hey, folks. Thanks so much for coming in today. I know it's a little short notice, but we we actually did have 4 teaching positions open up. In the last few weeks. And we kinda wanted to, you know, get them filled pretty quickly. So we decided to just sort of bring in a few people all at once just to sorta get a feel for everybody at once so that we know who might be a good fit for these positions. So thank you all so much for taking the time out of your Your schedules to be here. Appreciate it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thanks

for having us. Never been yeah. Never been part of a group interview before. Really interested to see how this goes.

They will play Do we all do we all hand our resumes? Just, like, 1 at a 1 at a time or you wanna just, like, with all 3 of them, just pass them over.

Maybe we'll just go around the horn here, and we'll all sort of give a sort of log line about who we

are, where we

come from. South Africa. Is that what you're talking about?

No. Okay. I see. Are you a history teacher?

I'm trying to be. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay.

Okay. Well, there that's good to keep in mind. Okay. We'll yeah. We'll just go around the horn, and and we'll we'll introduce ourselves, say, a couple of details about our history, and then we'll see where we go from there.

Okay. Well, I don't know if I'm on a time frame here, so I'll just go quickly. My name is is San at the sandy standard. I am a dialect coach, but I could also teach theater. And I won't hurt the kids. I won't beat them up, and that will be very helpful. To learning for them. And is it am I at time? You're not on the time. This is this is sort of open ended time Oh, I wish I had known that because I don't I I was a little I went a little passes along prepared. I wanna

say I'm also not gonna hurt the kids. I'm gonna jump in where he jumped in and Yeah. That goes, violence less teacher. Okay? All the parts of my life, sure. I'm violent. Absolutely. You know, that's what happens when you're an MMA teacher.

But

yeah. See you're right. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fight against each other may here.

Your focus is history, but you're also an MMA teacher?

Absolutely. In my free time, I do it on weekends.

And -- Oh, well, if that makes you a teacher, I can teach sinking a boat. If you do it a lot as a hobby.

Okay. I don't think we need that actually. Now

this, I'm curious about. What are you talking about, buddy?

And I'll throw in there, falling through your roof by accident is the only thing I can teach. Okay. Well,

i've sunk over 6

boats on accident. I'm

sorry. What's your name? Over

15 students. Okay. Not school students. MMA students. MMA students. Okay. Well,

hey, I guess that's that's free time. I only teach new kids.

A teacher who beats up his students. I

only will do really new guys because as soon as you teach them a lot, the power dynamic changes.

That's true. And what's your name, sir? Sorry. If you wanna be next to introduce yourself?

My name? Yeah. Buff Reynolds. My name's Buff Reynolds. I teach MMA. On the weekends and in weekday mornings, and I teach history at school. Okay. Great.

I'll tell you what when I'm So

you're unavailable weekday mornings?

Yes. From 6 to 10. From 6 to 10, I can turn in May. So I'm looking to draft noon history. Okay. So we could come in after 10. Is that the thing here?

No. Actually, the the school day runs from 8AM to 03:15PM, actually, every day. So and teachers are expected to be here until, like, 05:00 in the afternoon.

Hey, Bob. Are you out? Dang. Well, no. I'm still in, but dang, for sure. Dang. Yeah. I teach on a donation basis -- Okay. -- during the week. And so I'll

probably just

have to switch around my schedule anymore. I'll probably just start coming at 9 if that's

do you ever take it easy on your students with the hope that they'll donate more?

That's a good thought. No. Yeah.

I'd say if my teacher kicked the crap out of me, I'd be less likely to give them more money. Now that is smart. Do you teach econ? Well

okay. I think you could. It's

what I'm saying. Well, thank you. I'll go ahead and submit that mister principal. The the buff freddles, things I could teach ecomm.

Okay. I gotta say everyone on this side of the table, very impressed by. Principal, you haven't shown much to me yet, but I like Yeah.

What's your name? Okay.

Oh, very good technique here. Turn the interview around on him.

Yeah. Well,

what's your name and what are you looking for?

Well, that's actually that's a great question actually. My name is principal border, and I've been here at the school, actually pretty recently. I only was hired about a year ago. The school's trying to make some big changes. Can

i be honest with me for a second? What's your first name? I know your first name is in principle. I know I know it, and I do not wanna be lied Do you have

an embarrassing first name, is that why you didn't say it and you said possible?

I don't think it's embarrassing, but people have made fun of me for it before. My first name is Dil. Dill. No. Not Dill Finkles. Dill Border. My name's Dill Border. I've been a principal for the last 4 teen years, I used to work at another school. That

school slows down.

No. Is it is it do they make fun of you and they say, what's the big deal? And it's yeah. And you're tiny, so, like, not you.

Is that

what we're talking about?

That that they do make fun of my size. That is true. They don't say what Yeah. Because I

can barely

see you

behind that desk, Greg. Well,

yeah. Because I'm 5 foot 1 And

you use a small chair. I think we gotta get you a small chair. First thing I'm gonna do, when I work here, get you a real size chair.

Okay. This interview isn't about me, guys. III wanna learn more about you. Okay? So

we've got buffs, Sandy, I'm sorry, sir. What was your name? And I was in a rush before. My name is not Sandy Smith, but I'll let this gentleman speak. And

your name

was Sandy Sanders. Right? Sandy

stand, and I didn't remember because I made I was running so fast. Wait.

So that's not your name, sir. Any standard?

I was I was it was the first thing I saw was, of course, all the sand on the table. And still, I was trying to think of a standard name yet.

It's not embarrassing. Again, again, Sorry for the table being so Sandy today. Thanks. By the way.

I love

it. I love the whole beach theme in here.

Yeah.

You're a boarder. Thanks for your view. I would try it, by the way. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

No.

We just it's catch Fridays, we do a little party every day, every Friday. So we made it sandy. There used to be a couple of times.

You dress up your room too? Awesome.

I really love you. Casual also. I've

never felt so comfortable being interviewed by a man in a grass skirt with coconut breasts on.

That's right. You know? Not a coconut

bra.

That's supposed to be a bra. I always thought the joke was their coconut breast.

No. The bra You have

the bra's uncomfortable. Realistic coconut breast.

Yes. The bra was uncomfortable, so I took them

off. I've seen the ones that look like coconut bras. To me, these look like coconut breasts. I don't know what to say.

Well and and I think it's a

little crude that they're that they have milk coming out of them. Well, I

understand. Yeah. It's coconut water.

I

don't know if it affects my employment, but I don't think that's crude at all.

Well, we know you don't. You held a glass up to it when you got in here trying to get a little sip.

Yes, Sandy. Sandy standard?

I'm a little not my name. I'm a little dehydrated. When I get nervous, I get more dehydrated and more sweaty. I don't know if it goes.

It does.

If you must ask interviewer, my name

is Ralph Waters waters, but everybody calls me big shady. So

go

ahead

go ahead and call me big shady. Alright.

Big shady. That's unusual. Big shady. You look

like you could handle yourself. You ever been in a fight, bar fight -- Yeah. -- a parking lot fight.

I have. I have been beat to a pulp almost every weekend of every year I've been alive.

Wow. That's it. I did not see that coming.

I was gonna say, it is Friday, and you do look like you're on the mend at least

was Here's what I will say.

Every Friday, I am cruising for a bruising. That's what I will say.

Well, I'm wondering if it has it if if it's anything related to you sinking boats also. Is that when you're getting creamed is after you sink somebody's boat? It's it has a lot to do with it.

Wait. I'm sorry.

I'm pretty reckless on the water. Yeah. And you've been shady.

I've actually seen it. I've seen ads for you. You you you quote unquote borrow people's boats, but you tore you do tour guides, but people have to provide the

boats. Oh, I've seen for you too.

No. You've seen that fucking lawyer's ad, has your boat been sunk by big shady?

Oh, it's That's not my ad, I wish it was.

They're doing a transaction.

There's so many boats I'm seeking. There's multiple lawyers on the hunt for me. Oh, you gotta hire this guy. You've gotta hire this guy. He needs the job back.

Well, I don't know. Filmed the ad. Ricky May What did you think when you did the interview?

Well, I didn't know it was Ricky

mcGee in in a mustache, and he was interviewing me. And it's his law firm.

Yeah. And I I'll touch you that Gricky McGee is my cousin. I don't wanna this isn't this I I'm not affiliated with the lawsuits or anything like that, but just be careful. Ricky McGee had

a pretty slow his

law

firm again? He's with 2 other lawyers. Yeah.

Rickicky McGee and standard. So I he might be somehow related to Sandy Standard. No. That's not my last name. It's

just the first thing that came to my head when I was trying to think of a standard last name. Because

it's my cousin, his brother, and their friend.

Can I ask you a serious question principal? I love If that is your real name. It's not. What is it? What was your real name?

Dale. My name is Jill Border. Yeah. Got

it. No. What are the expectations here about lunch? Do we bring our own? Is there a Pizza Hut What what's

this? Great question. Is there a pizza here? Do

we bring our own or is there a pizza hut?

Oh, this is a

pretty standard school. Pizza Hut.

This is a pretty normal

school. Crossed all on the other side of the table.

Yeah. Come on. I'll tell you what, we're getting along.

Yeah. I can tell you are. Well, there is a there's a Pizza Hut nearby. There's not a Pizza Hut on campus. But, obviously, you're all teachers. You have your lunch periods are generally considered personal time or or or planning periods.

And we have

off

campus privileges? Of

course, you do here in

because I know some schools are locked down at lunch. The students can't leave and they have problems with that so they don't let the teachers leave either. No. I have not enjoyed

at this school, seniors, and teachers are allowed to leave for lunch. Can we go to lunch together? I mean, I mean, you could if you wanted to. I I wouldn't I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with that as long as no inappropriate activities are happening.

Well, I don't know about this school because I haven't worked here yet obviously. But I used to work over at Roseville -- Mhmm. -- and and there was some cool seniors. There were some seniors that you wouldn't mind having lunch with or having a beer with.

Yeah. How will will they how do we ask them to go to lunch with us and hang out with us? The cool seniors. Yeah.

What's the protocol here? You

gotta act like you don't need them. You gotta act like, you know, whatever. I'm gonna go get lunch but I eat alone all the time, and then they wanna hang with you.

I see. I see.

Well, I drive to do that. I drive 1 of those limos with the hot tub in the back. And just before I go to go to lunch, I just pull up to the curb and open the door. And I again, I don't invite anybody. That'd be creepy, but, you know, they know what's going on. It's

now can I ask you a question? I saw a an old Oldsmobile in the parking lot with a -- Hold on. -- I would say it's an ancient Smobile. It's not an oldsmobile.

It's oldest mobile. Yeah.

It's it's the oldest mobile. I didn't mean that was the brand.

I meant

it's an old It's an Oldsmobile. It was a Buick for sure. Right. But it's an it's a Buick Oldsmobile. And it And it had AAI wouldn't call it a hot tub, but a a big bowl strapped to it -- Right. -- with some water in it.

Is that where you're talking about the limo with the hot tub in the back? So you saw it. Yes. Well, that bowl was, you know, it's so funny. Everybody thinks, wow, you put a hot tub in this. No. I got catering from Jersey Mike's once, and they give you this huge -- Oh, right. And I just bolted that down to the top of the trunk, put water, and the bowl's black. The water heats up good. You can fit

2, 3 feet in there. Wow. That's awesome. That's not bad.

That is so awesome. That's how I get the kids to go to lunch with me when it's open campus. Yeah. Can he show off his Bewick Oldsmobile with the Jersey

mike's bowl on the back, and maybe they'll come with us. Can we can we do a parade for that? What after lunch and do or before

lunch? If we get if we get hired here, can we do a parade --

yes. --

where to for us to celebrate us getting hired where we all go to lunch with the seniors Well, the first day Yeah. I know.

We do have a a sort of first day sort of ice breaker with all new any new employee will get a

sort of

minute to 2 minutes in front of the kids at an assembly in the gymnasium where you can kind of pitch yourself

to them. Minutes each

person. Well, we can do a lot of performance for the kids. You do a little bit more. We can do anything.

Yeah. Last year last year, I, of course, read a little bit of my fiction when I was hired. I read an excerpt from my latest book, which is called boy, boy, boy. It's

hot in here.

It's

hot in here. That's erotic. Right?

It's erotic. I had to sort of do a sort of edit You

had to find sort of a 2 page part in between sexual moments sort of.

Right. It ended up only I'd only been I was able to read, like, a paragraph per page for, like, a chapter. So it's, like, 30 pages, 1 paragraph from each page. So you didn't really get a feel for the story at all. After

about walking out the front door and getting in the car. Mhmm. In

between because you don't really

let the eroticism rest. There's not much foreplay in that. It's it's pretty heavily erotic the whole time.

No. My my publisher says that's

my

style. He says, put the put the put the pedal to the metal and if and if there's a page that goes by where there's not some penetration, then

metal metal. That's what we but the pedal And and your public is not

random house. It's another word house. Right? What is it? Porno house.

And were you surprised by the notes, or was that about what you thought you would get?

I was surprised I was surprised at how many specific suggestions that the porno house executive had?

Now did you also meet with random house? And you chose Porno House over? What was

the deal in it? I met with penguin. I met with Porno House. I met with

simon and Schuster. With disgusting, penguin.

Right. Yeah. Discussing penguin, Porto house, shine them in shine them in shitster, which was, like, 1 of the publishers I I met with

rose. Yes.

Yeah. Porno House was honestly the the the the most reputable. You know, wholesome and and reputable of the 3. So I went with Porno House. But I try to keep my sort of personal life separate from school life. So

so you brought in your book. Yeah.

I brought in my book. And I again, I only read the connective tissue. So it was a lot of Mark walked into Tina's bedroom. He he flipped on the TV. The next morning, he ate some breakfast.

Little detective

stuff. So right after the TV, it gets filthy. And then you went to next morning?

Yeah. Flips on the television. 10 years later, he finally bought himself a dog. 10

years of eroticism.

I know. You got himself At 1 point,

you meant and during the 10 years of eroticism that he wants a dog. That's unbelievable. Yeah. I have got

to read this book maybe during

my history phase. Yeah. It's gonna take you away. I got a I got a question. I do not have a car. Can I ride the bus to school?

You actually can. You're not the only teacher who does that, actually.

Really? Do they charge for the pass? I'm sorry? Do they charge us for the bus pass and it's still that little laminated thing that flips around your backpack because I wear a big backpack with stickers on it.

No. You don't have to have a pass like, are we prior themselves on a community atmosphere here at Hamilton. So bus drivers, teachers, they all know each other. You don't need to prove you are

who you are. But you know that little pass I'm talking about. The little plastic laminated piece of the paper -- Yeah. We wanted to know about -- plastic thing

-- The past --

flipped into itself almost like the the string on a backpack zipper. Gonna

need to be more specific for me. I'm just not seeing what you're

describing. It's plastic. It's a it's a pink or green piece of paper with your picture on it. They laminate that. So it's

like a driver's license, you keep it in your wallet?

It's not quite that official. And then there's what looks like a little plastic band bracelet that goes through and then you pull it through itself, these things break all the time.

I just I I think I'm with you here. I think I understand. Can you draw

it?

Me? No. But I bet an artist could, which I would love to talk about the arts program at school. I hear it's robust. Well,

it was Is it

robust or canceled? Because I've heard both.

Well, it was robust. It was robust. I'll be honest with you guys. The teachers were replacing sort of drove the school crazy. And and and sorta caused some pretty serious trouble. So we're looking to hire people who aren't gonna cause any new trouble new trouble. It's if it's the same kind of trouble, they can absolutely do it. But if it's gonna be new trouble that we're not used to, We're we're looking for people who can sort of, you know, not rock the boat, not shake the bag. You know what I mean?

Well, I'm a history teacher, but I also teach driver's ed. Oh. And I do it in the oldest mobile. And I did get the break put in on the right side. Okay. That's available.

Sounds beautiful to me. Mhmm.

That's

our I graduated magnum Cume. Quiet. That's pretty good. Magnum Coomb, or away? Magnum Coomb Quiet. Right? Magnum Coomb Quiet from Gainesville College just so you know.

Okay. Wow. Gainesville.

So

i got a big dick and I don't make any noise when I ejaculate.

I guess information we need to know. I don't think

i figured you'd be nasty ass would wanna hear this. I'll say this. You don't need to know that information? Did you enter my resume back? I need to cross something up.

I don't need

to know everything. Just to be thorough, I'll say this I'll say this. I wear a lifestyles that often break. And what was the second part? Oh, I caught How quiet? So

he has a lot of kids, he comes regular.

Okay. Well, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. We're pretty desperate to fill these positions. Okay? So much so that I actually have started teaching the biology class. And I'll tell you this. I don't

know much about biology, mister Dill.

Don't know much by all of these.

Was that written about the teachers here at this school?

1 of them. It was about it was

well, I yeah. Actually, it was, I guess, written about all the teachers at his school. Yes.

I know much about history.

Yeah. I do. Yeah. So I'm gonna be honest with you. We're we we would probably be okay hiring you all on a sort of tentative contract. Now

what is that? Yes.

That would that would essentially entail you're on more as a substitute teacher until you prove yourself.

So Probationary.

Yeah. Like a probationary situation. I, of course, just finished my probationary probationary period. So so yeah. So I

so that's involving some type of basin.

Yeah. It's a probe base. Correct? Yeah. It's a probe basin. Oh, I could never afford 1

of those.

Yeah. It was sort of -- Damn. -- it was built by a a architect and contractor who were professionals.

Wow. Yeah. I had a probationary period. I did. I had a probationary period. Wow. And was it outside? It was open there? We had Yeah. What does that mean? Pro basin Erie? Yeah.

It's a probe basin probe basin Area. It it was, like, it was a probe basin and there and it was open air at No roof, no no walls.

We've seen and buzz that are anti basin, and they just never get anything done. I mean, where do you put all the water? Well,

that's your question. Which is it? Is it that you're 4 basins, or is it that you had a professional make your basin? Right. And

when did the period come in? In the theater, you know, what is Right here. Right here.

And

can I still have mornings off?

I we'll have to figure something out. Maybe we can we can move around your sort of your planning period or something. If you really needed to continue these MMA classes, I would appreciate it if you would sort of prioritize your teaching career as I've done. I don't spend nearly as much time writing my my fictions. Anymore. In fact, I haven't written a new 1 in a year. So I'm it's it's pretty frustrating for me. I mean, we all make sacrifice. That

must be very

tough for you. It is. And I got ideas.

Now in the craigslist ad for these jobs, it said that there would be a pitch session where everybody interviewing would get to give their best ideas for what a school should be?

Yes. That's how we end that's how we end this. We can go we can kinda go around and say this you're sort of ideal what the ideal vision of what a school would be Right. We could start with you, mister Standard, if you'd like.

Okay. Again, that's not my name. And are

we on What is your name, by the way? My name? Yeah. What's

your name? Sandy.

Dan Force Hitler.

Okay.

Okay. You just said that because of what was in the room.

Yes. Yeah. And I don't think that picture should be here.

That picture's been bugging me this whole time. I agree. I didn't know what to say about it, but it was so prominently placed that I figured I couldn't bring it

up. And he's tried to convince myself it was Chaplin.

He does. He's portrayed as if that's a gaffe. He's portrayed as a hero in it. He's being lauded. Well, that's what's weird. I thought it was Chaplin flexing. Oh, was this was this Levis' office? This was Levus's office. I see. No. Elvis.

I'm pretty sure

levus the prank

that kids played on him. Kids have kids played prank because on him constantly. I think they brought it

it was it, I dramatic. No. We all knew that. We He was not.

He was absolutely not.

Thankfully. That's why he was fired.

Accidental well, no. It was fire he wasn't fired. He retired, and it wasn't because he was anti Semitic. That's a a very unfortunate rumor that was spread continuously by every person. Well,

here's my pitch for the school. Give the students choice.

Give the students choice. Solutionary. Okay. What

exactly does that mean? I don't know what that means.

Yeah. But I know it's weird.

Because

you because here's, like, I'm here a teacher. What what do you want at this school as teachers? Do you teach a course? Pizza Hut number

1. Pizza pizza.

But what do you want teachers that the kids don't like? Or do you want popular teachers? So to me, it's figuring out how do you say inflammatory things that make you popular with the populace And then, you know, you you you let the administration figure out how to do it.

To be my bueller. Yeah. Thank you. Okay.

So yeah. This guy could teach theater and singing too.

Well, you've got My my history of dialect and speech coach historically, but I could teach theater, I could teach singing. I've I've dialect coached to many people you might have heard of, Gary Busy.

On what project did you coach Gary Busy because he's never not sounded like himself. Okay. Well But that's

that's your dialect. Right? That's my dialect. Yeah. You've never heard

you teach Busy.

I get UC big basically to almost normal speaking. Right. Because what does Bucey really sound like? Oh, he I I mean, Bucey is AAA he's got like an Australian mush mouth is the best way to describe it. And so I've trained him into the way he speaks now. Well,

he really does speak the opposite of an Australian much mouth. His teeth are always in the open air, and he's really over enunciating.

Yes. You thought

gilbert Godfried. Right?

I did I did I did got early Godfrey's work. Yes. And

you're early

godfrey. That's me. So And

did you also do the Aflac Duck?

Unfortunately, I I was not able to solicit

is that a separate person? I thought he was just a voice. Is that the shoe that's not him doing the voice. That's just a duck that sounds like.

It's a duck whose dialect coach ripped me off and trained the duck using my strategies.

Wow. Dial coach ripped you off. What do

you what do you tell people to do to get the classic Godfried voice? To

get Godfried? Yeah. I I would say imagine you're a Jewish stereotype getting kicked in the grind. And scream without being loud. Scream

without being loud. I see. I see.

And you hate the problem child. I always bring it back to a problem child that you're dealing with, which I find to be helpful. So obviously, I wouldn't be create any new problems here if that if there's like a podcast studio I know those teachers I would happily host my show down there speaking in tongues which is It's all different dialects that I try to teach the audience every episode is a different language -- Beautiful. -- dialects. And

it's a

full average episode is a different language. And

you try and teach people. I judge your language. Well, the first half is you teach the language, and then the second half is the dialect. So Okay.

So in 30 minutes, you let them have the language.

This guy is good. You better hire him. Well, I have idea for podcasts as well. I know that was the big thing with this school for file. I had an idea for a podcast called The History of Everything. In each episode, we do a totally different era. And in 45 minutes, we wrap it all up.

Wow. That's good.

And see I have an idea

for a podcast too.

Okay. I'm listening.

You

get comedians and actors, and you talk to them with the walls down for

about an hour. You

mean the physical walls?

Yeah. You get rid of the

walls. You hold

the roof cave in on you, and you survive. You see if you can survive. Comedian survivor. Yeah. It's called a under the rubble WTF.

Well, listen, I know this isn't typically done, but this is so my God bless you.

Thank you very much.

Oh, my God bless you. Now,

i Gee.

It's contagious to sneeze.

Show. Yo.

Usually, this happens with the yawn. To bless you.

Sure. These are

on.

Anybody have a Kleenex?

Yeah. There should be some right behind you. I've I'll I'll definitely need a Credex too. I

definitely am gonna need a Credex after this 1 because I have a hold of everything in the nose that I really need to let it go.

Would you pass what to be, please?

Let me let me use it. Maybe the pass after I

use it. Yeah. Use it first. We don't wanna waste a bunch of kleenex. Here you go. Alright.

Can I get that? Can I get that, actually? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There you

go.

Yeah, baby. Oh, god. Do you mind if I get that too for a little start? Yeah. Go ahead.

In the living, EG0.

Okay. That's much better. Thank you. Alright.

Yeah. That was crazy. Thank you very much.

Alright. So we'll work here if you let us do a parade once a day

to introduce ourselves. What

did you

say? Once a day? We're hired But I we need people to fill the position. So you were gonna be hired regardless with the second

you walked

in the door, but Thank you, dear. Just that'll that's that's it. Yeah. We're good. We're fine. Just Can I ask you a paperwork from the front office?

Sure. Please.

Is it dill like the spice or herb, excuse me, or is it dill like the pickle?

I'll say this. I don't wanna you know, this is hard to stand up for yourself and set boundaries, but this is incredibly personal and you do not need to answer if you don't need to.

Wow. Right under the

bus. I don't buy an answering it. It's it's still it's still after the the the herb. My parents were dill farmers.

You're named after an herb. Mhmm.

My dad's name was herb, actually. Mine

too. Herb or herb. Herb. Usually, when it's a name, it's herb.

No. It's herb. Herbert, actually. Herbert Herbert.

Yeah. I like that. Well, I knew there was something I liked about you. Here, let me tell you this. Can I work here? I've already told you. You all have

the job. Okay? You're gonna be start on Monday. Be here as close to 8AM as you possibly can be. Okay.

We'll get here. We'll get

here as close to the morning as we can.

I do have a 2PM hard out. Okay.

You know the recurring doctor's appointment.

Until we figure it out. Yeah. Well, yeah. I have to go to the allergist tomorrow every day this week. We obviously have allergies bad. Did you hear we just did a full gillespie routine with our allergies? So we will not be here most of the day because we will be at the allergist. But only Monday through Friday?

Okay. Well, I might then if I'm being honest, I might have to interview some other people if I'm not gonna have you guys.

Alright. Fair enough. Just be honest with you. That's all we needed to know.

Yes. And when is the field trips?

They're to tear it all different times throughout the year. You seem upset. Well,

i don't that didn't work for

me. I'd

like to know when they are and I'd like to go on them. Without paying and without being a what are these called? Chapero. Yes. And when I go,

i will need to take the bus to these field trips as well.

You know, I I actually think

we're gonna go in a different direction, guys. Before you even interview anyone else?

Even me?

Yeah. Just the whole vibe. The whole vibe is wrong. Even me too. Yeah. Even

sandy Yeah.

Not

my name. Don't wear that.

Buff Reynolds. You want It's tough when you get turned down by a pervert who writes romance novel novels.

I'm not a pervert. Okay? It's not it's not unusual to be sexual. It's not unusual. It's not unusual to be. Love, by the wall.

Was that written about about you?

It was. Every every

body was unusual. Anybody liked it? Was

written about someone who worked at this school, actually. Good

god. I just saw the biggest explosion I've ever seen in the parking lot. Must have been your car, my man.

Jesus.

Oh, you're talking about me? It's

raining.

It's raining Jersey Mike's. Bulls. Bowls. Alright. So dill, no borders. Looking that camera. Looking that camera. You've just been you've been on weird interview. We gotcha.

What? We gotcha. There's a

camera there. There's a camera there, and the host is in the other room. You've been on weird interviews the whole time.

Wait a minute. Yeah. This is an episode of weird interviews. I love this show. I should have known this all the time. You guys are your costumes are bad. Yeah. Your costumes are terrible. I should God

damn it. Obviously, they're not. Alright. Which

they're pretty bad. Okay? And this

sucks. What do you want? Picture

before

calling out that we were weird.

Do you want a picture with us?

Yeah. Of course, I would. You guys are like it's like my favorite show on TV. You have another 1? That's cool. That's really fun. You guys are crankable.

Yeah. We're going to interview at a Dairy Queen in, like, a half hour. So we gotta get dressed up like blizzards

we really the the sting for this 1 is we're going in really wanting it.

Yeah. And we gotta beat the impractical jokers. Before they get there. They're on their way. The practical jokers were headed here, and we we cut them off. Yeah.

It's a constant race to pranks between us and them right now. Well,

yeah. Let me get a quick quick picture, and then you guys can get to dairy queen. Oh,

geez. She's my camera. Okay. Here we go. And go ahead.

Wait. Are you 1 of the impractical jokers with that fake camera?

Yeah. That's right. It's me. Sell, Sal from a practical

joke. The weird interviewers have it been impractical joke?

That's right. This is an impractical joke. I've had ears I've had my buddies in my ears this whole time.

I can't believe we just got soured. Yeah. Wait a second. Shit.

Wait a second.

Look at you. Do you see my hair under here? Hang on. That's right. You've actually called me. You you've both been you've been catfished. I'm I'm the Leave.

Leave. Nave. It's Nave. Who was catfished? You didn't do

your thing, Nave. Hey, Nave. I think you forgot how to do your show.

Nave. He didn't do it. Well,

now now now now. Wait.

Oh my god. Wait.

Jackass is here? That's right. Shit.

Wait. We're there. They're all limping in the room. They're all limping

in the room.

Oh, Jesus. That guys are rough.

They are in bad shape.

Guys, you cannot feel the penis. I don't wanna do this 1. I don't wanna do this 1. Panias. Yes. Yes, Panias. Yes.

Panias. Take a picture of my fucked up Peter's and go it in there and show it to him.

I don't wanna this is the worst 1 ever. I don't wanna take a picture of your penis. Come on, that's This is where I draw the line. Bonnie is, please. Please, buddy. Had it. Bonnius has had it. What are you gonna do? Go back to fucking the middle of nowhere and hang out with animals. Why can't we just do party boy anymore? Why can't we just do party boy where I get on roller skates, and dressed like a bobby and roll her around. Jackass was the only thing that worked. Wild boys tanked. Down take a picture of

my dick and go show it to him.

Go ahead and Johnny, sit down. Sit down that chair right there. That was not Chris Pontius that you tried to get to take a picture of you. That was a 12 year old boy. I'm Chris Anderson. And No. You've been dressed him up like, potty? You've been catfish purvoted.

That's not that's not legal. I feel like I'm still in the right. This is the catfisher predator. Hey. Hey, Chris. Chris Hanson? Hey, everybody come in here. Everybody come in here. Everybody in? Everybody Oh my god. It's it's that lady. It's that lady from intervention

with the red hair. This

is an intervention for you. Shit.

What Or her Extension for what? I'm fine. Christopher Chris Hanson or Chris Panias?

For Chris Hanson.

Chris, you're a dick to

chris, you're a dick into finding perverts, and it's affected my life in the following ways. You missed our wedding because you said you had a lead on a perv. You missed also read the letter. You missed my son's brisk because you said you had a lead on a perv. I

did. It was a rabbi.