Sene Gimmons

Welcome to last resort the podcast where billionaire jet setters eat prey lovers in a family of five just looking for a nice getaway. And tune in to get the inside scoop on the goings on of the I don't care what anybody else says, best off beach, Gulf Coast, vacation spot, In the beautiful USFA subtle shores, resort, buffet, offshore casino, and underwater cemetery. I, of course, am Scott Skip, Powell. One of the four proprietors here with my buddies.

Hello. My name is Sydney Powell, brother of Scotty, Skipby over here, and Skip, you forgot also launchpad for the new NASA project.

I need But

not forget and and I am angling closer and closer to piloting that ship, maybe plane. That plane.

Now is NASA involved or talking public private partnership here or

--

yeah. -- is it strictly private?

This is the what the the law year. Coming up next week is going to be a co a co sponsored thing between SpaceX, NASA, and now monster energy drink. That's right.

Monster came on board.

Monster came on board. They thought it was gonna be they said shit show. I don't think It's gonna that's unfair to me, but they say the spectacle is worth their branding. So monster is now involved, and we're really excited, and we got the permits for the launch pad. So we can officially say subtle shores is also a launch pad.

That's all you need is permits.

Permets went through quick. We know Debbie down at the permit office, and we submitted those plans. And I will have You guys know how you roll up those plans. You got the big role of plans.

You stick in that leather bound

i fudged the plans. I'm gonna be dead honest. I got up late. They're like, where's your role? I went into the bathroom and I lined up twelve rolls of toilet paper. I taped them together, and I just went to scribbling. And I Debbie was like, no questions here.

Well, yeah.

Take Debbie out to a beautiful dinner?

I did. I took Debbie out to a beautiful dinner. The night before, and it was gorgeous. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you spent the night at her house and the twelve rolls of toilet paper were her toilet paper. Alright?

Well, yes. I I exhausted her brand new pack of twelve cottonelles. She had just came in. She I could tell she just got that role. They were in the guest bathroom underneath the sink, which is so nice. Who's got that many roles in the guest bathroom? And I stole that shit. Don't leave me at your house after a night because I'll steal the shampoo. I don't just do it in hotels. I leave it to shampoo and back to a people's house. It's our unbolter. Picture of us couple of lily pads off your wall. I'll roll with that shit. I'll leave. None of course

is the voice of a drop Cloth.

Hey everybody. My name is What was it last week?

We don't know.

Shoot. We don't know. We don't know, Joey. It's on my phone, and I'm recording with my phone. Couple holder. Yeah. Yeah. My name was cup holder, and I think it's a a doc it's doctor this week. I used a couple of the letters, and I came up with doctor. Shoot. I wish I would've looked at my phone. So you You did

but it's -- you do you did legally change your name again, but you do not remember what you named what you changed your name to.

--

Yes. Yeah. I went in there and I used all the letters

and this one this one was free. Right? You got to your free name change on the punch card?

Yes. Yes. I got to my free name change. It was free.

And it was but it had to be a six inch name change? Yes. Or could you do a foot walk?

No. It's gonna be six inch, and you can only tack it on.

Oh, you need to buy a soda or another name change or something like that.

Another full price in case.

You can

check this one for free.

I had to get a new Social Security card, and I got the name changed. But, yeah, it was only a six inch so I could only change it to Doc which is a frequent letters that are in my original name. That's it.

It's eight six letters.

Drop cloth Young. Yeah.

And, of course Those letters On your way home, on the bus. There was an incident, and they said, is there a doctor on the bus? And you said yes. And while reps in peace, to

rest in peace.

Rest in peace to

the mayor -- To the mayor. --

the mayor was on the bus. The mayor prides himself on taking public transit. And he died on the bus because I, of course, said, give me some room. Stand back. And they were like, you're not a real doctor. We know who you are.

And he was he was he not the person he was not the person who was was in a medical emergency. You said, get back get back and you pushed him out the They're gonna say, Brissy.

Writhing around next to him having a cough stroke.

And then you tried

to choking with a stroke.

You tried to give that person CPR, but you accidentally gave him PPR?

Yes. Personal protective resuscitation. So basically, you put a mask on them and you try to plunger. You try to use it as a plunger. It's PPR. Yeah. And it

and you did end up getting some things that were flushed down that guy's mouth that shouldn't have been.

Well, what's unfortunate is I washed up a bunch of my own dookie, which is disgusting. It's disgusting. I don't know how but it was humiliating for me.

As long as you recognize it, it's not

gross anymore.

I know it was disgusting, so it's fine.

I don't like to spread gross stuff, you know, around -- No.

but I I it was humiliating because, you know, when you're over at an in law's house and you clog the t, and you have to Toilet. Thank you. And thank you for doing that so much, Sydney. Sometimes people are like, he just said seven letters in a row, I do not know what he means.

--

Clarity is very important me.

Because the other day, of course, I was in Walmart and I said, c d p l, and you were like

close down, please.

Losers. Of course. Close down, please losers. Because they're open twenty four hours like, closed down, please losers. You need to clean the story. You need these whatever.

You need

to sleep. Yes. You must sleep. These people are so tired in Walmart, and they're like, No. They have shifts. And I'm like, I'm telling you that's the same guy who was in here at seven AM. He's tired. But yeah. So I got my own poop by the the Meredith guy. So alright. Be the bear. We're gonna go to an indoor funeral. It's gonna be packed. And

and I know wanna celebrate a man's death, but the mayor dying, I do believe, was the reason that the permits went through so quickly. No one really had any.

I do, like, people Huge

celebration is an order, and it's not because of the death. But although one mayor dies, one permit lives.

And I guess that's where I should introduce myself. Mayor, Dwayne Croonan Newman. Yes. It went through. Yes. I was next in the line succession. It it is the most famous person in town, becomes the mayor of the mayor dies, and I I had the -- Mhmm. -- the most Instagram followers that time and the most Instagram mom follows at the time. So I am now pushing some pro launch legislation through it which I'm very happy to do.

Oh, crying to the mood.

Whoa. Yes, Duane. Now what's gonna be your first order of business is mayor? I know you have a lot of platforms that you would sort of scream. Walking around town. Everybody was like, that's crazy. But are you gonna throw one through?

Every day is Christmas. So I'm doing everyday is Christmas, and so I'm hoping my albums will sell. You've gotta play Christmas music every day. And it's If you're against this then you're against Christmas. I mean, who's against that? So obviously, we're talking to the calendar people about his everyday also December twenty fifth.

Right.

How does Christmas Eve work if everyday is Christmas. So there's a lot of stuff happening here. But

but the

law is passed. The law is passed. Yeah.

Well, yet it's going who who's desk does it go to first? Skut skip?

Whose disk

does it get yeah.

It well, it went as a dev It went through debt yeah. Debbie goes to Debbie's disk. I mean, Debbie didn't I mean, it was basically just a stamp and go with her.

Well, you take her out

to a nice enough dinner, she'll give me just about anything you want.

Debbie's well, a lot of people don't know. They think we're wining and dining her and we're using romantic prowess. We're not. Debbie's just hungry.

She's hungry and she loves she loves good wine.

Oh, yeah.

And she's got a wonderful palette. I I love her.

No. No.

We love love women with great palettes.

Yes. We love her palettes. We love what she does for the resort. She has passed plenty of her it's for.

Sydney will fall for a sommelier. Sydney will fall hard.

Well, if if I know that you can sip a wine and know what's going on, you know something I don't. And I'm immediately just entranced. You know? I I fall in love with a sommelier, a chef who puts together two things interestingly, You

fell in love with just people who taste test things on an infomercial late night and go, this air fryer is good.

Yeah. Well, you know, I've been lonely I've been lonely before. And, you know, if if it suggested to me that you know what flavors you like, that gets me right in the right

in the heart.

Decisiveness decisiveness is a very attractive quality. We all know that. Somebody who knows what they want and and isn't afraid to say it is a thing I think we're all interested it is.

Absolutely. I look at you and your wife.

Yeah. I mean yeah. I I'll say this. I think we're sort of an example of the opposite of that scenario. Where two people spend, I'd say, ten years of courting, not really knowing what you

What either of them want? Yeah. I'd say I'm I'm coming to terms with the reality of my relationship with my wife, which is that we we sorta got together because we didn't really know what else to do. We were with each other for ten years, always in that kind of situation of just like, are we at So

would say.

you're still not sure if she likes you all the way. I I You're still kinda one foot in, one foot out on this thing.

Well yeah. Well, I'll say this. Her vows didn't really make it clear one way or the other. Right. You guys read the wedding.

Her her vows were listed. I'm a hard, maybe.

Yeah. Instead, I really love hanging out.

Yeah. Like and then also when it came to time time for us to say I do, and I said I do, and she's and she said, yeah. Sure. It it hit it hit heart, and I think I've spent the last, you know, however many years we've been married, not accepting that. And in in the last few weeks, I've realized that, you know, maybe we are just we're just we're one of those couples that's that's we're never gonna be romantic. We're never gonna be it's not gonna be sexy, but we're here to raise a child the best we can. Okay? And and and and Dennis, Dennis is alive and he is

a lunatic. A yeah.

Yeah. I I I will say I I, you know, we're doing the launch. Your son is a lunatic and I have seen him tinkering a little bit around the rockets and I'm a little I'm getting a little SERT obviously. We have everybody from the Columbia launch working on it. Some of the big, you know, that associates biggest failures in history are working on this launch. So I I I think Dennis to the mix is a little worrisome for me because his tinker

and and I agree, but I think I Good. He says to me, he's passionate about this. Okay? And I know for me, when my dad told me I couldn't pursue a passion, that's the thing that made me hate him and it made me it it's it's still the reason that we don't see each other on holiday, Sydney. You know this?

Of course. Yeah. Scarta's both for life. Yes.

Gonna be tough every

day of the

year, but yeah.

Yeah. So Yeah. And I and and I don't want a situation if the rules change in the future. And if if if I don't want him to carry that with him for the rest of his life. So I'm kind of taking an approach now of just, like, kinda like letting him tire himself out.

The way you breathe you're letting him go to base. Yeah. I think that is a good thing distance wise, a good boundary thing. And I know that NASA wants another shot at the whole monkey thing.

Wait. Hang on. They've let him get they're letting him get on the shuttle.

So you're gonna be on the shuttle together.

That's what I had heard. Yeah. I heard that they wanted to do the monkey thing again, but couldn't actually get a monkey so Dennis Alunatic was the next closest thing.

Yeah. They've taught Dennis to sign health and aliens, I believe, so far.

Okay.

How are you? Those are the first two they got.

I'm gonna take listen. You know what? I want him to do a thing for himself So I'm gonna I'm gonna take this opportunity to formally step down as as a pilot of the ship and sit

here and

take over

-- Really? -- boyd and going to space because you don't wanna be on a ship with your son. That is brutal to the moon.

You know,

it's up It's a hundred percent just because I want him to have a thing that's that's all

I don't want him to think that we're we're tagging on, and I'm and I'm I'm taking the spotlight away from him. This is not has nothing to do with me avoiding him. It's all about letting him do his own thing.

he is.

So

i've heard everything you've said. You respect me as a captain. And, Skip, let me tell you. It means a lot.

Wow. A brotherly gift. It means a lot. A brotherly gift to a man who couldn't handle g force and failed the drug test with flying colors.

Wow. Yes.

Wow. I'll tell you what, I have sunk more ships in the Pacific Ocean than I can count. And this opportunity to fly a plane to the moon, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. And this one will not be like the others. You know? Well, it's good.

Thank you. Is that the goal to get to the moon? Like, what is the exact end goal of this is that to see the dark side of the moon? Is it, you know

yeah. No one's another big dark child in the mood before.

I I I just got I put what's the what is the do you are you taking a saddle up there and dropping it off for

well what we hooked up we hooked up with monster and they decided to make the mission to start dark side of the moon right as you're seeing the dark side of the moon. Right. So that right at the end when it's you get your hair and all that you touch. All that should taste. All of it, you're doing those things as you're on the dark side of the room. Okay. So you're you're back borrowing and stealing. Every line of the Pink Floyd song.

It's become a bit of

a miracle. It's almost like a a thing you do when you're stoned. You go up there and you start Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon.

Oh, yeah, baby. And I know I was just bestowed the captain ship, but we're hotboxing that big.

Sir. Okay. Right around the It's kind of a college dorm type of situation.

Oh, I I know exactly what posters I'm bringing exactly with ones.

Okay. What what do we got? Do we got big big big Bob Marley smoking a j? What do we got?

Of course. That one's going on the ceiling. And then we have, of course, the the Pink Floyd butt but The butt.

Yeah. That's gonna say. Classic. Classic.

That's going right on the windshield as we clear the atmosphere.

What about the the house? Is it the house of the holy or is it stairway to heaven the holding the lantern led zeppelin poster? The old decrepit thing holding the land or

you know, I don't have that one. I don't have that one. What I have is, you know, Barney, the purple dinosaur. I have him in Neon smoking a joint.

Awesome, irreverent, irreverent. Very irreverent. Because I I

used to spend too stuffy. You know what I mean?

Well, I went in there the other day, and I hung up a couple of tapestries over the windows and that that say weed on them just to give you guys a pretty good time.

I really appreciate that.

They just say weed.

It's just just the

word weed.

What else do you need, my brother?

Hey, listen. These I bought these quick, and they weren't, like, genius. They were at a gas station, and I grabbed him. I was drunk in a gas station on the way to Daytona Beach, And I was like, wouldn't these be fun?

It's always appropriate to be drunk in a gas station on the roadside.

You know? Absolutely. Wait. It You gotta be drinking in the car. As long as the driver isn't drinking, we'll open up some open containers. I mean, my middle name was open container for a while.

Absolutely. You know, I gotta be honest. The thing I'm gonna miss most about going to space, little bit of your party attitude JobClaf. I mean, why don't you hop on there? We're gonna need a mechanic.

Well, listen. I was gonna say I was up there. I was hanging up the tapestries. I was putting a big huge desktop on a shitty desk in the corner, you know, classic classic dorm stuff just to set the mood for the dark Saturday?

Did you lock the beds yet? Did you loft the beds

on the

i threw up a Also.

Yeah. I realized once I turned well, you know, like, when you do when you turn eighteen, that you can buy two by fours and build things when just, like, nonstop, So I threw up a little loft that's pretty shittily built. Mhmm.

I saw you bring in that illegal toaster oven. That was a slick move.

Whoa. You know. Toaster ovens on there? Yeah. What about lava lamps?

Lava lamps. Dangerous. I got a yeah. I got a six toast toaster oven, a big wide boy that takes up most of the counter space. And and but I what I was gonna say is I went to leave Caconk slang chow. My leg gets stuck. In a bear trap. Oh, my god. Somebody wanted me in that fuselage and stuck. And I do wanna say it's d d d l. Which is

yes. That sounds like Dennis The lunatic.

I I will say Dennis's pranks have pranks and lunatic mischief have sort of veered into pretty violent territory. He had thrown a couple Yeah.

Full hair trap. Not good.

Yeah. It's like

well, you guys have seen my ankle. Yeah.

It's rotten.

What's left is yeah.

It's rotten out. I've got staff in my eyes right now. You guys can see my eye my -- What weekend?

--

my eyes are egg whites.

Good. Your eyes are egg whites. And your lashes are spinach. So I mean, as as I've seen a couple people ordering you on the backside of the menu.

Yeah. You gotta take your name to Joe Florentine.

Every time I don't even go out from ten thirty AM to one PM because people will be like, brunch. Brunch. Don't be screaming after me. I'll be like, I ain't your brooch.

Yeah. I saw I saw, you you know, five old high school friends chasing you around being like, what? It's been so long since we've gotten together in Chad and plays back.

And I was like, you don't really wanna see each other. I was screaming at him. You don't. It's not gonna be like it was. Give up. Get new friends.

Well, I think this is exciting. Listeners, if you can hear it, obviously, subtle shores is off to the races. We have a launch next week. And if you wanna be here for the big launch, we still have some standing room only tickets. They're a little close to the launch pad. So I would say be careful, maybe bring a pawn show.

Yeah. We've been calling it the splash zone. So if you want some splash zone tickets, it is they are not affordable, but they are exciting.

We plan to crash test dummies down there just to see when we did a test run, just to see how much

singed to Chris. We're gonna stand on

to it, Chris.

They can barely even play lollap, loser next week. But they're gonna make they're gonna make it.

Oh, yeah. They'll make it. Yeah. So we're trying we're throwing Allison chains down there this time around. We'll see if they could handle it a little more.

Yeah. We got them bolted down luckily so they won't fly away. Yeah. That was the big problem.

And I've heard a lot of people are are concerned that that that we're not taking safety precautions appropriately. And I'll tell I'll tell you this. It may look like that from the outside, but we, on the inside, are using every resource that are supposedly to make sure that everything's gonna be safe. We've got the pirates the pirates are now sort of pulling double duty between ferrying people out into the casino. They're also sort of working security to keep people

--

yeah.

--

back back as far as possible, but close enough to still enjoy the show.

I got a call from the Rolling Stones about that. And they said, please, remember Altamonte, do not put criminals in charge of security. And I said y'all have been irrelevant for thirty years.

We're not listening to you.

No. I'm getting no satisfaction for this phone call. I can't Your wife is a burden. And And brown sugar,

of course.

Oh, you should have seen it. I had my phone by this said, brown sugar, and I hung up aggressively. And they've been mad at me ever since I did my rolling stones rip off tour of ninety six. We could What

a tunable Yeah. It was your mouth with your tongue out, and it didn't quite look right. The logo.

No. Look. Well, because I have a I got

a tiny tongue, and so

i couldn't even get it out of my mouth. And we tried to you know, Photoshop wasn't what it is now. Right. So you can barely see the tongue. And, obviously,

i'm not You have the opposite of a Gene Simmons dung. Right?

That's right. I've gotta see him, Jimmins.

Yeah. Points upward and it's very small.

It chokes up It chokes you

when you it it chokes your own throat. It goes

down your throat. Yeah.

Yeah. It goes honestly, the tongue takes food out of my stomach. Filling it up.

Yeah. You are losing a lot of weight because of seen Germans.

Yes. Well, it's not and I was born that way. It was I've got my fantastic plastic surgeon and they said well one way you can avoid getting so much lipo is I'll give you the same Jimmons and you'll constantly, you know, it'll It's tough. Taking food out of your body. Broker got it. That's why he looks so good. You know --

mhmm.

-- everybody.

I was always Whoa. Why does he look so good?

Well, they they did wear in the world is how Roker's tongue. And it was Bora Bora they found out. Yeah. But anyway, you know a lot. Here's a a complaint I would like to address. A lot of people are saying we're so focused on the launch that the whole resort has gone to shit.

Excited well.

Yeah. And I'll Yeah. I'll say

this too. Come on.

If you try running a resort and also planning a space launch, there's just so many questions. And I got I got listen, Before people come at me and say that I haven't read the report from from the local environmental agencies about how we're forcing the wolves out of their natural habitat into the city and into our buildings and into our rooms.

Yes. Shut up. We're checking them in.

Yeah. Yeah. We're giving them a place. We're taking their place. We're taking their land, and we're finding we're relocating them. Okay?

Like I think there was some sort of fucked up thing once where if you destroyed Marshland, you have to plant it somewhere else. As if it's like a one for one Marshland thing. We are doing that is if we displace any animals, we have a place for them to stay rent free. Mhmm.

That's right.

And did you forget about the launch we have coming on next week? Sure. I would love to talk about the launch more.

Yeah. We're bringing in business.

We're bringing in business. The area. I'll say this about the wolves. We displaced them We let them in. We rented them rooms but I do not condone the wolves eating people in the place. And that is I I will. That is disgusting. And I don't condone it and I wish it it was stoppable.

Right. They act like it's raw or false -- Yes.

for inciting the wolves

--

well, I have been walking around with a long barrel shotgun with a scope on it. And I have been chasing the wolves. For some reason, they're not afraid. They're not afraid.

The wolves are in bold.

For months, we have been showing pictures of people with carry on luggage to the wolves and saying, in putting meat on those pictures and eat it. They eat them, and then all of a sudden now that they're in there eating those people with carry on luggage and with a little dolly, little gold dolly with with two wheels that turn and two that stay still. We all know that that dirty thing.

Yes. That dirtier thing.

Where you get a coin when you return it?

Yeah. The little luggage cart.

I meant a fortune off of those.

You made those. Right, Wayne?

That's right. Yeah.

Isn't the terminal about you?

Well, yeah. But mine was by choice. I was living in an airport because I was between places and I found I'm traveling so much anyway why not live in the airport? And so while I was there, I invented a ton of stuff. You know, I bet did airport sushi was me. The quarters. That's all Dwayne Croonin.

Dwayne, you are so metropolitan. When I think of you, I think jet setter, metro man, mister everybody. You were the first

one who stuck together pennies? With goo. With gooey stuff in a

cup holder.

Yeah. I was gooey cup holder man.

Aren't you aren't your crumbs increase? Your crumbs and crease.

Yeah. Well, I was seeing all these creases, and I was eating all these muffins that I was saying, this is something.

You also are the first person to do an unidentifiable stain on fabric on on upholstery. Right?

That's right. That's right. That's right.

Yeah.

But unidentifiable brown line is me.

And keyword keyword unidentifiable. Let's all remember.

A lot of people

say We don't know.

That I just go through airports being gross and when I get called out, I say it's a new invention.

You invented missing the toilet when you vomit?

Yes. That's me. Well, you know, because and then it kind of emboldens people to just, you know, if you gotta vomit, you gotta vomit. Copy cats.

Shoes off in the food court. Is that you? Shoes off in the food court?

Forget shoes on the plane?

All of the above. That's all me, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Using feet

to control using feet to control the little the little TV screen.

Well, yes. Feed to control TV screen is made.

Community TV.

Feed to control air.

Feed to receive Well, Beatrice and meal. Feed to eat meal. Feed to high five captain on the way out. Hands to deplane?

To defeat your praying captain that you have a gun.

Oh, yeah. But that's me. Nine eleven feet pranks as me.

Oh, who could forget. I mean, what a classic booth?

The world was ready to laugh. The world was ready to laugh.

It was it was nine twelve. Right?

There were yeah. Well, just barely. It was midnight.

Yeah. You were flying a red eye from from New York to Florida.

Well, yeah. And everyone's eyes were red from, I would say, laughing so much at these

it

was almost like you were fleeing New York City for some reason. I don't know what you were what was going on in here.

Well, that's right. That's right. A lot of people there's some accusations that I had just forgotten about daylight savings and was actually part of the hijacking and I was a day late And, you know, that's not true.

Well, you're really good friends with George Bush.

Best. Why were you a day late? I didn't even get him a daylight savings.

Is you? Well, you busted

on a plane almost twelve hours later trying to hijack it with your feet.

Okay. I was I was an hour late, then I slept through my alarm.

That still doesn't it's twelve hours.

Traffic.

You come have a very explainable lie with a much harder to believe lie. You could've just said you slept through it.

No. No. We're still only, like, maybe three hours at the most.

Well, I like at the airport to have a few hours to have my meal. I'll do a little I'll do a little bacon egg and cheese from McDonald's and then a little side of of uni from the sushi place.

Three hours for bigger dogs. That's fast.

Oh, yeah. You break in before they kick the make the delays. Right?

What what do you mean?

Mick Vallea Fish.

What? I'm bringing Can

you make them sushi?

Yes. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Well, I do a little hibachi on there to me fillets and the makeup and doodles sixty.

The way we're still only at, like, six hours late.

What did you hear the mule? Now it's now it's time to throw up and miss the toilet.

You have got to make a video series of this. Just how to travel, something like that.

Oh, I've been doing traveling tea tea tongs, which is right.

Team tongs.

Which is just just off. Of a it's a new social media platform. It is.

Well, I don't do TikTok. I do the American version of TikTok, which is Tingtong, and that's -- Okay. We got a lot of good videos on there and stuff and it look.

Long videos.

Yeah. Ting Tong is three hours or more.

That's so long.

Well, so are my favorite films. It's more for it's more for, I would say, cinephiles, ranker files.

Right.

Most of the files, but not the bad ones, file clerks. But but folks, what I I I we digress to say things are good here. Alright? The launch is coming up next week and that is going to be I would say what puts us on the map?

Momentous.

It's -- Hundred percent. --

really big. I won't even be in the Earth anymore. Thank you, Skip, very much. Congratulations.

Yes. We will be watching from afar as our heroes go up to the moon to get high and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Oh, and you know what's happening as soon as I enter orbit. I'm pressing that hand, baby. I'm putting my butt cheek on the glass. And showing people, you can still goof around in space. Man, life isn't so serious, man.

You guys are gonna sleep through an eight AM, English eleven o one?

Absolutely. That's the way to live. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, we're signing up right now. If everybody wants to do this, sign up for your college course right now and skip the first day with us as we enter orbit.

Now And you're also Yeah. So you're gonna also go buy a bunch of beer at a a local convenience store before you go and sneak it on there in a suitcase. Yeah. As if as if you just are bringing more clothes into

your Absolutely. And we're bringing lots of vitamin waters

--

--

oh.

and gatorades.

And one of you guys

is gonna clear in food coloring, folks.

Exactly. Is is one of you guys gonna get a dog you're not prepared to take care of? And leave it in your room?

Well, we're no. We already got the dog. We're just not sure who's gonna walk them. When we're up there, we're not sure how that's handled. We don't know if the dog is gonna have a helmet that seals, but we're gonna figure it out when we get up there. We want to get dog.

Sydney. It sounds to me like you've been planning this for how because you just found out you were going to space, and I'm just playing out about

i'm shocked.

Okay.

I'm shocked. It feels like

a lot of plans. You are awesome. I always knew that you would follow through skip. I always knew that you would follow through and go to space. But, you know, as soon as I found out that your son might wanna go and that you might not wanna be with him, I made some plans. Yeah, I'll admit.

you've got

Okay. I can't fault you.

I'll say this. I think I don't wanna get dark, but I think we should take a quick break. And then afterwards, I do wanna make sure that you have fairs in order because space can be scary and maybe Yeah.

I could shy up there.

We should talk about that, you know. I know that we've all been working on our said to say but our wills just in case something happens at this launch. So maybe we could talk through some of those after the break and just make sure we have it all on record.

That's good.

Yeah. Because a lot of people are saying that this launch could could catastrophically fail and result in an explosion because multiple SpaceX rockets have exploded. So it is it's not gonna happen, but we should be prepared we should be prepared if if it if something were to be were to go wrong. Jeez.

Yeah. Well, let's take a let's take a somber break preparation.

Take a somber break now that we think I might die.

That's right. The song was all made using energy. Human energy, which is the most magnificent thing of all.

Would you like to learn how to access your energy? Then come down to the nexus energy healer shop, where you can access energy, get Chotchkes, see a non Western medicine doctor, find a cool hat and, of course, other stuff.

Two two.

Yeah. I stopped in here off side of freeway and I tell you what, I had diarrhea something fierce. I ate one of these crystals and I was I was plugged up for the rest of my ride. This shit works.

That's right. Our crystals don't only heal energy, but they can also act as a sort of stopper to cold.

I I

stopped by the shop, and I was having a pretty rough day, not feeling myself, had a little bit of a, you could say, depression. I ate one of those crystals, and all of a sudden, the diarrhea that I also had stopped

whoa. Believe it or not? We can't technically say that it cures depression But it looks like diet were two for two on die die. How about that? Come on in and buy our crystals. Eat them. Put them on your pocket. Or inside your pocket like this.

I was having a little bit of trouble in my relationship. I stopped by the Nexus Energy healer shop and I got diarrhea. I ate a churro, that they were selling there, and they gave me diarrhea. But luckily they were able to feed me a big crystal and I was plugged up immediately. Thanks, nexus.

Okay. This sucks. I'm sure there's somebody that's coming to our shop that hasn't either gotten diarrhea from us or only used our stuff to stop their diarrhea. By the way, our churros are fine. Okay? Our churros are fine. Eat our churros like this customer here.

I stopped by the shop and I had a churro, and I've always been someone who had a incredible gastrointestinal system. So Okay.

So now we're not even hearing this one all the way through. We all we all know where that's going. We're not listening to these people here. This is we'll do this. So what you what think you can get at our energy healer shop? Is a photo of nature to put in your car and look at while you're driving.

I stopped by and I got an awesome photo of nature. From the Nexus Energy healer shop, and it really looked perfect on my refrigerator at home. Oh, my God. Do do do do do do do

it sounds like that person someone ran over their toe. Not like they got diarrhea in the middle of their testimonial for eating one of our sure. Well, nexus energy healers. Sounds to me, like, a pretty good place to go whether or not you have

oh, god. I have diarrhea. Can you help me

i'm not here. Get hot. Oh, it's spraying.

It's spraying.

Oh my god.

I'm sleeping on this. It put out my house fire. Yay. Thank you, Nextus Energy healer. Thank you.

Oh, ma'am, we fixed your house. We put it out the fire. It was it was it was such a good time Oh oh my god. Oh, no. I'm a firefighter. I'm a firefighter and now, like, I'm good to Okay.

Oh my god, honey. Which one's the hose? Which one? Help us, nexus. Which one's the house?

Okay. So those are a couple examples that don't sound so good. But I'll have you know that the hose ended up being the one spraying water. Mexis Energy healers, off exit forty two.

Oh, hey. Sorry, guys. Hey. Sorry. We're back. We're back. We're back, folks. Thanks so much for

we're back. Just doing a little bit of

that's a good one.

Look crew center.

It will chase

center inprov. Yeah.

Thanks so much for sticking it out through the break, folks. As we said before we went to the break, we're gonna take a moment here to you know, in in light of upcoming events, making sure that we are sort of prepared for the worst, while prepared for the best. Is that the same? I don't think that's the same, but You know what I'm trying

to say?

We wanted to just make sure that we had our sort of affairs in order should anything go wrong. We obviously don't expect anything to go wrong, but, you know, you you were only in control of so much.

You wanna list my affairs in order? Uh-oh. Well, long list. What were you saying?

No. I really I

just started with miss Henderson.

It's gotta be missus Henderson number one.

Well, now first thing at first one was my teddy bear. Who I had an affair with.

Well, you were cheating you were cheating on your stuffed alligator. Right?

That's right. I wanted something a little softer, a little more comforting, you know.

Right. I'm sorry Scott Skip. I think I was confused.

Yeah. No. It's a it's a common phrase to talk about your last will and testament to to sort of let everybody know where they want where you want all of your belongings to go how you'd like to die or how now you'd like to die. How you'd like to be remembered in

oh, all in that tool. Hang on here.

Well, that's not supposed to be

in there. Hold on.

This should put all of our guests in a in a peaceful state knowing that we've thought this stuff through.

we've thought

We've thought

Yes. Dealing with some professional thoughtful guys.

about it.

Yeah. And in case somebody wants to throw up a fraudulent will

-- That's right. --

known to happen. This is especially the horse's mouth.

That's right. These are legally binding. And you know, when you are when you book online to stay at last resort obviously you give your credit card information, what kind of room you'd like But you you submit your own last will and testament just in case anything goes right here. We found that it's helpful to have that.

And we have a file form where we just ask you questions if you'd like, or you could blown your own document.

Yeah. We build we can build your own will

--

yeah. -- down in the lobby, put it together yourself, we make it fun for families,

the builder wheel is really nice, you know. We because there's some laps in there, you can throw some sprinkles on there if you'd like.

And it's a good

time for the kids to learn and their parents are gonna die on vacation. That's true.

Exactly. Wow. It's fun. Yeah.

The best feeling they'll ever have, you know, temperate with a little bit of realistic expectations about the future. The way I've already lived.

me go ahead and share a bit of this honesty with our lovely audience and future guests. Right?

Well, let

Yeah. Let's read And it would anyone like to go first or, you know, I can

i I could go?

Oh, alright. Okay. Go for it, Joe.

I'll go ahead and I'll go ahead and get it started here.

This is the end.

Thank you. The end. Bye. Randy and nice doors song by Dwayne over there.

Yes. I really lead into the father I'm going kill you part when I do that song live.

Alright. So here it goes. I drop cloth can't believe it happened. I never thought, I like to start my will out. It's not just a list. Of me giving things away. It's just letting everybody know. It's kind of flowery.

Oh, it's nice.

I dropped golf can't believe it happened. I never thought this day would come, but I guess I croaked. I don't believe I'm gonna die, just so everybody knows, I don't believe it. So, I bequeathed And I love using that word. My entire fortune to the Ford Motor Company I would like my ashes spread. All over the showroom of a shanty dealership. At peak hours. I fucking hate Chevy. It's been so great, man. I want a bad church at Chevy. And then for those of you who don't know, that means I want it at peak buying. We're talking when they're

church fact.

--

deal. So Yeah. Pack. Church is packed. I want a packed church at Chevy. I want my burn ass, my burn ass ashes, to fall on all of those people's heads. So don't just sprinkle it. Throw it up. Throw it up.

We will. Will, Joe.

As far as my friends, thank you for everything. And to Linda, thank you for all the wonderful dinners. And decent permits, allowing me to pursue my dreams for the last few months. I can't remember my life further back than that.

And I

think since this is legally binding, we should say, I think it's Debbie, not Linda. Yeah. It

is Debbie. Well, see,

i Unless there's

i thought I could remember I thought I could remember that far back, but turns out I can't even remember that far back. So to everyone else, thank you. Or I'm sorry. Mighty Joe Young out.

Wow, Joe. That was beautiful.

Move. That is beautiful. That's beautiful.

Well, and Yeah. A man who loves his cars, he loves as American cars, but only from one company. That's really beautiful.

That's gorgeous.

Yes. Thank you so Thank you. Wow.

Wow. Well, you know, that kind of inspired me if I'm being honest. I mean,

do

you guys even wanna hear mine? I know we think I'm not gonna die. Oh my god. Yes. Of course. Going to space

of course.

Thank you, guys. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure.

god. How could you say that?

Oh my

Well, I know we're all sure. I'm gonna come back from space, and I and I'm positive we're we're just, you know

oh, my god. Stop.

I'm sorry. Price.

I'm sorry. I sometimes I feel like I don't know. I'm not important.

Do not put yourself down. Thank you, Joe. That's right.

Thank you, Joe. Not in front of me. Okay. Here we go. Me me me me me me me me. Good. In the event of my sad and untimely death, I Sydney Powell, being of sound mind and supple body, hereby bequeathed, of course, let's say

in that word, Second Bequeath?

The following of my belongings. To my friend Joey, drop cloth young, hereby known as doctor. I leave my hair, my eyes, eyebrows, nose, lower lip. Yes. To my crooning compadre, Dwayne Neumann. I leave my feet, my knees, and my tummy. And to my brother, Scott Skip, Powell. I leave my fingers, my upper lip, and pee pee. Here are two fourth known as peep.

I leave my peep. Blessy.

Thank you. God bless me. And god blessed the United States of America. Stay thirsty, my friends. Stay thirsty.