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s08e02
Halloween Nativity with Food Court Employee Paxton Wallop (Justin Michael)

The guys discuss their new work release program with Food Court Employee Paxton Wallop (Justin Michael).

0:00:01
spk_2
 

Yeah, yeah, It's as good as I remember it being too. I don't go with the fancy stuff. I don't eat Sabar. No,

0:00:06
spk_1
 

it is still too fancy. What do you time goes by the

0:00:09
spk_0
 

slice by the slices. Not fancy. I were talking about the place. A few A few slots down. Stables down from Sabara, right? Yes, sir. Viers to again.

0:00:21
spk_3
 

I took you. I took you to a Sabar. Oh, we made those plans and you showed up in a tuxedo.

0:00:27
spk_0
 

Why, yes, but I mean, that place is high high class. They give you a little garlic knots in 10 foil.

0:00:36
spk_1
 

Yeah, but you doesn't happen. Yeah, but you got

0:00:37
spk_2
 

to bring your own trey. You you don't even have. They don't have dedicated seeding. I mean, they don't have like, it's it's

0:00:43
spk_3
 

not. Did you ever follow my funny instagram travel account where I would just go toe New York and Italy and take a picture in front of Sabah row and say, getting the authentic pizza?

0:00:53
spk_1
 

That is no, a funny joke.

0:00:57
spk_0
 

It's really it is a funny thing that I have definitely, and I'm humiliated

0:01:06
spk_2
 

you. And also you could do with a Starbucks in Italy were getting anything an authentic express. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I was hoping at what point

0:01:14
spk_0
 

Expresso is very is a very different drink. I ordered an expresso the other day and I ended up four stops away without even stopping.

0:01:23
spk_1
 

That's four stops by an Italian man. He takes on Italian bank, throw hot coffee in your face and

0:01:28
spk_0
 

then put you somewhere really

0:01:29
spk_3
 

far. You take the local.

0:01:32
spk_1
 

Yeah, well, yeah. You definitely take the local look while I ve order

0:01:38
spk_0
 

in a local O

0:01:41
spk_3
 

A. Look. Ello, ello. Kayla looking for you. Ended up in Iran. Contra?

0:01:49
spk_0
 

Yeah, Long Island. And I cater waiter to breast

0:01:54
spk_1
 

a bris. Yeah, really? They do food

0:01:57
spk_4
 

at those?

0:01:58
spk_1
 

Well, I any mix ups? It must have been a mix up because I was

0:02:02
spk_0
 

there with tuna tartare and they were like, I think that's a wet. I think that you're supposed to be the wedding. Yeah, but I serve the baby in her meso. I

0:02:12
spk_1
 

plays this palette The baby had a cleanse about. Was he eating something that he needed to be cleansed from work? Well, yeah, he had just been

0:02:20
spk_0
 

eating some maps and he was about to eat the main course cycle is his ballot. That's nice. And what was the more leading? The Moyle

0:02:29
spk_3
 

was a boil. Boil, right?

0:02:31
spk_1
 

Well, the mile. I just put in a

0:02:33
spk_0
 

big packet of Boyle Boyle on a bunch of like shrimp and potatoes and stuff. Yeah, well, bunch of morals were showing up in putting, um, they were putting Cem paper down on tables to have a big oil. I mean, if if someone starts a boil boil, you can count on a bunch of boils coming out of the way.

0:02:50
spk_1
 

Smell it. It's where it's warm oils, the vile come. It's a

0:02:55
spk_3
 

boil cough. You need a bunch of oils. You just throw that paper bad. You through all sorts of shrimp, sausage, potatoes.

0:03:04
spk_1
 

What is on the thing when they shot it up in the sky to try to get them oils?

0:03:09
spk_3
 

Oh, no, the bat signal from the

0:03:11
spk_1
 

mile signal. What's the signal look like?

0:03:12
spk_3
 

It's Ah, it's complaining on a plane.

0:03:20
spk_1
 

Eso is a guy clearly standing, not standing near seat, but not sitting in it both right, and his stuff

0:03:26
spk_2
 

is touching. Both people sitting next to

0:03:28
spk_3
 

its right is like

0:03:29
spk_1
 

I don't know if you could weigh in on this out. I asked, But then when he said the specific I laughed too Are So maybe I'm bad to

0:03:43
spk_3
 

you? Left like a white audience. An improv show When one of the black guy says the n word. You guys like that too much, didn't you?

0:03:52
spk_1
 

Big, huge laugh peak

0:03:54
spk_0
 

in the audience. Oh, shit. What you some on fire? No way. Car roll, guys. Nothing's on fire

0:04:06
spk_1
 

Roll stop walking Roll Let's roll. 23 The way The music your own Prior were gracious rock n roll didn't put the fire but there wasn't fired Rock and roll 234 A a a a cat cut That was like a good one. Todo get that

0:04:54
spk_3
 

we get that.

0:04:55
spk_4
 

That would be

0:04:56
spk_1
 

well, pay cow bell. I'll say this. Oh, yeah,

0:05:00
spk_4
 

Yeah, That's just do it again. Star

0:05:04
spk_1
 

amount. But, um, by the way, Music. Oh, guys, I gotta have more cowbell. Oh, no, we're not.

0:05:17
spk_4
 

That's what is that from? That's from something

0:05:21
spk_3
 

I think right now I think this

0:05:23
spk_4
 

way we make

0:05:25
spk_1
 

that just inventing. Funny thing. No,

0:05:28
spk_2
 

Listen, guys, you say you wanted to be able to take it again. Well, you'll be able to play that one back if you know what I mean.

0:05:33
spk_4
 

To just

0:05:39
spk_1
 

change what? Cow bell. Your fear. The reaper. Reid Second said, Get said, What is that from?

0:05:50
spk_2
 

You'll figure it out later because we got to get to it cause we've been recording this whole time. What?

0:05:55
spk_1
 

Oh, shit way. At least we got some of that song down that's going to be a hit.

0:06:00
spk_3
 

That's got my I was going to say we got a record to get this, aren't

0:06:03
spk_0
 

I? Got full? I don't like I was an idiot. Well, uh, you shouldn't be kind of

0:06:11
spk_1
 

learned the lesson

0:06:12
spk_2
 

I've tried. I've tried to learn this lesson. Honestly, at this point, I do not know how to fix

0:06:17
spk_1
 

it. Your brain in there. Audio engineering class or yeah, I'd love that, But it won't stick something wrong with his brain. It won't. He sent it every time. Because we've put

0:06:30
spk_0
 

posted notes on your forehead. Yeah,

0:06:32
spk_1
 

I'm covered in posted way. Sure. Our forehead. That's right.

0:06:37
spk_2
 

Welcome to the teacher's lounge. It used to be the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High school community. But unfortunately, that is not the

0:06:48
spk_1
 

case anymore. People care. Fortunately, we would love to be in the first season. Yeah, yes. Yeah, but oh, my God. If we never had to do an episode again God, Well, you know, if you why do we have to do this? Well, cause we're trapped in hell. This is my own personal hell.

0:07:07
spk_2
 

Uh, you know, that is true. We, ah, last season died and went to hell on if you listen less Last episode, we talked a lot about how we were sort of trying to find our new normal. Uh

0:07:19
spk_1
 

oh, no, this is our

0:07:20
spk_2
 

This is our normal, normal. Um, And we we actually missed some pretty crucial information when we ducked out on McCain's orientation. Because when you're inhale, apparently you can get on work release, and we've all been assigned.

0:07:35
spk_0
 

We'll have to be on work. You have to be on. That's part of it. You don't just sit down there and burn, which would actually be

0:07:41
spk_1
 

nice. You have to wear.

0:07:43
spk_2
 

Yeah, uh, you know, we all, thankfully were assigned work release in the same location, and we thought originally it was just gonna be somewhere Inhale. You know, we work at a coffee shopper, you know, cleaning toilets somewhere. But no. In

0:07:57
spk_0
 

fact, Satan has a contract with Malls of the Earth. Yes. Yeah. And and we're talking the classic, the classic mall. It's just disgusting.

0:08:11
spk_1
 

Yeah, yeah. Not the good mom. You know how most good model in the

0:08:16
spk_0
 

in the old mall who told Mom

0:08:19
spk_1
 

Let us paint a

0:08:20
spk_0
 

picture. It's all indoors. White tile only. But

0:08:24
spk_4
 

it's dirty.

0:08:25
spk_2
 

Yeah, but yes, it's dirty. Yeah,

0:08:28
spk_1
 

I guess that's it.

0:08:28
spk_2
 

It's got Ah, you know, it's got a run down place where no Children are playing, But Children can play that sort of like nasty porcelain looking like like rideable horses.

0:08:41
spk_1
 

Porcelain. That's a good word. Everything feels like

0:08:42
spk_0
 

a toilet in this. Yeah, yes. Yeah.

0:08:45
spk_3
 

And we asked, there was Why can't we just stay in hell? And they said it just didn't work very well, keeping people just in half way. Could you know what to do with the time hires a little over complicated. Let's get let's get everyone in hell on Earth for at least a little bit on and so that they've been trying that out on I'm disappointed.

0:09:07
spk_1
 

Yeah. I mean, what we they do. We don't

0:09:11
spk_0
 

have anklets ankle braces like you do on house arrest. You have, um,

0:09:19
spk_3
 

chokers. So we're all in these cute little choker?

0:09:23
spk_1
 

Yeah. Like, kind of like

0:09:24
spk_0
 

limited Teoh, late nineties, early two thousands. Ah, high school girl choker

0:09:31
spk_1
 

Look, But they do have, like, dog training functionality. Because I can't getting

0:09:36
spk_0
 

shocked if I drive too far in the parking lot. Yeah,

0:09:39
spk_1
 

right. You're out on security details. That's what I want to

0:09:43
spk_2
 

tell everybody what we're doing. Sam, you Ah, you now are working security at the mall.

0:09:48
spk_1
 

Yes, I drive

0:09:49
spk_0
 

a beat up Jeep Patriot security vehicle and I cruise the parking lot and try to just make sure everyone gets to their car and you take a lot of breaks. Also, though that part of the job Absolutely. I take a lot of breaks. And every time I do, I get stung on the neck for it. Yeah,

0:10:04
spk_1
 

but you know what you gonna do? Just keep driving. It's exhausting and exas

0:10:08
spk_3
 

ting in hell or back on Earth. But as in your after life, are you a better driver of these little jeeps than you were maybe of limos or, um, cars.

0:10:18
spk_1
 

You know, I thought I

0:10:19
spk_0
 

would be I really thought I would be. But so far I've crashed the car 32 times. It's been three days, and

0:10:25
spk_1
 

but these jeeps are rugged, though. I mean, they do not

0:10:29
spk_2
 

You get more day and you've done more damage Other things than to actually your

0:10:33
spk_1
 

I've taken this thing off roading accidentally. And I You quickly

0:10:37
spk_0
 

upgraded your jeep. Ah, you lift it.

0:10:41
spk_1
 

I lifted, I put the snorkel on it. I did the whole thing because I literally

0:10:45
spk_0
 

don't know where this thing's gonna take me. Sometimes I feel like it's not even up to. I

0:10:48
spk_2
 

saw you driving that thing around the fountain the other day. That's right. That's why you put the snorkel.

0:10:52
spk_1
 

I know there was a kid in

0:10:53
spk_0
 

there I was trying to chase down,

0:10:55
spk_1
 

and he was a fast swimmer, so I was sort of, you know, spinning her. I couldn't catch this.

0:11:00
spk_3
 

This was a little Mikey Phelps.

0:11:02
spk_1
 

That's right. Little making felt. Yeah, absolutely. The feet on this kid under believable. Well,

0:11:07
spk_0
 

Michael Phelps, son, little Mikey Phelps is always out there showing office staff

0:11:13
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's Ah, it's a kid that Michael Phelps had with the subway sandwich. Um, and so he's both fast and delicious.

0:11:21
spk_1
 

Yeah. Yeah.

0:11:24
spk_4
 

Okay. Swimming the fountain. That's what Daddy did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:11:26
spk_1
 

I'll be back.

0:11:27
spk_3
 

Uh, but you they in hell. They have the technology comic in the matrix where you just plug your head in and you can learn everything you need to know the famous I know Kung fu. Si. That's right. They did that for you with driving five times. And you're still a terrible driver.

0:11:41
spk_1
 

Yeah, there's something about it that my emotional aspect won't let new information in. I don't know what happened to me in my life. I think nothing but I can tow, learn any new

0:11:51
spk_0
 

information. Your brain is full. What do you think? It's full with

0:11:55
spk_1
 

pain and anguish. Maybe I'm not really sure. I'm not sure, but every time I

0:12:00
spk_0
 

drive, I go. I got this. I got this. I'm driving straight. And then 10 seconds later, at some point, I blacked out and I'm in a ditch or I'm in the hospital. Or a minute more

0:12:10
spk_2
 

or you're in a narrow post, Al.

0:12:12
spk_1
 

Yes. So I'm in a narrow postal where I have those air, not drive throughs. You were You were trying to get some acid

0:12:19
spk_0
 

wash jeans and a weird cable belt

0:12:24
spk_1
 

to go. Yeah, to go.

0:12:26
spk_3
 

Well, if you need it quickly, I would use a row Postmates. It's kind of an exorbitant delivery fee, but if you don't want to leave the house, but you do want a shirt with holes in it, that's the way to go.

0:12:40
spk_0
 

That's a really good thank you very much So.

0:12:42
spk_4
 

I've been

0:12:42
spk_1
 

having a tough time at the mall. Honestly, I would

0:12:45
spk_0
 

have preferred staying in hell. I hate when did they take you off of exterior Jeep? Or did they, uh, did they move you inside of What have they done? Have the Is your supervisor been like this is crazy where we're taking you off of driving

0:13:03
spk_1
 

duty. He's definitely said, This is crazy to me, that's for sure. But no, it's the only job they let me do, they say. Oddly enough, this is

0:13:10
spk_0
 

the thing you're most qualified for. I crashed the car. They say you'll do more damage elsewhere. That's right. And I have they let me be, Ah, just a standing security guard for, like, a few hours. Yeah, right in front of the sliding doors. Somehow I crushed and broke all the glass.

0:13:27
spk_2
 

Yeah, somehow. Did you punch it or

0:13:30
spk_1
 

anything? Well, I got in

0:13:31
spk_0
 

the car and I drove

0:13:32
spk_1
 

Teoh, but I was just going to

0:13:35
spk_0
 

get a snack from my car. A little string cheese. I like to leave it in there so it gets warm. Uh, you know, warm string.

0:13:40
spk_3
 

Do you like your string cheese eyes? Their dairy

0:13:43
spk_1
 

in string cheese?

0:13:43
spk_0
 

I'm pretty sure.

0:13:44
spk_3
 

Okay, Um, has on your stomach.

0:13:47
spk_1
 

Oh, it's bad for the stomach, but it's I like the way it touches my teeth like that. Nice little chewy got.

0:13:53
spk_2
 

It's got a good choo. Yeah, it's firm, but it's also a little soft.

0:13:59
spk_1
 

It's tough, but fair. Which is what she said is what she said. Yeah. How are you guys like my mother? I e

0:14:08
spk_4
 

i was a little

0:14:09
spk_0
 

bit, um I had taken ah, bunch of fentanyl. Um, but on our transition, because I just from hell to earn this quiet. A

0:14:20
spk_1
 

Is it complicated what happened there? Cause we

0:14:23
spk_0
 

were given social security numbers. We we've we seem like human beings, but we're demons. How did that? How

0:14:31
spk_1
 

did that transition happen? I was given

0:14:33
spk_0
 

an anti social security number. No. Yeah, it's

0:14:37
spk_2
 

basically Ah, the idea is that we can only interact with people in a service capacity. We can't way. We can't talk to people. We can't have casual conversation. We can only do ah specific service active, for example. Sam can only drive his security car around, and you also can fire a gun. If I'm,

0:14:57
spk_1
 

I can fire a gun. But if I talked to anyone,

0:14:59
spk_0
 

my hair lights on fire

0:15:01
spk_2
 

and, uh on only you feel it, though that's the thing it doesn't they don't see in the real

0:15:05
spk_3
 

world. But of course, it's a tough rule for me because I do. I have the gift of Gabby. You want to just trapped people at a time. I'm a wordsmith. I love getting to know people. I like just learning about people and so that it really is my hell to be around all of these fascinating.

0:15:22
spk_1
 

And how about

0:15:23
spk_0
 

people? Do you, like, ask a lot of questions?

0:15:25
spk_3
 

You could learn a lot about someone, by the way they listen to you talk. You know what I mean? The way they hear you and

0:15:32
spk_0
 

try to stay away from the conversation here. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Very help. Miss Test. How long does it take this person to leave If they wait a long time there a good person, right?

0:15:43
spk_1
 

They leave immediately. There

0:15:44
spk_2
 

mean Yeah, exactly. Have you had? Because you're obviously you're sort of the the the manager of the sort of event space at the mall? Yeah. It's sort of the same place where, like, Santa Claus gets set up at Christmas or when we've got, like, a boy band, auditions or whatever. They're happening. That's right. There's always boy band auditions in the

0:16:03
spk_3
 

Yes. They're saying there's ever a lucrative career. Yeah, boy bands. Uh, yeah. You and the kids coming through all the time that

0:16:11
spk_4
 

there was a there was,

0:16:12
spk_0
 

like, what seemed to be like an Abercrombie cattle call there the other day. You know, boys, you know, 16 to 24

0:16:22
spk_4
 

one of them

0:16:23
spk_1
 

looked like you and seem like you. It's like way

0:16:27
spk_3
 

I called in sick to work, so I don't remember who was there. Um, but, you know, I did hear that there was a nice wrinkle, young boy, that came in. Ah, nice wrinkly, young boy. Yeah, that's the chatter. Kind of going around is Ah, little wrinkly boy came in and they don't even ask him to. But he belted out 16 bars. They were

0:16:50
spk_1
 

not supposed to know

0:16:54
spk_3
 

what he was doing. Ring of keys from fun, huh? Sorry about discovering his own lesbian sexuality. Um, and you know, I think that I hope he gets a call back.

0:17:13
spk_1
 

Why? You were sick. You don't know this

0:17:15
spk_3
 

boy. I just It sounds powerful

0:17:17
spk_1
 

I did here. I did

0:17:18
spk_2
 

hear some chatter around the mall. They were taking a break and I was in the coffee or not. The company, the food court and I heard the producers of that shoot say that they like they like that kid. But not for that. They are producing a remake of Tales From the Crypt. And they were thinking that maybe he'd be good.

0:17:40
spk_1
 

Hey, Sorry, Dean. They saw right through it. The producers of the average probably shoot are also producing tales from the Craig. Don't ask me. I'm not I'm not a mullah

0:17:51
spk_2
 

version. It's gonna be an experience

0:17:53
spk_1
 

in the mall. So it's not off Broadway. It's maul maul tails. It's

0:17:57
spk_4
 

kind of like

0:17:58
spk_1
 

a Halloween

0:17:58
spk_2
 

activity at the at the moment

0:18:01
spk_1
 

of your Nativity, the Halloween Nativity of tales from the Crypt Way. This is the devil's house. Just what it says. I want you. Nativity is not Christmas specific.

0:18:15
spk_4
 

Just made it just anything your native.

0:18:18
spk_1
 

Yes, well, it's not safe, Patrick. Stand activity was offensive. Well, it's just

0:18:22
spk_2
 

driven of the term negatively. It's natively.

0:18:25
spk_3
 

Oh, any sort. So, yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm sure I could get in touch with them for the Halloween tales from the crypt materially. Um, and I'm sure he'd be interested if they would write a pipe form or anything like that. But you weren't suggesting the crypt keeper roll, right?

0:18:43
spk_2
 

I would never make a suggestion like that, but the They seem to have a very specific idea of what they wanted to use them for.

0:18:50
spk_3
 

Okay, Well, um what

0:18:51
spk_1
 

it sounds like

0:18:52
spk_0
 

you're running the events at the mall and also submitting yourself for everything that comes through town.

0:18:59
spk_1
 

Look, uh, because the day you were supposed to work security when Santa

0:19:02
spk_0
 

came in there was no No. One there. And Santa showed up a little bit

0:19:08
spk_1
 

confused right now and he said, Let's get those kids on my lap and I don't want to go back to this. But Todd, your registered sex offender by accident, And

0:19:18
spk_4
 

that doesn't look good.

0:19:20
spk_1
 

If that is you.

0:19:22
spk_3
 

Look, the I've explained this now on multiple Podd. I work out at a middle school agin at a middle school gym and playground, and I was changing in the kids in the middle school bathroom and I had to take a call. It was too loud, so I took it outside and forgot I was nude. The experience was more traumatizing and humiliating for me than the kids, because the kids pointed at my Penis and said, Smaller than me.

0:19:59
spk_1
 

Look, it's smaller than ours. So hours there Really?

0:20:05
spk_3
 

Yeah, I bullies and nerds were but were hugging each other and laughing. At May A created a kind of a peace amongst them.

0:20:13
spk_0
 

It seemed like there is a new up and coming pop star, uh, Bridget Spears, who is Britney Spears niece, and it seemed like, uh

0:20:27
spk_2
 

came out of nowhere. Yeah,

0:20:28
spk_1
 

and came out of nowhere she came through them all tall. A lot of people, very so tall. Bridges, piers It's almost as if

0:20:38
spk_0
 

the kids nowadays think just simply being tall is the coolest thing you could. Levi's. It's such

0:20:45
spk_1
 

a new weird trend you're seeing DILTs. You're seeing everybody's got a picture of the girls. Got pictures of Dick Mbaye Matombo on there. That's not J T T Dick Mbaye. Tamba

0:20:59
spk_3
 

That's right. Oh, yeah, I think, Bridget, she's gonna be big And I'm excited about her. Heard in your opener told Podd Raya, who is a very tall your

0:21:10
spk_1
 

time. Todd. Todd, Padre. And you're trying to pull off their opener is tall Padre your tall in your last name is Pancho. No, this is a

0:21:20
spk_3
 

soundcloud rapper. You could tell by all the tattoos on his face and the grill on his teeth and

0:21:25
spk_0
 

his Todd, huh? You have tattoos on your face right now?

0:21:29
spk_3
 

Oh, no, these are I'm breaking out. I've breaking out.

0:21:33
spk_0
 

You're breaking out in a tattoo that says thug life.

0:21:37
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's so embarrassing. But I have this adult onset acne that I guess it kind of looks like it says thug life.

0:21:46
spk_1
 

Your skin honestly looks smoother

0:21:47
spk_0
 

than ever. There's just Yeah,

0:21:51
spk_3
 

No, that's, uh maybe it's my birthmark. I think I got a birth.

0:21:56
spk_1
 

Mom, you're breaking out in both

0:21:57
spk_3
 

breaking on birth. Mark

0:21:58
spk_1
 

and I have seen

0:21:59
spk_2
 

your real birthmark. Todd, it's on your butt.

0:22:02
spk_1
 

Woke a Your birthmark is on your mother. You left a mark. Two of them. One physical, one emotional deep left your mark. Uh, look, we're excited. Tadre is performing. You are not tall,

0:22:20
spk_2
 

Padre. And tall Padre ends up being a great rapper who opens up for Bridget Spears. Then I'm I'm happy to have a nice fun event to watch from the mall. It's so

0:22:30
spk_1
 

you're close to the right. Your clothes. I work today.

0:22:34
spk_2
 

Yeah, I work. I work at the arcade on the upper deck of the the mall that overlooks the event space.

0:22:42
spk_1
 

Now the upper deck of a way to say it. But we were all thinking that's like the part of the ball that's like a baseball

0:22:51
spk_4
 

stadium. Is that what it is? What do you talk about this

0:22:53
spk_1
 

thing in the back of a toy? Well, I was thinking that, too, and

0:22:57
spk_3
 

it's amazing that a mall can give you the fuel of both. Yeah, it's like you're very far away from the action. You're also in the top of a toilet.

0:23:05
spk_1
 

Yeah, I a lot of people.

0:23:08
spk_2
 

I when I got this job, I knew it was gonna be tough, cause it is out of the way. You know, there's not a lot of, ah, foot traffic, um and and honestly, arcades, air kind of out of fashion these days. Kids got the video games at home.

0:23:19
spk_1
 

What? I said you'd

0:23:20
spk_0
 

be late to work because you're stuck in that big bag of peanuts up there.

0:23:23
spk_2
 

Yeah, well, I mean, if somebody called, if somebody's calling out selling snacks, I can't. I feel bad. Not not painful.

0:23:29
spk_1
 

And Guinness was in there, uh, at your arcade the other day. I saw them screeched to a halt outside the mall. Yeah, me too. I drove my pastor Stop. Hey, e tried to screech with Phil. You did? You did. You almost died all again, but they came

0:23:46
spk_0
 

in and quickly awarded you guys dirtiest carpet in the world.

0:23:50
spk_1
 

You quickly barca. They don't even have to think twice.

0:23:54
spk_2
 

Yeah, they, uh well, and I I knew the day that I signed on to this job that we had a shot a day. That award on, I've been doing my best to keep a dirty

0:24:04
spk_0
 

hard work. What are you doing for that?

0:24:05
spk_2
 

I mostly kids coming in with with food court items. And I just said, You know what? Just eat a month of Laura's fires. Just get sort of Indian Indian style on the floor. Yeah, nasty carpenter. So carpenter style, please. Uh ah. And then I also, you know, every day I just pull out the dust bag and I throw some dust down. Um,

0:24:26
spk_1
 

he tried that stuff. Yeah. Way. Have a closet full of desk bags and vacuum, huh? Back. You know, I saw you know, back. You

0:24:39
spk_2
 

know, I know what you're saying. You're saying like, like, sort of the sort of thing that the vacuum sucks the Dustin

0:24:45
spk_1
 

when you vacuum the whole mall on, reposition all the dirt to the dirtiest carpet, you're nobody. Nobody wants to see

0:24:55
spk_2
 

how the sausage is made. Okay, at that, we

0:24:58
spk_1
 

were not years. You keep showing yourself just made. Well, you know, I just want

0:25:03
spk_2
 

this this arcade to have some sort of attract some element of attraction and the games I it So you are a Guinness record for dirtiest carpet is up there on the list.

0:25:12
spk_1
 

Just got skee ball

0:25:13
spk_0
 

going again, right? You cannot fake skee ball at home. That's always gonna be fun. That's always gonna be anarchy.

0:25:19
spk_2
 

And unfortunately, the only people who are coming in on playing skee ball are like people on hack dates like it's just like guys who are just like, Ah, this is a fun activity to do with a girl who have never met because And then they always take it way too seriously and they end. They get into, like, weird, little competitive things with these, just like little guys who come in with their dates.

0:25:37
spk_3
 

You really hate young team. Loved on truth.

0:25:39
spk_2
 

I really do. Honestly,

0:25:41
spk_1
 

you were It's fat, your recent. Luckily, they're out of luck. You're not resentful, you know, Luckily, you're out

0:25:48
spk_2
 

of the woods with you were seeing your mom's new boyfriend. Well, I wish I was out of the woods. What happened? I did have the We're just friends conversation with him. Uh, he said,

0:26:02
spk_4
 

That's cool. That's what high voice sounds

0:26:05
spk_3
 

like you

0:26:06
spk_1
 

and what I heard

0:26:07
spk_0
 

he got back in their e. He's charming. Any

0:26:11
spk_2
 

weasel his way back? Well, he were friends. Guys were just friends. Me and my health. Stepdaddy are just friends, okay? And I told him to his face, he can hang out. We can hang on the weekends. We can hang, we can chat with. I heard you. You took him home for the holidays. That doesn't like

0:26:28
spk_1
 

you said, Like your injuries. This is my friend. And

0:26:31
spk_2
 

I introduced him. Teoh, Uh, people as my friend.

0:26:35
spk_1
 

He's just as he's We're here on work,

0:26:37
spk_0
 

release to, and you can have full interactions. I know. We said earlier you can't have interactions, but you can,

0:26:43
spk_1
 

uh, only what? You can have interactions with people from hell. We can talk

0:26:47
spk_2
 

to each other. We can. And also people from Earth to

0:26:51
spk_4
 

Yeah, the rules

0:26:52
spk_1
 

were faking loose. We need it. Yes. So this is your friend and your setting.

0:26:59
spk_2
 

Good. Just where I'm standing, it would get boundaries.

0:27:02
spk_3
 

Have you moved on from chatting about him objectifying your mom? Or is that still the thing that's happened?

0:27:07
spk_1
 

Ah, he keeps He knows That's

0:27:09
spk_2
 

where we connected. So he keeps trying to circle back, Teoh. Well,

0:27:14
spk_1
 

I just got to say I think I think

0:27:16
spk_0
 

it's not him. That's so special. I think you can connect with anyone about that same

0:27:20
spk_1
 

thing, because you I think I think you can find someone else who wants to objectify your mom the same way that you do. And you don't have to stay stuck with this guy because you offered

0:27:29
spk_0
 

him up advice, helped him pick out the photos he took of your mom, right? He's taking

0:27:34
spk_2
 

photos of your mom and your kind of WR. He did a boudoir

0:27:38
spk_1
 

shoes. Not exactly. Glamour shops. What money? But I don't know what you guys thinking means by that. I'm not really sure. I mean, those photos are Arata. Yeah, You look as they are not. They are ironic of your mother and you're looking at the proves and you're judging. But I'm looking at that to pictures of you looking. I'm looking at it. He loves taking pictures of you looking at the mom. Your mom? I'm letting you your roast in those two. Well, I'm looking

0:28:09
spk_2
 

at those photos of my mom objectively. I'm she is just a woman. She is not my mother

0:28:13
spk_1
 

seems subjective. Seems very sub dom.

0:28:19
spk_3
 

Now, um, so in that arcade, um, what's your role in the day to day basis? I haven't made it up.

0:28:26
spk_2
 

Well, I've got the little belt with the quarter dispenser on it. Kids come up to me, Give me a dollar. If there are kids, there's very infrequently kids. I give up quarters. I dust the carpet every night. I, uh, maintained machines. I make sure that machines Yeah, like game game. Okay, well, and also, you know, security cameras that are in there. I have to maintain a lot.

0:28:50
spk_3
 

But I also saw you fixing Ah, washer dryer.

0:28:53
spk_1
 

Right. Well, uh, as I said, the

0:28:55
spk_2
 

business in the arcade is kind of down, so we kind of just do maintenance on household appliances as well. I altered the sign out front and now says arcade and maintenance are and maintenance on house all the time.

0:29:06
spk_1
 

And I don't mean to breathe because they

0:29:08
spk_0
 

have really been given it to us all. But I did see the geek Geek squad stopped by and really bully the shit

0:29:15
spk_2
 

out of you. Yeah, they say I'm encroaching on their territory because I did start doing some computer repairs. Well, I'm getting

0:29:24
spk_1
 

the geek Squad is really, really getting bold at this moment. We thought we were cool, but apparently we are below Geek, they came out. We had a drag

0:29:33
spk_0
 

race the other day. It was the view against a cow. A cow. Um, bug Exactly calories, but about its printed and cow and me and my broken security truck.

0:29:45
spk_1
 

And needless to say, they want you to get out exactly how

0:29:48
spk_0
 

to do it. You just drive straight until the end, and I think I'm not a nerd, so

0:29:52
spk_3
 

I'm not smart enough to figure that

0:29:54
spk_1
 

out. I thought I was very

0:29:55
spk_0
 

much an Alfa. Now where I work, I work at Bass Pro Shop because I am a fisherman. I'm an outdoorsman. I'm an all around man's man. Um, so something more Alfa than spending all of your time alone. Absolutely. It's not because I can't talk to others, so I have to isolate myself. It's that I'm a man. I have

0:30:18
spk_3
 

so many memories of my father taking me

0:30:22
spk_4
 

over talking Teoh, learning that that's the way you know, Supposed to do it like it on every every time I take a picture with the fish, and my dad looks in the photo as if he can't wait to get away from May I tear up? I wish my dad have ever taken me fishing, but he was so focused on the business any time I eat a disgusting sandwich that was prepared with no love official group, and then I make an alcoholic drink. Any time I passed the trauma onto my Children through spankings and lash outs and angrily stomping into the woods to get a switch, I think of my mom or and then I

0:31:22
spk_1
 

go get a haircut and I realized

0:31:24
spk_3
 

I'd find again.

0:31:25
spk_4
 

Yeah, I go pay $3 for you to go to the cheapest in town, and it looks like a $2 Good wait about our daddies are Oh, my dad has given me such good taste and confidence. Who, anyway?

0:31:59
spk_1
 

Yeah, that was a motion. What about your job? We were tough guy stuff, you know? I'm just, you know, I'm in the bass pro. Ah, a lot of people in there,

0:32:08
spk_0
 

You know, a lot of cool people. Um, you know,

0:32:13
spk_1
 

getting camel when you worked specifically in the apparel section I did you

0:32:17
spk_0
 

a list, right? I'm an apparel specialist. Eso I help you out with bibs or waiters? Or lobster bibs or

0:32:27
spk_3
 

or lob moderators?

0:32:29
spk_1
 

You saw those little tubes that you sit into fish? What? Canoes? No. Now another tube. A canoe has a hard shell. Oh, yeah, I specialized. I specialize in those little ah, stupid inner tube. It's like a little basic with a baby sits in and you sit in when I sell fishing Floaties, I sell. I really specialize in fly fishing. You could come in there and whip that shit around as hard as you can. Uh, and you get employee discounts, by the way,

0:33:07
spk_0
 

he I get employees hikes. Bass pro is an employee height. Eso you pay over?

0:33:14
spk_1
 

Well, they know they know most of the people shopping. They're there for the important. If you're well, I'm always browsing. When I'm there, I got a I got a big stuff cart. I am working.

0:33:26
spk_3
 

There's a lot of like Could I help you, sir? Oh, I work here. Oh, me too.

0:33:31
spk_1
 

On you have a big section of

0:33:32
spk_0
 

the back of things that you can't find where they go back on the floor. So if they don't get put back, you're just someone's gonna have to take him. Yes.

0:33:40
spk_3
 

Called the T. J. Maxx section.

0:33:41
spk_0
 

It's a really nightmare back there. Just people rifling through. Ah, uh, reels and rods.

0:33:50
spk_3
 

But I'm sure you some guys come in there and you guys just chat. You could just

0:33:55
spk_1
 

Oh, my gosh. Yes. In this

0:33:57
spk_0
 

case, I can talk about emotional stuff with people who didn't come from hell. And we share stories about the big one that got away

0:34:06
spk_3
 

or you're

0:34:06
spk_0
 

tracking the big one. Um, naming the big one. Naming the big one. Uh, honey holes, Um,

0:34:17
spk_3
 

and the funny thing is, you guys are kind of all unaware of how this is a metaphor for your failures in life. The big one. That way we're totally

0:34:24
spk_0
 

unaware that we are are we can't achieve much in life, so we we fish. And

0:34:35
spk_1
 

can I ask you

0:34:36
spk_3
 

some questions? Yeah, I'm trying to catch some or trout. What's a good bait to use for that?

0:34:41
spk_1
 

Oh, that's a great question. So you want to use crabs like Scrabble? Crabs? Crab, Dungeness, fiddler? Uh, pube class. Pubic lice. Crabs are good for catching truck you can catch. Try any type

0:35:01
spk_0
 

of They love trout love creepily crawlers. Well,

0:35:04
spk_2
 

what about say I'm trying to catch a salmon? What kind of bait?

0:35:07
spk_3
 

When I using

0:35:08
spk_0
 

that, you use a shrimp. All right. Uh, like big shrimp smiles Ramprakash left from, uh,

0:35:18
spk_3
 

don't look for What's

0:35:19
spk_1
 

that? Hey, that him? Pete. Kids who are smaller on the playground. Tramps? Uh, yeah, fried shrimp fried swisher just into the

0:35:32
spk_0
 

idea of something that is smaller than it should be. Yeah, not specifically. Shrimp from the sea, right? Yeah. Novelty. Bonzai

0:35:41
spk_1
 

trees. So that a bunch entry, but a novelty bonzai tree? That's a tiny

0:35:45
spk_0
 

version of little tiny one. That's interesting. Um, yeah. So it's it's going pretty good there. My, uh, my I'm not selling enough. Ah. Peril. So we're trying to get my numbers up. My manager there. Ah, is, um is a guy with blood all over him.

0:36:08
spk_1
 

He looks like he just cleaned a deer. Something like, Yeah, he's really

0:36:12
spk_0
 

deaf. Um, yeah. So he's he's really riding May

0:36:17
spk_3
 

Are you having trouble selling the people? You can't close the deal.

0:36:20
spk_1
 

Yeah, I can never close the

0:36:21
spk_0
 

deal. Um, I just I'm always having I can't really make it to the final sale. I always lose the customer right in the end. Yeah. Ah, those are big stores. You know, if you get lost anywhere in there, Yeah, I get literally lost. And I'm like,

0:36:40
spk_4
 

Hello. We were almost to the register. Excuse may. Excuse May.

0:36:46
spk_1
 

So I've been leaving myself breadcrumbs. Uh, and I

0:36:50
spk_0
 

ate myself. This was humiliating the other day, but I left a bunch of breadcrumbs and I ate myself right into the toilet bowl

0:36:59
spk_1
 

at the back of the best leave breadcrumbs to the toilet. I know that I don't have the answer for, but I knew I've been having diarrhea. Here's the answer. People have piled up on you doing this breadcrumb thing. And now they're playing tricks on you. I mean, even bread comes to places you don't want My God breadcrumb to write off of a cliff. I think it's that guy who goes

0:37:21
spk_4
 

me. Me,

0:37:21
spk_1
 

I think it's him. I think that guy is such a nice guy Tricks. May you catch you catch you. I'm going to get his ass.

0:37:35
spk_2
 

All right. Well, yeah, I think we should take a quick break, guys. Just thio Thio, settle down a little.

0:37:41
spk_1
 

Yeah, We have to take a break. We're legally

0:37:43
spk_2
 

obligated. This t take a 15

0:37:45
spk_1
 

we hop into the car and I'll drive us around to the food court. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I

0:37:49
spk_0
 

would love to get ah, uh, glass up. I think I'm the

0:37:53
spk_5
 

hero. The store lip is going through a rebranding. Now, not only did they sell hats for your head, but also lives for your cup. Small, medium, large and extra large, hot and cold lid for your cops

0:38:21
spk_2
 

were bad guys. Thanks so much for sticking with us. Uh, you know, we figure since this is the new normal now way actually ran into Ah, good friend of ours at the food court when we're on our break getting our lunch there. So we said, Hey, man, why don't you come on down and jump on the podcast with us?

0:38:40
spk_3
 

That's the beauty of podcast.

0:38:42
spk_2
 

Yeah, we're friend. He's a family friend

0:38:45
spk_3
 

who was a friend with your family friends.

0:38:47
spk_1
 

A friend of the Podd.

0:38:48
spk_2
 

He's a friend of the Podd. He's a great friend of the Podd. Um, but we were excited to talk to him and peel the onion A some say, uh and he is our friend. Paxton Wallop. Paxton. How you doing? Good, Good, good, good, good. How you doing? My boys were doing real good, man, that we had a good lunch. Feeling real good. Did you enjoy your huge hot dogs? Yes.

0:39:10
spk_3
 

Yeah, yeah. And really, really huge, Otto.

0:39:13
spk_1
 

And it's interesting because you're hot.

0:39:16
spk_0
 

Dogs are not. Ah, huge Because they're long, They're huge because there for fat there. More of, like looking for a big Yeah, big balls.

0:39:26
spk_2
 

Yeah, well, they're hell. Hot dogs, hot dogs. Too big to fit in your mouth. Geez, the punishment

0:39:32
spk_1
 

also not what I ordered, but they were They were tasty is the only thing we have. Okay, you should change your menu, cause it seems like a big, diversified menu. Big sort of traveling around the world, You know what I mean? But it's all

0:39:46
spk_2
 

just kind of fat hot talk. Yeah, Yeah, pretty much. You look like you're going to get like, a pizza. Maybe you're gonna get some panda express, but it turns out just to be a huge hot now that can't fit in your mouth. So

0:39:56
spk_1
 

is this one of those places

0:39:57
spk_0
 

that treats you like crap on purpose? Like the in Chicago with those stocks? Last resort? Yeah.

0:40:04
spk_2
 

Oh, ask bite. You love asked

0:40:07
spk_1
 

Bip. I've never heard of asked my

0:40:10
spk_2
 

a s s b y t He's is that rascally dog, that's all. The dick's last resort mugs that's asked by a quick question how I don't want to talk more about asked bite

0:40:24
spk_3
 

you. You You you have a little dog you carry around a little fluffy dog. Is that an aspect?

0:40:30
spk_2
 

Land I named him asked by.

0:40:33
spk_3
 

And you you like that? Kind of in your face pun humor? Yeah, David the public in your face. Nous of it, right?

0:40:41
spk_2
 

Yeah. Well, you know, he's the dog I killed that sent me to hell. Uh, yeah, I name of Evin. Favorite dog asked. Bite. Uh, we'll fasten you. You, of course. Wait. Anything? We may not made it clear. You sort of run the food court here at this mall. You You're in charge of all of the restaurant kiosk? Yeah. I gotta run around every one of them and serve everybody. It's pretty. It's pretty hectic. I don't know if that is your job. You do that stuff. It

0:41:08
spk_0
 

seems like the restaurants are adequately staffed. But you kind of, like force your way into

0:41:15
spk_1
 

the delivering a slice of pizza. And they said, Sure, that'll be coming right out. Right? And I got this. I got a little man. Yeah, well, I shove that micromanager dailies. Tiny already hired a micromanager. I hired a back road manager to micromanage for me. Push the little man Who is the micromanager? Hold on. How many micro managers are there? They're

0:41:40
spk_2
 

micro managers. One that I've hired. And what would Thumbelina Sad man Teoh Bake the great big potato.

0:41:52
spk_1
 

Oh, that guy. Yeah,

0:41:55
spk_2
 

he's tightly Levi's easy to push around

0:41:57
spk_3
 

their fingers potatoes 50 times the size of your body. But it really only works for him.

0:42:03
spk_2
 

Exactly. He thought it was at his amazing idea when he opened the place, he that it was

0:42:08
spk_1
 

gonna be genius potatoes 50 times the size of your body. You got a lot of remember All the investors were just too scared to say anything. It's like, is this PC to turn this death? I know. I have to give him my millions now. Yeah, He was heavily funded out off, Phil.

0:42:28
spk_2
 

People didn't know how to say low,

0:42:29
spk_1
 

so that's crazy. You hired

0:42:31
spk_0
 

a micromanager. That's typically a bad term that people don't want. You sought that out.

0:42:36
spk_2
 

Well, I've taken back the micromanager,

0:42:38
spk_1
 

and I say, What did you ask

0:42:40
spk_0
 

for when you when you were interviewing that micromanager?

0:42:44
spk_2
 

Well, I just laid out a bunch of papers and I said, I'm gonna do this myself and

0:42:51
spk_1
 

I let them, you know, money active When the most

0:42:54
spk_2
 

forward micro managers would say none of that. I got this. I got this. I'll do this right now. And I would kind of put up roadblocks and try to get them to work with me. And the less they worked with me, the more I thought they'd be a good micromanage.

0:43:05
spk_1
 

It's all of us to see if you could be micromanaged.

0:43:08
spk_2
 

Yes. I didn't tell them that going and go into it. I said, I want a collaborative man. I think that they're good at healthy. Broke the road. Absolute.

0:43:19
spk_3
 

Now I don't want toe assume anything. But when he when a tiny guy walked in, did you just go? That's my guy.

0:43:27
spk_1
 

I mean, what way? That's it. That's a different guy. I

0:43:32
spk_3
 

thought they were both time.

0:43:33
spk_1
 

No, the micromanager is

0:43:35
spk_0
 

normal size, right? But then there's a little man

0:43:39
spk_3
 

who were tired. Tiny man,

0:43:41
spk_1
 

What time he showed up for the

0:43:42
spk_0
 

small manager position but is called a micromanager because he's so

0:43:46
spk_2
 

Yeah, But I did say that's my guy when I sound the time, he'd be easy to push around, especially with the man I hired to push people around. I say I say,

0:43:56
spk_3
 

Have you been interacting with the assistant manager?

0:44:00
spk_2
 

Well, let me tell you, it makes me giggle every time. Tha s a man with a big thick. But I was that I got no, But you don't have a but at

0:44:12
spk_0
 

all, it's Ah, beanpole. Yeah. So you hired him off of your butt absence. You hired a man who's got a big chunky but who wears big khakis and he tightens his belt assed Titus. He

0:44:23
spk_1
 

can You been to the Sbarro, right? He works at the fanciest. He shapes a place in the mall photo realistically, like an hour glass figure. And you can actually tell time by how red he's getting in his thorax. Yeah,

0:44:42
spk_2
 

he gets very mad. And so if you keep making Imad you comptel

0:44:45
spk_1
 

time and he does have a thorax like a man. Yeah, he has a nexus cop is not a sin

0:44:53
spk_2
 

and assistant manager. It's Aston Manager tested man assist and manager manager.

0:45:03
spk_3
 

Also, he's got

0:45:04
spk_1
 

that sits in the most normal person waiting. So yeah, there's a really fucked up, crazy looking guy working at the spire that you hired. It's like potato, potato, potato, potato.

0:45:16
spk_4
 

That's a good

0:45:16
spk_0
 

restaurant to a lot of lot of too

0:45:18
spk_2
 

much potato in this food court, if you ask me. Yeah, they're all hot. Doug's

0:45:22
spk_3
 

well, but that's your choice right now. Before

0:45:27
spk_1
 

you died from l two

0:45:30
spk_0
 

on work release. Correct?

0:45:31
spk_2
 

Yeah. I'm hoping to get out of hell.

0:45:33
spk_3
 

Yeah. You're trying to work enough that maybe they move you into purgatory.

0:45:37
spk_1
 

And you've been

0:45:38
spk_2
 

You've been your sentence has been lengthened for bad behaviors. I correct. Yeah, I've been a bad, bad boy. Paxton wallops Been a bad boy.

0:45:49
spk_3
 

Some people have been saying that you are purposefully bad just so you can say that catch phrase. What

0:45:55
spk_2
 

you're saying all the banners I have hung around the mall food court. Paxton while of the bed and boy purpose.

0:46:02
spk_3
 

Yeah, you're a pressure about boy. You're like you're eating a lolly.

0:46:06
spk_1
 

Podd Cheeky here. Not bad. You ever see that little

0:46:10
spk_2
 

girl were the Berber dog on the center

0:46:12
spk_1
 

screen pulling down her underwater? That the dog is a perfect I think I just made a mistake.

0:46:17
spk_2
 

So I assume the dog was deliberately bullied and that

0:46:20
spk_4
 

you thought the

0:46:20
spk_1
 

dog was trying to eat that girl's ass. Well,

0:46:23
spk_2
 

I didn't want to say it. Yeah,

0:46:25
spk_1
 

that is a perverted dog. I don't I Look, I'm gonna be leather in that sunscreen on even more. Now, where do you put this on? Uh, where do you put the sunscreen on my feet and my sex on your feet? Yeah. Maybe it'll get barred up, Paxton. That's great. You're obviously you've

0:46:47
spk_0
 

done a lot with the food court. Most people are saying negative, but

0:46:50
spk_1
 

have you ventured much outside of it?

0:46:52
spk_0
 

You know you're going to other parts of the mall.

0:46:54
spk_1
 

What do you do on break? I

0:46:55
spk_2
 

kind of wander around. See there any sales going on? There was a 20% on sale at the bass Pro shops way better than what they charge the employees, I hear.

0:47:08
spk_0
 

Yes. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, A little bit better. Um,

0:47:12
spk_3
 

on earth. What? What were you doing before you died? Where were you? In the hot dog industry? Uh,

0:47:18
spk_2
 

no, I always wanted to be okay. I have achieved my dreams. Inhale.

0:47:25
spk_3
 

Oh, well, so your hell is actually a bit of a heaven other than the running around.

0:47:29
spk_2
 

Well, then that makes sense. Why you would want the bad behavior and still to stay longer. Yeah. I mean, I used to be a pediatric dermatology. Really? Dr Wallop, that

0:47:39
spk_1
 

makes you look good. That Tom's face. Oh, yeah. Does that look like he has bumps or tattoos on

0:47:44
spk_2
 

this face? Let me get a closer look.

0:47:46
spk_3
 

Uh, see this, Doug. Life acting I have here or on the back, it's as, ah, don't need no wife. Um,

0:47:56
spk_1
 

Zannex is cool. It says that school, most of

0:48:00
spk_2
 

your pimples when you've gotten them before. Usually coming in different colors.

0:48:05
spk_3
 

No, this is the first time. Maybe

0:48:08
spk_1
 

it's hard for you to tell

0:48:08
spk_2
 

because he's not a kid. It's also hard for me to tell because my eyes were picked up by crows when I got to hell.

0:48:13
spk_3
 

Oh, you got the crow? I punishment.

0:48:15
spk_1
 

Yeah, you sort of got the classic hell treatment. Yeah, well, just for them

0:48:18
spk_3
 

all. Yeah, right. So you've seen them all. You've been in health since the mall idea. Kind of came up in the work release program, came up. How long was the crow pecking For? 13 14 years. Wow. You must have been really bad on Earth. You killed

0:48:33
spk_2
 

a dog is a bad, bad, bad boy. I was a bad boy.

0:48:39
spk_1
 

You sound like you like

0:48:40
spk_2
 

this. I don't like it. Bad boy. Hate it. You're

0:48:44
spk_1
 

putting your fingers in your dimples Time, my mouth throat. Well, you're taking off yourself there. Not having like, a little schoolboy outfit on the way. This is getting weird. There's no, like, famous Catholic schoolboy outfit like that. You're acting like, you know? I mean, what do you mean? There's no famous Get Alex, You're acting like a little sheepish Catholic schoolgirl, but you're just like a little fat boy. It's not.

0:49:14
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's like it's closer. Maybe like a sailor outfit stereotype. But you did not go for that at a

0:49:19
spk_2
 

little fat boy. I'm a widow, Fatboy and bad.

0:49:25
spk_3
 

This is almost my hell is seeing you behave this way. It was like toe Punish me. It's upsetting to look

0:49:31
spk_2
 

at a man with no eyes and a danish dog licking a lollipop holes in his mouth Catholic schoolboy out

0:49:40
spk_3
 

Hey, you're doing like your choreographed dance That, like is If you're in the hit me baby one more time Music

0:49:46
spk_2
 

video years to learn that day I'm a bad dancer.

0:49:51
spk_1
 

Well, you know, Bridget Spears is

0:49:52
spk_0
 

gonna be here next week. Really? Yeah. He's because it yes break because in Britain's tallest cousin is really hitting the charts. Um,

0:50:03
spk_2
 

you put in a good word for for what may be a music video or something. You want to be in the music video? I've been learning this Damn

0:50:11
spk_1
 

what you gonna do? Just bring a fat hot dog. I

0:50:13
spk_2
 

mean, yes, obviously arcade are all forced my catering on the shoot. But I also do dance

0:50:20
spk_1
 

is absolutely I mean, she is shooting

0:50:22
spk_0
 

her video next week. I heard Hit me, baby one more time Parentheses, the the top of the door. So she wants the top of the door to hit her in the forehead, The top of the door sill. ITT's very

0:50:39
spk_1
 

interested to see what I did it again. Top of the door. Yeah, Yeah, You

0:50:44
spk_2
 

lucky. Take the top of a door. Hollywood girl.

0:50:47
spk_1
 

Crazy. I keep walking into the top of the door. Yeah, I don't know what's

0:50:52
spk_0
 

going on with kids these days. We're being taller. School.

0:50:54
spk_1
 

But Pakistan, You did do something really cool for the food

0:50:58
spk_0
 

court. You brought in a carousel down near the end of the dining area to sort of, like, add some fun mall stuff. Um, and

0:51:08
spk_1
 

that was a good thing

0:51:10
spk_0
 

for them all. Yeah, yeah,

0:51:11
spk_1
 

but it's got riel. Horses tied up.

0:51:13
spk_2
 

Yeah, riel horses tied up in a poll through their

0:51:15
spk_1
 

body. That's really I mean, it's it's quite a It's quite scary, I said. I

0:51:21
spk_2
 

really buried the lead on that,

0:51:23
spk_1
 

I think, because while there's but they had a horror dead and their heads just sort of hair beard, dead horses that are being drug around by a electric motor, there's a motor drain with It was okay with

0:51:38
spk_2
 

it. With with a thing like that, like a pony carousel like that normally it's the horses or the ponies that are causing the thing to rotate. But no, these air dead. So you you got a motor in there that's spinning those dead horses around.

0:51:51
spk_0
 

It is a double decker, so it's there on top of each other. It's hard

0:51:55
spk_3
 

if you get if you get one of the bottom horses, your your sandwich between todo

0:52:01
spk_1
 

that horse, which, and that's a horse with that was from

0:52:06
spk_0
 

your your book of jokes, right?

0:52:08
spk_3
 

Yes, yeah, I

0:52:09
spk_0
 

wrote you submitted for the food court? Um tutorial.

0:52:14
spk_2
 

Yeah, I loved horse jokes for horse

0:52:16
spk_1
 

folks That's fucked up. That needs to be cleaned out because I'm having people that's fucked up. Know that the horse, the horse, that riel horse carousel complimented

0:52:28
spk_2
 

me on it a second ago?

0:52:29
spk_4
 

Well, yeah,

0:52:30
spk_1
 

I was a big mistake. It was that you were a big mistake. I was big news. I said it was a good thing, But then it turned

0:52:37
spk_0
 

out to be a horrifying things. I'm now saying it's

0:52:39
spk_1
 

bad. They fill that

0:52:42
spk_0
 

hole in the end of the place.

0:52:44
spk_1
 

Think itself is disgusting. But there was Jared over. Sure, it took up space is horrifying thing took up a blank room just a little empty. So you put a bunch of dead horses that now, at least it doesn't feel empty. Yeah, I like it. To what? The CDC is

0:52:58
spk_0
 

here and that they have a full CDC has a full tent down there. There's some new disease, apparently.

0:53:04
spk_3
 

Yeah. Yeah. I think you created a new disease down there

0:53:07
spk_1
 

calling it mad horse disease. Yeah, I think

0:53:10
spk_2
 

so. Yeah. I think it may also have title. Yeah, maybe. What? Maybe there's another. Well, there is a contest. You know, you submit your favorite name for

0:53:18
spk_1
 

the CBC's pitching it around right now. They're not locked into this. I noticed

0:53:23
spk_3
 

you really stuff that suggestion you

0:53:26
spk_1
 

I pulled. You mean? I think you saw a man with no ass Catholic school boys out with holding

0:53:33
spk_2
 

his mouth on other things that you remember with a mustache hat. Different people that tired.

0:53:40
spk_3
 

So you think the mustache in that made it look like a different

0:53:43
spk_2
 

guy? Todd, you're not one to call him out on a bad disguise, buddy. That's I'm

0:53:46
spk_3
 

sorry. I've never wanted disguise.

0:53:48
spk_1
 

Uh, Todd, you working? But I know they're obvious. They don't even classifies disguised. It's just outfits. Uh, look Webster's defines disguise at Webster defines this guy's also you still read a Webster. What is

0:54:04
spk_0
 

Guinness to find the skies? That's right. That's what I mean.

0:54:06
spk_3
 

I read the Guinness Book of Definition.

0:54:08
spk_1
 

Ah, his divination I get is the Taurus

0:54:14
spk_3
 

gets the thesaurus, which is all. It's all the fat twin on a bike of a different word.

0:54:21
spk_2
 

Sounds like a carousel built.

0:54:25
spk_3
 

What, um, is your goal, Aziz Faras? My big question is do you think that this bad little boy thing here's the thing we struggle with is we all do a big thing like that because we're afraid to just have a personality eyes, this bad little boy thing, Like a way for you to kind of be labeled because you don't want people to know the real you because we love you. We love your family. Yeah, you're so important to

0:54:53
spk_1
 

you is really the most fucked up one of

0:54:55
spk_0
 

your family. You're the black sheep.

0:54:58
spk_2
 

Well, I'm a little bit of an outsider. Yeah, uh, I may not. Look, guys, I you know, we know each other pretty well. We're going around the food court a while. I

0:55:09
spk_0
 

That's knowing someone pretty well, but yeah,

0:55:10
spk_2
 

yeah. Wait a minute. Crazy in the food

0:55:14
spk_1
 

court, some customers have seen you at your job. I've run

0:55:17
spk_2
 

into replace of food that you border was Udawatte on multiple occasions,

0:55:21
spk_4
 

we know each

0:55:22
spk_2
 

other Well, you know, I I do feel like I can't be the real me. I feel like this bad boy things.

0:55:31
spk_1
 

Oh, what? Don't fart. It's

0:55:38
spk_2
 

weird cause I don't have a

0:55:39
spk_1
 

but Oh, yeah, you have about a whole now. I thought you just, you know, didn't have a lot of meat now in his colostomy bag. Yeah, I guess I didn't. I thought that was t Oh, me too. I know what Steaming and Wisley. I boarded the bug and wrap both hands around and considering it slow. That's your diarrhea. What you speak of Baxter? Well, you have a bad, bad God. Jesus. I had a cold. I put Theraflu and your diarrhea is chilling out. Yeah,

0:56:19
spk_2
 

I've been baiting people. I've been hanging my colostomy kettle Right front. Open somebody. What? Today would bend down.

0:56:26
spk_1
 

How do you keep it so hot? No, You

0:56:29
spk_2
 

know the human body when it's in the hell is 400 degrees hotter Oau. I didn't know that exact figure that it would vaporize you.

0:56:39
spk_1
 

Why marriage are these new Diary of Apes Trick some of these kids can do is insane. Yeah, What is it? Looked cool, but it smells school. I love

0:56:49
spk_3
 

you. Pull a bookstore

0:56:50
spk_1
 

Smells so cool. I love a cool smell. What's the coolest smell? Diarrhea Risky enough. And she enough to blow out. You know what else is a cool smell? Gas. That is cool. Poison gas You're saying? Yeah,

0:57:08
spk_4
 

man from the

0:57:09
spk_3
 

car. Your car,

0:57:14
spk_4
 

Teoh, I'll go

0:57:18
spk_1
 

home. And just to be cool, lay down in my bed and stick my shoe right on my face. Oh, my God! I saw you the other day about your teenagers crowd around you went Oh! Oh, Ground. Well, I just been to the gym for three hours on. I only went the sauna didn't work out. I think you are. You say super sticky boots, right? Stinky boots. Have you

0:57:41
spk_4
 

guys seen

0:57:42
spk_1
 

my bride? Right place. You see the audition for it? Did you know? Will you do well, you just say a little bit of staking boots for our do stinky Bush. I forget. What? Everything. That's in it. Yeah. You for everything from your blood. Maybe one of you guys like it. No, it's so

0:58:03
spk_3
 

I don't know anything about it.

0:58:04
spk_1
 

Said it was. It was, uh what Protopapas. What's the opposite of won awards through a lot of pans. Bad My stinky.

0:58:19
spk_3
 

Which was? They invented a theater Razzies first in queue boots

0:58:27
spk_2
 

we're about it. Felt like we were about to make a breakthrough with Paxton before we got distracted.

0:58:31
spk_1
 

Way we're about to cry. But then we What? We didn't realize that diary. I never need to.

0:58:39
spk_2
 

Now you realize that every right sounded like a but yeah, you know, it's not a big deal. I don't We don't need to open up with each other, right?

0:58:48
spk_3
 

Well, it must. It must be tough for you, cause for us, a lot of our families are in hell. But your whole family did go to heaven. Eso you kind of just Yeah. Yeah. You famous? Everyone knows your family went toe. Have

0:59:01
spk_2
 

Yeah. Yeah, Well, it was a big split. It was a big divide when I killed all my family and my dog. Well, the dog was a lot it. So the dog went to hell with me, but

0:59:11
spk_1
 

it was a murder suicide.

0:59:12
spk_2
 

It was or a It was just a murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder,

0:59:19
spk_3
 

then killed by the cops later on.

0:59:21
spk_1
 

Yeah, you really? I mean, I don't know

0:59:23
spk_0
 

if this was your intention, but you celebrated big. You said like I won my family's dead. Things will be great for me forever. Yeah. And then they ascended to heaven right in front of your eyes.

0:59:34
spk_1
 

Watch TV set up straight to hell.

0:59:37
spk_2
 

Yeah. Yeah. Hole opened up in the ground and I just went plummeting. It felt, you know, I feel a little bad about the way the way I did that.

0:59:45
spk_3
 

Well, uh, you did kind of get your wish because all the headlines were bad. Little boy kills family,

0:59:52
spk_2
 

learned my

0:59:53
spk_1
 

lesson. You need to do this for us. We know let for you shaking your but I like a little boy on

1:00:04
spk_0
 

a cartoon pig at the same

1:00:06
spk_2
 

time saying, You know, Pakistan, can I be honest with you? I The other day I was Ah, When I was on my lunch break, I went to the bathroom in the food court. And, uh, I heard you in the stall, so I

1:00:19
spk_3
 

heard you. Well, listen to

1:00:22
spk_2
 

you were listening to may take a

1:00:23
spk_1
 

do you know, practice in the past book here. Don't pass. I'm not a graft pastor. That bug on sale? Nah. How much? $400.

1:00:36
spk_2
 

No, I got a coupon for 400 more.

1:00:39
spk_1
 

A really, dear. That has been fucked up and sewn back into a football. Passed the No. Paxton. I didn't listen to

1:00:50
spk_2
 

you, Dukie. Obviously you don't make Dukie sounds because you've got a colostomy kettle. I

1:00:55
spk_3
 

Yeah, when you're going to the bathroom. Green Day's Dukie plays from beginning to end.

1:00:59
spk_1
 

That doesn't fool anybody. I

1:01:01
spk_2
 

heard you. I heard you whimpering in the in the stall next to mission. Well, it was hard at the volume at which you were whimpering. It

1:01:09
spk_1
 

was hard with those parabolic microphones with the big, you know, think you were clearly I would have gotten it. Had to do some

1:01:16
spk_2
 

repair work on it. Somebody dropped it off and they were coming in later that afternoon to get their parabolic microphone fixed for Ebola. And I brought it into the bathroom and I Okay, I did listen, but I heard you did. I heard you having a a squared plus b squared C squared. I heard you have what I can only describe as a lot of most triangle Any more geometry references from the group?

1:01:41
spk_0
 

Like was them explosive? Remember that?

1:01:45
spk_2
 

But anyway, hygienic equation. OK, Paxton, you're trying to distract from the

1:01:51
spk_1
 

fact that I have heard the reason he was crying is because we have heard rumors

1:01:55
spk_0
 

that your work release is not getting renewed. And that's it for you. Yeah. Yeah. The

1:02:00
spk_3
 

rumor mill is abuzz with this.

1:02:02
spk_2
 

Yeah, I'm a little nervous. I'm afraid to leave. Hell, wait. What happens if it's not real oot If you get to stay in, you stay in hell every day, all day. Oh, yeah, It's bad for me and help. She seems like you wanted. I hate it here. I hope they kicked me out of here.

1:02:17
spk_1
 

You know, people who want to be

1:02:19
spk_0
 

in hell they don't want. So you got to be cool about this.

1:02:21
spk_3
 

Yeah, yeah. If they find out you want to be in hell, they'll send you straight to having with your family is likely, which is your help.

1:02:28
spk_1
 

Because for some people haven't

1:02:29
spk_0
 

is their personal health. That's right. That's what

1:02:32
spk_2
 

I was crying about. The bathroom. Modestly. I thought I was going to be sent to heaven. Ah, yeah,

1:02:39
spk_0
 

I doubt it. I mean, I down it You're pretty straight laced with gold up there. Yeah. Oh, I wish. Yeah. ST Peter ST Angels Walking on a cloud, uh, up harps, Gereb

1:02:57
spk_1
 

wire. I think you need to confront this emotion there. OK, The Backstreet Boys.

1:03:03
spk_0
 

The best man. Hendrix on lead.

1:03:06
spk_2
 

Look, I just feel bad that if I don't want to face my family again after what I did to him,

1:03:11
spk_0
 

that would be a tougher union. Yeah,

1:03:13
spk_2
 

but do you think maybe I found out when I have faced when I finally faced my family? Well, I never faced my family. I faced my mom's new family. So it's the man calling the colostomy kettle black.

1:03:25
spk_1
 

Okay. No, I don't know. Proud. I don't

1:03:29
spk_2
 

have any emotions that I need to address. I think I I think everyone else does. I thank you for sure packs, and they need to deal with some stuff. Uh, and other at me, for example. I don't know what the

1:03:42
spk_3
 

new normal is. We deal with our issues

1:03:44
spk_0
 

now. Yes, right ahead on that's right, Security. And you can rely on me. What? What? What?

1:03:52
spk_2
 

Bottling them up. If

1:03:53
spk_3
 

you bottle him up, you just end up. I'm happy, like all of us. Maybe. Have you ever thought about why? Whenever anyone asks you for something, no matter what they asked for, you bring them a fat, bad hot dog instead.

1:04:06
spk_2
 

Go figure that I never It doesn't have that.

1:04:08
spk_3
 

What is it that you need?

1:04:10
spk_1
 

Look, I mean, that must be an external expression of my anguish for the bathroom code. The other day you said you said I got a hot and they said, No, no, no. The bathroom dog Hot dog got done. Okay, well, I mean, that CO did work. You change? Have you read my book? All the buttons to hot dogs instead of numbers. Did anybody read my book? The bathroom code e for firewood?

1:04:43
spk_3
 

Yeah, used by Dan Brown and brown was underlined three times.

1:04:50
spk_1
 

Redwood. That's left. That's my Putin and ah Ah,

1:04:56
spk_2
 

your nom de plume e did read it. I loved

1:05:03
spk_1
 

it. Five Pretty good, right? The mystery is still unsolved. I thought that I left it in their own flesh is that you were the funny haircut on the government. Oh, yeah? So why? Well, it's a Billy, said

1:05:21
spk_4
 

Mona Lisa, But something's not

1:05:22
spk_1
 

quite right here. Yeah, it's May. What was

1:05:27
spk_2
 

your face and cover a lot of the book jacket.

1:05:30
spk_1
 

Well, the book jacket. Everybody knows

1:05:32
spk_0
 

it's it. It's terrible

1:05:35
spk_3
 

for your book jacket was it didn't fit me too well. The

1:05:39
spk_1
 

little small. It's a down jacket.

1:05:42
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's huge like it's huge, small, I would say down, but it's

1:05:48
spk_1
 

so thick that it's huge. But the inside is very small. It's about the size

1:05:52
spk_0
 

of like, you know, a Children's jacket. You

1:05:54
spk_3
 

have to be a micromanager fit into this

1:05:57
spk_2
 

one of the times of micromanage. Yes, the tidy ones. Tiny

1:06:01
spk_4
 

ones. When does

1:06:03
spk_0
 

your work release end? It's not soon, is it? It's not today.

1:06:08
spk_2
 

Well, it is a now. Oh, no, I get it. I'm getting a call. Who is it? He's gonna call on his sidekick. Look on my micromanager. My sidekick.

1:06:27
spk_1
 

Okay, Small little tiny man is giving

1:06:30
spk_2
 

him a phone. Okay, living here is that my work release is today. It's today, but they don't know what it means.

1:06:43
spk_1
 

The whole opening up in the floor. No, no, no, no, no. I e o I way to put

1:07:06
spk_3
 

the fire out by stop rocking and rolling.

1:07:08
spk_2
 

You know, we put the fire because Paxson fell through the whole again.

1:07:11
spk_1
 

That was the fires of hell.

1:07:12
spk_2
 

That was the fire is

1:07:13
spk_4
 

still some fingers. I said what? What should we tell the people to? The food

1:07:20
spk_1
 

court could go on through a fat hot dog. How? Give him on dogs. I don't keep this whole open, but they build a merry go round with dead horses. Jesus! Last words, right? It's so scratchy.

1:07:34
spk_4
 

One last one. Last little bit of colostomy.

1:07:39
spk_0
 

He's got all Bill shit. Have a sip of is too. Ah, Well, man, well,

1:07:46
spk_3
 

that's horrifying. That that could happen to us.

1:07:48
spk_1
 

Yeah, so I guess we got

1:07:49
spk_0
 

to do a good job

1:07:51
spk_3
 

is like a worse hell you can fall into

1:07:53
spk_2
 

Yeah. Yes, I guess I guess working at the mall is the sort of top level of hell. And if you do poorly, then it gets worse. So So this

1:08:01
spk_1
 

is kind of a reverse purgatory. We're kind of on the mezzanine.

1:08:06
spk_2
 

Yeah. This is like Dante's Inferno. Where further down in hell you go, the worse the criminals are. I guess we're on the top level. And if we want to stay here, we have toe not be

1:08:15
spk_4
 

bad. Little boy.

1:08:16
spk_1
 

He's a Laxton. Would there

1:08:18
spk_4
 

be little billboards? No, Monk. That's what my daddy says I am. My daddy says That's what I say. My kids are you? My daddy always said, You're doing all right, I guess. And everything they ever did. I've only seen the back of my father's had They're cut, is so bad studies air cut. So, guys, I guess the moral of this story is way have to be. We have to be good at our jobs if we have to stay in the mall and or else we might end up in really worse Hill. I'm fine by the way out.

1:09:02
spk_1
 

Snap out of it. What? Percy, You are all place. She's crying. Come on, get it together. We're good. Yeah, we're for getting promoted. Passed the buck. Yeah. You are doing a great job. Footings. Dirt on the floor.

1:09:20
spk_2
 

and I fix that parabolic microphone that he is to Rio.

1:09:24
spk_3
 

I'm putting on a big show next week. Why did Spears open with the opener? Maybe closer. We'll see Podd Tadre

1:09:32
spk_1
 

and you're doing fantastic. There's been no criminal actively. Dibley absolutely turns out that truck that I drive is completely ineffective. And I haven't changed anything. Well, that's a we had to just keep, you know,

1:09:46
spk_3
 

way Didn't have a realization. Nice. Keep growing the same. We'll just

1:09:50
spk_2
 

keep going. No revelations or anything like that. We just have to

1:09:53
spk_1
 

get you going to be

1:09:54
spk_0
 

a promise if I ever change or grow it. All your fucking shooting. I saw some personal growth and I slapped it right off. Yeah, I appreciate that.

1:10:03
spk_2
 

That's not what this sees.

1:10:05
spk_1
 

Nobody would believe me in

1:10:06
spk_2
 

the dust. No, this season is not about us facing our realities and becoming better. Man, this is just about doing a job and being normal and in our new normals. Okay, so that's that's all. As as usual, the teacher's lounge. As as people we will never change. Yeah, but we never change. We will never

1:10:23
spk_1
 

have a strange way. But we

1:10:26
spk_2
 

will be back next week, folks, with another episode on until then. Okay,

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