Monsters of Humanity Tour

surprisingly good temperature. And here, I think, Yeah, it's warm. Ah, I like it like this. I honestly Yes. No, me. I'm a sweater and I like sweating.

You have No You would

like it to be cool if you are a sweater.

No, no, no. Because I like the feeling I like the leg that, like, sort of slippy sliding feeling coming.

Then you should say you're cold natured, you get cold. So you like it to be hot.

I But I think I'm warm Nature. I moved towards nature. I'm like a warm or cold blooded animal. I like to be in a temperate. I like to be in the temperature. I like to feel so I like to be in the heat.

Well, I mean, your bed,

your bed is uncomfortable. Kind of like a Terreri. Um,

yeah,

Well, well, I was so it was so nice when they

said the terrarium comparison is 100% accurate.

Yeah. All right. Well, you guys rockets the lizard because you like her side of the soft and your side to

be rocks and a cactus. Yeah, I wish there was a her side right now. It's all it's all him side. Ah, it's all years. Yeah. No, I haven't needed a heat lamp. You guys, do you guys know my old place? Ah, put on Earth. Uh, I had a nice little heat lamp, but down here, on the minimum anymore. And I'm just, you know, honestly, and I'm loving the food that they've been giving me that fresh lettuce is so good. Oh, yeah, honestly, it's so good. It's so crisp. It's watery. It keeps me hydrated. I'm honestly

Are you okay, though? Cause I noticed you haven't been eating your crickets, huh?

Jumping away from

me. I'm not quick enough. I'll get there, though. I will get there where the cricket eating will be possible. Well, yeah. I mean,

you do

have a elongated neck that is able to eat things whole and slowly push them

down, right? Yeah. You know, I think a very quick evolution, you could say came down here, started eaten, eating things that reptiles eat. And I started to sort of feel more like a reptile. Look more like a reptile. My Dave

offering a women here. Apples from a tree

Also, You've been crazy about Budweiser. Levi's.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. me. I you know, I met those two guys I met those other two guys Ice. Yeah, well, there's other two frogs, Uh, and we've just been having a blast with, but But I'm the bud there. The wise there, there. Uh, So you guys have been

touring around doing that commercial? Yeah. Like, area is an act.

Yeah. Yeah. You And to to,

uh, bullfrogs to bullfrogs are on the road in hell,

Which is where we are. Yeah, let's right at me. But light Wait, I think I I'm saying it. I mean, I know it was hard to say it first. Where in How

I had the same thing after my third divorce. I couldn't say I was divorced for a long time, and it was a huge You didn't. Ah, personal thing when I finally said it and finally left the house.

That must same for May, with you guys to be in hell. I mean, because I'm not, you know, uh, I'm not there. Rail line.

Well, you're in denial, Sam.

It's the first

time. And I don't mean the

river. No, no, you don't Ideo. He's not Cleopatra.

Well, then why am I dressed like this.

Well, that's why my just so where they were in the mile, you're playing out the joke in denial. While you're in actual deny. It's weird. It's weird disrespect. I know who I am. It's I'm Cleopatra, and I'm leaving in the Nile. Listen, you need

to go to the hell therapist and get to buy breakthrough. Because we had it. I had it on Earth with ridiculous divorce was

just Matt a choice. And then he had it with his divorce on Earth. And now we've had it in hell.

Where in hell we've we've accepted it. And you are dragging your feet dressed like Cleopatra.

Okay,

you are. You know, and look, I think the first step to just sort of coming to terms with being inhale guys is to get back to what we know best, which is getting behind the mikes and recording a podcast. So I think there I think we need to do it. I think we need to dismiss.

There are bikes and hell

there are. Well,

the women were sitting in front of what?

There's a lot of open

mikes in hell there. So

there's a lot of Mike's hot mikes open. My

Oh, yeah, you gotta Every anywhere you go in hell, you have to go through at least three open Mike.

It's weird. They're sort of back door to pull your name out of a hat and get some time. You don't have to

just doth walk through them. You have to perform

cold packs there back then, by the time you go up there empty and it's devastating because of these air, not venues that

are good for comedies are busy Coffee shop,

disease starts, side street, busy side streets. Yeah, health funerals, healthy girls. You have to go back. You have to do five, and and and you don't you don't get a ton

of time to prepare your here. Your A lot of times you're surprised with your booking.

I went up the cry factory the other night, and it was

that for people that don't know that is the Cheesecake Factory in hell.

Yes, menus huge.

And it's devastating there, playing all your worst moments from Earth, while people in all white, dirty, dirty, all white

or dirty white serve you hellish night.

Same menu saying

menu. The avocado egg rolls they do give you an order of avocado egg rolls. If you're going up, we ask. That is very right before you go right before you go stuffed. And I had to follow Dane Cook. And how?

And that is the chef. Yes, Yes. Dane. Comma cook. Yes. Yes. You know you're not

the famous, you

know. He's still alive and well on earth. He's not out here. No,

he's a demon, right? Dane Comic believe so? Yes. Yeah,

Well, his devil's food cake is going well.

Look, you got super that, you know, showed up in sooth person. We thought when we were in denial was Jesus way first got there. We learned that Satan

were crazy about Hello. Satan is litigious

denial. I thought that was Tutankhamen. Who is that again? Student Common

is an old pharaoh that I use

also known as King Tut.

00 I see.

Martin did a send up of him.

What? Its end up,

huh? You know that Steve Martin thing pissed me off? Not very a little

apprised. Uh, what's up? He went. What's up?

That's too small.

This is a big stop.

As on earth, so is inhale is what I'll say. So you do that smoother as on Earth. So it is in hell. You're

cutting off the circulation to your face. You have

Teoh. Maybe it's cause your hair has gotten so long. It's tighter.

It's not. That's not the problem, guys. Uh, cranial swelling. Listen, I know that

eating a lot of salt.

I'm not eating a lot of guys. I'm only eating well. Let big glasses. Guys, I know this equipment looks new, and you're probably all thinking, you know, we got it under control, but, uh, we've been recording.

Ah,

just another layer.

I thought I thought for sure that I would have it this this time around.

You think this after life you would be crystal clear and not making the same mistakes? The problem isn't how I think they

set me up for failure here. I think they made they. The buttons aren't labeled right,

because we're in hell. I didn't think

waiting in the Nile could get any worse. Could get any worse.

Not in the Nile. You are in denial.

You are in during the first stage of grief, you get my golden hair. You told him hitless and you went to

the costume store, which are there so many costume stores down here,

there's every costume is running this and they're mislabeled. Sometimes you're like trying to get a bite to eat. And when you walk in

there like tricked all wigs and sketch customs.

Dammit, I

ordered a hamburger from one the other day and it was a bun with a sexy nurse costume in between. The two buns was

See, now that's crazy because they're sort of they're really going for that trip. Israel, but not what I said. It's too crazy. That is crazy.

But anyway, guys, we're recording this old time, so

I mean, you can't blame

it on on the This is top quality Mike's and recording devices. We are across the what? Well, we were at hell's orientation.

Yeah, well, I mean, before we get into it, I think we should remind people that you are listening to the teachers lounge. This used to be the podcast. That was for, uh, first issues pertaining. Teoh said, Who cares? Because we're in hell now on. Things have jammed.

Have you guys stopped caring about everything? I've never been morning. Yeah. You would think that

you would fully give up. But there's something about this air down here that increases your anxiety. Uh, really makes you stress. Uh,

you've always feel

late down here is an interesting

Yeah, the thing is, on Earth I always was late, but I didn't care. And now I always feel late. No matter what

you were here.

I think that there's there's weird magic at play because I've been I've walked into places looking at my watch, and it says, I got five minutes ago. I walked through the door in that hand, jumps 15 minutes into the future, and

everybody's looking at you all hoping their risk. I've noticed up being in the Nile for the first time. I care about stuff, and it's really

affecting how I feel. It's

really making me unhappy. Usually, I used

to go through life, do whatever I wanted and not really react to the world around me, but, uh, devastated that who I am.

Uh, well, we should do a quick intro. The Teacher's Lounge. Ah, if you're listening for the first time ever, Way did. Ah, seven seasons on Earth and now we're in hell. We were murdered by the lunatic in the white house

in front of the school book depository. Uh, he buried us eight feet underground. I

realized this when that was happening, but it was a lot of it was a lot like JFK's assassination. I did not realize after seeing the video, they were very similar. There's a print. Our Zapruder film is. Putin

is a Pooter Pooter

film, which is what they're calling it. Um, is and

we were getting

our own museum, right? Yeah. Dallas?

Yeah. They're putting up a museum that's in what's the opposite of in memoriam?

Yeah, it's celebrating the killer. Yeah, it's for

the lunatic in the White House. It's It's his memorabilia. And just a small a picture of us.

It's gonna be more like a presidential library. Yeah,

a lot of scholarly books about like that. They invented a word for a feeling Joy at the death of somebody. Um uh, it's like a German ish word.

Yeah. Heil. Hi, Ari Hyo. All right,

um, but we're unfortunately in hell now we're recording out of that. We work in hell.

Yes! Yeah, yeah. We walked across the street. We blew off the orientation. That shit was boring. Was leading that McCain e. I think that

was McCain. Once again, I don't like listening.

I also don't like that he started going by his last name.

No, he is. It's like the whole bad boy style is doing really

lead into the maverick thing. It's like as on Earth. So in hell Pain. We were surprised to see you in hell, McCain And he said, I'm not, but yeah, and he But he also leads that in that orientation with, like, way to much energy and way more important than anyone. That's a part of it. Feels like it is. Yeah, like guys. You don't listen now you're not gonna understand later, and

silly. I mean, what is there to understand? Were were destined to eternal damnation. I don't need somebody to remind me how everything works down. Okay? I've learned everything by experience so

it's so

far. Buying into it early on, when they were passing out the T shirts, I was like,

This could

be fun if I get in the mind. If I just accept this, it might be fun, right? But I hated those teas.

They were so big on us. They're like it's like it different sizes don't get a bunch of triple Excels.

Yeah, and they were clever. They t shirts were clever.

They thought they were clever.

Yeah, I wasn't minding

the tour so much when they weren't talking to us. And we could sort of talk to our our fellow hell mates and to be down here with Yeah, but then when they stopped and got us into the multipurpose area and just started talking at us,

yeah, it was boring. So we walked across the street to a We work. If you guys are familiar with, we works, they are shared cool, shared spaces. Very do work

every young millennials to do whatever they want while they pretend to work with their

dog. Yeah, there's tons of dogs in here.

Yeah, there's a bunch of dogs with no, like no callers on the And if you are you I do a big show of thinking the dog has cute. So everyone knows here that I'm not likeable.

Oh, who is the You keep trying it to use people to hook up with. Yeah, Yeah, it feels false on you time. Really? Yeah. Well, it hasn't

worked, that's for sure.

I tell you, don't like. And

I've had dogs kind of carrying them by the scruff

because it's how their mothers do it. It's

how their mothers do it.

You're not with your teeth tied. Also,

it's not other people. You're doing it to other people's dogs. It's

how their mothers do it. Putting him

in the corner and then trying to breast

feed. Yeah,

I just Hey, as on Earth, So in hell I'm trying to get laid down here. So, uh, walking around on parent and

go was your date last night?

Um, it was a top to bottom disaster.

Really? That's a surprise.

Yeah, you bottom. She arrived. Yeah, you were talked about. I went from top to bottom. I came in thinking I was the top and I left the bottom

bad. Well, it was fine. It's just, you know, when

someone else doesn't have chemistry with you. I like your doing. Hey, everything right? They're just not there, you know? And I tell you what, uh, dating is hell, You know what I mean?

Were they where? Every time you said something, they just stare at you blankly not knowing anything about what you said,

right? Yeah. Rid. Well, because the thing is, they were

saying something and they were wrong about it. Their time of politics wrong. So I was I was kind of jumping in and explaining to them Well, yeah, I'm a libertarian. I'm a I'm a Bill Maher libertarian on. And so I was saying like, No, no, no, Don't you understand? If you don't regulate anybody, everything's fine. I have no evidence of this, but I'll say it forever. And he kept trying to chime in. I said, Let me explain it to you. You know, we just had no chemistry.

That's up by my Yeah,

you guys went to a beautiful restaurant. Did that end up being a restaurant?

Well, it was beautiful in there, but I will say this that my pumpkin costume burger was a little bit overcooked over overcooked. Interesting. Yeah.

Could you tell? Was it singed?

Oh, to a crisp? Yeah, It was a burnt pumpkin costume burger. And you

were in a costume shop. You in a costume shop?

Well, tell that to my sumo wrestler costume dessert.

I can have a little fan on it. What? You ate that? Yeah, I heard you this morning. You When you poo did this morning. We had a fan and had a way

to inflate the sumo. Right? That's

about a weird fan that's on your butt in the Schumann costume.

Um, yeah, but, you know, that's my experience in hell. I do feel like, um I am a new me here a

little. I think we all kind of have to feel that way, because it is This is the new normal. My

guys, this is our new normal on,

and and And if, for all intents and purposes, this is our eternity and that's the thing. I mean, the concept of infinity and eternity is something that terrified me since the day I was born. So the fact that

you always were hoping you would die and be dead forever

I've never thought about

what I was a kid.

Yeah. Who wants to continue on in this consciousness?

Yeah, I I always hoped that, you know, the lights go out and there's nothing there, but it turns out the lights don't go out. The scenery just changes.

Isn't that brutal? That you hated being alive so much that you were so scared that you would have to keep happening for eternity.

Yeah, that dying would still be living. It was my biggest fear.

I'm so that makes me so sad.

And it's and it's come true twice. And

here's the thing. That's the crazy thing for you knew this already. I

did it. I did. I knew all

this already very

coy Down here in the night.

I've been here before, literally quickly and too quick, Succinct sentences. Tell us how you died the first time and came back. And then you're here now when you died again, Well, the first

time that I died, If I'm not mistaken, I had sex and my heart stopped. That's Ah, I died and came toe hell or heaven. Ah, they're very similar. If there I've been in two different places, but they seem very similar. But then I came back to life. Obviously, um, you guys did a seh aunts and brought me back to life into a stew Taylor's body and ah, And then eventually I shed the cocoon of Stew Taylor's body on and ah became Howard again. But ah, the and my insides were used to hide dynamite and we blew up box son's wedding right with my body and I became just a severed head that I then attached Teoh Arnold Schwarzenegger's body, right? Ah, and then lived with that for a little while and then I died again with you guys at the end of last season. Ah, after camp, too. Perfect. Sous ain't Senate. Yeah, it's been hell literally ups and downs for me. But honestly, I feel like there is, like, a little bit of me that just knows now what? What to expect from life. And I'm gonna grab it by the horns. Well, try to make

it. When we first got here, we were kind of walking around and I do remember

somebody saying, Oh, no, it's him and and running off. And then it was

a woman with kind of your features, like an older version of you with

my mom. Really? That was my mom? Yeah.

Oh, my God. So you're telling me that this thing we have

on earth when we that makes us feel better when someone dies? Oh, at least I'll see them in heaven.

It happened to you, but the full opera Your mom was in hell and she was avoiding you.

Yeah, and I followed her. I followed her. She followed. I followed her. She

for how long?

Ah, well, you mean you guys? How long was I gone? Ah, a couple double days. I followed her.

She with anyone?

She waas? Sure she was with. She was with someone. What was happening? Ah, they Well, I'll say he he was not. He was younger. Older? Uh, quite a bit older.

Interesting. And your way. You know, your mom is with an older man in hell, huh? They both sort of looks and their bodies.

Yeah. No, they both look very different from each other. Uh, well, yeah. Looks like she sought out something specific. Did you recognize him? Uh, I don't know

What a Some of your features. Maybe he was. Your dad was

here. That's the thing, guys. What? He wasn't my dad. Oh,

no. Your mom's having

an affair and help. Well, yeah, my mom died. My dad's still alive, and she's having an affair with my dad in hell with an older man with an older man. Yeah,

he's bragging about it.

Yeah, well, he here's the crazy thing. I finally caught up with my mom at a restaurant. Yeah, I sort of stood over to the side waiting, waiting to make my move. She went to the bathroom. She would just to say hello.

Just making sure she went to the

water was she would avoid you

always making moves. She went to the bathroom and her knew her new friend came over to the bar. And you see that hot piece of ass I'm with? Jay says, And I said, Listen, buddy, I don't want to hear this.

Oh, so he confided in you

about it and me, and he told me so,

Being misogynistic towards your mother? Yes. And I heard you went along with it because you're too scared t to stand

Yeah. I mean, for a little

up to this man.

you added on that rumor has been going around. Hell, yeah.

You know, this might might Hell stepdaddy, uh, forced me to be more more misogynistic than he

forced you to, bro. Out with him about how hot your mom was. And you never spoke up about your

mom. He said, Don't you love how her shirt so thin you can see your po keys?

Oh, so he's massage and weird. I said, Oh, Yeah. Oh, yeah. You could cut ice with those. Hey, was getting

so misogynistic that he was starting to get turned on to you because you looked

like her. How are you? How are anyway, I let him kiss me. Whoa! Oh, our This is devastated. Oh, it's fun. I want to really help your that the whole a cious nightmare.

Who have you been texting him? Ah, I don't have

the heart to say anything. He's he's playing. You keep saying the main de main squeeze is your mother. Yeah. And I said I've

noticed you scratching a lot down below.

Yeah, Everything okay? Uh, yes. Going on. We're not

talking about the crabs you immediately get upon arrival.

We're not doing the hell crab. No,

no. Apparently, I've got a

yeast size, but also days as Howard Howard,

this is bad for you.

You, Todd, this is a taxing. Accepted it, And I was on earth size seven. Hell,

I'm going to take I'm gonna take the curveballs that God or the devil astern at me

and I am not holes. Well, that's the thing. Oh,

I didn't see

you once when you were drying off. When you got out of the shower and I swung. I way

you knew where

they were going to be. Exactly.

And all of a sudden, in comes an umpire from nowhere and says you're

well, uh, yeah,

but, uh, if anyone hasn't seen it, definitely. Go on. Uh, go online and check out. Babe Ruth called it and he knocked her balls. I mean, they went,

yes. Lie games, Johnny. Babe Ruth called it. You'll find it. You'll find its video, baby, It's got, like, knocking it out of the

http colon Backslash backslash h e double l dot youtube dot com tell you to be different.

And you when you when your balls were hit out of the park were caught by a young boy and then a man stole it from the young boy. Yeah, that went viral. That went by.

It was ah, it was Ah, young native American boy caught it and he was punched by a middle aged white man and they touched the ball with hell is the same as Earth.

It seems to me like we are all experiencing different stages of grief waiting except we got you And

yes, participants acceptance and participants which is not a state. You're doubling down and

created a new stage of grief. Sam is clearly in denial.

Must be so tough for you guys to be in stages. Fact,

Sam. Well, I'm on your

side. I just feel like I'm the strong one right now. I need a shoulder to lean on its

me. All right.

Um what

stage are you in, Todd?

Well, what else is there? There's anger. Which that's kind of perpetual. Yeah, I guess I was grieving for 120 years or 75 way All went through

that stage. We got in the ring early here in hell, and I thought we could box and getting the shit beat out of us to We're looking for a place to put that anger.

Yeah, Yeah. They said we could box anyone of our choice on We all said butter be

way all in unison Said Butterbean Way

got puzzled by butter baby

butter Bean is bigger and less in shape

down here. But the punching strength is still

when he was on earth

and it's a It was crazy. When they asked me that it was as if I had been thinking about that question my whole life. I didn't know it. I have so quickly.

I I've been thinking about it since the day I saw him. Knockout Knoxville. Yeah, I was like, I would love to. I would love to have the opportunity to fight this man.

So after butter being pummeled, us? Yeah. We couldn't go down losers. So we had to challenge someone else to a boxing fight. You know, I challenge Louis C. K. I know he's been boxing to burn off some steam and, well, he kicked the shit out. T o b U

on right. When he walked out, you got a standing ovation before even starting a

long time for them to sit out.

It was as if he had, like, come back from a USO tour. Everyone was just like, Oh, so happy to see him in how Levi's everyone in hell was very excited. That Louise back. Yeah, so that it was like, All right, all right. We got to do something a little easier. So of course in unison. Verne Troyer and boy, did

we pummel him. Really? Do. We did win that back to back the back to back fights Rive earned ref.

The ref game was standing 10 count

introducing new fighter after new fighter and we would kick the shit out of him. Then after

the orientate, one of the parts of hell that you don't know is gonna happen is they force you to watch your own funeral.

Yes, it's a humbling experience that bad. It seems like they only do it for people who had bad funerals too, because, I mean, there are some people who had great funerals

A at the beginning of orientation they give you a thumb drive with your funeral,

you can choose It could be a thumb drive or you can dio ftp You can do a direct download from

you know, we have box.

You could do. We transfer.

Yeah, you can do whatever. I'm wire.

We're just bear share. Soc farmers only

I chose buyer share and it is It's sandwich in

between a, um mine. Also I think has ah, eyes mystic o help him on

it. Yeah, I lived in four different

ones. I got a mystical album. I got a cover of gin and juice by, uh, by a late nineties punk band. Yeah,

the 80 aliens cover outcast without the tinny showing. But

it is no matter which which one you use. You haven't account already. You have a password, but you don't remember what it is. And so, yeah, I get the video. You have to read. You have to enter, like, 10 different passwords. And they got a new one

so hard you have to answer all these. What was your mother's mother's maiden name? And it's like,

How do I know? I don't even know my mom's name. You got your first name? You got

a new password recovery and do about this email my emails. They're never going through. I'm getting stuff back from this mailer demon all.

Hey, bring some to my front door. Really do.

That is one of the personalities of hello Say

is here. And he was having fun with his job. He comes in and goes, Hey, guess what? They're

not sad anymore.

He always says you've gotten

the wrong address. Uh, um, he'll come by instead on Earth. Mailman are scared of dogs. He comes to your house with a scary dog. Six it on you.

Yeah, he drives

on his is. It's just a regular car doesn't have the seat on the right.

Uh, but

walks right into your house and put your mail on your desk.

Yeah, he wears short shorts on his head. This guy's bath, not blue,

obviously opposite of blue, which is the world. Lau Loud clothes.

How's it of blue is live

so But once we recovered it all, they force us to watch our funeral

way. Made it. We made a night of it. You know, we all figured, Hey, let's just sit down and we'll go through this together if you can't. If you If you got to do something bad, you might as well do with your buddies. Right? So we all sat down and watched each other's funerals.

Yeah, we had some hard corn kernels.

Ah, and it was enlightening to say the least, I would say for all of us really saw what we meant to people on

Earth. Well, yeah, for my funeral. The last thing in my will was I requested the the guy that held Ariana Grande and a very weird way at Aretha Franklin's funeral. Uh, I said, uh, this guy has got to perform the service for May um, and had that go. Well, as we saw watching the funeral, he did that to my body. Uh, he was kind of hugging my body with his hand right under my pectoral. Squeezing a bunch on it made me feel very like, um uh, Gross. I was expecting it.

And you're obviously all your ex wife's showed up.

Yeah, well, they showed up for this was not my will, but they showed up for the ceremonial spitting on the body, which that I didn't know they could do stuff that wasn't in your will.

Sort of an impromptu. Yeah,

I think that's what it was. Is one of them got up and spit on

most of your

will. Was rules for your funeral. Yeah. Not who you bequeath, Teoh are Who gets your your stuff,

and we have. And we've gone over some of this in the past

way. Oh, yeah, my funeral writer. Um, but yeah, my whole will. And then I like my video. Well, is more rules for my funeral? Um, and then, uh oh. And that they didn't follow the rules. And that was upsetting toe watch. I was happy to see that my daughter came. Really? Yes. Yeah. She couldn't muster some fucking tears for me. Um,

smiling and giggling a lot.

Yeah, It was a giggly funeral. Uh,

what do

you think was

so funny? Because I didn't get it being down here.

You know, watching it,

I finally understood that very poetic line from the bare, naked ladies on the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what you mean. You soon will die soon. Did uh uh okay,

deconstruct the bare, naked ladies. I mean, there is some deep stuff.

Oh, absolutely. On

it could be. China just tries to Chinese stricken, by the way. It's really good. If

you have a drumstick, your brain stops tickin.

It's been one week. Yeah,

but so, yeah, everyone was kind of giggling at my funeral. And then, um, all of the eulogies were, I would say, terse and short. Um, and then I asked for a like a big New Orleans style like jazz band on. They got a middle school jazz band to come in new jasmine. Very new kids who, clearly socially like their parents, were like, We cannot figure you out. Maybe this will be the thing right. Um, so, uh,

it's also a big class, so they can't really do. Just Jack. There was a guy with a steel drum.

There was a steel drum in there. Yeah, there was an electric guitar. They played that green day song time of your life. But just the good riddance part they kept saying, This is this is great days, too. Good riddance. Uh, s so it was really tough to watch.

Yeah, that's hard. That is, um yeah. I mean, I hated mine, too. I mean, ah, it would cut in and out, obviously with with, ah, mystical lyrics. Um, you know, at one point I was my mom was about to give a speech, and then I just heard

put a wet towel under the door,

Um, which I think is a song from, Ah, some something about smoking weed inside. You put a towel under the door hotels.

The shocking thing was, this was this mystical was at your funeral.

Down was Shaka. Yeah, it was crazy because I requested John Mayer to come and do a a Ah, instrumental. And this was

in your will. You want to be your

because I wanted to do.

What? Ah, what?

He,

uh, MJ did Ah, and have John Mayer there.

Juju.

Uh um, I also mental. Yeah, I wanted him to play an instrument. All, um and, uh, yeah, I don't He didn't show, but Mr Cole was There

was there was like, There's a long list. You go down when it's like, OK, we couldn't get John Mayer. Who's next? Uh, Ben Harper. But way.

It's weird. If there was this long, Listen, at the very end, it said Is Pepsi

okay? There was just a Pepsi there. It was a glass of Pepsi, and they had

the Pepsi be the main speaker.

Main speak. He said almost nothing.

Yeah, well, he did said a lot. It's

Yeah. Luckily, he had some, uh, some, uh What's it called? Fizz left in him. So

there was a little bit of noise.

I hated the photo that

would they chose there was next to my body. It was devastating.

Yeah, that was what? That was you on a fishing trip, right?

Yeah. Yes, you do. Yeah. You took

in. That's one memory where that's the only one

where I didn't catch a lot of fish. I catch so much you

were holding up a boot on a string.

Oh, my God. It's my worst fishing trip. Just so everyone knows I'm a man and I catch a lot of fish. And I take pictures with them when I catch him, and I and I don't release him and keep him all. And then I freeze the meat and let it go bad in the freezer, and I throw it out. What's every five years? I'm saying your nasty

you. What you'll do is you'll take. You'll take some pictures on that trip and you'll tag every friend on Facebook. Oh, my God. You'll take everyone and be like another four pounder. Yeah, not that big.

Yeah, I tag everyone. And I also do, um, ads for skin creams e i du codes for sent skin on. All that's wrong for you and and I really I was hoping posthumously the skin cream company I

work for ah would not have showed up to the funeral and made it

a cell opportunity. Well, then, but boy did they

ended up using the photo of you with the boot as an ad because I guess you were using the cream on that trip and your face didn't get wind

burnt was using the cream. And it was not right.

Yeah. You were using the cream for something a little more nefarious.

Yeah. Yeah, your coffee. My coffee. Here I was bringing cream.

Uh uh, face cream and my

car away. Well, people will say, How do you take your coffee? Did you say two sugars and face cream? And

they go What? And I say

to shut on face

Cravy. Yeah, and And if you ever have you had that served to you properly

once, once at a keels that I had