The Bleachers Lounge

Oh, bullies. Welcome. Due to the

upset of which is un has there been doing out there in the dugout

that you were in the dugout? You? What's up, everybody? How Phillips? Uh, my son Travis plays for the Dodgers first base.

What's up, everybody? My name is Cliff Mountains. My son Travis also plays second base for the Little League version of the Florida Marlins. Hello. My name is Doug Podd Ascoli. My four sons are split up amongst the league. Ah, one of them blades for the Orioles, one of ablaze with the money for the Marlins. One of them blaze with the Braves, and then another one plays for the Astros. Where the name show your son's name. Say it loud. Say it Proud. Greg, John, Ted and Tony, Greg, John, Ted and Tony are my four twin sons. Two sets of twins born on the same day. Some people are calling them quadruple. A

say they are quadruple knows no one who sets a twin is because they do look different

lot of people

through of them. Look like you doing like your wife

exactly. And I'm calling them two sets of fraternal twins. Good. So boy girl fat, eternal twins. They were born prematurely and big, good weight, but way too early. But that's why they backed cleanup. That's exactly why they back clean up. And that's why I make him clean up after the dinner table.

Well, there's not much left to clean up because they eat everything that's true, including my food. I'm skinny done. Ah, home run, Henderson. My wife, son James, plays for the Astros as well. Uh,

now Omar and it is an honor. You know, we've been doing this the bleachers loud for a while. It's always an

honor to have you here. It's true. A real living legend. Way all. Really? We admire you.

Alleged, Left out of the

history. Yes. Yeah. And your son's home Run our full

grown adult men. Yes. Um What? My sons are all adult, man. They've all ah, so might say surpassed me different

ways. Ill will say all. Do say that my son surpassed May more successful. One of them ended up marrying his own mother. Ah, so he surprised me in that way. Well,

it's a good thing that we have the new rules in the Little League. This is now a little big league so they can play amongst

because it's more about your physical skills. Everybody auditions for the teams. Uh, so you're paired. Every team is sort of put on a weighted system Where 18

100 you could do for his audition.

My kid did Hamlet. Travis did Hamlet. He said, to be or not to be on second my mind did ham sandwich. That was good. That was beautiful.

And Mike, it did my angry vagina from the Vagina

Monologues. Uh,

confusing. Yeah. I mean,

we're Podd

altogether for me. Yeah, he made it clear at the beginning. He said, He said, Now, this isn't about my angry vagina. It's about a angry vagina.

Well, I've had one kid. I did it successfully once, and then otherwise, vagina scam me pretty good, they dio. That's why I'm married. I got I got one woman I wanted

to run out of that the high school production of The Vagina Monologues treated.

Yeah, I had to go into my car and lay the seat back and pretend there was no one in there and just decompress. Yeah, when you were young, you Ah, your mother snuck up on you naked, scared you and turned around and she tripped. And And you, the 1st 1 of the first moments of your chowder beings, I was back in the womb. Yes, she tripped and accidentally ended up back in the room. And it was quite the experience for me. Cliff Mountains. Yes. And now you baked in there for another two months. I got taller, I got taller. I was getting double nutrients because I could still get stuff from the outside. I was still eat right, which

you pop your head out of. E. And

then you'd also be sucking off that umbilical because

everybody doesn't know that the umbilical cord is actually just a straw that sticks through letters. Tell me there's a little opening inside and there's a little baby in there that just suckles on the

shots. That's what it is. I don't know science, but from first hand experience, your belly button is also a mouth. So in the beginning, really, Button is the mouth in the beginning, because your mouth is closed when you in there. But when

I was

in there, I had both jumpers working again, and I was getting tall.

Yeah, and you still are. You tell you what are you six

years tall, Tall, tall. Ihsaa

Dad on the bleachers? That's right. Hey, Hey! Don't

sit in front of me. That down front, I

never skinniest man on the bleachers.

You bring it up a lot.

Everybody has

that blank man on the bleachers. Yeah? Uh huh.

Homer Anderson. Now tell us how

you got your nickname Home run. Because

I was the picture that the people who have the most home runs over

Yeah, Guinness get. And that's actually a Guinness record.

His back. Now that you would think that then the nickname would be something that is positive about

Well, I used to come out to, ah, song that I wrote myself called Here comes Strikeout Henderson,

which is also probably

a bad song to come out Do That's when you're batting You're

going up the back to back struggle without fail. It could be a 30 count. I would strike out. It's worth every penny. And

when you come out on the mound, they play a song. God, here comes home Run, Henderson. And it was just backward.

then

I wrote both of my said, I I explicitly told him one to play the saw eggs,

but they got him flipped. The self fulfilling prophecy.

They kept saying, This is not a mistake. We are trying to humiliate you.

You classically rewrote Take me out to the ballgame to when you would pitch. Please leave this ballgame. It's gonna be bad. Just I also heard

another version with this boat game. Teoh Mayo to the craft.

You were trying to get yourself fired and making you part of the crab peanuts cracker. Your other version of the song with the same Melanie of Put me back in the bullpen. Say Melanie

Barely ability. Jeremiah, Jeremiah frame Melanie as we're sunk.

What you were just saying Let's say Melanie. Same melody,

But the video of the same Melanie.

Yes, yes. Melody Jeremiah and Melanie. Jeremiah Wright. Yes.

Uh, So, uh, yeah, I'm kind of a hero around here because I pitched to some of the greats there in the majors now. Ah, lot of people say that Sammy Sosa wouldn't have been home run king if he didn't learn how to hit him off of me.

Yeah, the muscle memory was developed hitting off for you. Yes,

that everybody's greatest distance home run happens to be off for you.

Oh, yeah, it doesn't, uh, people. Some people say that because it is a fact you looked at up on MLB dot com Longest home run. Uh,

that's why we're burying the lead. You did play in the major leagues, you play, you played major league baseball for for

cooler. So if a team was doing too well that throw me on the field even interesting to the game, right?

Why did it down Mark McGwire record setting hit a 2000

foot home run? Just This was pre steroid. Tiny Way was a 2000 foot but home run. It was the first. Yeah, it was Go for a sacrifice for what? He was going for a sacrifice. But he was a man down and I do good. I threw that sucker. It's such a way physically, that the only possible hit was a 2000 foot home run.

Right. I'll see you apparently being someone and it went out of the park one time, right?

That's right. It's the first time the bench cleared to beat the crap out of me. My birthday

and you had

the most, uh, coach to picture talks in history of basically

because I'm nothing if not very convincing. Yeah, yeah. What coach? I'm actually feeling that this could be one more

than that. How these clubs keep making this mistake. Well, you traded over 300 times. You want Smith gay

back. And there was

a time where you you were traded 120 times without ever landing.

You just stay to the end. Stood in their way for two years, right? Like Tom Hanks in the term.

Yes, I did a terminal thing because I just kept it at land. I lead with my family, and immediately I'd walk off the plane. They said going to Tampa Bay. I just got to see

because they were doing these trades with

you where they weren't saying they were saying, We'll give you our first round draft pick and two auxiliary players. They would never do these blind trades and finally find out what thing that you're

bound in. 2000 for Guinness Book as chemist's back. Um, that's the meanest hoax you were forced to play in Tokyo for?

Well, yes, I still played for the Atlanta Braves, but they made me go to

Tokyo and pitch from their and I realized I wasn't in the

game. You really pulled that on what?

The one cool thing that happened while I was there As I started getting scouted by the Tokyo Giants and for a while I was there mascot, fat loser,

because they're trying to make their They're trying to make the game more American over there

so that Scots are funny jokes on American culture. Fat loser Hot dog Brad,

Was that also

you had that I had while you were fat loser? You had? How?

Because a lot of people

they'll true true tobacco, The true sunflower seeds. I chew a ball park, Frank, Remember?

Boy, you're eating. Are you chewing about truth? And you tried to start a new snack

called Big league dog, right?

It was, ah, partnership between me and big dogs that they didn't like

I asked for. That's it. It was a cease and desist between you and the

way we had funny little movie puns or big dog puns on top of hot dogs that you, true like guns,

were also the mascot for a little while of Tyson Chicken

just Yeah, because well, for a while, my name

oils breast. My nickname was spoiled breast because I had what doctors called bad picks

on these packs filled with. That's that

I pumped that stuff in it takes it up chunky. You know, you always think maybe I got a day left on this thing and it comes out. It's I know this is spoiled Home run. You convince the woman to

May, you already had a child in that child place.

He plays Italy because I missed the game so bad. I love I started that intro here. Yeah, the bleachers large is you know, I mean, we're number one on iTunes. Our listeners are fans. They know what this is, but we're four dads. We sit in the bleachers way through

t o in s dot

We're the only podcast on itunes dot com.

It's us. And hopefully soon Bugs Bunny that were coming

out. I heard it, but I got a sneak preview. Where's that rascally rabbit? I got a sneak preview. I got a screener play something. Let's hear a clip of a Bugs Bunny new podcast coming in the itunes dot com.

What's up, guys? one of the podcast.

You guys want to talk about any

two days? Uh, anyway, is anybody coming like Leno? Am I? You hear about this? Hey, you guys want to hear some headlines? This is little Kevin. Kevin hit me Would hit me with a hit me

with a nice

riff Oh, my God. Leno is struggling. He's trying to come back as a Bugs Bunny podcast.

Anyway, my guests on the show tonight,

if he makes a round of denim, will know it's him.

My guest on the show tonight are my seamstress who makes clothes. Okay, if

he says anything about cars and in his garage will definitely know it's him. First guest is this seamstress who makes all of his denim clothes,

And my musical guest is the guy that tunes up my rise exhibit. What little is all it left was pretending to be Bugs Bunny Hill. He says

anything about his wife whose name is moves May Fisk definitely knows him

anyway, Maybe put a Podd up because we're going to be here

for a while. You know, I heard I heard a rumor. I heard a rumor that Leno hasn't had a salad

in 40 years. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna eat this steak, and it's gonna be great, But he didn't. Hasn't necessarily not throw this

green stuff away. Has he said anything?

Day said, What's up? You say? What's up, Doc? You carrots? A gross. Oh, Elmer fide.

How you can cut

off the preview. Wow. Preview was That was little right. We think that it was Leno. Yeah, I was jamming in some kind of cartoon esque music behind it, but it was definitely let you know. Anyway,

I think it's

gonna be good, though, uh, name recognition for sure.

But we're here today to talk about. We got a new season upon us

that's just had over today. Last week,

a lot of good. There was a lot of good going on on the field, a little energy.

And this is the first year out of pitching machines. So we are. I mean, it is the you don't nobody trains

to be a picture because you have the pitching machine, and then you just get to see the debut of these, you know, 12 year old boys trying to pit This obviously is some shuttle subtle shuttles shuttles Shade being thrown in. My son Travis, because you guys all witnessed is his first start pitching for the Dodgers. That was really humiliating because he thought second base was the mound for around 100

and I said he was on second base pitching

towards the outfield, and I told him I said, Hey, son, after the game, he was really upset about it was all beat up about it. I said, Son, you can't intervene that the rules, I let him make his mistakes. That's partly that's partially on is the fault of your coach. I mean, he never stepped in, and I'm screaming at the coach from the bleachers,

My son, him out. Dr Thomas, Center field. That's that's But I

gotta help you out here. How that's bad info to you don't want on second pitch in towards the mound. You want him on the mound pitching towards home. He he was What is it called when you need somebody, you grow from the out, you throw from the outfield and you need to get off. Yet he was needing a cut off man to throw it back towards home plate

anyway, so

there though the center fielder was giving him signals

wearing the wrong outfit and Roy police uniforms squatted down on his name have been sick. New Zealand blue 42 out. That was a little bit confused, I

told Travis. I told them. I told them, Listen, son, not everybody is there to help you. People are that a lot of people exist to confuse you

has Heck, yeah, this league has misinformation spreading, and

there's all these hecklers

that are walking up and down the bleachers, going

pop card like shut the fuck would you call my wife? Soothe way that you

defend Your wife's son is I really respected Father with no backbone. I really respect the way that you care for someone That is not you. You like to call

yourself a sugar daddy and lie and say your wife is young and that you have money.

But it's a big lie. My wife married me because for God knows why. But she loves my ass for my money. That

question the love of a good woman.

Absolutely. And she is a good woman. I mean, she raised this point for 13 years on her own, and you know, worked two jobs and I came in and said, I can't work, but I'll be around sometimes

she is his grandmother, and she had to raise him alone. Is that true?

That's right. Well, he was born into shame. Um, it is meaning. Meaning? Both of his parents had both said there were virgins. Their whole life s. So he was born. Everybody said gotcha. And so they were embarrassed, and they booked

it. Is he immaculate? Is he

is He was immaculate conception or no, they just lied.

Know their lives? It was the they knew the whole time. Their

president Dry humping incidents. Ah, leakage IAB. They got a driving about these leaky, dry humps teens are doing. You need to watch out.

That's what your son Travis was born. Right?

Well, that's what I mean Firsthand experience. You were. You came in your pants and it still got your wife pregnant. That's right,

John. Do you think you're the same body type? So you wore each other's clothes.

We wear each other's clothes all the time, and it is it is business in the but a few times. But your son is 10% fruit of the loom. These 10% cotton. That's right. He's 10% cotton, 30% polyester, 60% most proud to you. My life, right? Where's that? 30% polyester come from? Well, they were waistband. I saw your son last week drying out on the line. My backyard.

That's, uh, He came over and he slept over there. He was hanging out with my wife, son. Uh, and he ended up showering. And then I said,

Yeah, go ahead, use the blow dryer and he came out. He was shrink. You might be more cotton than you even think.

That's right. That's right. That's right. You know, I took him to the dry cleaner once, and, uh, yeah, it sort of shows experienced. So you get a wedding, right? He didn't waited. So you take a lot of bad news. I accidentally wore my son to the weather. I want my son. The wedding underneath the Cumbre.

You shit your son. Last week I was drunk. Hey, I was drug. It was post Little

league. I was working the snack bar.

Yeah, uh, which I appreciate the spread that you have have sort of brought to the snack much

more of a meal born out.

Exactly. It's it's somewhat like a Sizzler salad bar, somewhat likely stolen. Excuse me.

Way kept winning with you the day the sizzler was Hey, hey, I have to I have a cold bob. It's mostly salad. Ham cubes like that. Theo Direct. I like pushing huge buffet is welcome. You're welcome. It's still a dollar. This is not Podd. Yeah, you could have at least

taken the sizzler logo off of the bars.

You're selling something. You're also getting hot tacos and you see yourself eggs, actual supplies. I mean, what's the problem you're having

called faked potatoes? Thank potatoes. Faked for data does. That's right. Well, this is sort of like a homeboy industries type, right? Jobs, not jails way. Invite young kids who need jobs to come in and dance around his potatoes. You order a fake potato

care about the mascot of the What is your when I order? There's not really that you hang out with a debit cards to it with them and you pretend to keep having a bite. But he's really just you do pretend to eat them, pretend while they, uh I think potato really

only felons. The dudes around you buy. You could take him around with

jobs. I'm creating low paying job.

You guys

know My wife decided not to come to gauge with me anymore. So she told me, Right, she's embarrassed, she said. She said, You can go, but you're I'm not going. So I've been getting a fake potato for every game, and

I've been just sitting, having a blast hanging out with this. You get a different kind

of fake potato, but there's a different experiences

I gotta now. Groton. They're right. Well, it was It was fake Potato song Rotten,

which is sort of a more mature adult, like potato.

Very rotten. You got a very

was writing, but he was reformed. He was reformed rotten potato. And honestly, he was end up being a real sweet kid. Uh, if I could adopt in my wood no substitute for your wife,

your wife, a lot of Children you could have done to me would be Oh, test driving, taking him back. And I root

for him. I think I do. I see him in the space. And then I realized I don't have

room for What do you mean the space. You

know my house. I I put it, man, I

don't have room for kids in your mansion.

No anymore. I mean, I got so much stuff

in there, I don't care what it is. Not only quick going with you to the ball games, but she's quick going with you anywhere or living with you. And I don't see

wherever you guys need at the same restaurant and disguises with their backs to each

other. Yeah,

I'm in the smoking section. She's in the non smoking.

So why you

both disguised and in the non smoking? It's because we don't want Because we know we want to be disguise to each other and to the world. We know I know that we're still doing this, right? So we we switch

it up every

every week. We do it different. Did you ever know which one she

is all the time? Okay. No treats when you are. For the most part, we bought her

custom. You each know you're the one in the disc. I

also also this one of these good disguises and the others Not so

I very good. And she's really bad theocracy. What's so bad about my disguises

right now. They're Brod. What do you

mean? They're too wide? Oh, OK.

You're very wide set jeans and shirts. You look like a young boy. Go to apartments for his dad's

problem is their famous characters from movies. These disguises?

Yeah, and no one believes that Godzilla sitting in the smoking section.

Oh, that's why you go to the smoky because he breathes fire. But like Godzilla? Because what if

Godzilla lights the table on fire? He's gotta be a smoke out to be permitted,

I think repair things with you one.

I've tried. Listen,

I've tried everything. I've tried everything. I bought her things I bought. I I adopted the kid that she wanted to and it was not good. Yeah, you know,

it's tough. I mean, you know, I think we can all admit to each other we have home problems. Yes, and that's why we enjoy being at the parks of God Being our feelings on didn't feel

well. Most of the umpire my house burnt down. Yes, I lost every

no problem

everything. I was able to get my four twins out good, but it was devastating.

And you know the community really rallied around to blame you for that

fire. I mean the amount out quickly evidence came out to incriminate eyes.

I was one of the quick to

scream at me that it was my

fear was so supportive of

everybody but you

because everyone said, Why do you need restaurant style for heaters in your home

And my answer? Waas I am obsessed e o enough way with sizzle does

not come from lighting another fire inside the paint.

This isn't worth the flame, my brother. Listen, a soon as I found out

that you can order the loudest food that the whole restaurant turns to see go to you and then go who? And they regret their choice. I was obsessed.

You started doing I mean the night your place burned down. Your four kids were out of the house you made for heat a meal for yourself.

Yeah, I made my own feet a meal with all the fixings and I just got obsessed. And of course, once you have hot

feet is you gotta have hot a fever and

then it's a slippery result. Slippery hard. And I was catching that high. I was trying to catch one of the biggest highs of my life. And I Yeah, he i e I had installed in 8000 degree titanium of And just to get those veggies

too hot

for any food

this new

I do about

spinoff of the heaters WIPO making with human feet.

I have heard about beautiful beaded I had It was a delicate It's a dog. Asi

you can't just

get it in a strip mall.

No, no, no. And feet meat. I swear to God, that sucks. Supple something. I mean 50 feet. Meet me feet. Meat is good.

Maybe that's what the road run

the same this whole time

Bpc Maybe it is. Oh, he just wants that. He just wants to Have you tried to get

feeling of the road when a heavy artist

podcast on iTunes. Oh, listen

me. Me. Okay, 50.

Now, that's gonna be a

good thing. That I think that's it. The tape ended.

Play it again. That big is

longer. We gotta find a long version. Oh, that was That was just that was the teaser played along. And let's make sure it's

the road runner because we got food last time. Okay, but I don't play it, Mimi. Okay, Beat, beat. Maybe a wish up, everybody. This is gonna be the best fucking podcast your pussy ass is they've ever listened to way. Obviously, does it got a single lady on this show? Me. I mean, never gonna have no ladies on this show and I'm gonna do is sipping a sip it sip on the beers, OK? I don't know if you

guys classic eyes does the worst commercials stepping on the beers. OK, we'll know if it's a course

commercial if you touch the rock.

You Yes, kept Rocky. Okay, Dice clay. You know, You know, if it's a course commercial, I bet you they're gonna have the silver bullet train companies, right? Hunk was not checked. You so it's not a train.

Oh, did I say the wrong noise for what you are, sir? Come on through.

Oh, wait. This is really confusing.

It may be one of those new bud light our way here

daily daily We will know, right? Oh, daily dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly dilly Deli, deli, Deli, Deli, Deli Is this the deli? Is this the deli Deli A. Is

this Andrew? Dice Clay having a stroke looking for a sandwich?

Well, that's that is Jerry Seinfeld's new Uh

Oh, yeah. Is this Jerry Seinfeld's new Podd guests?

Andrew, you guys comedians on and hang out while introduce Clay has a stroke.

You want a sandwich sandwich dice Okay with that. Is that kind of

sounds like Seinfeld. Alright, how Thanks for playing that. So I get the same new uh, a Siri's from Jerry Sign. Honestly, I hated it. Really Has been on my mind. I would love to talk about the high

quality from the umpires lately.

The, um, on it.

And let's be real. They don't get much love. They do not get much love, but we're here to say physical emotional. And this week, this week they did do a good job. I thought the games were called very down the middle. Yeah, I mean, they did good. I think they did. You know, there, they won't take off the chest plates. And

I look well, this

because of all the drive bus.

Yeah, right. Yes. They live in a rough neighborhood. The umpire part of town.

What you are doing, umpire part umpire. So they're sort of pushed to the outskirts.

Yeah, the body's gotta live right next to the cemetery.

Yeah, that's what's been the government out of the field.

Is there? What are they dead? And they wonder around 70

and light at night when they're not our games. They do want around the cemetery because

they scream it all the way. They're out. Thea, Umpire. Part of town I drove through the other day. I wouldn't bought weed over there.

air weeds for your yard right there. You're just your

And these

Yeah, I'm saying my blood weeds.

Yeah,

I'm playing leads. Well, how do you pay top dollar for these weeds? Uh, knock it. I get, um I get a stinky weed. Okay. Like, are squeezing Todd, I guess. Swag.

I could have some time to get on my powder also. Right. Let the earwig you. Ah, a week. Thank you. Uh, yes. Um, this is I'm not actually a British judge. This'll is not.

That's interesting. Home rang a role. The powder. You've had that air for a while. When you were playing, it would be underneath your powdered wig. Yes.

You didn't

even use a rosin bag. You just tapped yourself on the back. So they were jeering. You, calling you the Founding Farner?

Yes. Which only half of that's true? I've never found it. Anything. You're just fine. Oh, there was

a time where I was able Teoh strike a guy out and for the guy off second base and getting thrown out

way. Remember, we've seen some of those magical double double plays that have also been used a lot for blue. Yeah, but that was one of your only strength as the pictures you could fought so sure it would push a person off the base. Said you primarily. Yes, yes.

There was a very humiliating 30 for 30 about that. I did not. No, I would not have been the interviews if I had known that that was what was going to be,

What pretense with the interview. And you wonder.

Well, I didn't ask because I was, like, Other made a documentary about home run Henderson is gonna be I'm a hero. Were

they asking you about your eating habits and stuff

are a lot about my eating habits. A lot about the intentional questions. Yeah, I guess you're tested stuff about like, um or you ever too embarrassed. Uh, why didn't you get fix? Uh,

pretty straight. It's pretty straight for it.

I guess now that it is very hard hitting. It was very hard hitting, but I thought I didn't know it was gonna be a hit piece. I thought I thought 30 for 30 result fluff

piece. And when they played you audio clips

that fluff six episode piece on O. J. That was devastated. They really they really let him off

now, where they started playing the audio clips for you, you had to know what was up. They were playing your most famous farts loud farts, right Cloud forest 11 sort of wet fart. Couple

of a couple of silent, but deadly.

Yes, yes, I'll be

killed.

A man on second years are one of the only that are actually dead. You killed Ken Griffey Jr?

Yes. Yes, that was a silent and deadly. Is it true

that one of your farts was so was so strong that it was, um, that you were arrested for a military grade weapon?

Yes. Well, first I was arrested and then I made a deal with them, and for a while I was 14 in Iraq during the invasion after 9 11 So

that so that when they televise the invasion, a lot of those people didn't know that those bombs

that were going up for you just crank and amount. It's unbelievable the way they've tried to justify that, these were drone strike, right? You're looking at something, and all of a sudden the whole building just goes up in a puff.

We know that. That's, you know, you're

very wealthy because of your hair with the

governor, between you and the listeners, I did some stuff at Abu Ghraib on my product.

We've seen the pictures. Oh, yeah? Your video you fucking blow and stank in civilian space is over there. Yeah,

you know, it was really it was a different

time. It was a scary time.

Well, like 58 years ago.

Yeah, it was a scary time. We all knew that 9 11 was done by someone listed over. Uh, we

were thinking that for a while.

Yeah, and we were just terrified of everybody but ourselves. So we justified some stuff that I would regret, I would say I regret. Yeah,

because you are. You were tried for these war crimes, right?

Yes. I was tried at The Hague. Well, I was exonerated because all I had to use was the door knob defense. So if you if you say Donna, if you touch a daughter before someone says door knob when you fart, it's okay. Uh, safety or safety? Yes.

You say, Say before you say safety. If anybody says during out before you say safety, you touch a door knob, uh, or they can punch you. You

also brought out late in the case that people were pulling your finger. Yes. And it wasn't Yes, I read a couple of civilians. That's we're on right now. People want this is recorded. Double jeopardy,

double jeopardy. You can't be accused of hating,

maybe. Oh, just maybe just saying as a hypothetical. And you

particularly if I was farting under my own will to kill Iraqi civilians. Nobody was pulling my thing.

Yeah, it was really insane that your trial, when they brought in that Iraqi child and they made a big thing of it, made him grab your finger. And if they said if the hand fits,

yes. And, um

and if it

Yes, well, I had been mashing my fingers that morning so that they would look smaller because there's no way this hand would have fit in rocket shots. And as you can see, I have what they call steroid hands. A big cut of ballooning hands.

And how did your column Hamburger helper gloves hand

just, uh, scientific term. Uh, right. If you look, if you will look it up on Web M. D. It's a hamburger helper hands.

I thought I had hamburger apprehends for a while. Then I just realized I was eat a lot of hamburger helper. So I was looking at the box way. Well, I was. I can't read really well. So I hold the box really close that I saw the hand. I said, Is that mine anyway?

But you

usually a process.

Do it some good dad stuff from home. You're making those quick dinners for the kids because your wife is it the She's in the e. R. A lot. She's working in the e. R.

A lot. She's a she. She's working and she's there. Well, my wife is a janitor at the and she she works long hours. They meet her there 14 16 hours to clean up. The mess is

the busy.

It's a busy, messy place. So I I'm at home. I do a lot of meal planning. I'll cook toaster strudel for the way on and cracked Podd. Do what? I have seven crock pots lined up and I start Sunday morning. We just have the meals all week reading. So we have a toaster strudel crockpot way. Have a pop tart crockpot. We also have a store brought Cristante crockpot,

and so we just sort of

eat off that all week. Now kids are are growing and your you're serving something called hum bugger health. Yes, it's Hamburger Helper. It's Ah, it's sort of Yeah, it's sort of a disappointed at Christmas time in hell where it's got a little bit of everything. It's got hamburger, and it's just got too much seasoning.

You go Oh God! And it comes with a ghost of dinners pad.

Well, yes, it did. It does, which is just

a picture of whatever you serve the previous night.

Yeah, the ghost is just a old J Peguy putting up of Emilie body I hamburger helper your house the other night. Disgusting, right? It was made me cry. It made me cry because I realized that I'm Teoh obsessed

with money, but with a big lesson. So you're good dead because the board is you. Spend a lot of time with your kids.

Yes, I make them play baseball. Just I'm here with them every day. West. What? Sorry. You also served me something good. Fake and bake. Yeah, that's right, Which is similar to a fake potato. Facon Bank is a young kid who needs a job, comes over to my house and the Evans off, first of all, and he crawls in and then I really fast and he pops out when it dings. Going

done. And is he hurt? No. One

and 50? No, but it only pre heats he gets it really

gets really hot. It's like it's like

when you your first day on vacation. I got to get a base tan.

They just get the base

roast. I get these kids from the prison. What do you tell them? You do it?

It's a

work with Children are escaping by the day, Like on the same day. There was that big escape from the juvenile detention center. You started serving fake with. Yeah, well, there were those

of the said that this is like a broken it.

Listen, there was a fence size, a truck sized hole in the exact same shape is my F 3 50 right? That is a coincidence at both locations. Just because I have a double hitch and I can't and I can pull to salad bars at once with plenty of seats in the bed of my truck for 3 to 8 kids to play fake potatoes. It's a coincidence, right? Good, Dad.

Speaking of good dads, we should probably preview the games. The games coming up this weekend. No son schedule. We got some really good games. It looks I even remember where

teams all those sons player

for. I remember all my settings on the judges. My son Travis Travis. We called Travis P to not be confused with Travis. I was on the Bre. No, he's on the Dodgers.

You're on the Braves, the Braves. And

if you remember which teams are sons, play for bleachers large at itunes dot com.

Cash but Rio. So, uh oh, yes. So that we should just get it. Let's get to it. Ah, this week We got my son, my son steamed. The Dodgers is going up against the Astros, which looks to be good. We've got very good, Yeah,

one of my one of my twins.

Well, Tom Glavine Junior pitches for the Astro

and senior

senior? Yes, um, seniors lost a little bit of heat, Yes, but he still for 12 year olds.

Sure, letting adults play little big league. I've never seen that movie is the new rules. Okay, well, the rules don't coincide with what happens in the

booth. You know, it's all those things weigh. If you play with people better than you, you rise to the

Oh, nice. And sometimes they just beat you really bad, right? Well,

there's one team who it's mostly bigly. It's not little it all

right, and they really beat up on all the team

s. So it's the What's the

Washington D. C data

sources to see Daddy's

comprised of the 1997 Atlanta Braves? Yes, yes, everybody's there. Fred McGriff, David Just Albert Belle.

Chipper Jones. Jones Chippy

Bobby Cox is blood fielder.

Catch Smaltz's their smokes, is there? Turner's there? Uh, the guy, Andre The Giant's on TV. Yeah, makes Andre The giant skeleton? Uh huh. Uh huh. Flair is on the team as a referee.

Yes. Yes, The did your boy is the

trust is a basketball referee. Rates rise. That big, Lisa.