Beef Diaper Pitch

All right, everybody, grab a lawn chair. Whatever. Wherever you want to sit on, you can sit up on the ah, the workers bench. They're built that myself

ping pong tables at sturdy,

has a

sturdy, sturdy is all hell. Oh, hell. All

right, I'll also in the middle.

I'm gonna I'm gonna stay stand. You guys know I've been having circulation issues in my legs, so I might I might walk around a little bit, but it's not cause I'm trying to leave or anything. I'm glad to be here, Kevin.

Great. Well, how is that? By the way, did our solution of wearing looser jeans help you?

Um, I mean, well, wearing looser felt better than wearing tighter. Yeah, when I was wearing, Ah, when I was wearing those steel enforced jeans, I had it got tough, had cattle, steel legs, jeans. Yeah, well, you know, down in the plant, you gotta have steel leg jeans, cause if something comes off the slicer leg right off your

feet definitely looked to have evened out.

Yeah, Yeah,

sort of. Come back up into your leg a little bit.

I couldn't even hear your coming today.

Oh, yeah. Hey, that's a good thing snuck up on you. Hopefully hopefully, Ah, that transfers it home to so my wife doesn't hear me coming in the front door every night.

You stay up pretty late. Past curfew country.

Yeah, well, I mean, come on 5:30 p.m. It's too early of a curfew for anybody, okay?

And I

know I know I'm a dog. I know I'm a dog, baby, but let me stay out past 5 30 I need to come home to

that. That that That that that that that that that there's

an ah opportunity for you, Teoh, get in On the ground level. Is your beef leaking bad? Where you've got to clean it up. And now you've got to keeping up banana. It stays where you put a It won't move from its plays. Excuse me, and it's really abs. Ah,

So you you you want if you're beef, has

the leak. You want to stop that leak up and the last thing you want once you get that leak sopped up. Is this thing moving around? Okay,

so you're familiar with ground Chuck, are you? Who in here from

is familiar with Saran wrap and small Styrofoam pink containers? Let me cease your hands. Oh, yeah. Okay, so one person is familiar with Sarette to to Saranda.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, this guy's faking it. This guy does not know what plastic wrap is.

That's okay. So you'll have to fake, like, you know. What do you late

plastic crap is just just fire it off.

Um, it's a little the toy version of Kanye West.

Okay, that a bobble. A small bunco pop toy of Kanye West.

Yeah. I mean, I think let's give him that.

We think this man have It lets that this matter what

to win, even when he hasn't had a winning a Why do

you need a win, sir? Oh, no. Pulling the

hankie out of the back pockets to sop up the tears.

That's all right. If anybody

starts crying in here, feel free to pull that hanky we all have. That's not cover hanky that we all have in our in our pockets.

This one's Ah, this one's a HankMed down. My dad cried into this woman like my great grandpa Sneeze into it.

Oh! Oh, no. Was your Is it? Ah, ever been washed? Because sometimes had passed me down Hankies. That's how tuberculosis run rampant.

Well, you know this Well, yeah, This was my great granddads. Tuberculosis hanky. He'd cough into this one,

and you don't have tuberculosis. But you did get whooping cough, right?

It was Woburn cough. It was 100.

Use you, Um, you were at

the first taping of Marcinho home?

Yeah, that's right. They eventually to kick me out because I couldn't stop whooping. But I got the group started

when you are coughing.

Yeah, I was confident I wasn't liking the show It all on

our it was also at the

first ever recording of Ah, that band tag teams album. I was just

about to ask. So that was kind of about, um when you would cough in the club?

Yeah, I was in a club in the kits. And where is that woop coming from? And then they'd see me hacking up into my great granddads hanky and say what? They're it iss

I say, What guys? What I'm

here to sell is basically a replacement for the little thing underneath ground beef that sops up the blood. Now, does anybody find themselves thinking this little piece of paper is not sopping up enough blood?

Oh, yeah, Absolutely. I've gotten blood on my kitchen floor, and it's now it's unseemly.

Well, see, that's what I'm here to sell is a replacement to that little piece of paper, and it's called the beef diaper. And I've held it up once, and I'm holding it up again right here while we pass this around. Okay, pass that around. Soaked. That was That's exactly right. It's so and

I want you. Guess how

much blood is in that?

It feels like £5.

Um, yeah. Let me get Let me get a hold of that. Let me get a hold of it.

The past feels like five.

All right, Well Oh, my God. This is stopping.

It's stopping, right? Sometimes I find with a normal meat pad supplied by the grocer, it rarely gets stopping me. And it's a nice, concise name. Yeah. Ah, well, that's that's the what they normally call it. But mine is the diaper. Oh, no. Now, now we're calling this one of the beef diaper, and that that's what they already had.

Well,

I just wanted to sound like my beef. Fish is the shed in a diaper, you know, so meat

past. Now, this isn't a feedback meeting, OK? We did those. We did those, and I didn't hear that once, and and I'm not willing to take a

man. I can't believe you didn't hear that once Lalla first. Okay. Wow. He's gonna tell me to shut up,

Okay? What? But I guess let's give

some feedback on three. Well, okay.

What about the trial sponge?

No, I've already printed out

a ton of, ah, flyers, and I have the I had the bold made I don't know if you can see written on this. It says beef, diaper. Bill Cravy does type

kind of like the wrong type of business for flyers. Is there? Uh, no, I wouldn matched

Well, yes. Do you have to

get people to get there? So I'm the a lot of how I get this out as I I advertise a show And when people show up to show I pitched them the beef diaper at a venue at coffee shops, different venues around town. I don't know if you guys have got anything this Saturday, but I'm at the the forum downtown.

Your sales technique is to disappoint a big crowd of people

Well know to surprise them. And

how does it usually go for you?

Uh, you know what?

Tomatoes are my man over here holding up the Kanye West Funk. Oh, pop toy that So what A tomato is.

Okay, let me get down to business, guys. Do you? Who wants to

buy 6 to 8000 of these

Real quick. Is that Is that your Hertz Rent a truck being towed outside?

Oh, shit. Good. Now turn

it off. So he's telling the guy to turn the truck

off. God. Yeah.

You gonna go out there,

right? Uh, we Oh, that's guys. Oh, sock, You don't mess with you. Don't mess with

a tow track guy. They'll sock you guys, I guess I don't know.

It seems like you want it. Listen, listen. Brass

tacks, brass tacks. I'd have some beef at home, and, of course, like I said that? You know it is 60 40 and it's juicy. I'll buy six beef diapers.

Yes. All right, I hear six. Do I have eight? Has no memory. May die, Bees Diary. What way? You know. Do it. I'll do it. A ate up down here in front Got a beef divert out in the front way right here to you know, I heard him be better. Are you

sure about this? You made some pretty bad investments this past couple weeks. Well,

I mean, you know, you gotta

break s it makes to make an omelet. He hasn't

even told us a unit cost. How

much? How everyone has things cost. Well, Hammonds in my head, I'm you know,

I'm a sucker for an auctioneer. 12

I z 12. My man, I

have to find out how much they cost.

Have 14 before team mate died because I don't exactly know how much you comes for each one of them. My 9 14 and I'm gonna I'm gonna have a hard way. Lonmin upping around. How much? 200 100. I want classic Mathis. So give me 1000 1000 us one. I'll just

do the original pack 6000. That's what she said.

1st 6000 We have 6000 to 6000 times 25,000. Classic. 25 times 6000. 8000 over on the side weight that we got 1000 going once. We got 1000 I cancel. Cancel mine. Cancel. Right. We gotta cancel upfront. And as every no cancel means you bid 10,000 way. Got 10,000 over the run. Whatever I hear two. Where do I

go? If you throw in the hurts truck, I'll do 20 20,000.

I'm gonna throw in a drug I do not own. It's year track that way. We got 20. It was a hurts truck. We got hurt. Struck O and Y's. We got 20,000 beef diapers on the hurts truck going twice.

excuse me. Sorry. And it you're in my path. You just move a little bit

of a hilly stay Days the beef DYP Oh, yeah.

This is this the guy care.

So this is him. This is the guy built Cravy found me on Angie's list. And

Oh, fuck it. 20,000 and one.

Well, come on. 1000 and one hurts drugs there.

Uh, yeah. I could use that to sleep in now.

Okay. We got a new home for my man in 20,000 and one beef diapers. What? Over a new home. Bird side, old man, Another beef diaper to

home for him in a beef

diaper. We got my old geriatric old man in 25,000 and one. Beef diapers with a truck, and it is his new home. Come on, you slobs.

Are these

only be for a Technically, could I wear em for any kind of moisture? You

I guess you could wear these if you want. They are, in fact, repurpose tampons that I bought and tore the label off of tampons. The paper is a little That's right. I'm that. Then I dampens their pads.

Yeah, I was gonna say I think you meant pad.

Let somebody you got I think you got to get out of here. Yeah. You know, we'll pay you or whatever, but you gotta go.

Yeah, buddy, I Listen, I My wife, my wife was next to me. What?

We all got curfew in a little bit here. Yeah. All right.

Just give me some money and I'll get out

of here. Guys, just

give me a little bit of money. Our world.

All right. Well, I got I mean, what do you guys have? I have I have

to pay him to leave.

If he doesn't, it's right away. I got I got Ah, $90.

Yeah, a lot of I'm gonna

go around with the hat and just put put the money put whatever you got in the hat.

Whatever you got, whatever you all my cash was the man I carry, like,

Come on. Like, there's a good hand robbing. That's

that's a thing

passed the hat around is this is for the Lord.

Oh, it's Tyler. That's hiding the first. Better lower. The first Lord of the money.

You know, I'm a Christian, so anything helps.

Okay, buddy, Listen, here's 50 bucks. Okay? Here.

Yeah. Is my 90.

All right? 90 plus 51 20.

Yep. That's 120 bucks I might take toward here. Five.

What do you got, my man?

Absolutely nothing.

What about a piece of this furniture?

Oh, yeah. You could take some of the ping pong table, I guess. Are

all right. I'm gonna take this little

I got a really long flathead screwdriver. Opened that there.

Oh, nice.

Those can get those hard to reach screws.

A long screwdriver,

larger driver, wide head of the top. So it's a very specific type of screw that's far away.

So it's a big screw. It's, like, kind of back behind something.

OK, that's a give me that back. I don't need any questions.

Oh, give me two days. Diapers. Oh, I've been stabbed. It's like quit.

This is a robbery.

Oh, guys, I can't be party.

So

it's not assaulted to robbery either. One. Taking all those diapers from the truck

way. Never showing

your face around here again.

No. Levi's

beef diapers and get out of town.

I've been robbed My all of my inventory. Oh, my inventory. Help How? They pulled my pants to the ground. Another spanking my bare butt. Oh, somebody hit me on the head with one of those things that makes a train noise Those hollow wooden toys. How? No, you won't be back. Forget the be back. I'll be back for

sunglasses happened so I can put him on. Roy says it glasses open,

but a shit I'll be back.

Gonna close the door here in assuming over

I'll be back out on I'll be back

He's laying on the ground to try to say goodbye It that's the garage door

closes back.

Little lips under the door

I'm gonna kick him, I'm gonna kick him

so oh, my lip on the inside of the garage. The rest. Everybody's outside. Stop kicking my lip. Dumping it. He's dumping. Quit it. Oh,

all right. Alright, He's gone. Jesus, that was a lot. It was a lot to deal with, but, uh all right, I think

coming over for any more of these.

Yeah, wait. Next week

I'll do one more.

Yeah, I I'm gonna get out of here, guys. I'm gonna I'm gonna walk away now.

Those pants, I don't know.

what That is one more time. That list

It's a list that you usually used to find like a carpenter or ah,

school arrested local workers. Yeah. Yes. Oh, guys, Thanks so much. Uh, for ah, hosting this, um, this pitch, there's

an opportunity for you guys to get in on the ground floor and thanks for Ah ah, ah! Thanks for coming out here. Um Teoh. Ah, Roger. It's your garage, right?

really

My garage. Yet this is my garage. Asana is my little home away from home?

Yes, Yes. Now are you? So you're gonna sit the at this pink Podd because

of the divorce?

That's right. It is my home away from my no longer home.

Well, it's just detached garage. So it's technocratic. Kazaa Pretty.

It does feel like it's not just a little hang out space. It feels like this is his is a living area packed living area.

It's temporary. It's temporary, but yeah, I've got I have the lazy boy in here Now I've got the mini fridge I've got for

She kind of got the house. You got most of the furniture?

Yeah. Yeah. It

seems like everything that sucked in your house is out here.

We'll go. No, no, because not all. Still,

just that sucks inside.

All right, Well,

guys, thanks so much for so you should not sit in the middle of that because that how much conduct bar you up? And I got it. Yeah, I scream. Sandwiched references are ice cream treats. Let's just say you look a little bit like a firecracker, Pop.

All right, that's gonna be his

ad is read. His head is red. I'm a fast Yeah. Alright, guys, what I of course I hit you all up on Angie's list. Ah, and and got you here. Luckily, you know each other because this town's pretty small, but I am a traveling salesman. I know. I know They're not out there anymore. It's all Amazon and walmart dot com and ace hardware dot net. But now you've got a really man coming to your house and giving you a product, uh,

showing you a product showing you a product in in front of your

face live like they used to do with the vacuums.

It's already going on here, so you could just speak a conversational volume. Is

it loud? I'm too loud. Okay, so get down. It's more intimate. I'm not talking to 500 plus people. I'm talking to just three people in a small room.

You are talking over our heads. You're looking deep into an audience. It isn't there.

Well, I took a public speaking class and they said, Pick out a spot above everyone's head and I think I've gone up too high. I am staring up way high.

Yeah. I don't think they meant the ceiling directly.

Right into the garage. Light to I don't know if

Yes. Yes. What? I'm gonna bring my eyes level back down now, just on Hillary. Too low. Okay? So don't look at my own top button, because that because my chin is crime, that's a little type. Okay, so bring it up, lets you listen me win. How about Listen,

buddy, when somebody I got to be home in 25 minutes, so if you would please hurry this right up to our,

uh, keep it

a little hard

to 5 to 5 to five to a mark on the

wall for this guy or something.

Well, now, hiding right, but direction is off,

but somebody's gotta get looking away from

you. Turn this way, man. Come on,

turn it to the left. You got 93 Sloblo

followed the sign of the sound of my voice mail. You

gotta go left, right. You'll be looking directly behind your hard left

heart left. Can we win? Could it? Don't look at me crazy. How How you dented my car. Find that. Ah,

OK. All right. Let's just Let's just Let's just call it with trying to get ahead, right? Okay? Now, on three

why don't Why don't you

years,

yell out? You're or just say it on three. Why don't you say what you're fed up with most in your day to day life? Okay, 123

drivers. Tree hanging every yard.

Okay, so I think I heard to my

wife's and one my neighbor's tree hanging over

bowl. So your wife street

just a technicality of mine

is also way. Got three. My wife. Now, I have

been trying to develop a product for men who are frustrated with their wives for years. Unfortunately, they are all still in the development phase. But what I do have for you guys right now is something called the beef diaper. I'm holding it up right here.

Now are you familiar? That's not even close to what we asked for. Listen, I've been going

across the country and I've been getting a resounding my wife on that question and a lot of people say I am hanging out in garages. I'm hanging out in the I shouldn't spend my time on Angie's list. Don't pitch products at A at a defunct Jiffy Lube. But I was there where it you got to go talk to actual America. So I'm flipping around this. This is called the Beef Diaper. Now Are you familiar with ground Chuck Way Chuck in the Haiti 20? Okay, we got 80% meat, 20% fat ratio.

Whose What's everybody's? 123

What's everybody's favorite ratio of meat to fat? 123

90 five, 62 a 60 40 60 40 From the big man in the back. It's perfect. Beef burgers.

Lasagnas 60 40 brought dogs 60 40 from the man who broke the ping pong table. Alright, Alright, guys. Well, the higher your meat content, the more what we have in the in the meat blood consumption business called the leak.