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mini-56
Doctor's Office

Three men loiter around a local doctor's office waiting room.

0:00:00
spk_0
 

All right, folks. Well, we're running a little behind. Dr. Alex is running a little behind. But if you just thank you for being patient will try to make sure you get to your appointments as soon as possible. Obviously, appointments first, and then we'll work with walk ins as well. Just make sure your insurance card.

0:00:21
spk_1
 

Have you guys always done appointments

0:00:23
spk_0
 

for the doctors office?

0:00:25
spk_1
 

Yeah, because I've always done walk in. And I didn't know if you could do appointments

0:00:28
spk_0
 

for a doctor. Yes, it's been pretty standard for most of dr history. Uh, because

0:00:34
spk_1
 

I always get my hair cut with just a walk in, and I figured, doctor hair Cut guy, Same thing.

0:00:41
spk_0
 

Well, we'd like to think that the haircut guy is important, but maybe that the doctor is a little bit more of a specialized degree. No extra school. Excuse me. Are you excusing yourself because you just burnt barge into somebody or because you would like to talk site? You say you like stop foot?

0:01:03
spk_2
 

It happened to line up perfectly. So excuse me to you for stepping on your foot and excuse me. Yes. Do you have the most recent

0:01:15
spk_0
 

motor trend. Oh, sir, I remember you. You have to actually see the doctor today. This is not a magazine library,

0:01:24
spk_2
 

Okay? But I need to know about the new Lamborghini. I am going to get a Lamborghini.

0:01:32
spk_0
 

We would do. Okay, I think I'm not meant Teoh editorialize here. But I think we can all look at you and see that you're not gonna be able to get a Lamborghini

0:01:41
spk_3
 

Lamborghini guy and t vis o. Well, get ready to scan. I ask my question now.

0:01:49
spk_0
 

Yeah, real quick. Does do look like t buzz. Also, it looks like they're knock off TV.

0:01:54
spk_2
 

Okay, well, just Well, there's no front hatch s o. They get a little flappy up front, but there is an ankle. No wonder

0:02:05
spk_0
 

you stepped on someone's foot. You've got no control down there. Okay? So I'm assuming you don't have the most recent most we do. It's right there. It's right there. You

0:02:14
spk_2
 

know it was hiding. Yeah.

0:02:18
spk_0
 

Uh, sir, what was your question

0:02:20
spk_3
 

when I walked in here, I said, Can I go to the bathroom? And the receptionist said We don't have one. And then I saw someone come out and give her a bathroom key. So I'm wondering what was going on, Why I was denied a bathroom that you clearly have

0:02:35
spk_0
 

while, um, you'll have to speak to the receptionist. But if I had to guess, it's because last time you were No, no, no, don't talk about it. Don't don't know. I know. Don't you like your doctor? Patient way Checked on this, actually. And that's not within the purview of Doctor Patient what you did in there, which is nothing. Okay, well, so that's probably the reason that's OK then

0:03:02
spk_1
 

I rest my case, since

0:03:03
spk_2
 

we're just

0:03:04
spk_1
 

popping around asking questions, I got another one, Actually,

0:03:07
spk_0
 

this is actually part of the reason why we're running so late is because every time I make an announcement, it turns into a Q and A

0:03:13
spk_1
 

well, sorry. Listen, open the door and the water's coming through. Baby, listen, So I wish

0:03:19
spk_0
 

you feel my friend over here would know a thing or two about that.

0:03:24
spk_1
 

Do you guys have one of those little catalogs? That sort of shows you all the different procedures you can get s so you can kind of go in and go to the doctor back? I want to get this one. You mean a menu? You guys have a menu like, uh, you know, like Supercuts does.

0:03:41
spk_0
 

This is more of a, um your g p a general practitioner. Pediatrician.

0:03:45
spk_1
 

I don't care what you guys do

0:03:47
spk_0
 

well, so we don't do a lot. You do need to to answer this question. We don't do a lot of procedures on people at this office. Uh, we do have right there. It's a menu of all the other places in town. You can B y o p for a procedure. So if you see a procedure for one of the bring in my own procedure yeah, you could come in and request it will give you a referral.

0:04:08
spk_3
 

E y o my OPI today and they wouldn't let me.

0:04:13
spk_0
 

Yes, sir. Do you want to talk about it? Do you not want to talk about

0:04:16
spk_3
 

I don't want anybody now hard in me

0:04:20
spk_0
 

because you have to speak or because you accidentally sat down on somebody else. Just

0:04:25
spk_2
 

happens to be both. Are you gonna finish that?

0:04:32
spk_0
 

What were you asking you? Am I gonna finish my drum? Beatrice, are

0:04:39
spk_2
 

you done with it?

0:04:42
spk_0
 

I drink it throughout the day and not to be offensive. But I know what you're coming in for. And I don't want you to share the same. Uh, What's a hot Jamba Juice? Yeah. What would even hot Jamba Juice get all day? Well, yeah, it kind of melts a little bit, but keep because in the styrofoam, it keeps the cool.

0:05:01
spk_2
 

You're sick. That says mumba juice. Yeah, I take a class later. A member class. Did you get a Mumbai?

0:05:17
spk_0
 

I'm single. So I've been signing up for some clad dance classes, and I'm doing Mumba, uh,

0:05:22
spk_1
 

got hosed by a dance. Instructor said you got to drink this to be good at their dance.

0:05:26
spk_0
 

Yeah, this is part of the whole routine as I drink the mumbo juice and it makes you better at Mumba

0:05:31
spk_2
 

Isn't a classic move or or is it close to samba rumba?

0:05:38
spk_0
 

Okay, this is my big stories. That mambo Mumbai, Mumbai is nothing like mumbo rhombus, rumba rhombus or any of that mumbo jumbo.

0:05:51
spk_3
 

What if I told you I wore a diaper here today because I was afraid of what was gonna happen

0:05:55
spk_0
 

to me. I'd say I could have told you that I could have guessed.

0:05:59
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah? What do you mean by that? You can see it through my khakis.

0:06:04
spk_0
 

Yes. Look, if you need to use the restroom, you can Okay? I'll let you use it. Just make sure that one flushes always enough. 20 flushes just makes it worse. And if it gets all fucked up, don't turn the try to turn the water off yourself. Okay?

0:06:21
spk_1
 

Tonight. Can I ask you a question? Since it seems like it's gonna be a while,

0:06:25
spk_0
 

but by the way, is the last question. Last question.

0:06:28
spk_1
 

Okay, well, says you I I'm just feeling like, a this point. It's probably gonna be a while before I get to see this guy s. So I'm wondering if maybe like, ah, would you guys recommend me? Just sort of like taking a doctor kit home and letting my girlfriend dio do the appointment instead of me staying here.

0:06:49
spk_0
 

This is not like a haircut. And even if it was, you don't They don't give you a haircut kit at the haircut place to take home. It would be if

0:06:56
spk_1
 

you could get him on Amazon. I can't get a doctor kit on Amazon

0:06:59
spk_0
 

Well, wouldn't eso you want a kit to take home to be diagnosed? What do you in for? I don't want aspects in front of everybody. I

0:07:06
spk_2
 

don't

0:07:06
spk_1
 

care. I'll tell everybody.

0:07:08
spk_0
 

Okay. What is it? My whole

0:07:10
spk_1
 

It's is itchy. I think I got I think I got dry exam on my

0:07:15
spk_0
 

bottle. Eggs around your butthole. Okay. You know, I probably wouldn't want my girlfriend if I was your girlfriend. I wouldn't wanna have to diagnose that for you. Does she have

0:07:25
spk_1
 

a vulnerable with your significant other? I You don't let yourself get there with.

0:07:30
spk_0
 

Like I said, I'm single. That's why I'm taking rumba classes. Uh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I medicine, sir. Rest run by meant Mumba, by the way, uh, are you sorry, sir? Are you saying sorry, sir? Because you'd like to speak or because you accidentally just started holding somebody else's hands.

0:07:51
spk_2
 

Both It happens to be both. Are these extra? They do. You have too many of them. These the magazines? No. These

0:08:07
spk_0
 

little kids. Colorful toy thing where you move all the things around different colors. Ah, different.

0:08:13
spk_2
 

Yeah, I these extra Do you have too many?

0:08:17
spk_0
 

What if the answer was Yes. What would you want it for?

0:08:22
spk_2
 

Uh, my kids you have during our last interaction. You said no offense, but I know what you're coming in here for you. I know what you've come in here for. Is it because of the Lee Asians affiliations on my my

0:08:46
spk_0
 

lips, lips and face? Yes. And legs? Yeah. Though it is a little bit because of the lead lesions on your body.

0:08:55
spk_3
 

I thought I was told that the Asians, their meeting

0:09:01
spk_0
 

places I see Well, we'll see when you get diagnosed. I don't think you have meeting places all over your body

0:09:08
spk_2
 

or people. People. I was told that they are by who? Lush by their wounds that help you in another country. Sh I

0:09:28
spk_0
 

got a good sir one Bush. Herpes shouldn't clog

0:09:33
spk_2
 

bythe, sir. Sir, we could hear you. Yeah, just a second.

0:09:43
spk_3
 

I'm just taking a, uh,

0:09:44
spk_2
 

number one food. Free water and no open the three water.

0:09:50
spk_0
 

Why would the water be leaking out from underneath the bathroom door?

0:09:53
spk_3
 

I just take off your shoes. That'll stop it up. Do you mind? You stop

0:09:58
spk_0
 

is using his socks to stock up the water. Lush Stop exert.

0:10:04
spk_1
 

Do you guys do a free hair washed before your, uh, you get the thing done. Eyes. This is this guy in there getting his hair washed. If

0:10:12
spk_2
 

you're washing

0:10:13
spk_1
 

this other guy's hair before his appointment and I don't get a hair wash complementary with my procedure, I

0:10:18
spk_2
 

would be

0:10:18
spk_1
 

pissed off and you guys are gonna get back.

0:10:20
spk_2
 

You just here in the hair wash your not just doing their wash.

0:10:28
spk_0
 

You're not because you left your wig out here, sir, so

0:10:30
spk_2
 

way. Oh, this is nice. Let me try. No, it's not. I think this one clean wipe and flush. Oh, I'm so jealous. I'm I'm jealous. It is too. Jeez. I mean, look what I'm really working with. What? It's not lean. Why? I'm jealous. Sh Oh,

0:10:59
spk_3
 

God. Guy that was in there before me. Really? Really. Message. Oh, hey. Yeah, That wasn't you. Oh, I was in there just now, but I was trying to clean up what was did before me. I think I got most of it.

0:11:13
spk_0
 

Sir, I trusted you. I let you back into the bathroom assuming that you would have learned from last week.

0:11:20
spk_3
 

Well, I pay to come here, sir. So I think it's a service that I deserve

0:11:25
spk_0
 

was not. If you're gonna ruin it, that's coming. You know what? That's coming out of your insurance. I hope you have a toilet ruining Copei.

0:11:32
spk_3
 

No, I knows. I just got booted from my toilet. My toilet co pay. I just got booted because they said I used it too much.

0:11:41
spk_0
 

Well, you gotta pay up. You gotta pay out of pocket now.

0:11:44
spk_3
 

Crap. What's that cost? $2030. 1000. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. So you're sitting on my shoulders.

0:11:59
spk_2
 

Whoa, I'm way up here. This'll up here near me.

0:12:10
spk_0
 

The the one little part of the ceiling, The square little part that comes out.

0:12:15
spk_2
 

Yeah, the kind of, like light piece of styrofoam.

0:12:19
spk_0
 

Anything the I think we do need. That's what would you use it for?

0:12:25
spk_2
 

To put this Lamborghini poster on?

0:12:30
spk_0
 

You know, you ripped the poster out of the magazine. It's not your magazine.

0:12:33
spk_2
 

It's a coon Tosh. And I think you're gel ish. I'm

0:12:40
spk_0
 

not jealous that you stole a mega Lamborghini from our magazine and put it on

0:12:45
spk_2
 

course. Josh. Gel ish kun. Tosh gel ish

0:12:50
spk_3
 

riel. Question a really one. It's right. And it's medical.

0:12:53
spk_0
 

Yeah, I said last question a while ago. I need to put my All right. Put your foot down Island. Put it down,

0:12:58
spk_2
 

though, as you put it down with a a little flourish in front of you, Tom. A bus.

0:13:05
spk_0
 

Sorry about that. Well, it's part of what I've learned from Mumba. So what's your riel question?

0:13:10
spk_3
 

Is it true that if in the last six weeks you've breathed the air and Hamilton, you are going to die in a month?

0:13:20
spk_0
 

Okay, so there's a lot of rumors about the area, Hamilton,

0:13:23
spk_1
 

why I'm here to ah, apart

0:13:26
spk_0
 

from the Lea Asians. Well, that's what there's a lot of rumors going out on about this and we don't have a ton of fact. But it does appear that if you have breathed the air at least once in Hamilton, you will die in a month. And I'm sorry, Teoh. No, that

0:13:42
spk_2
 

is it because of Chernobyl West. You

0:13:49
spk_3
 

know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do this, but can I use your restroom? No. You know what? Rude? Let him. You're just going to refuse a paying customer?

0:14:01
spk_0
 

Absolutely not. No, it's unusable. Frankly, right now the water is is feet high, the the

0:14:11
spk_3
 

high. You mean ankle high.

0:14:14
spk_2
 

There's ankle high sewage in here and you're telling us it's unusable.

0:14:20
spk_3
 

Yeah, this is the point that I can't use

0:14:23
spk_2
 

the not head high. It's angle high suing.

0:14:28
spk_0
 

No wonder you have some really Asians.

0:14:31
spk_3
 

It's only ankle high feces in pp's. Let

0:14:35
spk_2
 

it use it. It's just ankle high, feces and PPS. All right. All right, gentlemen. Jealous. Jealous ship. The poster. You Father Jovan, your bump! Jealous? Now you're out of here. I'm I'm down the list.

0:14:56
spk_0
 

Your bumped. Okay, you're out of here trying. But you're bumped for Charo. Crowd arrows coming in.

0:15:02
spk_1
 

Hang on! Guys are bumped.

0:15:04
spk_2
 

I'm good Gucci huji because she has Gucci hoochie. I had sex with her. She has Gucci hoochie. I've seen it. How do you think I got these Lee Asians?

0:15:23
spk_1
 

Listen, buddy, if you're gonna bump these guys, you You must have some time before char. Okay, so can I just get a medium fade, please?

0:15:32
spk_0
 

Your 1% in the wrong place? Your

0:15:36
spk_1
 

way. Come on, You both his guys. You got time? Cut my hair.

0:15:43
spk_3
 

Come on, Go! Go to the bathroom. Let me have this.

0:15:47
spk_0
 

I'm not. I'm not coming here. You can't have anything for free and you can't use the bathroom. Let me have this. No, you can't take our couch cushion.

0:15:57
spk_2
 

What? Shin Hye, Who cares? Shin Hae, It's Jin Hai pp's And feces cares cares. Just let him go to the bathroom and let me have this water's rising way. Don't have much time. It

0:16:18
spk_0
 

also actually all we should We should evacuate.

0:16:21
spk_2
 

Okay. Hey, can you believe that

0:16:30
spk_0
 

when they built Chernobyl west and decided to call it that it would have the same exact

0:16:35
spk_2
 

right after Chernobyl? Yeah, There's already little air here, near the ceiling. Come on. But taking a big goal,

0:16:41
spk_1
 

You're gonna let me die? Looks like this

0:16:45
spk_0
 

Asbestos. That's asbestos.

0:16:47
spk_2
 

Cut his hair, man. Come on, You can have this.

0:16:51
spk_3
 

Tell me now. Tell me now I can use the bathroom.

0:16:54
spk_0
 

You can't use the bathroom.

0:16:56
spk_1
 

I guess you're gonna die wanting. All right,

0:16:58
spk_2
 

fine. You will not have our business anymore by

0:17:05
spk_0
 

That's not your hat, sir. That is not your hat.

0:17:08
spk_2
 

This is mine. It was on the hat home.

0:17:12
spk_0
 

Your and it's not your briefcase.

0:17:15
spk_2
 

Goodbye. You did

0:17:16
spk_0
 

not bring in 25 magazines with you.

0:17:19
spk_2
 

Wow, A single wipe. Oh, lucky, I'll just do it myself. You brought in your own clippers. Oh, damn. And you fucked it up fast. I'm committing to it. Love with a little more off the bottom for sure. A little bit of skin.

0:17:48
spk_0
 

All right, well, go away. All three of you go away.

0:17:51
spk_3
 

Way getting estimate on when the doc is gonna see.

0:17:54
spk_2
 

It's a lease. Who? Yeah. When's it out? Going to see is

0:17:59
spk_3
 

a professional office I've ever been in.

0:18:02
spk_0
 

Whose I'm here. I'm here. Sorry to keep you waiting. The doctor is in.

0:18:10
spk_3
 

Are you the doctor? You telling us that the doctors in?

0:18:14
spk_0
 

No. The doctor has been in for a while, but nobody could announce it because I was not here yet. I am now here, and the announcement and proclamation is being made. The doctor is in.

0:18:27
spk_2
 

Are you the doctors proclaim? Er the listen. We're sweet. Wash PPS sees. Whoa, whoa, That's working. Who keep flushing flush? Not working. It's me. You're worse. Well, listen, We're treading water in this feces and pp's. When can we get seen?

0:18:58
spk_0
 

Well, the doctor is in. And that's all I'm here to proclaim. Ah,

0:19:02
spk_2
 

back to that guy. We were talking to first

0:19:05
spk_0
 

high. Yes. Hi.

0:19:07
spk_1
 

Can that guy use

0:19:08
spk_2
 

clippers? Are doctors proclaim? Er cut hair?

0:19:13
spk_0
 

I mean, I'm an amateur, but I could I've been known to cut hair before

0:19:18
spk_3
 

doctors proclaim. Er, can I use the employee bathroom?

0:19:21
spk_0
 

Ah, I don't have the I don't have

0:19:26
spk_3
 

the key going to give me that bullshit. You didn't have. The key

0:19:29
spk_0
 

now is not that I don't have the marbles. I'm not cowardly, okay? I don't have the key.

0:19:33
spk_1
 

This guy has no

0:19:34
spk_0
 

marbles. I've got marbles. You've lost your marbles for sure. Okay, I did a stint in the nuthouse.

0:19:44
spk_2
 

We'll listen, but this I'm going back to work at your noble west, and it's got nothing to do with my skin condition. Okay,

0:19:53
spk_1
 

I'm gonna go. I have to go to I'm gonna go back to work at your Noble West as well.

0:19:57
spk_3
 

And I'm going to go home to use the bathroom like I always could have

0:20:03
spk_2
 

goodbye. And we will never be using this office. And yes, we will be writing a link. The Yelp review together one word at a time and it will sound a little something like this. How you already fucked up hat. Know how The first words What? Okay. 123 We singer, right? Shit. Let's try

0:20:37
spk_0
 

it. Okay. So far, we've got we How I what? We bazinga shit.

0:20:44
spk_2
 

That's call here. He did? Yeah. Colin, Dash. Too much punctuation. When here we get, uh, if you go in it all

0:21:04
spk_0
 

the same order the whole time. It helps if you're in the same order. That's my recommendation.

0:21:08
spk_2
 

Okay. Okay. Okay. We'll shut

0:21:10
spk_0
 

up. Shut it. Um, comma, when I hospital drama with bathroom and myself those two words,

0:21:27
spk_2
 

it hurts. Delete. So the lead has changed to hurt. You are. Come on. Okay,

0:21:46
spk_0
 

maybe no comments towards each other.

0:21:50
spk_2
 

You know, belief. I want one word. I don't delete my fucking word by word sticks. Are we a

0:22:01
spk_3
 

team or not?

0:22:02
spk_1
 

Let's start over. OK,

0:22:04
spk_2
 

let's start over. OK, start everywhere. Starting over. Ham sandwich is good to me before noon.

0:22:22
spk_0
 

Remember? This is your view of this doctor's office?

0:22:26
spk_2
 

Yeah. You say sandwiches good to me before noon, buddy. That

0:22:34
spk_1
 

first glance, man smells bad, period, buddy,

0:22:50
spk_0
 

starting your sentences. But ham sandwich. Tastes good. Move on from the sand or trellis hospital, Period him sandwich tastes good. Hospital. Pierre, Buddy Hams. Average taste hospital. Good, period. Close. Yeah. Listen. Okay. Hey, Addressing the audience. Make sure you have their attention.

0:23:29
spk_2
 

Guy, have you been eating? Ham gets away from the sandwich hospital. Delete. Come on. You know we're starting over.

0:23:49
spk_3
 

It was gonna be Have you have you? Have you eaten ham hospital sandwich?

0:23:53
spk_0
 

Where you

0:23:54
spk_2
 

were going to do this? We need to make sure we talk about ham sandwiches a lot.

0:23:59
spk_0
 

No, you don't. That's the issue. That's the issue, right?

0:24:02
spk_1
 

Hey, buddy, don't weigh in on your own yelp review, okay? Yes.

0:24:05
spk_3
 

Okay. Let me start with Let me start

0:24:07
spk_2
 

with okay, buddy, have hospital seen ham center? It's at ham Hospital, Buddy. Ham Burger. Delete Ham Hospital.

0:24:34
spk_0
 

That way. I think this guy is having a stroke. Actually.

0:24:38
spk_2
 

Had a fab lab. Yeah. No, that's helping. That's not Don't flush him. Big flush. Oh, no. It finally happened. The big one. The big flush. I was supposed to be prepared and sucking down everything that isn't that it's above toilet. Hi. Does anyone have a flush kit

0:25:06
spk_0
 

of the Internet kept saying to buy a flush emergency kit, and I just kept putting it off. I have one in my Amazon cart.

0:25:14
spk_2
 

Well, I guess this is goodbye. We're all going down the drain in the big flush. Tell my wife I should have married her.

Add your own RSS feed to enable audio playback.

Link should be in the format:
https://biggrande.memberfulcontent.com/rss/123456?auth=abc123