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mini-05
Smoke Weed Every Deed

The guys reveal the truth about aliens, discuss Todd's play and discover the Illumithotty.

0:00:01
spk_1
 

Welcome back. Yeah, The boys are back in a way, guys. Way down is my way. You don't like waking up to a loud song?

0:00:28
spk_3
 

Well, guess what. Wake up.

0:00:30
spk_0
 

Bake up D C

0:00:34
spk_2
 

Make up D. C is how we're going to start the episodes.

0:00:37
spk_1
 

Yeah, yeah, Pick up D C. It's the teachers the I think a

0:00:45
spk_3
 

good morning. Set that oven to 4 50 Mix together flour, eggs, water, sugar

0:00:54
spk_0
 

and smells that way.

0:00:57
spk_3
 

Pick up D C.

0:00:59
spk_0
 

Get baked. The weed lobby is big right now and they are plugging up my coffers Smoke weed every deed.

0:01:09
spk_3
 

That's right, Sam, Sam, Weather and real quick. This is the teachers lines used to the first personally, but I guess the issue per day. They have a community, but now we are in Washington, D. C. And we are all changing the world. Sam Weatherman, top lobbyists,

0:01:25
spk_0
 

top lobbyist, Big money in politics, man working for Burger, Burger, taco and also

0:01:32
spk_1
 

King Cannabis. Yeah, you're taking on a lot. There's like eso kind of like the minds behind McDonald's, Burger King and Taco Bell. Let's not forget about the lobby lobby, the lobby lobby, bigger lobbies and hotels

0:01:48
spk_0
 

That's what we want. And the lobby lobby is mixing up with Burger Burger Taco for bigger lobbies. In all, those restaurants were trying to less indoor seating, bigger lobbies. Four partying

0:01:58
spk_2
 

Lobby it typically in a fast food restaurant. It's just a sort of four foot by five foot square, but a double doors disgrace Marv Avesta Buell than it is investable.

0:02:09
spk_0
 

That's what the lobby lobbyist saying. We need to be paid to put a lobby in every building. When will I be in your house?

0:02:15
spk_1
 

Well, there does need to be a transition from outside to inside, agrees. And I think, you know, if you do just walk right into a building, it can be jarring. As

0:02:24
spk_0
 

soon as you walk into any building the doorbell, shedding a weed joint goes in your mouth. Burger goes in your hand and you have a wild to be in that room before you get into the next type of room.

0:02:36
spk_2
 

A while.

0:02:36
spk_1
 

Wow, lobby wire. So you're thinking before every time you go to building, there needs to be like kind of like a Amsterdam style smoke shop.

0:02:47
spk_0
 

There's no shop. The the bellman of the lobby hands you a joint. It is also about There's a bellman of the lobby and every bill

0:02:54
spk_2
 

and we're talking every single building,

0:02:56
spk_0
 

this reconstruction. This is classic jobs for America here, right? This is part way. Need a chef in every home? Yeah, We need a a bellman and every home. We need a joint roller in every home. This is three jobs per building in America. Yeah, And where these air hamburger homes.

0:03:12
spk_2
 

And this is all part of the new thing. This is all part of the new legislation that you're working to lobby for the big deal.

0:03:18
spk_0
 

The big deal. This is murder Burger, Taco King, cannabis and lobby lobby. Altogether as the big deal. Are you

0:03:25
spk_1
 

having a breakdown? He screamed that out the window. No,

0:03:32
spk_0
 

I saw someone eating a full

0:03:34
spk_1
 

awful. No, you seem on just

0:03:41
spk_2
 

sweating, my friend.

0:03:42
spk_0
 

Thank you. I'm running high on cash and burger. I don't know that.

0:03:47
spk_3
 

You just left that much last night. You paced back and forth. I know all night because you were walking on my body, so I was trying to sleep.

0:03:55
spk_0
 

That was your body? Yes. I thought I was walking on one of those massagers One of the walking I want to be walking up. I know usually you sit down and you rub your foot on the massager, but I really needed all my weight

0:04:09
spk_3
 

on the foot. I love feed as much as the next Tarantino, but I tried to sleep. It's like, Let me let me appreciate I

0:04:21
spk_0
 

will. And if you would have told me during the process, I absolutely wouldn't stop, I couldn't. I could barely breathe. Now I know that. I mean, the

0:04:28
spk_1
 

good thing is, when you do walk on Todd, it's It's there are, like rolling balls around like there's loose shit. Any other skin?

0:04:37
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah, that's right. I mean, if you want If you pop on N B a game, you could see Steph Curry role in this feet around on me when he's taking a load off, put pushing around this player,

0:04:47
spk_1
 

been getting hired by CEOs of high powered companies to come in, lay down on the floor,

0:04:52
spk_2
 

they walker human fashionable.

0:04:53
spk_0
 

Let's just say that Todd is a lot more of a hard shell than he is a bun.

0:05:01
spk_1
 

Okay, so that was three things in one right there. Quickly, maybe You're not crazy. Yeah,

0:05:08
spk_2
 

I think you're pretty good.

0:05:09
spk_0
 

I'm dialed in. Baby does feel similar to, um let's not talk about while you're on the same guys before. So I'm acting singles, like, similar to cowboy baseball spot. Oh, this is on purpose. That was taking other people's suggestions because I thought I wasn't good enough. I've learned I'm the best because I get the money and I take it from these people Burger, burger, talk a lobby king Cannabis. The big deal.

0:05:38
spk_2
 

Now, I'll say this. I probably would have been upset that you were up all night pacing around if I wasn't up all night as well. You guys know, ever since my second book was born, I have not been able to get a single night's sleep.

0:05:53
spk_1
 

You've been going on podcasts talking about how hard it is to raise a book. You

0:06:00
spk_2
 

in the hosts? Well, I did Rogan last week. Yeah, you went on deck. Shepherds Podcast, armchair expert swap story. Talking about how he him becoming a new father was the hardest time in his life. And I said, Boy, I am with you. Yeah. Oh, my God. Even though you're raising yes, look, I mean, but to get up at 3 30 in the morning changed the cover. And then and then, uh, trying, trying to get it to go back to sleep. It's impossible. Once, once it's up,

0:06:30
spk_1
 

it's up.

0:06:31
spk_3
 

I don't know if you can feel the tension in here, but Howard's been mad at me because I took it upon myself to spank his book last week because I was acting out and it's like it takes a village. If he's not going to discipline this motherfucker, I

0:06:45
spk_0
 

just you know, Howard, it takes a village that Where are we on

0:06:48
spk_2
 

spanking our bucks? Well, pro, I I think that time and time plays right, but has to be coming from a person or a place of love. It can't be so aggressive and so obviously recreational.

0:07:00
spk_0
 

Well, then I have to apologize the other day for what I washed your books pages out with, So yeah, but I know they are filthy, filthy. I mean, some of the words on these pages were filthy.

0:07:10
spk_2
 

Yeah. Yeah. Well,

0:07:11
spk_3
 

did you did you guys pick a name for the second book? Better. Is it still just baby book?

0:07:16
spk_2
 

We're gonna Wait.

0:07:17
spk_0
 

Can I suggest Taco?

0:07:18
spk_2
 

Huh? I'm not gonna name my book. Taco has nothing to do with Taco.

0:07:21
spk_0
 

Okay, Okay. What about both?

0:07:23
spk_3
 

That's a That's a pretty good segue. White introduced myself. Taco Padre here on the podcast. That's

0:07:28
spk_2
 

right. Notice. You're wearing a really nice suit. Todo

0:07:31
spk_1
 

taking a payment. I don't understand. What? This advertisement. My

0:07:37
spk_3
 

name is Taco. Double bacon. Cheeseburger with cheese, padre.

0:07:43
spk_2
 

And then I see this. It's his bahng. Sound is also part of your name.

0:07:49
spk_0
 

Smoke weed every deed.

0:07:51
spk_1
 

Oh, yeah. There's also something about the house deeds. Do 1/2. Every

0:07:56
spk_0
 

time you buy a hamburger house, you've got to smoke weed to sign the deed. This is this is the big deal. Okay, We're chomping on not only Viacom's heels for biggest corporation in America, but also on the American

0:08:13
spk_3
 

government's heels. Our biggest deals. Will you guys just put out the big announcement? Taco, Taco, burger, tv, Uh, and you announce that you had a big announcement? Some of your new shows that you Bronson's

0:08:24
spk_2
 

getting a new show

0:08:25
spk_3
 

action. Bronson is getting a show on there. That should be Ah, the same loose, loose.

0:08:30
spk_1
 

It's got exactly the same as all the

0:08:33
spk_0
 

holy shit. Weed is cool. Taco, Taco Burger.

0:08:35
spk_1
 

Yeah. You guys are doing some pretty on the ground

0:08:39
spk_2
 

reporting in the Middle East. Yep, Pretty on the ground you're not exactly on.

0:08:46
spk_0
 

Well, then you're pretty much Yeah, it's hovercraft. It's ever craft. So we're three inches off the ground the whole

0:08:51
spk_3
 

time. You've got some journalism students going going through the Middle East on hovercraft, interviewing Syrians about be about their struggles.

0:08:59
spk_0
 

That's right. We're calling it jerky journalism, jerky

0:09:03
spk_3
 

cover crops of jerking around,

0:09:04
spk_0
 

jerking around. And also there's a little bit of comedy and I place the jerky boys were there. Some of them are really interviews, and some of them are prank.

0:09:14
spk_3
 

Oh, I think I got a few form calls from them.

0:09:17
spk_1
 

It's so loud when you pick up is there on a hovercraft

0:09:20
spk_0
 

smoke weed every day. I'll tell you what, guys. I'm living the American lifestyle, and I am loving it. We America's all about cash development, the economy, developers, developers, developers. So you're pacing

0:09:35
spk_3
 

around and clapping here also, you got really sweaty over sudden.

0:09:38
spk_0
 

Whoa, I don't know. Just being on the right side of America the money side is really getting me pumped up,

0:09:43
spk_1
 

Larry in Just tidy whiteys in the thinnest, smallest, lightest gold chain I've ever seen. That's right.

0:09:52
spk_0
 

That's right. Hey, when you're high powered, you don't have to show with all these fake clothes. No, you know, you know, way are

0:09:59
spk_1
 

find in here. Yeah, this is weighing on us. That's right.

0:10:03
spk_3
 

And if you Yes, Bill, how's everything going with you?

0:10:07
spk_1
 

It's very good. I mean, still reaping the benefits of being Thurgood Cravy is grandson. I'm getting invited around to a lot of things here in D. C. I'm actually seeing a lot of, you know, the underbelly sort of D C. There is sort of an Illuminati esque. Um,

0:10:27
spk_3
 

So what? Some of the conspiracy theories were right. There is

0:10:30
spk_1
 

a growing out, but I'm seeing some stuff that I cannot unsee. Wow. Yes, Yes, yes, yes, yes. There are aliens. Your perspective is totally changed. I mean, you guys saw how white I was last night when I got back to the van. Just how blown

0:10:51
spk_3
 

back looked like you had seen a ghost. But it sounds like your son and

0:10:54
spk_1
 

I've seen the alien

0:10:56
spk_2
 

out when you win now they have is in it for me. This leads me. Hit them or hit them? No. Yeah, well, we hid them from from America, but we did have hit them because I've always

0:11:10
spk_1
 

had to beat him back. They were trying to go on TV to show themselves. Are you kidding me? I know.

0:11:18
spk_2
 

And they And how did you get involved in that sort of vision?

0:11:21
spk_1
 

I hate to say this, but one of them did make it to TV. Luckily, and everybody knows him. Everyone knows this alien. We our made

0:11:32
spk_3
 

it. Someone we all know.

0:11:34
spk_2
 

Is it Roker?

0:11:35
spk_1
 

That's a great guest. Very good guess. Yes. Brokers and alien that gets up so early in the morning for your show. What? You don't know? All of aliens are fantastic, Weatherman. They're very good there. A depth to it. They know what they're doing. I'm gonna tell you this right now. All weatherman or aliens can tell you this Doppler, Is there a planet? Are you kidding? That's the big trail.

0:12:07
spk_0
 

So there's aliens from the planet Doppler here. And you're only aware of this because you're now plugged into the alumina?

0:12:12
spk_1
 

I know it now.

0:12:13
spk_3
 

And they all come here to tell us maybe what the weather is gonna be like.

0:12:18
spk_1
 

They can't get to dead on or we'll know their their supernatural.

0:12:22
spk_2
 

I mean, are you scared? You've now sort of voiced one of the biggest kept secrets in.

0:12:30
spk_1
 

Yeah, I don't like having this knowledge. I gotta be

0:12:33
spk_0
 

honest. It doesn't really make sense that these societies air so secret. I mean, if that's the big secret, that alien, there's no

0:12:40
spk_1
 

way I'm fine with increasing King Rocca's the King. He's the because he was able to be a weatherman, but also be a personality. Okay, he hosts. You mean you know how good he hosted the Thanksgiving Day parade? Yeah. And every night, I think he knew what Blue was coming. And he always around the corner and just around the corner. Well,

0:13:02
spk_3
 

the problem was every other host that they've had for that just had Teoh with five or six seconds before the game.

0:13:12
spk_0
 

He's going No, no. Now it's not coming to me via SP Aiken. See

0:13:16
spk_1
 

around the corner kick tape. He slips up early on in the first Thanksgiving Day parade, and he goes, and as you know Santa will be last and everybody goes What? Noah, They cut to commercial break Lipitor, Lipitor lipped or back. They've got him under control. So

0:13:36
spk_3
 

they loaded him up with Lipitor's.

0:13:39
spk_0
 

That is a big secret.

0:13:41
spk_3
 

I was keeping it secret, because me, you know, I've always been a religious guy. And this challenges

0:13:49
spk_1
 

only when you're Dan. Dad had been averaging.

0:13:53
spk_3
 

Yeah, but even though I'm a spiritually guy, you see, in the way I treat people the way I I behave like a I want to say

0:14:04
spk_1
 

like like one of the bad people from the scriptures. Not what this country is teaching you like this by filing

0:14:12
spk_0
 

clear that you have a spirit.

0:14:13
spk_3
 

Barely by just. Saul, you know, you look OK. Ok, so I've left a few dinners and killed the host, but that doesn't make me some sort of biblical villain. That's

0:14:31
spk_0
 

literally a big story from the Bible. Remember when? Okay,

0:14:35
spk_3
 

so I blew up a whole city of Saada misers. Israeli fact eso I killed my twin brother because God liked him or

0:14:46
spk_1
 

yeah, it doesn't mean resourced yourself down a whale's throat that wasn't exploded in the middle of a Seaworld through the valley.

0:14:57
spk_3
 

I don't look, you know, but I The point is, I'm spiritually at the end of the day on this news that there's aliens, challenges a lot of my beliefs. And what do I believe immediately? Looking inward? Well, no, I'm saying I I'm saying how could everyone else have been so wrong? You know what I mean? Uh, yeah. So I get why they're keeping it. Uh,

0:15:19
spk_1
 

yeah, because I my faith is now shattered. And I'm wondering what else is true, even though this is not what anyone was suspecting or thought was Maybe

0:15:30
spk_0
 

just thought the secret Society was sort of running things with money whenever they just know that

0:15:35
spk_2
 

I'm scared for you, Bill, if I'm being honest, like, this is one of those things that in a movie, when a guy finds out any sort of government secret that

0:15:43
spk_3
 

can have sex with three beautiful women,

0:15:45
spk_2
 

no close being a being a target. And we have spent so long being a target. I am so sick of running. All right. Fake emotion. I am sick of running.

0:16:00
spk_3
 

You think were the targets

0:16:01
spk_2
 

where the targets us? I think white men.

0:16:05
spk_3
 

Oh, here we go. I'm

0:16:07
spk_0
 

not doors. You were the target. Of course.

0:16:11
spk_2
 

It's scary to me, Bill is all I'm saying. I have this information and we all have to ride around in a

0:16:16
spk_1
 

van with you. Yeah. I mean, I can't look at any weatherman the same ever again. What about me? Well, I don't know if that's why I said that that is your last name, but that's crazy that it's your last name. And it's also a big thing for me.

0:16:32
spk_3
 

Then I trust you, Sam. Are you an alien? Of course, Nat. I'm a

0:16:36
spk_2
 

lobbyist. I just I guys, I gotta go. Then we can trust you. Yeah, I just got to be honest with me. If it was just the four

0:16:44
spk_1
 

of us. Yes, I think you should be yourself. Don't tell me what you really think. If it was, if it was

0:16:51
spk_2
 

just the four of us in this man, I would not be scared at all. Okay, But we have to think about this. I have a couple week old book that I have to look after.

0:17:03
spk_0
 

And what's this one called? Comically saying

0:17:05
spk_2
 

we haven't named it yet. Oh, okay. Oh, God. Don't get me started on incredibly sane. Uh, he's gone off the deep end

0:17:11
spk_1
 

because you have been looking for publishers slash kindergartens

0:17:15
spk_2
 

for your buck. Yeah, I don't want to just trust anybody with this book. I mean this This this this book is half me.

0:17:21
spk_0
 

Can I say I saw? This is hard to say. I saw incredibly saying the other day, hanging out with some of his friends

0:17:28
spk_2
 

know, behind the supermarket. Are you kidding me? Was it a told it? Was it a toll story? I was

0:17:34
spk_0
 

hanging out with a toll story. He had different colored pages, and they were.

0:17:38
spk_3
 

It's worse, though. They were smoking. What were they smoking? They were smoking a rolled up cigarette, which is bad for Sam because it wasn't

0:17:50
spk_0
 

King can smoke weed every D smoking.

0:17:55
spk_2
 

Are you serious? Incredibly. Saying is getting into cigarettes

0:17:58
spk_3
 

well, and he's very annoying to be around because he's hanging out with these philosophy books. Now he's hanging out with need cheap books. He's going with Bukowski books. Don't

0:18:07
spk_2
 

tell me he's hanging out with the art

0:18:08
spk_3
 

of war. Yes. Oh my God! On the War of Art, he keeps telling me how to organize my artistic and creative life on how to overcome. Uh, what's it called? I don't remember the word theme thing that holds us back. Remember, this is it doesn't exist.

0:18:31
spk_0
 

I really looks

0:18:33
spk_2
 

annoying. No, Come on. Okay. This new baby that we're

0:18:37
spk_3
 

gonna spank your team. Don't

0:18:38
spk_2
 

you dare. Don't

0:18:39
spk_1
 

telling me how much this book has changed your life, But it had Look

0:18:44
spk_2
 

at me. Look at me. I'm glowing. Your book is your best

0:18:46
spk_1
 

Forget may I'm a high school. I know too much. She

0:18:51
spk_0
 

now Todd has your play going because last time it sounded good

0:18:55
spk_3
 

sewing out, sowing out presented by the hair dye P. Well, it

0:19:01
spk_1
 

seems like you ran out of clean diapers, by the way. Seem to be easier to find than dirties.

0:19:08
spk_3
 

I If you're saying that Oh, you talk about my hat. You think my hat looks a little dirty again? Your cat? Yeah, Well, no, I didn't run out, but unfortunately, we were met with some pretty bad reviews. Um, so we we closed pretty quick, and I think the problem is I sold out. I got away from politics. You know what I mean. I sold

0:19:28
spk_1
 

you were doing. Ah, since you have you At one point, you tried to get in a car and do karaoke E.

0:19:34
spk_3
 

Yeah. So the whole show was It was me There in karaoke. Ah, in a car with different Let's say B list celebrity, Right. Uh, you

0:19:45
spk_1
 

also had it. You did carpool karaoke.

0:19:48
spk_3
 

Eso that. And that's where I thought it got better is we did this carpal karate where I would get in the car and I would be driving, But I would fight some of the world's top teenage karate man.

0:20:00
spk_1
 

Yeah, I saw butter beans, son Lima bean kick you out of your lane. Land Rover?

0:20:08
spk_2
 

Yeah, Yeah,

0:20:09
spk_3
 

he would. My frickin, But, um, So then I was like, OK, carpool carried eating. This is fine. It's a lot safer. So I would get a bunch of celebrities. We don't eat carrots together.

0:20:22
spk_2
 

Yeah, I'll say after that. When you did carpool care, Dean, I was like, Whoa, no, no corpse needed to be,

0:20:30
spk_0
 

But he really brought it back with carpool karaoke talk,

0:20:33
spk_3
 

which was huge. People love carpool, carrot top, all the props, his buff body, his face is normal.

0:20:41
spk_0
 

Vegas crowd really tuned in

0:20:42
spk_3
 

the Vegas cut tuned in and we did it. We did a pretty good job on DSO that I said, Let's go out on top Hashtag on Cara Todd hash tag And now I'm trying to get back to political theater s. So I'm doing a play where I am doing it Every week is different, and it's a send up of the just all of these people trying to run for election every week is different. And it's all me playing characters of everybody that's trying to run

0:21:11
spk_0
 

and they're eating big hamburgers, big tacos, big doings.

0:21:15
spk_3
 

Yeah, A. To the through line of the play is every character loves a big hamburger. Big taco, big during

0:21:22
spk_2
 

and symbolic in some way of them. Sort of like

0:21:25
spk_0
 

just American culture. The thing that is like Podd Todd, your behind Bob.

0:21:30
spk_3
 

Look, Taco, Taco, Double bacon Cheeseburger. Podd Tadre presents the 2020 election Taco, Taco, burger, smoke weed every day is not

0:21:45
spk_1
 

I tossed. Indeed. Yeah, I don't know about you were right. Listen happening. I like

0:21:52
spk_0
 

what smart. Okay, this is smart. They're trying to get it into the culture that every time you sign indeed, you celebrate with the we often do people signed deep. Well, hopefully a lot more often. Once the economy starts coming

0:22:06
spk_2
 

back. Never once signed a deed.

0:22:08
spk_1
 

Well, yeah, It shows people do it maybe twice in their life in the goddamn dad.

0:22:14
spk_3
 

But that's what you guys have been doing is you guys are putting credit default swaps to shame you guys were given anyone alone, right?

0:22:22
spk_0
 

We're going Deeds for weeds. If you give us a joint, will give you a deed to a house, and

0:22:27
spk_3
 

then you give them a drive for signing. Teoh, be honest. Bagis is brilliant. Your own joint and you get a deed.

0:22:34
spk_0
 

Your daisies, once you sign that, did you have to pay?

0:22:41
spk_1
 

Subdivisions are popping up like crazy. Also, most of the people on the ends of these deeds air potheads. Yeah,

0:22:50
spk_0
 

I shot out two big burger.

0:22:54
spk_1
 

What, like a big Angus thes Angus involved

0:22:58
spk_0
 

Angus? Yes. Black Angus is now in the payroll. So what about that burger Taco? Angus, hold

0:23:07
spk_1
 

a special beef. That's like super expensive wag Obi

0:23:12
spk_0
 

Wagyu and Kobe. Those were both LeBron me, bromby. We couldn't get wagyu Kobe, but we got LeBron beef yellow brown beef and LeBron Beef is signing on $90 million. And what about that poultry? Larry Bird? Larry Bird is also in the is also joining were becoming a huge mega here on.

0:23:34
spk_1
 

But I will say I do not like the Steph Curry. Not a girl

0:23:40
spk_3
 

too spicy for you.

0:23:41
spk_0
 

Well, we're trying to branch out to other, you know, we're trying to branch out to other, you know, other other types of folks. Other consumers, right? Yeah,

0:23:49
spk_2
 

well, I Todd, not not to bring this back to you and come down on your anything. But I have never been one to think that you had much artistic integrity, but this feels like

0:23:59
spk_1
 

Oh, fuck you very much, my friend. Todd, This finger thing

0:24:06
spk_3
 

you've been doing for your the whole 35 years of your existence,

0:24:09
spk_2
 

Todd Husband, You're way older than 40. I'm just

0:24:14
spk_0
 

short by about five highlighters. Todd,

0:24:16
spk_2
 

I feel like this is sort of taking any shred of credibility you had. It is an artist and just lighten it up.

0:24:22
spk_3
 

Are you could name some of your favorite shows. They were all

0:24:27
spk_2
 

No, they were not.

0:24:28
spk_3
 

Okay, Well, I'll just have a few months. Budweiser frogs.

0:24:31
spk_0
 

That's not a show. They're aliens. What about what About what about Burger friends?

0:24:37
spk_2
 

I have never heard of it.

0:24:38
spk_3
 

You didn't. You didn't see burger friends at upfronts. Know what? New shot? It's a new show coming out from Burger Burger. Taco. It's, uh,

0:24:47
spk_0
 

Nazi Taco Seinfeld.

0:24:48
spk_1
 

Here's what I will say about burger friends. Not much diversity in that show. Yeah,

0:24:52
spk_0
 

well, yeah. Sorry. They all like burgers. I get it, get it? We could speak to other food types, but this is all American TV Show way burgers here. That's what we dio Italian. They got a past. All right, Right. Burgers, America.

0:25:09
spk_2
 

Yeah, It's just frustrating. It feels to me like you started this season, you were at least trying to be creative with. Who's the clowns now? You are. You are essentially just giving your stage over to to become one long ad.

0:25:22
spk_3
 

Well, I'm sorry, but I have 28 years of back alimony to pay. Okay? I have people I need to think about. It's not just about me, okay? And I'm never gonna pay that alimony period air. I've got this whole, You know that Dave Foley. Sad story. get go back to Canada because he had a messy divorce and all the money he has His wife is based on what he's making for news radio. So now he does stand up it indie theaters around Los Angeles for free. Well, I have a similar thing, except I'm in the wrong here. I'm 100%. I'm not gonna pay because my daughter won't talk to me. You don't talk to me. You don't get my money.

0:26:08
spk_2
 

Alimony isn't about the child.

0:26:11
spk_3
 

Who is it for?

0:26:11
spk_2
 

It's for the spouse.

0:26:13
spk_3
 

Well, even worse. She divorced May. Well, whatever to pay her to divorce me. What a fucking raw deal that

0:26:19
spk_2
 

is. I think you got it. You gotta ease off on that, Todd. Seriously, And maybe think about you know you can You can do this sort of money making thing, but I don't think you should lose sight of your to artistic. So I

0:26:30
spk_3
 

didn't want to say this. Here's what I need the money and I'm sick and I don't have health care.

0:26:35
spk_2
 

You're not sick again, Todd.

0:26:37
spk_3
 

No, I'm sick and it's worse,

0:26:39
spk_0
 

but it's serious. You know, it's been 40 years that you've been

0:26:43
spk_3
 

sick. Not in the head. I'm ill.

0:26:47
spk_2
 

What do you have? I'm dying. Of what? Oh, my God, you're not. You're

0:26:51
spk_3
 

dying of tuberculosis. I'm dying home. One of the most delicious diseases could possibly My God, I have You

0:27:01
spk_0
 

have tuberculosis, Todd, that Let me ease your pain. Here, smoke this. I smoke weed every day.

0:27:09
spk_3
 

The only thing that makes me feel better is legally paid for medicinal marijuana. I think he is. Burgers and tacos

0:27:24
spk_0
 

and the dog on Todd. You tell me the doctor prescribed you this. Todd? Yes.

0:27:29
spk_2
 

Why, Doctor, did you go to that prescribe you that

0:27:31
spk_3
 

Dr Tortilla? Yeah. This guy's a hard ass,

0:27:35
spk_2
 

you know, Everybody hard. Everybody. You guys in The doctor

0:27:38
spk_0
 

trying to say is a hard exterior

0:27:40
spk_3
 

shows hard exterior

0:27:41
spk_2
 

Every every person I know has gone into Dr. Tortilla has come out with a medical license.

0:27:45
spk_3
 

I don't know what to tell you. Look, I went into Dr Tortilla. I got diagnosed with tuberculosis at the lecture is burgers, tacos. We in the house

0:27:59
spk_2
 

house is part of the cure.

0:28:01
spk_0
 

And that's good for the economy. Because as soon as you get those things, you'll be employed.

0:28:05
spk_2
 

I really like tuberculosis is a fake disease made up by two Burger Burger,

0:28:09
spk_3
 

Taco. Okay. Okay. Well, go ahead. Spout your conspiracy

0:28:13
spk_2
 

theory. I will. And you'll be a condom in my grave. Well, let's just say I'm tying Manuel at some

0:28:18
spk_0
 

real know where his grave is because there will be golden arches right on

0:28:21
spk_2
 

Tom saying is after supper tonight Tune into my live stream after supper tonight you just tune into my live stream and I'm gonna take this. Oculus is

0:28:29
spk_0
 

when is supper? It's a weeknight.

0:28:31
spk_3
 

Some sounds after you. It's when you ring the bell and everyone runs to the point supper. You old? I

0:28:35
spk_1
 

mean, I had so much burgers, talkers and house for lunch that I can barely think your supper right now

0:28:42
spk_2
 

we'd have a meal. Well, you guys just tuning. I'm going todo uh uh, uh. John Oliver style takedown of tuberculosis belong.

0:28:57
spk_0
 

You're gonna go for something short and concise. You're gonna stick with long.

0:29:00
spk_2
 

Give me a long form piece.

0:29:02
spk_3
 

Well, is long. Do the same set up punch line every time

0:29:07
spk_2
 

it's gonna be from 6:30 p.m. To 12 midnight with one with one break in the middle where I just say And now this. And then I'm gonna play something else and I'm gonna come back and I'm going to

0:29:16
spk_0
 

know what is this? Your switching sides here. It seems like your old show and your old book were really catering to one audience. And now you're going for what seems like the HBO crap.

0:29:25
spk_2
 

Yeah, If you can get a one audience, that's half. That's half the notoriety. Half the success I come. I've come to realizing if you guys had read my new book, you're doing enough time parenting it. Maybe if you sat down and read it. You know this

0:29:37
spk_0
 

to be clear. I haven't parented your book one.

0:29:39
spk_2
 

OK, well,

0:29:40
spk_0
 

I've noticed it, and I said, I keep saying it takes a village, but I assume I'm

0:29:44
spk_3
 

parenting. I'm spanking it. I'm telling it what it's doing wrong. You're sitting. I'm having Yeah, I'm having big, angry flare ups around it, so it learns that there's only one emotion mentioned show. Um,

0:29:57
spk_0
 

that's good. That's all good stuff. It's a tough world out there, and if you're sensitive at all, you're gonna get fucked.

0:30:02
spk_3
 

I'll say I sit down and watch field of dreams with the book so that it will have It'll have one emotional connection to a thing. And it's sports.

0:30:08
spk_2
 

Yeah, OK, well, I'm just saying, maybe if you did less of that and you read it a little bit, you realized that my my whole thing now is play both play both sides of the field as far on both sides as you can go. You bring both of those sides of the audience. Right?

0:30:24
spk_3
 

Wow. Whoa. Our

0:30:25
spk_1
 

guys, I just got a text message. I don't want to tell you this. I don't want to Just just remember

0:30:31
spk_3
 

with the alien thing we didn't even ask. So go ahead. But just so you

0:30:35
spk_1
 

know, not know all the view is aliens

0:30:39
spk_3
 

all the view

0:30:40
spk_2
 

of you. So enjoy my heart like a bar. Old Barbara Walk

0:30:47
spk_0
 

Goldberg. Wrestler? Yeah. Who is on the view now?

0:30:51
spk_3
 

Goldberg speared Raven Simone on last week's episode. Spirit rated. Yes, that's a clip from

0:30:57
spk_1
 

Yeah. Not Whoopi Goldberg. Goldberg, The wrestler, um,

0:31:03
spk_2
 

rave in also their sting

0:31:05
spk_3
 

Scorpion death. Like Meghan McCain?

0:31:07
spk_1
 

Yes, it's Yeah, it's There are

0:31:11
spk_3
 

There are aliens. Yeah. Wow. So it's most of the alien seem to be people that, like at home, mothers and fathers would watch, uh, between the hours of, like, 11 and six and then after dinner.

0:31:23
spk_1
 

Yeah. I mean, one of the oldest aliens is Springer.

0:31:29
spk_2
 

I honestly, everything you've said today, that is the least shocking thing anyone could have ever s.

0:31:35
spk_3
 

So just to be clear, what did the text say? And who was it

0:31:37
spk_1
 

from? It said, Ah, it was from what? You know how there's the Illuminati. This is like a version of the Illuminati. Okay, It's here in a minority waste the Alu meth oddities. Really? Yes. Well, um, yeah, they're the 11th. Adi, uh, is texting may and tell that it seems like they keep their trying to dismantle my brain. Um, I telling me secrets and and just pulling what I think creating the the alternate universe. Oh,

0:32:15
spk_0
 

wow. So I mean, they're really leading with this mystery and stuff, but it's it's funny that I don't really care about

0:32:22
spk_1
 

hey just keeping my brain. I'm like, fine, I don't really watch tv there in the middle of the day. It doesn t change my life at all.

0:32:29
spk_3
 

Well, as you all know, the teachers Lounge is different lengths based on when we end the show.

0:32:40
spk_1
 

Must be time to go

0:32:42
spk_0
 

Starts ramping up for a five minute speech.

0:32:45
spk_3
 

And what What I love about the end of the show is this you can't spell end without and mm um Ah. And, uh, n is letter in the alphabet and an upside down almost a w. And you can't spell w almost without you And it you upside down an end. If it's lower case,

0:33:13
spk_1
 

Joe, those have been Todd spots. We're

0:33:15
spk_2
 

not doing that segment. Every

0:33:17
spk_0
 

I hate it. I like it, but you

0:33:23
spk_1
 

can't spell double you. How do you spell double their spelling for that?

0:33:31
spk_2
 

And I think it's just

0:33:32
spk_3
 

someone's had to write down d o u ble you w is.

0:33:36
spk_1
 

That adds, I don't think that's ever been written

0:33:40
spk_2
 

letter W's

0:33:41
spk_0
 

every I don't think there are words for letters. E think the letter is the thing. You don't sprout a letter. That is.

0:33:49
spk_1
 

But I know how to spell f e f f

0:33:54
spk_0
 

true. I guess I was dead wrong. Yeah, So I guess

0:33:58
spk_3
 

I'm not such a piece of shit.

0:34:01
spk_0
 

So we'd every deed. Seems

0:34:03
spk_1
 

like you're causally trying to go out to your hater.

0:34:07
spk_2
 

Yeah. And also that specific read of Seemed like someone earlier set up the question. It seems like sometimes you're a piece of shit. And you just answered the question with an episode that wasn't about that

0:34:19
spk_3
 

question. Well, I'm not a piece of shit, so eso Oh, by the way, failing New York Post. Next time you review my play, don't write that I'm a piece of shit, okay? Because I'm not. Everybody Come see Taco, double bacon Cheeseburger, Padre presents every day. Tadre Taco Burger until next time. Hey!

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