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Team Building Workshop

Originally aired: May 21, 2020

Todd leads the staff of Johnson & Morgan through some team building exercises.

0:00:00 Unknown Speaker #1

All right, everybody, Thank you so much for being in here today. We know you're busy working right now, but we thank you for taking the time to come to this workshop. Ah, as we know, we've been talking about team building here at Johnson and Morgan, and we brought in someone we think is pretty special toe work with us and

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get us a little bit

0:00:20 Unknown Speaker #1

outside of the numbers boxes and a little bit outside of our heads to try to figure out some new ways to approach this business. So let me welcome here. Um Todd, Padre.

0:00:32 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! All right. A round of applause, everybody. A round of applause for May. All right, Who's What's that? You hear something?

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Oh, okay,

0:00:49 Unknown Speaker #3

Great. What was what was encouraging and what was up?

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that's it.

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Nothing. Nothing. This has gone on too long. Just get your thing going,

0:01:01 Unknown Speaker #2

Can you? Us? Excuse me. What? Can you hear us? This? I don't

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think you There are some hearing aids on the table in the back of the room or those years. Did you put him down to kind of clean your ears out?

0:01:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes, sir.

0:01:16 Unknown Speaker #1

Hey, some dirty Q tips on the years did.

0:01:19 Unknown Speaker #5

You don't need to be ashamed to be hard of hearing, sir. My grandpa he can't hear it all. And he refused in here name for a long time. But then he started wearing it any. Really? He he felt better. So I think the ocean ashamed. No shame at all. Who? Shame.

0:01:33 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, shame. Um yeah, I guess somebody probably clean their ears out with a few tips and took their hearing. Is that to do it? But ah, I guess I'll throw him in just a za joke. Because I'm saying yes saying yes, Authorities in is a joke. And here we go. All right, High Johnson and Morgan. My name's Todd Padre and I know you stuffed shirts don't know anything about art or free thought and exploration. And so what companies do is they bring me in to do some theatre games? Some improv games. Ah, going back a second. I am an renowned actor theater teacher. The world's only living raz got recipient. That's a Razzie for theater, television, film and music. Um and, uh uh

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had a Razzie. I think it

0:02:27 Unknown Speaker #4

a little worse like the worst of every art. And he's got one in every kind of art. I wouldn't have hired this. Okay?

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is

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So yeah, that's ah, awards an award. As they say, Uh,

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if he's ever going to get a razzie for how he dresses like a crash it I wonder if that's something they just do kind of out in the world anyway. Anyway,

0:02:47 Unknown Speaker #3

these air turned way up so I could hear that. And, uh, I I am currently up for, um, worst dressed this year. Um, so we'll see what happens. I'm up for baggy ist jeans with tightest shirt and most ill fitting, most insane, most ill fitting hat. I got snubbed for most of that which has gone too far. L seven years in a row, but, uh so let's do this. That's my intro. But a good way to kind of get to know each other is a quick little intro where in the City Theatre game, where you just do some militarization with your name and you do a at a little movement to it. So I might do something like Tiny Todd and pretend to be small. I wouldn't say time and would make people think I have a small Penis. Let me think of a new one. Let's go with Uh uh, I know nothing about size. I think Ifit's a tiny tiny on opposites day. Todd is what I'll go so tiny on Opposites Day, Todd. All right, so let's just go around the circle

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and you kind of just do like the sort of the little, like hands like Target Lady Kristine Wig's Target lady character.

0:04:12 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, at any work to do their own thing. That's my character that she ripped off for. May

0:04:17 Unknown Speaker #1

I've started to do rail. What is this about

0:04:21 Unknown Speaker #3

getting to know each other? All right, great question. We're getting to know each other a little bit here because you probably all know each other in one certain context. Like you, sir, that asked that question. What is your job here?

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I'm a mailman.

0:04:34 Unknown Speaker #3

So the mailman does the team building. That's great.

0:04:37 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. No member.

0:04:38 Unknown Speaker #4

That's not working here, Todd. He just comes here once a day.

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What do you talk about your mailman?

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So you're just a moment

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male male with

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a mailman doesn't work at every business. He delivers mail to

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my name is Karl Malone.

0:04:56 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, now, this is a big thing. Here is a lot of people that were doing improv in theater games that we have to be funny right away. Uh, is your name really Karl Malone? I don't know if you're OK. You did. So I'm sorry to make fun of you then.

0:05:12 Unknown Speaker #5

His name is like the basketball player, Karl Malone, and we call on the mailman. Also, I, of course, and desire ballplayer called Karl Malone.

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Yes, your it's a mailman. Karl Malone. No relation and decorum alone

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and be Karl Malone from the Utah Jazz.

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Yeah, I work here, by the way. Way

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Mailman is insisting he works here.

0:05:38 Unknown Speaker #3

And Mr Mailman, What is your name? Um, Keith. Okay, Keith took a little bit. Okay, I do. I'll do it on before I say my name sometimes. Just in case. I think I'm about to be served or

0:05:53 Unknown Speaker #1

so. Yeah, exactly. I do work here, but I don't want to get in trouble, so let's say Keith.

0:05:58 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, great. So we've got Keith the mailman, Karl Malone, who looks who has the same name as the NBA player, the Kremlin and then the mailman. Karl Malone from the Utah Jazz. So let's do again. I'm, um, doodle hand moving a teeny on opposite ST TOB.

0:06:15 Unknown Speaker #2

Creepy Carl butt slap. Great. Love it. Crappy keys. Okay. All right.

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Every question. Can we use any word, or do they have to start with the letter of our name?

0:06:35 Unknown Speaker #3

It could be it could be a literate, a literate of also suggest the same sound. If you would like to change

0:06:44 Unknown Speaker #4

crazy Keith. And I'm gonna go with Kraft macaroni and cheese, Carl. But

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I love it. Love the butt. Slap a deal. Let someone know you're

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not, and I'm gonna go with, um cook.

0:06:59 Unknown Speaker #3

Carl. Okay. Ah, good. This is my kind of crew. So going around here, Uh, just I'm loving the vibes here. Uh, sometimes, you know, you get usually get some somebody from HR in here. That's kind of trying to block you down. But that's me. Your car, Malone. You're in a chart out.

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And by the way, Carl, we got to talk about the but slaps there.

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Really anything you need to talk to me about her?

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Uh, just that you're not gonna get a paycheck. That's a song. You

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know, I live. I just don't see why

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you have a fully

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packed little thing. You push with mail in it. That little?

0:07:48 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, That little cart dominates this for you guys.

0:07:52 Unknown Speaker #3

This will move us into our next exercise. So let's stand across from each other and would just quietly make eye contact. And this is just about getting comfortable with each other as humans. And you make eye contact, take a little natural moment, and then whenever is comfortable for you, make an observation about the person across from Okay. So most I'll start. I'm across from Karl the mailman and called We'll get in a neutral position. Of course, won't hold eye contact with you. Because if I don't like to be dominated, Um, but imagine we are. And just make an observation about me whenever it's comfortable. Karl the mailman or Karl Malone? No relation. 20 year old man, Not the n b. A mailman, the literal mailman who doesn't work here. Okay, I know. That's Keith. My mistake

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way. I have

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a lot of male men.

0:08:50 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, well, let's stand across from each other, neutral and whatever's whatever you struck with you. Uh oh.

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Big dress fall from Keith. Oh, I'm healthy. Keith's head went into

0:09:04 Unknown Speaker #4

the wall, dented some of

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the the drywall. Oh, unhealthy was my observation.

0:09:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Your observation was unhealthy. And then you went into trust falls. Yeah. Okay. All right. That's great. I love thrown surprises that everyone Look, eso We've got this dent in the wall. I'm not paying for this. This comes out of someone else's paycheck or something. But I

0:09:33 Unknown Speaker #1

can't believe my coworkers didn't catch me. By the way, you we've worked here, lived together for years.

0:09:42 Unknown Speaker #5

Let's the Keith I'm sorry. You also fell into the guy who's instructing this. You didn't fall into your co workers who were behind like it's not our fault. It's got week. Okay,

0:09:51 Unknown Speaker #3

I'm with mailman. Keith. I'm not weak. I'm frail. Um, I'm with mailman. Keith. Here. You should be able to catch your partners. When I do plays, people fall down or so are some of the cast members fall down all the time. Ah, and you have to be ready no matter where on stage. Those people are falling down.

0:10:10 Unknown Speaker #5

It sounds like maybe the person who's falling down is you and your falling into your castmates.

0:10:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Good observation. Kamil on the NBA's mailman. But the officers hr rep, Let's have caramel on. Stand across from Karl Malone and we'll do a little quick little neutral eye contact. Absolutely. And this is not a trust fall.

0:10:27 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay? Not a trust fall. I understand. Okay. Yeah. Um tall.

0:10:37 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. All right. Great. Good. That's I mean, Hey, that's true. Um, and

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make observation about Karl Malone.

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Um, dressed of

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all dressed Boston carve alone and key. Oh. Oh, went down. Oh. Ah. What was behind me? Well, if they're doing it up Ah, eyes, many TV in here.

0:11:12 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, so you fell on a That's my

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ticket in the walls.

0:11:18 Unknown Speaker #3

You feel in my portable TV? Because right now, my iPhone isn't working, so I don't get you tube and stuff like that. And so you fell on my phone attachment. That's not coming out of my money here. Someone's gonna have to pay me for that gnome or trust falls. All right, let's move on to a new exercise of trust. No, Keith on that ball delivered my mail to may.

0:11:41 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay? All right. I have been left hanging three times. Now it looks like you've been served. Teach

0:11:49 Unknown Speaker #3

God damn it. What is this? Uh, I'm being sued by the last company. I did these four. OK, moving right along. Everybody here wears too many close. What if we also each other naked with a whoa each other

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way? I Yeah, I have to step in. Okay. Come

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on, Carballo. Just

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know Karl Malone, HR. We all know that you're not in your peak nineties body anymore. Sure. No, Dad used to look great, and it doesn't matter what you look like. The point is, once we've seen each other naked, then we've revealed everything and we can trust each other on a day to day work basis. So what we do here is we take off our clothes and then we have what? What's an argument that's come up at work or a disagreement recently? Um, here at the office.

0:12:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Coffee, too. Um, strong.

0:12:51 Unknown Speaker #3

Strong. That's a very, very common one where I work. Uh, all right. So who is making the strong coffee?

0:12:59 Unknown Speaker #2

Keith? Keith comes in here like a raucous pot way on a

0:13:09 Unknown Speaker #5

picture of the face he was making. What we said that it was so obvious is him.

0:13:12 Unknown Speaker #2

I do wonder one

0:13:15 Unknown Speaker #1

I do wonder one water for coffee and it's fine.

0:13:20 Unknown Speaker #5

OK, But you do you do coffee enough coffee grounds to fill a cup of coffee? You don't do it. You take a mug of coffee grounds, Pac

0:13:29 Unknown Speaker #1

eight ounces of mug, eight ounces of water that's not one to

0:13:33 Unknown Speaker #5

1121 would be the scoop that comes with the coffee ground. That's that's a one. And then you put in a cup of a cup of one's

0:13:41 Unknown Speaker #4

actually eight parts water. One part coffee, probably.

0:13:45 Unknown Speaker #1

Really. So I'm doing it backwards.

0:13:48 Unknown Speaker #3

Keith, have you ever had a coffee at a friend's parents house where you said yes to it after a dinner? And then when they handed it to you, Realize they don't make coffee the way you like it?

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I don't like coffee. I don't drink. You know, you

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made you to make a psychotic elixir and then getting the hell out of here.

0:14:10 Unknown Speaker #3

Keith, I'm gonna pull down your khaki shorts. Will this continue?

0:14:16 Unknown Speaker #1

Anybody allow it.

0:14:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Whoa! Pretty sick. Damn, Keith,

0:14:25 Unknown Speaker #1

You talking about my cheeks in the hog

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booth, baby. Oh, that's what I'm looking for. Oh, it's a

0:14:34 Unknown Speaker #5

pretty impressive You could see the hog from the back while you're looking.

0:14:37 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Calm alone. Now can I work here?

0:14:42 Unknown Speaker #4

What do you say, Carl?

0:14:44 Unknown Speaker #5

I mean, okay, Yes, it thick. Well, half of fire are all file. Have to fire a current mailroom person. Which wouldn't be a bad idea.

0:14:54 Unknown Speaker #3

No, don't fire! Don't fire him. Uh, what? Why don't fire the mailroom guy. Why I

0:15:02 Unknown Speaker #2

can get under that shirt.

0:15:05 Unknown Speaker #5

No, I'm gonna fire cod. He's not a good mail guy.

0:15:07 Unknown Speaker #3

No, no, no, don't Fire pushed off our card. He fish

0:15:11 Unknown Speaker #2

guy. It's funny. It doesn't find anything. I brings in fish every day to cement his nickname. Yeah, it's ridiculous. He should have

0:15:20 Unknown Speaker #4

just if he's lying about his name. Just change the name to something you don't have to bring fission to justify.

0:15:27 Unknown Speaker #2

And it's not justifying the name. What? What does he say

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when he brings it in? Everyone calls me cod, right. You

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know what? I'm gonna go to the mail room and I'm gonna get the fish out. I'm gonna go to the mail room and I'm gonna get him and I'm a fireman.

0:15:45 Unknown Speaker #3

Don't do that. You bring him up here Beautify, actually.

0:15:50 Unknown Speaker #1

Hang on, Todd, your phone's ringing.

0:15:52 Unknown Speaker #3

This is good timing, because yeah, I'm getting a phone call here after I got to go the bathroom. So

0:16:01 Unknown Speaker #1

why are you changing really fast as you leave the room?

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I'm way happening. I'm a little

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deny reality in front of us.

0:16:09 Unknown Speaker #3

I wore too much wool. I work too much wool, and I'm a little edgy, so I'm really And that is true little bit. And I'll see you guys later.

0:16:17 Unknown Speaker #1

All right. See you. This class is actually really informative, right?

0:16:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. I don't know if we should pull down already. There. You look pretty good. You look pretty good, but thank you so

0:16:30 Unknown Speaker #1

much. Brief Cesaire. New briefs

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right here, is it? Oh, God.

0:16:35 Unknown Speaker #3

You guys call me cod. Right? So that's why I got some of these fish here.

0:16:38 Unknown Speaker #5

Okay. Hey, Cod. I was inspired by something that just happened. Honestly, everybody wanted me to do this because you you microwave fish every day. BU Yeah, but Todd,

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what is my microwave? Sushi

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is there's a lot of reasons, but that's one of them. That's one. It's a It feels like assault. A lot of people call it in itself.

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it needs needs assault.

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And it's no, it's microwave sushi. I put a soy sauce off it.

0:17:15 Unknown Speaker #5

Okay. What? God, you've been We really appreciate everything you brought to the table.

0:17:18 Unknown Speaker #3

You can't fire May. You can

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too late to It's too late.

0:17:23 Unknown Speaker #3

You want? I'll get you more control of the mail you want, baby.

0:17:27 Unknown Speaker #5

Whatever. You're our man. We got a new male.

0:17:29 Unknown Speaker #4

This is keep humiliating down. You're

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also do lose Major male. You'll send your out of printer paper.

0:17:37 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh, yeah. Okay. There you go, dear. Ah Karl Malone. You were never good enough in the playoffs to make it over the home.

0:17:49 Unknown Speaker #5

Get the hell out of here. You need to get

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way caving. Listen, I'm gonna

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kick your ass out the window is what's gonna happen

0:17:59 Unknown Speaker #2

on Don't know. Always get booed about the window. Yeah, I don't know if they get caught out the window. I'll tell you spot at work. Yeah, Here comes. Are

0:18:10 Unknown Speaker #5

you ready for

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you? Ready for the chemically caught up on that T

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above the T putting ability.

0:18:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Karl Malone Looks like he knows a lot. What? He's doing it with a football kick here.

0:18:22 Unknown Speaker #4

And 22 steps backward. One to the right.

0:18:27 Unknown Speaker #2

Who is Lefty? Oh, here he comes. Oh, um, writes long them off upright. Oh, the upright back. You you about solving them back in. He about going back in? He's got a letter. Another letter? Wait where this is Wig came off beside a wig. What? It? Because it's separate from your your oh, down a teacher. Oh, Tone. Oh,

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no. Oh, let's see my face in this

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fish. Who?

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Oh, your face is

0:19:14 Unknown Speaker #2

covered. Trying t five fire. You stink. Did three Mrs Fish Face Oh, are you here to? We don't have kids. I'm here to pick up your kids because we have a chair like this is my

0:19:30 Unknown Speaker #4

baby sitter. Guys. Sorry.

0:19:32 Unknown Speaker #5

Are you serious? You really don't know?

0:19:35 Unknown Speaker #4

My ex boyfriend is like, never showing up and I got

0:19:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Maybe you should take him back. Maybe you should take him back and give now He says so. Baby

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sitter is Mrs Fish Face. Thing

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is my baby sitter. Mrs. Fish Face. But I hate my

0:19:55 Unknown Speaker #5

ends. Boyfriend. Who's your back with him? Who's your ex boyfriend?

0:19:59 Unknown Speaker #2

You should take him. Todd. Todd by J. D. So

0:20:02 Unknown Speaker #5

the guy who was just teaching his classes. Your ex

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boyfriend? Well, yeah.

0:20:07 Unknown Speaker #4

I mean, he sucks, but I'm not I

0:20:09 Unknown Speaker #1

It was really nice to you to keep it professional.

0:20:11 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, yeah,

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I'm at work. I'm not gonna HR is in here. Calm alone. Like I'm not gonna be weird.

0:20:17 Unknown Speaker #2

That's very good. And probably the way he taught this made you realize he is a good dad. Do your kids. And you missed him. I guess he

0:20:25 Unknown Speaker #4

was. Okay, But listen, Mrs Fisheries, have they didn't you need to have them eat dinner? I'm gonna go out tonight.

0:20:31 Unknown Speaker #1

Something about it was really comforting.

0:20:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Who are you going on with tonight? Just another

0:20:36 Unknown Speaker #4

guy I met at the ah at this farmer's market this weekend.

0:20:43 Unknown Speaker #2

No joint three guys at the farmer's market this week.

0:20:46 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, I met a lot of men at the Farmer's Market. Mrs. Fish Face. Just go home, take the kids home.

0:20:57 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. Well, just out of curiosity, where is that day gonna be tonight? Why do you

0:21:02 Unknown Speaker #4

always ask me so many questions About my day? Enough, Mrs Fish Vase.

0:21:11 Unknown Speaker #2

I need help with my Children. Vicious fish face. You've overstayed your welcome. Yeah, Go care for the kids. Go, Mrs Fish Face. Go! OK, Ford food Just up. What are you, just two kisses Emergency with the kids. Give me a Me where the data is sent me a pin on Google maps Where there s so I know where the date is. Mrs. Visions,

0:21:35 Unknown Speaker #4

You always show up to my dates, okay? And and like, make trouble at them. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm trying to meet somebody new.

0:21:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Maybe you need any baby sitter. No, no, no. This is

0:21:50 Unknown Speaker #4

honestly you. I think I need to fire you. Mrs Fisheries.

0:21:54 Unknown Speaker #2

You're fired. Oh, twice in one day matches. My first firing over the dead. Take this fish off your face lot. Todd.

0:22:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, no. Um

0:22:12 Unknown Speaker #4

Todd, you are Miss Fish face The whole time

0:22:18 Unknown Speaker #3

I was Miss Fish Face.

0:22:19 Unknown Speaker #1

Todd, why do you have that U S P s male patch in your hand? Did you rip that off of my cart?

0:22:26 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. Uh, sorry. I was Miss Fish face. I was cod. Podd Tadre. Is that what it was you got? Yeah, you're both And I was going to steal your identity to Keith. Uh, is what I would say on opposites day. I was none of those things. I'm just me Mrs Fish Face has left the room. Um, any kind of outfit? Similarities now is coincidental.

0:22:56 Unknown Speaker #4

You just barely wiped some of the fish off your face and you still have on your stay heels.

0:23:02 Unknown Speaker #3

So what did we learn today?

0:23:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Listen, I think you're badly hurt. You're

0:23:07 Unknown Speaker #4

badly hurt from bonding off of the field goal.

0:23:11 Unknown Speaker #2

You need to go to the hospital.

0:23:13 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh, well, I would, but I'm persona non grata there.

0:23:16 Unknown Speaker #5

Let me call. You know what? At what hospital? All well, you've

0:23:21 Unknown Speaker #2

been blacklisted from your persona non grata. Are you serving

0:23:27 Unknown Speaker #4

cheese and baked at these hospitals?

0:23:30 Unknown Speaker #5

No, he's not. He's non gotten.

0:23:33 Unknown Speaker #2

You're not.

0:23:35 Unknown Speaker #3

I'm just persona non grata. And so I'm just persona in that so unseasoned. No cheese right out the oven.

0:23:42 Unknown Speaker #2

No wonder you're not healing. Get out of way. Have to

0:23:48 Unknown Speaker #5

get back to work, Todd.

0:23:50 Unknown Speaker #2

Now we all dio

0:23:52 Unknown Speaker #3

alright. What? Thanks for having me and I, of course, take payment up front right now and we'll call it that.

0:23:58 Unknown Speaker #5

You know it upfront means you already You tendered services already.

0:24:02 Unknown Speaker #1

You didn't hold back. You're not paying you've been tricked. We didn't like your team building exercise. You're not getting paid. We don't understand the value of teamwork. This?

0:24:15 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, the people speak for all of us

0:24:17 Unknown Speaker #3

is really bad. I got like, I need the money. I've been fired from two jobs today. I need this

0:24:24 Unknown Speaker #4

here. Just go around. We'll give you what's in our pockets. Yeah.

0:24:28 Unknown Speaker #1

At this point, just from a completely independent person who doesn't know you, I I really think your best business option might be to stay as Mrs Fish face.

0:24:38 Unknown Speaker #4

Glad I'm not. Now that I know I'm not hiring Mrs Fish race back like now.

0:24:45 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, I'm out of here. I'm out of here.

0:24:47 Unknown Speaker #4

All right. So yeah. Uh, he's what a day. Good God. Well, I was thinking we should follow up with one of the accounts yesterday.

0:24:56 Unknown Speaker #2

What do you say they need a new nanny? It's me, Mrs Card hat. Oh, I actually I actually am

0:25:04 Unknown Speaker #4

looking for a new nanny. I was good. Well, we're and I had one. Why doesn't

0:25:10 Unknown Speaker #2

he come

0:25:10 Unknown Speaker #4

in here? I have a have a I have a date tonight and I I

0:25:21 Unknown Speaker #1

I think she has a date Waas.

0:25:24 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, we were going to go out, Teoh that this Tank e grill. It's like, remember the stinking rose? Yes, it be closed down. And now it's the stinky grill.

0:25:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Is a garlic seemed or just everything. Smell stay.

0:25:45 Unknown Speaker #4

What date? The stinking rose was garlic, but now they just kept the stink part of it. But garlic went its separate ways.

0:25:56 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, that's great. I happen to know a waiter there. Um, so maybe he'll be your waiter tonight. Uh, Okay. All right. I'll take your kids and I'm out of here.

0:26:08 Unknown Speaker #4

All right, Zia.

0:26:10 Unknown Speaker #5

Okay. I have a reality to get back to work. This this This went way longer than it was supposed. Teoh.

0:26:15 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, We should re book one of these. That means something.

0:26:19 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, way you do some research and find some

0:26:22 Unknown Speaker #1

on the lid. I'm on the

0:26:23 Unknown Speaker #2

we loop me in.

0:26:24 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, I mean now, Keith, your new mailman are actual in in building mail, guy, because I I I fired Todd Tadre. So you lost. You want if you want it, the job's yours. Um OK, yeah. And maybe you're here today