Rhelephant with Substitute Teacher Gym Smith (Scott Aukerman)

Who is comfy down

here? Yeah, it's a it's interesting how Ah, this room is like, perfect temperature. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. We got it in the basement. You know, this despairing. You have some good bones.

Yeah, it's really nice. Really good. Bones in here is pretty, but you can tell it is structurally

sound. Yes. Whoa. A lot of dust coming off the ceiling. That here? Yeah, but But the beans are strong. The beams are very strong. Let me get one of

those black broke. Now it's fine. It's just it's settling. You must

have been load bearing.

That was just a

load bearing. And this building was built in the bearing. This building was built in the 1960. So it's still just kind of like settling, you know what I mean? So you hit something.

That one was pretty sad right now, I think

one of the buildings that was built during the sixties by they're trying this experiment where construction workers were dosed with LSD, and so it was built by a lot of

on the crazy sixties. Most people were on LSD. Yes, crazy sixties,

which is 64 to 68.

Yeah. Yeah, A lot of people say it didn't end until 69 but I say the rial crazy sixties ended it. That's usually where it ends for May. When I

asked for that. Yeah. How about we 69? Two time leaving? We just got bread bill. It's a little soon in the den.

It's fast in the dinner. You should wait till the bed.

Yeah, but you could tell

the way to the bread, not the bed. Wait. Wait till the better bread.

What about the hungry sixties? The first part of the 60 Everyone was very hungry.

That's right. It was the Fairman, the early sixties family.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, that was crazy. That's what led to everybody being so crazy. Everybody talks

about the crazy sixties. They don't talk about the cause of it, which was the hungry. Sixth.

There's always something before. And of course, before the Hungry Cities sixties was the late was the sleepy late fifties, tired, just tired from

the Korean War

that was so tiring. Everyone, everyone did not.

We're not talking about that. That's why race relations got some tough in America. Everybody was tired for years.

Then they were hungry or hungry. JFK died of hunger.

Exactly. Yes. He got so angry that somebody at the top of the school book depository stole his sandwich and he died.

You got so hungry. He got so hungry that his head flujo

look at Bobby Kennedy. I mean, that's right. That's exactly right. You are

so hungry that his head flew out. Bobby K was killed by a hungry man in the

kitchen. Whether Zapruder film is the first, that's the first instance of seeing a man's head fly away. That's what's so crazy. But they like you. Go stay, of course, like to you, because it's not a hit flying away. This isn't gunshot way. You

watch that video you gets. Tell Jackie is stuffed. Yes, right? Yes. How did you get all the food in president? Well,

because you see, his head flies off and she jumps onto the back of the thing and just throws. Throws food away. She that's on the back of the car

away. I heard there was a second steak on the grassy. No, that's what I heard. Seconds a second. Yes. Seconds. You know, like when you're a kid, you say I want seconds. Yes. Uh, yeah. There's like that on the grass. You know, there were seconds. Wow. Gate and ask the

story. Hey, guys, you're gonna have to forgive me one more time, cause this you guys know this is a new console. This is a new recording studio. Um, we've been recording this whole time.

Oh, Howard. Reincarnate come hours old body regenerated and in stews. Exor, Skeleton fun. Yeah. Sorry, guys.

You're gonna be able to shake it without that nasty skeleton.

You know, I said to myself when I walked into the ask, I said, Do not start recording until you look all the guys in the eye and say, Are you guys ready to start recording? And I'll tell you this. I walked right in and I think just instinctually pushed this huge record button.

Well, hey, you know what? I'm turning over and you leave. I forgive you. Coming to shake my hand too slow.

So I oh, well, and how you move. I definitely know. Hey, Mr that moonwalk. That's perfect. Moonwalk

gridlock in a wheelchair. But I could

actually really Well, that's okay, Todd, To be an asshole right now, but I will tell you. I am not. And I am here to take up for you, Howard. And so much. So you got a little bit of mustard on your shirt. Right? And wow.

Okay, guys, come on, now, can we

Can we listen?

Ah, lots gone down over the last a couple weeks. So how

is that bad news for you? This is embarrassing. Shoe is untied.

No, it's not. I'm not gonna look my She was not untied. Okay, your I'm gonna look down there, just walk over

to the other side of the room And

just what? Try one, but walked away. She was tired. He wanted way, and he got kicked in the bus. Seriously, look where

we're trying to start a new. Okay? Can we please just leave these childish antics in the past? Okay?

It's just been so long, you know, we're just not used to having you back. You know, your your you were in a cocoon of Stu's body and you blossomed to in Not a beautiful butterfly, but same ugly Howard. Okay, well, listen, guys, uh, you hear break because his brand new

reporting. Okay, listen. All right, everybody, Thank you so much for tuning into the teachers lounge that used to be the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the handle. Rela for

Elephant Now that is a new you guys. The rhino just died, the last male rhino. But what you'd word town by Roland is there is a brand new species of relevance. That's

right, Rhino. Half elephant, all scary.

Yeah, well, anyway, it's called the rail relevant because it's it is relevant to right now. Yeah, it's.

And because it's been breed with Rhino. Yes, it's a relevant rhino elephant. It's a rela.

What makes it relevant? It is. It is a politically conscious

are. Oh, it's a very, very woke yeah,

Rocca. It's Ro ro ro ger Rohit's wrote talking about lately you know, more of the Waves has got his new, awesome special out woke issue. A lot of people are talking about woke, but what they're not talking about is what we are all in this room, which is wrote. It means we do the weather, we lose weight and we do the weather and we're America's sweethearts. That's right, we're running If

you're not Roque, I don't want Teoh,

OK? Well, as I was trying to say before accidentally talked about a very, uh, no problem, an issue

to new things. It seemed like accidental things in your eyes,

of course. Used to be a podcast that was pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. But, you know, due to a very various events outside of our control, it no

had nothing to do with us. I have nothing to do with us.

Once again, we are victims.

Yes. Wrong place. Wrong time. Right, guys? The right guys.

But anyway, way, actually, you know, you've all listen to the podcast. You know what's been going down, but a lot have a couple of weeks. But we all decided to make a make a choice to change this season on. And we've all actually applied and been accepted to university. Uh, way. Decided to turn over a new leaf. You know,

back to the base. Back

again. Thanks. We're back to the basics. God, it feels good to be back in college. Were regrouping. Yes, it's time to get our skills back up to what? They were really good for me.

Just having a backpack on again. Just feeling the weight on my way. I'm not supposed to be slouched forward.

Your sweet Leo says it is Really Is it helping your skull? It is

therapeutic. It is painfully, painfully straightening out my back and good for me.

Well, for anybody who's just picking up on this season, uh, which probably introduce ourselves. Yeah. Former host, the teachers land.

Yeah, of course. I'm Howard Levis. I was a biology teacher, and then my friends killed me. Ah, and ate my body. Ah, and I was reincarnated. Azat Stew Taylor, the, uh, the band director Rumor, old school. And of course, last season his body was shot off of mine. And I am now myself. You

are somehow yourself again. It

is so great that you're yourself again when you weren't yourself for so

when you get a blessing And I think this is a blessing that you're back our toe have miss you. You don't ask The Lord questions you say? Sure. Somehow his He's back from the dead within another husk of

a personal pull it all Don't pull it apart further than that. Because I don't want You don't want to know.

Obviously I finally believe back and I finally believe whatever I'm so we're firm believers in the Lord now. Hey, how's it go in? Uh, my name is Bill Crave E. Um I was ah was a coach. I've taught Spanish. I've been an actor. I've been an ostrich. I have been a woman named Bethany Hart. I have been What else is there? A bear? But now I am myself. Ah, and I am 100%. And I am here and I am studying communications. My

name is Sam Weatherman. Previously sexy Sammy Previously sexy Sammy Silver Superpower Agent in Hollywood. Before that, I was an opium addict school. Before that, I was a self help teacher and published author Disgrace. Who bloodless? Go. That's right. Blew up a school. Before that, I was a counselor. Trained two will untrained but responsible for the mental health of every student. Blew up the luv that year. And then before that, I owned crazy limos. A service in which I could not operate.

Yes, you drove limos really badly.

That's right. But now I am nothing if not hospitable. I am majoring in hotel management. Wow. I just know how to take care of people and I can't wait to do it before

you are. I mean, you are hospitable. Thank you. I

know exactly what people want to try my best to give it to them.

In fact, never know. Concierge set up over there right now. And that's right. I

got a little bell desk. I have a little concierge. I have one of those brass barred wheelie deles. That's right. That's

that. Have been moving. Start looking around on your bus breast are really doing.

I'll follow people to class, and I'll say that backpack looks heavy when I throw it on

here. And now, as for tips of I I did take a bottle of Perrier off of this little tray on the table here, and I immediately received a charge to my debit card

for $14. Let's be fair. You have 30 seconds. You have 32nd before the weighted system charge you exorbitant minimum. But after that, we both agrees.

Okay. Is that what

the hospitality program at this school teaches? Just the, like the khan of the hospitality

industry. That calm? I don't Nobody you wanted to Perry and you got one day

earlier. You're welcome. You wanted me to pay you $7.99. So you could sulk around me in a nightie, but not show me any nudity. Yeah, that's right. Soft core experience.

Our turn down service, it's are turned out time instead of turning up. Yeah, it's our 10 minutes or turn down. Service, which is at colleges is really popular. People are turning up constantly. Nerds, you don't want to turn up, so we'll turn down. The situation will come into allowed Littlejohn Titan party or ah, frack type party and just, you know, dance around in the night, right? Sometimes it's anti hospitality. Sometimes hospitality depends on who your customer is. But if you'd like to know anymore, just go ahead and grease my palm there. And, um, I could let you guys

know. And you mean spray olive oil on it.

No, I'm talking real money. I not one of those Santa Monica City Hall go.

OK, so you're not a fat man. Uh, Whose faith by grease?

No, I'm not. I'm not him.

A devil. Thanh Fondre. Fat man. Todd. Padre Todd Exonerated. Padre? Yeah. Killed O J. Simpson. Got off for it. Um, divorced theater guru on DNA now I'm in college. Undeclared hopeful Walk on freshman for the D one football team here.

Helpful Walk on freshman. Now, what does that mean? Are you involved with the team yet?

No, but they're

hoping they will allow you to walk on. That's correct.

Telling them. But you'd like to be on the team or you just sort of going to practice is walking up to the

field of sheep, Curly, you cannot want. Well, you guys really focused

on the walk on part. Not the hopeful part.

Yeah,

so but yes, I, um I adopted a bit of a Larry Flynt persona during the trial.

Adapted our reporters, our were forced by your actual physical circumstances. But also, I saw you

rolling around with Larry Flynt. Did you adopt him as well?

So I adopted Larry Flint's persona, and I adopted Larry Flynt. And my son taught me a lot about, uh, going through a very public trial. So, um, I I am in this wheelchair. Um,

we were We were wondering if that was true

or not. Yes, I am actually, in this wheelchair swell down in the toilet.

Yeah, Well, well, we all you keep trying to pretend like your legs don't work, but we see it's a lot like that documentary on HBO dearest. It seems like you're faking it cause we see the movements of your leg because, hey,

I came on earlier and both of your toe started tapping like Crazy started Gold left

right. You shaking your feet like a ball, right? Well,

that's a miracle. And I have to tell my doctor about it. That's impressive. That's a miracle. I didn't start rolling around in its wheelchair to elicit sympathy from a jury of my peers.

You didn't We should talk about that because it does

seem like we are bearing the lead. The most important part of this story is you were acquitted of the murder of of O. J. Simpson, which you confess to.

That's right. I confess to it. I killed O. J. Um,

what you see, if you ever see O. J. Simpson walking around in front of you, that is not O. J. That's a crude, a crude crude. It's a cruel person crew man, you kill O. J. We escaped last season very and season, uh, with the rat mafia. Hot or not, I escaped

Hollywood narrowly, with our lives going down the path We were going down, we were four door

l chapter showed up. He apologized in tiny print that we had to squint to read. Um, he apologized. We got on there and he saved us in terms of chopping. Yes, but but but that you were found out.

What? The cops? Well, yes. Um, similar to Robert Durst. I got caught buying a sandwich. Uh,

stealing a sandwich. I got You're trying to steal a sandwich.

I didn't say I got cut selling a sandwich I had stolen.

Yeah. And you were You were trying to resell a sandwich outside of ah Delhi. You had just stolen from your burping and saying I did it

with the

trying to sell it back through the window of the deli to the deli.

Guy said you could really use something like that. Serves like this and the company rise there cause there's some video be puttering around my brother's apartment building

your family is a lot of cameras. And your ask. It's called the cops on every time. The outside of a house.

That's right. Similarly, my brother looks like Jon Lovitz and he's rich, and I hate his guts that way. Haven't talked about yet.

Arrested by your family for puttering around your own property

more times than I can count on two hands. So at least seven.

Yeah, right, Because you've got some accident. That's right.

You only have six fingers lead buried.

So anyway, I went to trial. You guys, uh, you were by my side.

We were part of the team

you're part of. If you were part of the I would say whatever the opposite of the Dream Team is is what the wavy in basketball

way immediately calling us.

And then we were there in jerseys and we thought you wanted a dream team like thing. But all we could find was Yugoslavian rip after. So that's why they were calling. Is that were you just love in dream Team jerseys to your arraignment? So

you couldn't even find the original Yugoslavian jersey our rib enough.

Yeah, but But we gave you. You were You were caught. You were. You confessed, You confab.

There is recorded evidence of you confessing to this murder detailing detail ing the details. Right,

But way we're able to pain to you as a hero. You were of course. Ah, Lucky for you, the trial. Your trial happened in your Belinda, California.

We got Trump moved to a place where the jury would be a lot of men like May.

Yes, gold mean awful white men on the jury of your peers. Appear late, man. Uh, well, that's the

justice system at work, baby. Your peers decide if you're guilty or not

guilty. A somehow sided with you after you lost the use of your legs Mid trial

In a weird turn of events, Judge Ito was a juror.

They found O j guilty. But your craziest Yes. No, j guilty

of murder by time.

And they said that you were. And they said that you were in this case judge, jury and executioner. And you carried out the full extent of the justice. The justice system. You're on your own.

Yeah, that that the, um the final word was O j guilty of suicide.

That's right. So shame really work on his legacy. O j is guilty of suicide, and I'm free as a bird baby. And

let's just real quick before we move on. Yes, we We care about O J. He's been a friend for a long time. That's out of the shot of jams. Friend of the pod, Friend of the show. Big tasks, friend of show. And we would be remiss to not say a very quick thank you.

Let's say thank you, DOJ right now, O J, you ain't thank you. You have gotten us out of so many sticky situations. There we are, blowing up one of those schools we worked at. Maybe it was Hamilton I The second time we were there, we blew it up. You? Who shot up in the Bronco? O J?

You know what? Maybe we can get O. J out of this jam. Maybe if we play our cards right, there's something we can do. I mean, Howard's back to do the Howard.

I mean, if we're

gonna be like

I I've done with O. J, I'm done I think is a bad man.

Way said you had the lowest status in the house,

a set of low status.

Now, if someone insults, you'll turn on in pretty quick, Todd, because he was he let us live in his home. He saved our lives multiple times, and then he just sort of said, you are low status, and that's all it took for.

Well, you got what he deserved. And I'm I mean, the I've been seen recently screaming at his grave, you could see me. What's a week ago? Did

you live? Stream it.

I love screaming lives. Yeah, I just got on Facebook. I love what they're doing right now. I have been on Facebook for a while,

but I heard about you Heard about

Cambridge Analytica. I was like, these guys are the future.

Well, yeah, I have been trying to do is many, uh, Facebook quizzes as I can. I don't load every app I do every quiz so I can give all of my friends information away because I am down to clown wear

very down to clown take all our information, use it to trick us. We don't care.

Yeah, and and I mean, speaking of down to clown, I mean, that's what we're kind of hoping this call this new college experiences about. Not only are we trying to restart our lives and sort of, sort of,

you know, reset

ourselves personally and sort of way. We all realize that we were headed down a bad path. So we were like, you know, what's the best way to change things? It's to completely start fresh. We pick a new picking a path like a new road and see what happened.

It's socially exciting right now is rush week. So we're looking at frats. I know you got a few letters, Howard, that said, Do not rush.

Yeah, I said, don't worry about it. I will. Hey, I'm gonna anything I do, I will pace it out.

You got it. Have, like, conviction notice this week to you've been evicted from your dorm already.

Yeah. Um, I had a little disagreement with my roommate. A Z is gonna happen. And

you disagree with a college room, and they evicted you?

Yeah, they talk.

So you're in the wrong.

Well, it's one of those things where you know how college dorm rooms have bunk beds. I said I walked in and I said to my roommate, I don't know if I can handle this. Uh,

we're about to share

bad. Let's sleep that far apart for me.

Let's put them together. It's just increase will take him down and we'll put him will put the beds together and we'll just share So we have a little bit more space on. He had a problem with that. Uh, for some reason, on he complained that they are a in the r a went and took it up the ladder. What

they said were were a victim, this queen pretty home. A bubble we'll try. Exactly.

And that to me, is where that you guys obviously know. I'm sort of in the process of disputing this eviction. I think

this queen's gay. That's why the quote I don't know

if you guys have noticed the kind of a vibe at the school we have landed. That is a little

bit right, Right, everyone super open. And like there. I mean, despite other than this one roommate, everybody's, you know, fluid in their sexuality. And I'm like, What the fact this is a little weird. I'm not. I gain Amar because you've taken okay now, right? Rats weird.

You've been a woman you've been gay on. You don't like how fluid people are here. You at least want it defined.

step for you is to is to go a sexual fish like that New movie

The only next

wagon. Oh, where I fucking fish. I'm an idea that would led Zeppelin in the seventies.

Oh, wow. We parted with that.

Yeah. Yeah. Not Led Zeppelin, but led Zep again. Just a cover band.

Yeah, those guys are crazier than leads.

I would say they party way harder than Zeppelin, which is why they are who they are.

Yeah, that's why they weren't where they were. Both coming up both playing the same song and Led Zeppelin one out. I had my money on led Zep again. Exact set. It's undone, President. They didn't know each other. Just accidental.

Yeah, all the same socks. But their lead singer really can't nail most of the notes. Uh, attitude area, But these guys could party,

but yeah. I mean, like, I'm sorry about your eviction.

No, it's OK. It's OK. Obviously, I'm moving to a nude in here dorm. You guys can stop touching me. Uh, I'm obviously moving to a new dorm room. I'm trying to get a solo room. Uh, I get

a solo dorm room.

Yeah, right. Well, I know it's not in the dorm. I'm hoping to try one

of those, like, sort of like military hospitals where everybody's in the same room and is discussed in

America. You are you on? I was looking for back. Well, that was the original idea. And then then it's just like there's 20 people who can't all have a problem with me.

So as part of your kick off, are you kicked off campus? Do you have to live off campus or you just not permitted in that dorm?

I'm not permitted in that dorm room and have not been assigned a new one. So I'm currently homeless. Kind

of just kicking you kick in your file down the road? Yes. You haven't really heard back.

I haven't heard back. And I've been I've been really banging down the door to try to figure out my sleeping situation.

But if you wanted to come, I mean, I don't like a friend being homeless. If you wanted to come sleep in my dorm room, that would be fine. I think our floors no virgins. So that way I know.

You know what you

know. What way could let's

take a quick picture with me? I feel bad. I know what it could. Take it. Take a and you just got bunny here.

Yeah, I think this like a Polaroid picture. Stop. Stop tapping your foot. You know, this'd

isn't nice. You are homeless. We live on the sex for

you. You're not allowed. So obviously, obviously well detectable. Here's what we could let

you curl up on the Welcome out right outside the glass

store. You know,

I want to be looking dirty dog. Are

you saying that like, it's a gross bad thing, but I'm going to accept it, and I'm gonna make the best of it. So you guys could eat my ass.

We'll have a leash in my backpack. Do you want todo get bread first? A little early for you guys. Yeah, We've all lost

its well trod territory that I am a fucking driving tried. Okay, so if

we could

just leave that shit in the past

Oh, in college

colleges where people lose their

this'd you don't fucking have a heart attack this time. When we finally get laid at the end of the season, I'm not going to I've been doing, I guarantee you were you getting later?

Here's the thing I guys, I've been doing slow. I've been doing slow immersion therapy to avoid ever having a heart attack, taking steps closer and closer to sex for the past few weeks

where you had a panic attack. Just looking at a picture of shorts the other day. A little girl short little Whoa, whoa, whoa.

On the panic attack was do to be being uncomfortable with the fact that someone handed me a photo of a little girl

short. Jesus. No, it was not. I was not her side of the story, but my side is I gave you a little picture, little girl shorts. Why did you have a picture of little girl shorts? Milk? I'm rushing a brat. And I was showing the boys that I know what cheerleader shorts are. Yes, I'm rushing for Sigma Chi on their there. Hes in the hell out of me right now. You yesterday God getting hazed. I'm getting hazed bad.

Is it tough for you? Is a 50 something year old man rushing, afraid with a bunch of 18 year olds?

A lot of people say, you know, you grow out of being humiliated, you know, like you don't have a tolerance for it. You love it. Well, you don't know any better your fucking stupid and you're desperate. You're desperate, little bitch, and you get into college and you're like, Yeah, I'll let me put it just so you guys will let me drive you around on homecoming football day so that our but I have never own out of that a love And I love it. Yeah, I'm a sub, I'm for sure, us up. When they start beating me, I go more put me in leather I yell at him and they're like, What the heck?

Yeah, it's not that they said it's not that fun for them.

T e like it. They tied a £15 dumbbells. My sack back the other day and I was like, Oh, fuck this shit feels get on

And they said, Never mind. Just let him through this

They just left early, went to the pita pit.

Oh, yeah, And then that is a That's a tough pictures there for all the dead animals. There be a bit

people up. It is rough. I went in there. I went in there looking for ah BLT in a pita and walked into the wrong place. Right? And it is a mass grave for animals. People against the ethical treatment of animals

can get a little bit of Mediterranean food in the back corner.

Yes, that's true and affordable

falafel. Only that you meet actually worth walking through. Starving

after I fell awful awful. Which is the third place in there for a lot of love. Yeah,

I feel awful for a feel awful, awful, awful.

I haven't. That's the desert place, right? Yes. I feel awful

for waffle. It's I feel

awful. Full waffle. It's awful. Yeah, that place is next. I steer clear of that whole area. I just do. It's too much for me,

but I mean, this is This place is crawling with excitement. There's clubs you can get into college. Wasn't like this when we were back. You No, no,

no, no, this is great. I was on the quad earlier, and you know, people we're kind of walking around May and avoiding me, but it was nice to just be around. Everything I tried to get into a

game does feel like there's, like, 20 feet of negative space around me everywhere I go. But people are marching and they're being inclusive, and I'm like, What the Heck,

Sam, How did your audition for the are cappella group go?

Yeah, well, let's just say I didn't make Let's just say right now I didn't make it. I didn't make it firstly, but

they don't even they don't tell. People know this early. I have already told you know,

as soon as I press play on the boom box, they were like, You know

what? You end up choosing cause you you showed us a bunch of different renditions

of different songs. Yeah, well, I was trying to do a knock capella version of my heart will go on Gandhi on something.

And the first thing you did was play music. Yeah, I'm not Ah, Capella.

I played music and I played music s So we got into this big argument in the audition and they said that we would have given you another chance. I've wasted the literal time of your audition arguing with us, and I said, Well, this is not hospitable. I'm going to find a new major. So that's I found hotel management. You were

gonna major in occupy

waas. I was going to I was going to see our capella.

Uh, we're getting into a lot of fights. The first. Wait.

Well, hey, hey. You can take the man out of Hollywood, but you can't take Hollywood out of the man. You know what I'm saying,

man, So far were all out of bad. But I just

want to put this on this. This orders or worming your guys here,

but it's the only place you'll

put a worm. Okay? All right, then. Your war. Yeah. Okay. You're warm. Gets No. That's what I was saying. When I'm trying

to say is buried in the ground way. Haven't put it in the hole in the ground. I tried to pretend like it's a busy Listen,

it was early. I saw the early bird catch that word

your ass. Like JFK's as well. Firstly, first all

four limbs or shooting up in the air go your pelvis getting pulled into the ground. The

early bird I was up early enough that nobody would have seen that happen. Well, listen, I'm trying to stay, Guys. Is that I really think we need to take this opportunity at a fresh start. Seriously and focus on Are you guys know? I decided to focus on good to go to medical school on, and it's gonna be a lot of work for me. So I

need you guys to know that I just need you guys

to know that I'm not going to be down to party all the time. It's new. I'm I'm gonna be studying. I think that's great. That is, they know.

And I think that's a really you know, you were such a bad teacher that I think that going into something where you're helping people because you're a kind man, Yes.

There any more respectable profession than helping people for an exorbitant about a money and making tons of money and having a nice car? I think being a doctor is one of the most. It's one of the best ways to get a big house.

Well, really, it's a service, which and you're gonna be the type of doctor that kind of suits your personality, right? You're gonna be an anesthesiologist. Well, I

don't appreciate the explanation of why, but yes, my choice is to get into anesthesiology.

And why is that?

Because I want I don't want people toe have to tax

people falling asleep. Just talking to you. Wanted to be your fault? No. You

again. I know that pain is a difficult thing to Okay. Well, wow, you got your first patient over there. Get Sam. Okay, You know what? I could see that this year's gonna be noted on every other year.

Howard, we love you. It's the You were roasted you for earlier. Okay, We're in a new setting. Where? In a dank stank basement. And we're having fun getting

loose. Oh, uh, go. A specialist feels

like as best as we can. Todd, how's that going? What was that?

That zero to a preacher.

Asbestos? We can. I mean, we all know that

way We've all adopted the movement.

Yes, I started a go fund me to help pay for the Kickstarter of that movement. Oneto. I don't want to donate myself, but if people want a go fund me my donations also, it's

simply the fund starting a Kickstarter dot com. That's right. How much money does you need?

As much as you got. Uh,

go find me is

great because you get whatever people donate, so you don't have to meet your goal. You can just keep making money.

Um, so yeah, I think I got. Ah, I'm gonna be in a practice today hoping it will be a big news from our walk on. Uh, you

have to like, you have to, like, do the 40 yard dash.

That's right. That's right. Well, it's a lot of people. It'll be a dash. Yes. And I'm just hoping I get onto the track. Um, you know this because that's where in college, that's where the ladies are. His athletics. Um and I love the way the treats players I'd love to be involved in that in any way possible.

Seem like your head needs any more hurt. You know, you don't even

have these any more hurt time.

You don't even have c t e. And you're pretty fact app, Tad.

Well, I do. I was diagnosed with CTE upon birth.

Your mom fuck and ran around with your ass

where your mom was a famous football

player. Yes, that's right. My mom

Joan and name. It

was Jonah Nemeth. Joan. Name it. And you might know where is

kind of

like Joan and, uh, Q sacks? Yes, Like the

Keystone and John Cusack. That's right. She is the

I thought it was, um I thought it was Bun Roth

Allsburg. Well, Bun Rothenberger is my adopted mother. Okay? Yes. Yeah, there's right after before. That is between Joe Nemeth and Bratina. Far

you got. You're going to get to choose who your mother

was. That's right. Talk about Joyce. You're does Michelle straight hand, right? What? I believe in a son's right to choose their mother. That is.

That's right. Well, we did. We had Padre versus the United States that went to the supreme court.

Of which football Mom was yours. Yes,

I was one of the specifics of How does a Martina

I wanted to choose my mom after birth on my mom's wanted to abort me after birth

weight. You were the first fetus to take the stand, right, Vida?

Um, yeah, I took the stand first fetus ever, and I won the trial. I went to the Supreme Court and ah, it is a 5 to 4 decision of the minority decision. Said that this is the craziest thing we've ever seen. And even way were voted No, just cause this is what is going on,

right? That that fetuses still attached to its mother with his

umbilical cord I object,

which should give us a clue to the verdict. But, you know, he's going to fight. What? He's gonna fight

for what's right. So anyway, uh, hoping toe do the 40 today. I want to get a 15 2nd 40 and the text get eyes on half that's long with his 50 seconds are for 40.

Usually they're about 3.5 to 5 seconds.

I'm 75 I'm in a wheelchair. So give me your

75. Yeah, but you look much older. You have a chemical peel, which I think hurt.

Yes. Well, it was pretty painful, and I'd you self peel that was Wait your ass out on the beach. Yeah, well, I went to the place of the beach. The Joker goes to, uh, that's for a chemical peel.

Yeah, if you go to the water treatment plant, that's right on the coast, where they process all the poof and add a lot of chemicals. And then you say Just spinach, Give me one spin through

what's been through. Give me the usual. Give him 350. That's unusual. 1000 dollars. Okay. Through $50,000

right? Uh, shit. Well, how guys look, I think we have we ever work Cut out for us is all I'm trying to say. And I think we all need to focus. We can We can focus on the social stuff, but we also need to focus on getting our lives in order so that we have a future. Yes. You know,

because you want a Perrier or a soft

drink or not if I have to pay for it. Okay.

Well, we take a quick break. I need to stretch my like, uh,

welcome to your digital course catalog. The following courses have just been added for next trimester Anthropologie 2 to 1. Not your mother's anthropology class. It's your father's. Everyone's father will teach this class one on one with their kid. Don't ask about the logistics of how this will happen, but let's just say your father has to quit his job, moved to the college and teach this class to you for no money. Intro to Buffalo Wild Wings lab. Please come prepared on your first day with your own sauce, spin bucket and your $30,000 lab fee. Okay.

Well, guys, uh, hope that break treated Joe. Great cause it treated me great. Um, but things were no different this season as they've always been. We got a guest in in the in the lounge today. Ah, good friend. Ours. You know, we saw him every now and then. And Hamilton hey, is one of our favorite substitute teachers because he's ah, really good guy. And his name is Jim Smith.

Jag eyes Smith in the Yeah. Yeah, that's what I would say all the time. How

are you guys doing Brake A C? Yeah.

Yeah, it's great to be seen. I'll tell you that much. I think I was invisible for about five years. I'm

just kidding that. Is that a dig? How we didn't come to

you as well? No. I invited you to things for several years that using to lose e mails all the time. I don't know how that happens.

Well, listen, debut, but we just don't love playing games. You like to play a lot of games at your parties. We just thought

you met with the emails like it's just invites is not playing game.

No, no. When we get to your party's, it's alright. Like oh, I got this new game. You guys gotta play it.

Yeah. I'm sorry that you were the donkey that one time that we played Pin the tail.

Yeah, but with the Yeah, but is that what you're upset about? You

have a twist where there's always some human getting punished.

Yes, I'm sorry, but you know, humans are essentially disgusting. I'm really almost drowned in that game of go fish, right? Look, I'm sorry. I thought it was very clear that the title of the game was go com A fish and you are all fits well,

you would whip us from the top of a lot of the pool for not swimming.

I was excited. The one game night I did attend one of your parties. We played a game of settlers to Qattan. I was so excited. One of my favorite classic simple game. Yes, I get there and you say all right, you're the sheep. Yes. And I say, What do you mean? On the sheep? And you say Go out back yet you go

out back saying you said I don't understand English out of your mouth, Bob! Bob, Bob,

Bob! And all of a sudden please welcome Chris Catan Yeah, he was a special guest. It's difficult to get Chris content. He's Corky Romano. So it's

not so difficult. But it I mean, I had

we've all seen contain it. Many parties around town.

I mean, I had to give him return gas money one way.

Well, I just didn't love that. When we play Monopoly, I went straight to jail. Real jail,

Real jail. Yeah, I have a friend down at the sheriff's Department, and he was kind enough to when you landed on go directly to jail. He popped in and he pistol whipped you. And I'm sorry about that, but I think it's you see, You

see that movie game night? That's just to say it like you wrote that movie. It feels very similar to that movie. It doesn't seem like something I would write.

Very kind because I'm an amateur writer. We

do. You like it? We like the plays

our definitely an amateur writer. I've read some of your poetry. It is crap. Well,

you used to put

that's I mean, I'm not mainly way is that I love crab. Yeah, out, sir. Like a Michael Jackson. Bad kind of you just We are big jags and heads. Yeah, that's great to see you guys again. I e missed. You have been over there at Hamilton High the for the past three days, so I thought I'd come by you. 74 I was subbing for Mr Khanna. Wall. Oh, yeah, And it's been It's been great. It's been really good. Let you guys know that, um, I can do any subject any subject I'm an expert at, and

we're willing to do any subject. Well,

that's the thing is because all I do my whole philosophy of substitute teaching, is I. When I get the job, I get the call. I call up the A V closet in the morning. I say, Can I can I get the VCR and cannot get the TV? And then I am expert at picking any movie that has to do with whatever subject can justify.

Candle, of course, is our health. Health and sex education Teacher.

That's right. Yes. Oh, Caligula, I would pick for

you. Yeah. So what about if you did a math class that feels like it might be hard

math? I would normally do something like 88 minutes that that that movie. And I would have the kids count every minute. And 123 all the way up to 88. Smart. And

these are high school students.

These are high school students. So they can get up there. They can get all the way up Teoh, usually about 99 where they start, do their eyes cross. And they're like, Where am I?

I didn't know if I agreed when you played naturally. Bray in Spanish. Glad you don't know if you agree, you know. But now that I think about it, I search within yourself. I agree with that You very much. What do you think

of our new digs? Obviously you can see we're in a dank, smelly basement with good base.

Well, you say that, but you don't know. I went blind the other day, so

I decided to come in with a walking stick.

Yes, I did much like Steve Wonder, the famous blind musician.

understand we were confused because you always you always walk around with that walking stick. Before you

Well, you have to

I did. I I needed a little help, as they say. But now I need a lot of help, as they say. And

you're taking this really Well, thank you very