PTA Meeting

All right, all right. I got a call to order the p t A. Ah. Here. Here. Hello, ladies and germs. It's me, Todd. Padre, I have been tasked with running the P t. A meeting on the docket tonight. We have a few issues, so let's move through them quickly file and everybody go and file in. And uh huh, Mr. Erickson, we're not doing the Pledge of Allegiance, so you can sit down. Um,

now hold on a second. I didn't approve that. I didn't approve that change of the agenda.

There's a school. We let the play.

The pledge is important to me. Okay. As you know, I served. I serve.

Yeah, Yeah. At We all know it's not at war. We're gonna you. So

you seriously, you serve left the military benefit.

Why did I was I worked as a cater waiter at a military event.

But it was not the American military.

No, it was the North Korean military.

So respect is what you're saying.

Yes. I had to learn to respect Ireland

his life. So what? Um, pledge do you want?

I would like to do the oh, glorious leader pledge from North Korea.

no match the mash potatoes pledge. Sorry, because you are a server. I was in support of this guy. I want to move forward. Okay. I wanted that. The American pleasure. Nothing.

Okay, well, because this was what happened. The last p t a meeting is we couldn't even agree on his pledge were doing so We're nixing the playoffs again.

OK, well, then I want to do the national anthem. I'm not going to be in an American school and not do some sort of

America discussed. So they're taking America schools. Let's do an American chant. Yes, it's too okay to make a better fist bump around.

The globe is bump, bump a few fist bump me. It's gonna break my fingers.

Interesting. All right, American chant. Okay.

On your lead. Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

A mare? Uh huh. For three. It's hard to get with today. We appreciate Appreciate. Oh, you've done

all you've done because because we are free. We are free. Well, I wouldn't get live way again. Saw the plates. We can live anywhere inside the plates and we use a money. The same type of money that we used a money The same. The money move anywhere you won't. I don't care. Move anywhere you want. I don't care. Give me a one. Give me a five. Give me a 10 or 20 or 101. Give me a give you 10. 20 year or 100? That's money. That's my money. Where you moving? Anywhere Where You Thank you. Um, thanks.

All right. You ready? Bring at it. Pretty good. All right. My name is David. I'll go ahead and start with my issue, if that's okay.

But it's not what we do know.

Way don't need Teoh is disgusting. David Issue heard I bring this up, but PGA and the hot lunches Disgusting. All right. They can't is coming home. And he's eating only one serving a hot lunch. And I hope he brings him home for me so I can test it. And it's disgusting. We got a secret shopper here for the hot lunch. That's right.

They need to deal with this,

David. Uh, what do your issues with the hot lunch?

It's disgusting. OK, pizza is cardboard. The spaghetti is hair like the salad is paper shred IDs.

Well, David, you you ran for city council. Uh, Yeah. And your whole campaign was about lowering property taxes. Yes, less property taxes mean less money for the school means less money for good. Blaming.

Well, I lost. So those things didn't happen. Anyway, The hot lunch should taste like Arby's. At least biggest loss in City Council history. Zero vote. There was literally a landslide. Literally. I was standing by Hill. The landslide happened where they put the other guys

votes devote their lives.

That's right. I was covered in Chad's and dirt.

The ballot boxes so heavy it collapsed.

Yes, I was covered in chance. So what are we gonna do

about my lunches?

Well, all right. Uh, here's what we could do is we can, uh we could put more money in the lunch budget, but we're gonna have to take money out of the textbook budget. Um, interesting. Oh, are we could take money from band. Uh,

don't you dare, okay? I love the halftime shows at the football game.

Well, I was gonna I

was also gonna talk about

that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go right ahead. Now

I want Grizzly Sam E. Really? Sam loves the halftime

with you. I'll tell you this thing There's nothing I love more. Then watching 55 teenagers play Jimmy Buffett classics such as Volcano uh, such as Cheeseburger in Paradise such as

Hot Todd

E. One of his lesser known So Todd Todd.

Yeah, and I'm just

above it did have a big winter faith.

Todd E were ugly sweater. Festive US boat froze in the ice boat stuck in ice. Baby, that's too much. Turkey

hot bowl of soup When you're sick,

I still hasn't thought on boat

Bola Chili in Paradise Margarita. Microwaved. Not disturbed.

Secret of that steamy margarita. But

I just we want to say thank you for

hearing us last month and adding more

tuba. Yeah, so I do think I do think we may be

overestimated. How many? We need it. Yeah, he

wanted the sound of a New Orleans brass band.

And let's bare

assed first. Understood. That was just a lot more to

we went out of our pocket

for more tube. It's so fun to say you can't have

too much tuba. Yeah, it's a lot like it's almost like Cow Bell. It's like that.

I like it just like changed a little.

You know that there ended up being a national news story that what it started with, they say you can't have too much tuba. And this high school band proves them wrong.

Yeah, And that is, of course, of the 55 students originally, there was one. Now there is 48.

We've got 48 tubas to snare drums, two triangles,

and then the rest just throws up flags and they sing. But unamplified

the kid that eight flags will come by and throw him

up. Uh, what is this meeting about?

I sorry. We've got

no meeting. Sorry,

Grandma. We've got not track.

I have to be about 20 minutes, and I mean this meeting to be finished.

All right, we got to go quick. My grandma's gonna be in bed and 20

So I slipped. I am. I sleep in the gym behind the curtain instead. I am.

You don't look by the curtain. That's grandma's bedroom. Like

I said, I have to get a bed

soon. All right, Grandma, just go lay down, get your bed ready, and I'll come by and Flippy pillow and take you in real tight.

We don't I don't need that.

But you do. Because if I don't tuck you, you wander. Don't

tell it all right away. Don't need that. Can we talk about the parking for the

games for the home game? Yes, there's a big clog. Okay, all right. I think it's because we're allowing too many visitors to come to the games.

So you want to say less visitors? The

other team? No tent. They don't get to have attendance

visitor fans or fans as visitors, because I think there's too many visitors in general. Yeah, I think we cut out some of our home patronage. How you love to see a football game with 55 people in the halftime show about 10 people in

the stands? I think those those kids on the football team work really hard, and I like having the support of the fans there. I think that we're getting the clogs because people are not respecting the American rules of dry what side of the road you drive a car on. Okay,

and it's kind of a free for all of those Friday night game.

Absolutely. All right, You know, we got the Australian kids coming and going on the wrong side, but it's even the parents and I would say that there's another issue. You can't all be the mascot. We have a mascot. Eso a lot of driving issues come from real showing up in mascot costume.

There are a lot of on licensed bear Mascot is costing to find he's his costume to find. And a lot of those cars, mine included, are dressed up like floats to take up more room than one lane. That's right, so it's tough to get

in there.

But I think our school spirit is showing. And let's at least keep

our floats on. Theme. If you're a bear, the float should be bear related. Okay,

My float was, of course, root beer, and that was a mistake.

Yeah, I think you got. I think you

guys are root bear. You get

it? Yeah. I think you got to go with what you have access to when it comes Teoh creating a flow.

So we're saying we're gonna put up some signs or it's just drive on the right hand side

of it. So the road no floats and no Cummings mascot that's getting dangerous. All right, we're getting too many mascots down on the field,

people don't know who to listen to, who to watch and some of these mascots I figured affair. Can you remind us of what the mascot is? One more time?

Uh, were the Hamilton haters now

eso if you want to come, is a mascot just up the loser. It's like a kid hunching over commenting on Internet.

Yeah, yeah, were the haters. And so if you want to come, don't know, don't come as a mascot at all. We have a mascot. Um, it's not a lot the mascot. A secret, obviously. So it's not gonna

change even if you do the best bear.

No. Even if you come in and somehow blow away away with your bear costume, would, from what I've seen is not going to happen

the way the mascot thing is not in America's got talent like competition.

Never it never waas. Okay, so

that explains why wasn't given

a wireless mic. I'm free to move on. I want to move on. I was misunderstanding.

Okay, let's understand women over partly. I think we have bigger fish to fry here. All right, Well,

not in the lunch, Not on the lunches. I wish we had big fish. But

how big do you want these fish? Todd? So look, yes. I don't think this guy

leading the meeting is crazy. I mean, what? He wants to fry big fish.

I was using a turn of phrase there. Alright. Bigger fish to fry. Uh, but yes, it was It doesn't look like my handwriting, but does say on the doctor here, fish size is the next thing to discuss. Beautiful. Uh,

let's get into it, man. This could take full Fisher years. Okay?

With lures all over,

he had guys. A man. It's

way you fly

it. It's just flat mission. It's just funny that comes up on the agenda. Weeks after I've been taking fly fishing lessons, working on my cash. So

what? What do you want to talk about? Fish size wise. You

want you want a big wedding to be considered a smaller

face? You want the school to classically catch the big one?

Yeah. You know, you know, it could mean a lot of things. I think I think namely what I would love is for ah, for us to talk a little bit about you know what? Ah, what is capable? You know uh,

call. You have to have a real sub, a big fishes and your son. All right, so that's the the

Can I listen, Todd, how's my son doing on his tests? Remarkably well,

actually, your son is testing above most of the students here.

Yeah. Yeah. Is my son of fish, huh? I'm not gonna answer that to Is my son doing good on tests? Yes.

So are you sending your kid big quotes to school and doing his homework?

Oh, that's what an accusation? What? It's b o you get

Your kid is hanging from a line with you right now.

This is his leash. He runs amok. Look, I don't want them back, so I had to put a leash on him. It's like That's like when people doing at them the mall with their Children.

Look, your son, Lance Bass has been doing very well, All right, But I do think that, you know, where do we draw the line? Here? We start letting people were

already kicked out. His brother Billy.

Well, you had a big mouth.

Yeah. Yeah, and he was hanging on the wall all

day. You're the one singing through all the quietest

believe I think sick about you. I think this school is fish ist

No, we're not. School is fishing. I'm not Fish ist okay. I am the most open minded when it comes to fish. Will

not only know this thing on the agenda was just this guy talking about bigger fish. I'm free to move on. Anyone else? Move on.

I would love for you to bring up the next thing that's written in on the list.

OK, it's again. This doesn't look like we're handwriting, but it's, uh it's, uh

yes, go ahead. Mawr model tease. You're damn right. I know this is a back when stay only good. The car built by the legend himself in Rivard. My metal t

we on Henry Ford. We all know it's your

mustache. What are you talking about? I'm not a Henry Ford, but he's the 1st 1 to take the car into the big times. Ben, afford everyone

respects you. You don't need to go around.

Legend is

solidify holds rebuild this Chevrolet. This Tish love that I'm the man who took the car to the big time, but I mean he wanted

her venue. Henry find bigger venue than this

I had. I had the biggest warehouse in Detroit. He did, and he brought it to the big time. It's a memorial now, but I'm not dead. He's not bad.

It is a miracle that you're alive. All right. It is a miracle of modern science. You could be using your ingenuity to create more cars. You don't need to sell it

myself down the line. So I became a Mars old.

Some people say you run often, engine, not a

heart. You have to spend me around with a little dial. You have to crank me up in the morning. But I'm living. You mean him? Him.

OK, well, this is obviously Henry Ford. Just tryingto grand eyes. The old days I'm for

how I met ahead in heaviest backfired. You remember me?

A new old mobster just jumped in there with an Uzi? No. All right, well, all right. Next on the docket. Um, let's see what I have here again. This does not look like my writing are going to stop leaving the dock it up here before. When I when I go to the restroom. Well,

why don't you say, Why don't you

say what it is. Then somebody should hit a voice. The person who will know who's issue it is and they'll speak to it.

And the next one is dance competition.

I I want to be let into the dance competition. Who is a Okay? Yeah. Maybe I'm the Santa around Christmas time. Who does the Jingle Bell? Yeah. Salvation Army saying s I wanna be like going to the dance competition. You don't dance, though, man. Show us the dance. Give us a classic classic 78 you get with your mouth. You don't even have a little thing in the bell. Well, I'm not here for that.

Everybody. You don't need to be ready. Don't get up and put change in his

bucket. A his eyes, this for you or for the South Santa. Okay, well, I wanna

be in the

dance competition.

Okay. Um, so this was it. This has been an issue every week. Someone else's wanted to be in the dance competition, which

Well, it seems like you keep let men every squeaky will. Okay, every week.

All right, well, let's put this to a vote. Of course. Last week we said it was okay for Michael Jackson to to be in the day's competition.

Thank you. What was that? My I just wanted to say thank you for letting me be a dance competition. You work of Michael Jackson to and remember guys no relations. Don't forget about me. Number three?

Yes. Michael Jackson. Number three

weeks and also three heat. That's kind of like number four. Thanki number three a normative.

So it's 23 and

three. That's right. Hey, well known for Michael Jackson. For those me and you don't forget about the heat.

Were So we've got 2334 eyes that all of trying to remember.

What around? Whether 6666 The several,

uh, of course. Um

Okay, so we did let those Michael Jackson's all into the dates repetition. So all in favor of the woman. So right now there are nurse students in the dance competition,

e I don't know if we want to let it man take a

all the favorable through one of the time. All in favor?

I Okay, but are you I know your name. Okay? I Okay, I go. Three He Which

one does that mean?

E he favorite? I think we have to start over. We're just

put over. Okay. Michael Jackson to Michael Jackson. Three three e o Michael Jackson for

hay. Okay, Way. Say I He all right? I'm gonna make a rule right now, okay? From here on out

here on a any parent that transforms in the Michael Jackson cannot come to P. T A meetings anymore. It is a It is a pox on our town, right?

I agree. If you transformed and we're already like this get out of here. Oh, so that we have enough votes. A waiter, the birds, he he's a rise.

Okay, it's gonna move to the next thing on the dock.

Yeah. Okay. I need to go to sleep. Grandpa. Grandpa. Well, if you guys would rekindle your relationship. Brake pads. Separate. Bad name Jim Jam. Sampit bags.

Rib. All come tuck you in a second when the meeting's

let me get this straight. Their schools okay with two old people living in the gym. But it's got a problem with my my my son, who's not a fish being here.

What? The problem? Yes, we do have a problem with your son. This is all the students are all human.

Maybe we should finally vote Everything okay? Let's have about Feels like

the MJ's heir teaming up. All right? It feels like, you know, there's a little bit of agreement just because another m j. Has an opinion. Doesn't

way go slow. We can get the vote. That's a great will. Be all right.

Here we go. I'm calling a vote on everything. All right. Well, first we can't. I'm not allowed to call a vote on everything. And unless we have a majority of people willing to vote so all in favor of calling a vote on everything Yes, fish man, I okay. Ah, Let's see a Santa Man

woman. Hi.

Uh, Ford left. So you will know. I'll say his vote in absentia.

That's your He did leave. He's got any help. Be remembered. Mr

Fourth, you doing a secret mustache? Don't go, Hitler.

It doesn't cover them. You know we're in bad now.

All right. M j two Tadre three.

I

drew three. Everyone said I so far

I forget. Devote He all

right? This meeting's over. The meeting is over. This sucks. This sucks Everybody out. Alright. We didn't even get to the number one thing on the agenda, which is the shootings we've had on. And now we can't get to

What exactly is the plan on how it is planning on solutions?

Well, yes, we have to play in solution. Some people want to arm the teachers. Some people want to arm the tough students.

Some people on the arm, only the janitor. One person. You have channelers life.

Uh, and I will say all of the shootings so far have been teachers. All right, teachers and they've been blanks. But But even if it's to prove a 0.2 years scare, it's still fucking scary. It's unacceptable this day in age. All right? Um,

I don't know. Shootings care, Michael 23

All right, uh, we're calling it. Uh, we're calling the meeting. Everybody out. I gotta put my grandma and grandpa to sleep in separate beds.

Watch this. I'm going to get out of here.

Everybody for everybody listening to the tape of this meeting, all the Michael Jackson's are trying to moonwalk underlying Try it out with one of them is going forward. Doing the worm theme fisherman is during some sort of skeet call. Dio Santa is quote

dancing. What am I doing, Henry? Every

Ford is doing a really good throwing his shirt back with both hands and standing with All right, so that's the