Van Thieves

Keith and we're recording from a van. Brand new

baby way broke into this van here that we saw on the streets and D C and man, do they have some really nice recording equipment in it? What's up? My name is Ray Mark Oath, and I'm his brother. Day Marcos. And

I cannot believe that we broke into a van and ex got Podd grassing equipment. We know you have to stop and give some of the equipment, you know?

Yeah, podcasts and equipment. A chandelier. Looks like a ballroom in here. What else? We got a big old fluffy

couch, but 30 Athlon

three on the ground.

And for those, you know, that don't know Ray in the day were both born and they were They came out, hit heads and bit their tongues.

Yeah, we've been living

their lives with their three brothers with half tongues.

We had I had so hard that we wait. I live exactly like you.

You don't have to change the story. Just say yes to the thing that your friend told you.

I was hoping some new information because of me, and it did not.

My name is Woody Allen. You also may Skippy skinny with dif scudi Alan

use you like

Teoh and I am the wheel man.

Don't look in his undies.

That's right, do not I That's not a joke. A lot of fans have been looking at my undies when you see me on the street. Yeah, do not look in my underwear.

You wear such cool boxers, you know, and you walk around, they puff out of the top your pants. Maybe people just stick their finger in the back with a butt crack is and take a little

peek kind of get peeking into a sack of flour.

Look, I've said it a 1,000,000 times. My undies are not a sack of flour and my butt is not flower. All right, So don't peek when

it looks like you had a couple of buns back there.

So, dio, it's time for the van alert. You know it, you love it. It's what New Van came out this week and we're looking at the 2020 dives Caravan Athletic Guy five doors. 12345

Everybody get in. Come on in, Right.

This van is awesome. It's got 16 cupholders. A DVD player and four flip down strands

you can hear Mambo number five heavily influenced their ad campaign.

That's right each feet, if named after a different girl,

a little bit of Captain seat in My Monica,

a little bit of to a little bit to move owner's manuals in case he loses one

fucking sick man. I think

so. But if you're sticking along at home, just remember that a little bit of captaincy in my Monica a little bit of due to two owner's manuals In case you lose one

classic that's the for gotten birth mom Obama fight.

It comes in 13 colors. That's right, unless you're stealing it, then it comes in whatever color it already is in.

That's right, right on. What was excited me about this van is for just a little more money, or if you find the right one when they're stealing it, it's got the thing in the back where if you wave your foot underneath the back door just opened.

Kate, you're walking around with two fac the growth three,

and I still walk around like a character in an eighties movie when I'm carrying my groceries. Yes, right to big full paper. Cepheid were no strap. Thought him the hole there. No, I ripped the straps off when they give them to me at Trader Joe's

and I also, any time I'm drinking out of a coffee cup, it's empty. Like with people. Levi's three empty cup.

You live to get too fast to his face and colored it. And there's nothing coming out. You could tell

when I got to carry on. The plane is so easy to put it up into the benefits they get in. There is a lot props department. So what you guys

think of this van? I mean, we

pretty good one. A lot of weird. What?

got a

It's gonna be hard to get the smell out of. Yeah, it seems like there was there. We did find a dead polar bear.

Who do you think on this piece of shit before us?

I bet they're ugly is a wildly that issue. There are pictures in the the vice there, the front driver feet if you want to see him.

But I know what you mean. It I mean, it even smells ugly. A

lot of people will keep pictures of their loved ones in the visor, their kids, their wives. You could tell that these are just pictures of these guys. Pull it down. Look at a picture of themselves and wistfully, Remember what they're all

Self East. Not have taken a picture of each other. It's all men alone and taking pictures of themselves. They bring it with them on the trip

in a dirty at the mirror. And they all got They all got lipstick prints on them. But that's obviously men's lips. Yes, guys, put on lipstick, then mail in the lip, kissed their own, picks it

and there's a computer.

Disgusting. Yes. This gateway is nasty.

I have even thought of a gateway in 12 years.

And let me just say they've puffs coming out of

it. Yes, yes. Way ticket is on its last. Blakes.

Yes. Last monitor

stand. Uh, well, here I Here's the section of show we always do. Where do we want to go? We stole the van. We know at some point we're taking it to a chop shop to get it chopped up to get the cash. Where do we want to go between now and then?

And that, you know, we took some listeners suggestions last time around and those are always helpful. But no more funny suggestions. We're not gonna go up your butt.

Yes, And the police were not going to go to the police station.

And I'll say this. I would love to stop at the hospital before because as you guys know, I have cancer.

That's right. But I do know that we told you multiple times Your commitment to the podcast is number one, for

We also told you multiple times you can't stop by ah hospital and anything good happen for your cancer. You gotta have repeated. Yeah, we a doctor check you up, you get It's not like a cut. We've decided to

refuse service through for you, and then you're just living with it. You're gonna live it out. We have to thank the pretty curable, too. Yeah, Yeah, it's skin cancer.

Of the tone

of the toe. Yes, on my on my toenail The skin underneath my toenail have cancer. The doctor that I consulted online said, If you get it checked out and you get a couple of treatments, that'll be fine. But I guess I got I have said that my commitment to the podcast is number one healthy number two So

and the Who is this online Doctor? Dr. Eyes either online O th Dr Us have not We don't have list. No, this is mispronunciation way trying to say no with. I think they if I'm doing a safe out these ta ta wind threat telly I have a live. Yeah, I think that was the thing is attack

sense for me? Spain know my thing is different. His thing is that he thinks word this smell different. My thing is the I'm Ivan Accident. I'm from Buffalo Ona And that is how it Alona

and on. And also the first thing it was established about you guys was You bit your tongue. Yeah, as baby. That's contributing to

what you're doing.

I don't think so. Long throw tastes like soap. I just spell cilantro this way. The way

with train segment. We talk about

driving next to a train.

You gotta think up in the same mouth. Brower, the train. It'll make you come.

Alright, guys have faster Levi's trains. You have actually 23 around 22 23 trying to find it trying to follow. Okay, I think we're finding it way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This train,

we think up to that training ***

Whoa, that is segment. That's your favorite

English news. We don't care how much you complain. He was one star on iTunes. The segment stated what Forever plane and we all want. Come on. My

way to Booth way.

No, Most podcasts are free and they can say, Hey, this is free You can't complain about We put out there and we know that you pay us $50 on patriot to listen to this.

But we have 200,000 listeners for a reason. That's

right. Mandatory and presence. Thanks, Theo. The lobbyists there, we pay

we got on the private prison mandatory listening program.

That's right. But now we're in the middle of the plane segment, and here comes the plane high. OK, think of get back to it.

Okay. Okay. Here we go. Going about 700 miles way. Yeah, well, I just came twice in three minutes, and I feel tired. Man, Does anybody else want to navigate for a while? I haven't given a single direction, and I'm getting seasick up

here. I won't

know. I'm riding big

take navigation and we'll go now. This is go back to where do we go next? The segment that we always interrupt with two comes. So where do we want to stop? I will leave in d C. We could go west and go Teoh What? Somewhere west? All right. So, uh, day

came. I get

day markets wants to go to Hollywood. Yeah. What? We don't take any votes against Ali. What?

I want to go. I would like to go to Glendale,

Glendale, California. Right.

Just a cheaper but close enough to Hollywood to feel like you're there.

studios in Glendale. Glendale famously shot the comedy Bang Bang TV show the last four seasons there. So conversating. Okay, so basically the same direction. We're in D C right now. So we do want to basically be in the Los Angeles or Greater Los Angeles.

There's a couple

Do you want to go skinny? Uh, you know what kind of the

premise here when we first started was Maybe we can all reconnect with our families. You know, I could go home and see my parents one last time. Okay? I think we got so caught up in the thievery. A coming.

Let's move them to Toluca Lake.

Okay, So way could take my family. It's in Toronto right now.

Your brother lived in Skid Row in Los Angeles, though, right?

Yes, for my brother. And you could barely call what he's doing living right now. Oh, well, you've said it up.

Yeah, you said it.

Six. And responsibility, whatever your first name was, it rhymes with his

day. But yes, my brother lives in Skid row. He moved there, and hey, just the rents are too high right now is get road. Uh, I can't afford it.

There it is. Too damn high.

But we could go. I could go visit him. There were kind of were strained. Where? Italian strangers to each other. Strange, but so what? I've driving west. That's the Big West pop on Route

66. Were just like Lewis and

Clark. Yes, yes. One of us a superman and one of us is Lois slave.

And we're traveling west to Oregon

now. Um, we kind of took a week off of each other because we're between vans. Yeah, I want to do a quick check in. Would you have been up to has already go in

going pretty good. Going pretty good. Ah, you know, same old slippery Keith. Still working at the Sephora. And

how are they with your hours right now? Because you're in and out there a lot of

hours. The weekly hours air. Fine. For what? I'm in town. It's the week to week. I can't be here at all in town. I'm flexible. But when I'm out of town stealing a van, I can't sell foundation.

I know a lot of women are thinking when I go to this before the last thing I'm expecting to see a guide. Him slippery Keith trying to sell me makeup.

Yeah, it's manic. Big name tag. Yes. They know your name

in a mechanic's jumpsuit. The whole thing. But you're fantastic. Makeup sales. Thank you. Yeah,

Yeah. Number one in the business number one in. Also for us. Because you while on the clock you its per capita.

And you competed in one of the you know how in the Far East. If they do the like the barista contest you did. It's the for a contest.

Yes. What? You did an ugly duckling, contracts. Wherever you got put together some of the ugliest people in the world,

and I could pick out which one is the ugliest duckling.

Whoever picks up the ugliest one with

you,

it's just me Down was ugly. And what's a trap

before? Has everybody know who's attractive and who's not? So you keep coming to that

addictive place, But you picked out five years in a row, the same guy, 123 year old theater teacher

walking through this, trying to look at people, getting the makeup. I

don't know why this comeback keeps coming, but I have labeled him and reap the rewards five years ago.

And if you got anything, if you get anything

started entering because he was treating it like a beauty pageant,

well, he does get a big roast every year, which she seems to

like. Yeah, well, he was just taking a call through the before, right?

That's right on. He was hit a skimpy towel. Apparently he was saying, I

happen to know that he works out on the trolley at the America.

It just say he just pull ups on the bars or what he wishes. No

chases it. You could never get up to its top three.

Jackson's asked me to go see, like, two miles an hour that thinks

it's a workout. I don't know it. Italian. Great. Great. Get Have you asked your assistant manager? You know, that's a big Ross and Rachel on again. Off again.

Well, it's will they won't they? On my end for sure. I just don't know. I don't know if I could get up the courage to do it,

you know, because she I mean, she has been giving you all the signals. She said, you know? Hey, I'm free this weekend. Maybe we could go out to dinner this time. Actually, in a movie, not a day. Hang out.

Right, Right. And I said,

Oh, if you want to, you

should We would write me. What else should we invite any other friends?

She was like Now, why don't you Did I just hang out? What? It wouldn't talk a little bit.

And I said that would be awesome. Started shaking my head mailbag. But then I got sick right before it happened. I don't know what the connection wise.

Yeah, one on one. Make me forget one up. You.

I can only hang out with my

four guy friends. What day? One thing that's been going on with me. My business egg juice is not doing today with, you know, we want individually wrap. Ah, boiled egg. And there the little bit of water in the bag.

That's right. You were one of the few people who would

you say you want? You would get that

bag and say, Why isn't there more water in here? Why did I have just the one?

Yeah, Why do people keep being disgusted by this little bit of water and dumping it out? And it makes them not even want to eat the egg. But you you rolled out

your new your combo egg juice, top of a fire. Yogurt.

How was that roll out?

So you know that thing That's, uh, threat on the top of a yogurt that you usually don't about. I've been putting it in with egg juice on also oil like pinto bean packaging water? Absolutely. You know that oil that pinto beans city and you dump it out? It looks like dirt. Yeah, I put that edges and top of if I a into

just a dirty bag right

a dirty bag that you used to have fish in. I think

this is a big I'm almost sorry we're talking about it because this was a big split between Ray and day. Yeah, you decided to not invest in the business last minute.

I did not do because things were going good at the FBI s. So I was like, I think things are going good here, so I don't need to invest in the business I've got. I'm doing really good. I've got a guy. I'm on a really good case right now. I don't You

find that you've almost figured out where all the fit

Nell's coming. Yeah, that's right. I took. I took on the whole opioid epidemic at the case last year. And you're you corrected? I did. I cracked it. I found where all the friend that was coming from. But let me tell you this, uh, don't They didn't let me. They didn't let me file the report. Oh, fill the world. Doesn't know. But the truth if you heard it here first, you know where the fed north coming from? Telus Hicks in Indiana

Hicks. Is that ready or round? No. People It's coming from dumb people. So you hick lobby? Yeah, got in with I don't think I know you think the hicks a part of the allure methodic

death. I know this for a fact. I got you guys to see my bedroom. It's covered in red string

for the last time we're not going to do.

Come on. Come over. Come over. Please come through the door. Come on. I'll make you some tea.

You get them. Nasty little Podd in there you cook with?

I asked my putts. Nasty, but you're over here given people egg juice. And

I always said my pot was black. You can call my Podd Black because my kills black. Do you understand

now? Yes. There was basically based

on the Podd karma Kettle Black.

You know, I get it. There just wasn't really a joker metaphor. He repeated the method. He repeated the thing without using what it's good for.

I guess I was saying that I've always said my pot. Let's black. So you're the candle? Yeah. Tim Yeovil. Pull me out. How deep

pots? The one that gets Porter.

I think I've been watching too much Tracy Morgan. That fat fat. I

moved on. Though I'm no longer on the the fentanyl epidemic. You're on the fentanyl about fentanyl. I'm on the fence. I'm on the fence. So they told me I have to move from now. I'm investigating doping in baseball.

00 So So this is still a big deal, right? Thing, like, 10 or so years ago. This is over.

Yeah, I e I was like, Are

we just

gonna let let's just let people use steroids? I'm sick of people caring. I think everybody should be able to use sterile.

Yeah, well, I was going through your phone, and I saw I mean, I saw

using yeah, right. Customers, but pick. Yeah, you can go home, I think. But

your whole riot profile is pictures of you users Steroid.

Hey, don't not get into you tried it, buddy.

And then you're I a profile says secret FBI agent.

Yes. Secret. You grit. She's what if, uh, I hated your song. It was on your I broke my my song.

I'm saying song. You know,

you still don't know what

you sing or something that you wear something that you think. Okay, I got

you. Yeah. So but I'm getting a lot of dates off. Right. So please, let's not blow up my spot you connected with that day. Chop their cells. Fruit dates yet? Yeah. Yeah, man, let me tell you, I've been on a couple days with a date.

Oh, man. Your old man. Oh, man. Oh,

way. Although the classics like exclamation before an exciting

statement, man, I don't think so,

old man. I loved that dinner.

Oh, man, give me some more of that cream corn that same way,

weren't we? Went to fantastic dinner. The cream corn was off the charts.

Oh, my God. The cream corn was delicious to cream. Spinach was good. Yeah,

well, that somebody of 50th way anniversary, we both in India,

we do a cream of wedding anniversary.

Yeah. Try the cream a week. Yes. Uh, that cream. Oh, it

was Good way. Also Wedding crashers. And we thought, Well, what about wedding Anniversary Crashers s? So we've been going day 50 of the anniversary. Yeah.

We didn't know people for five years. 10 years? That's right. Cream of mushroom was there way.

Pretend to know the foods way We're old friends of other foods

came a much cream of chicken.

Well, I said, I know Kareem Abdul Jabbar. So they let me in and

I couldn't believe he was there. Cream Abdul

Kareem Abdul Jabbar with

Well, And he came with Sharif of dual degree.

What? Don't give stayed behind to put everything in the trash Misic cream.