hello, and welcome back, Hamilton. Good morning. I hope you're having a wonderful wonderful morning. It is 04:35AM. And we are back. So put on your coffee and roast that oatmeal because it's another day in Hamilton.

That's right, Jeremy. We're so excited for this Monday morning folks. You know? Everybody says Monday's gotta be a bad day, but when It's Monday and you have a few ideas for what you're gonna do with your day. It's not so bad. So today, we've got a guest coming in to give us a few hints on what they like to do to keep their Monday interesting. So here he is. I remember they're just giving us hints have

to guess at home.

Right. So let's introduce our guest, Scott Morris. Scott, hi. How are you?

Okay. Not no no no clue there. We have to guess how he is. Now I'm thinking I'm thinking by Scott's sort of veiled look that he that he's doing good, but he's feeling a little nervous. Okay. He's feeling a little nervous. That's AAA2, of course, means yes and a okay. Oh, it's 2 words. And he's feeling fill me. Okay? Okay. Second word, movie, first word.

The first word is movie. Oh, see. If you're if you're worried about your Monday not being exciting, you could go see a movie. Of course, there's multiple movie theaters around Hamilton. So if you'd like to do that, you can do that. Awesome. That sounds like a great idea, Scott. Just a thumbs up from Scott. What is that? 5 0. What

is the director doing? What are we doing? What's the director doing? We're already on.

And great segment, guys. Oh, you're going. Segment, guys. Thank you. Commercial right then. And just to reiterate, you don't have to look at me and say, what is the director doing? He's counting down 43210. Whenever we go out. Okay. I'm just

gonna do that. I'm just confused because I'm so I know you're new and I'm used to the director counting as in and not really out, but I know you only do the opposite. So abruptly, the show starts and then I don't realize I have

to I have to open up to the end. Sir, that's a great note. I I should count you in and also out rather just rather than just letting you see the light on the camera.

We do have a teleprompter, so you could put some sort of text in there that sort of gives us a, like, good segue to a segment. It really does feel like at this point, we're just winging it. And I would love it if if

i hear you. I hear you. Okay. And unfortunately,

teleprompters

are expensive.

Well, we have a teleprompter. Yeah. Well, we have a teleprompter. I'm a little tired of that argument. It sounds like you just wanna count to 20. Because that's the other thing. The countdown does doesn't need to be You're on. You're on. You're on. Oh, welcome back to Hamilton 10. How

low? Let's take place.

Now, what are you doing right now? Let me guess. You're hungry, and you need a little breakfast. Right? But what do you do in the mornings before work when you don't have the time?

Great question. So maybe we could give you a couple of answers about what you might like to have for breakfast on a Monday morning. That's

right. We have on local Hamilton chef Big PD. Now big PD, what do you feel like cooking on an average breakfast? You know, before you're running out the door. Well, whenever today, Big Peety likes

to have a little just a little snack to get them through the day. And you know me, I'm a head chef at Big Peety's mess. You can come down to big PD's mess anytime you want. Day or night. Anytime. The fa the phone on the outside calls my home number. I'll come and I'll cook you a meal whenever you're hungry. So let's say It's enough.

Big, Peter, you say for breakfast, most important meal of the day, you're gonna have a little snack.

I'm gonna have a little snack for breakfast. Just something to get me through the day. So, you know, let's say there's a lot of health nuts out there now. So maybe a avocado toast with a little bacon on top, 3 eggs, and a scrambled egg.

Okay. So what now what now this is interesting. 3 eggs and a scrambled egg. I don't usually hear it said like that. Yeah. And what kind of eggs are the eggs before the scramble? That's a fantastic question. The first 2 are your choice. The third 1

is my mood. So you're always getting something different with Big PD. A guaranteed scramble on top. To your choice and won my mood. My mood will never be poached. I have not figured out the poached egg.

Interesting. Okay. So Big PD says, for a light snack in the morning, you want thick avocado toast 3 eggs and bacon. That's right. And am I doing the cooking segment?

I was a little confused over email. Am I cooking it here? We're just discussing the meal. We

just wanted a professional's opinion of what you like for breakfast. Okay. Because

i have all the supplies here. And you just wanna know what I like to

that's good. It's good for the audience to see him. Okay. We're going out. Okay.

So

the director's telling

us Hang

on. Hang on. But what do we do for the next 8 second? And we're out.

Okay, guys. Let's again,

i'm gonna count us down. Big, PD, thank you so much for coming in. I'm sorry. We could not afford the stove. Or any of the cooking

-- They're right there. -- contentious.

We've got the set.

We have the stove. We have the teleprompter. It seems like you just wanna insert yourself.

Once you them, you can't return them. So I want that option just in

case You're snacking on bacon.

Well, thank you, Big Petey. And his I had a snack. I had a snack this morning. I'm also gonna have a big PD snack for lunch, which I'm excited, which is 2 sandwiches, 2 orders of fries and fries.

Right?

That's right. There's 2 orders of fries and a French fries.

All I'm saying is we are up here and we're hosting

okay. Hello. What's up? What's up? I'm getting off camera. Yeah,

bro. Get out of me.

Okay, folks. You might be looking out the window right now and you're looking up into the sky and thinking Yeah.

What's

it gonna be like the rest of the day? So here with your weather, we've got your your weatherman, rainy BOort. Hi. It's Rainey Port with today's weather. Oh, welcome back,

rainey. Always good to see and another fantastic outfit as usual. Thank you very much. As you can see, I bought this. From the guy who has dollar signs all over his head.

And that is second hand. It's it's

that that is

the suit we've seen in the joke.

That's the 1 obviously we're a little bit different body type wise, but you get the gist. And now, Randy, can I ask you, what are you wondering? I'm wondering why did I end up in the only town that doesn't have much rain as a weatherman. The whole thing with my name Rainy Bortwood it was that it would be fun, you know. It's another rainy day from Rainy Bort. But I'm stuck here in another sunny day here in Hamilton.

But it is gonna be sunny. We we know that for sure. So everybody can prepare, you know, put on your sunscreen, tank tops, sandals, shorts, whatever you want. Keep the clothes minimal folks. Keep keep it minimal. Show us as little as much as possible. That's rainy boards style suggestion and of

course, let's dip into our favorite segment. We can all play. Where in the world is Al Roker?

Of course, this is a segment that we have ripped from the today show. And we just run it. We just run their video as part of our show. So we're gonna go ahead and cut to that now.

While it's playing, we can talk. Right? We can talk while it's playing. How long is the video? It's like 45 seconds. So we have 45 seconds. Yeah.

So

much rain It costs

a million dollars to get your licensing. So there's a

waste of money. That's a waste of money.

I still think that

i didn't love that you turned my pitch which was where in the world is my wife. Obviously, she's still missing and I'm looking for And I thought this would be a good way to find it. And you turned that into just stealing the Al Roker bit.

Really disappointing because he sounds like we had the budget to really try to find your wife. A

million dollars. Not to mention the prompter.

Unfortunately, this is the 04:30AM show. Okay? People want to be happy. Okay? If we start their days with once again, where's my wife? Last time I saw her, we were vacationing together, and then she was gone off the beach. She left her coconut there with the straw in it. Nobody wants to hear that. Okay? Alright? And we're back in 3, 2 actually, we're on.

Gosh. And welcome back, folks. Welcome back. You've already looked out the window. You've already had your breakfast, and you've thought about how early it is. Now what are you gonna do on that drive time commute? We're gonna go to the chopper copter and get the traffic right now. Here we are cutting

to Dewey on the chopper copter, Dewey? Once off, it's Dewey. I'm in my motorcycle gold helicopter. It's the chop copter, baby.

What?

Of course. Shout out to Orange County Choppers who have customized this skull and bones chopper for us.

Now we're having a little trouble getting off ground today with this 1. But I assure you once we get that high in the sky, I'll let you know just how the traffic is out there.

Alright. Thank you, Dewey. We will check back in if you ever get airborne.

We're

going out again. Okay. We're gonna

be out in 4 seconds, guys. So thank you so for watching this part of the segment, and we'll

see you next week. Just don't great job, guys. And you're awesome. I

think I did good. We're back tomorrow.

Hi. What's up? Lot going on this morning. We should probably get to a personal or a human interest piece that we've been working on for the last couple weeks. As you all know, the laundromat downtown personal

story. What? The personal story. That's

what we're doing. Not so we're doing

inches. No. The your personal life.

My person I'm not gonna talk with my personal life on camera. Do the personal

it will work. It will work.

Okay. Well, folks, I just went to the dock to check and see if I'm a good candidate for a vasectomy. Great. Elaborate. And What

was the status?

2 5 percent. Too tough to find. Absolutely.

Okay. Sorry for my assumption.

Why so early? Why so early? You're young.

Well

you're young, why so early?

They ran a few tests cognitive mostly, and they said that you know, the my genes are questionable. And so that unless

and what did they

say about your DNA?

My d my DNA was off We

know your we know your

pants suck. No. Okay. Yeah. They said they said that I don't have genes worthy of being passed on to another person, which I thought was an incredible thing for a doctor to say to a person. In

a bad way, once

you hand me down pants.

Folks, you can hear them. You can see them. This is our director. This is our director, Sammy.

No. No. You're standing on set. Raj. Okay.

Sammy's letting us know we're gonna get out of here soon, so it's been great

talking to you. Alright. Great job. Thank you so much. I'm actually liking

the count outs, actually. I feel like I can sort of rant to the commercial.

Can you

not

want to interview me about how we rebuilt the laundromat after the fire?

That's that was my intention, but instead our director wanted to hear about my humiliating vasectomy stories.

Mars Lars, unfortunately, we we need to do some personal stories so people can get to know the anchors that they trust and kinda have relationship with them. So you're getting cut. I also just got a call. It's on firing.

So no no no no. So

you probably wanna go. We have a we have a team over there. Alright. We're coming back in. We're going live to

the fire. Commercial

breaks are so short. Yeah. Well,

we we we only get advertisement for my pillow. So we just run those over

and over again. Alright. Alright. Go to the fire. Good morning, Hamilton, and we are back. Unfortunately, a huge tragedy where once was a fix. We cut to laundromat to see it fully ablaze.

Hi, Chris. Yes. A huge tragedy where once was a fix. We're down here at the laundromat. Large should be getting here winded any moment. He had just rebuilt was getting ready for the ribbon cutting, and, of course, 1 of the dryers caught flame. I am being told possibly some of the dryers weren't up to code and possibly had some lint leak out into the laundromat, which caught flame, which set the place ablaze. And here comes Lars. I think some of our viewers are wondering, did

you have anything do with the fire. We see you there holding a lighter in a gas can. And I'm just wondering, are you holding that for somebody or was that

a last minute bring? That's a great question, Chris. I was actually outside of the laundromat here when a man in a burglar costume came out not a fire, not a pyromaniac costume, a burglar costume. And he said, here, hold this for me, please, and he ran off. So I am holding what I think is the tools that were used. Hold on, Lars. Please. Give me a second. Please. Hold him back. We don't want him to put out the fires yet. Let it burn, Lars. Let it burn. So we are letting the laundromat here burn it could actually most of it be saved, but I think we're gonna let it burn. Oh, hang on 1 second.

We're getting some last minute news from the fire department, the fire department says they are not coming. Not coming. We're gonna work in the fire department. They do do that sometimes, Chris. And

it is based on whether they like the person who owns the business. And it seems like Lars could be I don't know, a dick around town. Let's get a let's get his side of the story. Lars, why don't you come in here? A dick around town. What a what? Lars, is it true that you cut in line at the buffet in front of some of the firefighters? And that's why this is happening. Well, They were up for seconds, and I was up for first. So it's not technically

a cut.

But Lars, they're hungry firefighters.

Oh, I'm hungry laundromat fighter.

You you shouldn't be fighting for life. But

yes, please, Chris. Can

i get an earpiece so I can hear him?

Here. I'll put my head to your head. Put your head to my head. Say it again, Chris? Well,

you're not a fighter. Well,

yeah. Oh, how come they could put fighter after everything they do, but we can't. Well, they

don't put it after everything they do. They put it after the 1 specific thing, we as a society pay them to do lots. They fight fires. I'm a dirty clothes fighter. Do you firstly, or do you just facilitate it? Okay. Shit. We're going out.

321.

Was once a fix. Goodbye. Alright. Great job, guys.

Great job. I don't know if that was a great job. I don't know. I'll tell you what, I feel like we're really firing on all cylinders this morning.

Yes. That was really good. So next up, we are going to go to the sports desk. Couple of big games last night. So we do want Roger to get a chance to talk before we go out. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Just feel free to throw right to Roger as fast as you can, and we're on. Roger?

Great. Hey. Good morning. And you're probably Roger wasn't quite ready.

Let's

see here. You're probably wondering where my Chris is back on you. Where my

okay. Give

him a moment.

Well, folks, we are just about to cut to our sports person. But as goes in sports, they pass the ball right back to us. So I'm gonna do a little juggling here and then serve it up to our man Chris with the sports. Chris? Yeah. I don't know when they're coming back to me. I think they

just got to Chris.

Roger, they're on you. Oh.

Roger. Yeah. This is Roger. Roger. Couple big games coming up this week. And a couple big games last night. You're probably just got to work. You looked out your window saw what it looked like outside. You had a nice drive to work. Then you got to work and talk to the shipper.

Button up your shirt. Your shirt's off.

Excuse me. Just go back, Chris.

Chris and Craig. Chris and Craig, we're back to you.

And we're back. Now if you'll notice my t shirt, it is clean and button. Now that's something that they offer at the store these That's

right. We've gotten button up t shirts, folks. Classic short sleeve, crew neck, with buttons down the

front. Now they sell this at the store as a way to look hashtag trashy but classy.

That's right. You put a sport coat over this. People won't even know the difference between this and sort 1 of those what are they called? Grandfather collars that have

just the

no the the the no collar at the top. It looks just as good. The materials are nice, fine, fine, sheer jersey And again, folks, hitting this on our Twitter or our TikTok hashtag trashy but class.

The hashtag is taking off.

Dash.

Thanks, taking off. Go back to Roger. Go back to Roger.

I'm Roger with your

what a great advertisement for the button up t shirt. Yeah, I wish I had 1 of those right now because clearly I am having issues with my button up trash dress shirt. Sorry.

I'm a

little flustered. Now, some big sports news and that the football team ran into the basketball team. That's right. The local Hamilton football team bumped into the Hamilton basketball team. While both doing a night on the town. Wow. They stayed up pretty late. They stayed up pretty late and I'm wondering how that's gonna to the games today since they're both playing in the mistimed state championship. This sports segment Excuse me?

I was just gonna jump in to clarify for people. Of course, the the playoffs this year got a little bit jumbled. So every sport is having their playoffs on the same day.

A lot of

competition on the sports field is what As everyone knows here in Hamilton, we forgot November, and it messed up

all of the scheduling for all the sports this year. Our apologies to Thanksgiving and veterans. We forgot November in Hamilton this year.

Yeah. You know, I don't know what happened. I was in a Halloween costume on the 30 first, guys of pilgrimage, of course. And I woke up on December first, and I was still in my pilgrim costume. And I don't know what had happened but I missed the month.

I

missed it. Yeah. Now if you're at home thinking, I sure did miss the month of November, and thank you guys for catching me up. It's time to go buy those Christmas presents. Alright.

Wrap up with the apologies.

Oh.

What? Wrap up with the apologies.

Okay. You know, we at the station course, and every episode with a list of apologies for coverage from the previous week. She would like mistakes. Right. We make we make a lot and we own each and every 1 of them. So first of all, we'd like to apologize for the Kroger on fourth Street or to the Kroger on fourth Street. Because we called it Freddie Kroger as a joke because we thought it was Halloween still, but it's not. It's December and we called the Kroger Freddie Kroger. So we'd like to apologize to Kroger.

To Kroger's, to be fair, you did have the store dressed up as Freddy Kroger. So we're apologizing for going too long, but not for the initial respect.

I would

also like to apologize to the KFC on Fourth and Poplar for knocking the bucket off the pole. I apologize and you're right. It doesn't look like a KFC anymore. I apologize.

And of course, I would like to issue an apology to everyone who was celebrating that young child's birthday in the park last Thursday. I didn't mean to be watching TV shows with on my phone, with the audio going through my car speakers so loud. I I was just trying to catch up on the last season of 30 rock I haven't seen it. And I was blasting the audio, and I ruined a birthday party because I have such an expensive and fancy sound system in my car.

Well, there was also a big complaint about the smell of your cooking that day. You were cooking on your engine as well.

That's right, of course. My my car is a sort of multi use thing. Okay. Stretching, stretching. Yeah. My III use my car for everything. It is Direct just getting directly into the bathroom. We're doing the schedule. My kitchen, my bedroom, my living room, A lot of people say, I live in my car. And I say, what are you talking about? I'm a news anchor. I am I have a home. Yes. Do I still have to I I already Okay. And what I'd also like to I'd like to also apologize to the man who came up to my car window. And said, hey, could you turn that down? You're ruining my son's birthday party. And to him, I apologize for not

right. Just scratching. For for

not rolling my window down and just saying, until you walked away, sir, I'm sorry. And I'll take 1.

I'll take another apology. Of course, as you can see, my haircut is fresh and perfect. I would like to apologize too. The cosmetologist that I sneezed all over her mirror. I'm very sorry, but I still think you did a great job on the haircut. And someday, someone's gonna clean off that mirror for you. I just know it.

Randy Bour here. I'd like to apologize to sleep for just calling it. Puzzy snow and that was a moment of weakness. And I do not stand by those words

or my life. You've grown a lot. You've grown a lot. And you've gone into therapy for this. I've gone towards therapy. Yes. Yeah. I'm sorry. You've gone into the building. And

i'm cured.

Well, folks, it's been another wonderful morning in Hamilton. We hope that we got your morning off to a nice relaxing straightforward start and we hope you have a beautiful day

out in town. Hi. I love my little pillow. I mean, look at this thing. This guy is my best friend. I love this pillow. Look at it. I sleep on it. It's even got a little mustache like me. Do you want a friend like my pillow? I know I do. And you know who my new friend is? Trump? Remember

that?

I'm friends with Trump now. Yeah. I was a crack head. Lost my mind. Started selling pillows, and now the president and I are friends while the world burns.

Welcome back, folks. Panel is Donald Trump. I'm supporting the My Pillow. Vote for My Pillow and vote for Donald Trump 20 20. That's

right. My Pillows has just been announced as the vice presidential candidate replacing Mike Pence. We've replaced Mike Pence. With my pillow, the same initials, so we didn't have to do much on the voting register.