Rest in Pasta with Italian Teacher Douglas Rafferty (Lou Wilson)

class and the car keys Thio e. I

like busking, I think. Ah, I think I'm pretty good at it. I learned Wonderwall. Um and you know you sure I play wonderwall over and over again, do you? No, don't Most people busk on the streets or in a train and not in a new burr, right? Yes. Yeah,

yeah, I got your

little limiting your audience a little bit, cause or do you do you jump for move it over and just play the song each time you get in.

Well, I I don't remember. I started just Ah, uber xing, uh, asking an uber axes and then a small one with driver. All right, and then I didn't go into uber pool.

See that? Now, that sounds fun. If I got a new a new Barin, somebody was playing wonderwall for me. I would honestly be really excited.

Yeah, not only would I love to get into an uber and hear the song Wonderwall, but you get played by an amateur. You all right? Yeah, I start over a lot and I got a fact and I started

out on purpose. Is that part of the vibrators and Well, it has

become that Yeah, People are returning. I was

gonna say people love live music.

Yeah. And you know, said the rage of it is kind of taking.

It's become sort of. My thing

is, I don't know. You've got There's been a couple of viral clips on Twitter of you Losing your mind A new

vers Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah I can't keep my uber cool Uh,

your uber you can't keep your

That's a joke. I do in the set

It's a pun on over pool. A little to uber excited I d'oh idea doing like bad musician comedy in there as well. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's I I do any type of. I paint for a second. If something starts failing, I'll go to another art. That's nice. May I? Don't ride uber anymore. Why? I just don't agree with that guy that runs it. I read it. I read it, Tweet about him. And no, he's not hard enough. Yeah, What's he doing out there? She is not hard. And I'm soft on his fellow employees. Right? You know, on general business practices, You know what I like What uber driver should be paying his insurance?

Absolutely. You just finished

reading the Fountainhead, right? That's right. And I think

I got a lot

of it through. So you've been holding

a pen and you get a lot of inspiration from that? Yeah. Yeah, I get a lot of Randy and inspiration from this pen. I know. I am listening to the fountainhead on tape as, um as read by, uh um, as read by James Woods.

You're getting a lot from that.

Do you feel like your mind is changing? Do you feel like you're absorbing? Well, you know, I'm just, you know, I'm learning a lot about how you got it. Everyone is out for themselves. And if anything bad happens to anyone, it's their own fault. I agree. It's all about discipline. Yeah, but bad things. And that's what my whole life has been about. Blaming other people for things. And it's like Maybe it is my fault and maybe my successes or my by joy. That's good.

Turn it in on yourself because your your spot your justice responsible for your failures as you are for your success, is absolutely. And that's something we've all sometimes failures are bigger than success. we've already been recording for foreign. How minutes? Well, blow me down. I'm sorry, guys. Okay, Well, hey, you know what? Let's our Howard

fuck Howard asked for this time. Guys, I'm not doing it on purpose, okay? It's just you know, he's a private box. Stuff failures. Yeah, this is very private. Okay, Okay,

fine. Well, it's a draw. The show?

Yeah. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Teacher's Lounge is the first, best and only podcast relevant Thio. Well, it would be the Hamilton High School community. But of course, we no longer are at Hamilton High School due to rule. Well, it was

very mutual. Was a conscious uncoupling.

Yeah, you know, they had reasons for wanting us gone. We had reasons for one to lead

the way turned, uh, we turned the gymnasium enough, Thio. Sorry. Cafeteria into a hot hell, Sana. That's

right. Well, you know, we're trying to care for all these kids, you know? And sometimes when you're making an omelet, you got to burn down a couple of years. And then, of course, we mutually

ah, pretty much let the school on fire and escape without Chapo.

Who is there to save us just in time

in a tunnel. It was, Yeah, he had dug a tunnel. Uh, over the course of a few weeks, that sort of opened up right into the recording studio. And Yes, John Wayne Bobbitt was there. It was it was quite an ordeal, you know? And we spent, uh we

spent a

good bit

of time with with chapeau, huh? It's been, you know, and to say we're friends anymore is probably not something we could say. No, we can't say that

at all. No. Well, I'll say this if you're listening to this episode. This is Episode 13 of the Teacher's Lounge. Do And you haven't heard the 1st 2 seasons. Do not go back. You'll get everything you need to know. Don't listen. Don't go back and re listen. We're gonna flawlessly recap it right now with all the details you need to know. I never forget anything.

Life is about moving forward, not looking back and focusing on your failures. Though you may have a lot of them, you just gotta move forward and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I look back

fondly on our time with El Chapo. I don't know about you guys. It's

kind of like your Elaine

JJ. Yeah, I changed for the better. Now because of El Chapo,

Right again. Just another example of a conscious uncoupling. I mean, we don't want to be together anymore, but the time we had was great

way. You know, we spent a couple of days in the tunnel. Uh, you know, that tunnel was a lot longer than I expected it?

Yeah, I think it's from

Ah ah, an

episode of the Ninja Turtles. They have that thing that builds tunnels is that is that

Chapo has one of those and he's able to dig tunnels in real time. What is it? 12 foot every every six hours.

Chop O goes for six hours. He's also got, uh he's also got a big old van that shoots pizzas and laughing gas.

It's crazy that they never actually came up for the name for those things. Even though they started to produce him, they just referenced Ninja turtles. What? Chapo? He's really looking a lot like master shredder. Agreed. Agreed. Right. He hasn't had a haircut in a while, and he's been getting a lot of shady. He was calling me Michelangelo

for six weeks. Master shredder. The bad guy with the mask

right? The almost He has like a night outfit. It's sort of samurai if you TIF. It's every motif. I love the

motif of El Chapo's whole operation down.

You expect it to be more, you know, Mexican, but it's actually, uh, it's more of a

Japanese. When I got out, I was like, This better be Mexican and honestly, that was the root

of a lot of the issues. You know, we thought we're going to go down to Mexico, hide out for a little while.

I thought I was basically getting you know, I don't

want to be rude, but a compost and Lucas style

vacation go down there and it's all tea and sushi

and we didn't see we didn't see Senor Frog's once.

Oh, no Kabo Kabo way. We made

tunnels all across the U. S. Popping up in different cities. Chapo was lost.

He was lost. I remember

we popped out and he looked around and said, Must have made a wrong turn in Albuquerque,

right? Right. And I will I will give it up for Chapo. You know. He blames himself when

it's when it's Do you know what I mean? Dollars shoulders. He is hard on himself.

Popped up black emo style all over the U. S. Made a couple of sinkholes. Couple of stink holes going right

through. Ah, you know, Cem Cem sewers. A nine year old bought me on the head, coming out once with a huge hammer.

Well, yeah, we did pop up in a local fair, and we got Bob right next to a lack of old machine. But it was crazy.

Were much bigger than those moles. It was

the on them. That was Well, they were using the hand job I

gave. I gave one of the kids a huge teddy bear was carrying. He was very. Anyway,

getting in Mexico with chopper was definitely, you know, a task. But once we were there, it was pretty nice.

Yeah, beaches are beautiful. The sand is wonderful. Yeah,

we were on the We were on the run on the lam for sure. We're on the labs.

Well, we were writing

lambs for awhile right down there on El Chapo's farm. But we were on the lam. We were escaping

way were heavily

wanted. Apparently, it's frowned upon in America To collude with a murderous drug kingpin from another country

is crazy. If you're over

the border, you're over the border. Uh, right.

Yeah. Uh, but then, you know, as any good Ah, good vacation goes, You know, you start to rub each other the wrong way.

Yeah. We were having a blast with becoming a reality show way Were shopping around a reality show.

It was great. It's kind of like the Osbournes. A similar idea where it kind of just realized. It

was It was He was down there

with us while we were right on the coast

shop. Oh, it is what it was called,

Uh, and we all kind of just got high on prescription pills and just screamed at each other. Kind of

ambled around the house looking for stuff, and, uh, I was very much the, uh, the Kelly Osborne of Of our when you released that pop song. Yeah, I did release that pop song. Copy. Don't pre copy. Don't preach. Uh,

it was like a pun on heroin. I was

addicted to heroin. I mean, I'm still I'm still using a method appease Yeah. Like Poppy sees. Like how you sort of make heroin. Yeah. Yeah, it was a It was a play on that, Um, it was it was to the cords of Wonderwall, which I was I was immediately sued by Did you break the billboard top 200 in Mexico? The what? The beautiful tough Thio.

Yes. Well, it was two day is gonna be the day that I finally don't do hair when it was really me

trying to bargain with myself to get off to get off a heroin. Yeah, what you did. I'm on methadone now. I'm on that. Congrats. You know, it got to the point where Chapo would walk up to me with dishes I had left in the same. Could be like, Hello. These don't clean themselves. I was like, I know I'm going to clean it later. I would I would eat something, leave addition to sink in, You know, pop on Netflix and

yeah, you You got so mad at

Chopper at one point, you slapped him and threw his teddy bear off of the, um, the pier. The pier? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I slapped the Tuesday and Teddy bear off the pier and the producers almost made me have to go home because you can't hit another member of the cast

is crazy. I mean it, really, Honestly, I couldn't believe, like this sort of arguments were getting into my point, but that's what happens. You know, I actually you'll remember when I was doing some laundry, Um, and I had my laundry in the washing machine and moved into the dryer. It it was done. It had been in the dryer for about an hour. Chapo just screams from the laundry room.

Who's is this? Yeah, there's is this screaming like Richardson? Yeah. I mean, I was like Chapo, buddy. I mean, it just finished the buzzer just day. Where is Richard Simmons?

He is here. He said that he's at that house. Yes, he that's where we found him. He also skip to the end of that podcast. He's in the house. He's doing fine. The only difference is the shorts or even shorter.

He does know howto thio. His hair's bigger and short, shorter. We're all in great shape. That really good. Thank found him. That's the one thing that I think we all really got out of Mexico was we tightened up trials and tribulations but we got tight

down and we ek And now it kind of ended up having to be a situation where we sort of banded together to sort of, ah, end a bad situation. Yes. Say we

started Well, we were started. Ah, personally, As part of the reality show, we were all working at a ah Buffalo Wild wings on the side and chop. Oh, did it show up for his shift? And our boss called me and it was my day off, right? I mean, I was I was planning on just chilling there with me, Ruthie and

Teck. We're gonna chill right during the day, you know? And I had to cover chop of shift because he's he was sleeping. Okay. Over slap. Yeah, It's like he tells us to turn off the lights in the house, get the laundry, anything show up for work, dog. Yeah, And sling some sesame boneless wings like we all

did. Well, he didn't like that and we got into it and Well, you better be careful screaming at us, Chapo.

And he said, and he said, Well, you better be careful screaming at me, boy. Because look at all these men behind me with machine guns and that I don't take kindly to threats. No, none of us do Not Honestly, I've never seen this all reacted with such extreme and swift synchronized movement.

We immediately looked at each other, went down into the tunnel

and made a bullet back for us exploding the tunnel behind us. Yeah, we blew the tunnel behind us and we turn State's evidence. We rolled on chopper. We rode on Chopper.

See, that's the thing

Chapo didn't realize is that he's way more wanted than we are. Yeah,

nothing we could do in America would ever surpassed the level of of just terror that he's

caused. Just gentlemen, if you're listening, if you're ever in a bad way, rat on someone worse than you, you'll be fine. Exactly, will be

totally fine. It's not about who's right. It's about who's the wrong ist it. Just don't get stitches. They get rich is just get richest. God, we're rich. Yeah, we're heroes.

Yeah, we're here. It's It's strange how your reputation with the world can kind of change in the blink of an eye, and we all kind of. We feel really lucky that things went down the way they did because we got back to the United States.

You guys remember

Apollo 13? That movie? Uh, we're actually it was a really story, right? Yeah, I remember that. Yeah,

that's sort of how ours

turning win. And then we come home and

the world was watching us. Everybody was glued to their 19 fifties TV sets and we were

coming back from Mexico. Chapo, on our heels,

there was there was cameras rolling when the the standard. It's pretty interesting how under

definition cameras rolling

on us won't be filmed in HD. Uh, we actually found our way back to that state fair one more time and popped out of that same that same tunnel hole on cameras. Were there rolling. Ah, oui, Oui. Way popped out of that hole and

you had a big C.

Yeah. Ah, and you know, we we are. We were heroes. There's there's no other way to describe it.

And we've learned a lot. We're new men now because of our conscious uncoupling with Ana Hamilton High School. We were not allowed to work there again. They said, fullest one stream on you. Our school. You did not gonna fool us again.

Yeah. And also, you know that the reputation we do have within the sort of public school system in the United States sort of prevents us from kind of gang. It prevented us from getting hired at pretty much any public school. We We applied Thio? Yeah, and that we understand that. You know, we've had a couple of really wild years on. People are allowed to feel how they feel. So we're not mad. We're getting even. Don't get mad getting any That's right. And, you know, uh uh, well, basically, what's what happened was we decided, what's better than working for somebody

else working for the weekend?

Everybody at work. But we can

Yeah, And next to working for the weekend. The best thing is working for yourself

by their work and bar themselves. Yeah,

And so we decided, you know, I would dip into the family funds on pay for the construction of ah Charter school.

And you had thio. Any time you guys

have a trust that everybody puts into and in order Thio get alone. You have to make a presentation. Yes, way All went with Howard to do the presentation for the Levi's family. Yeah,

and I think we nailed it. Yeah, I know that name.

We knocked it out of the freakin pop. We showed up looking good. We showed up in four black turtlenecks talking like Tim Cook, and they thought, Oh, this is going to be a boring Kino Cook made those black turtlenecks famous.

Exactly. Because he is the reason

that everybody knows that. Yeah. I mean, I don't remember who was before him cooks. The guy cooks

the guy for sure. Kunis the guys. Three iPad three. Yeah, you too. On an iPhone. Oh, my books The man. But don't watch. I'm telling you. Cookies taken apple in the coolest direction we love love. Good. I love that. Well, I know you. Sometimes you like to use apples. Robin, may I love my apples with some cook. That's right. That's right. These are all cookies. These air these air cookies, You know, Little, little quotables by Tim Cook Yeah, so we took after

cook. Um and we we did our presentation very much like how he does where he says, like, four words, the top and then bring somebody else out there is bad.

Right? So we brought out the jab walkies Thio to do the rest of our

prison. Yeah, which was a great get. Honestly, I I couldn't believe they responded to our e mails. I

don't where heroes. I mean, everybody wants to work with us right now. Everyone outside of

school, everybody other than anything that we want to do, which is schooling. So we said we said to leave eyes, you know, a phone, a music player, a watch, a private school, ladies and gentleman, the

booth jab Walkies came out

and did a very tight private school themed dance. Um, not dissimilar to Britney Spears. Hit me, baby one more time.

Yeah, in fact, very similar losses. If they nailed the premise we gave them. Well, yeah, we dressed all the Japanese

up like Britney Spears, and our only rule was no scary masks, guys.

Who's the little did we

know the Jeb walkies aren't wearing those masks because it's like a cool theme there wearing There's mass because they are ugly.

I mean, I'm talking, I'm talking mass, but that's what happened. That's what happened right now. Don't tell anybody is with this Dancers in

the world They were all like way keep getting put in the back. So they all put on masks and they became the chapel. Yeah,

they're ugly. I know it. No offense, but I would say most answers. I've actually noticed they're actually other than a year than you think. Yeah. Look at my legs. Look at my legs. I see why

you don't tell. Dancers were saying,

If you're listening to this, you know, keep it quiet. If you have a dancer friend, tell him to skip this episode.

It's just ironic, because it's all about, like, beautiful body movement on that stuff. But, you know, if you're so ugly, it's hard to get any way, any way, at least endless made in America

on, you know, And it went over swimmingly. Yeah, and

so the Levi's board said, uh, you know what? We'll open up the trust for this.

Yeah, and we essentially have a bottomless piggy bank here. Uh,

never needs breaking. It's just bottomless. What? No, you. We put all the money in

a big pig ceramic pig that's got grotesques genitals, and it's got

it's It's kept its pants is ankles. It's a bottomless pinky, baby. Yes, it's disgusting. Look, for

yeah, and it's full of money, you know?

You know, those we kind of governors who only like they want to make art. So they're like, I'm a painter. I'm just

gonna paint like nasty butt holes, and it'll

elicit a response. I'm not gonna pay something that's like, beautiful.

Looks good. So I commissioned my friend, um, Sloblo Picasso.

It's one of those situations where they think either he's like, you know, imitating or something, but they're not

related at all. No. So, Slob Loma. Anyway, we keep our money in cash in this pig

disgusting way. Start around charter school, and here we are. Now, we should introduce ourselves, right?

Uh, get guys again. I'm Howard Levis. Ah, I will be once this charter schools up and running be the head of sort of the curriculum academic curriculum.

You're taking a lot

on your taking a lot of smart

good. Yeah, And we're gonna We're gonna take these kids to a new level of intelligence wise. So I'm really excited

and, you know, Sam, weather in back. Healthy as ever. Uh, that's a boat lie here than ever. Healthy as ever. Not not healthier. Right? Right. Right on. You're always unhealthy

and you're healthy. Is

Ember exactly exactly this? My health has stayed the same. I should have said All right, you know, but I'm in charge of discipline this year. Last year it was, you know, leadership and mental health and I You know, I think encouragement was sort of the wrong thing for the kids. They sort of went willy nilly on me. I sort of pushed them, but with no direction. I'm taking What? Well, even nearly Willy Vanilli. Sorry. Yes, I was lip sinking.

A lot of my you know, uh, notes to them and everything.

So this year got caught. Yeah, I got you know, I got caught because I made one music video. Anyway, I don't want to go into it, but now I'm doing discipline. I'm telling the kids what not to do. I'm raining them in

while also being supportive with a tough hand. Uh, you're a big fan of Corporal,

big fan of corporal punishment. Detention is gone, and pain is in It seems a lot like the mistake you made last season. Hey, I rule with an iron fist, all right? I I think you're right. I mean, that was me peeing. Just be big B. That was a big clumpy P. I think you might have some stones. Are you okay? Oh, yeah. No, I got that would definitely have some stunts. I'd see him. You can see him in the in my urethra. I got one stone just stuck in the tip of my fury. That looks like a snake who can't get down the hole. Muskrat e eight. Yeah, my dick is actually eating things. You don't have kidney stones. Your dick is eating. Yeah, Pebbles. I went to the doctor and he was like, No,

no, no, no. Your

your dick is consuming things and shedding its skin. Right? And I was like, Wow, good. I'm tired of the sense. Circumcised dick, maybe get off. Yeah. You

mean? More ways than one.

know what I

Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself after that one. Hello? My name is Bill Crave E. Um, I am, of course, running the athletic department at our new school. I'm

gonna be Ah, little. I decided I'm gonna

be more of the boss. Um and I'm gonna be less. I'm gonna be

less on the court,

but I'm gonna be more of the eye in the sky,

a little less hands on. Exactly. Well, and you won't have

to be his hands on this year because we've got we've got some great potential. Coach is coming in.

Great, great coaches. I am still going to coach, but my team

is the coaches. So every day after school, we are I'm gonna teach the coaches basketball, right? Coaching the coach. Yeah, but that's just a little something for me to kind of stay true to my heart. But I am the head of the athletic department, which I'm very excited about. Thank you so much.

I think we're all sort of taken a little step back as faras hands on, but wielding a little more power from above way, right? Yeah, well, I mean, we all great. We all

graduated from Ah Trump University, Huh? So we were Where CEOs really at heart. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Um, I Todd, Padre, I'll be running the arts program on campus. Um, I'm excited to shape the hearts and minds of these young artists because that's what we need today is focused on the arts and creativity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We only more patrons. So

we've got the four. The four facets covered. We've got disciplined administrative sports and are What else is there? What else is

that way are proud to present to you Levi's 401 Jeans presents swine High school. That's right. The

swine high school. Go Mighty pigs. Yeah, well, we are currently I did. That's my pitch. No swine. High school

pigs is what we all decided we wanted.

It just makes sense, you know? Don't don't try to reinvent the wheel.

The thing is, there was another school in the district that were the pigs already. Yes. So we're technically way put our We did what you always do when you have a name, but you

like it so much you don't want to change the actual name.

So we went

thio gmail dot com and we put pigs at gmail dot com, and it said it was taken. So we are now the swine. High school pigs. Underscore

what? I don't know if people know that the email of your mascot is very important. Yes, the email address of your school's mascot can make or

break the school unity. So Google said, Understood. It said, Are you sure? Do you want to be the Patriots? Do you wanna be

a wart? Hogs? It's

strangely suggested. A lot of mascot, your email address. It almost knew it knew what we were doing.

Our share of Google is

not planning some stuff. No, they say don't be evil. And I believe him.

Okay, Yeah, that's s So were the Levi's for. Oh,

one jeans presents swine high school pigs. Underscore one.

Yeah, we're really excited to get things off the ground. The school will be opening on Monday. Yes. Uh, which is great. So we've got a couple more days to sort of get our

Sarah. Where are back? Unbelievable. Yeah.

Yeah, and we're in the process of sort of filling out the roster. You know, uh, it's been got

some exciting teachers, and they're still we still got room for students to sign ups. Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah. Ware not little behind a little behind school opens Monday. We're still planning some of the big

things. Yeah. Ah, in particular. The way we do have most of our teachers locked in which we are excited about me. Yes,

our star teacher, you know, Are you ever you lover? She is going to trot out Monday morning, Thio that that that man are nine are not. I were having

a very rally pit. Big pep rally. Morning, ladies and gentlemen. Mary, A letter. No way. Right? It's a big teachers coming in.

You know, we said we need

teachers who are going to show love to their students. Yeah, And who better than a woman who got arrested falling in love with an underage boy?

Exactly that on a passion we want. We're just gonna tweak how she

used and it kind of across the board are sort of hiring practices in this in this scenario have been similar. We want people similar to us. You've made mistakes who've learned from those mistakes and are willing. Tiu sort of push through those mistakes

to better the lives of applications that we are getting because we offer a starting salary of $125,000. It's big. It's big,

By the way, our piggy bank is truly

bottomless. It's a bottomless piggy bank with grotesque channels. Yeah, we

I think I think everybody

knows that. We're keeping all of our money and cash and a big pig with its pants towns. Okay, good,

but it's heavily secured now. If that's for

you guys, we got a few other exciting teachers. D'oh! God, I'm excited. I mean, I decided for the arts program. You know, there's theater all over the country. But what didn't actor young actors not get to learn commercial acting? Wow. Acting on camera for commercials, the audition process. And we got an exciting experience. Commercial actor. He can't start until early October. We've got a couple of months

and he's a friend of the podcast. Front of the podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, O J. Simpson, you'll

be here in October. He's going to be a

commercial commercial act. It's gonna be beautiful. Anything in his life. Apparently, he's already requested

to watch a lot of episodes of how to get away with murder,

and I heard he just booked an Applebee's national. So he's coming in with Rhea life experience. Wow, that's unbelievable.

Skype, Skype on Skype audition. I hope he talked about it in class. I'm letting him write the curriculum, so Yeah. Ah,

what a fascinating teachers. Bill. I know you're really excited about this 11 of the most vicious

leaders we've ever seen on the basketball court. We have

Bobby Knight, Bobby, Bobby, We got him. We got a Bobby Knight. I ripped him out of hospice care, and it was no problem for him. He was mad at his nurses Anyways. He had just choked out a nice orderly. He had just thrown an ivy

machine across the I C U S

o. He's coming into town. I'm sorry. Did I say hi, hospice?

I'm in. I c u care. Yeah. Um, he hey had thrown his back out. Throwing his stove out of his own house is the stove. Couldn't run a three man weave. The stove has such a such a slow. Um, what's that called? 88 8 80 meters, 40 four authority. But he was having the stove running 80 meter. Yeah,

and he said,

Why aren't you able to do this in four seconds. Bob sends in Bobby's defense that stove had personality problems, you know? And we're trying to round up the teachers. We don't have them all here. So we decided to do a

little competition. Yes. Uh, maybe you've seen it. Everybody loves these in America. And we're just We are. We are slaves to the American public way. See what they want. We deliver. Um, so we have decided to do a little competition. Little American Idol style. America's got talent, star style competition. So we have been on. We've, of course, been filming at the shop around right. A lot of shopping,

you know where we should mention. We are a for profit high school. So So, you know, there's there's a lot

of good good that can come. And we've got a great host. Whatever people are saying, it is not Mike Myers and character.

It is not. Although I love that character. Yeah. God, I

love that Carrie. It's a very good character. It's very funny. It's so different from Austin Powers. But our hosts Fat bastard. It's running the proceedings, and we're having teachers come in and teach for a panel of judges and American vote him on her off to see who is going to be

the next American teacher. American teacher is what it's gone. Next, American teacher.

And we had initially scheduled it a little weird. The finals actually aren't for a couple weeks. So we're gonna have an empty slot at the school for a little while.

The folk We fired the focus group immediately. Fighters better. I was so happy to march into that fucking room behind that and fire those fuckers. Those fucking they said, loser. They said the title was enough. Obey funk. Awk off! America's got talent in there and I don't knobs telling us what they like just because we asked him to. Yeah, I ripped a knob off and fucking threw it in that old lady's face. Fucking thing. This culture to pay. See? And we're,

of course, sitting in voice style chairs, Um, on way hit. We either hit the button and we turn around, We clap or we hit another button, and it it it wipeouts them off stage with a big, huge pillar. Uh huh. Obviously, Howard sits there dressed in see lows

outfit was at the Grammys last year I had to tell in gold Had to Tokyo.

You're petting a giant cat. Yeah. Yeah. Similar to Mr Bigglesworth again. It's not the cat from Austin Powers and Care cars.

It's a different world cat. Um, so check it out. We're streaming on Facebook live. Yeah, uh, Facebook has been very kind to us. They're looking for content, and we have been streaming live.

If you catch any of those videos, you know, be sure to call in or text your vote. It's only $4 per vote if everybody's voting about 1 800 Americans only. So just text that number one A takes text. Any number 2 28 100 Americans only we'll know what you're That's this is getting off to a swimming swimmingly. Good start. I'm excited for the school. This is good. I mean, we're gonna be ready

by Monday for sure.

Absolutely. I have. I have not. Ah, not ah, not a worry in the world because I'm getting to do what I love with my four best friends. Yeah, on We're back in the saddle, baby. Today on the show we do have a guest. As always, we're really excited. This guest was was one of the first people we hired here to come in on the team. Hey,

too quickly hired him too quickly and honestly, we didn't see any other applications for

this furnished Italian. An Italian teacher. He actually just sent an e mail. And we said Yes, but he's a great guy. We've gotten to know him on. We're really glad to have him on the team. So let's introduce you all to our Italian teacher, Mr Douglas Rafferty.

Chow? Yeah, One of the first things

you said in your interview and it had a smitten Really? Yeah. We hired you in the room after that. Yeah, right. We said, Say no more.

I'll tell you, the Italians know how to start a conversation, and I'll tell you that. Uh, but really, I'm so excited to be here. I don't know. This is very special. I'm very excited to make new Amegy That mean

new pasta is that you're excited to make new pasta, Dmitri con

vodka. C c

Oh, you guys are perfect. Oh, I'm so excited. I'll tell you, I have been looking for a job for quite some time on and It's really nice to find a home here at Levi's. 401 sponsored swine Swine,

Swine, High School one jeans presents and swine High School score. I will say it's interesting to hear that you haven't had a job in a while because you did walk in with the stink of desperation.

I won't lie. I was pretty desperate. Asato, you were You were you You started with, uh, after

Chow. You quickly moved into a sob story which which we love, we love. I mean, that's what we need for

our pitch, because we don't like we say we didn't want any of our teachers to come in clean, you know? I mean, we don't want we don't want people who have nothing, no, have had no trouble in their life with people who have who have tried and failed. Another

one of our models is sort of, you know, life's messy. Get a helmet, right?

Exactly. Which is interesting, because I did notice that you were driving the car that you pulled up to your interview in was a convertible that looked like it had no roof. Yes. Ah, And you, uh, you were wearing a helmet

Yes, I had been. You see, the story starts. I'm from Missouri, and one of my favorite things to do is drive my car in dry river beds. After all, the water's gone. Ryan, because you know, if there's nobody on the road, it's my riverbed. I could drive this fast or slow is I want

so one of your favorite

things is finding rivers that have dried up and sort of half piping your car in the tri River

bed. Yeah, exactly. I am a huge fan of formula, you know, on. And while I have none of the training or ability to drive a Formula One car, I'm either. Hey, me either. Now, I took a,

uh, three years of Spanish and a lot of the teachers I had the thing was immersive. They would speak Spanish only in class. It sounds like what you're doing is pretty exclusively English than throwing in one Italian word

way. Just dip in the toes.

And I appreciate it

because it's a next American teacher, right? Well, I mean, that's the

way I feel like I you know, we're teaching at a high school level, and so for me, I want the class to feel comfortable. So the majority the class will be in English about Italian. And then occasionally, very occasionally I'll say one word and my hope. My hope is that that word really sinks in. Ah,

and is it true

that you offer bread sticks in your

class, See? And the and their unlimited. See, that's off. Yep. Yep.

You can also we also have Caesar salad on oh, menu. Oh, no, no. It doesn't go much further than that Bread and seizes Radha's a Caesar salad. Are you

responsible for that? Or is that gonna

be something that we need to provide infrastructure? Because

I'll tell you this, you don't want any of Bill's lasagna.

Oh, okay. Uh, yeah. I'm sure you make a fantastic lasagna.

He makes a great lasagna, but it's almost always poisoned.

Yeah, he poisons competing sports teams with his losing. Yeah, I used to make poison lasagna and give it to opposing teams. And this guy's lasagna could make Garfield turn his nose up.

Uh 00 We wouldn't have to

hate Mondays anymore because he'd never see another one dead. Dead dead cartoon cat cause the lasagna.

Well, I will say I like to say that my Caesar salad and breadsticks are poison free. Eso please come by. Check him

out way. Just need to know what we need

to give you. Because we, of course, want our students to test higher. So we can be the first school in our district and receive Maur. Government funding is right. So

we need to give you what you need because the the the smarts

will trickle up. You know, if we have a low level if we provide you with what you need, So

any anything.

Well, I mean, I'm definitely gonna need, uh I'm probably going to need the largest classroom on campus for its very much so. Ah, and

that's good, because a lot of one wing

of our school is an old circuit city.

Yeah, wait, I zoned to be a ah school. It's It's, you know, we're in the process again. The permits together to really make sure that that works out. If Garrett at the permit office would get back to me.

Yeah, you're listening, Garrett, get

toe work. I'm so fucking sick of these government employees. Bureaucratic bullshit. Is it like that in Italy, this bureaucracy

Oh, very much so. The government meal. Italy is a night notoriously corrupt, notoriously corrupt. There are very few police, most of the police or the military. It's It's an exciting place for tourist, but not a great place for Resident. That's good. Um, yeah, eso. So everything's going good. So far, you've been in the school for a week. Sort of like getting your classroom ready. No, everything's perfect. I've taken all of the desks and chairs out of the room. You know, I ain't for me. A good part of it is that all of the students need to stand for the entirety of the class. Marie. That's good. That's good for their bags. Exactly. I'm thinking about spine structure. And also,

you know,

it's so common in a language class that the students want toe slack off, take a nap when their heads down on their desk, and they can't do that. If I'm forcing them to stand for the entirety of class.

That's great. It's like, you know, trigonometry, calculus, English. I know when I'm gonna use those in the world when, um, I never in the world gonna need to speak a foreign language slack slack. Yeah, it seems like such a waste. Other language Hiss. Um, we will not. Some people were like they should teach taxes in school. How to do your taxes and what to No,

absolutely not. No, no. Hi, little math and all this hell history. That's

what we need, man. I saw that you earmarked for funding Vespa per student.

Now, that is on part two of why I need the largest classroom and none of the chairs or desks because four times a week, So one day is all in class learning and standing. And then the other four days of the week, every student amounts of espada way all drive around in a circle.

I was going to say it looked like you were build building sort of a velodrome in there. Yeah, like e Z. Uh oh, Papito. Er, I'm not sure I don't

know. It's a noise. You understand? The o E. I used the past participle. You understood? But yeah, I'm building sort of a race trick

is order eso Usually those velodrome are for, you know, cycling powered cycling you're gonna face a chunky Vespas are very much so it's gonna be a lot like that big metal circle at the circus that people are driving motorcycles around in a little, I mean this side. We don't know what I'm

gonna do. Full flips over,

right? Good. But But, Dad, I did also noticed that you, uh you did book time in the metal shop. Uh, thio, uh, or ornament. These Vespas wants their purchase

well, very much so. I'm thinking I've

always I'm a big fan of What's the What's the sport called Where all the ladies, it's usually late. Roller Derby. Okay, I also love volleyball, but

yeah, I'm kind of thinking we do. My hope

is that a little bro into some quart of competitive roller Derby esque thing where I say the bikes are outfitted with spikes in other and people like tax, and that's difficult to get the really up there, you know, really up the data.

Now it is. It's very much like way all know, the

horse race that takes place in Sienna every year they race them around on that It's been I'm inspired kind of by that

e. I mean, in a way, it xhm or immersive in the Italian sort of culture than just speaking the language. It sze using the brain of an Italian to create a recreational activity.

Because if we spend the first

years really forming and shaping the brain to be ready to house Italian culture, how easy it will be to implant Italian language Get later in

a correct American baby, for example, could never learn Italian because it's got an American mind. It's impossible, but it's so strange to Italian base brains, too big theme. American brain is one of the modern marvel.

Did you did you know that that an American brain is £8?

I have really incredible. But this is what I had to sadly abandoned my first son. And that's kind of where I learned this is that American brain cannot take on the Italian language way.

Actually, we we heard the story of your abandonment of your first son in your interviews. First thing you started with, and we do all we all sympathize

here you just dropped. It is a casual life event to explain the size of a brain, but it was something that happened was really

it's a pretty ongoing thing that you've abandoned him, but you keep checking it off course. He's my son. You really haven't abandoned him at all. I just live kind

of far. Reservists are your sort of continuously abandoned me at banning him once a month.

It's It's coming and going. You and your son are

very much in Italian. You and your

son are on and off again.

See, uh, e o a or you're a l'm your fee, Leo. On and off

the ice is now. Speaking of on

and off. Uh, you came to us pretty quickly after we gave you the job. And you said Italian is a love language.

So I want

to implement that into my class. And I want all of my students to participate in fiery Italian love. Right?

Right. My love language. So you are asking

for, like, beds and you've also for the class. You've also trimmed your class roster now to be equal men and women

very much that I insisted upon that. I mean, there's I'm not going to have any mixing of genitals now. Well, we will have mixing of genitals, but not like

a gym. It falls right, which is not belief you have. It's very a talented very alley. Italians are notoriously homophone. Lay.

All of these feelings I have are none of them are the desire by this abandonment of my son is desired. Put Children on bikes outfitted with the metal spikes

attacking chipper. None of these things are my values. I You're bringing a hateful culture over here. Yeah, you're

you're you're allowing our students to experience the truth that they wouldn't otherwise

experience. Actually, thank you. And this is why I belong at Levi's. Jean's 401 presents

swat high school. Yeah. I mean, you got on a podium, started pounding, right eggs underscore one. We don't I don't think we have to

say the mascot every time we

wait. Guess if you have any school pride, you'd feel differently. Your eye, Because your name is already in

there and we say your name every time. Okay, I get that. And

ho bathing pigs underscore one bathing pigs on Douglas. Quick question. I'm sure you get it all the time. Who's your favorite Italian?

Well, that's a tough one. Yeah, I'm gonna have a question. It is on course.

I'll tell your mind. And then you could tell me if you agree or disagree. Roberto Benigni.

Oh, all right there,

Balto Bene. That's what I say.

Oh, he's great. There's a lot of my

favorite is a lot to love, but sadly, I'm gonna have to go with the one and only Rocky Balboa, uh,

one of the more famous Italian. And you know why Italian American?

Exactly. With the Americans they took off. You don't add blank American, too. Don't want better. It spices up. It's a melange. Yes, absolutely. It's a difference between cheese and cheese and crackers. Better milk and chocolate melt? Exactly,

absolutely. I mean ugly. That's a bad word. But then you had Americans to the end of it. You got one of the funniest TV shows I ever watched. I was obsessed with that show. Ugly Americans. Central's too short lived, cartoon, Ugly American. I mean, God, I wish ugly Americans was a popular his family guy.

Sly Stallone. He's He's up there for who

he really is. Well, not Sly Stallone. Absolutely. I want nothing to do with that man. I am only interested in the fictional character Rocky Balboa.

Pretty heated right there. Do you have a past beef with Sly Stallone?

Very much so. I once ran into. I was once at a polo match on Iran, into Sylvester Stallone in the restroom on. He wasn't one urinal and I was the one next to him. He looks over at me and he says, Hey, you enjoying the horses? And I said, Do you mean the cavity? And he says, No, the horses. So I hard slap him across the face and ram,

both of you in the urinal. Both. But you tell me, Is it done? Before you ran off? I had the Oh, never zip up wondering why your dick is out right now. Then I'd explain.

Well, don't worry, all right. I wear long shirts. When I teach, everything will be covered.

You really have picked up that Italian flair, and those guys are always thinking about romance. You know, some people call it nasty, but I think it's sexy. Well, what's the difference between nasty and sexy May hang ups?

Yes, exactly. Sex is nasty. We can all agree.

If your sex ain't Maris T. It's not

good, dude. No bueno, No, that's Spanish. That's gone, Adis. Manage. So that's part you. You occasionally

dip into Spanish and see if the students say, Wait, hold on.

Exactly. That's great. That's a great teaching style. That's somewhat like Todd. You just go through

the world and make mistakes and let them correct them. Correct? You And they learn from I taught Spanish for