Well, I'm gonna be honest. I murdered O. J. Simpson this week.

Really? What? What was it, an accident?

Um, no. No way.

Your old friend Todd U N o j. Or think is thieves.

Yeah, well, we got into a fight because he said Naked Gun 33 a third was the best one.

Haitai. Uh uh. I don't mean to scare you here, but

nothing scares me. We've been recording this whole time.

Oh, fuck that, Howard Mission in stores body with shaved in male pattern baldness. Fuck you.

God, you look bad. This is really bad for talk.

Todd, this is bad.

Todd, you just admitted that. Okay,

that's murdered one into.

Well, you saw my fingers were crossed the whole time, right?

Yeah. Yeah, Just a bunch of joking around. And I think on that note, we should jump right into the show for the day. So everybody, welcome to the teacher's lounge. Used to be the first, best and only podcasts pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. But of course, we've gone Hollywood. I am Howard Levi's in Stew Taylor's body of I am Ah, double tape. I'm getting mixed signals here of a boom Get makes thes a right thing is all ironic. You guys were trying to say that I'm ugly, Yes.

Pulling down my sunglasses in my convertible and looking behind me.

It hurts when you say him. If you actively

that boom bah, boom, My heart's coming out of my shirt.

Okay. All right. Great. Yeah. Nobody else should introduce themselves. We should just spend a few more minutes

shitting on me. That was a classic cartoon style roast with sound effects and imagery rather than punchline. That's right.

I'm Todd. Padre Champion. Razor scooter.

Damn. Todd Human even scooting around on that razor. I thought razors were done. You did not bring him back. But you have been using one a lot.

Well, tell that to me and my 15 year old friends. Razors are big and fun and cool.

I don't know why you

taught. I saw you cruised in about 9 p.m. Last night. E I saw you going down the street. You're cruising on Rockingham with your 15 year old boyfriends and and they sort of all dispersed and went their ways separate ways. And you came in pretty hot into the driveway and ate it hard in a concrete crease. Where your friends You went down hard on your face.

Yeah, I took. I took a hard concrete. I have not learned to stop these things. Uh, and I'll tell you, razors, air good on flat ground, but any sort of hills or bumps and I am off.

Is that part of the excitement that, you know, you could sort of fly at any seconds. That what, you think they're bad

adrenaline junkies? Yeah. And it's so I may have been doing it my whole life, and it's always been fun.

Yeah, well, they haven't. They've only been around for, like, the past 15 years or so. So we've been doing razor scooters. Your whole I

remember this is actually a hard left being a theater

guy. And then last week, for a week, you were escape border. So true. Yeah, it is true. We have recorded record of it. Todd,

you were doing

well. Um, I did try to skateboard for a while, and I found that that world was unforgiving.

Well, you said you've been doing that for your whole life for a

while my whole life, and I found that it was hard to keep up skateboarding and razor skittering at the same time. So why not follow your passion? And, um

Really? Yeah, Well, none of you remember this from season one, but I'm actually a big boogie border on, and, uh, it feels like razor scooter ring is kind of if you did this analogy. Yeah, of course. Uh, if you did analogy surfing to boogie boarding is skateboarding to Razor

Scooter. Yeah, you're doing the version of the extreme sport that anybody can

dio. Well, I don't. I failed my s a t s famously Andi, so I don't I don't work super well with analogies. I also failed, uh, doing Shakespeare. So I'm not good with metaphor either, so I don't really understand what you mean. All I know is these things air frickin awesome. Um, and me and my friends were having a blast on them. They, uh, you know, we're geared up. We're getting a lot of looks on the street

and what you are, I might Yet,

And of those good looks, everyone's gone. Old man in shorts on there, saying that I couldn't tell the inflection.

Yeah, I like. There's only way they're showing concern.

So there are other sentences after behind. Hey, old men in shorts. Yeah. Yeah, you can You breathe, sir. You can't ride those on sand. Do not try to all in my car. I feel like

you're You're overcompensating at this point, Todd. I mean your theater. No, your theater careers famously fallen

toilet. You push away you love.

You spent five episodes of this season or whatever. Just talking about how you were the king of Santa Monica Boulevard. Yeah. And what? Who took your place? What happened? What about all your place? Your Lin Manuel Lin? Manuel Miranda is one of

the people who look ma'am. Well, Miranda, I've been replaced by a drag queen

with such a confusing name. It's It's just they barely changed. Just

did you see your play mammals way?

Actually, wages, which is about It's an animal. It's animals. Mammals. Yeah, it's

mammals. It's ah, it's female mammals. It's really confusing. Yeah. Hey, also did this not very good? Three episode arc on Curb your enthusiasm, ma'am.

Uh, that was bad. That show is terrible. The idea for

the title again. What was it? A croupier Enthusiasm? Am Okay. That was the game that, you know, I feel like he was pushing

the whole time. I didn't believe that Hey had a sense of comedy. I

mean, that is the only version of the that tight.

And I am talking about Limon. Manuel, Miranda

Manuel. And anyway, what about John called Van Man? She is good. I like she's good. Yeah, your man Sam. Weatherman's there, ma'am.

Also just a rollback. Uh, I also really like Steven Seagal Sigel. Stephen C gal is? Yeah, that is good. Who else is good way have pivoted from our favorite drag queens whose names are based off of Broadway musicals into Was that her based off of action starts from the eighties.

Yeah, it's really amazing how their names Lynn themselves to Miranda

anyway, Sam. But you can't be same, weatherman, because you you're saying silver

sexy. Sam Silver. That's right. Previous. Yes, Yes. Had agent over at W W G E. And I got another deal in the works that I can't quite talk about yet, But you're really you'll see. Let's just say

yeah. What? No, no, You've been saying this all week. Let's just say and then you say exactly what you're doing.

Let's just say it's in Burbank.

Please tell me you're getting the Tonight Show with Leno back up on its feet. Well, let's just say he's out of the garage. Please tell me Let's just say you Banks is there. Let's just say you can hear the bass. Oh, my God, Trying to say, Is it 10 PM Conan is not happy. Jay Leno's 10 p.m. show is back in the works. Well, let's just say the audience is piping hot. Wow. And let's just say is he shaking hands with the Friar out? Hollis Tress Others and two drink

minimum and you got to meet the

guy. Okay, way. Do you take minimum for everyone in the TV studio? It's just

a televised meet and greet

again. I've already said too much. I can't talk

about this big Does sound get. Remember when Jay Leno humiliated Kanye West on his 10 p.m. show and ask him if his mom, his dead mom, would have been proud of them? Every he said Taylor Swift didn't deserve the award. That was good. Yeah, hard

questions. I've read a little bit about your this new show. And it's It's comedians and Leno studio being asked about dead parents,

right? Well, again, I can't I can't talk too much about it. But let's just say that's exactly what the show is called.

Okay, so it's just one question, and next guess. That's right. So it's

mostly celebrities that are mostly mostly celebrities that are, you know, a little bit older. Their parents may have just died or something. Exactly. Fresh off three. Funeral or post. Well, we'll see how good our Booker is. I'm hoping for pretty funeral. I'm hoping that once the show really takes off, people sort of know to contact. I

blew it. I was. I was at a showcase that the Booker ended up at people whose parents have died recently. Right? And I was crying. And your sob story. I gave my sob story, and I got to say I tanked. I was

I actually saw the video that I saw the video, that it was pretty Unfortunately, yes. You know, when you say when the guy walks in the room, you know who it is that what they say? Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. You walked in. We said nobody cares to his parents are dead, right? Nobody's bothered.

Well, it's fine because, uh, razor scooter ring anyway, and I'm probably gonna go pro.

Why? Yeah, I was coming up.

Razor scooter.

Yeah, but I have never seen that as

a private talking to some companies about sponsorship

energy are like like skateboarding brands like monster Energy. Are I talkto mobster energy. And what is this? Is this, like some type of ah, wine or something? Are,

um it's a wine, and it's ah, it's not mafiosos. It's people who like doing flash mob. I think it's a pretty specific crew. And they think that I could speak to people who enjoy flash mobs. My style.

You'll be like maybe riding a razor scooter around in the middle of a flash mob without drinking. Why?

Yeah, yeah, we're working out some kinks way ran it a few times, and I ran into the mob, most of them, and I wasn't able to stop her break, but

also sponsoring you. Is there any, like, competing sponsorships? Can you not do other wine? Are,

um no. Yeah, I've been I mean, I've been talking Teoh. I've been talking to the Yellowtail wine people.

That's like the worst wine on the way.

Well, yeah, that's what I say in the ads way

they're trying to carve out a certain niche. Whatever.

Grab yourself a slice of the worst wide on the market. I

think it's like, Yeah, are you writing the copy order that

you think that is me and I'm on the razor and I stopped. I come to an abrupt stop as the

When do you stay on your feet when you come to that

fall? And then I popped back up into frame, holding a Yellowtail fish. I cut it open and I go grab yourself. A slice of the worst wine on the market

is marketed towards people who want to do flash mob. Well, right now, this is not confusing. I think this is

not what the company wants. It's what I'm sending them

like, Oh, these air back and you have their address about I

have I have all of the addresses in

America contact because there's been a bunch of outgoing mail in the mailbox like

that's mostly me. Mostly, yeah, a

little bit of its meat.

Well, of course we're setting our computers are ants, but

yes, But anyway, good luck on that show. I'm OK. Thanks. If you need that, isn't there. And he needs a razor scooter sidekick.

Is it true that his, uh, his desk is a car? And he's interviewing from a car? J. Absolutely. He's out the bees at the passenger, kind of screaming over the passenger. Easy. He refused. Guess in another car, asking them about their dead.

That's right, He studio on this one. No, no, no thes outside. So just get

on the freeway.

Yes, exactly. Shooting it on allowed freeway between two convertible

that's shaking people's hands. Everyone in the front row. So there is a road thing is

it's the six layers of the four or five with six cars in front ice him and the gas star riding behind and he started. Stays up, reaches out.

E idea.

Let's just say we'll throw. Let's just say a posthumously on everything we just said,

Yeah, let's just

That's interesting. That that's happening like that makes you Ah, pretty busy guy. If you've got that show working, cause obviously you're working hard. Uh, yeah,

I'm representing. I'm producing now and executive producing.

I think we could probably break the notion we could probably break that.

I mean, I'm dying to break the news. I'm dying. I'm dying. Let's just say we got some news. Break. Yeah. Uh,

Bill Bill, you're starring in I just read the headline You're Starring in TV show.

Wow, this is all over deadline And it was a huge told. Yes, it was a huge told told Jeff Teacher turn new actor starring in TV show

and TV show is, of course, a movie. Movies, TV show the movie and

it's a musical movie isn't musical, uh, and guess what? It's funny. Truth. This is one of those classes were super funny. It's about a TV show. It is a full length movie, and it is a musical. It's not

just a full length movie, it's a really long

It's two hours and 40. We're hoping to get it to to

average throughout to our big cut. Two hours and 40 hours, two hours and 40 hours,

four score and seven years ago.

Timing. Let's just 42 yes,

but I guess we could also break the the other. The other part of that news, which is, which is also really cool. Um, as you guys know I've spent the last few weeks Uh, honestly, uh, thinking of falling into great Don't deserve thinking you were being a teacher, but I guess that experience sort of that experience, I guess, counts on your resume because I got a call and this was the first time somebody's ever said, Hey, we don't want you to set teach. We want you to direct And I said, I'm not gonna do it. First of all, I'm a set teacher and they said, No, no, no. We'll pay you a lot of money. We need you to direct a

40 telling me for weeks trying to get you to take this job.

And they were like, Listen, it's a 42 hour comedy movie musical movie, Easy, So easy Sell. And I said, Well, hey, you know what that sounds like A long term commitment, a lot a lot of consistent work station are open to but have never had in your life long term commitment, long term commitment. And honestly,

you had short term commitments and been with anyone

for just a fling or even any romance.

Well, I I look at myself as well. I look at myself and No, no, this No, This is a trick. Resurgent. No. Well, okay, So a virgin cough. Listen, I am a virgin, OK? We've established that over and over again for the animated in a sex king's body.

You're born again. Virgin.

Yeah, Okay, but I doesn't mean I haven't ever had a commit a committed moment. I'm committed. Every woman I go on a date with way start the day with that, I'm ready to go. I should Fucking loser. Okay, I show the ring when I show up at their doorstep.

Really? Yeah, way I see it,

You got that? You set your laptop on your knee? Yeah. Started playing the ring at the

door. Because the way I see, if she could let know if she could last through that movie, she can look at me and not be freaked out. If she could

laugh through the glass, you can last through the whole movie. It's a time of test for this woman. She can last for

that movie. I think that barrier barrier, because that means she'll never know

what they say. That this is what's going on. Usually

know. They usually just say No, no, There they just say, I don't know. I

saw this happen once, and it was you got in your knee and said, What do you get up? Get up. You know. Oh, my God. What is this?

Yeah, and I said, Just give him his trailers for I just bear with me. Bear with me.

You don't even ended out the trailer. No, it's a DVD. I don't know how to do that. Well, I remember

that one time. You sort of had a meet cute at the mall food court with the lady working with Sabar. Oh, yeah. And you guys sort of, you know, said something at the same time. Whatever. Buy. When you went to pay, you got on your knee and took out

yourself? Yeah, I was over in the in the, uh, h and m across the way, And I just heard you scream, Jinx. And then I saw you get down on your knee and I was like, I was yet Here we

go. Well, the thing was, I paid for my Sbarro. Ah, she gave my change and we both said thank you at the same time. And I thought

it was really kit sounds every day that happens all the time.

Well, uh, yeah. So what? Uh, and I said I said I said,

Jack's a great defense when you can say Yeah, so it's pretty hard. So my silver face, because I looked down at my feet when I heard that. So what? When maybe dry. Yeah. So what? I have to reconsider everything.

So, anyway, we said thank you. The same time I screamed jinx, because that's what I do. And I top down on my my knee. I took out my portable DVD player and I popped on ring one. Uh, she lasted through the trailers, and then she said, Sir, go. Wow, She lasted. She did like to the trailers. She thought

that you had a line backed up. That was pretty angry at you, So yeah.

I mean, you guys know smart. Um, all this is I

remember my first. I was in this line trying to get my auntie pasta salad classically. What? People edited a sour from Sbarro.

Did you know and I didn't know this. I'm just finding it out. All of the places at food courts in the mall have a sort of a silent ass in

front of, um, yeah, a lot of them leave it out of the branding. Yeah, but all of them in their corporate documentation place, Panda Express spending, whereas great. Just great steak escape.

Tar bucks,

Otar bugs. Starbucks with an extra ass on the end is pretty interesting. Yeah, I don't know that. Welcome.

Anyway, what were you gonna say? Todd, you're in line.

Oh, I was in my by. Go back to this. Um, this is out just to explain something. Well, now, which is your virgin? But the big story here is that so you're directing?

Yeah. You showed the movie. I'm using TV Shot of the movie musical Thanks to you and

your starting in it. And you package this?

Yeah, I did. Yeah.

Where was I when all this happened?

Thank you for having us coffee. What? You swore you weren't working at Burger King and of that, I think you're Burger King.

That's impossible, because if I did work that I got fired, remember?

Right. So with the other the other day, when someone came to the door looking for you on your shift that ended and you getting fired?

No, I'm saying if I did work there, I was fired. So you

just say you did, and you got fired. Now, Todd, admit it.

No betide Wait, wait. Way Couldn't let you know. All right? We couldn't let you know what we do. Devastate.

Well, congrats on the big Hollywood movie you guys all got. I know you've been working your whole lives for

Thank you much when I actually fell in our lap. I don't

do it. Not

Yeah. No, no. You bastard. Don't do a nod or a site.

I know this was your guys Big dream in that mind.

Hey, worst things you do,

you have me thinking one thing. Then you turn

me around the other way.

Well, congratulations, you guys just thank you. Know who else is in it?

Ludicrous. Ludicrous. In their

lurkers bridges, Jeff Bridges also lose Tadre way Got D j Qualls CJ palette Qualls equals j called salad.

Yes, and this is D. J Quellos dancing in place rapidly.

This is close after the marriage between I'm and D J

cow and he gets next to D j Calif and goes another one as if there's another deejay callin

eyes. It's gonna be a big movie. Luda, Jeff Bridges, deejay Calad and D. J. Qualls Callen are the stars, and I'm and, of course, Bill Cravy

Cravy introducing Bill Cravy like classic old Holly. Where we going?

We got him the end introducing to make everyone sure that he's brand new. And you really see how he knocks on

your negotiating on my title card stuff right now, which, which is very important, very, very important. Reeling is very important

because obviously, I'm I am not being built. It's powered Levi's since two Taylor's body. I'm just getting billed as Howard Levi's, which is amazing for May,

right, because you are. I mean, this animation thing that you are is not holding well.

Nobody isn't no keeping and eye cowering. Yeah, well, yes, that's right. I don't know of

another word yelling, You know how, like we all know where job of the head looks like now. But imagine what he started as. You're somewhere in between there.

Yeah, I'm Levi's pizza. The hat

he was created so that that's right. That's right

from the Mel Brooks movie. Spaceballs.

Always that a joke. Weight. Spaceballs

didn't come first.

Oh, Yes, it did. Yeah. Star Wars is a parody of space book or rip off depending on who you believe in.

And guys, I hate to say it, but you took the parity in the wrong direction. Usually you make a parody. Funny. You don't take a funny thing and make it a serious

Aren't you know, I've been doing that. I mean, you guys saw you guys saw my Austin Powers parody? Yes. Serious.

I thought there was dead serious. He gets very horny in that

movie. Talk disgusting, Sexy e like that at all. You can't you? Almost to the point. It was a part of analysis.

I made it with HTV. No,

right. A company for

it was unscripted content company. I worked with porno company. Well, that we've actually made a lot of unscripted movies. Uh, okay. That involved nudity and close up penetration in section

Todd. I think one of your big problems is that you're a liar. You're I You know, Listen, Ira, psychotic liars going on, I think you're not living your truth. I think that's why it's hard for you to find success. I have risen to the top because I have been brave Dream? Yeah, I'm a crime cream. I'm cream cream. I'm creaming right now.

And you could say the rest of the crop is showing up. That's me and builds

your right on my heels.

Cannot be totally honest with Let's see, my whole life all I've ever wanted, Mr Reid Razors a classic lie. And that's what I've been doing my whole

Can I tell you how many times the boxes in the living Todd way You said you said What's this? Yeah, And you pulled it out.

And your YouTube search history is just introduction to Razor Scooter. How to ride Razor Scooter in a

cruel thing. Play Wonderwall. What's a new cool thing? It was a search that you

can I change my personality. Is it too late? So

we're looking at each other. Search history. Now

you Levi's computer open in the living room. I mean, it's hard not to.

Okay, well,

it open on the search is very tab. Yeah. What was that? If you've

been recent revisiting your search history to get more information about the topics that you said

God, I gotta be honest. We've been hearing a lot of your cries for help. Both. Yes. Figurative and mostly literal. We hear, you

know, tell me who helped me

out of character or

no. Is that not a soundproof shower? Glass doors?

It is not. You believe what you are? A little bit of jar, but

everything is ajar leading up to your mouth. Wear it all. That's right.

Look well, and hey, uh, yeah,

again. Go ahead. But I'm happy for you guys. That's all I want.

E look, help you out. We're gonna We're gonna help you on whatever way we can. Obviously, we're still gonna listen, let you be our roommate.

And we said, Well, of course we're gonna still let you be, are really

let no take your helping. Shove it, you fuckers,

Todd. Yes, you do.

No. I tell you something

that will move. One

of my 15 year old friends lives in the young quits. And it's a pretty nice place, Todd. What's that?

The oak woods is not nice's bad,

so that's a natural. He loves it, Nigel. Yeah.

Your best friend is Nigel. 15.

I'm at night. He's a little dick.

Yeah, he changed his name to Nigel.

Oh, hey. Emancipate himself from his parents. Is this that

little kid that dresses like, you know, in, like a card again? Like a little therapist?

Yes, Todd, at the at the end of the driveway, smoking salvia last night, freaking out names on the mailbox. Rice. Yeah, well, I spanked odds, but I pulled this past the floor. Good. I spanked about his bare, but I said, you get inside.

I don't remember any of it because I was in a deep salvia hole. I saw God.

Todd, come on.

I think we need to take a second to just cool out. Fellas. It's attention. Attention, Drastically. Colon is high. Let's just take a deep breath. Maybe go outside.

Maybe talking Chose one

trick. Todd, how about we go inside? You show us a trick? I'd love to. Great. Let's get

out. Left the scooter at home.

Oh, my Theo. Okay, this is Sam Weatherman reading for music Necks Goblin. Rare on your toes. You were not. You have medicine on me. OK, Um well, this is actually music. Next. It's ah, cold medicine. Not actually you. So try to get all right. Well, hey, we all settled down. We're all feeling good now, Todd You didn't do a trick you tried and that that effort counts for something. They tried to do one without the razor outside. It was like, pretend you see the razor here, and he kind of ran around with both of his hands out

in front of him and still fell down into the sand effects. Make it some really know.

It was like it was like it had an engine. Yes.

What about the sound of like the audience cheering and applauding does make.

It would have been good if they audience liked you, but they were

jeering you. They were going. Ah, you saw. I admire the want to make it realistic, but it was a little

concerned. It was like watching a six year old really be really have joy until he fell. Except for that, you're 77

100. But anyway, uh, all that aside, guys, we gotta guests in the lounge today. We're really excited. Uh, this fella, he's been a friend of ours, actually, for quite a while, we didn't even know he had moved out here to Hollywood. But boy, is he here And boy, is he doing his thing. This is of course, he's actually a little spoiler alert. He's the composer of our theme song. Yes, Mr Orn Toronado.

Yeah. Hey, guys, go CEO Classic voice that you hear from the lounges. God, that's

all, baby. You got it?

Yeah. It's like you've, ah, huffed a little bit of helium. Uh, run. Yeah,

yeah, which, actually, that's what happened me when I was a kid when I was a dare, Okay? And a friend of mine said, You know, we was all doing the thing where you like Oh, yeah, Syria, you know, makes of what's so funny. And then it was a friend of mine. My friend Ricky said, like, Let's doom or let's do, like, been more than it seems.

Can't be the whole thing.

Yeah, just like you can't do it way. And we had just, like, a great big tank. Right? Let's get rid of Let's suck off the little Jassal. We stole it from a circus. Came.

Yeah. Wow, you a few things or desert.

We still a lot of stuff from that circuits. We was bad boys. You know what I mean? Like, we like to get into trouble. And, you know, we was like, riel. You know, hook thin Tom Sawyer tax.

You still got a couple of camels and a male clown.

We have we We don't have the camels anymore. Okay, Okay. Pass away. They passed away very recently.

I'm so sorry. You should get Leno show. Maybe he wasn't, But you should submit,

not parents. Sorry.

I'm afraid that if I go home, there's gonna ask me if the camels air. Shame to be I'm feeling the answer would be yes. Could we stop talking about the

way you you inhale the whole damn, uh, tank? A hell.

Yeah, that's right. I just like I just took a hit on that nozzle and I just kept going

and he's I just kept going. Is it true you were in the air for a little bit? You spent a couple of her teenage years a little bit. I've

spent my sophomore junior year of high school hovering in

the air, and I heard about this. Yeah, high.

Like David Blaine Just a little bit. Or, like, six

feet? No, this was like

a good I would say I was like, a good where you visible to the naked eye. Yeah, I know you see me, Bill? Come.

I remember. I remember. I'm just asking.

People could see. But what would happen was my my dad, um, he tied like, a rope around my ego, and he would finish up like a string. Yeah. Yeah, Well, consider it wouldn't be obvious, and I wouldn't be embarrassed to school. And so it was like, high quality fishing line, like piano wire that no one could see, really. And he would, you know, So I'd get in the car and he buckled me. And I looked normal. Normal. I looked like mostly, like, if you were to look at me, the only thing unusual be like, Wow, that guy wants to get out of that. He's straightening it. That Yeah, like, realizes, float a little bit off car seat. And so then he So he's got the piano wire, um, ankle. And he would just carry me like a balloon. Yeah, yeah, school. And just, like, lash me to the desk and you know, so I would be so I'd be in class right at the back of the class. It would be too distracted for the students,

and I would just

be, like, just below the ceiling.

And because you have you were full of helium. Uh, I'm sure speaking and sort of contributing and class was probably pretty difficult. So

very difficult. I had to use signs you use, like, little flash cards.

You couldn't hear

my voice like my voice was

so high pitch.

It's almost back to normal, right? Yes. It's gotten like it's probably gotten a little lower since you all know me. Yeah. The last time you see me and I feel like another 10 20 years, I'm probably gonna be back to what? My voice. Could you remember when I was like, When? What? I will. You wouldn't remember? You know me then when I was a kid, my voice was profoundly deep

way. Yeah, I thought it was. Doesn't do a tape of Barry White, but it was you in ninth grade.

That's right. You also were very sexual. It wasn't just It was very

wary, precocious child. And as nine year old remember Rose, I was extremely sexual. Yeah, it

was all put it that way. It worked. I mean, you had grown women after the

results speak for themselves. I had I had affairs as a nine year old boy who looked I looked like a nine year old boy. Sort of no mistaking it. What sort of Oh, this is pre balloon This people really all you're saying? Like obviously you don't like nine year old boy You're floating things before the this before the William pre pollute freely balloon is out referred in that time balloon. Impossible. So I had I had consensual affairs, of course, with women. Now, before you get disturbed, we did not have full penetrative sex. Now I didn't know what that was. A kid. I was very sexual for nothing. You would just lead them on way. I mean, look, I won't lie. I wanted to have sex with these. These were attractive women. I was very sexual to these ladies. Credit, of course, they always stop it before it got

that. That's responsible to just date

a nine year old right up until the we

held hands and watch TV.

Just be romantic. Nine year old. That's totally fine. As long as it doesn't cross the line. Find

the most lines that got crosses like these ladies would put on lingerie and they'd say like that is crossing a line. Yeah, that is already crossing in line because they wouldn't like there wouldn't undress in front of me. But they say, Look, I'm gonna go in the bedroom. Yeah, okay. You wait out here, gonna put on a special outfit, the doors will be open like a little crack you could like, walk past, see what you see.

And that was the first part. Then share not come in. Throw her close out the door to just show you they're not on,

right. You could look at that as sort of a rite of passage for a kid

trying, you see, first little bit so long, raised by your mom's door ajar Long rail while you're And that's not unusual. I know we all get your parents come home

from work and they want to get comfortable. So they

that's right. And talk about male lingerie. There's not because I say

Let's end the stigma today. Let's remember I've been wearing lingerie to work.

Yes, every day you wear a thong bodysuits that the song of it goes way up high to your armpits.

That's right. It goes all the way up to my armpits. That's not Leah.

That's a hot watch. This really of the singer? Yeah. Who died? Young players

rest in peace. Fashion icon.

Yeah, we don't know that she's dead,

man. I remember his little boy's a little sexual boy. You know my mom, of course, my parents would get so much laundry sent to the house would be like laferla boxes every track day like that. Recycling can will be full of La Perla boxes. And so we get the catalogs. And I remember, you know, like, you know what it's like when you're a little boy and you're looking through those. And, man, I get to those I get to those two pages that had the men's stuff on And I think all someday, man Sunday,

Loose silk trunks with a little soft nub sticking

out like a little nest for your your Penis. It's like it's hard to put him on honestly,

way know exactly what we're talking about. Because Mashaba beyond that that's right. The ash

briefs. I would see that and be like, Oh, man, someday, when I'm a grown up, I can't wait toe where this man's lingerie?

Yeah, I nice. Do they move past even mesh like you. It's God Call it lace. I've seen I've seen some very lacy man injury. That

is not what

they have done it. Victor Secret

Victor Victor Victor Seater is in all the ads, and he's using

the crazy car salesman in town.

Let's just they're not keeping the secret quite as well over at Victor's

I mean, it's a little bit more calls right for Victor's open seats are called What I Call My Office because I'm there. So by men's

low, surest way love back in our gym blitz into little machin. Having it, folks, or the hell that

I walk into Victor's whip out the car, put it on the counter, I'll say, Just keep it open. What's the latest in jib lit Packers is also to

go to Victor's and sort of hang out like a bar open. Try one thing.

I get a card there so many times a day to get back the next morning

straight. He's actually never let me buy anything.

What daily? He's never let me by. Howard, you still a virgin? I think I was

gonna change. Can't be the reason. I just I'm just counting its look

different by the way,

and you could tell he was

Howard. He's been re Howard

died. We ate his body and he has been reanimated in a stew. Taylor's body an old friend of Okay, move straight

on. No question about it was different further

away. So it's great to see you again. Your house. Your l a. Ben. We value cash a 101 yet. Best food. Best fit cafe.

Wanna one? Sorry to say, it's time is coming on. It's It's you know, Now I'm going to mess Hall. Yeah, I wanna say for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeah.

You got a little bump of money, then If you're

doing okay, you know, I don't want to brag, but, you know, since I come out here, you know, I after I did the theme song for you always like I know I got what it takes. I gotta get out to L. A. You gotta just I gotta prove myself on the big stage. You know what I mean? And that's exactly what I did is I saved. I took all my savings, moved out here and rent a little apartment and a and then a little. It waas Looks like. Let's see. Okay, because the department could be tough. Yeah, it was not a one bedroom. It was not an efficiency. Okay, I want to say I mean, it had four walls, right? Yeah, that's where I lived in one of them. Do

you know the bar? Worse. I was like

a full sized bar where I was living in the walls of someone else's apartment. Him ran. It was all above board. Realize? Yeah, all above board. But I was in the wall and that you were behind board. It was both above and behind

board. Okay, So the rat you came in with his roommate or you met you met him at your apartment. That's not like a loved one. I'm trying to

acknowledge him. OK. Oh, I feel like I feel like this guy's fault for so long now. And it's like for a while is going to shoot carrier. And then when I try to do now, it's like, act like

he's speaking around like trying to make eye contact with you right now.

You know me. I'm like, I'm just gonna wait. This guy, he's

gonna get bored. Well, I got bad news for He's got a big piece of cheese and

get waiting around way. Probably got into the cheese cabinet.

Is cutting a big block of cheese with a

tiny fork and knife over there, and he's just settled and

tell me he's got the big bone. Yes. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. This guy, he just kind of shook

his head at me like I got all day, but oh, yeah, he pulled out a laptop. Yeah, I think he's working on it. Uh,

my God, the headphone

hang Oh, and he plays. He's got he got I think he got the WiFi password o e. I don't know shit. Now

he's walked over to the little speak it in the

corner seat, taking a shower that Rancic use our what do you all have? A rash? Our in studio.

That viral video happened recently of the other and in a bad way, said lathering up in scrubbing his little. But we've seen that and it's evolved. Seen it? It's got to be fake, first of all, but we thought and

we think, Yeah, it's got to be

fine. No, that rat. I know that that's the red that played Master Splinter. In the secret of the

is it looks like a no,

no, There's a There's a scene where they show stall splendor Learning the crowd fight is a

tithe. The same dexterity.

Yeah, it looks incredibly realistic.

So he's had proportional showers as he's gotten older.

It appears so

Wouldn't that

be a dream? Like, if you could just have a shower? That's just for you every size.

That would be amazing. I mean, do you even shower in your place? What's the

Are you still there? Yeah. Yeah, I'm still there. I just grew the lack,

you know? Yeah. It's like how Conan still drives the same car, your bigs. Now you're making a lot of money.

I'm making a lot of my but I still have a substantial amount of debt because not long after I moved out here, I was lucky to find that inside the walls apartment. Um but I did put on a big showcase and I had to rent out the venue and it was very expensive. Did you say a van? You? Yeah. What did you think I said? I think venue. A van, You know, like that, like then you I didn't take a van. You their wages? A That was

a good man. Where you do a show in it. That's

utterly ride sharing system. Where is like you get a free ride. But you have to sit through somebody else's show. Yes, that's right. So I took a van You over to this venue

who was playing in the Vinje

in the van. You G level special sauce. I want to say what g love and special cells.

How did you guess that?

Well, he's been on that. He's been big on the circuit lately. On the

van you circuit? Yeah. Yeah, special sauce for a long time was 1000 island, but it's men who play instruments. That's right. Yeah,

eso you took. How much did you end up going in debt to rent out that venue to the venue?

Well, it was a Hollywood bowl, so it was right at the Hollywood. But I want to be taken seriously

going to do it.

What better way to introduce myself to the Los Angeles music community? Hollywood Bo my name up in lights. Just me on that stage with a with a piano keyboard synthesizer. You know, with with over 80 settings. I could do all source of genres of music. I can have sound effects if I want an acoustic guitar.

So you're playing a lot of the pre loaded things from? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And

you named all the things you had, but I noticed most of the time was spent on the sound effects.

Well, look, I'm trying to put on a show, cause just me on that great, big old stage. And, you know, I'm expecting a few 1000 people to show up at this showcase, and it should be pretty light for the Hollywood ball. Just I don't want to be right. I wasn't. I want to be realistic is a free show. It was a free show.

Had the Hollywood the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, well, I mean, what? That sounds good, right? You

say, But, you know, the night of Music of the Hollow, both price free. I mean, I thought Okay, I'm not probably going to sell the place out, but I'll probably have a few 1000 people.

Was that where all the venues open? Could they buy wine and snacks and things like that? Open

bar. All you can eat by the food

There is notoriously very expensive. That's right. You must have come out of

pocket for although you telling because yeah waas Wasow where I live in a

wall saving. So were you playing original like songs? Or where you pay playing theme songs you had made up?

It was, well, it's both. It was all original theme zones that I had made of our casts and things like that for exclusively for Podd K And you said, with a healthy dose of sound effect in between each as a pal, Eclipse

Man, you said, I remember reading the program, and it was I won't change these lyrics. That's right. So you have to hope your project is exactly what the songs are.

Yeah, what I was doing was, rather than, you know, get hired to write a theme song and then go through the whole rigmarole of, like, What's your show about who were the people feel? What do you do? You just hope

that the old ways the old way.

You just hope you hope people will be inspired by your tunes and write a show to go along

with them. It's not so much I hope is that I assumed people would be

inspired by my things

I gotta do. I got due date,

pound calf about. I mean, that's basically what happened with us. We were four teachers who weren't really even friend. That's right. And then we heard that song and said, We

gotta come together.

You played us A few of your songs will only talk about Triple A baseball. The podcast which were like, I

wanna hear about that one.

I think the idea would like to

It's time to shut your mouth. Gonna coat out south. We're talking by this Triple A baseball. You better shut your yap. If not, just take a nap for you're only talking about true. Sorry, I didn't mean that. I do apologize. The piano apartment keyboard is not right now.

You look like a very intricate chord patterns. You had a right hand melody going on. That was really impressive, but I couldn't hear it

Musically. It is beautiful,

right? We know what your music sounds like. Everybody's heard the theme song. They say that's the best part of the show. Yeah,

that's nice to hear

out of the best theme song, and it's the best part of the show's part. They look forward to every week.

Well, that can't be true. They like the themes on the best.

It's This one's nice is a little different than a lot of your other ones, which are pretty aggressive, I think, towards the listener. They all kind of start off with telling the listener to be quiet or

trying to grab people's attention. You need a hook. You know, I learned that you also want people to Mrs the truth. Yeah, there's a Triple A baseball podcast. Here's this steam song was written for, Ah, podcast, where they talk on Lee about Triple A baseball, and they're in the process of moving now to the south.

Something original arrest area. We had all of our belongings took a nap there and also the savanna sand that they're really doing. Stratasys

There, the Charleston River. Don't There's the lyrics in there about going to the local liquor store and asking for old boxes. There's one about renting a U haul, uh, pricing trailer hitches. I mean, it was it was that theme song. I think it's 13 minutes long.

By the end of it, you are there's a whole verse about, like, who's talking? Who is talking right now? Please, rush, you need to live.

This'll ain't no Must you have to hush. That's a great line

way. Know that you've been pretty successful. And a very six with some of your money. You've been eating sushi, which we have to I love

how good sushi stuff I love. Yeah, I love

I'm new to it, but I'm a

full convert. Your soon you're gonna be an addict like me. I love thing.

This is perfect news because we all started making sushi from home, and we've had a little competition about which one of us makes the

Really? Yeah.

And so we thought, maybe like one in a game with you. Try each of our sushi's and determine which one is the best since you know them.

So maybe yeah, I love to. You kidding me? And we do want you Teoh

go into a blind. Yeah, We don't want you bias by you want. We don't want you to look at the sushi and say, Oh, I know who made that. It looks like sushi. There is it to make.

So we have we haven't gotten your blindfold. Okay? But we have disguise the food.

It's a little discussed What you took

up. Okay. Just to

be clear, we only doing a taste test of some food. Mantei says food has been altered in appearance in some way in some way. This is something that I personally have never done before. So that's exciting.

UNHCR knife cuts. You'd be able to just tell

exactly. No, no, no. A time machine. Me guy? Yeah. I feel

like even that's too

much information. I

didn't know that. You're right. So to disguise. So disguise are each of our dishes we each or

you'll find out what we did. Yeah. So this is a segment where you judge our sushi. It's called Judge Jude. She play on just Judy

Trio back about it. We decided that's the best name of a second.

Have to pronounce. You can't just pronounce it, Judge Juicy. You have to really stop your mushy

shouldn't want you. It's too bad as I have a podcast theme that's so close to being perfect. Oh, for this. Do you want here?

Yeah, this'd be fine for a while.

You gotta put a sock in it right away. We're going to take you away to a place where we play a little game called Guess the food we're gonna eat Oh, so much food with Lance Ito with Jake Lance Ito. Where that was where Once again, I'm sorry that my piano is not Not really. I didn't mean hit that home improvements at effect. Sorry. Why is that still in

their milieu? Wilson?

Todd, why did you say

that? Uh, why'd you say that? You say that?

Did I say something?

You said it's me. Wilson.

Think my Alzheimer's is kicking in?

You took me. Oh, yeah.

I a little unhappy with my life, So I've been taking Alzheimer's. Forget

your doctor. Prescribed you that, right?

Like dying again.

Who's my doctor? Dr Nuts? Yeah,

he's good. You're taking a little time release capsule of pure all

time. Your Yeah, pure Alzheimer's. It's a slow release. By the end of this, I'll be trying Dio I'll be saying like, insulting recruit things to

release, but it's the sweet release way. Got to get to four dishes here. Your 1st 1 All right. So

what am I looking at here? So this is a piece of sushi. I thank maybe

it's been disguised, so it's a little bit green. It's a little

bit green. And there's a there's a smell you might notice that smell from right? A new house. It's a strong

odor. Just try to ignore that. Take the sushi into your mouth, fight off the initial

question. Has

your did you did this Sushi and green paint?

Um, wait, let's just say we wanted this to be a blind taste test, so we took liberties to make it. So

are you all concerned that the paint is gonna mask the taste of the sushi at all? Because I want to be able to give an accurate assessment.

Why don't you know why did you do this? Why don't you just lick the top of it to get a feel for what the paint tastes like? Yeah, that's are getting her mouth used to the pain and then put the food in there and be like and cancel out the taste of of whatever that is. But it's late to paint.

You know what? I'll say the paints

only on the outside. Yeah, that's you bite through to the middle. You should get a pretty good flavor of fish, if that's what it is.

I'll tell you what now I'm gonna lay down a rule right now. If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna need a can of the paint used in a spoon. I will take a dose of paint. Some amount Has a paint coating already pure pain coating. Then I feel like I will b'more easily able to discern the sushi taste. Does that make sense?

Luckily, I believe we have. Ah. Do we have any of the way we

should do? Mark? Uh, go. Oh, I get some paint and we don't have a spoon. Is this little, um

e? That's more pain than I plant on ingesting, but it's six to have a big I want to make sure Jason Sushi. So, I mean, if we're going on this principle that takes in the paint

cancels out in the taste.

Exactly. Makes more sense. That more pain.

Yeah. Okay, go ahead and take a big old school. You little one cup later.

So I get this flavor in there. So then just ignore Big,

Big Chalky. We didn't really take the train on my way

through. Yes. Well, holed, gagging, always gagging your

math. Let's get Doesn't agree with a lot of it on your face.

Your mouth looks really good.

I driving. Yeah, we like your mouth.

You got a little pain in your mouth. You're pretty much ready. Oh, despite the most of it. Mystery dish.

You You okay for four. Go the chopsticks. Sure

way. But you know what? I'm gonna revise it. These air Two big sticks Now he's just lying. Uses sticks from

the wood. Yeah, this is how Teddy Roosevelt, you state sushi.

Yeah, All right. Here. When you take in each hand, bring it up here. Don't crush the fish

Easy on or whatever it is, you fish. Okay, guys. Got it. And he's doing it. Really? Taste. I'm

not gonna lie there. Still like a strong paint taste.

Okay, so this might be mine. You had some pain in your initial? Mostly. Yeah. Oh, I did mix up the paint. Luiza, be at a certain point. E did taste a little Solvay in there. Todd

California roll

way Don't know

you. That is a California roll is what I would say if I knew, But I don't know. I'm not sure what it is, Right? Right.

So let's move on.

And this This is a triple decker role.

Yes, who? That's big, and we have disguised it, so you can't tell what it is.

And we had a little issues. Although we did just tell me the way. We thought the pain would be a bit of a issue to eat. So much of it. So we put something else on this one.

What is that? It's green screen. I think you're focusing too much on the packaging and not so much on the gift. Well, no, I appreciate that, but I am gonna put this in my mouth and ingested. So just like a friend. A friend? Can you tell me, what is it zombie thing? This is all a sushi on

the inside, right? But it's been disguised by packed on wasabi.

So it's like you put a piece sushi, you know, like essentially a brick of the south.

You know, when you roll a snowball down a hill, it gets bigger. That's what we've done here. And we rolled it down with savvy. You

all are from Moussavi Hill.

I mean, can scrape off some of the was obvious. I'm sorry, Mark. You can't. Did you? Did you also take outsiders pills? Yeah, and it's just starting. You go. Go. Me, Mark,

who's my family

now? Just to amass the flavor. Why don't you take a little later this bucket of a sob here way just to prepare your taste buds with flavor, you'll forget it.

I was the paint. It worked last time for the paint. You

knew it was

going well. I mean, can I be honest with you?

It barely worked for the pain because so did burly work, E. I mean, you're focusing on the positive. I can't argue with you. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. We got to get this

done. All right. So you want me to take a ladle of a sob, and

that's just know whatever. We've also got the trouble. Whatever. You

know, that I'm good with, I mean, if those much you can probably find a picture of, You know, that. Look, OK. Can I have, like, a Is there a glass of water? I could have stayed about. Wow,

that is a glass. How about that picture? Could we feel that picture with water was in the rat shower spigot. The rat is digging in that Teoh

tell you something? Yeah. I'm terrified of this Red. He's been following me around for a long time. I don't know what his end game is because like I'll be walking and I'll turn around. I stopped. He stops. Yeah, I always keeps like the same disease. Like you

have done anything bad to any rats or their families or rats that even are

involved in Maybe the Mafia. Well, what's what's bad, like killing? Could this be one of the Did you steal duo some debts to the Rat Month? Did you didn't want to get into this whole business? I'm embarrassed, you guys. You know, like you When you knew me, I was on top of the world writing up successful theme song. Yeah, people like more than the show.

Are you laundering rat money? Like the show Ozark?

If all my money comes from my life writes that I sold Ozark that they converted into a story about laundering drugs. You gotta clean the cheese, right? Rats give me counterfeit cheese and they give me cheese from their various criminal endeavours. I make it I channel it through other things and make it into a legitimate cheese. That's disappointing.

He says hello. I ready? John isn't pushpin or all right. Day of that stings a little right. Stop

it. You know what happens when you kill somebody who's in the rat mob? What? That's just opening up a new doorman.

What if one of the rats rats on

us? Yeah, he's got buddies. I bet there's a but this place is bugged. Probably she

probably rats came in here and bug this place.

Damn it. Or I'm gonna wrap myself up in wasabi and just hang out on Risa Beal. Saw video. Have you got a rapid way? Sushi now, the way that makes way and roll down one side of it. I love it

too. She 45 times a day. Sometimes

we sure do A mad dog. Sorry.

All right, Mark is market mad dog in the morning. Who? Okay,

so you're Alzheimer's pills have made you guys very alert and at the ready, just in the wrong way.

After the break, we're talking to piss on dog. She Okay,

fellas, fellas, remember you're here. You're here at the lounge, The Hollywood

or die. I feel like we don't Maybe don't have time to get through there. The other three dishes here. That's too bad. Uh, way

all made California rolls. Yeah, they're They're all the same. Yeah. It's all

California rolls covered in paint than wasabi than

playing John back and forth between pain.

Well, me holo signal, you would. We changed to bed. She tricked you. Wow. Oh, listen, your your

honestly, at this point, you're one of our more successful friends. You know, we're sort of getting on the come up right now. And we thought you could have

angriest exactly excitement

out here. We're getting bored ripping Hollywood mansion about this. We're just bored. We need to do something. We pranked us.

How about this orange? Just to make up for this, this prank that really got you what about really were about, as you probably know. Where about, uh, we're about to go into production on a 42 hour give movie called TV Show The Movie. How about this

TV show? The movie?

The musical? Yes, musical. How about this? I'll step. I'll take one step further. I also you can write all the music for TV show the movie Wow.

Wow. Waited to make this deal immediately.

Yeah. And now, before you say yes, you should know this movie is wall to wall music. It's like a Les Miserables situation. Floor to ceiling. Yes. Wall wall. Florida sailing music. 42 hours. It's two hours and 40 hours.

Okay, let me ask. Quit

on the rock. Johnson is on down the rock. Judge. Thier way. Okay. Tribal tattoos. He looked like a gray rock. Tribal tattoos. He's got a calcium deficiency down there is gonna be Oh, wow.

He's got a late career rebrand.

Yeah, And it is working before I before I agree to this. And let me tell you something, this is best offer I've had in a while, and this would probably dig me out of a very deep hole with the rat Mafia and those some bitches at the Hollywood Bowl. I gotta ask this question, though. Are you wanna ask me to write a bunch of specific songs?

No, No. That's the will. Use your songs that have already been written.

You can use my backlog. Well, themes for one

for you. One for us. One Scorsese consulted on. You can

throw in. We've been in Santa Fe for a week.

I feel like this is really compromising on my creative vision. Really? Which has heretofore been I just write whatever I think of and hope that it fits with something someone else is doing. Yeah,

but on the other hand, the rat mafia in the Holy Bowl Hollywood Bowl will kill you if you don't pay them.

I mean, how many more? This is the Joe Rogan podcast do you have in you? You know what I mean? Probably not more than that. It was a big hit, but

yeah. I mean, I do want to meet down the rock E. I just want to see what he looks like in

person because, like, the stores have heard.

Yeah. All right. I think that is I've ever heard in my whole life. He's

in draft up a contract. We're getting him in. He's doing all Or

Lloyd. I call. I call Lloyd, get a contract in the works. Holy crap, guys. We found ourselves a composer. Uh, man, I couldn't be more excited. This is like I think this is what I would classify as the teachers. Most of the teacher's first big break after

the break, Lisa Lampanelli is in town. Will be speaking to her on the phone. She's a the hottest weekend.

If she can wash you on the phone

thing, this town she's

not. She's in out.

Of course we'll hear again from piss and the shit Wake up. That's not okay. Well, I know I sound. I

don't mean lean on the keyboard.

I have the rat Mafia doesn't come after me too. I killed that

guy. Probably you. Well, hey, you know what? Or in it was so good to hear from you, man. It's always great to catch up with an old friend. Especially out here in Hollywood when you're surrounded by such shallow relationships way really appreciate getting a chance to catch up with you, buddy. And honestly, folks, thanks so much for two. Nan. We had a blast today, and we'll be back again next week. We're going into production this coming week on big news. Uh, TV show that many of the musical on Todd is gonna probably find a new stupid hobby. Uh, we will talk to you all soon, but until then Yes,