Chicken Perm with Resident Substitute Teacher Carly Winston (Elle King)

and the car Thio show

back to sleeping in the campus again. You are Really? Yeah. Well, I don't Have you used

your ass? What happening house? Well, having my house, my ex wife just moved in with her new boyfriend. Oh, my God.

The euro into your house

in my own house.

How did that happen?

I thought you had control over your domain quickly. It happened quickly. Quickly. Was it like, part of, like, a bar Bet Barb it a bar Bet like you

lost a baby. Yes, I lost a bet to Roseanne. Um, bar. And

so it wasn't a bet

in a bar. It was a bit too. Roseanne Barr, the comedian

you were just after

she was in town. This was a huge thing. She stopped eight of the local diner. She is in a nut

convention, right? She was here for a night convention. Yeah, she was here for the net convention. She's doing the national anthem, and

I got a stinger. I mean, what she said every time the

national anthem was one of the best things that's ever happened on television.

Guys, and we Can we

just stop and take a moment how beautiful the national anthem is. It's wonderful. I can't get enough of it. The tops of games.

I listen to it. I wake up to it. You d Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah. Oh, the phone. You

Well, I walk the aisle to it. Really? Every time. Every time. How

many times have you been married? Uh, in America. Three and outside of the country.

29. How s O those air nonbinding. Are you? Just You have those? Is that part of, like, vacation for you? Yeah. Vacation. Part of occasion to go get married. That's the hole for

their binding. But they

can't catch you. When you said yes, they're binding, but they can't bind me. Eso

Roseanne Barr's

in town for the nut convention. She sings the national anthem. Um, and you lose a bet to her.

How did this bet happen?

Well, it's a great question. Roseanne and I go way back.

Really? Yeah. You guys. You guys, You dated her college? Her college roommate?

Yes, I did. Her college roommate, um, years after they were in college, but they kept in touch. She went to her cauldron. It was Tom Arnold. Yeah, right. She and I dated for a minute, right? Uh, and so and he introduced you and Roseanne would love each other. And so we met. We got along. And our That's early strippers. We bet on things were both gambling addict. So that's already so we had this weird bet on we were betting on the Phillies game on and said, uh, is that the baseball game? Uh, yeah, the Philadelphia Phillies. Okay.

I wasn't sure. I thought it was Maybe the that horse, that horse.

I was thinking it was polo. Yes, I thought I called horses Polo horse sport. I

thought it was that thing where all the guys named filled in town get together and they race each other and stuff. I

think both those things I've lost money on both of those. They canceled the fillies with the men because of all those guys who got hurt. Yeah, they'll get hurt in the running of the Phils.

Yeah, yeah. The running of the pills is crazy.

If you guys don't know, there's some wine D streets in our town and a lot of men named Phil You together, we

most fills per capita. Um, and they get together and they let him loose and everybody runs from moment,

have the

just like the running of the business. Normal people running from Phil's owner's name is not Phil. They kind of

get the fills all greased up and little aggravated in a small pen. And then they let them go and they chased the normal people on the street. Yeah, they're upset when they let him go.

Okay, so you bet on the Phillies

game the baseball, I bet on the Phillies baseball team, I said, There's no way. There's no way this game's ending.

What an insane bet. Of course the game's gonna end. You usually bet the Phillies are gonna win or the Rockies air gonna lose.

I have this gut feeling that this game was going

to be a fair, went into extra innings. It was probably

what it was in the 10th inning, and I said, All

right, but it's not gonna be one into going and I

get it. I get it. You mean that's the time to make that?

10th inning, the Phillies had ended up hitting two grand Slams, so they were up 14 to 3

In the

was post that Yeah. After two grands labs,

I said the wrong.

You have a rally cap on or something? What was going on?

It's right. I had my road.

Huh? Huh? Oh,

you're gonna say I know exactly what you're gonna say. Your status guys, I know we've been recording this whole time. Get fucked. May

we do this? We

do this every time. Look, and I don't think we're on the air, but I think that this is also kind on y'all on y'all shoulders here cause I told you last week Let's just go in there and pretend like we started recording the moment we walk into the room. You

know, this is your fault. I don't think it's all my fault. We forgot that immediately after you told us that we're still in bed. I'm sorry you need to say it before the podcast day. Luckily, we're so in

the podcast zone that despite not thinking that we've been recording, we've been saying things like for those of you don't know,

this is right. This is what happens. We are

aware. I think my headphones aren't on. No. Now they are okay. And you know what? Everybody Welcome to the teacher's lounge, the first personally podcast pretending the issues relevant to the greater Levi's presents. UH, 32 31 spank cut jeans, Yes, prison

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cuts. Anyway, I'm Howard Levis, of course. The head of administration and academics here at Swine High School on Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. Don't you guys introduce yourselves as well?

Well, my name is Sam weatherman. Still a charge of big security here at the school and also in charge of the little boy robot program that's getting beefed up. We've, uh, more dollars to really make sure that that program is safe and, you know, being

taken care of a little boy. Uh, little little. But what was it? Ah,

little little boy. Cowboy, little cowboy. Little black cowboy robot. Little

cowboy robots that are, of course, assimilated into the school to make sure we can keep an eye on everyone.

Yeah, we got the idea. Obviously

from West World. Sort of sort of like the show. We have these really human looking robots that air, uh,

in the park.

Which is what? I've been going to school,

right? And sort of, you know, running it for us. They

sort of are in charge of a lot of the storylines for the kid's quest. World was created by a man who also wanted some sons. That's right. I famously cannot have Children and metal out. Correct. You went on

a press tour when you were ah, uh, declared impotent, right? Local

rest works I was. And what it was, I was declared legally impotent. but I'm physically not impotent. I could have sex, but I'm not allowed. Right? I thought the verdict was insane. Some sort of. Hey, me too. It was unanimous that there were six judges that all unanimously voted. No, it wasn't the jury. The jury was silenced. Six judges came in, said unanimously, This man can't have sex. I didn't think that was something that's legally possible. Tell what magical Leah died. I was happy because this was his brain child. And you know, I'm not a member of the Supreme Court Supreme Court. It's absolutely a lot of spring

court cases get get buried and you don't hear about them. But Sam was in the Supreme Court for almost six weeks, and they were weighing in on whether he is a man who can have sex.

It was the P. P. Versus the United States, right?

Yeah, that's right. I was really pushing for for something more than the peopIe, because it I felt that it dehumanized me and made it really hard for me to fight the case as a human being. Well, we're sort of laughing throughout the case, and I said, Hey, this is a big deal for me. You know, I'm not just my pee pee. I am Sam. Weatherman. Of course. You know you

had that famed. I'm not just my people

speak its first of all. I don't know if anybody understands it is tough to give a speech from the stand. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's tough to really

do it all the time in movies, but in real life, it ain't easy,

because it's I had note cards. I had bullet points I wanted to hit. I was trying to do a literal speech from the witness stand, and it's just a different meeting. We used you. I remember

practicing with you that morning. Think your, uh your PB speech? Um And you were You were You're you were on, like, just really? You didn't even need the note cards. And you famously threw him out right before

the bathroom. Well, I wanted the jury to see me

do something bold, and that was a huge

mistake. I was in

the audience of the court and you stood up the same weatherman to the stand, Please. Um and you walked up. You put a little cheap trash can on the ground. You push your foot on it. Opening up. It was one of those foot operated ones. And you threw those notecards as hard as you could into the trash.

Yeah, well, only a few

of them landed in the

trash. I'm sort of flattered and everything, but, uh, yeah, I forgot most. My speech. I lost the case. It was tough. It was a tough thing. Tohave someone basically say you're legally Yeah. Forbade. Yeah. If you like a loving relationship. If you have sex, you goto federal prison. Well, I go straight to the electric chair. It's they've they've upped it since. So they brought the electric chair back for this, right? Yes, Absolutely. Sitting there waiting on only Yeah, I'm in the old electric chair. They brought it back. The oldest one. The 1st 1? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. The one that they just on a couple of Russian spies. They took me in there. It's pretty nice. I will say you're right. It is an antique.

It's nice. It's wow. Wow. But hoping not to get they're trying to stay

celibate. Anyway, I have the security of the campus locked down. I got nothing better

to do That is a huge new thing for you.

That's right. It's crazy because we have a famous virgin. Okay. All right, all right. And you can't have set. Well, you would

know that I legally, you guys would have proof that I wasn't a virgin. If he showed up to my life sex demonstration in the gymnasium last week, you decided not to be. Oh, that invitation was disgusting.

What do you mean? No one showed up, but I'm not so sure it actually happened. The drones have no footage.

It absolutely did have. And what do you mean? Those invitations were discussing. I owe. And I opened 350 condoms. Took the condom out. Yeah, put a little note inside of him and they were lubricated. So the note got sweaty and I said, I'm out to everybody in the school. Who? I wanted to see me have sex.

asked me What do you mean, disgusting? And then you describe the most disgusting invitation. I

You just

don't find that disgusting.

I find that natural. What? You've never opened up a condom and put a note in it and gave it to a woman? No. Interesting.

No no interesting. Well, what was? So can you tell us again? What? What was it for? Why did you do it? Because I'm sick and freaking tired of you guys coming on this podcast and tell me I never had sex before. I understand the

motivation, because last week we really drug You threw the money.

Yeah, that's true. You got, like, one

of the most fun times we've

had on this pod. Yes, we all high fived. There was a blast ridiculing you for being a virgin. Must've made you sad

way. You know, it didn't make

me sad because I've been dealing with this shit for my entire life. All right,

what does that guy have to do to

prove to his friends that he's had sex

before? Look, once. Okay. Okay, that's funny. I mean, I don't have anybody corroborate your story. Any other party that doesn't deny

it, You know, nobody. Nobody's denied having sex.

You've had 200 denial since we've got into this. What are you talking about? Checked with every prostitution town, and they'll vehemently say Yes. I know exactly you're talking about and know the rumors, not trying trying to prod me hundreds of thousands of dollars. And yes, I said, no. That's

unfair. All right, listen, I have had so much sex. In fact, I bet you I've had the more I have had the most sex of any person there is in this room. What? What are you

what happened at

the live sex demonstration that we luckily missed? Well,

I walked into the gymnasium. Uh, my friend Carol was there. We had discussed previously that this was not gonna be emotional sex. This is gonna be sex that was there. Just demonstrates that I was capable. This

is really off.

What are you talking about? This is really knows. You know what? This is a new low for even us. No, it's not okay. You guys drug

me down here. You guys forced me to do this,

okay? This is not I didn't want to do this. We marched Carol into a gym packed with student. No, there were students of them. But what are we inching for new students there? Because it seemed that

there was some sort of distraction. I don't know. Maybe something.

We wait. We, ah, found out and made sure to squash the invite so that no one showed up

to, you know,

trying to stop you from ever having sex. Oh, come all right.

Yeah. I'm starting to feel that way. I'm starting to feel like I'm the

thing that makes you guys feel like Big Man.

Well, I'll just say this.

I'm not jealous. It's not from that. It's not pure jealousy from

you. I'm just sick, man. I don't know what I did. You fuck

Carolyn in front of our just in the gym by

her name was Carole, not Caroline. Listen, maybe and no, we didn't have sex. Okay, I know we didn't, because it would have been weird for us to have sex in an empty gym. That's the first

legit excuse. I've heard from me for never having sex.

You know what? I don't know what I don't know what to say, Guys. You guys really pushed me to the edge Sometimes. I hope you know that. You know, a couple weeks ago, you told me to kill myself.

Bill. Well, well, we're still waiting. You just want me to kill myself. No, no, come on. Listen, You found this school, and that makes me happy. I wish I could. Come on. This is

you guys know you guys heard about what happened? The bottom was piggy bank has either been stolen or misplaced. I don't know where it iss. Okay, Kevin. Kevin McCallister, also known as Macaulay Culkin.

Well, it's out. Yeah, we were. People need to know. Macaulay Culkin

took his lunch break or something. He comes back, and either somebody walked in there and still litter. Somebody moved it or, like, put something over it, and we haven't. We will find it yet,

but it's not there any

more devastating. It's just devastating. As you all know, we keep all the money that funds this school in a bottomless piggy bank that is a pig with its pants. Ceramic pig with his pants pulled to the ground, showcasing its grotesque genitals. Sorry, Imogene. Sort of ceramic genitals. It was designed by one of our best friends, Pablo Picasso,

which we've told this story on every ever

set of the broadcast booth. I don't think people no way. It was designed by one of

our best friends, Slaughter Acosta and no relation to

well, lots of relation to Petey slob. Low, but no relationship. Lots of relations,

Petey Slob Low. As

you all know, I'm not a Petey. Pablo.

Hey, was a singer

Petey slob, Um, from South Carolina? Carolina? Yeah. Come on and raise up. Take your shirt off, stuff it up your butt and put out

what it's gross. Was Weighs heavily related to slob love Picasso

way. Keep all of our money in cash and it's

been stolen. Okay, It's been stolen. Don't searched every large room in the city and we can't find

it. Yeah, on. And, you know, we're leaving this up to you guys. Okay? Yeah. We're leaving this up to the listeners. If you guys want to just act like nothing happened and return the bottomless piggy bank to the room it was in, we will be

no questions And those questions, but we will. We will reprimand the hell out of you. You're gonna hear it from us. You you will hear from not getting off scot free for this. No, this isn't like a polite drop off thing.

I mean, lucky for you guys,

we are making money through all of our for profit ah departments around the school. The doing that lunch room is pretty much a fully functioning grocery store. It

That's right. That's right. Our our theater and arts program is paid for through the next five years because I have you guys heard. But my play, my conversations with the devil is going to Broadway and it's sold out. Really? Yes. Old great way. That's right. We're going to the great

White way now. Now you have been submitting

to Broadway, but you finally got on. And this is the Broadway, right?

Yeah. This is the Broadway. It's Ah, 42nd Street, Newark, New Jersey.

Okay, that's not the one I'm thinking of, but, uh, Newark. A lot of

people think New York is where Broadway is. A main brother.

I thought, you know,

if you wanna watch crap if you want to watch you boring crap, you know, go see your cats there.

Okay? Yeah. Yeah. You're having hand said

Yes, dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, Ham, whatever you want. But New York, New York's Broadway, That's where the real art

are. Their theaters on 42nd Street in Newark. Uh, well, any

the world is a stage, as they say. No, I know there is not a place where you can sit comfortably and enjoy a plate. Get a line in the water.

What is their

theaters in New York, New Jersey, actually are take place in abandoned smoke factories, which are just factories that just create smoke their

humps smoke out. That's right, which was a booming industry

in the 80. It was a huge industry. Obviously you imagine a city like Pittsburgh God, you know, new work. Any American lake, Michigan and Michigan Old Dick Kensi in England. Uh, the smoke factories. And now those air defunct but disgusting. Still, so people don't want to go in, right. And you could do a great play in there so that I'm doing my conversation with the devil in their

eye. See? Now sold out. Run.

No tickets.

No, I mean, we sold out quickly. Uh,

right, right. You had even

done a regional production yet

you made a lot of compromises. Are just Wait. What did you have to change? Because this is a passion project for you. But in the meeting you get,

you gave in on everything. I'm still passionate about it. There are a lot more references. Thio How much preparation h has helped me over my life.

Hey says, Maybe sponsored by prep age of

the people who sold out, we've instead of Constance that we're wearing nascar style stuff. Body says Yeah, yeah. So, uh,

what all

the big productions air doing now, though, And Bron in Newark. I've I've been reading about it, and every show now is sponsored. Anybody who tries to say that they've got integrity and they're doing the art, their art, for art's sake.

In 2017 2017 if you're not

making money like really money off of your art, you're a bitch.

Agree? Wow, I love that. Agreed. I like a heart of that bitch we're making. We're not bitches because we're making money off the school. Yeah, yeah. If you don't handle Robert, you're a bitch. I love that I love that. Show that billboard in front of this school. I also makes

a gif of that line, I hope. I hope my name is attributed to it in something

I heard

most of your play at this point is a go is Ah, an infomercial.

You heard correctly. Okay, It's an infomercial for X two through four for the hair. Y p. It's a great product.

You use hair white. Yeah, it's for those of you don't want

to shower. Yeah, it's well, it's for people who are on the go and need an alternative solution to the long shower.

Those who don't want to shower with the first I know I've seen

the hair wifey and commercial.

It's the first, the first. Do you not have time to shower? And the whole audience goes, No, I disagree with the way Disagrees. Came here a lot of happy. That's one thing I make plenty time for.

The next question is, even if you don't, I'm sure you're wearing a hat or putting product in your hair. And everyone said,

No, that's fine. So the 1st 4 if

I miss the infomercial, is kind of a back and forth of trying to get on some sort of common ground. Very frustrated. The host is mad.

Yeah, uh, the host is you or your wife because now that's changed because it was you and the devil.

Sorry. Except, of course, well, neither of us are in the play anymore. Due to some of the compromises we had to make. One of the compromises was you remaining nowhere near as faras possible from it was what was the word?

Yeah, I noticed. You're not even out of town. You're not even injured.

That's correct. It's barely my play anymore. But years your baby I'm an artist, you know. Sorry. It's got to sell out, and this will pay for my future art. I'm very confused because

you it seems as if you

sold an infomercial for the hair wifey that takes place here. Y p um

you're very different from the hair wifey, wifey. Their wife eat. That's where the big money is for takeoff. Yeah. Are you tired of your wife being a human that can walk around and talk to you and er well, didn't you always wish your

wife was a ball of hair?

Oh, Herr wifey.

Also this I've used hair wifey as well, and they sound crazy. But honestly,

you fucked a ball hair. Yeah, I fucked in here, right way beyond the hair

wife. He would turn you down.

I actually tried to buy a hair wife. He had a sex shop. Romantics, you know,

over on the corner. Then a cop walked in. I had to stop because you're gone straight to the

chair. Yeah, I didn't want it, but I don't know what the rule is. You have sex

with an inanimate object, and you'd be fine.

Well, they have your face up in sex shops like unwanted post.

Yes, but you know, they're old timey, and so I respect that. At least it's, like,

fun and kitschy, and it doesn't say or alive. It just has wanted dead.

Yeah, it's I look out for this man and his 42 cowboy sons.

Yeah, you're easy to spot. Totally. Yeah. Well, at this point, I have sort

of an entourage of my Children. Follow me around my Children. I mean, robots that have program to watch the school

later. Jessica, Uh, way. Yeah. I'm excited to see what happens with this play because it sounds like you didn't make compromises. I'd be interested to see what happens when the show actually goes up. Yeah. I mean, it would probably be a good idea at some point for you guys to maybe team up what you have

to promote my show. You've been promoting sports so well.

Yeah, well, you know, I I

am. I apologize that during my last event, it was such a hit. It was the time when the pig are bottomless. Piggy bank. Which

do that? Does anyone know what that is? It's a giant ceramic

piggy bank. Huh? What? That's bottoms pulled to its ankles. Let's g o on. And you should see it's grotesque. Genitals are kind of splayed out on showing on. And it was done by our friends. Slob Low Picasso,

right? Who? Everyone? No relation to Picasso. Everybody knows this, I think at

this point. But it was stolen

during my last event, which went off really well. Really, Really? Well, um it was a CZ. You guys know we've been I've been promoting. Ah, the school athletic events here as kind of Ah, the way Don King would have just really, really having a blast. Um, and promising, um, lots of different things that happen at these these events. You did

a kind of like a Thrilla in Manila style track event where you had the whole event happening in Africa. Yes. And you promoted the hell out of it.

I really promoted the hell of it, and

huge. I mean, that made the school

it was

almost $30 million. We're very happy for that. It was really unbelievable. A lot of people say it's because we threw

the match. Yes. Yeah, well, I have been Ah, And this might be, um, you know, against the rules, but everybody does it. Um, you throw the matches, you get tons of people to bet on it. And I've been having all of our, um, our athletes just roll over. Really? Just just

can you believe

the in those movies where it's a thing where it's like the guys are feel weird about rolling over in boxing for money and it's like they have integrity? It's like integrity.

Fuck off. Yeah, money is awesome. It's unbelievable. And of course,

all of the athletes here getting paid under the table we're not like the NC double. No

known in. In, In, in, in.

We're paying athletes and we're letting them know up front you're getting C T E u. Getting bad brain damage is going to hurt you for life.

We actually give a scan at the end of the season, and if they don't have c t, we actually just hit him in the a bunch of times.

some of the money back. It's like, Where's the sacrifice? Exactly exactly. But this week, um, you know, I apologize that, you know, things got so exciting that

Well, then they have to give

no, it's just that I'm a little scared, you know, because with these sort of like organized crime type dealings, where you're throwing matches and like bets, you're having people bet on your athlete and then purposely making them them lose. You get

a lot of people that get angry at you. And we know there's been no shortage

of, ah, sort of like vandalism and death threats and like, yes, I'm bomb threats,

which is fair. It's not fair for anyone to attack your character just because they don't like your behavior. I mean, like, listen, I mean, I do awful things that doesn't have

anything to do with my

character. I mean, we I have been,

you know, I have been, um, in talks with the mob. I got in with them. I need protection. Um, as you guys have seen that gentleman Carmine, who's at all the events he is, he's a pretty dangerous guy. Uh, he looks just like Stevens it from the E street band. He looks like the tightest hanky around

his head isn't a hanky and not a head scarf.

Yeah, he has a have a e. He's got a guitar on. Yeah, way

all know the worst part. You can't be on you give me on Mike around this guy without him trying to share your mind.

Yeah, he came in when we were recording the podcast today. Like I was supposed to sing with him. Yeah, he's silently got his backup. Thio you right now I gotta get out of

here, Carmine. And he's also spends a lot of time in the city of Lily Hammer. That's right. That's right. That's right. A

lot of parallels to the career TV bends. And

but we've seen him at the games. We seal way. See lots of people walking up in handing him just envelopes. I'm assuming of cash. I don't know what what

comments doing all He's keeping all the books. I saw someone walk up in hand. Him an envelope that was pretty pretty positive was stuffed with a gun. Yeah, I could really see the outline of a gun in the envelope. Yeah,

and I don't know if this is the thing I should bring upon the air. Not, But it's just a thing that I noticed. I noticed you look into your gym bag after the game the other day. You're Tim in your gym bag. You opened up your gym bag on there were talking

about that guy named gym

bag. You opened up a gym bag.

You open them up on, boy, he cried.

No, he's talking about your bag.

No talking about your job, your bag that you keep her close. And you know the story about you. You opened up your gym bag, and there was, ah, severed raccoon head inside of Yes.

That is in

case I need to let someone know that they're on their way out.

Okay, so it has nothing to do with you being in in hot water, in trouble, in any fashion. It's helping. Oh, is that what that means? In what was interpreted the family, that somebody

put that in my bag to give to somebody else. You

know that I am in it for you. Oh, that's not made a pass. What did you think

happened when common gave you the kiss of death when

he made out

with me just you decide. You know,

I thought that I thought that I was like, Carmen, I really I really appreciate it, but I don't do that no more.

Yeah, I thought he knew

about my phase in college. I think she

might have been suggesting that you might be a dead man's. Really? Yes. That's usually just means in the Mafia community.

So I didn't Carmine make

out with someone and then murder them. Not too. Not too long. Afternoon. Really? You saw you witnessed that you wouldn't make it to murder.

Yeah, I heard about Carmine Will fuck

men and then kill them, right?

That's right. I was up at makeout point alone and I saw Carmine

in his caddy on He made out with a guy on

when he left a body rolled out the front door Now in Europe. But make a point alone. Are you pretending to make out with someone? Are you looking at? Oh,

no, I don't have a car. I

obviously can't have a car up there. And I can't bring a woman up there,

so, you know, make out point Usually is also a lookout point, right? I'm there alone looking out ice

and sort of thinking about how I could never be with anyone. Well,

I'll let you know next time I'm going up there to have sex with someone, and you can come up there alone, and you can witness it firsthand.

I've never bought a sentence less than that one. I don't buy it.

I'll let you know I'm going to go have sex in public. That way you can come witness it. Yeah, right now, other

than all of the students here, the school who maybe have disagreements with us, Um, and hate our guts and the Mafia. And, um, El Chapo, do

we have any of these

government Belle and I said governed. Do

you have any

leads on who might have stole our bottomless pit? I don't You

know what? I was at the top of my head. No, but I can't o j can't get out of prison soon

enough. We're counting down the day.

We know his history with getting his own memorabilia back.

Pretty doesn't blow it. And to be fair, I think I think he, uh he's gonna be out soon and he'll he'll go

to bat force. Yeah, well, I mean he's gonna He's gonna be on campus teachings commercial acting class as well. Remember,

if there's one thing we know when o. J. Gets out, he's gonna get in trouble.

Uh,

attentions Line high students, this is Todd Padre. Today's announcement would like you all to know that they're not to student drop off zones based on how ugly your parents

are. We've

got a fun little guest in the studio today. We're gonna be talking Thio Substance Residents. Substitute teacher. Yeah. Carly Winston. Carly. How's it going?

It's going pretty good. Thanks for being here. Wow, Carly, always when we are in ah, bine, she will come in whether we have to fire a teacher or somebody's sick. Last minute

passengers drop out, too. Emotional distress a lot. Yeah. Sometimes

I just request that I want to come in.

Yeah, well, well brewed it.

Honestly, it's so it's so gratifying. And teachers appreciate it when you walk into the room and say, Hey, you know what, Tim, You don't have to teach today. Carly's got you.

Yeah, because you come in almost

as if you are an unwanted tag team member at a wrestling match.

Tickets for the students. It's to build morale. You make him feel like somebody out of the school cares about them.

Yeah, well, you picked a few teachers asked in front of students before, and it really pumps up the class.

They seem to enjoy it. Yeah.

You're trained. Fighter?

Yeah. Three time champion.

Yeah, you gave

a. That's not another match, David. You're a champion of that blood sport. Lead through

the death. I've killed

three people legally, of course. Obviously in foreign countries where it's legal to kill someone in

a fight. You killed Frank Dux.

First charge was legal to kill one fight.

As long as it's the same inside, they die. Then they assumed the risk

of death, right? But like, despite

your, uh, insane energy and killer instinct, you also know, you know, English math,

English speaking, like some of our teachers.

I do carry around a calculator. Everywhere I go,

you mostly teach a calculator. You come you gave you

busted us into the calculus class the other

day. I gave the teacher a rock bottom

and then started teaching calculator. You changed the whole course?

Well, yes. It's about what kind of words you can type

you immediately type you immediately dying. Five,

8008 turned it upside down and screamed Boo! And then walked out of the room.

the whole class said, I think that's a spoon, but

Yeah,

you didn't do it right.

It is. You're supposed to do it backwards. It's supposed to say you do it backwards. So when you flip it over, it says in the right

way. That's in Spanish, though,

uh, did in the wrong class,

I I'm still new. Okay, I'm a sub way.

Appreciate it. Because of what a lot of the main thing with you was. We couldn't find a subhead all their immunizations, and you had him all.

I travel a lot for all my fighting, so I'm constantly up to date with shots. I get shots I don't need.

You are immune to things that

people don't get immune to.

A very tough constitution. It's almost as if the cocktail of immunization says it has made you immune to every disease.

Is this what you're immune to? Coughing?

Yeah. I can't remember the last time I coughed.

Yeah, you. Ah, you took a, um a drug right in the neck that makes you call for a straight year, and then you're done with it.

Yeah. I mean, even if I tried to cuff. Yeah, I just

tried. You tried? It came out. That wasn't That's amazing. Modern science.

That's incredible. Weapons. If you choked on a piece of popcorn or something like

that, there's no sound.

So just hard wind. Why you so

you you choke a lot. Uh, because you can't cough to let people know that you're choking. So you go down at restaurants a lot silently.

I am an easy fainter, right? So I try not to eat a lot of food before or during any of my fights For while I'm teaching. Yeah. Yeah, because it's hard to signal to the students that about to hit ground.

And that's an interesting Now, that's an interesting thing for a fighters

to be an easy, fainter. Good thing you are so volatile and aggressive on offense because on defense, I mean, you know, you could probably choked out pretty easy.

You just don't let him catch you and just be, uh, you know, going straight

for blood. Yeah. Now we've known you for a while. You're more of a friend than you are. Ah ah, an actual teacher. And you're just someone who covers our ass. Says, um, we met you, Um, at ah, concert in 79. It was James Taylor, Jackson Browne, Jax and Brown. Um, it was

that he was there.

He was in attendance. He he was in attendance begging to get on.

So, yeah, we're not talking about who was playing. No. So James Taylor was in the audience. Jackson Browne was in the audience. Raffi abba concert was nah, but this was a really musician's musician type concert. Yeah.