Welcome to the last resort, the only podcast where millionaire jetsetter eat, pray, lover, and a family of five can tune in. To find out about the goings on at the currently only ranked Gulf Coast Resort, Casinoino, well, and buffet, latta. Shuttle Shores. Latta. Suttle shores, resort, casino.

Skip. I told you you needed your script.

I

at least I told you you needed your script.

No. I said to you guys, a guy who can run a business like this ought to be able to say a paragraph without reading it. Okay? Well, yeah. This is me going out on a limb here. Okay? This is skip off script. Okay? That's what everybody's getting today, off skip.

And we've been asking for you to loosen up. We've been asking for you to just, you know, excel

it out a little bit. And you didn't go wrong until the very, very end when because we did add well buffet into the tight Yes. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And and so, look, I just want everybody to know. I'm I'm Scott Skip Powell, and this is offskipped. Please ignore the documentary crew around. As you guys know, I did hire a documentary crew to do a little Like, uh-uh, uh-uh, what's the the show about the boat the boat?

Incorporated truth.

No. No. You're talking about below deck.

Below deck. I'm doing a below deck style documentary reality series.

Can't convenient truth is about.

You know, the the the boat guys. It's about how we're gonna have more water for the boat guys.

Yeah. Al Gore.

Al Gore, the by captain.

So you you you missed a positive for boats.

It can be the truth. I left the theaters beaming because, you know, I have my own a lot of football players and celebrities have their own used car dealerships. Right. I and you know me, Dwayne Croonan Neumann the king of boats, sell boats in forty two cities in three provinces. And so I saw a convenient truth, and I said, I mean, I might as well have been a congressman who just heard about COVID. I invested big time until nobody.

Started buying every carcass of a bonita nineteen foot boat that we drove past.

Bonita nineteen foot boat, you gotta put me on.

On it. Well, I've been been Scott Skip. Tell us about the the below deck. Yeah. You've been a lot drama and your family.

So And and I'm doing this I'm doing this different than every other rally show. You know? I heard that reality shows are, like, they script, they do script them. They go they'll pull the talent aside and say, in this scene. Right. I want you to get mad at your husband for a burning dinner. And that's what you're that's what the whole

obviously pulling from my reality show, which was a cooking show with me and my wife. Ended up being a lot of beer burning dinner. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. P Kitchen.

That is what most

that's a show as well. RIP Kitchen.

Right. Kitchen. What most splits are about burning dinner.

Oh, yeah. And nothing else. Nothing deeper. So you're doing the opposite. You're not, like, producers tell you what it's what. No. No. No. No. No.

In in fact, what? We don't actually have producers on the show. It's

you are going very often skip with all of this stuff.

I'll skip. Yeah. And and so far, I'll say this. We've shot for how many days, seventy two hour We've so we've shot for three days and seventy two hours straight.

So you knew the hours, but not the day. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like one of those people who, like like, how old is your kid? Well, they're seventy six weeks.

Yeah. Well

like, I don't know what that means.

Well, I'm not paying by I'm not paying by the day. I'm paying by the hour. So these guys are filming everything

by sleep. But you get an hourly rate.

So you're paying you're paying overnight every and they're getting wet. Golden time, triple golden?

Well, yeah. So what I guess, sir eight hours it's eight hours it's regular time up to twelve. It's double up to sixteen. I think it's it's golden, which

i think If we green lit this as a way to bring in business for the for the place.

Yeah. And it will. And we green lit it.

Yeah. Yeah.

And and and it'll Should we talk about our new television network? Yes. Settled TV. I want my subtle TV.

Which demonstrates Don't call us anymore.

Yes. We did just get a cease and desist. Please do not call us. We will not be cease

and desist. Call us. They use the f word in every meeting with us, and we've had it with them. We've had it. But if

you wanna sue us, you need to be more respectful.

That's right. Well, we've got big brochure what's predicted us. So don't you worry dire straits. You'll be in dire straits. You get to stop these phone calls.

This would have been such a good thing to say in the meeting.

Yeah. I know. I've I definitely planned up a little bit.

Well, I I could see the wheels turning in the meeting, but then you didn't say anything. And then right as we went to lunch, you were fire them off. You'll be in dire shape.

I am bad in meetings. I'm pretty personable, but something happens in a meeting, and I you know, we all the pitches. Of course, you know, when you came in to pitch, off skipped, I clammed up. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

Crazy that that happens because, Dwayne, you are you're never one who's lost for words. And when we need you most, it seems, is when you clam up the When we need you to croon your way to a a a a sweet, sweet deal, it seems like that's when you lose it. It's when we when we need you.

And we were pitching this around and I apologize. I thought for the last couple maybe if I brought in a pianist to kind of vent me in. Excuse me. It would help. If I brought in a penis to Vantee Anne, maybe it would help.

Right. And that makes sense. You usually do perform a lot better if there's a penis just off stake.

One hundred percent, it makes me realize, hey, it's like imagining the audience in your underwear.

Yep. How can

i be that bad when there's a penis running? Yeah.

Exactly. So we pulled Sydney's dick out. We got

well, yes. You did pull Sydney's dick out. I I would have liked him an ass. But, you know, that's okay. I gotta do what we gotta do for you.

You gotta do what I saw him stumbling, and I was like, we need to get a dick in the room.

Yeah. And I yeah. I think I flipped it around after I saw that pearly white penis, but

that's right. I wash my penis like it's teeth. I I use toothpaste, and I brush it with a brush. And I'll tell you what, I have one of the cleanest penises down here.

Cleanest

penis. Cleanest penis. Which does

it say it's the cleanest penis in your classroom.

Well, that was your my burden. Right?

That was in my class. Queenest penis in class.

Yeah. Yeah. Or you're superlative.

Yes, superlative. Superlative. Now I will say

--

per.

--

i love all the new stuff that's going on. Obviously, the TV network is very exciting. I was a little disappointed that my pitch don't know why we have two things about boats and neither of them is for me. My show, a stepped in ship has has been turned down, which is, of course, a show all about me having follies on the boat. You know what I mean?

I'm tripping

and surfing.

The I saw the sizzle reel that you cut together, and it's very similar. If you go to YouTube, And you look, what's the fisherman

--

fisher bloopers?

--

fishing bloopers with the what's the guy's name?

What is his name? I should know. If you just look up fishing bloopers Yeah.

If you look up fishing bloopers on YouTube, Sydney's show seemed like a half hour version of just those a little compilation. Yes. A fun boat mishap.

In a way, yes, but in another way, it was like you were having those issues even off boat. You know, you were getting to your bathtub. And you accidentally

that snuffin ship in my bathroom?

You would back the truck too deep into your bathtub.

Well, you I was trying to get the rubber ducky out of there. And it kept slipping out of my hands. So I figured I'd put it on a

a hitch. Yep.

Yeah. One is you making a steak dinner and getting a fishing hook in your lip.

I'll tell you what, man. You really have to store your tackle well. Because if you store it like I do, like, the pans in your kitchen above everything, you walk right into the hook every day. I came home well, I was home. And someone else came home and saw me hanging up like a marlon.

Right.

It was embarrassing.

It was hard for me to see, honestly. Yeah. I was to somebody else in that story. Thank you.

I was so out of my mind at the time. I was in my fish brain.

Yeah. Yeah. But so I you know, at the end of the day, threw a little beer batter on you. I catch up. And it I mean, who's halfway through the through the cleaning that I was like, this is not a Marlin.

Who doesn't love a little fried Marlin by the way?

We That's all kinda crazy shit in your stomach, though.

I know. Well, when you're out on the sea, you just you eat what comes. You know, there was a piece of tire, an old boot, Yeah. Of course, a diaper.

Of course.

Of course, a diaper. You like a diaper.

Yeah. I was like, okay. Well, clearly you ate my Halloween costume.

Whole boot paper.

Pizza rubber. Yeah.

Yeah. You were going as the sea. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Just promoting the the boat shop inconvenience truce, inconvenient truth too, more the

more water.

More water?

Well, it's good that we have the TV network because I think it has been distracting us from some of our other problems, and that's what

you need.

Yeah. New things

to do.

Failing at one business quickly take on another

and I'll say this though. We can't call ourselves a failure anymore because as I said in the intro, We're the list is just us now. The last the latest issue of the the the rankings for resorts came out. We are the only resort on the list anymore. And a lot of people are saying there's some sort of impropriety going on. They're saying that we juice the ballot box

and I looked up in propriety. I still don't know what it means. Yeah.

Yeah. If you don't if we don't know what it means, then we can we can confidently say we don't think that there was any impropriety going on. Yes. Our account challengers did their job. They saw the account through to the end. And at the end of that result, we were number one and the only one. Wow. So San Luis A

lot of people are saying the votes were counted in Pennsylvania.

Lot of complaints about the TransUnion vote count.

We didn't ship the votes out.

One, two.

And some people are saying there's no way they got to the end of the count if they're counting that slow.

Yeah.

Right? I mean, if they're gonna count each one like Adracula, How can we

and I'll and I'll say this. If there's anybody out there

who

thinks they know how to count votes like this better than people whose sole job it is

--

yeah.

--

to count votes. Shut the fuck up.

Shut up.

A few

it's honestly I'm

so tired of people thinking that they are so smart -- Mhmm.

--

and they know how every process goes. Okay? Everybody out there, you're dumb as hell. We're all dumb as hell.

You don't stop pretending

like you're smart. You're not. Shut up.

You don't know why we went from one forty four to number one. Yeah. You don't have that answer. It's almost impossible to know, and that's the point

for us.

And you better clear out from the driveway of the resort. I am tired of driving in here every morning and seeing six thousand people standing out there with signs that say last that say, subtle shores.

Those aren't my fans?

No, they are. No. No.

I thought

that was a fair you guys up, and I said, we did it. We did it, boys. We're gonna be the best resort in the Kolph Coast, and I put my hair back. You saw it.

It was worse. There was video.

I for me, it was an emotional phone call to get. I was so

it was like it it was like in Three

kind of. Four.

Four. Four.

He hit that one. That's waste me so I'm fine.

Fine, man. Everybody five has reached the bottom of the charts across the country. Put it is on the charts. It's my newest croon. I'm hoping you it'll be big in May. It'll be that kind of thing where fifth month of the year, everyone plays fine.

People will make that connection. I think I always think about the months as what number they are.

Well, because the song kinda lays it out because it's like, Jen, you wear every February, March, April five.

Yes. And you watch really beautiful, I must say.

You've been booking your CD to five year old birthday party people. Right?

Oh, it works for all five.

And is that the most efficient delivery system?

Pocking it.

I I haven't found a better one. I've been enjoying Hocking is good. A lot of people are telling me to get on Amazon, get on Spotify, and I just don't understand these that I'm from a different era

--

right.

--

face to face. Yeah. So, you know, I'll show up to a birthday party dressed as the clown. I'll have to not kill the clown, but

that was a rumor. That was a rumor.

A big version which is has been helping you with your language.

I am so happy we've got big brituates on the scene. Obviously, Oscar the Gratiana.

I was gonna grab Gianni. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

I was crazy about that one. But yeah. He is who

he is.

But, yeah, let's all show up as the birthday clown, and then I'll start singing the song, you know, January, February, March, April five. And say, white. Hang on. Your five. You should ask your mommy and daddy for money to buy an album about the number you are and that, you know, it works.

Right. So it's kind of your Jimmy Fallon five sleeps till Christmas or or it's your it's your foray into the child market.

Absolutely. You know? We're I've been trying to get I I obviously got into the baby market when I was competing with Seinfeld for the least offensive album. And now I'm trying to get into I'm trying to keep going as they go older. I'm trying to be the cigarettes of crooning. Get them while they're young and keep them hooked.

That's a great business model.

Thank you very much. Six is less than five in the sense of not the truth.

I'm beginning I just I I gotta say, it's been so nice spending time with a real artist.

You know

what I mean? You always see the art. You see the finished product, but you're not there for the process. And I love the way you make up songs.

Thank you. Well, artists are more present than everybody else. You can tell I'm insanely present and so I'm present with myself and when a moment comes, I just have to crew and I'm all You guys have taken this on too, which I love. I'm carrying my notebook around, and I'll shut you up if I get an idea, and I'll just write it down -- Yes.

--

and say, I must write this idea I'll

say that.

I looked into your notebook. I have no idea how you remember those ideas with the the thoughts are incomplete and the handwriting is I'll I'll say the worst I've ever seen

in my day.

Yeah. Your notebook looks like the scratchings of a serial killer. One hundred percent. But but again, that process. Yeah. And

it's if it were for you? Who am I to who am I to tell you?

Who am I to do any research into

if Yeah. I took a page from your musings in, and I got a prescription with doxycycline. So it's That's right.

Oh, yeah. Well, because I do it on our Xpads, and I I have doctor's chicken scratch. So yeah, if it but but please bring that back because honestly, doctor cyclin colon take two twice a day with water. Is a hit I've been working on for a while.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have we introduced our

you guys have not. I don't think everybody knows it.

My name is Sydney Powell. I got the cleanest, pearly white penis in the game.

Yes, sir. Hi. My name is

what game?

The game. Everybody knows that we're all playing a game of who's got the cleanest penis. That's honestly why I spend so much time on the water. I need to be close to water at all times. To maintain my clean penis.

And by the way, cleanest penis is seven o'clock on subtle TV. Fantastic game show.

This is a show that I pitched that did get picked up. Yeah. Of course, you it's one of those game shows where everybody's nude behind

a screen. Make it attraction, the British show.

You look

it up.

Yeah. You do, but it's full nude on YouTube somehow.

But there's Isn't

that weird? Some YouTube videos just have fucking full nudity in them. Yes.

You expect a certain way. It's okay. It's educational. Yeah.

I think if you're British, you can show your butthole you

the actual the actual ruling is if it's an educational video of any kind, you can show anything.

Well, that's that would not have been the truth for me.

I would like to say my my career in pornography was educational. I agree. But it was all banned from YouTube.

They took it all off YouTube, and that's where it was solely posted.

I was boasting on YouTube

solo kids.

Your whole career.

Your whole career.

My whole career.

I would say that the things I learned are stuff not keep around the house while making love. Because a lot of your videos as you heard in yourself on different things that are That's

actually a genius. Maybe a repurpose of your original content.

That's the education con.

Title and and and tag them as education, I think. Okay. So More inconveniences. So don't

jerk off and walk through the living room if there are way slaying down on the ground. Definitely

not wet ricks.

Wet ricks.

Hello, everyone. It's Drowey, job call tongue. That's right. I threw the y. At the end of the first name, as we learned last week, you get the letters that you're afforded

you can legally change your name, but you have to use all the same letters so you already have it.

Exactly. So I threw the y on the end of Joey at thought it was just, you know, a little Droy, sorry, a little more approachable.

You're you're trying to be a little more refined. I've noticed ever since we've served we've been making a little dough, I would say. Yes.

She have been.

And we've also made some money. And I think since then, you have really been tried to become more of a man of of wealth? Would would you say that?

That's right. Yes. You know, I built I got a new house. I built out on some land right outside of the shore here. And, yeah, you know, I've obviously been wearing

did the surveyors Pass on that land? Did they say it's stable? Because weren't they looking at it and saying that it might sink or Well,

i think the surveyors were I heard this land is not and then I saw them kind of sink very far down. So I don't know what ended up happening with that.

Right. Right. So I I guess I'm just a little concerned. You built your brand new house on on what seemed like a swampy area.

Yes. Well, I you've heard of a fan boat. Of course. I want a fan house. So it's gonna be it's kind of an an all terrain vehicle. Awesome. But

a bit well, I mean, there's how and houseboats are a thing.

Houseboats are a fan house. Yeah. And I sleep I have to sleep with a fan on her. I was like, I can't go to sleep. So this is actually for me.

So you turn on the full

the full fan belt fan just to get a little white noise.

Well, yeah, I can't. I When I go to sleep, I got a lot of thoughts running around.

Where

did I put that hex bolt? You know, did I turn the welder off?

Right.

So I need a fan.

And is this what the new hairstyle is from? Yes. Is it standing straight up and back?

Yes. It it's it looks like one of those helmets that a speed skater wears, it goes down in the front and then comes up and back and goes back.

That's right.

And if you guys seen when I jump, I actually I can get a lot of air and I lean forward and I shoot down

a hill.

Uh-huh. But yeah. So I and I as you guys know, I think I told you this last week, I've been wearing all all saints and carrying around an old timey sewing machine with me. So I looked pretty cool. I got really tiny pointy boots on.

And how is that interfering or not interfering with all the work you

it's like

can you It's not interfering at all because I've I've hired a team. Yeah. I quit you know, like, when'd you start

you quit? Is that what you were saying?

Wait. I quit. No. No. No. I just I you learn how to work smart, not hard. Yes. So I've actually, you know, hired my friends So it's been a little easier on me.

And you pay them in kind. Right? You don't pay them money.

No. I pay them in kind. So I'm nice to them. I'm

and they roll around under cars and grease stains, and they get everything done for you.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I fixed cars here. There's a little garage now. But yeah. So I I I I do like this new lifestyle of kind of new money.

It's I mean, it's very and don't think this is an insult but Beverly Hillbillies. It is where is a little fish out of water and we've been trying to figure out a a TV show. You know, is this a documentary? Do we do a show based on you? We're in talk with Batman to play you. Yes. So I'm excited about that. Again, please subtle TV. This channel, what did we say? Two thousand forty five.

Two thousand forty five. Only available at Settle Shore. So come on down and check out our new content. It's really driving a lot of business we hope.

You know, when you go into a hotel room a lot of times, they have, like, the, like, sort of info channel

--

mhmm. -- on the TV, where it'll have, like, the the sort of a schedule for the day, activities, whatever like that.

I'm not understanding it. What is this?

So when you go to, like, a a resort hotel, they'll have a an itinerary that kinda you turn on the TV and immediately just see the itinerary for the day, like, there what like, it's

like a home screen

for TV.

I never I don't turn on the TV in the hotel because I'm usually in there making magic happen. Them. Oh. Obviously, I rent hotel rooms to use the restroom.

And that to you is magic.

It's well, yeah. You also might have TV's cribs.

Yes. It was a full toilet bowl. This is where the magic was. And that's diarrhea folks.

And you have more toilets than you do any other style room in your house?

Associates? Yes. I have the most toilets than any other

style. Has.

Yeah. In my class and so that's, you know And

it's not always bathrooms, but it is toilets.

No. Yeah. I mean, I've got the I've obviously got the the what's called Arizona room. Do you know that? That's my Arizona toilets.

Yeah. You know that when you go in Home Depot and you're looking to buy a toilet, and in the little photo that it's just a toilet in a living room.

Right? That

that is the majority

of the jets.

Yeah. That's that's not my four year. It's my toy yet toilay.

Well well, because because you gotta think you you there's always that phrase like home home What

are you doing in your house?

Yeah. You're in your house.

There's that place.

But, no, you know, home is where the heart is or whatever, for you, a a like, a bathroom is where the toilet is. So any room can be a bathroom. And

yeah. I've got those.

That's a beautiful center. The bathroom is where the toilet is.

Yes.

And I have that up in the house. Those like Airbnb style.

Can you as home is where the bathroom is.

You have an eat, pray, shit? Or

well, you no. That's my that's right to do list.

Right. Right. Live live, laugh, shit. That's apologies.

Yes. Also my to do list.

Yes.

You you have to put live on your to do

you just have to remember the things in life, you know. Well, I I must remember

wayne leaning in being sensitive.

You gotta get a piece of paper or a notepad. You can't just write your to do list all over your walls in calligraphy. Right?

Yeah. You've got a notepad. Just put your to do list in your notepad.

But then my to do list I mean, you all remember my son grocery store, my to do list accidentally becomes a song.

Where are we remembering? It was a it was a a huge moment for you.

Grocery store. I sing it sometimes. That was a beautiful song.

You used to book gigs in the meat department.

That's right. I became a and I would sing that you know, meat songs and then I had issues because butchers do not like me. I don't know what it is, butchers don't like me. Period.

Yeah. They tried to shave you down into a quarter pound one time. Right?

Try to. I mean, we know from best episodes of through plastic surgery. I do have clove and hooves and

yeah. Well, someone tried

to serve you as Big's feet.

That's right. I I got served up.

Catble is a five month.

You wanted it, and we got it in the first half.

But so if you stickers want more of that, that's subtle TV, travel two thousand fifty five, only at subtle shores, and we are getting a deal for the trunk of taxi cabs. So for those rides that should be

exciting? Because, you know, when you're getting into a taxi and you put your luggage in the back, you want a little quick glimpse of

some entertainment.

Yes. So but I I think the one of the big we we are the trainers left the station. We're open. Yeah. We've had the grand opening. Yeah. And I am very as the celebrity face of subtle shores, off shore, no buffet, No. So resort resort and well buffet and offshore casino and underwater -- Right.

--

cemetery. Cemetery. Yes.

As the face of it, I I'm I'm kinda proud that I'm the face of an up and running business like this, you know. I'm proud of all the hard work we've put into it.

Yeah. And, you know, with with as with any business, you know, the first couple weeks of operation, you're gonna hit some hiccups. I, of course, finally got rid of mine, which is fantastic.

That's really nice.

We we were trying to scare you all week to get into your hiccups.

I know. It was honestly made for great TV on off script. We're gonna have a whole month long arc

you've heard of Shark Week? We've got Pickup month.

Pickup month.

I will say, it's not quite as electric as shark week. Well There's not as many different Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. The the last couple years on Shark Week, they've been bringing in celebrities. Had Mike Tyson, fight a shark. They had Michael Phelps.

Fight a shark.

Fight a shark. So we're doing the same thing with hiccup Month. Every single episode during hiccup month, a different celebrity which we can book.

Danny Davito's coming in to punch you in the stomach.

Davito's coming well, every celebrity gets to try whatever they'd like to get rid of my hiccups. Davido's gonna try to punch me in the stomach to get rid of my hiccups.

Resune type.

Gazune type.

Thank you. I'm so sorry.

We've also got Steve Irwin, the the the the -- Yes.

--

heroine's gonna bring in scary animals. We got Steve Erkel.

He's actually a white. He's dressing up his Earth phone coming back.

Erkels coming in, and he is going to pop a paper bag behind you when you don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm very excited for that. We've also got who else is coming in? We've got

janning Tatum. I think got a little confused because he is tying your tooth to a string and slamming a door.

Right. Right? Which I think that's he got confused because my Dennis lunatic had a loose tooth, and we were gonna do we were gonna do that as a storyline. Jenny Tatum comes in and pulls my son's tooth. That was gonna be Yes.

Oh, the wires get

which anyone can do, it's on his it's on his cameo. Tainer's cameo is he'll he'll come and he'll do a He'll

do anything.

You'll do anything. Yeah.

Yeah. The original potato rubbed some Vicks vapor rub on my chest a couple weeks ago. It was very nice.

How much does that run you? Can I ask?

Twenty five. Not bad at all.

Twenty five dollars for chain ten to what rub some Vicks and is it what what do you do in conversation or is it full business? With Channing.

I mean, he'll he'll say, like, what's up? How are you? But he's not giving you, like He's

not giving you the mommy treatment.

No. I mean, my the he he had a couple details about my life. He was like, I hope this gets better for you at the hotel tomorrow. But it was very, you know And I I find

with those where it's like, oh, I maybe only needed thirty seconds of this. I don't need two minutes and fifteen seconds you

i usually find that I'm immediately turned off when I see a cameo. I'm like, oh, cool. Sugar ray. And then I go throw up. Pretty quickly after. It makes me sad.

Right. What's so we you know, there was when you had eaten some poison, we showed you about forty cameos in a row, try to get it out of your system, and that's what the health department told us to do.

That's right. That's their official stance.

Up Department guidelines. If someone ingests anything poisonous,

camIO has become a become a tool for the CDC. Yeah.

You just show somebody fading fame and they'll fucking

they'll route and say, God, the world is not what I thought it was. Yes.

But speaking of cameos, You can obviously get me to croon you a happy birthday for seven thousand dollars if you'd like to do that. And I I

still think your price is a little high. I think you go lower, you'll get more bytes if you know what I mean.

Yeah, but would I rather do what? Three hundred of those videos and make seven thousand? Or one and make seven thousand. Well,

so far, you've done none. Right?

I've done negative three. I've had to pay a few people because I sub seven So

you're down twenty one grand. For unwanted cameos.

That's yes. I've said a few unwanted cameos. Was obviously my album based off of some things my agent tried to book me in movies. I wanted cameos and but I I I I do wanna go back and just say I very proud of us here. I mean, Scott Skip, I think you would you say you've managed to balance work with your your personal life?

I would say I have. I think I think I would say I haven't really pulled the audience or anything, but I feel like I've this past week, I think I finally got a handle on it. And I think what it was, is a a full time project. A full time project outside of the business, something that I can get my family involved in because, obviously, I'm not the only character in off skip. Dennis lunatic is also involved. My wife is also involved.

And this is your second full time project because you're currently running a resort that's in the middle of an up Right?

Right. Right. But that is sort of background noise for me at this point. That well, you guys make it I've realized, here's what I realized. It's gonna go on. The the resort is in perpetual motion. If we're if we are if we're fixing the problems that arise, I don't have to spend every waking moment thinking about the resort. I think that's the thing that I realized is that I was thinking so much about the resort that I was actually getting in the way of the resort working at its best.

I feel the same. I think we were all maybe so worried about the success or failure that we were micromanaging. Exactly. I had to be on every ferry out to the casino. Now I just let five or six people on a boat, toss the keys in and say,

how about it?

Well, you made that nice laminated instruction sheet that you hung in the in the in the cockpit.

What's mostly laminated?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the front side is.

Yeah. The front's laminated.

Front side's laminated. So people have the instructions on how to get there. They know how to turn the boat on, how to steer the boat. You realize that people are very self sufficient. And when they come here, we're giving them a a more rustic experience. You're not you're not coming to a resort and getting

--

rust doted. -- rusted. You know, well, yeah. Yeah. You're not gonna get doted on every every minute of the day. You're gonna come here, and you're gonna live.

You know, you go to these other resorts, and it's all inclusive. But what they don't tell you is that it's all in your face. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We have sort of a buffet, and you're allowed to get whatever foods you want But there's nobody at the carving station. There's nobody at the chocolate fountain bothering you.

Well

you pick up the knife, you cut your own name.

As you've said, yeah, we get Technically, our buffet all we think you can eat. So folks, you know how much you can eat. Cut off how much you can eat. I don't wanna dictate how much

get yourself as much

we give you?

Yes. As much ham asterisk as you want, as much chocolate kind of as you want. We've got it all there, and it's four you, the eggs, we think, are pretty popular. So

and then we got a great deal with the buffet because we couldn't necessarily afford a full buffet the whole time. So that's why we went to well buffet. And what we do is we use a Golden Corral's buffet on their off eye. Hours.

That's right.

So we'll get it early AM to about eleven, it'll stop until about three PM, and it'll go to about five, and then it'll stop. And then it'll come back around ten PM and go through the night.

And you're instrumental in that because you hitch up the grand the golden corral and bring it over

during shifts.

Yes. Oh, you're fan home. I'm back some fan home up to it, and I get the Golden Corral vote. I mean, the Golden Corral buffet, and I bring it on over. And they're cool with it because they're renting to renting it to us for pennies when they don't need it.

Penies above the dollar.

And we were we've just realized, I think, since we've been open, what we actually have to do to keep this place open, you know? And I think we're doing a great job. You know? We'll probably I don't know. We'll probably read some reviews here of of for this week.

I think our new strategy of just unlock the doors and let it roll. Is working.

Yeah. Human beings want control of their own experience.

Too much regulation.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You are preaching to the Liberals celebrity choir here. I fully agree with you. Let people do what they want. Obviously, you know, on on the floor that I stay on to select with all Liberty suites. It's a little different. Yeah. But, you know, you still get your own experience, which I love.

And you guys are on the top floor of the resort with a beautiful you.

Yeah. The celebrity suite's top floor, beautiful view. I I If you are a celebrity or wanna be treated like a celebrity for a week, I highly recommend the celebrity suites. Totally. We've got we haven't been able to get Axel Rose to leave, so he's up there. Who else do we have in

this place? Well, we have Axle tulip. Axle tulip is also here.

Axle tulip is there. Axle flower bed.

Yes. We have

carrot bottoms there.

Well, actual tulip, carrot bottom, bucket feet.

Bucket feet is there.

There's a lot of musicians who have come down here to just relax.

Yes. I I slash has been jamming with scrape.

Yeah. That's right.

Yeah.

Yes. MC screwdrivers here?

Yes. He is. He's here with his can't spin this,

of course, his little dog hit. About not being able to use a screw even though he's MC's concern.

Well, this you got Scrip. Scrip? Yeah. We've heard the song.

Chocolate ice. Chocolate ice is here.

Fuck for ice.

Chocolate ice, which tastes so good. Aw. Thank you've had chocolate of milk over ice. That's partially. It's a great restaurant. It's a local restaurant. I think it's only in George.

Nothing like milk over ice. When that ice melts, milk gets, like, it has two different consistencies in

it. I do want a Joey Joey job cloth hung here, and I wanna give a quick shout out to the varsity. In Atlanta, Georgia, they serve terrible chili dogs and chocolate milk over ice. If you wanna feel terrible for a week, Drop on by the Varcities. Sorry, guys. I had to do a very local

oh, I love it.

You got paid for that. Right?

Yes. I'm getting paid. I'm getting paid. I'm I am gonna be doing just little hyper specific ads every now and then

i love that. Yes. Spread it out. Get your face out there. Drowey drop club punk. Mhmm. I think that that's the you you know, that's the way to Each of our individual success makes the resort better.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

We're we're obviously hoping for some sort of success for you, Sydney?

Thank you very much. You're welcome. I didn't know we were all thinking about it like that.

Well, not just friends. As friends, I think we could all say this really kind thing. We're really praying something good happens

for you.

Well, any type of of actual support would be nice rather than just a judgment of status. You know what I mean? If you guys wanna show up to the dock and actually help me on anything or if you wanna green light any of my shows, feels like mostly I pitch shows and then you guys steal them.

I mean, there was obviously What

were we even talking about? That beautiful croon took me away.

I don't remember.

We should say tune in at twelve thirty on subtle TV. My new show, Skip's brother, which was an original idea of mine. Featuring me.

Yeah. Unfortunately, we had to recast the role. I guess, the execs were saying it wasn't believable. So

yes. Well, Oreega saw the first episode and just said, the first pilot episode we shot, and he said, well, this isn't gonna work.

I think it was just too much charisma. They didn't believe that Skip's brother could have so much charisma, so they went with some old over the hill crooner. Something is what I heard.

Okay. Well, this is a little I I feel like there's a little bit of and I'm trying to therapeutically get out what's happening here. There's a little bit of subtext. Are you jealous of me for stealing your part in this TV show?

I don't know that I'm jealous as much as I am rightfully upset. Yeah. But, hang on. I got my own I'm I'm hanging out with the pirates now. I don't need any of my original friends. I'm I ain't got what you So I don't share a language with, and they used to try to

kill me. I'm fine, man.

I'm fine. We go we go out we're out there, man. I don't need I'm not not I I don't even live in America anymore than mine. And I'm in international waters upstairs,

mister I actually just got an email and I'm testing for a role on our new show, a month in Sydney, where I play a man named Sydney Powell who's living in Australia

that's a tough one for me.

It's a

tough one for me. I I lived in Australia for a month, filmed the whole thing,

edited it,

sent it back, honestly, got great reviews when I uploaded it to Yelp.

Yeah. And yet I

will say a few people said too dry.

Well, yeah. They said too dry. A couple of people said under baked. Just said, you know, a couple of people said they couldn't get the refill fast enough on the show. But other than that, it was a pretty good review.

Few people said they had to wait forty five minutes and they had a reservation for the show.

You know, maybe I uploaded signers. I don't know. But but the reviews seem to understand it and not like

it. Well, I I think that I I I think that you should come back to your friends. I'm honestly worried with you and these pirates.

Why?

Why? Well, I I'll tell you why. I I've tried to introduce you to my new fling and you tried to make her walk point. I think that you you've just been a little negatively influenced.

Well, yeah. I thought she was encroaching on my friendship.

Right. But I We don't make people walk the plank on the mainland.

Okay. Okay. I yeah. I understand that. Talking the plank because I guess a little bit intense.

I are you okay? Are you having fun with these pirates really? What's

up? Yes.

That's some pirate anger right there.

Well, I think we gotta take a quick break, folks, to to

we're jumping the water.

I think we just need a little breather here. But when we come back, we'll we'll hit a couple of the reviews for the week, and and we'll we'll get into we'll get into that. So stick around.

I'm going to pee.

Folks, we're so excited for you guys to come down to subtle shores, but we know that for some of you guys, it's a long drive. You know, it's not just an easy pop pop pop from house to door, So sometimes you need to stop on the road.

Especially if you're like many of our customers including one whole floor of the resort, and you're a truck driver. You've got a long haul ahead of you, my friend.

And I know that all my truck drivers out there, as we said, there are a few here, have some pretty strong opinions about where they spend their time and that's why today we wanna talk to you about Big Willie's truck stop. Just off exit forty two.

This ain't no crappy subway with a Chevron. This is big willies. We're talking showers. Waterfall that you pee on. Ben and candy.

Big willies wants us to remind you that the waterfall that you pee on should not be confused with the showers.

That's right. There is no peeing in the showers. And if you are caught, you will be persecuted with extreme prejudice.

A big will is, we persecute every customer, big or small that breaks our rules.

To the fullest extent of the law.

And at six thirty PM, every day is the daily crucifixion. Where where the the last person to pee in the shower. It's crucified on the roof of the truck stop.

Now, they like us to speak from personal experience in these ad reads. And I'll say that I was crucified at least five times the big willies, and each time I left more persecuted than the last.

A Christian truck stop is an important place for the American family regardless of where you're going. Heaven, hell, or even subtle shores.

Is it just me? Or is Big Willie's the only truck stop that Jesus Christ himself would be happy to be persecuted and

yeah. And it is not just you, Dwayne. In fact, I have a testimonial right here from a very religious man from across the pond. Says here, wow, look at this truck stop. The best truck stop I have ever been to, and I was born in a manger.

Okay. A religious man from across the pond, so we know it's not Ricky Jervais. Who could this magical man be?

Folks, big willies. It's showers, it's got a waterfall to pee on, and of course, it's got bean candy.

Oh, you gotta try the bean candy. In this day and age, the best way to get candy is to stick your hands in a bin, reach in and feel what's in there and take out your favorite parts. My personal favorite? The jelly bellies.

That's right. It's loose jelly bellies to grab with your hands as well as protective vests for working on the road, phone chargers, car amp magnifiers, flares, floor mats, flat tire repair kits, mechanic out back. Big Willie himself doing a five PM manger show every night.

Stop signs. Novelty mugs. Magazines. Oh, magazines has crossed out here, actually.

Road dust.

Did we say car chargers?

Yeah. Yeah. It also rode the

gold dust.

Dust in the wind on CD.

Oh, this the entire the guy from Kansas is eye patch.

Jesus' hair ash.

Because, of course, Jesus, notably burned after he was on the on cross. It's part of the story that a lot of people don't learn. But here, you'll learn the entire story of Jesus Christ which, of course -- Yes.

--

he was crucified, put in the tomb, sat for three days, disappeared, reappeared, was lit on fire like a witch in the Salem witch trials, and his ashes were buried underneath the Vatican, a little part of the story that nobody knows.

Big Willie wants us to be very clear that this is a truck stop from the true Christianity.

That's right. No false idols here. This is where real Christians go to gas up, empty out their bowels and pee pees. And grub add grub and grub and grub. That's right. You can also eat a big willies.

That's right. We have four count them one, two, three, four carving stations that you can choose from. We have Beef Lam Heroes.

We have loaves and fishes.

We have a a giant gummy bear carving station.

And, of course, the egg salad carving station.

If you're like me, you'll be going back to that egg salad station for thirds, and then the restroom for fourths.

Come on down to big willies where you can stop for an hour or a week. Amen.

Amen. It

says here, the real amen.

Alright, folks. Thanks so much for sticking it out through the break. We appreciate it. We we wanted to take a minute. You know, we we posted in the welcome brochure, a hashtag that people could use on Twitter this week to to let us know how their experience at subtle shores went, hashtag last resort, feel free to use that hashtag all over Twitter whenever you want to to let us know how things went with your stay at subtle shores.

And this has been big. We've gotten thousands of guest responses. Yeah. Thousands of guest responses on the hashtag last resort.

Yeah.

It's pretty great. It's nice to see the engagement. You know? It's interesting when you have way more tweets than you have people who stayed at your resort because that just means the people who are staying there had enough good experiences that they jumped on on Twitter to to let us know. Yeah.

It means, like, there's also a ripple that ripples out from our resort that infects not only people who stay here, but people who live nearby and have maybe heard.

Yeah. So we're gonna read a couple of these last resort tweets to just keep the flames stoked.

Yeah. So again, yeah, if you want to hashtag last resort on Twitter, and we'll we maybe can read read a couple more of these in the future on the on the show.

You wanna start a soft skip?

Sure. I'll I'll I'll start one off here. This one comes from at anon twenty one seven WiFi password is password. SSN of one owner is two two seven four three. Okay. Hold a hashtag last resort. Alright. Now we won't finish that one.

Alright. So somebody posted did we get Docs? Or what happened there? Who's Social Security number?

What was that?

Somebody posted the first posted my my Social Security number. Scared. And the WiFi password, which Okay. We should have changed the Well,

that explains why the courthouse was calling you this week.

That sounds like a goof one. Let's read

a real let's

read a real one.

Yeah.

Okay. I got one. So here, this one is from at p roach. Suffocation, no breathing. This is my hashtag last resort from Leroyds.

Wow. That must be papa wrote.

Wow. Oh, we're a fan of Papa roach that that really likes the place or Yeah.

I think p papa roach on Twitter is at papa roach. I don't think they have to shorten to p roach.

Dated And there's no No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Because my my family name is Roach, and my grandfather actually has papa Roach.

Yes.

So they do have And

your grandfather and your grandfather's tweets are hilarious. Hilarious.

Yes. And Nana wrote y'all Yeah.

Pop her roads, nana road.

I also love her music, by the way.

Oh my god. My nana's music is unbelievable they're big on grandpa grandma Twitter. Yes. Grandpa grandma Twitter. It's a different site. It's It's what was it dot com. And

oh, yeah.

They're big on it. They're they're the two most tweeted at individuals on grandpa grandma, Twitter.

Two months visited individuals.

Individuals.

Well, okay. I think you know, what Whatever happened there if it's the real band that's a fan of us or someone who loves the band. Any Papa Roach fans are welcome here and any fans any early two thousands new medal are welcome.

Absolutely. There's

obviously, if you know the Madonna Ann in in San Luis Obispo, they have a lot of themed rooms. We have a new metal floor.

Yeah.

So you could always stay in the limp bizkit suite. Yeah. You can always get chopped Sui at the system

we have a small

system of a down comforters.

We do. We do. We have a really small room at the end of the hall for POD.

Yeah.

It's a pod.

We have to be the POD room. Yeah.

And Of course. And then we have the up on the roof, the sort of roof terrace, the Lincoln Park,

yes. Great.

Let's not forget about the mud vein.

How good we? That's good we've taken over a lot of the place.

Yes.

Yes. On basically, the the some of the most rejuvenating mud you can soak in is in the mud vein. It's fantastic.

Else? What else? Well, if you're feeling like a freak on a leash, the corn room is good or the maze room, depending on what you wanna call it.

Well, that's weird. I got another tweet here from last resort, would I be wrong? Would I be right? If I went to the buffet tonight

--

oh. -- chances are that I might hashtag last resort.

So that does feel like a lyric from that saw them but actually about our resort there.

And that one was from at p p roach.

Oh, p p roach.

By the way, did you guys get your P. P. R. From the government?

Yeah. Oh, they

were given small business P. P. R. To stop the overseer. Yeah.

Shit. I applied for one.

I yeah. We I mean, we applied for one as a business, and then we got dragged all over the Internet for receiving it.

Yeah. People said we didn't deserve of it, but it was like, you know, would we be wrong? Would we be right? And apparently, people thought we were wrong. Right. Well, here's a tweet. And I hope this is a real one. This is from at bumblebee tunic, and

it's -- Okay.

--

if if you want to have an amazing weekend, where your room is cleaner after housekeeping has been in there. Mhmm. The gym has dumbbells under ninety five pounds and you won't accidentally bump into a cactus several times because there's cactus everywhere. You should definitely go to la hashtag last resort

--

okay.

--

hashtag opposite day.

Oh, oh, crap. Well, that sounded I will say that sounded really good, and through the magic of editing, we'll take out that last part.

Yeah. Well, so delete opposites Day. Editor.

Yeah. Editor.

I think a big ten

or eight

something that Yeah. Say it then pause and then say it and pause.

Delete opposites Day. And I have to say it loud so there's a big thing on the waveform. Right.

You can even have one of us maybe somebody's scream. Just do a

big Ah.

That'll that'll show up.

Delete opposite's Day.

Okay. Great. So that on the timeline should look like big spike -- Yes.

--

then a nice little thing then

big spike. Obviously, if you're done with sickness, please join the nurses wing. We've got the disturbance, nurses wing.

Alright. I got one here. This is from at Adnan. What's up? Y'all doing podcasts. Give me out of here.

So that, of course, is odd and on the main focus of the podcast serial. Serial.

Yeah. Think Siri's looking Adnan's looking for some more. It's another way to get out.

Well, maybe that'll be a good subtle TV show. Is maybe we'll be the ones finally get Adnan Saeed out of prison for the murder. He's so obviously committed.

Oh, come on. It's not so obvious.

I got I got another one here. This one comes from at all the time.

I love the attitude already.

And it says

you'd love to have

all the time. Won't share his onion rings, and then there's a gift of a kid shooting his dad in the head with a nerf gun. Oh, nerve traffic.

Thank you, that resort. Whoo.

So last resort, if you can't get onion rings, just to shoot you

that big wind. Hey.

It's Dad Bay.

That is a freaky tweet, my man.

Dad is bad. Who was

that from?

That was from all the time. Now that I see it, I don't think this is about us.

I think

this is from, like, a meme account.

Dad is Bay is a big trending thing on TikTok right where you pretend to fuck your dad.

Yes. We've all done a dad's pay video here.

Those are huge and hilarious. Absolutely.

These kids on TikTok are just lampooning their parents and making them feel crazy is awesome.

I got I got one more here. One more let's see. It also started when I lost my mother hashtag last resort, but I think she went surfing.

Oh, okay. Okay.

So that is sealed. And that one was from at Poo poo wrote. Okay.

That'll bait many questions are being begged

from -- Yeah. Yeah.

--

obviously, you know, part of me is, like, that is a lyric from the Pop Road song. Resort.

But then we did have disappearances. Yes.

We have lost a few mothers in our circuses.

Less there, we did have some disappear.

Yeah. So to be fair, that could be about us. Here's one that is interesting and so we'll see. I don't I think what we'll see. If anyone has had a major injury or trauma at hashtag last resort. Please DM me for a class action lawsuit you may be eligible to join and that's at the Legal Smegle. So

oh my god.

I'm gonna say don't do that. If you an

ambulance chaser?

Yes. I'm clearly an ambulance chaser.

He's always chasing around those ambulance going, my precious loss my precious little lawsuit.

This guy they say they say you've gotta be handsome to win in in a court of law. This is the ugliest man I've ever seen

if you've seen

if you've seen his ads. This guy is the ugly man. He looks familiar. Yeah.

Yeah. His ads are also a little discombobulated. And sometimes he's talking camera. Sometimes he's like yelling into the mirror.

I got one over here at in the doctor's waiting room. And all? Does the grass have to be cut every day? And does it have to be only cut with a weed eater with no muffler by a man who is practicing his American. I will understand you. Resort.

What are you gonna say about that one job drop down? Because that seems like

to you, mister Arden.

Listen, you can at me at Drowey Jop cloth ung. If you got specific, listen. I saw a couple of beautiful American Idol auditions, and I knew I had to. So I'm listen I I'm I'm practicing my audition, and I What's on the computer? The lawnmower. I mean, the the the the weed eater because the lawnmower broke

well, and you did audition and the lawnmower is going to Hollywood.

I will say that was a very unfortunate moment for you, but I was in direct agreement.

Yes. I couldn't believe, but Paula Abdul sent my m my weed eater straight to Hollywood. So but but I'm part I'm it's Guardian because it's under eighteen.

Yeah.

So you're doing the little sort of off screen interview with Ryan Seacrest as your your Yes.

I'm waiting outside of the weight of the audition room.

Technically, its Guardian is the thing around the bottom that keep safe the little wire that swings around. That's the only thing

safety kind of Guardian.

Yes. Yes. That's what's going to Hollywood specifically, the safety guardian.

And you see Chris interview and and they may be very exciting. Maybe kind of a staple of the show. I think the most interesting thing to watch is who's gonna be holding the microphone? Because you're constantly grabbing his hand and pulling the microphone in the face.

Yes. I definitely think I'm a better secret than Seacrest And I actually he I came on the one hundred and two point seven in the morning. Yeah. And I did a couple of morning interviews with him on kiss f m. And I hosted. It was actually pretty nice. I mean, I was there illegally.

And you're doing Yeah.

Because you can't work in the United States.

No. I don't I'm I'm the first US citizen with no visa.

It should probably say that out loud.

Credit card or legal.

Legal? Yeah. I cannot work in the States. So I must be paid in cash, and I have to leave every three months and come back.

Because you've taken the naturalization test and failed so many times. They're like, you gotta go.

Yes. I am I'm an illegitimate US citizen.

Illegitimate. Yes.

Yes. You've been given your red card

i have. I was rushed up too by a man in black and white stripes and giving a red card, and I must leave the country.

But I will say, yeah, you know, that was a pretty nasty tackle.

Oh, yeah. It was. I kicked the men in the shins with

some police jams. Man. It was the president.

I kicked the president with some shins. Yeah. With my gender his Shin content.

And that is terrible because you must respect the office of the president.

You must Of course.

The office give the office the respect it deserves. Even if the president doesn't,

we have to respect.

We have to.

And then The office holds so much respect.

Yeah. Absolutely. And we say that about anyone in the office. Even the office here, you must respect. I mean, we I come from a different time and these kids don't under these tiktok heads. Yep. They don't get the respect at the office.

I mean, I hear people dissing Steve Carell and I say, you shut your fucking mouth. You must respect the office. You must respect Stanley? Creed. Demand. Creed.

Pam's first boyfriend in department?

Meredith has an alcohol problem. Okay? It's not funny, it deserves respect.

That's right.

B. J. Nove.

BJ No. Not just a cast member but a writer and producer.

He said

show him the respect.

Honestly put him in the White House respect.

Respect on

the office.

Put some

respect on the office's

name. Bergman.

Well, so those are the tweets. You can always tweet us at hashtag last resort. And, obviously, you know, make them nice, make them friendly, and make them

make them about the resort, if we could.

That's right.

But should we clarify the hashtag to make it so that it doesn't overlap with other media? Because it does feel like we're We're getting a lot of tweets that don't necessarily correlate to the resort. Should we maybe instead of saying last resort, have it be subtle shores? Or should we be last resort? Show sure.

There's a couple of suicide notes that have been tweeted at us that were hashtag last resort.

Well, I wouldn't wanna complicate it.

Right.

Well, and I you know, a lot of people have tweeted us and I they're not papa Roach fans, but they do tweet at last resort losing my faith losing my mind.

Mhmm.

And so I'm wondering is that happening here to some people?

Yeah. I I think yeah. I don't think that's to do with us.

Okay. Good. So, yeah, maybe instead of a hashtag west resort, hashtag west resort, not papa Roach song.

Uh-huh. Not clapa roach song. Yes. Maybe that's good. So next time yeah. If you tweet at us at last resort, not papa roach song,

yep.

That'll be the surefire way to get your experience at at Soto Shores accounted for. On social media.

But needless to say, the tweets show people are happy. Things are going

good here. We're past

the grand opening, and now the ball is rolling.

Yeah. The ball's rolling. We had our we're planning our big Valentine's Day at last resort

--

mhmm.

--

which I think is gonna be a way to show that we are a romantic getaway as well. I know the interest has all the types of people we're for. Yeah. But I think bring your boo here, bring your hoodies and stuff.

Some hot hot tubs.

Mhmm. That's right. And did we end up getting cute heart or realistic heart?

Realistic heart anatomical heart. So you slide in through this big artery and you get kinda pumped out and

two separate chambers.

To Yeah. Sort of like a loop of a water slide where they shoot out one side and then come in the

other side. It's based on my heart because I didn't show up with so there's a couple of stints And the

in the heart itself.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. There's some stints. Oh, I

did some stints in your heart.

Yes.

I did a weekend in your heart, I think. But, yeah, it's a it's a the tubs are beautiful.

Thank you.

And the rooms are did we get are we doing kind of the pink paint on the room?

Yes. Cholesterol and some yellow list for all?

Well, well, that's the thing. You can you can sort of choose your own adventure in that regard. We have layers of plaque. You can get a sort of, like, thirty five year old bad diet. You can get sixty five year old with active heart disease. Yes. There's sort of layers to it.

Jeans, like, eight fine, but your jeans are bad.

Yeah. Opposite, eight horrible, but great jeans.

Yes.

So there's layers. The whole floor that we're we're redoing for the heart themed Valentine's

day in February.

A vegetarian heart.

A vegetarian heart. And speaking of on-site plaque, the the dentist is opened.

The dentist, the on-site dentist

is open. That's exciting. I think to bring your loved one and get your teeth checked for Valentine's

that's that's I think a thing that Sonto Shores does that no other resort will do. They'll do you can do errands while you're here. A lot of people are afraid to go on vacation because they'll feel like behind on their errands.

That's right. We have an optometrist. We have a dentist.

Oh, you know. You can just get pita chips.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have things that other resorts don't exactly offer.

Yeah. Male. You could do your mail here. Mail. Dot x, print gift wrap.

Yeah. Yeah. You can you can We have

a cobbler on-site.

Mhmm. You

get your shoe heels restored. We sold. Yeah. You can

drop by the mall even if you don't really need anything. Yeah.

Nice walk around.

We have the color me mine. Mhmm. You can do a little pot here.

Yeah. That's right.

You color me you cannot do pot. Color me theirs.

Color me theirs.

Color me theirs where you steal somebody's body and you color it?

Well, that's the back door

of color me mine. Right.

Yes. Color their me's, which is you call people around and try to color them.

We have the most pottery of any resort. Yeah. I will say. And that's something that we're passionate about. Low potty show up.

Hey, when you've got the space.

Brogan's here. Brogan's here.

I love

it here. Thank That was Seth.

That was Seth walking past our beach side podcast studio.

Hey, Seth Brokins here, folks. Our first celebrity that we don't really have a problem with being new.

Right. Yeah. We love it.

Oh, we love Shwimmer, I guess. So it's a big new Shwimmer. Is not doing well.

Well, here's the really surprising part. Shimmer can't swim.

No. Right? Shimmer drown. Swimmer?

Yeah. We better delete. He's not doing well. He drowned.

Shwimmer drowned in in well, let's just say heavy floaties.

Yes.

And rest in peace. Should we do a moment for David Shwomel? I think

we could probably That's heinous. A moment of silence for David Schwomel.

Yeah. Let's take a Shwommer drown. Shommer

drown. Right up

the short neck And

i think we'll play I think

just standing in three feet.

Let's just do a moment of remembrance and we'll play his favorite song.

That's

very beautiful. That's beautiful.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No.

No. So no one told you you were gonna drown today. Your life should

joking it from. You drowned

it anyway.

It's like you cannot breathe underwater.

But then you'll always look around

and say, I'm underwater. Life card's not there for you.

And you drowned

in the pool. Right. God went online. You drowned in

the pool.

Life Guard was there, but

you drowned in the pool. No. No. No. No. Now.

We'll miss you, David.

We barely knew you.

So, yeah, you still floating around in the in the pool.

Oh, yeah. Big issue here is just the the

he's too far away.

On our little our little pool that are too short and

too far away. Well, and that's also

a problem with keeping the pool clean. We can't quite get to the middle

--

well -- which I have way back.

So we've got a Pacific garbage island in the middle

of the pool.

We've got a little bit of a garbage island in the middle of our pool right now. But we're working on it. We're working with We're

working on it.

Yeah. We're working on it. We're working with We've got a few engineers working on it. A few engineers working on it. They're working on that technology that they're working on to clean up oil spills, where it's,

like, sort of skin. Year old boy trying to save the garbage island. Yes.

It's It's tough.

You are must pedophile enemies coming in to clean it up or the guy you almost cleaned was a pedophile. Right?

Yeah. Which was If I'm not mistaken, it was the guy who saved the Chilean

yeah. The guy who saved the Chilean miners, Elon Musk, the guy married to a twenty year old that looks like she's thirteen called that guy a pet now.

I'll tell you what, Elon does something every day that I'm like, damn. I gotta listen to this guy more.

Yeah. In a thousand.

Well, Yohan and I go to the same guy that puts clothespins on the back of our head to

find our skin up.

And you and Elon had a blast smoking your first joint together with

that's right. We both spoke to big fat joint with Joe Rowgan.

And

and you guys both run a keynote equally confident with no weird stutters?

Yes. We went through big keynotes. We walk around.

We oh,

we don't need note cards.

Thank you. Classically, both never had a keynote go off without a hitch.

Well, yes. I because

you bust somebody's window out too one time in the keynote. Right?

Yeah. Well, I did a keynote where I was, like, oh, I bet you I could hit any note you want. And I I hit a note and I bus it I busted

a Cyber truck window.

A Cyber trucks window.

You wanna lead designers on Cyber trucks. I apologize.

Well, I was like, what is something you can drive through poor neighborhoods? And they no matter how much they hate you for being wealthy and an asshole, you know, they can't hurt your car. Yeah. And so I was like, let me make the symbol of American inequality.

Right.

And

i think I nailed it. What are you saying?

I think it was the ugliest thing I've ever seen and it's beautiful.

Elon shot me into space in that little funny car, you know.

And you landed back on your feet? I did. It was unbelievable. Yeah.

I landed on, like

plastic, stuff.

I definitely burned up on entry, but Al you put some Al on that, you'll be fine. So yeah.

And I think and and correct me if I'm wrong, but you the first SpaceX launch that you did not attend was the one recently where the rocket blew up on its way back down to Earth. Right?

Yeah. I like, just say I had some inside info on that one and

skip, can I ask, did you say, crap me if I'm wrong? Like, turn you into a crepe.

Crap me for

more. Is that a little bit of a

it's a it's a it's a story line for the show. I'm doing I'm doing a Oh. It's the a guy.

Get me if I'm wrong. That's your new show.

Well, well, it's a storyline for the for for my for the reality show, for off script. And the idea is that it's gonna be the the the premise of the whole episode is that all day, I'm accidentally misspeaking because I'm so I'm so hungry for breakfast

oh, so the premise of the whole two hour, by the way, the two hour show. Is that you're hungry?

Yeah. And I constantly I constantly misspeak.

Well, I love the next one.

A two hour show, no commercials.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Well, the commercials are in the show, and I think they're pretty subtle.

Yeah. Yeah. They were pretty should we go to a scene?

From from an episode.

Oh, yeah.

I could show you if I'm wrong episode.

I could show you I could show you guys a quick clip of the episode. Yeah. So here the so this if I'm not mistaken

lacing in a little bit of advertisement, very surreptitious.

Yeah. And it's also I'm also really hungry for breakfast

and play.

Alright. Thank you for calling Walmart customer service. Great.

What was that, sir? I'm sorry. My grandmother is behind me, and she's screaming about Ihop.

I hop. Yeah.

What's your grandma's favorite thing at I hop?

I hop. Great.

The cribs. Your grandma are you sure

your grandma's done a parrot?

Listen, buddy. No. I'm not not Domino's delivery.

Okay. Come on in.

To this squad.

Domino's here at the Walmart customer service.

You're doing great. Wow. That was fast.

Yeah. They were waiting outside.

Oh. Jesus doesn't stink at all.

Oh, wait. If you wanna get rid of the stench, why don't you try this for breathe?

Oh my god. You put

a blindfold on me and it didn't even stink like terrible pizza in here.

That's right. Papa John. Not minding the smell.

Open up that nose with a b or a strip. I mean, breathe right strip.

Did you say Bori or B York?

That's exactly right. Did someone say my name? It's me, Bori. Alright. Pause. Pause.

Alright. I thought you were gonna put it's subtle.

They were. They happened off off screen.

Have you okay. Well, have

you guys heard bureaus new album, by the way? She showed up to the Grammy's in a huge, breathe right strip. I know.

Yeah. Her Her song, blackheads, back blackheads was really nice.

But I can

back in blackhead? I can wait. Does your a u

breathe ice strips or

egg yolk looks

like Pure. Right. But She sounds like ACBC.

That's right. Okay. So real quick.

Yeah.

What was that an advertisement for? Walmart because the Domino's delivered a sneaky pizza, and it said, mhmm. Right. Papa John's and Fabrice was there. But I hop was being screamed in the background, and crepe. Well, here's the thing. I

promise people if they advertise on my show.

Right.

It'll never feel like an ad for them.

And it didn't And

he's so confusing you won't know what the

ads were. The fact that you say, I don't know what that was an ad for is it it means that I did my job. Because I'll tell you this, I think every single person who hears that ad is going to probably get a Papa John's pizza.

Well They're awesome. Probably, when I first saw that clip, I called up and I ordered thirty breathe threads strips and I ate them so fast. Yeah. So it worked on me.

Yeah. And and that was actually ironically, very tough for you to breathe.

Yes. Yeah. If you eat a lot of breeze right strips, the result will be ironic. I would

well, Skip, I'm just proud of you for a, getting the production done

--

yeah.

--

and b, nailing down all that promotion.

And I'll tell you guys this. Would you believe it if I told you that that entire scene was shot by Dennis The lunatic? Really? Yeah. He's a bit of a DP.

That explains the snapjet filter the the that was on your face. Yeah.

You kept doing the dog licking thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I told him I listen. If you can settle down for a long enough to shoot this your own butt. Yeah. I told him you could do whatever you want to be.

This new filter period every time you open your mouth, the head turns around and licks its butt. I don't know

how they do it because my butt wasn't even close to on camera. And I my my weird little dog body just sort of crunches up, and I licked my butt. I'm impressed with the technology, and I'm impressed with Dennis because this honestly, I feel like this is turning point for he and I. He didn't do a single prank this week. And you know why? Wow. Because he was so busy shooting my reality show for twenty four hours a day for the last for the last three days.

I don't

know what you think of the show.

Well, I'm waiting to show it to her. I'm waiting it to show it to her. I told her she's gonna what did she say? Told her she's gonna be in it, but I'm waiting to show it to her because I don't want her to nip it in the bud before she sees the finished product.

Can I tell you what she thought of the show?

I I would prefer to to

you only hear it from a horse's mouth.

I would prefer to hear from a horse's mouth. No. No. No. It's it's fine.

Well, your wife delivers all bad news to you by voice over. She puts peanut butter in her horse's mouth, and then she does voice over as she's a horse talking to you.

Yeah.

And that's the only way you can handle any sort of

bad news.

I mean, it's easier for me to take in that in that context. I hear you, man. Yeah.

You you know, if you're laughing, you're not crying.

It's true. And

but, no, you could tell me how she feels.

She hated

it. Okay.

That's all she said. It was a short video.

Know how you could watch this show and hate it. I really I do not under it's just it's so fun and exciting and interesting and unique. I just don't understand how anybody

you got some bad news on it recently. I don't know if you wanna play that clip. And I don't know if there was advertising during the bad news or what.

Really, really tough news.

But they caught they caught that moment. Right?

Yay. Yeah. Wait. Wait. Which of the well,

pause, possible.

Oh, pause.

Which of the bad news?

I don't remember what we have queued here.

Should we just roll it and see? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And one, two, three, play.

Hey, doc. How's it going? It's not going good. Oh, I'm so sorry for you? No. For you. Oh, I'm gonna put your x rays.

Ah, yeah.

Grandma. Your grandma's here also mine's on the waiting my grandma. She wants I hop. Oh. Grandma, I told you, bring your grandma to work day. You had to be quiet. I up. I know you can hop. Okay? Alright. Look. As you can see, there's a little bit of cloudiness here in this right lung. Yeah. That looks like a pizza. You're damn right. It is. It's I have pizza long. You have pizza long. Well, hold on one second. Alright. Hi.

Hi. Sorry. Is the can I enter through the metal door, or should I do

if you could do the glass door? Okay.

Musanax. She's too much cheese. Use the next. Okay. And I have a delivery here, special delivery? For him or for me? Which one of you is Scott Powell?

That's me.

Hi. You've been served you have genital heart disease. Are you kidding me?

Lawyers. Wait. For this paper, you just handed me as a menu for macaroni grill.

Yeah. Did you want something? The thing with that credit grill is they do pickup orders, that's it.

Open your nose. Open your nose and breathe right?

Gramma Beore quiet.

You write your grandma here as well?

Well, this my job.

Let's stop. Okay. That is clear. That was clear. That was clear.

Yeah. At least we know what all the odds were for that.

So I have pizza.

It's wild. The the doctor didn't really give you your bad news. He just advertised Pizza Pop John's Pizza lot. Well well Have you

had the new Papa John's pizza or

do you think you already

have pizza long? I think that was an advertisement.

Well, it I'll say this. It's inconclusive. I'm getting a second opinion because there's so much going

on at

the doctor's office that day.

Right.

I'm not confident that

he was excellent. Have you already gotten the second opinion? Do we have that on two?

We do have that

on two. Okay. Play.

Hey, Doug. How you doing? Good.

Wait. I'm sorry. Quick pause. I can't Are

you supposed to get a second opinion from the same doctor?

You're getting from the same guy.

But you just clear out all the other You wanted

to hear what else you have.

Yeah. You you say what's your

next Pleasure. Thanks for coming back for a second. For sure. Are we sure I have pizza long? Yes.

Okay. Thank you so much.

Stop. That's it.

Okay. So you do have pizza lovers. Roost did. No, because it happened to her.

I can't believe this

i didn't wanna spoil

the show. The doctor wasn't offended. We're gonna be back for a second opinion from him.

Yes. I didn't want, man. I'm bummed that we had to play that on the air. People are are gonna not they're not gonna enjoy the episode.

You know

what I think

has really happened that is amazing, and this was accidental. We started by saying how great the resort is. Mhmm. All of the things that the resort offers, the amenities, the optometrist, everything, But I really feel like we might be one of the big cells of the resort.

That's true. People are taking pictures with us lately.

Absolutely. The podcast we should say the podcast itself is taking off.

Mhmm.

And people say it's like a train wreck I can't stop listening. The yeah. But which I always take as

a compliment. That movie was very good.

Yeah. Well It's just like train racing. Funny. John Cena's great in it. He's great on the resort as well. Great. He's great here.

Yeah. Jon Cena, of course, go into the gift shop and buy some John seen a jeans? Some well, some Genas?

In the long jeans short

there are jeans for short people.

And Sina is here, of course, doing his new brand of therapy talk. All he's doing is talking about how you have be good to yourself.

Yeah. It's a lot of a lot of his therapy is, like, I don't know what you're doing. You should look like a human square. You need to look like me, like a human's sweater.

I've done now, I'm pretty happy with it. I think I'm in my sixth session of Squareape with Johnson. And I think I'm learning a lot about myself and just some of the patterns in my life of normal body. That I'm trying to fix, I would say.

But we're all born into it. You know, we're all born into normal body, and it's quite a journey to become a square. Right. You know, you really have to take that spiritual and physical journey up.

And you've been drinking big glasses of eggs.