have a certain standard of of of of of I can't think of the right word. A certain standard that we have of object. Standard to quality. And it felt like this was Well, it all the words are the same. But is this really the experience that we wanna offer people? Yeah. You know? And so

i brought in a celebrity.

God. A gorgeous butter.

Oh. Who left it? Oh, my fingers. Almost on my over, baby. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies love I'm exhibiting. I love the environment, ladies. See beauty. Now what I do feel like I brought in a pretty big get this week. I, of course, set it up by noon so I could take off for the of the day and enjoy the the fruits of our labor, but the shwim up bar.

Yes. Okay.

What about the shwim up bar? That was

the swim up bar in the pool. Yes.

Well, David Schimmer is not the bartender we anticipated that he would be.

Right. He is not very good. He's an actor. And he could play the part. He put a he put a little towel on his shoulder like he was a bartender. And he's

and he's making it look like he's making it drink, but there's just nothing in

the substance. Are bad. Had a drink. I I went up. I swam up to the bar -- Yes.

--

and I I ordered I Of course. I ordered It's a

themed bar, so you have to go

c h. Yes. You have you must use s c h's at the bar. Yeah. So you swim up and you shed excuse me.

Well yeah. I said, excuse me, mister Swimmer. Did you scarred you? He yes.

Did you discard it?

I got scarred it.

And they also have to add this and an h behind a c.

Yes. Yeah. And I said I said, obviously, obviously, I'm I'm over twenty one.

Of course.

And so he he asked me what I wanted to drink, and I said, well, I'll take a white Rush Oh, but no.

But no. No. But no.

I know. He got upset. And he did not give me my drink. And I'm afraid that that's gonna be the kind of thing that happens to to guests. If they don't know the very particular rules of our bar. They walk up to the to the counter. They ask for their drink, and they get refused service.

So it was a little overly themed. Yeah. A little overly fun.

I think that's what I'll say. And and and so I don't know. I'm not I think this was a good experience because now I know there are things we need to improve that just because we have the best offshore casino

--

right.

--

on the Gulf Coast coast right now doesn't mean we can leave the resort and the buffet.

Well, that was me attempting to bring something to the back to the shores because we put so much into the the offshore Sino.

Well, and you were working on his RV. Right? That's how you hooked up with Schwim?

Yeah. Schwim came through. His RV was a little on the Fritz's. And I was I I did a couple of just small repairs to it. Small. You're small repairs. And, you know, I was like, well, while you're here, maybe we could get you behind the bar for a swim up bar, and he's like, I that. I'll try it.

You loved it right away.

He loved it immediately.

That's how you know a good celebrity is that if they like the idea, they're on board and swimmers are the man with stuff like that.

He he was game. So

but And

you gave his RV the Rachel?

Yes. I shortened up the hair. I gave it some body,

a little bummed you shortened the hair that was already on the already. Yes. Will you guys

know that van in dumb and dumber? It's like that, but it's a grown out sheepdog.

It's a swim dog.

It's a swim dog. So I cut it up, I trimmed it up, I blew it out, and yeah. It was game.

So wait, did you do any mechanical work? No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

I I

and I'll say this, From all of America, we're loving the show on Netflix we live what you did. You gotta move past friends swimmer. I mean, driving around in a truck with the Rachel.

Right.

Yes.

I guess he never got over that TV show marriage.

And like a lot of the countries, Yeah. Honestly, you know.

I mean, we're still asking if they were on a break.

Well, that is the question, isn't it?

They were on a break.

That's right. Yeah. But, folks, the casino is up and it is ready. It has been softly opened, and it's about to be grandly open.

And I would watch our use of words there. The casino is ready. I wouldn't say up because as we all know we had the old one eighty on the water there

--

sure.

--

or the casino flipped.

Yes. Yes.

But it's luckily, our casino is built like a jet ski, and it's made to flip and float. And all you have to do is get behind it, flip it back over and climb on from the rear, and you're back into the casino. Yeah.

As long as you have any sort of core strength, you'll make it right back on. And so, obviously, some of stuck in the water for a while.

We haven't been able to flip

it back

over yet,

but it is designed to be flipped back over.

But I importantly, I take, Sydney, is the pirates But

it just tightened you up? I heard a little quickly

but you Shittin' here.

Oh, it's loosening up now.

Oh, there we go. Importantly, I would say that your you heroically dressed down some of the pirates who were getting a little confident there. They're pirate dealers

--

right.

--

with our pirate pit boss. You know, they were getting a little pushy with the customers pillaging.

Yeah. Stealing at gunpoint, knife point, sword point, all of it. And I was saying a lot of sword point from these pirates.

And I was just saying group tap dances. Just clogging and clogged.

Moreographed, a lot of guys were getting up in crows nest to hurl insults at customers.

Mhmm.

It was Oh, I got Yooed. I got Yoed several times.

I know. You know, for me, it's a culture thing. They're gonna have to have a little bit of time to assimilate. You gotta remember, these guys are on the open sea killing and murdering people constantly. So it's gonna take some time for them to become indoor casino dealers.

Yeah. All these people on Twitter are immediately dragging the pirates, and it's like, hey, what if instead of pushing them away, we let them in.

Exactly.

We opened our hearts to the pirates and said, Hey, we don't Yoho anymore.

Have you

ever thought that maybe they just need some land to stand on?

Mhmm.

It's a

solid ground. I bet you'd be pretty aggressive if you lived on a ship with ten other assholes your whole life. I bet you would. I bet you would. And and add to that. Add to that, you only have one eye, a peg leg, and are a classic cartoon style pirate. It's got them frustrating.

It's very frustrating.

I mean, you're you're that close to a parrot, all time. It's like living in a bird case.

I can't even handle the voice in my own head. Let alone a parrot right outside.

Yeah. You know how you go to someone's house and they have a bird. And you make a huge judgment about their personalities just from that one pet.

It's really all you need to know.

They're human bird cages. They're disgusting.

Well, I feel like this is a little bit directed at me.

God, you're tight.

Thank you.

You look good. Yeah. Tell us about your bird.

Well, I I have several different birds in my house. And a lot of them, you know, it's it's the first couple were to mess with the HOA.

It's just a mess with them.

Yeah. Because there's nothing better or worse than being the neighbor of someone who has a bird because those things will wake you up. They squawk, they clock.

But let's talk about your real I mean, you bought two can Sam.

Yes. I bought two can Sam from Tony the Tiger. Uh-huh. And You all saw that movie that was so popular that Sears, what was it about the tie the Tiger King?

The Tiger King.

They've got the same thing at sanctuaries for different bird spokespeople, so big birds there.

That smacks frog is in there?

The smacks frog is there. You you which no. He's been returned twenty or thirty times.

And Captain Crunch is kind of the overlord that it cutting corners on feeding them and stuff.

Yeah. Well, they call them exotic crunch now.

Well, I interviewed Captain Crunch to come on as our second boat And let me tell you, he is a tough customer.

He he retired a while ago. He he wants to get back in the game. Yeah.

He cuts the roof of my mouth. He came in, cut the roof of my mouth all up. I know. I was like, damn, Kevin.

I know. I thought he was softening when he went all berries, but no.

No. You guys, that was a new mixture.

Milk for a while before he calms down.

I actually think he was upset about the whole all berries thing because it there it was a big oops.

Yeah. He oops. Yes. He introduced us to the years.

He tried to play it off, but we all know.

Well and the guy that did the oops all berries, this guy whoever's running the factory, then they get him over at the Twyx factory. And now you don't even know the difference between the left twix and the right twix.

I know. They get

this guy should not run factories.

He's failing up or It's like classic America, really.

CEO's failing up. But but

speaking of going a certain

direction, the associates put us at one forty four on that list. We should we should talk about that a little more.

Was it one forty four, one

forty two? One forty four.

One forty four. I was

proud it was for one two

forty nine anymore. We went up to which we were expecting to bump up once we opened, and the people could come in here and see what we were working on. Right.

Well, I'd like to do a little thing here. I pulled up some customer reviews. Because we're getting some of those in in our in our compliment box, which is the suggestion box that we renamed. And maybe we can read a few and address the -- Yeah.

--

some of the great experiences people are having here. Right. Should we get those together? Take a break and come back and discuss those?

I think

that sounds like a good idea. Well and we actually have secure to sponsor for the episode, so we I think we actually have to run an ad. Wonderful.

Folks will be right back off this little break,

too tight.

No. I'm hungry.

You're telling me, I haven't eaten in days.

Well, you guys are hungry but I have low energy and I'm thirsty.

Well, dang, where on earth would we find a place that would suffice both for those.

Being on. What's this? I just googled the things we need, and the first thing coming up is Tiffany's cow house.

Oh, well. Really? Whoa. What could Tiffany's cow

houses deal be? Cut to Tiffany's cow house.

Hi, I'd like a large coffee, and I don't know, something hearty to eat.

Dang, we should probably order what this guy's ordering.

Hi, good friend, stranger, who are you?

Hi, my name is Bill Clinton, and I would love a seventy two ounce steak and a fat ass red eye.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

A fat ass red What's that?

That's a large coffee with an espresso shot dropped into it.

Dang, what we were just talking about being hungry and tired. Whoever thought that the exact Wait. Wait a second.

Did I remind you?

We know we have

not have sexual relations with that woman? We know, Bill. No need

to absolve yourself of guilt from many years ago.

Thank you.

I feel So anyway.

Give me some space here. We're having our own thing. Alright.

What what do you say table for three?

Sure. You could have a tea tree.

You know, I can play the saxophone.

Shut up, Bill. Shut up. Are you going? Or I

heard it was a yogurt stay.

Bill, I think our waiter might be Ronald Reagan.

Who be? Ronald Reagan? Whoa, Ronald.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. That coffee sure will trickle down through that steak and into your blood

do you work here, Ronald? Because we're hung agree and we need something.

And I'm your host and wait.

Wait. Bill looks pretty mad. I just saw Ronald Reagan is hanging out with Monica. We you in the back.

That's right.

It's fine. It's fine.

Monica is a wonderful waitress.

Okay. Could we just get a table, please?

Sure. Anywhere you'd like.

I'll still have the steak of coffee, please.

Alright. Let's send you over here by this group of guys. Hey, guys. How's it

going? Four score

and seven years ago. Abe, honest, Abe. Jesus, Christ.

I'm out of here.

Some go to Anna. JFK was shot.

JFK was shot by the guy that shot leaking.

Wilkes booth. I'm back back at the New York. Damn. Wilkes booth doing a dance. Hell, yeah. Wilkes booth getting funky in here.

When I walk You fap.

Jeez. I won't boost my shot. Oh my gosh. I've got chilling. Like, last time. They RBS hold miss Wilkes booth and hit Clinton.

Was one last kiss for Monica.

Monica. Is she gonna do it? Oh my god. She's shoving a cigar up Clinton's butt. What?

Mark for me.

My goodness. Things have really gotten out of hand in here.

Oh, my God. A third shot. Johnny fostered the shot, Reagan? Well, damn, I think we'll take a stake.

Hey. Well

done. But I still need my coffee.

Come on down to the cow house. Where everything is fine.

Oh boy, yeah, could they make me another drink real quick?

Do you need one?

I don't think you need one there, buddy.

I don't the best way to get over a hangover is a nice bloody drink.

Well, you've already had hair of the dog, and that's not helping you.

Well, yeah, it will I think the issue was it was a hypoallergenic. I think I need hair of the

--

beast.

--

the beast.

Yeah. I hear you. Well, I think, you know, maybe maybe you just Oh.

Fake, smaller on that one. Well

well, folks, thanks so much for sticking out through the break. We as we said before, the break, we wanted to take a peek in the old compliment box, which is what we call our suggestion box. So we all pulled out a review. We wanna read live on the air if we wanna address people's comments, concerns, live, because, again, in an effort to be more transparent about how things go, That's right. We'll just do it easy. So

mine is actually pretty long. It's it's like a full Yelp review. Yeah.

You wanna you wanna just go ahead and

yeah. Why don't I jump in there? Yeah. Okay. So here's our first review. This is from Gary.

These are the compliment reviews.

Thank you, New Year. My name is Gary, and I brought my family to Settle shores this week. And other than the food, it stang. Okay.

Other than the food.

Okay. First, the food. Delicious. Great. All you can eat macaroni and beef mountain dew marinated wings, and hot fried salads. Mhmm. Never seen anything like it and will be back for sure. Next, the casino. While playing tug of war for money, the entire casino flipped in the water like a jet ski and my son watched a man die. Great appetizers at the casino, though, deep fried feet, pirate finger, and white brownies.

That's a blonde, usually.

That's a blonde.

Yeah. One part of our single pirate finger that must have been the person who got it.

Will deaf be back for apps. Okay. So that's good. He's gonna go back to the casino even though it flipped. And finally, the spa. The wife and I booked a couple's massage, the masseuses were professional and knew what they were doing, but it wasn't made clear that they would also be a couple. In the in the ambiance was slightly ruined by their argument over in laws and embezzling family money. Wow.

Well, I guess we gotta talk to Robert and Sarah

about that. Yeah. Yeah. Overall, five out of ten. Great food, very dangerous, and slightly confusing advertising I will be back again without my wife and kids, parenthesis, divorced and lost caused by trip. Settle Shores for life, greedy Gary. Wow.

Must Wait. It's very it's very cool that despite all the tragedy, his son, single man, die, He will be back.

Hey, I

knew that our food was good.

That's a great review. The

i I think all things considered, that is a positive. Did he leave a star rating?

Overall, five out of ten.

Yeah.

Five out of ten.

So no stars, but ten.

Okay. It was introduced it it was interesting that he introduced himself as Gary and he closed with greedy.

I noticed that too,

developed a nickname.

He realized Via though

you know.

He was riding real.

Well, it's like he he maybe was given the name greedy Gary via the divorce and kid I'm

on the way out. That's interesting. On the way out, that's what his wife kid said to him while he was writing the review.

That's right.

The man wrote a review during his divorce.

Oh my god.

Well, I will say I I thought we knew I'll say this. We knew the parts that weren't working, and he confirmed it for us. But I am very glad to hear that the white brownies and the white brownies do taste as good as they do.

That's right.

White brownies are killing. And you said they're called blonde 90s?

Well, typically, you call a a a non chocolate brownie a blonde. Blonde. Right. It's

usually lighter than that.

Well, because we were calling the regular brownies brunettes.

That's right.

We were like gonna go get a brunette and get a white brown

that's right.

But we could call them brunettes and blondies. I like that.

And of course, the carrot cake brownies were gingers. Mhmm.

Right. And and Duane's drinking a red head.

That's right. So this is Your second blood cocktail. This is yeah. This is the blood of a red head, and I don't know much beyond that. But I get him feeling invigorated with this Look at

the bubble. You can see the bubbles developing in his stomach from the outside.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep.

And you they're doing a play in your belly. Right? On the distend?

Yeah. So it's stuff that right four, it's gone to the west end. They'll try stuff out on the distant. And so right now, there's this very interesting othello happening in my tummy.

Wow. Classic. Yeah. I love to catch plays in the distance. I'd love to go in Osmosis Jones style and maybe get a little more cold

and they're doing osmosis Jones. Isn't that right?

Yeah.

Yes. This is

osmosis Jones is inside of you right now clanging around saying this is gross?

Osmosis Jones. It's kind of a

he's commenting on the environment.

Yeah. There's a little more crowd work than the movie, and I guess he's pretty unhappy with what's happening in there.

But it is still voiced by Chris Rock?

It's still Chris Rock doing osmosis Jones and people he's great at voice over. I think on camera, a lot of people don't buy ChrisRock. You can't see him in think, like, that's somebody else.

Right.

But voice over, he's really, really kills it.

That's great. That's fantastic. Yeah.

Well Well,

thanks for these reviews, guys.

We love this. You're putting

in the compliments. Thank you for greeting Gary, and let's keep going.

Yeah, I guess I I can go for one here. Mine's not quite as long as that one, but this one comes from Let's see. Paul. So what's the deal with the beds?

It's an iPhone. Okay, Paul. Sure. I did think I saw someone come in in a pretty nice porch last week.

So what's the deal with the beds? Are these things made out of cardboard boxes? Yes. Play to audience. That's weird. I I called the front desk, and I was on hold for fifteen minutes. It says to go up at the end.

Really?

That's seinfeld. Paul This

is him. Then

--

oh. -- I got transferred, long pause, to the main department. It gives me all of these directions to read in here.

Where I think, I just overheard a

conversation about how you can filter coffee with beach sand. Between two guys who sound like their throats are made of cigarette smoke.

Drop up? Wanna miss me, obviously. Drug club and peace

you are always looking to cut corners.

Siny name jogging me almost.

And you have, like, Smeegle like arguments with yourself about different things like the filter.

I go back and forth.

Then it goes on here, I guess, if I would compliment something, it would be that I think you all forgot to charge

me. Although -- Yep.

--

that wasn't too bad. So anyway, I don't think I'll be returning. Unless it's being used as a hurricane relief shelter.

Okay. I

was gonna say he got less funny

again, but that did seem

like a punch line.

It's far enough from the beach that I will probably be safe. Thanks for nothing, Jerry, oops, I mean Paul.

Wait. So he said, I will come back He He's making sure to cover his bases in case there's a hurricane.

He doesn't wanna get well, he doesn't wanna get called out for coming back in the event of a hurricane is what it sounded like.

He

he doesn't wanna say I'll never come back.

Which we will do, we'll take you any word.

Yeah. If you if we open this up for the relief of a hurricane, and you've you've trashed us. We'll keep yeah.

Yeah. And I will say let's not forget that that was part of our business model of why we put this place here. We wanted to be a hurricane shelter

--

right.

--

knowing that that causes a great influx of need for shelter.

Yeah.

But we're charging top dollar.

Yeah. I mean, you can stay here. In the event that we're being taken over by FEMA or whatever, you can stay here for free.

Oh, feed look and pry this place from our cold dead hands. Yeah. This is our hurricane shelter. If there's a FEMA situation, we'll let people in. Yeah. For top dollar? Yeah.

Let them even know that we're happy to rent to them at full

cost. Full.

Oh, yeah. So that that for sure was Jerry Seinfeld. At least for the first

well, that was a great review there, Skip. We appreciate you.

Thanks, Paul. Jerry Seinfeld. So folks, yeah, of course, if you wanna Paul stayed in room seven thirty eight. So if you wanna stay in the same room as Jerry Seinfeld. Mhmm. You could have a similar experience as him.

And the

beds are nice.

Yes. It's I mean, I'll say this. We do have a few mattresses that are leftover from the sort of the when it was just being a sort of model, a model home kind of situation, like a temporary room.

And credit where credits do is a good eye. The box springs our cardboard. Right. But the mattresses are not. Yeah.

It caused a little bit of a lumpy situation.

Well, it's lesser box spring, and it's more of a box.

It's a box winter. It's very cool.

Got from Beacons, the moving company, Beacons.

Beacons.

Beakins. Especially, thanks to Beakins. For all our beds, bathtubs, and showers, and towels, and sheets and TVs begins. Give us their boxes.

Let's say you begin.

Rugs, ceilings, walls.

And, again, they didn't give us any of these products, just the boxes for those those products. It's every box here. It's all shorts.

Who here? Big portion of this resort is made out of cardboard. For now. For now.

The more you guys come, the more we can make it That's real.

And we really, again, we do have to thank you so much for all these complimentary reviews. They are our guiding light in a storm. No pun intended. It's a real storm right now right now.

I've got one here, a review.

Oh, thank you drop it

off. At Thank you. Uh-huh. Now, this is I thought it was from anonymous, somebody who didn't wanna be named, but it's from unanimous. It's from unanimous.

Wow. This this this one is important.

So I think it's been shicked by everyone in

the green spot.

The ice machine is very loud. I liked that it's a man physically chipping ice off of a block, but he was angrily complaining about being cold during the middle of the night. And that's pretty short. But, I guess, our

what a compliment.

Oh, say, I remember chiming in on that. So that was unanimous. What a compliment? It was unanimous. Yeah.

Yeah. There we hired a man with a fever to come in and make ice for us. We wanted it to be kind of You know, I I dabble in steampunk. I'm wearing a hat with a little five horse rigs and stratton on it right now. That's right.

Yeah. It's got a real

it's got a model t's now. Two stroke? It is. If an oil in the gas, skip.

Skip, he's telling me that you've

never been behind a bonus. That's true.

I am it.

Have not

you cannot just put it in a reservoir and it suck itself. It's a it's an annoying engine.

But yeah. Perfect for your

hat. Perfect for Well, it makes the smoke you want from a hat. And my voice is changing.

Drop on. I think that I I feel like for the first few episodes, you were doing your trained radio voice. And this is the guy right

here.

I'm glad we found him. We found him.

And this one was sure be easy to withstand.

What's the furthest season?

The more money you've been making, the more you've been allowed to be yourself.

Absolutely. You know, when you're not competent in yourself, you're trying on some new personalities. But once you get money, you can be yourself and be terrible. That's right. You know, as long as you have the bank account.

Good. Good.

Good. But yeah. So I think we'll go back to just a regularized sheen with a button. But I I I

yeah. We had that one.

I think I I I really like the effort. You know, I like the idea. There's something rustic, there's something rough, And I said, let's go one more week. Now that the ice man's fever broke, he might not be too cold and maybe half the complaint will go away.

That's right.

Is is the cold really from the ice, or is it because we know he's really sick?

That's right. Right. I mean, like because I walked by the other day, of course, he's in all gray sweats, sweating out the pits and the cry, But I think he sweated it out now, and he's okay.

I'll say I think it might be good for us to renegotiate his contract because he is, of course, the guy who played Ice Man from top gun.

Right. Yeah.

Yeah. It's about Kilomer.

We paid them a pretty oh, yeah. It's about Kilomer. We've paid them a lot.

Well, I will I don't think we're gonna have to pay him that much longer. So I think we're I think it's a good deal.

Yeah. The ice man, you know, we we give him his deathbed up in his room and he goes back

and forth.

Next review, and this is a cold read. I we don't read these before. No. No. And so see. Pros, slept like a baby. Nice to get away at an affordable price.

Good.

Cons. I think all of the power sockets in the room are European and require a special adapter.

Yes. Well, that was quick and to the point.

Yeah. Also true.

Yes. We're running European power through the rooms. So

yeah. All those all the outlet smoke cigarettes

all the outlet smoke cigarettes come with a glass of red wine and do not work with any of your appliances. But The cool thing is there's six positive. Yeah. Absolutely.

They're sex positive, and also if they have any any sort of issues, they can get it fixed for free.

Yeah. They've got All our outlets do have universal health care. Mine has a gorgeous speedo that it wears around, but it is a little too forward with my wife.

I would say the great thing about these about these electrical sockets is you don't have to do a lot of upkeep. They're good with just a little bit of cheese and a bad and they can go all

but Right.

Not circumcised. And and also, we have we have been we buried the lead a little bit. This is European power, but it's specifically French power. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You see, specifically,

fringes, I think, what we're pulling from here.

Yeah. It's printed. Do a couple of minutes.

Socketets in your guys' rooms still wear their little berets.

Oh, yeah. Mine does when

it's going out. Unfortunately, mine does take a nap from two to five PM, so there's

no Oh, Banya.

Maybe Spanish.

But it seems generally happier with quality of life. So go go go go.

That's right. Right. It's my

outlet works to live instead of lives to work.

And I think it's beautiful. Just another one of those nice touches at subtle shores. Yeah. Sure it doesn't work. No. But it's nice.

It's also also every outlet in the entire the entire place, except for the one in room seventeen, works together. There are a bit of a an electricity union, an EU. Yeah. But there was a bit of a Brexit situation where right?

Yeah. Big fat blonde outlet.

Our blonde Excuse me. I'll finish it.

Our big blonde outlet that walks right through a wind tunnel just before and buttoned its shirt one button off, ended up exiting from the other outlets.

Yeah. So we

do have a little a couple rooms that are on their own sort of power supply.

Yeah. Champs Elyse.

That's right. That's one of them. I've been meaning to get out to one of our outlets for a few years in a row now. I think next summer, I'm fine. Gonna gotta wanna promise.

Take home every time.

Thank you. Speaking of outlets, the outlet. We've got our little kind of outlet gift shop

--

mhmm.

--

which I I think has been selling really well. So it's like driving out to the outlets, a gap outlet, a Levi's outlet, but it's a gift shop outlet. So it's all the surplus from other gift shops.

Yeah. And and not all from subtle shorts. Obviously, you can get surplus surplus gift materials from we've we've some stuff from the hard rock, some stuff from Planet Hollywood.

Four seasons?

Four seasons.

We've got yeah. Four seasons garden. Yeah. And long. Mhmm. Yeah. We've got we've got what do we have, Schwartz and Aegor's jacket, which is really cool.

A couple of sorts of niggers. Donkeys are there.

Two of his donkeys. Bruce Willis's donkeys are there.

And one of the big things that's really cool is we got one of his stokies.

Yes. Yeah. Yes. One of his

one side is chomped on and just soggy his hell. Soaking one. And it looks kind of it kinda looks like I'll say it, a a turd.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It looks like a turd.

Yeah. You smell like we go there.

Yeah. We have all the rejected driver's licenses, if you wanna get a friend of yours with misspelled name. Yeah. So, like, if your friend My Hall wants the driver's license to his name on it.

We've also got all of the bounced checks from the hard rock in Myrtle Beach.

Right.

So every every bounced check that they sort of put up on the wall, you can buy those here.

Yeah. Let's not forget all the old gum that was never bought at other gift shops, we have tons and tons of old gums.

Juice fruit, wriggly, double mint, zebra. We took the tattoos out of the zebra, but

and I just actually I partnered with a local dentist to help people get nicer teeth, but they're also to remind you of your stay here and we're giving out souvenirs, which are you're really interesting.

You know?

Yes. The souvenir the souvenir the souvenirs.

Souvenirs. A lot of them say, like, I love NYC on them. They're just kind of different souvenirs. And

i Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe you're being taken to court for this.

I am. Oh, Drop. I'm getting a skew. The foreheads coming way back.

You're being sued for the souvenirs.

I am being sued. Yeah. Because we put a snow globe from Porta Viarte in Man's mouth. That broke pretty quickly, snoke it out.

Snug it out, mouth bleeding, of course.

Mouth bleeding, of course. So yeah. I'm being taken to court,

but So you're being sued from a broken veneer from a souvenir? Yeah. It's a souvenir law souvenir?

Yes. It's a souvenir souvenir souvenir.

Well, hopefully it's just a veneer of a lawsuit. I hope that thing is not fully robust.

Oh, yes. The inside, the root of the tooth is very legal. If that makes sense.

Well, and then guy gave you is not the lawsuit's bad enough, but the judge gave you a souvenirful.

He gave he gave me a souvenirful that was it was It was deafening. But

then yeah. Drop cloth here's what I gotta say is the big sell of this business. All four of us are putting a little bit of ourselves into it.

Yes, sir.

Dropcost helped with the souvenirs. He had his own and needed to he said, look, I love these. Let me get them there. Yeah. I'm obviously doing my cruise. No song there.

Sometimes you'll have the need to croon, but no content to back it up.

And I get that.

Ice man. I've got the need, the need to croon into the danger zone. Danger zone. And that's from my theme song Metalie. I do the goonies. I do karate kid. All the stuff the new found glory did on there.

Sorry. It's contagious.

It's contagious. It's contagious.

Grintangous. So now, you Duane, you've been brought down to one show a night, but it is selling out.

I think I

well, he sold out. He has sold out.

I fought tooth and nail. You had to drag me kicking and screaming out of my ten shows a day. I said, this is what the people want as an option to go to a show whenever they want. He said, Let's put everything into one show. Your your croonsmiths songs, the croon at noon, the six thirty croon per second, let's just do it in one show and I said, we'll do it for a week and see if it works, and I sold out. Wow. Period. Wow. Period. Sorry.

Wow. So did you did somebody pay you? Is it like a classic sell out?

Yeah. I basically went against all my morals and ideals right away for money. So I said, you know, I said I would never get political. And obviously the first twenty five minutes of my act is my Huckabee jokes that I read off of Twitter and I kinda croon them off.

It's iHeart Hockaby.

It's iHeart Hockaby. Yeah. Which people are loving, and it yes. I know what you're thinking. And, yes, I do get into it with Lily Tomlin about twenty minutes into

and I'll tell you why that's a vicious fight every time.

She's gonna stop picking up the FaceTime if she doesn't wanna get screamed at by me.

But I will say your screams beautiful. Because they are on key and they are in music.

Yeah. I scream. I scream. I say, look, let's just do one more fucking take.

And it's gorgeous. Everybody loves it. Everybody loves your all day crew.

Thank you. And so, yeah, the crowds have been sparse. But they are practicing social distancing which is nice.

Good.

I don't know. Is it COVID in this?

Yeah.

I think the big thing is, we have done so much of the soft open. We have gotten some wonderful feedback from our first guests, and we really are dialed in to where we're at and where we need to be.

That's right. And where where would you say we need to be? What do you think are some fixes around the corner for us or improvements.

For me, first up, and I'll take this on the channel as my responsibility. We need to flip the casino right side We need to drain the water out of the main room.

I'd say also, let's drop an anchor or two to keep it from flipping again.

That's a great idea.

No. This is how this is how it works as you bounce off each other, it's electric.

Yes.

And I have an anchor.

Great.

I think we might need a couple Okay. And then make sure we have enough chain and or rope to get to the bottom of the -- Great.

--

the ocean underneath it, because if if you don't and it's just a little bit of rope with an anchor on the end, it'll flip it right over again.

Just a heavy enough attached enough

let's keep brainstorming on this anchor. I'm loving the electricity of this. So enough rope, full anchor.

Yeah.

Get an anchor in the first place.

Once the anchor's in there and we're locked down, we drain the water out of the thing.

Drain the water out of the thing.

Right? That's important. Yeah.

Burn it

off. Yeah. I like that.

You gun the you

gun the engine so that it heats up in there and evaporates?

That's right.

Maybe close the chum box. What do we think? Sure.

We've had a big shark problem. We've had a big shark problem since the casino has been tipped upside down and we have sort of pivoted to an Atlanta sort of theme, you know, makes sense. Awesome. But the sharks have been really chummed.

Yeah. I think I think we should just make sure maybe Make sure the chum box is easy to open if needed. But make sure that if the casino ever is to flip again, which you you just gotta prepare for everything. It should be a locking mechanism so that it doesn't just flop open and all the chum gets

why don't they make the whole boat out of the chum box?

Well, hey, that that is a great joke structure, unfortunately, just doesn't make any sense here. It's a great joke structure.

That's alright. Yeah. I over Were

you hanging

i was sitting with Paul.

Yeah. I thought so. I thought you sort of celebrity types were hanging last week.

Yeah. Well, it was me, Seinfeld, Leno, or I'm sorry, Paul. AJ.

Shwimbo.

Shwimbo.

And so Leno goes by AJ. Yeah.

You guys buy AJ Uber. I don't know. I think I thought Limmo when I thought Leno there. But, yeah, it's me, Paul, AJ, Schwimow. Wait. Who's

schwimow? It's Shwimmer. It's not Shwimmer, is it?

Yeah. Shwimmer out. Shwimmer's here and just a Shwimmer bar. Yeah.

Yeah. But I was just, oh, okay. It's not really much of a nickname.

Come on, Shimi. We just started calling him that when we were out on the town. We were going out.

Yeah. We were we were partying. I I've gotta say, I spent some of the seventy billion and I've been partying a little too hard.

Yes.

And I

need to admit that to myself. I

think Yeah.

Dwayne and I went out. I was I actually, you let me play in your band.

Yeah. That's been a great addition to the shows is we're not We're no longer Look, I had some issues with the pre the tapes that I was trying to sing along to.

Yes. We were we

were hyping a man. To sing to track, and it was just you'd get off, and then you'd You need somebody that can work with you when you forget the lyrics.

Did you want drop cloth for as beautiful voice? Is that what it is?

Well, I I I don't I you know how people play a trumpet, and they have the

little thing on the end.

I play a plunger, and I have a trumpet on the

end. Smart. Because Chuck thought, you know, he's a man of the toilet. You know? Yeah.

Because I saw people, I was like, whoa. They're playing a trumpet, and they got this little plunger on the end of it. You know? And I was like Yeah. Turn that shit around. Well, you're wasting that plunger. Yeah. I hear you. So I got on there, and I And how

does that sound more of a Yeah. It's Wow. That really adds

to the show. Have you ever seen people play?

Falling on my head.

Yeah. Because I saw somebody playing the saw once. You know, with a bow and I was like, wow.

And in rehearsals, we're testing a lot of different like handyman in estimates, I would say.

Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

The trumpet plungers, the only one that's really worked.

Yeah. That one works. We were trying to play a a garbage machine that packs down garbage.

Compactor. I played a compactor. That's a big piece of equipment to bring out

on stage.

That must've that's harder than moving a piano. Yeah.

I coulda sworn the other day. I thought I heard somebody play in a toilet's name.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

It kinda has that sound of, like, when a you see, like, a a wire that's, like, hanging, like, holding something and you hit it, and it's that kind of like Wow. Hell well.

It's similar to the base. Yeah. It's a base.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

Now that was a wonderful croon of a song that I thought would be impossible to croon.

They said you can't croon down with the sickness, and I said, watch me, baby. Get up Come on get down with the sickness.

Right. That's actually wonderful.

Yeah. That's from my croon for metal heads, which is a big one. Yes. I put on the I put on the crazy scary slip knot mask, I get my bat out which is again drop cloth is good for that, hitting the drums with the bats like this Snipknot

--

yeah. Just like a Snipknot video.

Sorry. I am still a little hungover or drunk on blood. But that's The shows have been great. You guys are watching the door, which is nice because when there's a big bouncer out front, I feel like it makes you think there's something special going on behind the door.

Yeah.

Yep. Strowing

that out there. We don't have to do anything with it.

We've been creating a line to make it seem like there's more going on inside.

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think I think the biggest issue is population at this point. To make something seem as exciting and

--

mhmm. -- you know, attractive as we need to. We need we need more bodies. So the last -- Yep.

--

the last week or so of trying to sort of imply that there's something going on with so few bodies has been kinda difficult.

Yeah. We reached I had some connection to central casting, and we got some background there. And I think they confused our casting call. Because it did not look like a lot of people trying to see a crooning show. No. It looked like maybe the casting call for like a like a Chicago Hope style show or something at a hospital. Yeah.

A lot of people in scrub

--

yes. -- a lot

of people

i don't know why you would think that the right move is to where scrubs to fit in at a concert.

Yeah. Yeah. And the scrubs the scrubs sort of pique my interest, but then I looked a little bit closer. And I saw sort of people miming, like, stuffy noses, runny noses. People are sort of puffy eyes. Like groups of like, families, Yeah. Like, families, like, sort of, like, huddled with each other crying about some sort of tragedy -- Yeah.

--

commitment. I think because of the bad ground actors, enough people saw the line that people started thinking my concerts were a hospital and urgent care, and so they started bringing people to the line to line up for it. And we started seeing, I guess, client or patient in there. Yeah.

It wasn't and and it it turned into more of a tree eye. Your show. We were helping people in a makeshift hospital.

We obviously needed after the big boat tip, the chummy waters. Yeah.

And it's good prep for the big hurricane that we do plan on coming.

Yes. And I love your song. Time of death reads six zero eight PM. That's right. It was beautiful.

Start calling the family.

They're leaving today.

We accidentally killed your dad in Old New York. You

will never not let a song be big apple themed.

No. That's the the the city of croon.

And I wonder if that's the person Your review, Saul Die, his son, Saul, die.

You know, it could have been greedy Gary. Hit us back let us know who you saw die when the casino flipped

and hit.

You wanna come back. We do have a voucher for you, my man.

Thank you, Greeti Gary, for the great review, five out of ten, wrote a review through his divorce and his kids leaving him. We really appreciate you loving the apps. And next time around -- Hey.

--

single man, Come to the singles mixer. Those have been fun when you guys

think It's

been very fun.

The singles mixers got obviously, I I haven't been able to to partake it all in the singles mixers. But Will you

set them up?

I do set them up by check people in.

Your wife showed.

Yeah. Unless you're said the singles mixer is very interesting because it is a lot of people who arrived at subtle shores as couples and attend the singles mixers as singles.

Right.

We are having a lot something's happening. I don't know if the resort's creating it or this type of people come to the resort, but a lot of breaking relations ships are coming

well, how far we've been advertising on a lot of real man sites. So I think men are bringing their families here. We're advertising of course on horsepower TV.

Speed TV. Speed TV.

Speed TV.

Spike? Yep. Spike came back just for us to have advertise on it.

We've been advertising on the penis network. We've been advertising on the penis network anymore.

Which which a lot of people or say, why why would you advertise on a pay a pay a pay pornography with that? Peter's dad work

is awesome. It's one of my favorite shows up there every Sunday night from seven PM to eleven.

It's got

the best shows. Oh my god.

Hey, it's not it's not TV.

You know?

Peenas now.

Yeah. There's obviously I'm I'm curious to see what what they're gonna do with Tony subpoenas at the end of the season.

Well, I got a pretty good idea. They're gonna fuck him.

Most of season finales are big fucks.

Game of bones. I'm really excited to see the end of the year.

Very exciting. Peter's coming. I heard I

heard hung again.

Hung again. Hung again.

Just the show hung. Yeah. Is there?

Of course. Welcome back. I mean, I love that. I honestly love that show, brought the black keys to the front for me.

Yes.

I also really love real penis.

Real penis. Real penis. Like, really good.

It's real sad.

I don't

know how

they figure out the shows for that network, man. They are genius.

Yeah. How to make Love in America?

Curve your penis.

Also Curves your penis.

Your penis.

Real penis with Bill Mar.

Real penis with real money.

Real penis with real money.

Which is great that the guy the guy that looks like a penis to come in and do the show.

And I love that they just do his first show and then roll right into the second report.

Yeah. Also, Rose,

zip it up.

Also, really love my penis last week with John Oliver.

That's good. Yeah. Really good. That's I like the longer form penis reviews. Everything else is It's

just a little more hard hitting than his news show. Yeah.

Yes. Exactly. But, you know, folks, don't don't be scared to come here with your significant other, all that all this

is sick. Don't be

scared. Don't be

scared.

I think a lot of it is, if you came here, with your significant other, and you broke up here. I'll say this. That's on you and your relationship, not on the refrain.

We're not owning that.

No. That's true.

You're obviously in a tough place,

and you

came here And time alone time alone with your significant other is it's tough. It's always tough to spend a lot of

oh, you got blondies.

Any of this one? Bondies. I mean, white brownie.

This is a white brownie. And once I bit into it, I was like, this is I don't know what the difference is. Probably the bleach, but this is not a blondie. This is a white brownie.

Well, it's really slush.

And it does use bleached flour, but I think they go a a little a little further with the bleached Yeah.

We put the speech tips, I think, on the spot. Pooka spells?

Dan I would say the puke shows out a great texture.

I love these oakleys.

It's delicious. It's delicious and interesting. It's like when you go to fine dining restaurant. And you go, do I like this?

Yeah.

Well, it's definitely new.

Yeah. I don't know whether to eat this brownie or let it bully me.

Yeah. Let it bully me. Well, folks, I I just gotta say, I know you can tell by just listening to it, subtle shores is up, raring to go. We're ready. We know what's wrong, and I swear to God, we're about to fix it. I swear to God.

And I'll tell you this.

We swear to God.

We swear to God. I swear to God. The hotel

will be

good in one week. Yes.

And

not only do we swear to God, but we've been praying to God that'll be good in this week. I've been saying my prayer

yeah. Oh, yes. We're riding to God.

Every night I get right on my knees next to my bed, and I spray right into the bed with

my hands front. We scream in between the mattresses' prayers. And you guys remember the new new testament from a couple of weeks ago? Yes.

We yeah. We we pray well, we use the new new testament And it it was nice. I think that we all come from the same religious background. I'm not Jewish, that you get on your hands and knees. You clasp your hands together. You put your elbows on the bed and you scream prayers right in between the mattress and the box spray.

That is the Christian way.

You put your lips right in between both of them?

And you're trying to get some spread You gotta spread it out a

little bit.

You gotta enunciate for because -- Yeah. -- we're more of the new new testament. God is hard of hearing.

Yes. So you gotta And I'm sure I'm sure for our listeners at home, you know all this stuff if you've done Sunday to Monday school. Yes, sir. Which is obviously a sudden

then you need to estimate school starts at ten PM on a Sunday and goes through ten AM with

the lights on. That's what they say.

Yeah. Lights are distracting. You need complete darkness. Yeah.

So you have to sit in the darkness and and think about the words of the Lord, which

shouldn't be the lights off for you.

That's Church, if I've ever heard.

Yeah. Yeah.

They're all church slogan.

Yeah. Yeah. Slight's off. God is hard of hearing. Yes.

His voice is the v o for that hotel.

Yeah. God's voice is what is that red roof in or motel six?

Hotel six,

i think. Mhmm.

But yeah. Folks, you know, I really do think you'll start seeing the the big advertising push on your TVs this week. If you were thinking about coming through, I really think you should come through this week as we of the grand opening

--

mhmm. -- of the the resort casino.

Bling. Bling. Skip.

Let's get we get on national TV here? Or is this

just on local TV networks?

We've we've unfortunately not been able to secure any national coverage, but

what's city? Other than news?

Other than news.

I was gonna say.

We're made the national news.

We made the national news. Also, we've dispatched a few of these pirates around around the country on their ships going to port cities and trying to get on local news, sort of standing outside, waving signs,

yeah. Well, that's a small battalion.

Yeah. Small battalion is We've put on their way. Circling the country. We've got a few people in New York, a few people in Fort Lauderdale, a few people in California.

You can see us on c span for our congressional hearing where we we are legally do have to appear for that. So we'll

luckily, we can do it via Zoom. Yeah.

Yes. We're still here.

There's potential that a a government court case Could could could close down the offshore casino temporarily. But I don't think that's what's gonna be Don't.

Please don't. Please

government this is for you.

Government or slogan before.

Government, this is for you. Please don't.

Don't shut us down.

Please don't. If you can do anything for us, please don't.

Well, we should probably unveil that today because if we have listeners that have been listening for four weeks, We have to let you guys know on our big rule request. When you're at Settle Shore, say you're there for a weekend, say you're there for a week, There's not a ton of rules. Mhmm. But please don't.

Yeah.

Please don't is the number one rule.

You

think you shouldn't do it. Please don't. Please don't.

Obviously, we're not gonna be the kind of resort that has any sort of overreach. You know? We're not gonna put a list of rules in your room says you can and can't do this or that. We're gonna rely on our customers to make their own good personal life choices Well,

and there wasn't a police or sheriff force that we could sign a deal with. They all said no.

Yeah. We've, of course, got passed on by local police, federal police,

which is crazy.

Those those

pigs will take money from anywhere. Yeah.

Those fucking pigs passed in the room, and we were like, are you serious? Are you

serious? You guys murder people for cash. That's the job.

You sick fucks?

Jeez. But, thankfully, we we have There's no cops here. No. There's no

no cops, baby. Every they they have a police line do not cross, go round subtle shores down to the beach so that other hotels don't listen

to them.

Does give the impression that this resort is a crime scene, but it is not it's actually the opposite of a crime scene. It's a place where cops can't go, so no crime can happen.

It's not scary here. It doesn't suck. Come on there.

What do you mean a scene? But not be no vaccine, drive scene here.

Well, and that's a promise. While you're here, there will be no crime scene.

Yeah.

There's no one to set it up?

No. Absolutely.

I will be doing I I do when I see someone sleeping or maybe dead, I do a chalk outline in their body that's a little art I do. I got into that because you need a hobby. And my hobby is finding sleeping people beat crime scenes and trying to talk around

them. Yes.

It it's artistic, you know. You take some liberties And

then you'll try to do hops rather than wake him up, step on him on accident?

Yeah. I'm not great at hopscotch. I have an inner ear missing. So

and that's that's kind of not to get too behind the music here, v h one, but that's kind of why you started crooning because of the high vibration.

Yeah. I'd like Beethoven. My I I can croonate another level. I'm I'm a synesthete like a -- Mhmm.

--

jimmy Hendrix. I can see croons You almost can't even hear

your own music. You can just feel it.

Not at all. Not at all.

And a big thing about when you sing is you are falling all over the place. You're so dizzy.

Yes. Yeah. As It's kinda like

you done the the forehead to the bat. We we yeah. I I which

which which is part of

your picture. Part of the show.

You gargle water, and then you throw the forehead down on the bat.

Do a little sentence there.

And then you try

to don't hit the forehead to the back.

And then you try to run across the stage and hit a ball off of a tee. Right?

And I and and I have to, you know, hold on. And you took off an old woman's jaw? I gotta be

honest, still. Got it.

I mean man.

You you didn't really the whole point is to keep the bat. Stationary. You're not just supposed to spit around and keep the bat on your forehead. The bat has to stay locusts on the ground.

Okay. Well, I'm learning locusts. They're gone. They're gone. We've gotten rid of six of the ten blanks.

I mean,

all of them. All of my knowledge. This is you. Congratulations to

the first borns out there.

And and I tell you what, it was tough to get those frogs out of the gutter.

Thank you for doing that drop problem.

So hard. No problem.

Yeah. We got some rivet complaints and some complaints from the rivets. The frog started complaining that's

yeah. Well, you've been doing wonders with that new recorder you've been playing.

Yes.