Voicemails

so they didn't save any of our outgoing voice mails

now, and that's to be fair. I mean, we couldn't have expected a wipe. They they wiped. They honestly wiped us out of existing. I think that what at least did it too? Yeah.

I don't think they have to save him, but they don't have to wipe them out.

Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. There is a but a voicemail. Outgoing voicemail. Simple. You just You just say your name. You say you can't be there. You say get back to

I don't know. I think you gotta have some little ring,

Teoh. Just maybe todo here. I'll just do a quick one, all right? And and And we can all do it on our if our funds, but just watch. This is it. Uh, if they're phrases in

a way that the answers are

Okay, well, here we go. Let me just give you a simple, straightforward This is to the point. This is how it'll be ready. Here we go. And 321 action. You every level. Real action. What do you mean? I don't? Well,

he was doing like a play. He was playing director. I was a union actually. Start.

Okay, I don't need to be directed. And they were doing kind of like a Larry Sanders show of your boys male. Okay. I don't really need Teoh. Don't really need any direction before, but I'd love a take afterwards. A camera speedway? Was it recording all that?

Oh, so great. So we got here.

No, no, no, no. I know being Oh, no, I need I need to redo it.

All right? Can you can t go on three?

Yes. I'm gonna go on three. I'm just gonna do it. 23 Hello, everybody. Vriesde, Howard Levis. I'm not around my office at school so you can call back nine. I forgot myself. It's harder to see anything. I'm not around my office. That's a school. They know what they're calling right? You and I, for some reason, forgot that person calling last my phone. Don't worry about the setting, and you don't have to leave a number. They call, they call my number. They don't need my phone. No, just just don't get you Always get obsessed with the setting. Know where they're calling. Just the only guys they're looking at shooting him if you want to. 33 Hey, how we want? Welcome to whom I phone. Uh, see you guys later. Stop. You didn't even say Leave a message. Tell you. Well, you jumped on my back. If you guys would You guys just like turn away? You

were give you all control over there. Yes, all your all your

let me do. Looking at the wall. Let me do my thing. Here we go. And 321 Let's have everybody. This is Howard Levis, his voicemail, And you called me and I am not

around, so leave your name and number at the beep.

So, Elvis at the end, I kind of like that,

Actually. Was that the king? Uh, I just Honestly, I was just feeling myself, as I say. Well, let me go off of that. Yeah, let me go three for that. Like you're going to do what I did, but better here. No, no, no, no. I'm just I like that. I like that. I feel like I need some type of Carrick.

Howard Hughes was good. I liked

it. So I will say, if I could say one thing. Howard Levis is voicemail. I was like Howard Levis is voicemail,

right? Record. People are gonna be like I always thought he was a voicemail. Well, now this convertible your true home or try. Here we go. Here we go. Teoh win. How's it going, folks? I'm Howard Levis getting on the phone with you. And when you call me back, I will answer. And I love you. How about that and seen? I don't know why I got that was

you go up and down on a rollercoaster.

Yeah, you're losing your voice because I tried to get to, like, cloak. Well, I didn't I didn't just let myself say the information we, like, heard one.

one? Oh, let's just somebody else go. This is like a restaurant situation. I'll see what you order, and then I'll make my college. Okay. You want me to do one? Yes. All right. Here we go. 321

Do we like the third

You ain't nothing but a call or leaving a voicemail. You ain't nothing but a coal or leaving a voicemail. This is Bill Cravy, and I didn't die on the toilet.

All right, Moving on. I might. It's one. And done. I bet honestly essay. Yeah. I'm sorry that I did one between my Elvis one and that one because it really honestly, that one would have hit so hard and been so perfect.

if you just run right into it.

We could take it out

Well, here's what I think, Bill. Yeah, Um, I think that we don't

I did have a death scare on the toilet.

E I don't want to remind everyone of the toilet.

I'm trying to, like, get out ahead of the toilet desk care. I don't

think about it when they're calling your,

but I will say it's almost hit the presses. Really? Yeah. I started. Mean has it a sentinel? I stopped by to put out Put in a cast If I add last night to bed. Idiot. Dinneen has it. It's It's running in the paper tomorrow morning light

if you don't want your almost toilet deaths grouped don't almost die on a journalist toilet.

Listen, maybe underground, but they need me and didn't Ain't had a date. I drink a little bit too much and I almost died on the toilet.

But you keep going out with Janine and having crazy things happen to you. It's like you're trying,

Teoh. Want publicity's what it seems like. Bill, come on

to go back to your question. Yes, they have the photo. And yes, it's front page

also. And also, yes, it's a selfie. We Are we talking big back bucks? Your Podd box over there. Paparazzi ing yourself, Bill, We know that, but big black box ever that you just made noodles, right? Workbooks, black box.

Let's just I will. They made the box of smallest. They could. It's not very flat.

No, the boxes a small is the Penis. Now, just let me do this. Let me do this. 3 to 1. Hey, name you gotta quit this shit. I almost

on your toilet one back in time and then you want to run it on the front page of the symbol call. May We got a date in London and

a tunnel driving fast. Thank you. Did you just threaten to late like Lady Di her?

So that sounded like you were leaving her.

That's my outgoing. That's like shell here. That's like leaving a mean note, like on a light pole Like you. You're just putting it up for everybody who are right to see that was classic me leaving a note on a light.

I just don't overdo often your head. Don't do that, Bill.

I mean, hold on a light pole. That's what I need that.

Let's just move on. I I love that. I'm leaving it. All right. I'm gonna go ahead and take a crack at one. Hello, Students. It's your teacher, Sam, Weatherman, and I'm fine. Leave me a message and I will I will handle it. Normally. Give me a call back and I'll respect your feelings. Nobody called me. Thank you

one and done May. But what? Ah, Why were you reassuring everyone? You were fine. Is this about the lunch in front while I back to school night? You You seem pretty stressed. If you have allow burst.

Yeah, but that's because that teacher is getting too close to me.

You were doing the egg toss?

Yeah, and I wanted to do it long. I wanted to do it far, and they said you can't handle that. And so I need to start close to you. And I said, no, I can toss.

I think a tough thing with you is you know, there's this big little lies. Spoiler alert. But you is everybody seen

it? Yes, sir.

Have you seen Big little Lies? Well, never mind.

Yes, I have.

You have? Yeah. Yesterday it Well, it ends. You know, it ends with a person getting murdered at a school event. And I remember when it ended, you said, Well, then what happens every time? Because you kill somewhat every school event. You didn't think it was?

No. No, I'm fine.

You killed someone for a name?

Okay, fine. I'll re record. If it also comment on the death comment on the desks,

we do a little levity about the deaths. Little

so where, you know, and you're not because you're not being charged or anything. You did mean said if you provide some levity on the desk, she might not

run the story. Okay, 3 to 1. Hey, what's up? It's Sammy. Sam, Weatherman, baby. Yeah, get a teacher. But it's fine. I'm fine. Don't bother me ever. Or are you gonna get your head ripped off?

Okay, Sammy, let me Sammy Band and not to admit to the murder.

We're sticking with Sammy, baby, huh? Like bam bam or someone. If you are a man who is very violent already.

Okay. 321 I'm a murderer. Call me back and I'll call you back safely. Don't go to school. That's where I kill people. But I don't. I'm safe to be

with. Okay, Maybe we could just cut him safe to be with and have that be the

okay. Why don't we just put Sami bam me? And then it goes to the tone and you leave it about this. That's exactly why we need you in the lounge. I do not need another prison. 321 Okay, actually, pretty good, right? Todd? What we owe Todd, we have 45 minutes for you to do yours. Do you need any help?

Um, I

don't know.

I mean, I'll take any advice, but I think I also, you know, like I work on my own. It's at the same time, Absolutely. We'll take any advice,

I say. Just be yourself. Yeah. People want to

know what on the character. You said you were up late last night writing this and I see

that it's a little off the cuff. I was a little off the cuff. Yes,

Europe late, but It's also off the car.

It's a little off the cuff.

It seemed like there was like, I mean, I drive by your house last night and there were, like, 3000 balls of crumpled up paper. They're important out of your windows like a McDonald's ball pit. But a bad writer? Yeah.

And you were feverishly making coffee.

Well, um, you know, it was a long night, and then I decided it's a little off the cuff is the best way to do it. Um um uh,

big warmup for this. Really? In his body. Kind of walking around, shaking it out. That's what that is doing A big kick back kick as my water.

Uh uh. You're screaming people of Hamilton. As you know, you've reached the telephone of Todd Theater. Podd Tadre, theater teacher at Heterosexual importante. Oh, if you'd like to leave a message, do so after the beep. If you'd like to call back later. That's your choice, my man, Your body, your choice, Dude.

Driving too folksy and friendly and ways to my

like it did feel like pretty intensely. Ah, what's that called Ren fairy. It was just

very ren fairs. No, I thought it was off the cuff.

Well, it wasn't You were holding a piece of a were close to your face. I'm going again. What were

you gonna use that loot under the table for? Oh, the song.

Okay, we'll just go again.

And you don't have to tell people you're heterosexual. Like they know that you don't have to assure them of way do and present to your masculinity are don't and don't condescend to or like what? I'm not sure what, but like we're woke, nous don't perform woke. Okay? But you're trying to

say things that come out of my head.

All right, let's hear

Good evening. And thank you for calling Todd Podd tray. I don't care who you are, what you look like or what gender you were assigned to yourself. Even if you don't do that because gender is a construct, whatever voice I hear on this other and I won't be disgusting

guess they're laughing in that way. You started laughing in that When I don't know. That's going

all rolled through. All rolled through the very well stitched together. Teoh, Whatever voice are here, I won't be disgusted by leave a message I don't care if you're weird.

Okay. Well, that was actually good. You didn't say anything about being straight or anything like that was re record. You want to go again? I You know, I think you could tell Everybody could take it. The note that was given to me. We can simplify. That's true. Thes need to just be straightforward. They say only, like eight work. How about this Bullet points Name A. It were Call me back. Eight words eight words with your name and call me back in there and I'll get eight word. I'm holding up the eight. Yes, and I'm we're counting down. We'll go around to do one more where we do eight words. All right. You ready? Go ahead, Todd.

Oh, Podd Padre Voicemail. Leave a message. Straight

guy is that hyphenated? Last hyphenated. That's a hyphen, baby. Okay, then that is Technically, I guess you could say it's okay. Here we go. Three,

21 Mentally stable. Safe. Sexy. Sammy Bir, Me.

Did you use Bamieh is one of the word. I did? Yeah. I pulled a finger down for families. You're using that as one.

I'm locked. I'm happy with please help was one. Yeah, if you're calling me, I expect to see you tune it to help me.

All right, here we go.

I hold out. Hold on, hold on. Let me remember. What my thing. Waas Think you were Elvis? Ah, yeah, but I was also obsessed with press. All right, Bill Cravy voicemail. Britney Spears shaved head, and that's it. That's what they AlumAI Whatever counted. All right?

You didn't get everything about you doing that,

All right?

Cravy voicemail. Britney Spears shaved that toilet.

It's like you be honest. Me, right? That's you good to may. Then we're

done. I got a way. Have eight more words. We have eight words. We sit through it. Okay, here we go. Here we go. My eight words do they are? Hi. Nine. What? Why did you leave your number? They call it, Told it they know it. Oh, shit. Well,

they're gonna call here in answer. And then here seven of eight of the numbers they dialed and then a beep.

Think they got the number wrong? Not knowing who they called? Well, within that three record mind, then I'm happy. Listen. No, That was actually these voicemails.

Let me hear you say something to Dinneen on your let me dio one more real with use my actual phone number and mention the name. Yeah. Okay, here we go. All right. Hi, Janine. Bill says don't post. That's that's really helpful for me. It's

really good. So if anyone's listening to this podcast and you need to leave us a message but don't want to talk to us, call these numbers. Hit zero to go straight to voice mail and then leave it to beat. Baby,

we none of us said leave it at the beep.

Oh, we give people got another way for the beep. Okay, That shot ever. All right, here. I got

one more quick one around the horn.

Todd's phone, baby, I'm here.

No, don't say working for arrived doses. A I know you. Don't you dare say he's got three words. I know what he's gonna dio. Three words. Let's wait a

$100,000. I know it's coming.

Todd! Padre! What was it again? I'm here.

Madres phone, Baby, I'm here. Todd Podd I'm

here. Oh, yeah. Todd Padres phone. I'm here. Yeah, and then what's next? Three words. Wait. No, The but that voice mail may it locked.

Oh, well, everyone knows I'm funny, so that will be

Miami Crime free. Way to be

way. Alright, Sammy. Baby baby crashed freeway to be trust Dinneen, pull the photo. I can't live way. Didn't get beeping any of these

b I didn't hear beef

and do the name. Okay? I'm not gonna do the name this time. I'm sorry. I already gave you 11 Freebie. All right, here. We owe Howard here. Don't. Shit is our love

is here to me. No, not too mean shit. All right, well, so we got our voicemails. Long, uh, most high school teachers have their own outgoing voicemail at the

school, and the kids got call if it's homework problems. I think it was right to do this when we were supposed to be administering the A C. T. Of course, it's not the practice Notice. CT hard. My, um, nephew Stephen to administer it

out there and thanks even again for that he is one of the best Proctor's

around. He really is a proctor. Dr. What does that mean? It's about dark Podd Italian bracketology.

That's not what he's doing at this school

Way to go to the cafeteria to make these even but exams during the A C T. Proctologist. Okay. Well, shit. Well, let's go check that out. Uh