The Apology Email

do we want new comforters? Or do we like the ones we've been having using?

I'm going to get a new when I think. Okay, by the way, I think no offense to you guys, but I'm going to get a second room, and I'm going to go get a room by myself. You got talking, Toshi? Yeah. I'm gonna talk to Toshi, and I'm gonna get a room, you know, Not, you know, not trying to find it in front of a guy's face, But I can afford it now, so I'm gonna go do that.

Well, if you don't want toe spend time with us in the room.

I was mad at us because we've been smoking in here.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna end any. Listen, guys, this isn't goodbye. This is just This is not goodbye, you guys, They're still three of my best friends, and I'll see. I'll see

you making money. What's all this money you can afford to your own room?

Hello, Sam. Did you not hear He didn't hear

Sam. You hear about this

now? I've been alone in the park. It's been beautiful.

Say is the talk of the sketch the broad community. Yeah.

What are you talking about?

Well, as you guys know last week, I Yeah, I guess their listeners don't know this either.

Start with it will move on. I think that's the best thing is to say the thing, and then we don't have to talk about first the episode

that you guys know. You guys know I made a huge mistake. Ah, and I I sent Anthonys Weiner to every email address in the whole world and

remind me of the, uh what the subject line was. Todd, look at the downstairs when I said I can't say this

was he is email. Right? But depression repeated zone are, But

I guess go ahead, our Todd

downstairs schnoz on this Jew.

Well, it's also I mean, let's also talk about your apology. Email. So great. What a subject line. What? I meant waas. I don't want to go into the body, but

yeah, Todd, what did I say? You know, because

it was as offensive, if not more. Start

with downs. What I met was for a Jew. This guy had a big Penis, parentheses, impressed,

parentheses. Looks like one of their noses. Really offensive double parentheses. parentheses. Impressed? Why are you impressed, Howard? Because you were surprised because you're making an assumption.

I that the Schranz judgment being on his nose. If I didn't know if I if I'm being on, I did not know Anthony Weiner was Jewish, and now

you know events. But come on, you

had to pick a new defense. One little holed up in the court of people with eyes

I got and I

don't see stereotypes. I don't see stereotypes. I

don't even if the right in your face, I guess

I don't see stuff like that I am blind to.

So you hit him with the third apology, right? Second apology. I did

this one, you can say, because this one was good.

Yes, I said I said, I I said subject heading. So, so, so sorry. Parentheses. Juice. Yeah, which, which was made

that in parentheses. I didn't want anybody else to think I was apologizing. So, so, so sorry. Jews and I also think you should say Jewish people. There's something about just the word Jews. That sounds a little derived, and

I know that. Now, listen, I guys, I grew up in a small town. You know that. I don't I didn't I didn't meet a Jewish person until I met uh, Todd Topper. Todd,

you forgot Todd. Maybe for a second. It was another apology. And that's just this is what I said. I just got an email. An apology?

There's two way. Can't we cannot with these emails, way cannot wait three apologize because I haven't even got to your big news.

True. And I do want to say it's a point. I don't know, listening to this in context or out of context. What side of the line we're on anymore. You've got mail, okay with the mail.

Just stayed there. Just clean. Apologies clean. Okay?

You work clean on your apologies.

No, I've been dirty on the other. Positive. All right. So that's not important.

There was some buzz around you and you went to 30 Rock to commit suicide, right? Yes, Buzz. Because of the buzz, things were

bad. And I'm a threat and I my way turn the

tv down. And we almost looked at you away from the game and we said, Don't know what

I did not want you to do it. But as soon as you said you were going to I had to go. Well, then, here is the best place. Yeah,

and it s so I went to 30 Rock and I'll tell you guys, I was on the observation deck. I know you said go higher, but I went out to the observation deck because it's the only thing I had access to. And I was standing there and I was just saying, Well, read it later. I was just saying to myself all the things I've ever wanted to say to myself because I knew this is the last time I

was. So it was a monologue, which is that it was a bit of a

monologue. I was saying things like, uh, you know, uh, the only person who's ever had to believe in you is you. Ah, I said, uh, you're I said, I said, You're Carl's Jr. Order isn't weird. And I said,

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, And then I said, Ah, what you wearing? Wigs? What's that Jew wearing wigs? I was intentionally wearing a wig, but I did happen to find a dirty wig on the street as I was going there, and I picked it up and I didn't want to hold it the whole time, so I just put it on because I just needed a place to put it. They didn't have my bag with me.

You weren't intentionally wearing You found it and put it

now anyway. Long story short. Uh, little did I know Lorne Michaels was out there having a smoke get. He likes a cigar smoking a cigar on the observation deck. He was in his own little quartered off spot with some like Bell. Simon Simon was in their Chevy Chase. Was there the

Paul's Paul Simon pull shaver. All the short ball

polls short, bald Paul's were all in there

called Alien from the Seth Rogan. And, uh,

Paul Bear there was there and we're just talking for sending,

you know, It's Lorne Paul Simon, Paul McCartney, Paul board, Sean Paul, Paul the alien poultry for Paul Shaffer. Yeah, and Lorne

in Lorne. Ah, and they're watching your what you'd I think is a suicide. They were watching my suicide, and it turns out they thought I was doing some characters And how jornal Haft he never left. He did. He lashed out loud on, and I was taken aback because I thought I was alone. Honestly, it was It was a weirdly

that's having all those realizations, your after

eyes up there alone. And I was having all these moments to myself and ah, Lauren calls me over and he sort

of beckoning calls you over Johnny Ha la Johnnie Carr Sala,

Johnny Carson. He beckons me over and he says, Listen here. But ah, that was the best comedy I've ever seen in my life Why? He's seen every piece of comedy and I think he thought I was I was started no selling the compliment when I said, Oh, it wasn't comedy Ah, and he laughed again. Yeah, uh, and one thing led to another. He offered me a contract, and now I'm your new featured player on Saturday Night Live.

And I heard you got to choose your own intro location where you shot your little SNL intra video. Yeah, and it's not quite like a nice restaurant or bowling alley like the other with

the other one

slightly styles the same, but there's one key difference. You're in a ball pit. Here's a thought that you're surrounded by dirty kids and you're dressed like Ronald McDonald. I think the whole and so it's

this. It's It's the It's the intro, which is awesome. It's cool. It's this good

example. Donald's eating fries going well. Uh, yeah. Hamburglar.

You're introduced as the Hamburglar is You're wearing your brown McDonald out.

Well, all this is actually due to the fact that while I was having a conversation with Lorne, the head of McDonald's was also up on the observation.

You know, Sam from your work.

That's right, Mickey.

And he actually offered me a sponsorship. Well, okay, the first I'm the first sponsored member of the Saturday Night Live

cats and saying because last night we were we sat around, we watched, we watched the first episode. We were very excited. We, you know, we had we ordered in and it does. It goes egg. Oh, no wont m the hamburglar. It's his. I thought they were. It's

not even alphabetical. Dr pissed me off

well, and also, you'll notice that my my card is longer than all the rest. Yeah, full 35 seconds.

And much like you know what they've done for movies and stuff with, Like Marlon Brando and the new Superman, they used old Don Pardo dialogue to get him saying the hand

sort of speech synthesis thing where they took everything he ever said and they put it into a synthesizer in the

in the wide He said Everybody's name.

He said every word in the dictionary.

That's what killed him

because too many words

and we all

watched and it was really fun. And, uh, you did step on their

Todd. Thing is, you rushing out, we're so we're so happy

for you to say, That's awesome, dude. And thank you, that's really cool. It's really, really

been going. How is it playing shit, man?

Yeah, one of the guys on SNL, sure as the Hamburglar Justice. Wrongdoing, Donna.

But I get to be myself. Anyone sketch a week

once a week? And you, how is shit man going

for their sake? I actually just got an email that they they picked us up for two seasons.

What does that mean? I get out of the park. That's

all the mail says. I don't know. Here we go. Which was hard because you're so heavy.

Some of them said a little bit more like farts. These those bites

and there's even this last email sticks its head. Yeah, this is not about me. This is about Howards thing that I've always wanted. And

I'm gonna be honest with you been treating me differently for the past the whole past week.

I'm so happy for you. This is just like when you're hauling up both middle e

I can see it. A knife is not Don't think Just

like just like Keegan. Michael Key got Saturday night funnies or whatever.

You get mushrooms and sold. Don't think twice. And now you've grafted that story into your real life.

Okay, well, you knows

me all day. We saw

who knows the real

I'm excited. I don't

I'm excited. Go ahead.

You got in. You got in the cold open. Yeah. Yes, that was cool.

Yeah, and yeah. Yeah. I stole a hamburger from De Niro playing Robert Mueller.

Yeah, And you accidentally l live from New York. It's McDonald's not accidental that look like an accident, cause all the other cast members stopped instead of what you do.

Let's just say my sponsorship isn't going over well with the rest of the cats.

Your sponsored by McDonald's, but they didn't go through the write

down of just knocking script approval approval. But the writers don't.

You jumped the live from New York. It's Saturday night. Bye bye. 30 seconds. You're hit it hard. And second

is, by the way, very libre living. Conservative Estimate.

Yeah, I mean, And you actually, you said it so demonstrably. There were a couple of strikes on the drums and some toots from the hormone

you may have, you know, came back.

Trevino came in from Conan, uh, organs, drugs

and G. Smith replaced Vivino on Conan. Yes. Yeah, yeah. You said it so early, and then you collected money. Um, I thought the character I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I had struggled watching the whole thing. It was tough for me, but I thought the character deal out. No, it wasn't too loud. And I was No, it was the time I was jealous. But I will

say though he a minute. What a big

I will say. Your character of Oprah likes Big Macs Now. It caught me. I chuckled a few times.

Yeah, Thank you. I was shocked that they went through with

it. I couldn't believe I don't know the the writing felt super thrown together in last minute.

We had screamed out I when the show started, be as McDonald's didn't like where it was

okay for the show when you did. Ronald McDonald House are Ronald McDonald is annoyed with the ah hurt Children at the Ronald McDonald House hurt?

Well, one of the problems was that when we wrote it, it was just hurt.

Children. What's the corporate goal there? Todd, Right. If

they want to play, they want to seem playful. They don't want it. They won't want to seem like they can't take a shot. You know what I mean? Like they want to be like.

Now we're the cool

company that you can make fun of us. Our burgers gave me diarrhea. It's they like that. They they want to be that sort of like playful company.

Show used to be funny, used to good. I was in high school. The show is funny,

Todd, your flourishing. You have a huge role. You've just been picked up for two seasons in the park. We just got a pretty cool sponsor to, you know, Really, Who is it?

It's this. It's a council that argues for not using toilet paper. Eso It's like an environmentalist council you

guys have to do is shit, man,

I think it's across promo. They saw an opportunity with shit man in the park. Eso

His whole back story is that it's okay to be covered in shit, and it's not actually that big of a deal.

He's kind of been cast out of his town like the Grinch.

I don't Yeah, yeah, he's the Grinch. And by the end of it, his shits grow three times larger and you know, it's Hamlet and Shipman's there. But don't talk about me. This is about Howard. I don't know why

you guys keep me and

I want to know

about the backstage vibe. I mean, the late nights writing, pitching,

it's Did you meet the alpaca?

I did meet the AL pack. We got a lot. I actually got to feed the alpaca. Really? Uh, yeah, it was really cool. I mean, you

get to read the Abraham Lincoln Todd, you're trying to move on.

We ate lunch together, actually. Seems me and Abe actually a lunch together. It was really Yeah. Yeah, we both had salads. Hey, said no bacon on his I don't know why. Uh,

time really want t o max culture.

I'm curious. I ask you the question. That's great. The answer that asked him Answer.

And then, you know, the the tough Tuesday night. That's the rial Todd Group,

huh? Well, what, you didn't you bring up some You You tried to slip them, Todd resume as like, a friend That I did that too early. Did you do it too early? You think

I did? I did it first day. I didn't. And I thought I made such an impression on Lauren that maybe I could do and I submit also it all Yeah, I say it. A packet for all three of

you. Thank you. Yeah, they Yeah,

they don't want to be on the show. I do

right. But, you know nothing.

I would love more than for all four of me, including my three best friends. All get on SNL. What about dream? It would be fun of our whole crew to get on SNL and I

would pass for white guys at the same time.

Well, what about three resumes? They they're considering consideration. What did they say with Well, I have only

seen I actually left him on a pile on the desk. All three on Lauren's desk. There's there's one left on the desk to have been moved to a different pile. I don't know. So you must still be going.

What is the tile that the one his in looked like? Who are there any other? Is

it? Where is it like which was fine

because it's a little thinner. It's a bit of a thinner. Ah, it's a packet.

Say it's like one play

and I don't even know how it's not. But your resume isn't even one page,

and you know it is sitting on a pile. That is, it's sort of around around ish, sort of. Look, it's

zero mile in the trash that, uh, yeah, it's

your resume is one square.

Yeah, yeah, it's on one square of toilet

terror again. A screeched to a halt after you made your resume because it turned out to be lightest piece of paper in the world.

Yeah, I got like, a piece of paper and least credits wasn't

Listen, I'll check in with Lauren when I head back. T 30 rock later today.

I want to say thank you very much for giving me all your friends and family tickets so I could sell them out of BKB. Yeah,

you know, I want hey and you you know the caveat I said. McDonald's friendly. These need to be how to love McDonald fat back on and say it. I didn't say it. I don't offend people anymore. That's not my my game anymore.

That's probably why they don't like Manus. And I'll say I like Teoh. I like him, but I like to push the envelope. I like to find the edge and then I'll scream right over.

Well, I remember a lot of your tapes that you were. You audition there. Ah, lot of it was characters that already existed. You did. Mr. People

keep doing peepers, and it's not playing well.

Jimmy Fallon in ah, Blackface as Chris Rock. Yeah,

you know, do what worked in the past, Um, and like, that's Ah, I do Kimmel's Karl Malone. Um, I had to make upon anyway. Put your hips guy.

How do you decide which characters to pick is a kind of random or what's What's the Thai Hear?

Jazz baby? I rolled that camera. Yeah, we know you do a jazz. Well, yeah. You know, I push. I walk. I pushed the line, I push the envelope. Um, but again, this keeps going up my audition. I'm okay. Never being on SNL. I'm an actor. I'm not. Ah, sketch actor.

I'm an actor, and I can't remember that. Maybe we've talked about this in the past. Have you ever literally active and something that's been finished? Yes. Yeah, or is it a lot of planned acting?

Yeah, I was in a few things. Okay? I was in a few things. Yeah, I was when

you were in saving Private Ryan, right? Yeah, it's in the background.

Yeah, I'm in the background of Shavit

way shape, Private right, Shaving Private's

Ryan Shaving Privates, Comma Ryan

about a guy who shaves price

for you. Ryan in it. No, no, but you didn't even get the legal,

You know, it's uncredited on imdb because it was just hair sweeper. I was on set here. Sweet.

Oh, it's the shot in the movie where it's just feet and a bunch of hair with a broom Won't even get your face on the screen.

Tried. So you work crew.

I was crew, but I got my face on camera enough. And my feet are recognizable enough that they had to pay. May I have very recognizable feet. They had to pay me Lord of the Rings had to pay May Day to veto. Has to pay me every time he tweets

Flippy Well, you know, I have recognisable feet. Let's just say that much.

your troll

That's awesome. I wish I had something that was such a marketable skill. Like recognizable feet.

Yeah, well, you've got You've got descent into madness. You've almost ah sure. You know, we had the big nightmare. Sure. Uh,

it just takes so much out of me every time I perform your I mean, it's just so hard to do that sustainably. No offense, but it seems so easy to show up with just a nasty

foot and go. Here's my deal is now is not your strong hold on the park. You now have some of, uh, not just the part where you got Fifth Avenue.

You change strawberry fields and the Dakota. Right and let

stronghold. Now, um, let's I think your history again is proving true again. You have fortified your

yes, place. Yes, my place is even stronger. And several other hermits of New York have come out and develop their own little bird nests. The block

our relations between you and the other. I haven't talked to him. Sound as

I think they see my example and they go, That's what I want. I want to be around everybody. But no, no. But

what we've seen, we've seen some sort of maps that have been getting passed around online of the new encampments, that air sort of being cropped up and borders are growing in such a way that I think very soon, Sam, you're going to start to realize that you've got people kind of sort of hitting on your territory and, ah, when that has happened in the past, things haven't been good.

I'm sure we'll just share the space and you know it. If everybody wants to be alone, as long as we don't bother each other, I'm sure it'll be fine. Now if anybody comes inside, I'll kill. I mean, I'll kill him. I lose my mind. I'll eat their head. I But I think Islam to be

the hardest. It's a job. Yes, maybe just in case. What can I saw? Aerial footage, but it seems like you are starting to go into production with some arms.

Yeah, it does seem like you have broken the treaty you made with the American government. And you are enriching uranium. Yes. Yes. As you keep saying, it's just four energy, and it's just for research.

Well, I found a new way to enrich uranium. What you do is you get an old rusty pale. You bury it in the ground, hole up and you scream into it as loud and as long as possible. And eventually uranium develops in the bucket.

You are to you. I think you have nuclear screams.

I don't know so much pencil because of where I'm

Sam. That sounds like Godzilla. Literally.

Yeah, that's where I'm from. I'm from a nuclear reactor where I was born. Well, let's see waiting, waiting for the immaculate birth. Yeah. So if you could call it that

Sam, I just want to tell you right now when shit hits the fan and it will, I hope I am on your side because you're my only friend. I'll get a battle.

You're my only friendly because I already know you. If you're new to my life, you're dead. My old friends are allowed to come around. Yeah, because you don't bother me. You know? You know my limits. You know my space and you give it to me. No one's come into my bird's nest.

I by the way, would you mind? You just left like some of your clothes on the ground. You mind cleaning them up? Um, just when you leave. What? Sorry. I was just thinking about that because they're supposed on the ground. It just gets get. If the room's a little dirty, it gets dirty. Or quickly. Yeah. I don't need them anymore. Do whatever you want with the class. I'm not gonna clean him up. You're not gonna clean him up.

You eat your head, you

better watch the fuck out. I just tried Teoh

not bring conflict to me in any way. It stresses me. This is a

conflict. I'm trying as a friend to just bring the

thing that's writing this down. Howard, this isn't a carrick,

Todd. I'm not writing it down, you know? Hey, this time around, I'll pick up the clothes. How about

that? That's actually a good catchphrase. Yeah, that's funny. Character.

Yeah, it is a good countries, I think Somewhere in my packet and I looked through here again, Uh uh oh. Pick up. Um shut up. I'll pick up the clothes.

Howard, on this one. Shut up Time. Shut up. Yeah, I Honestly, this is This has been a big group dynamic change of cowardice. Funny now and Todd suck Todd bottom of the rung, man.

I said that last night at the after after party for SNL. Howard has always been the funny one.

Oh, well, that's not

always wanted to hang out with Howard. You guys made it to

the inner table of the after after party and I was stuck at the far outside.

What? I'll make sure that we spell your name right on the V I P list.

Yeah, that would be helpful next time.

Yeah, OK, I'll make sure which e i p list the Anderson? Yeah, the good

one. I'm Look, we're all equals here. Way. All I could do the same and ah, this is we're doing great. That seems desperate, but, um,

equals we all like each other the same. That's all. Check

out a movie, and it's on me tonight. It's on me. Oh, really? That's a

cool on us. And you'll pay for it.

Yeah, it's I'll pay for it.

No. He'll use his Stubbs account and drag us out to some far Away theatre. And since we don't have, stubs will have to pay

for Well, no, no, it's on me. I can get one of you popcorn for $5 off. That's on me. I just don't need all the fucking popcorn,

Todd, that I don't want to go.

Howard. I am before. For

why can't you say that with some conviction? Saying,

Why don't you guys say it if you're so happy for four? Yeah. I just email that. I can say it. Yeah, over email. Say with your mouth.

Okay. Howard. Shit. I said I'm sorry from the play email.

Oh, shoot. Yeah, We got to use the right account.

I didn't log out and lock into my really email. I

just got an email here from the Shakespeare in the Park Producers that says I'm sorry.

How weird what they do wrong.

I just want to give you a better role not to Shit, man. Wasn't good

Yeah, that's probably there. Sorry that they All right, Howard, Now you should have anemia on your inbounds. Yes. Uh, do

I have one in my in my in box?

Tell me I'm not looking at your fucking phone, Howard.

Oh, I do have ideo Oh, shit. I'm gonna forward This won t I'm gonna forward this one.

Just getting from Howard Somehow the Shakespeare people got your email

so I can fix this. I can fix this. Let me. You know what? I see what it is. I think I was. Bc seat on this. I'll copy it, and I'll resend it from who it's supposed to be from.

Okay? No, that was the list of Todd physical imperfections we made.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

How? The Shakespeare Company. I just sent me a list. Let me open up.

You know? You know what? I just really you know, I just remembered. Yeah, I used we were having a meeting with. We met with the Shakespeare people for a potential tie in and Shakespeare for Shakespeare on SNL, and interesting. They gave access that we gave access to emails got exchanged, so those guys have accessed our emails and now backs.

What did that wouldn't say.

Which one did I just get one? I got lost in the freight Teoh with one of my physical imperfection. Let me I don't have with my physical imperfections. Let's see. It's just the list. Eyes flips. He's not lower controllers. We pretty much decided it was this whole body. Both. But we did go piece by. I think I might have added left arm princes. Might be whole body question.

I was going to say I accidentally added that, working their way down. What did we say? It? The personality I first now in their

fingers. Right arm, right elbow. I think it's just got the most intricate I What

was that? What was that? Don't worry. I fixed it of East.

Oh, here we go. Blessed email was your physical imperfections. Tub?

Who said that? That

was just a list of body parts. Why was that? My physical

profession. God, just proud of Howard.

Yeah, and you know, we don't need to get into it. Todd, you've got a big week. Uh, you know? Shit, man. Shit. Man is going the runs continuing

to year to year. Pick

up your gift for your for your play, you know, instead of instead of flowers, I got you this. It's Ah, 12 pack of Charmin double role extra quilt.

00 that's funny, because I'm covered in, uh, America after I'm Well, actually, I'm not allowed to clean off its part. My contract.

Wow. Guys, I really quickly want to mention this because I said I was gonna tell you guys where the BKB s booth is located. Definitely. Come. Visit May were in the middle of that big, um, cemetery on the way to LaGuardia. Right in the middle. I bought a plot. Um, I'm they technically said it has to be a grave. So I am six feet under laying on my back in a big hole. So come out there and get your tickets. We got SNL tickets. Of course. We got trash Barge employment way. We have lunatic hospital

and don't under sell yourself. This is the hot spot for all the tickets in town. Yeah. Sweet. Deep in the grave and difficult to get through place near LaGuardia.

And you've also you're selling jaywalking tickets as well.

Yes, I'm selling jaywalking. Taking in that jail. Jay Leno's jaywalking But you're also selling fines. Yes, I'm selling finds. I'm also Craig Ferguson. Skeletons there.

So is gold has been removed from his body. The one bird show was the opening of the show in the

window. Yes. So get those tickets. And if you can get a ticket for the taping of SNL this week, I got a great character debut, and I've been working on it for a while. It's called poop Guy. Uh, yeah, it's really original. Yeah, it's gonna be really, really funny. McDonald's loves it, because again, it's all about how McDonald's makes you shit, and

I'll go kill myself on 30 Rock. I'm really going

to tell myself on three observation deck is closed time.

You should maybe little show you

try it. I'll be honest, Todd. I think you wait too little for you to get to Terminal velocity. When you fall Italy a compliment. You're gonna be like a feather falling years going waist down into the ground. I don't think you could physically kill

yourself. We'll see you myself on 30 Rock. Where is my interest?

Well, it's been a pretty good week. I mean, I really feel like we're getting used to New York. You know, I know that I'm walking

here, you know? That's Howard's funny Todd socks,

right? I feel good, you know? Come to the park. If you want to come to the park, set up your own little birds stand. Do not come in Minor elite your head. But there's plenty of space in Central Park to make your own squatter spot. Squatter spot squat. Also, it doubles as a squatty potty if you just go right inside

his rotor spot. Squatty potty. That's right.

Great. So, yeah, guys, I don't mean to steal your thunder side, Teoh end the episode. But ah, you know, I've got a little bit of practice with this. Sort of like hosting stuff again, So I'm getting better at it. Eso I'll just say it right here, guys, make sure you tune in next week because this Podd is all bod, baby

Thisted training is good for you. Yeah,

next week Don't forget that this podcast is up your flawed ass. Why f l a w e d s s this podcast? It's not just this part, not just Abad. This podcast is up. Your flawed asked what is flied It just

feels like you're trying a little too hard, Like, you know, how, like, Howard's really natural and just sort of it comes off the cuff. Yeah, it just so look at this part out. But it feels like you're just trying way too hard with flawed. It's like,

Todd, you don't have to always be such a big personality. Sometimes, Like, sometimes you're going to say something

and, you know, it doesn't work on your funny. You are the character. I mean, you're hideous. Your nasty, your ugly. That's

funny. Yeah, you're right. Elbows fucked up.

Keeps coming up. I don't know. You notice an elbow,

then just come in and be one of those snipers. You know, you don't have to lead the sketch. You just come in your snipe. You know, you

waiter was supposed to be funny. What's funny, Todd? Be Horatio? Yeah, just be Horatio.

So here. Why don't we will give you a shot. We won't even say anything. You end the episode and you be here. It should be here.

Ladies and gentlemen, Too much. Too much.

Listen, the yeah, you need to go to the groundlings. You need to go to the Groundlings in New York, which is the underground be underground, the underground wings. Here in New York, they're edgier ground.

I'll take that. I'll take the note from a bunch of fucking amateurs. Take it,

take it thinking Comey a amateur.