Seekers' Lounge
mini-25

Sam's Drivers Ed Class

Aired Oct 10, 2019 177 lines Auto-transcribed

Sam takes three of his students out driving.

Unknown Speaker #1

All right now, guys. No, listen, listen, listen. Listen up.

Unknown Speaker #2

You know you're talking about

Unknown Speaker #1

four weeks ago. This is dangerous. This I want to start this. We're driving, uh, in a car. This has over 100 horsepower, and I need you guys to respect it. And barely is an old old ass car. Mr Weatherman. Yeah, It's the perfect car for drivers. That's you can't get too crazy. All right, now

Unknown Speaker #3

calm down. We're all calm. Calm down before I take my foot off. Marcus

Unknown Speaker #2

hasn't even said a word yet, Mr Weatherman.

Unknown Speaker #1

Okay, good. Marcus, you have in a so far, don't cry or else you'll have a B A still. Now, I'm gonna take my foot off the brake. Alright? Divvied? Yeah, You're driving. I'm in the passenger seat. My foot's on the big fat break over here. When I let go, we're going to do what's called idle ing forward.

Unknown Speaker #3

Calm down. We're calm. I'm just wondering why we're in the drive

Unknown Speaker #1

thru What do you mean what? This is where it starts. This is where it starts. I drove us here because I needed a bacon ator for breakfast to get my morning going you want a?

Unknown Speaker #4

I was thinking about going to Goto.

Unknown Speaker #1

Wait. Is this a jack in the box? I thought I came to a Wendy's

Unknown Speaker #3

home. Down. Everybody, calm down. I'm getting get a bigger share.

Unknown Speaker #1

Hey, Dani, Dani has it going. No, I came to the Came to the jack in the box and accident again.

Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Every night

Unknown Speaker #3

Wendy's is covered by a calm down divvied.

Unknown Speaker #2

Come. It's just you here every night

Unknown Speaker #1

only on a nighttime. Now give me a Salado breakfast sandwich, Breakfast, dinner and give me a large Oreo shake. Extra cherry. Yeah, I know it's usual, but this time, actually, give me the extra cherry.

Unknown Speaker #3

Calm down in the back

Unknown Speaker #4

of a large area in the last. Good.

Unknown Speaker #3

There's a lot of Cherries to you. Is this this guy's voice? Sounds like you driving right now. Yeah, trying fat break. I want you to be quiet

Unknown Speaker #1

until I take it off. Okay? Now I want 17 Cherries in this. You

Unknown Speaker #3

can leave some shake out. I know

Unknown Speaker #1

it takes up space

Unknown Speaker #4

last the river Villagers, and

Unknown Speaker #2

he wants room for Sherry. He wants you

Unknown Speaker #3

to be oh, for charity. I'm helping you. Mr. Weatherman's So I'm going to tell my dad you're screaming at me. Take school. No, No, because you can get a little crib directed Cruz. He's

Unknown Speaker #2

gonna raise your interest rate on your mortgage.

Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, that rat bastard. So what if I have a bad least that could be adjusted whenever he

Unknown Speaker #3

wanted? My dad's gonna stop representing you. I'm calm. Why is there so much shit back? So much stuff? There's like a gym. There's like I'm crunching so much stuff. Those air cannons I'm gonna recycle. It's like a ball pit back there. No show. Wait. My kids can't look. Calm down will finally

Unknown Speaker #1

be able to get my order ready. You guys aren't getting

Unknown Speaker #3

anything. You never get it, Mr Sam. You're never coming back, Mr. Saying, Mr Sam, You're never coming back from this. You You're losing your damn mind. Pull it out!

Unknown Speaker #2

You know what? I want

Unknown Speaker #4

to go edible for

Unknown Speaker #3

17 chairs. A

Unknown Speaker #2

good I'm good man driving for a long time

Unknown Speaker #3

DVD. Davey. I don't know if it's Div eater. David's divvied. Okay, Shut up. Do you know my name? I think it's Marcus. No, no, that's his Whose name are you? I'm David calm down. I'm gonna get

Unknown Speaker #4

out and walk, I think.

Unknown Speaker #3

No, no, Mark, you're gonna get Marcus.

Unknown Speaker #2

If you get out, you're not gonna be able to get your permit. Stay in markets will protect

Unknown Speaker #1

markets. Just I'm sorry. I understand that David has been acting irrational in the driver's seat. We know the driving is a big responsibility there. Smoke there. Smoke back here. This car's monkey. Okay, well, where there's smoke, there's fire. All right, yet that I'm worried about. Just get through. The car's overheating. Let's just get through the shack and black. So we'll deal with that when we have time. Okay? Now we

Unknown Speaker #3

have to get your girlfriend's house again. After this? Yes, you say? Oh, no. I forgot the left. Spend the night there. Yeah. Bernice is crazy.

Unknown Speaker #1

This this is an overnight driver's test. Okay. You mean you guys seem to keep the car running in case against hot in there, and I need to come back out and we need to peel

Unknown Speaker #2

in case it gets so come

Unknown Speaker #3

sniff sugar again. You're so much. You are

Unknown Speaker #2

so much less in. Say that school

Unknown Speaker #3

during the hours of 12 to convey called. That's yours when we have

Unknown Speaker #1

class. Is it Marcus?

Unknown Speaker #4

Did you think maybe that you would want to take Mr Sam? Do you think that maybe you would want to

Unknown Speaker #3

talk like this is a live? Has a later was making fun of me. No. No. You making fun of me? No. This is a calm down

Unknown Speaker #1

and stop making fun of me

Unknown Speaker #4

having your from here in a good, uh, my walker isn't making fun of

Unknown Speaker #3

you. Said

Unknown Speaker #4

a walker to walk

Unknown Speaker #3

high. And I need a wheelchair. And it's not me making fun of use to stop tipping me out of it. No more fun of me way. We're starting

Unknown Speaker #4

a six that you use us for a handicap placard because you insist that we always partner

Unknown Speaker #3

I park area. I worked their way, Mr.

Unknown Speaker #2

Whether I wanna let you know that, like, I want to let you know that I am legally deaf, but I can hear every word you're saying you're speaking. So they're a liar. No, I'm not.

Unknown Speaker #3

You speak perfectly, yet it's not death. Yeah. What? What, My supposed to No, no. We're being pulled over. Defeated. Three DVD's Shut up. Mr. Samuel, You to us again about your immaculate conception. Know that story is never coming out. I will tease it forever, and it's never coming out to Stella's Mr Any. Put your window, please way over the second window to take my foot off the fat wait booth in the road on the window market. I'll

Unknown Speaker #2

handle the drive through. You would put on the window,

Unknown Speaker #1

act like we don't have cocaine,

Unknown Speaker #4

and open up the window to open up the other window for your real

Unknown Speaker #3

TV. You get the food, I'll deal with the cops. What do you want? Big? Hey, Yeah, It's two cops over here. Yeah, crops

Unknown Speaker #4

on this side and the director got me on the side.

Unknown Speaker #2

I'm dealing with the driver guy way. We're getting some

Unknown Speaker #3

complaints from inside of the jack in the box dining area, which takes a lot. I don't call What do you guys do it? You're not here standing in a thorough for we heard about Example for my kids. These are my kids. Dale Divvied and Cliff Don't know. It's David divvied Margus. My mistake. Hope Hope off her. They're wearing name wearing Neo Excuse may Are you the guy that was immaculately conceived.

Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. We're been curious about that story.

Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, what's up? Off the

Unknown Speaker #2

weatherman? You don't have to tell them anything. We're not being detained.

Unknown Speaker #3

Shut the fuck quid pro quo. Okay, you're tell us. The You tell us the Immaculate Conception story. We let you

Unknown Speaker #2

walk with the cocaine and the

Unknown Speaker #1

Children. All right, so here's my first memory.

Unknown Speaker #4

All right. Uh,

Unknown Speaker #3

pause. Pause.

Unknown Speaker #4

You like Teoh

Unknown Speaker #1

in an egg? I mean an eggshell.

Unknown Speaker #4

And it only gets 14 Cherries in there.

Unknown Speaker #3

I need 17 chairs. Had 1760. My name's David. My foot back on the fat break where it should've been this whole time.

Unknown Speaker #4

Sure. We have left right away with a lot with these kids who

Unknown Speaker #3

you be under arrest. My resting rate. Arrested. Soothe smoking. There is a man. Oh, now there's two cops choking out,

Unknown Speaker #2

Mr Weatherman, after will being an accomplice to

Unknown Speaker #1

this surprise Surprise. You're leaving me high and dry again.

Unknown Speaker #2

I can't believe you

Unknown Speaker #1

when I took my foot off the brake and you kept your foot on your break making me look like ah fool. Well, everyone knows what It's student driver. They're focusing on the teacher,

Unknown Speaker #3

about earlier

Unknown Speaker #2

but who was? Look, nobody was paying attention. Mr. Weatherman, it's fine. I promise. Listen, I know how to drive. I don't actually have to be. I don't have to be in this class and really No, I

Unknown Speaker #1

think what you 7 30 at night that would be

Unknown Speaker #4

one of us at this point, can legally drive It seems like you're using us his accomplices.

Unknown Speaker #1

And I'm hearing no movement in the trunk. Let me. You guys are dead. Let me just ask you what you think. What? Can we all calm down? Yes, because I'm calm as a cucumber and I'm ready to take my foot off the brake. Get my 17 Cherries or else they're in trouble and go. Are you guys cool with that? Do you want fries with that? Do you want euros with that? Do you want todo turning over a new leaf right now?

Unknown Speaker #4

Yes, I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

Unknown Speaker #1

Would you like a pita pocket?

Unknown Speaker #4

Do the third Peter Podd. Of

Unknown Speaker #1

course, it's on their weird men. What

Unknown Speaker #4

else is on the way?

Unknown Speaker #2

Also? I'm kind of hungry kid. I order something.

Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah? What do you want? You want a pita

Unknown Speaker #4

powder mill? flour dough, Jack and

Unknown Speaker #2

I want Can I get that? Like, what's the one? Tomato

Unknown Speaker #1

tides? Tomato, Todd. Tomato, Tomato. Todd. You mean Tater Tots?

Unknown Speaker #4

The weird manure. That's the wavering.

Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Yeah. Warren, give us some tomato. Todd's in there with the cherry. I guess I Yeah, Warren, right? No, Gabriel. And give us a teeter

Unknown Speaker #2

Teoh que I'll do the

Unknown Speaker #1

You have to tell me how you Okay,

Unknown Speaker #2

I'll get the foot. Uh,

Unknown Speaker #1

look at me. Okay? I'm keep my foot on the brake. Rev the engine.

Unknown Speaker #2

I'll get the foot long dot Got what? The foot long dot God,

Unknown Speaker #3

we want a foot long dot God, What is that home? I

Unknown Speaker #4

think somebody might have put a some sort of sticker for, like, a website on Arminia. That's not natural Item. Okay, We'll just

Unknown Speaker #3

catch the way. Want to be about two foot long? I love what she was making a foot long and stop. Jesus. People start the jack of the boxer crazy. My three kids and I've taken out hours passed school crazy to the back of my truck or crazy, is it? 12 inches of steak. What is it? Just believe. Do you know live in America, Sir. David. David? Yes. Your debates. No time to be your Peter. No, not even close

Unknown Speaker #1

Divvied. You're driving a Saudi? I didn't bring any cash. Crop Director Milkshake. OK, defeat. Get it

Unknown Speaker #3

weighed. Lap up the bill Check again. I can I know. He should have dropped the 1st 1 We'll drop. Okay. Well, lap it up, Warren! Oh, my God For it! This man and Div eater drinking a milkshake out for the jack in the box pavement.

Unknown Speaker #1

Finally, this 300 Cristante sandwiches. Good. I'm 17. So these

Unknown Speaker #3

sealer making out every year? Well, you straight, man. Shut up! You're in the back seat. OK, everybody, shut up. Now I shouldn't have

Unknown Speaker #1

taken us to drive through on. I'll admit that now the test begins. We're doing a full permit tasked

Unknown Speaker #4

with through other

Unknown Speaker #2

right now.

Unknown Speaker #1

What?

Unknown Speaker #4

Your pacemaker popped out of your trip. Did your group? I'm just nervous cause your pacemaker popped out of your chest.

Unknown Speaker #1

Well, it's still under the skin. You could see of that line. I agree, But still this is your body is rejecting the

Unknown Speaker #3

pacemaker about the reject. You guys second, I reject you right out of the car and I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna eat

Unknown Speaker #1

in. I want you in the lobby of

Unknown Speaker #2

Jonah. Reject is there. I do see a button on the seat Says reject. What happened? If I push that there's

Unknown Speaker #1

a reject, but there's an Egypt. But you know, if you want to be rejected, I'll tell the whole school year loser If you want to be injected, I open the sunroof right out. So if he

Unknown Speaker #3

if you press the region but the whole tomorrow tell Oh, yeah, I got pre

Unknown Speaker #1

written stuff on all you guys Talk about race. If I'm pressed to reject button E mail to the whole student body,

Unknown Speaker #3

don't know what all

Unknown Speaker #1

threatened emails all day long. If you don't calm the down,

Unknown Speaker #4

you go for that. I called for back up for a free code for Burger.

Unknown Speaker #1

Let the cops out. David, Let the Okay, Alright, alright. Give me the key. Yeah, right.

Unknown Speaker #3

E I can't open it with I'll pop trio. David, you go out and get him. All right? Excuse me. Cup you You're just Wait, wait. Oh, wait, wait. What? You're changed. You wait.

Unknown Speaker #1

There's a big egg in the trunk back here. They know. What about that? Don't look at that. You look at it.

Unknown Speaker #4

What? This is this. Are you part of the origin story, right?

Unknown Speaker #1

No, that's not my son. Wait. You know there's an unquestioned egg.

Unknown Speaker #4

Thank you. Is that the fire smell? Is incubating an egg.

Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, my love. Do you have a big Sarah Todd breakfast? Just good. I could be honest. My world has completely gone away. It's just you and me Sour now,

Unknown Speaker #4

but I think he's just so he started as an egg. His mother gave birth to him. That's what he said. Oh, my God. I'm pulling up. There's a whole There's a whole biography here. Oh, God. Autumn. Well, bacon all day long. Good. Jack in the box. Bacon. Check

Unknown Speaker #3

your that story will never be. You heard it. He's injected me into the sun room way slower

Unknown Speaker #4

peeling off the sun roof. I'm getting peeling off the thunder of good the dirty. Did

Unknown Speaker #1

you were going to go forward to make a left? We're gonna make it left out of the drive way. French

Unknown Speaker #2

houses. I'm going to drive back to school. You sure you will. I'm gonna

Unknown Speaker #1

drive where I let you because my foot's on the brink.

Unknown Speaker #2

I'm going to drive back to school. I'm going to report you.

Unknown Speaker #1

To who? I got the whole school in my pocket. Baby, Are

Unknown Speaker #2

you kidding me? I can't. I can't talk to anybody.

Unknown Speaker #1

You can try. Try to talk to someone about me. I got dirt on Everybody said

Unknown Speaker #3

that way to us. And I want to divvy. That's your life ending. Everyone's gonna help Teoh. What? You know what

Unknown Speaker #2

I'm talking about. No, Your your little little pigtail. I have a vestigial tail. You can't tell anybody,

Unknown Speaker #1

Digeo. I don't know

Unknown Speaker #4

you, Mr Sam. Yes? Um, I would like to say that you're a really good teacher. I know. And I think I've learned a lot tonight and I think I know how to drive nose. So maybe I should go home. I'll just get out here and I'll taken uber You live really far away from here. Marko,

Unknown Speaker #3

You know what? I do this, you know how

Unknown Speaker #1

to drive. And hey, I got this saying which I'm really lost in right now. Why don't you sit up in the front with the big break goes all the way across the floor and you make sure that we're not going too fast when this crazy man DVD drives us to my girlfriend's house

Unknown Speaker #4

and I'm sitting on your lap or do you see

Unknown Speaker #1

that I got in the back to really enjoy the sandwich and I started Check out for a while, Okay? As long as everybody could stay calm.

Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, Yeah, we've been We have been,

Unknown Speaker #3

like, when people tell me they've been called right

Unknown Speaker #4

with Yeah, I get up in the front

Unknown Speaker #2

yard. Okay, let's alternately loser minutes on, get up in the front seat. And here we go. And

Unknown Speaker #3

oh, rejected, Rejected. Rejected. So my feet tail to Levi's. You know, about my big day

Unknown Speaker #4

we're gonna know about my pick knows

Unknown Speaker #3

already. Oh, wait. You didn't have a job.

Unknown Speaker #2

You walked into the school and everybody just knew already. Marcus. Oh,

Unknown Speaker #3

he's coming back. Todo you gotta move the car. Wear those cops

Unknown Speaker #1

left. I just murdered three of my students, and I kept the story say forever.

Unknown Speaker #3

Sammy. Well, you know what? Let me get another shake. Get Let me get a

Unknown Speaker #4

gym mocha this time and pause. So this is what we kind of Ah, from the script you gave us, uh, made for your autobiography, but it does feel like it doesn't really tell a lot of your actual origin story wear.

Unknown Speaker #1

Now, we were hoping to get ah, a little bit more of the

Unknown Speaker #4

Immaculate conception. Your mentioned? Yes. It's just Lionsgate's very lands. Gates is very interested in your origin story in

Unknown Speaker #1

the brain when I

Unknown Speaker #4

lions gates. Okay.

Unknown Speaker #2

You know,

Unknown Speaker #1

I thought I was gonna meet with the big guy. Tell a very your aliens gate, man. Yeah, well, Amit Lionsgate's Whose here

Unknown Speaker #4

what? We can connect. You should

Unknown Speaker #3

put more like Hunt ease in there. I send my responsibility. This is may build Cravy e. I was in the room earlier, I for coming with me. You're confident? Yes. Yes, Yes.

Unknown Speaker #4

We'll look. Uh, we will take your movie into consideration.

Unknown Speaker #3

What is just, like story? Christ immaculate. It's immaculate.

Unknown Speaker #4

It just feels like there's mentions of some eggs

Unknown Speaker #3

killing a cop like that.

Unknown Speaker #4

Well, the killing of the cops is hot right now for sure, but the killing of students is not so hot.

Unknown Speaker #2

You know about the weird menu? Very. I'm gonna judge

More from Mini Episodes

mini-01 What's the Dealio?mini-02 Who's the Clowns?mini-03 Leaving a Markmini-04 Gillooly Patchoulimini-05 Smoke Weed Every Deedmini-06 Don't Listen to This Onemini-07 Madison Square Olive Garden (EPISODE 6 PLAYED IN REVERSE)mini-08 I Am Not a Cookmini-09 Van Thievesmini-10 Rude Goldbirdmini-11 Psychopathic Analystmini-12 Several Hyenasmini-13 SERIOUSLY, Don't Listenmini-14 The Teachers' Bargemini-15 Levi's Alonemini-16 The Apology Emailmini-17 The Suppository Depository Storymini-18 Cockroach Blockmini-19 Hamilton In The Park: A Good Play Experiencemini-20 The Beacher's Loungemini-21 Preachers, Bleachers, Beachers, Teachers (Barge), Van Thieves, and Creatures Loungemini-22 Voicemailsmini-23 Cafeteria Menumini-24 Todd's Parent-Teacher Conferencemini-26 Coach Cravy's Halftime Speechmini-27 Howard's Cool Kids Tablemini-28 Pep Rally: Selling Magazinesmini-29 The Nurse's Officemini-30 The Student Pick-Up Lanemini-31 Yearbook Clubmini-32 The Game Shows Tapemini-33 PTA Meetingmini-34 Study Hallmini-35 Janitor Orientationmini-36 Friday Night Footballmini-37 Director Q&Amini-38 Precinct Potluckmini-39 Picture Daymini-40 The Jannysmini-41 Spelling Bee Pt. 1mini-42 Spelling Bee Pt. 2mini-43 Librarymini-44 New Lunch Menumini-45 Spanish Field Tripmini-46 Prom Themesmini-47 Boostersmini-48 Beef Diaper Pitchmini-49 Parademini-50 Team Building Workshopmini-51 Post-game Conference Pt. 1mini-52 Post-game Conference Pt. 2mini-53 Book Fair Admini-54 Homeworkmini-55 Charity Auctionmini-56 Doctor's Officemini-57 Bus Driver's Meetingmini-58 Good Morning Hamiltonmini-59 Hamilton Pro-Am Golf Invitationalmini-60 New Teacher Interviews