Seekers' Lounge
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s08e01

Monsters of Humanity Tour

Originally aired: November 21, 2018

After passing away, the guys set up shop in their new normal location.

0:00:00 Unknown Speaker #1

surprisingly good temperature. And here, I think, Yeah, it's warm. Ah, I like it like this. I honestly Yes. No, me. I'm a sweater and I like sweating.

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You have No You would

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like it to be cool if you are a sweater.

0:00:13 Unknown Speaker #1

No, no, no. Because I like the feeling I like the leg that, like, sort of slippy sliding feeling coming.

0:00:17 Unknown Speaker #3

Then you should say you're cold natured, you get cold. So you like it to be hot.

0:00:22 Unknown Speaker #1

I But I think I'm warm Nature. I moved towards nature. I'm like a warm or cold blooded animal. I like to be in a temperate. I like to be in the temperature. I like to feel so I like to be in the heat.

0:00:32 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, I mean, your bed,

0:00:33 Unknown Speaker #3

your bed is uncomfortable. Kind of like a Terreri. Um,

0:00:37 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, well, I was so it was so nice when they

0:00:37 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah,

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said the terrarium comparison is 100% accurate.

0:00:44 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. All right. Well, you guys rockets the lizard because you like her side of the soft and your side to

0:00:51 Unknown Speaker #1

be rocks and a cactus. Yeah, I wish there was a her side right now. It's all it's all him side. Ah, it's all years. Yeah. No, I haven't needed a heat lamp. You guys, do you guys know my old place? Ah, put on Earth. Uh, I had a nice little heat lamp, but down here, on the minimum anymore. And I'm just, you know, honestly, and I'm loving the food that they've been giving me that fresh lettuce is so good. Oh, yeah, honestly, it's so good. It's so crisp. It's watery. It keeps me hydrated. I'm honestly

0:01:20 Unknown Speaker #5

Are you okay, though? Cause I noticed you haven't been eating your crickets, huh?

0:01:24 Unknown Speaker #4

Jumping away from

0:01:25 Unknown Speaker #1

me. I'm not quick enough. I'll get there, though. I will get there where the cricket eating will be possible. Well, yeah. I mean,

0:01:31 Unknown Speaker #2

you do

0:01:31 Unknown Speaker #3

have a elongated neck that is able to eat things whole and slowly push them

0:01:39 Unknown Speaker #1

down, right? Yeah. You know, I think a very quick evolution, you could say came down here, started eaten, eating things that reptiles eat. And I started to sort of feel more like a reptile. Look more like a reptile. My Dave

0:01:52 Unknown Speaker #5

offering a women here. Apples from a tree

0:01:55 Unknown Speaker #6

Also, You've been crazy about Budweiser. Levi's.

0:01:59 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. Yeah, yeah. me. I you know, I met those two guys I met those other two guys Ice. Yeah, well, there's other two frogs, Uh, and we've just been having a blast with, but But I'm the bud there. The wise there, there. Uh, So you guys have been

0:02:14 Unknown Speaker #3

touring around doing that commercial? Yeah. Like, area is an act.

0:02:18 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah. You And to to,

0:02:22 Unknown Speaker #3

uh, bullfrogs to bullfrogs are on the road in hell,

0:02:28 Unknown Speaker #2

Which is where we are. Yeah, let's right at me. But light Wait, I think I I'm saying it. I mean, I know it was hard to say it first. Where in How

0:02:42 Unknown Speaker #5

I had the same thing after my third divorce. I couldn't say I was divorced for a long time, and it was a huge You didn't. Ah, personal thing when I finally said it and finally left the house.

0:02:53 Unknown Speaker #6

That must same for May, with you guys to be in hell. I mean, because I'm not, you know, uh, I'm not there. Rail line.

0:03:00 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, you're in denial, Sam.

0:03:02 Unknown Speaker #5

It's the first

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time. And I don't mean the

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river. No, no, you don't Ideo. He's not Cleopatra.

0:03:09 Unknown Speaker #6

Well, then why am I dressed like this.

0:03:11 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, that's why my just so where they were in the mile, you're playing out the joke in denial. While you're in actual deny. It's weird. It's weird disrespect. I know who I am. It's I'm Cleopatra, and I'm leaving in the Nile. Listen, you need

0:03:27 Unknown Speaker #3

to go to the hell therapist and get to buy breakthrough. Because we had it. I had it on Earth with ridiculous divorce was

0:03:35 Unknown Speaker #2

just Matt a choice. And then he had it with his divorce on Earth. And now we've had it in hell.

0:03:42 Unknown Speaker #3

Where in hell we've we've accepted it. And you are dragging your feet dressed like Cleopatra.

0:03:49 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay,

0:03:50 Unknown Speaker #1

you are. You know, and look, I think the first step to just sort of coming to terms with being inhale guys is to get back to what we know best, which is getting behind the mikes and recording a podcast. So I think there I think we need to do it. I think we need to dismiss.

0:04:07 Unknown Speaker #2

There are bikes and hell

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there are. Well,

0:04:09 Unknown Speaker #6

the women were sitting in front of what?

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mikes in hell there. So

0:04:11 Unknown Speaker #2

There's a lot of open

0:04:14 Unknown Speaker #2

there's a lot of Mike's hot mikes open. My

0:04:18 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, yeah, you gotta Every anywhere you go in hell, you have to go through at least three open Mike.

0:04:24 Unknown Speaker #2

It's weird. They're sort of back door to pull your name out of a hat and get some time. You don't have to

0:04:29 Unknown Speaker #1

just doth walk through them. You have to perform

0:04:33 Unknown Speaker #2

cold packs there back then, by the time you go up there empty and it's devastating because of these air, not venues that

0:04:41 Unknown Speaker #3

are good for comedies are busy Coffee shop,

0:04:44 Unknown Speaker #2

disease starts, side street, busy side streets. Yeah, health funerals, healthy girls. You have to go back. You have to do five, and and and you don't you don't get a ton

0:04:57 Unknown Speaker #3

of time to prepare your here. Your A lot of times you're surprised with your booking.

0:05:02 Unknown Speaker #6

I went up the cry factory the other night, and it was

0:05:05 Unknown Speaker #3

that for people that don't know that is the Cheesecake Factory in hell.

0:05:10 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, menus huge.

0:05:13 Unknown Speaker #3

And it's devastating there, playing all your worst moments from Earth, while people in all white, dirty, dirty, all white

0:05:21 Unknown Speaker #6

or dirty white serve you hellish night.

0:05:24 Unknown Speaker #4

Same menu saying

0:05:26 Unknown Speaker #6

menu. The avocado egg rolls they do give you an order of avocado egg rolls. If you're going up, we ask. That is very right before you go right before you go stuffed. And I had to follow Dane Cook. And how?

0:05:40 Unknown Speaker #2

And that is the chef. Yes, Yes. Dane. Comma cook. Yes. Yes. You know you're not

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the famous, you

0:05:48 Unknown Speaker #1

know. He's still alive and well on earth. He's not out here. No,

0:05:50 Unknown Speaker #6

he's a demon, right? Dane Comic believe so? Yes. Yeah,

0:05:54 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, his devil's food cake is going well.

0:05:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Look, you got super that, you know, showed up in sooth person. We thought when we were in denial was Jesus way first got there. We learned that Satan

0:06:09 Unknown Speaker #5

were crazy about Hello. Satan is litigious

0:06:12 Unknown Speaker #2

denial. I thought that was Tutankhamen. Who is that again? Student Common

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is an old pharaoh that I use

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also known as King Tut.

0:06:20 Unknown Speaker #3

00 I see.

0:06:22 Unknown Speaker #5

Martin did a send up of him.

0:06:24 Unknown Speaker #1

What? Its end up,

0:06:25 Unknown Speaker #6

huh? You know that Steve Martin thing pissed me off? Not very a little

0:06:31 Unknown Speaker #3

apprised. Uh, what's up? He went. What's up?

0:06:37 Unknown Speaker #5

That's too small.

0:06:38 Unknown Speaker #6

This is a big stop.

0:06:39 Unknown Speaker #1

As on earth, so is inhale is what I'll say. So you do that smoother as on Earth. So it is in hell. You're

0:06:47 Unknown Speaker #3

cutting off the circulation to your face. You have

0:06:49 Unknown Speaker #6

Teoh. Maybe it's cause your hair has gotten so long. It's tighter.

0:06:53 Unknown Speaker #1

It's not. That's not the problem, guys. Uh, cranial swelling. Listen, I know that

0:07:00 Unknown Speaker #2

eating a lot of salt.

0:07:01 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm not eating a lot of guys. I'm only eating well. Let big glasses. Guys, I know this equipment looks new, and you're probably all thinking, you know, we got it under control, but, uh, we've been recording.

0:07:14 Unknown Speaker #4

Ah,

0:07:16 Unknown Speaker #6

just another layer.

0:07:18 Unknown Speaker #1

I thought I thought for sure that I would have it this this time around.

0:07:23 Unknown Speaker #2

You think this after life you would be crystal clear and not making the same mistakes? The problem isn't how I think they

0:07:33 Unknown Speaker #1

set me up for failure here. I think they made they. The buttons aren't labeled right,

0:07:41 Unknown Speaker #2

because we're in hell. I didn't think

0:07:43 Unknown Speaker #6

waiting in the Nile could get any worse. Could get any worse.

0:07:47 Unknown Speaker #5

Not in the Nile. You are in denial.

0:07:49 Unknown Speaker #2

You are in during the first stage of grief, you get my golden hair. You told him hitless and you went to

0:07:57 Unknown Speaker #3

the costume store, which are there so many costume stores down here,

0:08:01 Unknown Speaker #2

there's every costume is running this and they're mislabeled. Sometimes you're like trying to get a bite to eat. And when you walk in

0:08:08 Unknown Speaker #3

there like tricked all wigs and sketch customs.

0:08:11 Unknown Speaker #2

Dammit, I

0:08:12 Unknown Speaker #1

ordered a hamburger from one the other day and it was a bun with a sexy nurse costume in between. The two buns was

0:08:19 Unknown Speaker #2

See, now that's crazy because they're sort of they're really going for that trip. Israel, but not what I said. It's too crazy. That is crazy.

0:08:30 Unknown Speaker #1

But anyway, guys, we're recording this old time, so

0:08:33 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean, you can't blame

0:08:34 Unknown Speaker #3

it on on the This is top quality Mike's and recording devices. We are across the what? Well, we were at hell's orientation.

0:08:48 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, well, I mean, before we get into it, I think we should remind people that you are listening to the teachers lounge. This used to be the podcast. That was for, uh, first issues pertaining. Teoh said, Who cares? Because we're in hell now on. Things have jammed.

0:09:04 Unknown Speaker #6

Have you guys stopped caring about everything? I've never been morning. Yeah. You would think that

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you would fully give up. But there's something about this air down here that increases your anxiety. Uh, really makes you stress. Uh,

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you've always feel

0:09:21 Unknown Speaker #3

late down here is an interesting

0:09:23 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, the thing is, on Earth I always was late, but I didn't care. And now I always feel late. No matter what

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you were here.

0:09:31 Unknown Speaker #1

I think that there's there's weird magic at play because I've been I've walked into places looking at my watch, and it says, I got five minutes ago. I walked through the door in that hand, jumps 15 minutes into the future, and

0:09:43 Unknown Speaker #2

everybody's looking at you all hoping their risk. I've noticed up being in the Nile for the first time. I care about stuff, and it's really

0:09:52 Unknown Speaker #6

affecting how I feel. It's

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really making me unhappy. Usually, I used

0:09:56 Unknown Speaker #6

to go through life, do whatever I wanted and not really react to the world around me, but, uh, devastated that who I am.

0:10:03 Unknown Speaker #5

Uh, well, we should do a quick intro. The Teacher's Lounge. Ah, if you're listening for the first time ever, Way did. Ah, seven seasons on Earth and now we're in hell. We were murdered by the lunatic in the white house

0:10:18 Unknown Speaker #1

in front of the school book depository. Uh, he buried us eight feet underground. I

0:10:25 Unknown Speaker #2

realized this when that was happening, but it was a lot of it was a lot like JFK's assassination. I did not realize after seeing the video, they were very similar. There's a print. Our Zapruder film is. Putin

0:10:38 Unknown Speaker #1

is a Pooter Pooter

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film, which is what they're calling it. Um, is and

0:10:43 Unknown Speaker #2

our own museum, right? Yeah. Dallas?

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we were getting

0:10:46 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. They're putting up a museum that's in what's the opposite of in memoriam?

0:10:50 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, it's celebrating the killer. Yeah, it's for

0:10:53 Unknown Speaker #1

the lunatic in the White House. It's It's his memorabilia. And just a small a picture of us.

0:10:59 Unknown Speaker #6

It's gonna be more like a presidential library. Yeah,

0:11:02 Unknown Speaker #5

a lot of scholarly books about like that. They invented a word for a feeling Joy at the death of somebody. Um uh, it's like a German ish word.

0:11:14 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Heil. Hi, Ari Hyo. All right,

0:11:19 Unknown Speaker #5

um, but we're unfortunately in hell now we're recording out of that. We work in hell.

0:11:25 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes! Yeah, yeah. We walked across the street. We blew off the orientation. That shit was boring. Was leading that McCain e. I think that

0:11:35 Unknown Speaker #6

was McCain. Once again, I don't like listening.

0:11:39 Unknown Speaker #1

I also don't like that he started going by his last name.

0:11:42 Unknown Speaker #2

No, he is. It's like the whole bad boy style is doing really

0:11:46 Unknown Speaker #5

lead into the maverick thing. It's like as on Earth. So in hell Pain. We were surprised to see you in hell, McCain And he said, I'm not, but yeah, and he But he also leads that in that orientation with, like, way to much energy and way more important than anyone. That's a part of it. Feels like it is. Yeah, like guys. You don't listen now you're not gonna understand later, and

0:12:10 Unknown Speaker #1

silly. I mean, what is there to understand? Were were destined to eternal damnation. I don't need somebody to remind me how everything works down. Okay? I've learned everything by experience so

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it's so

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far. Buying into it early on, when they were passing out the T shirts, I was like,

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This could

0:12:25 Unknown Speaker #3

be fun if I get in the mind. If I just accept this, it might be fun, right? But I hated those teas.

0:12:31 Unknown Speaker #5

They were so big on us. They're like it's like it different sizes don't get a bunch of triple Excels.

0:12:37 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, and they were clever. They t shirts were clever.

0:12:41 Unknown Speaker #5

They thought they were clever.

0:12:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, I wasn't minding

0:12:44 Unknown Speaker #6

the tour so much when they weren't talking to us. And we could sort of talk to our our fellow hell mates and to be down here with Yeah, but then when they stopped and got us into the multipurpose area and just started talking at us,

0:12:56 Unknown Speaker #3

yeah, it was boring. So we walked across the street to a We work. If you guys are familiar with, we works, they are shared cool, shared spaces. Very do work

0:13:08 Unknown Speaker #6

every young millennials to do whatever they want while they pretend to work with their

0:13:13 Unknown Speaker #3

dog. Yeah, there's tons of dogs in here.

0:13:16 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, there's a bunch of dogs with no, like no callers on the And if you are you I do a big show of thinking the dog has cute. So everyone knows here that I'm not likeable.

0:13:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, who is the You keep trying it to use people to hook up with. Yeah, Yeah, it feels false on you time. Really? Yeah. Well, it hasn't

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worked, that's for sure.

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I tell you, don't like. And

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I've had dogs kind of carrying them by the scruff

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because it's how their mothers do it. It's

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how their mothers do it.

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You're not with your teeth tied. Also,

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it's not other people. You're doing it to other people's dogs. It's

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how their mothers do it. Putting him

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in the corner and then trying to breast

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feed. Yeah,

0:14:01 Unknown Speaker #5

I just Hey, as on Earth, So in hell I'm trying to get laid down here. So, uh, walking around on parent and

0:14:10 Unknown Speaker #2

go was your date last night?

0:14:12 Unknown Speaker #5

Um, it was a top to bottom disaster.

0:14:16 Unknown Speaker #2

Really? That's a surprise.

0:14:17 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, you bottom. She arrived. Yeah, you were talked about. I went from top to bottom. I came in thinking I was the top and I left the bottom

0:14:26 Unknown Speaker #2

bad. Well, it was fine. It's just, you know, when

0:14:30 Unknown Speaker #5

someone else doesn't have chemistry with you. I like your doing. Hey, everything right? They're just not there, you know? And I tell you what, uh, dating is hell, You know what I mean?

0:14:44 Unknown Speaker #6

Were they where? Every time you said something, they just stare at you blankly not knowing anything about what you said,

0:14:50 Unknown Speaker #2

right? Yeah. Rid. Well, because the thing is, they were

0:14:53 Unknown Speaker #5

saying something and they were wrong about it. Their time of politics wrong. So I was I was kind of jumping in and explaining to them Well, yeah, I'm a libertarian. I'm a I'm a Bill Maher libertarian on. And so I was saying like, No, no, no, Don't you understand? If you don't regulate anybody, everything's fine. I have no evidence of this, but I'll say it forever. And he kept trying to chime in. I said, Let me explain it to you. You know, we just had no chemistry.

0:15:22 Unknown Speaker #3

That's up by my Yeah,

0:15:24 Unknown Speaker #2

you guys went to a beautiful restaurant. Did that end up being a restaurant?

0:15:27 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, it was beautiful in there, but I will say this that my pumpkin costume burger was a little bit overcooked over overcooked. Interesting. Yeah.

0:15:41 Unknown Speaker #6

Could you tell? Was it singed?

0:15:43 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, to a crisp? Yeah, It was a burnt pumpkin costume burger. And you

0:15:48 Unknown Speaker #2

were in a costume shop. You in a costume shop?

0:15:51 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, tell that to my sumo wrestler costume dessert.

0:15:55 Unknown Speaker #2

I can have a little fan on it. What? You ate that? Yeah, I heard you this morning. You When you poo did this morning. We had a fan and had a way

0:16:09 Unknown Speaker #5

to inflate the sumo. Right? That's

0:16:11 Unknown Speaker #3

about a weird fan that's on your butt in the Schumann costume.

0:16:16 Unknown Speaker #5

Um, yeah, but, you know, that's my experience in hell. I do feel like, um I am a new me here a

0:16:24 Unknown Speaker #1

little. I think we all kind of have to feel that way, because it is This is the new normal. My

0:16:31 Unknown Speaker #3

guys, this is our new normal on,

0:16:33 Unknown Speaker #1

and and And if, for all intents and purposes, this is our eternity and that's the thing. I mean, the concept of infinity and eternity is something that terrified me since the day I was born. So the fact that

0:16:43 Unknown Speaker #5

you always were hoping you would die and be dead forever

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I've never thought about

0:16:47 Unknown Speaker #5

what I was a kid.

0:16:48 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Who wants to continue on in this consciousness?

0:16:51 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, I I always hoped that, you know, the lights go out and there's nothing there, but it turns out the lights don't go out. The scenery just changes.

0:17:01 Unknown Speaker #5

Isn't that brutal? That you hated being alive so much that you were so scared that you would have to keep happening for eternity.

0:17:09 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, that dying would still be living. It was my biggest fear.

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I'm so that makes me so sad.

0:17:14 Unknown Speaker #1

And it's and it's come true twice. And

0:17:16 Unknown Speaker #2

here's the thing. That's the crazy thing for you knew this already. I

0:17:20 Unknown Speaker #1

did it. I did. I knew all

0:17:21 Unknown Speaker #2

this already very

0:17:22 Unknown Speaker #6

coy Down here in the night.

0:17:24 Unknown Speaker #2

I've been here before, literally quickly and too quick, Succinct sentences. Tell us how you died the first time and came back. And then you're here now when you died again, Well, the first

0:17:35 Unknown Speaker #1

time that I died, If I'm not mistaken, I had sex and my heart stopped. That's Ah, I died and came toe hell or heaven. Ah, they're very similar. If there I've been in two different places, but they seem very similar. But then I came back to life. Obviously, um, you guys did a seh aunts and brought me back to life into a stew Taylor's body and ah, And then eventually I shed the cocoon of Stew Taylor's body on and ah became Howard again. But ah, the and my insides were used to hide dynamite and we blew up box son's wedding right with my body and I became just a severed head that I then attached Teoh Arnold Schwarzenegger's body, right? Ah, and then lived with that for a little while and then I died again with you guys at the end of last season. Ah, after camp, too. Perfect. Sous ain't Senate. Yeah, it's been hell literally ups and downs for me. But honestly, I feel like there is, like, a little bit of me that just knows now what? What to expect from life. And I'm gonna grab it by the horns. Well, try to make

0:18:44 Unknown Speaker #2

it. When we first got here, we were kind of walking around and I do remember

0:18:48 Unknown Speaker #3

somebody saying, Oh, no, it's him and and running off. And then it was

0:18:54 Unknown Speaker #5

a woman with kind of your features, like an older version of you with

0:18:59 Unknown Speaker #1

my mom. Really? That was my mom? Yeah.

0:19:02 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, my God. So you're telling me that this thing we have

0:19:06 Unknown Speaker #3

on earth when we that makes us feel better when someone dies? Oh, at least I'll see them in heaven.

0:19:12 Unknown Speaker #2

It happened to you, but the full opera Your mom was in hell and she was avoiding you.

0:19:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, and I followed her. I followed her. She followed. I followed her. She

0:19:23 Unknown Speaker #6

for how long?

0:19:24 Unknown Speaker #1

Ah, well, you mean you guys? How long was I gone? Ah, a couple double days. I followed her.

0:19:30 Unknown Speaker #2

She with anyone?

0:19:31 Unknown Speaker #1

She waas? Sure she was with. She was with someone. What was happening? Ah, they Well, I'll say he he was not. He was younger. Older? Uh, quite a bit older.

0:19:45 Unknown Speaker #6

Interesting. And your way. You know, your mom is with an older man in hell, huh? They both sort of looks and their bodies.

0:19:54 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. No, they both look very different from each other. Uh, well, yeah. Looks like she sought out something specific. Did you recognize him? Uh, I don't know

0:20:08 Unknown Speaker #5

What a Some of your features. Maybe he was. Your dad was

0:20:11 Unknown Speaker #1

here. That's the thing, guys. What? He wasn't my dad. Oh,

0:20:15 Unknown Speaker #5

no. Your mom's having

0:20:16 Unknown Speaker #1

an affair and help. Well, yeah, my mom died. My dad's still alive, and she's having an affair with my dad in hell with an older man with an older man. Yeah,

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he's bragging about it.

0:20:25 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, well, he here's the crazy thing. I finally caught up with my mom at a restaurant. Yeah, I sort of stood over to the side waiting, waiting to make my move. She went to the bathroom. She would just to say hello.

0:20:39 Unknown Speaker #2

Just making sure she went to the

0:20:40 Unknown Speaker #5

water was she would avoid you

0:20:44 Unknown Speaker #1

always making moves. She went to the bathroom and her knew her new friend came over to the bar. And you see that hot piece of ass I'm with? Jay says, And I said, Listen, buddy, I don't want to hear this.

0:20:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, so he confided in you

0:20:56 Unknown Speaker #1

about it and me, and he told me so,

0:20:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Being misogynistic towards your mother? Yes. And I heard you went along with it because you're too scared t to stand

0:21:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. I mean, for a little

0:21:05 Unknown Speaker #4

up to this man.

0:21:07 Unknown Speaker #2

you added on that rumor has been going around. Hell, yeah.

0:21:10 Unknown Speaker #1

You know, this might might Hell stepdaddy, uh, forced me to be more more misogynistic than he

0:21:18 Unknown Speaker #5

forced you to, bro. Out with him about how hot your mom was. And you never spoke up about your

0:21:25 Unknown Speaker #1

mom. He said, Don't you love how her shirt so thin you can see your po keys?

0:21:29 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, so he's massage and weird. I said, Oh, Yeah. Oh, yeah. You could cut ice with those. Hey, was getting

0:21:39 Unknown Speaker #6

so misogynistic that he was starting to get turned on to you because you looked

0:21:43 Unknown Speaker #2

like her. How are you? How are anyway, I let him kiss me. Whoa! Oh, our This is devastated. Oh, it's fun. I want to really help your that the whole a cious nightmare.

0:21:56 Unknown Speaker #4

Who have you been texting him? Ah, I don't have

0:22:00 Unknown Speaker #2

the heart to say anything. He's he's playing. You keep saying the main de main squeeze is your mother. Yeah. And I said I've

0:22:09 Unknown Speaker #6

noticed you scratching a lot down below.

0:22:12 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, Everything okay? Uh, yes. Going on. We're not

0:22:17 Unknown Speaker #2

talking about the crabs you immediately get upon arrival.

0:22:20 Unknown Speaker #5

We're not doing the hell crab. No,

0:22:24 Unknown Speaker #1

no. Apparently, I've got a

0:22:25 Unknown Speaker #2

yeast size, but also days as Howard Howard,

0:22:32 Unknown Speaker #5

this is bad for you.

0:22:34 Unknown Speaker #2

You, Todd, this is a taxing. Accepted it, And I was on earth size seven. Hell,

0:22:41 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm going to take I'm gonna take the curveballs that God or the devil astern at me

0:22:45 Unknown Speaker #2

and I am not holes. Well, that's the thing. Oh,

0:22:48 Unknown Speaker #4

I didn't see

0:22:49 Unknown Speaker #2

you once when you were drying off. When you got out of the shower and I swung. I way

0:22:59 Unknown Speaker #4

you knew where

0:23:00 Unknown Speaker #2

they were going to be. Exactly.

0:23:01 Unknown Speaker #4

And all of a sudden, in comes an umpire from nowhere and says you're

0:23:08 Unknown Speaker #1

well, uh, yeah,

0:23:10 Unknown Speaker #5

but, uh, if anyone hasn't seen it, definitely. Go on. Uh, go online and check out. Babe Ruth called it and he knocked her balls. I mean, they went,

0:23:23 Unknown Speaker #2

yes. Lie games, Johnny. Babe Ruth called it. You'll find it. You'll find its video, baby, It's got, like, knocking it out of the

0:23:33 Unknown Speaker #1

http colon Backslash backslash h e double l dot youtube dot com tell you to be different.

0:23:41 Unknown Speaker #2

And you when you when your balls were hit out of the park were caught by a young boy and then a man stole it from the young boy. Yeah, that went viral. That went by.

0:23:53 Unknown Speaker #1

It was ah, it was Ah, young native American boy caught it and he was punched by a middle aged white man and they touched the ball with hell is the same as Earth.

0:24:08 Unknown Speaker #5

It seems to me like we are all experiencing different stages of grief waiting except we got you And

0:24:18 Unknown Speaker #2

yes, participants acceptance and participants which is not a state. You're doubling down and

0:24:26 Unknown Speaker #5

created a new stage of grief. Sam is clearly in denial.

0:24:30 Unknown Speaker #6

Must be so tough for you guys to be in stages. Fact,

0:24:33 Unknown Speaker #4

Sam. Well, I'm on your

0:24:34 Unknown Speaker #6

side. I just feel like I'm the strong one right now. I need a shoulder to lean on its

0:24:39 Unknown Speaker #2

me. All right.

0:24:42 Unknown Speaker #5

Um what

0:24:44 Unknown Speaker #1

stage are you in, Todd?

0:24:45 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, what else is there? There's anger. Which that's kind of perpetual. Yeah, I guess I was grieving for 120 years or 75 way All went through

0:24:54 Unknown Speaker #3

that stage. We got in the ring early here in hell, and I thought we could box and getting the shit beat out of us to We're looking for a place to put that anger.

0:25:03 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, Yeah. They said we could box anyone of our choice on We all said butter be

0:25:09 Unknown Speaker #2

way all in unison Said Butterbean Way

0:25:16 Unknown Speaker #5

got puzzled by butter baby

0:25:18 Unknown Speaker #2

butter Bean is bigger and less in shape

0:25:21 Unknown Speaker #6

down here. But the punching strength is still

0:25:21 Unknown Speaker #5

when he was on earth

0:25:24 Unknown Speaker #5

and it's a It was crazy. When they asked me that it was as if I had been thinking about that question my whole life. I didn't know it. I have so quickly.

0:25:31 Unknown Speaker #1

I I've been thinking about it since the day I saw him. Knockout Knoxville. Yeah, I was like, I would love to. I would love to have the opportunity to fight this man.

0:25:39 Unknown Speaker #6

So after butter being pummeled, us? Yeah. We couldn't go down losers. So we had to challenge someone else to a boxing fight. You know, I challenge Louis C. K. I know he's been boxing to burn off some steam and, well, he kicked the shit out. T o b U

0:25:55 Unknown Speaker #5

on right. When he walked out, you got a standing ovation before even starting a

0:26:01 Unknown Speaker #3

long time for them to sit out.

0:26:02 Unknown Speaker #5

It was as if he had, like, come back from a USO tour. Everyone was just like, Oh, so happy to see him in how Levi's everyone in hell was very excited. That Louise back. Yeah, so that it was like, All right, all right. We got to do something a little easier. So of course in unison. Verne Troyer and boy, did

0:26:25 Unknown Speaker #2

we pummel him. Really? Do. We did win that back to back the back to back fights Rive earned ref.

0:26:32 Unknown Speaker #1

The ref game was standing 10 count

0:26:35 Unknown Speaker #2

introducing new fighter after new fighter and we would kick the shit out of him. Then after

0:26:41 Unknown Speaker #5

the orientate, one of the parts of hell that you don't know is gonna happen is they force you to watch your own funeral.

0:26:46 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes, it's a humbling experience that bad. It seems like they only do it for people who had bad funerals too, because, I mean, there are some people who had great funerals

0:26:54 Unknown Speaker #2

A at the beginning of orientation they give you a thumb drive with your funeral,

0:27:00 Unknown Speaker #1

you can choose It could be a thumb drive or you can dio ftp You can do a direct download from

0:27:05 Unknown Speaker #2

you know, we have box.

0:27:06 Unknown Speaker #1

You could do. We transfer.

0:27:07 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, you can do whatever. I'm wire.

0:27:11 Unknown Speaker #5

We're just bear share. Soc farmers only

0:27:19 Unknown Speaker #2

I chose buyer share and it is It's sandwich in

0:27:24 Unknown Speaker #3

between a, um mine. Also I think has ah, eyes mystic o help him on

0:27:32 Unknown Speaker #2

it. Yeah, I lived in four different

0:27:34 Unknown Speaker #5

ones. I got a mystical album. I got a cover of gin and juice by, uh, by a late nineties punk band. Yeah,

0:27:42 Unknown Speaker #2

the 80 aliens cover outcast without the tinny showing. But

0:27:48 Unknown Speaker #5

it is no matter which which one you use. You haven't account already. You have a password, but you don't remember what it is. And so, yeah, I get the video. You have to read. You have to enter, like, 10 different passwords. And they got a new one

0:28:02 Unknown Speaker #3

so hard you have to answer all these. What was your mother's mother's maiden name? And it's like,

0:28:09 Unknown Speaker #2

How do I know? I don't even know my mom's name. You got your first name? You got

0:28:15 Unknown Speaker #6

a new password recovery and do about this email my emails. They're never going through. I'm getting stuff back from this mailer demon all.

0:28:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Hey, bring some to my front door. Really do.

0:28:28 Unknown Speaker #5

That is one of the personalities of hello Say

0:28:30 Unknown Speaker #2

is here. And he was having fun with his job. He comes in and goes, Hey, guess what? They're

0:28:37 Unknown Speaker #4

not sad anymore.

0:28:39 Unknown Speaker #2

He always says you've gotten

0:28:41 Unknown Speaker #5

the wrong address. Uh, um, he'll come by instead on Earth. Mailman are scared of dogs. He comes to your house with a scary dog. Six it on you.

0:28:51 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, he drives

0:28:53 Unknown Speaker #3

on his is. It's just a regular car doesn't have the seat on the right.

0:28:58 Unknown Speaker #5

Uh, but

0:28:59 Unknown Speaker #6

walks right into your house and put your mail on your desk.

0:29:02 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, he wears short shorts on his head. This guy's bath, not blue,

0:29:08 Unknown Speaker #3

obviously opposite of blue, which is the world. Lau Loud clothes.

0:29:14 Unknown Speaker #6

How's it of blue is live

0:29:19 Unknown Speaker #5

so But once we recovered it all, they force us to watch our funeral

0:29:23 Unknown Speaker #1

way. Made it. We made a night of it. You know, we all figured, Hey, let's just sit down and we'll go through this together if you can't. If you If you got to do something bad, you might as well do with your buddies. Right? So we all sat down and watched each other's funerals.

0:29:36 Unknown Speaker #6

Yeah, we had some hard corn kernels.

0:29:39 Unknown Speaker #1

Ah, and it was enlightening to say the least, I would say for all of us really saw what we meant to people on

0:29:46 Unknown Speaker #5

Earth. Well, yeah, for my funeral. The last thing in my will was I requested the the guy that held Ariana Grande and a very weird way at Aretha Franklin's funeral. Uh, I said, uh, this guy has got to perform the service for May um, and had that go. Well, as we saw watching the funeral, he did that to my body. Uh, he was kind of hugging my body with his hand right under my pectoral. Squeezing a bunch on it made me feel very like, um uh, Gross. I was expecting it.

0:30:23 Unknown Speaker #1

And you're obviously all your ex wife's showed up.

0:30:26 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, well, they showed up for this was not my will, but they showed up for the ceremonial spitting on the body, which that I didn't know they could do stuff that wasn't in your will.

0:30:35 Unknown Speaker #6

Sort of an impromptu. Yeah,

0:30:38 Unknown Speaker #5

I think that's what it was. Is one of them got up and spit on

0:30:41 Unknown Speaker #4

most of your

0:30:42 Unknown Speaker #6

will. Was rules for your funeral. Yeah. Not who you bequeath, Teoh are Who gets your your stuff,

0:30:50 Unknown Speaker #1

and we have. And we've gone over some of this in the past

0:30:53 Unknown Speaker #5

way. Oh, yeah, my funeral writer. Um, but yeah, my whole will. And then I like my video. Well, is more rules for my funeral? Um, and then, uh oh. And that they didn't follow the rules. And that was upsetting toe watch. I was happy to see that my daughter came. Really? Yes. Yeah. She couldn't muster some fucking tears for me. Um,

0:31:19 Unknown Speaker #2

smiling and giggling a lot.

0:31:20 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, It was a giggly funeral. Uh,

0:31:24 Unknown Speaker #2

what do

0:31:24 Unknown Speaker #4

you think was

0:31:25 Unknown Speaker #6

so funny? Because I didn't get it being down here.

0:31:28 Unknown Speaker #2

You know, watching it,

0:31:30 Unknown Speaker #5

I finally understood that very poetic line from the bare, naked ladies on the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what you mean. You soon will die soon. Did uh uh okay,

0:31:43 Unknown Speaker #6

deconstruct the bare, naked ladies. I mean, there is some deep stuff.

0:31:47 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, absolutely. On

0:31:50 Unknown Speaker #2

it could be. China just tries to Chinese stricken, by the way. It's really good. If

0:31:54 Unknown Speaker #5

you have a drumstick, your brain stops tickin.

0:31:57 Unknown Speaker #2

It's been one week. Yeah,

0:32:00 Unknown Speaker #5

but so, yeah, everyone was kind of giggling at my funeral. And then, um, all of the eulogies were, I would say, terse and short. Um, and then I asked for a like a big New Orleans style like jazz band on. They got a middle school jazz band to come in new jasmine. Very new kids who, clearly socially like their parents, were like, We cannot figure you out. Maybe this will be the thing right. Um, so, uh,

0:32:32 Unknown Speaker #6

it's also a big class, so they can't really do. Just Jack. There was a guy with a steel drum.

0:32:36 Unknown Speaker #5

There was a steel drum in there. Yeah, there was an electric guitar. They played that green day song time of your life. But just the good riddance part they kept saying, This is this is great days, too. Good riddance. Uh, s so it was really tough to watch.

0:32:52 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, that's hard. That is, um yeah. I mean, I hated mine, too. I mean, ah, it would cut in and out, obviously with with, ah, mystical lyrics. Um, you know, at one point I was my mom was about to give a speech, and then I just heard

0:33:12 Unknown Speaker #2

put a wet towel under the door,

0:33:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Um, which I think is a song from, Ah, some something about smoking weed inside. You put a towel under the door hotels.

0:33:23 Unknown Speaker #1

The shocking thing was, this was this mystical was at your funeral.

0:33:29 Unknown Speaker #2

Down was Shaka. Yeah, it was crazy because I requested John Mayer to come and do a a Ah, instrumental. And this was

0:33:41 Unknown Speaker #6

in your will. You want to be your

0:33:44 Unknown Speaker #2

because I wanted to do.

0:33:45 Unknown Speaker #3

What? Ah, what?

0:33:46 Unknown Speaker #4

He,

0:33:47 Unknown Speaker #3

uh, MJ did Ah, and have John Mayer there.

0:33:53 Unknown Speaker #4

Juju.

0:33:56 Unknown Speaker #2

Uh um, I also mental. Yeah, I wanted him to play an instrument. All, um and, uh, yeah, I don't He didn't show, but Mr Cole was There

0:34:12 Unknown Speaker #5

was there was like, There's a long list. You go down when it's like, OK, we couldn't get John Mayer. Who's next? Uh, Ben Harper. But way.

0:34:22 Unknown Speaker #2

It's weird. If there was this long, Listen, at the very end, it said Is Pepsi

0:34:27 Unknown Speaker #4

okay? There was just a Pepsi there. It was a glass of Pepsi, and they had

0:34:36 Unknown Speaker #6

the Pepsi be the main speaker.

0:34:37 Unknown Speaker #2

Main speak. He said almost nothing.

0:34:39 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, well, he did said a lot. It's

0:34:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Luckily, he had some, uh, some, uh What's it called? Fizz left in him. So

0:34:49 Unknown Speaker #3

there was a little bit of noise.

0:34:50 Unknown Speaker #2

I hated the photo that

0:34:51 Unknown Speaker #3

would they chose there was next to my body. It was devastating.

0:34:55 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, that was what? That was you on a fishing trip, right?

0:34:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yes, you do. Yeah. You took

0:35:02 Unknown Speaker #4

in. That's one memory where that's the only one

0:35:04 Unknown Speaker #2

where I didn't catch a lot of fish. I catch so much you

0:35:09 Unknown Speaker #6

were holding up a boot on a string.

0:35:11 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, my God. It's my worst fishing trip. Just so everyone knows I'm a man and I catch a lot of fish. And I take pictures with them when I catch him, and I and I don't release him and keep him all. And then I freeze the meat and let it go bad in the freezer, and I throw it out. What's every five years? I'm saying your nasty

0:35:30 Unknown Speaker #5

you. What you'll do is you'll take. You'll take some pictures on that trip and you'll tag every friend on Facebook. Oh, my God. You'll take everyone and be like another four pounder. Yeah, not that big.

0:35:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, I tag everyone. And I also do, um, ads for skin creams e i du codes for sent skin on. All that's wrong for you and and I really I was hoping posthumously the skin cream company I

0:36:01 Unknown Speaker #3

work for ah would not have showed up to the funeral and made it

0:36:06 Unknown Speaker #2

a cell opportunity. Well, then, but boy did they

0:36:08 Unknown Speaker #1

ended up using the photo of you with the boot as an ad because I guess you were using the cream on that trip and your face didn't get wind

0:36:16 Unknown Speaker #3

burnt was using the cream. And it was not right.

0:36:22 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. You were using the cream for something a little more nefarious.

0:36:26 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah, your coffee. My coffee. Here I was bringing cream.

0:36:32 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh uh, face cream and my

0:36:35 Unknown Speaker #5

car away. Well, people will say, How do you take your coffee? Did you say two sugars and face cream? And

0:36:42 Unknown Speaker #3

they go What? And I say

0:36:43 Unknown Speaker #4

to shut on face

0:36:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Cravy. Yeah, and And if you ever have you had that served to you properly

0:36:53 Unknown Speaker #4

once, once at a keels that I had

0:36:59 Unknown Speaker #2

at gun point, where you went to

0:37:00 Unknown Speaker #5

the keels right next to the espresso at the Americana. And

0:37:04 Unknown Speaker #2

I busted a hole in the wall and I said, Give me both. Um and I I was there. David was there yet. DeVito is there. Why was he there? Well, he doesn't. Espresso adds. Oh, yeah. He

0:37:18 Unknown Speaker #5

goes to the store for some reason to pick up his

0:37:20 Unknown Speaker #2

residuals. Gets paid in espresso. Just part of his

0:37:25 Unknown Speaker #1

deal was I'll take Podd only. Yeah, Yeah.

0:37:27 Unknown Speaker #6

Uh, DeVito is only working for food these

0:37:30 Unknown Speaker #2

days. Think it's like I ally song with that will work for food time. I think a lot of

0:37:36 Unknown Speaker #1

celebrities, a lot of celebrities. They're going that direction these days.

0:37:39 Unknown Speaker #5

DeVito did Matilda for three burritos and ah, delicious steak

0:37:45 Unknown Speaker #2

and currency for the art.

0:37:47 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, and I also heard he did get a piece of that prop chocolate cake that that crazy fat kid is eat. Yeah,

0:37:54 Unknown Speaker #2

yeah. Oh, yeah. All showed a little little mount back The trench bulls down here, Theo Trench bulls here and will grab you at any moment by the top of your shirt and swing you around like a shot put and sling you So, Podd,

0:38:11 Unknown Speaker #5

it's trying to do is I'm just trying to read.

0:38:15 Unknown Speaker #2

That's our China Read. Uh, Sam, I thought

0:38:19 Unknown Speaker #1

your funeral actually honestly, of all of ours. Really? Ah, it felt like it hit all the beats of your life Pretty pretty well,

0:38:27 Unknown Speaker #2

really. It was really Yeah. That structure was there was a very well structured direction. I agree. My notes are

0:38:34 Unknown Speaker #5

on some of the other stuff, but structurally, you're where you need to be. Oh, it was

0:38:38 Unknown Speaker #1

It was It was a hilarious coincidence that the hearse crashed through the front of the church at the beginning because it felt so much like that, Sam. Well, he crashed through the front of the church in the her You

0:38:50 Unknown Speaker #5

were behind the wheel of the hearse, right? They did put your body behind the direct,

0:38:53 Unknown Speaker #2

and they said it was the closest

0:38:54 Unknown Speaker #6

I've ever been to not having an accident.

0:38:56 Unknown Speaker #2

You pretty gave the whole way. Pretty a better driver. Dead in a casket. Been alive. That's right.

0:39:02 Unknown Speaker #5

They said the only reason you crashed through because you came to life briefly.

0:39:05 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, I got controller, got

0:39:08 Unknown Speaker #5

nervous and crash and died again

0:39:10 Unknown Speaker #2

and died in the casket. Shut me right back. Yeah, it was tough. I will say stripe. Surely the funeral was perfect. Taste wise.

0:39:18 Unknown Speaker #6

It was a little lost. Yeah, right. The structure was

0:39:21 Unknown Speaker #2

good. Why would that? I mean, you have a famously bad taste, huh? Never mind. I feel like I'm pretty responsible right now.

0:39:31 Unknown Speaker #5

You're sitting in Egyptian queen garb? Uh,

0:39:35 Unknown Speaker #4

me. This is for me.

0:39:37 Unknown Speaker #2

It's It's You know, when you see something that

0:39:39 Unknown Speaker #6

you like, you take it. Uh,

0:39:42 Unknown Speaker #2

you stole that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Another thing. Another thing about hell. Um, when you pay for stuff you don't use

0:39:51 Unknown Speaker #3

money, you use wet money.

0:39:54 Unknown Speaker #2

You use wept. Money. That's right. It's the only thing that's accepted. It's like a visa. It's accepted everywhere. They still use money, but it has to be where every

0:40:04 Unknown Speaker #6

barista has a little bowl of water right next to the right next to the things you can dunk your cash, it is come prepared,

0:40:11 Unknown Speaker #1

I say, Sam, I'll also I thought it was very, uh, surprising how many people showed up to speak at your funeral because I think when you are Jack, well, I was going to say it almost read more like a sort of the sentencing hearing of, Ah, criminal where it

0:40:27 Unknown Speaker #1

saying all the terrible things that you had done to them and how they're glad you're dead and they wish they could do work.

0:40:27 Unknown Speaker #2

was people just

0:40:32 Unknown Speaker #2

And it definitely had the energy

0:40:34 Unknown Speaker #3

of an angry town hall. Everybody in the audience had been wrong. Then there was like, Why is this ditch here? There

0:40:40 Unknown Speaker #2

was some just straight up infrastructure questions. They were protesting that I was

0:40:44 Unknown Speaker #6

being buried in everybody's favorite park because that was in my will. I wanted to be buried in the happiest place in town.

0:40:51 Unknown Speaker #2

Right? You want to

0:40:52 Unknown Speaker #3

be floated in the fun pond in Central Park? That's

0:40:57 Unknown Speaker #6

right. Me. It's the boats, couples and my course. And

0:41:01 Unknown Speaker #2

you want that you want pedals. You directed your casket. I wanted to be a functioning, but I

0:41:07 Unknown Speaker #6

want them to install pedals between my knees so that somebody can ride me around the boat and have a romantic expected.

0:41:12 Unknown Speaker #5

Thing is, everyone thinks it's going to be cute. And then they pay a little too much and get bored quickly. They're like, they're peddling your ribs and they're like, How much longer do we want to do this?

0:41:22 Unknown Speaker #6

It's I'll tell you, it's not fun for me. So fucking bored out there. I'm dead on board.

0:41:26 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Yeah. Your corpses just floating around in that dirty water.

0:41:29 Unknown Speaker #2

My funeral was sad. You know, I thought I had,

0:41:32 Unknown Speaker #5

um not the good kind of sad. Not like everyone's morning you?

0:41:35 Unknown Speaker #2

No, no, no. They were happy. I

0:41:36 Unknown Speaker #5

was sad, like a bummer.

0:41:37 Unknown Speaker #6

I thought that I had helped out a lot of people. You know, I was a mental health professional at the school. You know what I mean, I was in the art world. It turns out you have scarred all those people. I guess so, Yeah. It was a lot of scarred faces from when I blew up the cafeteria that they were in, and they they came and said that, You know, they'll never forgive me, but they're happy and jovial that I'm dead. Yeah. And

0:41:58 Unknown Speaker #2

what they were there to kind

0:42:00 Unknown Speaker #3

of like your funeral was the last stop of them being healthy again.

0:42:07 Unknown Speaker #2

Finally got closure. A lot of 11

0:42:10 Unknown Speaker #1

One student even went as far as to say the big nightmare is

0:42:12 Unknown Speaker #3

over, right? It makes me really sad, right? And there was a huge thunderous applause, and I was like, that alone,

0:42:19 Unknown Speaker #4

We just walk on,

0:42:21 Unknown Speaker #3

you know, Uh oh, but that was on Earth. Never mind.

0:42:24 Unknown Speaker #1

But then it obviously my My funeral was honestly short. Uh, and I thought it was

0:42:31 Unknown Speaker #2

interesting. Quick, get us get a screeched to a homeless man. And they said we

0:42:37 Unknown Speaker #4

got another one.

0:42:38 Unknown Speaker #1

It seems like everyone there had had had the look of We've been through this before. We don't want to do this again. I had the same grave digger things time the big trucks, Big trucks, Big monster. Yeah, he dug my grave, Teoh. And

0:42:54 Unknown Speaker #2

that's just a man who

0:42:55 Unknown Speaker #3

owns that monster truck grave digger. And he's not very good at actually digging Graves.

0:42:59 Unknown Speaker #2

No, no, he didn't say he doesn't.

0:43:00 Unknown Speaker #6

He steps on the break and peels out until there's a hole in the ground from one of the big

0:43:03 Unknown Speaker #3

tires. Right? And it's just a circular hole. So when you put your casket, it's way above the ground.

0:43:08 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, well, this time my casket broken.

0:43:10 Unknown Speaker #2

How if I remember saying that it broke in half like the

0:43:14 Unknown Speaker #3

Titanic whenever some people hanging off the edge of it. And

0:43:17 Unknown Speaker #5

the violinist kept going. Yeah, he did. That was beautiful.

0:43:20 Unknown Speaker #2

That was Billy Zane

0:43:21 Unknown Speaker #6

came to your funeral and was furious, Which

0:43:23 Unknown Speaker #2

was nice

0:43:24 Unknown Speaker #1

of him. Yeah, but I What was

0:43:26 Unknown Speaker #4

he mad about?

0:43:27 Unknown Speaker #5

Uh, Leo was trying to date Kate Winslet. That's it. Showed up with a gun.

0:43:32 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, he got confused, I guess. Uh, I

0:43:36 Unknown Speaker #2

know the really an honor to Cabrio, not Jack now.

0:43:39 Unknown Speaker #3

And, um Rose, Leonardo DiCaprio was trying to date, so

0:43:44 Unknown Speaker #2

they played that

0:43:45 Unknown Speaker #3

out in real life is what you're saying those actors,

0:43:47 Unknown Speaker #6

I don't know what

0:43:48 Unknown Speaker #5

is happening, but it sounds like, Yeah, they played out real life. Titanic at Howard's funeral. Yeah, uh,

0:43:54 Unknown Speaker #2

says that clears based on his casket

0:43:57 Unknown Speaker #3

breaking in the whole of the grave directors truck time.

0:44:02 Unknown Speaker #6

Broken the opposite with the Titanic. Were the middle

0:44:04 Unknown Speaker #2

sunk thing like, this is just like Titanic. Billy Zane should show. All right, Okay. So any time,

0:44:11 Unknown Speaker #3

anything break. Sort of like the Titanic, the rial actors Leo, Kate and Billy show up and fight.

0:44:18 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, we're just tough because, you know, in high school, when you get like a pencil when kids play with the pencil and they put it between their middle finger, other fingers and slammed against ableto half, they're gonna show up every time that happens.

0:44:28 Unknown Speaker #6

They showed up to Max in that C k Y video, and someone broke their skateboarding. And

0:44:33 Unknown Speaker #4

then

0:44:35 Unknown Speaker #5

yeah, it's a tough contract. It was before they were super big. So it's

0:44:39 Unknown Speaker #2

a contractual obligation. You know how

0:44:40 Unknown Speaker #3

I you like to eat mozzarella sticks, right? Break them down the middle and string out

0:44:44 Unknown Speaker #2

the cheese. What? Guess who showed up at BJ's pizzeria the other day? Kate Belizean. No, Billy. Yes.

0:44:55 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, beaches are the same in hell.

0:45:00 Unknown Speaker #2

Same possess keys. Everybody loves thick pizza down here. Yeah,

0:45:06 Unknown Speaker #5

uh, yes, sir. Quickest funeral ever. How

0:45:09 Unknown Speaker #1

long? Genesis. There it was. Verified six seconds long. Eyes

0:45:14 Unknown Speaker #2

that even buzz wagon people get in and leaving. The airlift dropped. The casket cracked over.

0:45:20 Unknown Speaker #1

It was sort of pre gamed. The whole thing was sort of set up as, like, a sort of Rube Goldberg situation where Grave Digger was there. He dug the grave. He stood. He was on standby with a shovel. Helicopter,

0:45:31 Unknown Speaker #2

whatever. It was a roof over situation,

0:45:33 Unknown Speaker #1

but he was not there. No, Rube Goldberg called it in.

0:45:37 Unknown Speaker #5

You won't work on the Sabbath.

0:45:38 Unknown Speaker #2

And they did this in an arena in an arena

0:45:41 Unknown Speaker #6

with a big dirt field in the middle. Eight?

0:45:42 Unknown Speaker #1

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it was the wherever the Mets play. Oh,

0:45:47 Unknown Speaker #3

I see.

0:45:48 Unknown Speaker #5

Way all got buried in New York? Uh, very central park.

0:45:53 Unknown Speaker #6

Wait. A couple of us got buried.

0:45:57 Unknown Speaker #2

Stadium. I'm underneath,

0:45:59 Unknown Speaker #3

Theo. The album pond in in Port Authority, bus station.

0:46:07 Unknown Speaker #5

And I am technically in New York. I'm in Los Angeles underneath the set of Seinfeld. But you

0:46:16 Unknown Speaker #2

and I mean that is

0:46:18 Unknown Speaker #6

Coney. Coney Island. I'm buried under Nathan's. Just when is that the hot dog place? No, Nathan's house. Just a little blame. Yeah, the lady who I think is a little boy.

0:46:31 Unknown Speaker #2

So that's a man. Are you sure? Yeah. That's a grown ass man. Why does he play all those characters with high voices? Unsure voice. He's just a smaller man with

0:46:40 Unknown Speaker #3

it with a very cool, interesting character. E voice.

0:46:43 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay,

0:46:44 Unknown Speaker #5

so it's almost a ridiculous for us

0:46:48 Unknown Speaker #2

choosing it. Yeah. Part of community. Oh, yeah. I think after

0:46:52 Unknown Speaker #5

Birdcage came out of her was like, Oh, Nathan Lee has ridiculous place. Any kind of like was like, Oh, now do I have to announce it on talk shows? It's tough that we had to define him that way just cause he played a ridiculous voice. Carry? Yeah. You know, you could be whatever he wants. I

0:47:06 Unknown Speaker #6

don't care. Absolutely. I don't care. And he can do it.

0:47:10 Unknown Speaker #5

Everyone okay? And I bring it up every time I see him.

0:47:13 Unknown Speaker #2

Who gives a shit about your sexuality? Nobody gives a shit such robe mean point. Ah, yeah.

0:47:24 Unknown Speaker #5

Uh But, uh what think that I've really enjoyed about hell is I got to actually talk to the devil about my play, my conversations with the devil.

0:47:34 Unknown Speaker #2

Wow. Oh, that's right. And he said he was. He's never

0:47:39 Unknown Speaker #3

disagreed more with source material.

0:47:41 Unknown Speaker #5

That's right. Yeah. He said I don't usually disagree with source material I usually have. Like, um, emotional opinion of it is that I disagreed with the way I was portrayed.

0:47:51 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, don't you think he

0:47:52 Unknown Speaker #6

was a little upset that he was passed over for the role? Like, I think you could have just been a little bit of selfishness from the devil?

0:47:58 Unknown Speaker #5

That's what I suggested. I said, listen, Bills book, you're making this about yourself. Uh, of course.

0:48:05 Unknown Speaker #1

We all call him Beals about

0:48:06 Unknown Speaker #5

bills about Bill. The only thing you're going t o z z z lz, Debbie plz hills oub. But I like Are you sure you're not just jealous? I didn't give you the part because I'm a better actor than you. And then he was like, hold the phone, right. You're better actor than me. Hey, always says hope. Pull the phone stopped the presses

0:48:33 Unknown Speaker #2

doesn't like it's new and you'll go, Yeah, and you'll go as if way were arguing.

0:48:39 Unknown Speaker #5

And I'm like, Look, I have a better actor than you and he said, OK, talk to the hand.

0:48:43 Unknown Speaker #4

I think the

0:48:44 Unknown Speaker #6

only movie the devil's ever seen is clueless.

0:48:46 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, absolutely. He always is talking about

0:48:49 Unknown Speaker #1

rolling with his homies. That's yeah, and And that everywhere is 20 minutes. He keeps saying, Everywhere, Everywhere. It takes 20 minutes to get everywhere,

0:48:59 Unknown Speaker #2

which is not true in hell. Lots of traffic.

0:49:03 Unknown Speaker #5

Hell is. Yeah, there's traffic. I I'll turn to someone in hell sometimes. And I'll say, Is this hell are we on the 405 at 5 p.m.

0:49:12 Unknown Speaker #2

It's so hard today. Everybody says that That's the number one

0:49:14 Unknown Speaker #3

used phrase in hell.

0:49:16 Unknown Speaker #6

Yeah, it's on every. There's magnets of it. It's a big phrase. It's very popular. It's it's often it up on her.

0:49:22 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, for the most popular phrase on earth, I'm loving

0:49:26 Unknown Speaker #6

Podd Is this trafficker Hell,

0:49:29 Unknown Speaker #5

so it's on. It's our one of our funny clever shirts actually is drafting or how question Mark. Yeah, but so that we got no when I got into an act off. Um uh Ah and that was, you know?

0:49:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. And that was It was like a

0:49:46 Unknown Speaker #5

step up. Two the streets dance off thing, But we were doing monologues.

0:49:50 Unknown Speaker #6

Both popped on black turtlenecks

0:49:51 Unknown Speaker #5

pumped up by Telmex and people, Uh, just kind of absolutism, But people were gathered around and started leaving. It wasn't like

0:49:59 Unknown Speaker #2

I stayed. I got there a little early. There was the 1st 20 minutes was just you to exploring the space. Yeah, Yeah,

0:50:06 Unknown Speaker #5

really feeling it out. You know, there was a while where I was just I was exploring what my characters lead with. Do I lead with my head, right? Ah, Chester lead with my sex. Which one is it? You know, and I was about 15 minutes walk. And

0:50:22 Unknown Speaker #1

then there was a five minute Ah, warning about how this show uses effects that could cause flare ups in your epilepsy and uses. Uh, yeah, optical effects That could cause right.

0:50:34 Unknown Speaker #6

Well, my distract from the acting. Yes,

0:50:37 Unknown Speaker #5

my shows have distractions that have killed somebody. Then there was the 10 minute diabetes warning.

0:50:45 Unknown Speaker #4

And how did that play

0:50:46 Unknown Speaker #3

out of diabetes? Warning. Like,

0:50:48 Unknown Speaker #2

Are you saying you're just confessing toe having it? Oh,

0:50:52 Unknown Speaker #5

are are morning people that I have diabetes and that a lot of watching me act requires spikes in blood sugar

0:50:59 Unknown Speaker #6

when you have the first case of of contagious diseases. Diabetes? Uh, were I a Wheaties where we can all get

0:51:14 Unknown Speaker #2

so you. But you want the people watching You have diabetes?

0:51:17 Unknown Speaker #5

I don't want to. I'm warning them that it's gonna happen

0:51:19 Unknown Speaker #2

possible. Nobody in Laramie

0:51:21 Unknown Speaker #6

just spread tuberculosis, but you gotta spit in the street.

0:51:26 Unknown Speaker #5

So? So we've got 20. It's exploring space. Five minutes left awarding 10 minute diabetes warning 30 minute jokes about Don't unwrap your Candies. Don't turn them cellphones. Turn off your pagers. And by the way, if you get a pager, you better be a doctor. It's 28 team.

0:51:42 Unknown Speaker #6

After this long preamble, you guys had to re explore the space a little

0:51:46 Unknown Speaker #2

way, have lost our connection to this really quickly. You your you submit for for jokes. Um, you write

0:51:59 Unknown Speaker #3

jokes for, uh, uh, spiels at the top of show. Your pager joke was from one of your

0:52:11 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, they're packets. That's from my packet. Yeah, if you read my package, you recognize a pager joke? You'll probably recognize no flash photography. It scares the actors. Ah, a

0:52:21 Unknown Speaker #6

couple jokes for the jungle cruise at Disney, right? Yeah. Being on a track.

0:52:25 Unknown Speaker #5

Ah, yeah. A lot of those jokes they said were too insensitive for the fifties version of They were like this wouldn't have flown when we started this rise.

0:52:36 Unknown Speaker #2

It's already? Yeah. Little subtypes. You get a little Were.

0:52:40 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, I wrote all the jokes for the tiki room for any of the Hispanic characters in there, Uh,

0:52:45 Unknown Speaker #2

you were

0:52:46 Unknown Speaker #3

submitting for people that are not your nationality.

0:52:49 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Yeah. So I do a lot of that somewhere else. Do you hear this?

0:52:53 Unknown Speaker #2

And then you you write for Louise. Real life. I write for

0:52:56 Unknown Speaker #5

Luke. I wrote all lose comeback. Ignoring the truth. Stand up. Special. Eso you any of his big Everything's fine. Special. I I wrote all the jokes for that. Um, I was the one that said, do material about dating waitresses we want to hear about it. Uh,

0:53:13 Unknown Speaker #1

you were adamant that it's a good idea.

0:53:15 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Yeah, Well, yeah, I think I said this before, but when all that happened, I e mailed Dave, Becky and I said, you're my guy. Uh You know what? The way you intimidated victims, that this is a guy that I want to side with you on. And so he introduced me to Louis, and we're on the monsters of humanity

0:53:34 Unknown Speaker #2

tour together. Who else is on the door? It's you ruin its us Roseanne. What? What? Also

0:53:48 Unknown Speaker #1

the president of the Venezuela who's been like

0:53:52 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever. I won't know that guy's name. Um I've tried to figure who else We hate these

0:54:00 Unknown Speaker #1

data. TERT a The guy. The little dictator who's killing people. Owner

0:54:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Clippers, right. The last owners the Clipper. Sterling's got a great our star. He's got a great and he doesn't mind

0:54:13 Unknown Speaker #6

who comes to the show's. Yeah, here comes the shows. As long as you're not with

0:54:17 Unknown Speaker #5

the eyes were not with them. Yeah, I think it's called slumlord in it, uh, is special. You could actually check out my packet online. I post all of my auditions and packets on YouTube, and I don't make him private, so

0:54:32 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, you always put

0:54:34 Unknown Speaker #3

out your unpolished material quickly. Yeah, and let people know you're working on, so

0:54:39 Unknown Speaker #5

yeah, I do. Because if people don't know that you are bad. They never know that you could get good. All right, So if you want to see my tax little top lit blown out in front of a white wall doing some of my material, check it out.

0:54:52 Unknown Speaker #2

And I'm posting

0:54:52 Unknown Speaker #3

all of my open mike stuff that I've been doing.

0:54:56 Unknown Speaker #1

But it's also very cool. Interesting to me that hell

0:54:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Hell is

0:54:59 Unknown Speaker #1

basically just like a crappy version of Earth. All the things that exist up there exists down here. Like I was surprised to see that YouTube exists down here.

0:55:07 Unknown Speaker #2

Always started here. Got its start here. Yeah, Hellis kind of Ah, incubator A tech incubator. This was sort of the first.

0:55:16 Unknown Speaker #5

It's hot enough to be an incubator

0:55:18 Unknown Speaker #2

at ST. That's another

0:55:19 Unknown Speaker #3

running from your in your pack.

0:55:20 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, yeah. I did a packet for the hell orientation. All those jokes were made. Um, yeah. Uh, what

0:55:27 Unknown Speaker #6

monologue? Not we got a little carried away with you Write jokes? For what?

0:55:27 Unknown Speaker #4

was your

0:55:32 Unknown Speaker #2

About you in the devil's actor. Oh, yeah. We should

0:55:35 Unknown Speaker #5

go back to that. Uh, no, I I I did a monologue. I didn't like what I would say. A compilation of my favorite monologue, It's called. Ah, it's a little piece I put together called famous women of Theatre, Cinema and Television on its me punching up some famous historical stuff. You know, I do, Lady Macbeth, The way I think it should be done. Uh,

0:56:04 Unknown Speaker #2

you are not

0:56:05 Unknown Speaker #3

of the victim here. You can't punch punch up audio punching up like that. I see.

0:56:11 Unknown Speaker #5

No, no

0:56:12 Unknown Speaker #6

fixing their okay material.

0:56:15 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, Yeah. Punching up like you would dio writer's room For what I write. My packets. Never really got picked up work. Can't put in the room. But I was in the writer's room. You would like, punch up a joke.

0:56:25 Unknown Speaker #6

You, like, sneak into a writer's room, unwanted or something?

0:56:28 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What I've never done, I wo I

0:56:32 Unknown Speaker #2

mean, what we did sneak into

0:56:33 Unknown Speaker #3

Chicago fires writer room that one time

0:56:36 Unknown Speaker #1

there. Writer room. There was

0:56:39 Unknown Speaker #2

a man on fire fire hydrant. That's what that shows so visceral. It's ah, Fire hydrant is writing Chicago Fire. Yeah, it

0:56:47 Unknown Speaker #5

is turning out great material, but so we went in and we pitched some some other spinoffs. Chicago Sanitation.

0:56:53 Unknown Speaker #2

Chicago sanitation is a There was some interest

0:56:56 Unknown Speaker #3

by the fire hydrant in Chicago. Sensation is just like Chicago fire, except the characters are disgusting. Chicago Kitchen, Kitchen

0:57:04 Unknown Speaker #5

Kitchen, Chicago, Chicago Pizza Kitchen. Hey, deeper, deeper, deeper dish. Deeper, more cheese. Yes. Um, uh, What are other job job

0:57:17 Unknown Speaker #3

besides that cartooning ones you have where you want when you're a child.

0:57:21 Unknown Speaker #5

Chicago dog. Chicago dog catchers is pretty good.

0:57:24 Unknown Speaker #6

Yes, which not what you think it is. It's about guys chasing down down stolen hot dogs.

0:57:29 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay, I thought there was. This is the spinoff about the show that is called, uh, uh, Charles the dogcatcher. And he's trying to catch dog the bounty hunter

0:57:43 Unknown Speaker #2

that Yes, it is hot on dock. Stan is

0:57:46 Unknown Speaker #5

a bounty hunter that someone hired to catch dog. Um, and so you can see, in the background of some of the doctor bounty hunter episode,

0:57:56 Unknown Speaker #2

we'll miss really

0:57:56 Unknown Speaker #6

blows open the whole dog. The bounty hunter thing. They

0:57:59 Unknown Speaker #2

found out he's got no license. No, he's not being asked to do this murder when he just looks like Hulk Hogan and feels like busting bad guys. And he is he It just happens to look like he's trying to catch someone, but he's just escaping from Charles. It all gets well.

0:58:13 Unknown Speaker #5

And the craziest thing is the extra show with Scott Baio in charge of Charles, which is a man who, uh, who is like Charles is kind of his like, adopted son. And he is. It is responsible for him, and he always loses him, and he's got to find them and being tried to trial so he'll be in the background. It's cover a Charles

0:58:34 Unknown Speaker #1

Russian doll shows.

0:58:36 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean, it's it's a fantastic Tuesday

0:58:39 Unknown Speaker #3

lineup here in hell on CBS.

0:58:41 Unknown Speaker #5

That's right, right? Right before that, you can catch bail watch, which is David Hasselhoff following a He's got a sure he's what he's baby sitting. Scott, who is in charge of Charles, was bounty hunting dog.

0:58:59 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, and then you can watch watch what happens, Lyle? Which is, which is also about Lyle Lovett watching? Yes. So it's all the shows running, someone saying to Lyle Lovett, watching easily

0:59:19 Unknown Speaker #5

distracted. And so he keeps looking around. It's someone tapping him on the arm ago while watch what happens. Uh, because he's got looking around like, How did I blow it with Julia? Roberts

0:59:31 Unknown Speaker #2

is just so you live in a Levi's looking

0:59:33 Unknown Speaker #1

in a mirror and seeing the reason staring him right back in the

0:59:35 Unknown Speaker #2

face have been the way I look at him. But just so everyone knows we're having we're having

0:59:42 Unknown Speaker #3

a terrible time down here. And

0:59:45 Unknown Speaker #4

I'm constantly

0:59:46 Unknown Speaker #3

going around and looking for the door out, like on, um,

0:59:48 Unknown Speaker #2

wealthy, trimming way. Keep driving little dinghies out.

0:59:52 Unknown Speaker #1

We should say we did buy tickets for the salience line, but it backed up the fact that I mean, it looks like like Splash Mountain middle of the summer.

1:00:00 Unknown Speaker #2

I bought tickets to us. You guys sent

1:00:06 Unknown Speaker #3

me down to the Teoh Madison. Uh, TS stand on. And there was a guy off to the side,

1:00:17 Unknown Speaker #2

phony. I got ponies. Yeah, I take it said the we got to the front of the line with the solonius. Yeah, I get I thought the special sauce. No, the special cells went to heaven and g love what to help, You know, all know rumors about the central special sauce. It's just 1000 island. They went to heaven. And she loves down here playing

1:00:35 Unknown Speaker #3

by himself. And let's just say it doesn't feel the room with an acoustic guitar.

1:00:40 Unknown Speaker #5

Now. Yeah, he's tried some other stuff. You did you love and spicy mustard? 11 serrata. It's just not with good. You

1:00:48 Unknown Speaker #2

gotta have the special way Protected. She's de lovely now, is you? And they were wet. Yeah, well, she running south, but those So then we tried fastpass. But even the fastpass

1:01:02 Unknown Speaker #5

line is long. It's like, what? What

1:01:03 Unknown Speaker #2

am I paying? You gotta think we

1:01:05 Unknown Speaker #1

got we got billions of people down here all trying to get back up there to earth. Ah, and and so I mean, I think we're trying to figure it out. We don't want to be in hell forever. You know, we feel like we have a lot of unfinished business up there on Earth.

1:01:18 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, yesterday I grabbed FDR, and I was like, my friend, my friend should get to the front of the line here for a

1:01:25 Unknown Speaker #2

while. Yeah, It showed up in old timey Will shares

1:01:29 Unknown Speaker #1

with let blankets are furry about of his his and I rolled up there by myself, which was not necessary. No, didn t

1:01:36 Unknown Speaker #2

know. We all just had

1:01:37 Unknown Speaker #5

wheelchairs and blink. Yeah, I got was more of a beef. You got what? Christopher. Of

1:01:41 Unknown Speaker #1

do. You kept

1:01:41 Unknown Speaker #4

course I

1:01:43 Unknown Speaker #3

saying I side with the horse.

1:01:46 Unknown Speaker #2

Who's the Superman now? You said show

1:01:50 Unknown Speaker #5

them your side with horses.

1:01:51 Unknown Speaker #2

And I saw the way he treated that horse. No, I mean writing. Yes, you're probably is. Foot kicked the horse all the way that we don't have. We

1:02:01 Unknown Speaker #1

as human beings don't have the right to try to control the way other animals act. Okay, you can't tame a wild beast. And the fact that people think that they can sit on the back of those horses and ride him around and kick him and make him go faster teaching had a day

1:02:14 Unknown Speaker #2

off those horses. Bullshit. I think

1:02:16 Unknown Speaker #5

this is all, like, part of your ploy. You're trying to get people to ride you around. You were like they say if you could ride a horse, you could ride a man. And you did that bad uber for humans

1:02:26 Unknown Speaker #1

and that that I have take a fence to you calling that bad, I take severe offense. Really? Yes. I thought it went well for the few times that

1:02:34 Unknown Speaker #5

I thought it was terrible. Any sort Hugh Hormone, Horman, Horman, which also bad out It's part horse, part

1:02:42 Unknown Speaker #1

man. I was a whore. Minutes

1:02:44 Unknown Speaker #2

said towards say so. That

1:02:46 Unknown Speaker #1

implies mint. There's, like a mythological purpose here.

1:02:49 Unknown Speaker #2

You Mormon guy. No. Horman you to give me a rimmed jab. And you

1:02:55 Unknown Speaker #4

showed up. Try to give me a ride. I was like, I don't want that.

1:02:58 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Oh, this is this is horsemen, not men who are horror.

1:03:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Another rim job. Mix up.

1:03:05 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. What was the other one? Someone came in. Fixture. Basketball hoop?

1:03:08 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. And then exhibit showed up and pimped my ride and put

1:03:13 Unknown Speaker #3

rims on it. And I just I was full spread ass out in the front yard.

1:03:18 Unknown Speaker #5

The craziest one was

1:03:25 Unknown Speaker #2

while I'm waiting for your face down No waist down, towel over my head. Nobody knows me. I'm anonymous. You're It's you on your front lawn. Nobody knows who I am. I'm wearing my family also, you have your name written on the bottom of your shoes. I don't want to lose my shoes mass spread in my front yard and nobody knows where it is Beautiful. Also,

1:03:52 Unknown Speaker #1

I don't know mean to remind you, but one night you got drunk and you got bills whole tattooed on your butt.

1:03:58 Unknown Speaker #2

No, so. Oh, I thought that said billfold. I was trying to get some time of wallet, but

1:04:05 Unknown Speaker #4

I was trying to do

1:04:06 Unknown Speaker #2

a wallet. It is. It isn't.

1:04:09 Unknown Speaker #1

You're right. You're over your right. But cheek where I assume your wallet does sit when you're wearing jeans.

1:04:14 Unknown Speaker #2

Your name is Bill? Yeah, it was in the

1:04:16 Unknown Speaker #3

slammer. It was very clever, but I got around.

1:04:19 Unknown Speaker #5

But instead, it just just out to you when you're trying to get a private.

1:04:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Was an earthquake a tattoo parlor? It

1:04:26 Unknown Speaker #5

was isolated to just the tattoo parlor.

1:04:29 Unknown Speaker #2

That's well, I told you. But you wait. Yeah, you should have seen, uh hey, grow got shook around. And me, Dave Grow and Carmen lectures husband Dave Navarro Navarro That so I was like you in the Dave's, me and the three days James Croll, Dave Girl tomorrow and the guy from Wendy's. Thomas. Dave, dammit, Forget that dizzy, but a spot earthquake. Anyway, we're trying to get the hell out of here.

1:04:58 Unknown Speaker #4

You should put that in your back. It

1:05:00 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, try to get the hell out of here. Good. I'm going to steal that joke,

1:05:04 Unknown Speaker #2

you know? No problem. Trains Dane comic.

1:05:08 Unknown Speaker #1

We are going to try Where? I mean, our goal here is to get out of hell. Yeah. However, whatever means necessary mean we don't know exactly what the the protocol is, but

1:05:17 Unknown Speaker #5

if anyone knows where the door to hell is tweet at us, a teacher's lounge underscore hell, underscore Twitter Underscore.

1:05:26 Unknown Speaker #6

Hell underscore. Too long

1:05:30 Unknown Speaker #5

to is spelt t o.

1:05:32 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah. I mean, we'll see what happens. We're keeping our hopes were still plugging away, were resigned to the fact that maybe this is our new normal Hell is our new normal, but hopefully not will hopefully get back up there and costs, um, costume Hell on earth, if you know

1:05:50 Unknown Speaker #5

e, you were gonna say the same thing. Yeah, unearth. It feels like it's already hell up there so that I don't know why we want

1:05:58 Unknown Speaker #3

to get back

1:05:59 Unknown Speaker #5

at the global. Warming is happening up

1:06:01 Unknown Speaker #2

there is different, but not that much. Did.

1:06:04 Unknown Speaker #5

is hard out there that it isn't Hell, yeah.

1:06:04 Unknown Speaker #1

It is it

1:06:08 Unknown Speaker #4

You stay down.

1:06:09 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. I didn't see more ice caps down here

1:06:11 Unknown Speaker #3

for kind of love.

1:06:13 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, that's right. If you go to the hat store, they give you an ice cap. Uh, so you're walking around with a stylish hat, but you're freezing cold all the time.

1:06:21 Unknown Speaker #6

What a good business model. I mean, I'm going back in there every goddamn day After my hat melts,

1:06:26 Unknown Speaker #5

It melts so fast in

1:06:27 Unknown Speaker #3

hell, polar bear on it to

1:06:29 Unknown Speaker #1

weigh. Appreciate Everybody's with us on this journey. I mean, hell, hell was unexpected, but we're trying to make the best of it. It's

1:06:37 Unknown Speaker #2

supposed card. Yeah. If you can send us a postcard

1:06:40 Unknown Speaker #1

down here, just label it. The teachers at Hale,

1:06:43 Unknown Speaker #2

you might have stayed a 1600 pits,

1:06:45 Unknown Speaker #3

but any avenue and it'll get here.

1:06:46 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, that's where that's the epicenter. Hell, it seems like these days I

1:06:51 Unknown Speaker #6

noticed some similarities between the red guy in the orange guy.

1:06:54 Unknown Speaker #2

Todd?

1:06:56 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Why bother with crazy hair?

1:06:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, and a little pokey tail

1:07:01 Unknown Speaker #5

Direct. I hosted a reality show down here. He said you fired,

1:07:06 Unknown Speaker #1

but he just burns people Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode of the teacher's lounge. Uh, we'll do our best to keep it positive on. We'll see you next week. So until then Hey, Flippy