Hello. Bali's and welcome to the bleachers. Large. What's up?

Classic home run in It hasn't been on a big league speaker

system in a wired

not know. Um uh, I have been trying to do that, you know, after my career. Hey, throw me on the speakers.

You You went to Vin Scully's house and said, Let me get on the mic, baby.

Yes, it. Come on, Thin, you old bag. Let me on their dogs. You

are my Jonah than here.

So, I mean, what is age but a number? I looked

never think old guys said he

saying that I hear you over say that two women around you overseas

brought a number. Yeah, well, yeah, because, you know, it's like I look old, but everybody says to me, they're like, Oh, happy birthday. Your 68 years young and I say, Oh, they said young. So I must not be old. They're not talking down to me, right?

No, that china make you feel a little bit better. I don't

know. Uh, although a home run, Henderson fades out there. Age ain't nothing but a number

that is so r Kelly song, by the way. Oh, Yeah, you're in bad company. Those terms I'm not talking about the band. I was in for a minute. Bad company.

So the bill you does?

Yeah. Well, I mean, somebody's gotta play second base. Hey, that's a double entendres.

Yeah, which brings us right back ta podcast about baseball's rather bleaches.

Welcome to the bleachers. Loud. I'm your host. Home run. Henderson Samed MLB loser on. I'm here in the dugout with my with my boys introduced yourselves. Fellows,

we're stuff guys. This how Phillips here, uh, my son Travis plays in the Little League. I'm super stoked to talk about stuff that you guys know. I got a lot on my mind. I always got a lot on my mind, So I'm glad to be in the booth.

That's right. The second guy with big opinions. Cliff Mountains. My son Travis also plays on the Astros. We have a very similar life, right. How?

Hello. My name is Doug Ascoli. For Children, for boys. Two sets of twins born on the same day left

eternal twins fat, eternal twins. They were born premature but overweight. They also play on the

Astros. A lot of good buddies on the bleachers in here. It's a new year.

This year they redrew the districts. We were really excited.

We Jerry Man district because we were thinking, You know, what's more

fun than doing a podcast with With With other Little League dad's? How about other Little League dads who have kids on the same team? Is your

we the shape of our district? Cause

we all

live in four opposite corners of town? It does look like a Penis. And that was an accident.

Way I couldn't draw a Penis if you made may not with a gun.

Just all the red lines on that redistricting paper.

The red line.

A lot of phone, funny shaped

sticks. Very like, uh, thick red lines. Well, I forgot to mention my son. My wife, Sudden James, also plays for the Astros. Uh, we're happy to finally be hosted this podcast with our sons and spouses, sons all on the same team.

Yeah, this is really, really excited. You know, we could all fight the same fights. Yes, we can all

look the same on

stream with much, uh, play tricks on the same opposing coaches. It za really good, good situation.

That's in your thing this season is the coach tricks, which I have been. Love it. I've been loving

yes, funding for the parents. It's no holds barred. It doesn't. It happens at all times. It is not necessarily

during the games there long trick, and it has escalated quickly.

That's right. Yes,

well, the best thing about a prank is it's all bad for one person and all funny for the other. One person is humiliated and suffered. And then the person pranking gets to tell a fun story about how cool they are.

Yeah, it's just so good. It's also a one way street. In this case, we ain't got to worry about these guys coming back at us. We just get to go with them. If you bring me, I'll kick your fucking yes, right. The Pirates coaches the coldest sack to get to his house, thanks to a couple of us is now a one way street. Got in a head on accident with a senior Sina bus. Yes, senior center bus

star, old sinners, way signs around town and led them straight from their center center into this coldest act.

It was heavily influenced by the film Italian job where they're controlling the traffic. We said we could do

family, and that name is the Napster.

That's right. Everybody knows it. I am

the guy who actually invented Napster.

And it's a complicated situation because in the movie Seth Green's character says he invented after in real life you say you had been in

that. I think they stole the movie from me stealing it from Napster.

That's That's a That's a double joke that it's complicated.

We know you ended LimeWire. That's right. You hosted too

many disgusting video. That's right. What do you get? A two? I thought it was free for all you know. They said, put up whatever you like. Apparently not true. Wrong. Huge videos. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to say? Nothing about the

content. Just I'm a little too scared

to get into. The kind

of the main issue was not the content. It was. You were uploaded Videos that were so long. Yeah, The bandwidth was just unholy

doble. Someone titled Stew. Cocky, Cocky. And this is, uh, dumping Sukit on people spaces. That's right. That's right. It's a play on disgusting porno. But it's funny. Okay, now, was this a trick? One of the other coaches too Cocky was a chance ago. Years ago? LimeWire? Yeah, with LimeWire. We pranked the Phillies coat, right? And, you know, we found out he was into some nasty stuff, right? So we sent him some fake emails. We got him to fly to Russia. Oh, yeah. Horning man, there's no one more susceptible. You send them one picture of a girl in a bikini and then

back me? Yeah, here's myself. You fly away. It is the thing that everybody happens to everyone.

There's something with an ugly horny man's brain where the logic turns off it it suddenly like off course. The hot 21 year old is only interested in May,

and she's only got one photo on instagram A different country to meet. If okay, sounds good. This is much

better than continuing a good, healthy relationship with my wife.

Raise your hand if you've been tricked

by a a, uh, instagram account with one photo on it. Four followers. It's been there for a week and you send a money, raise your

hand for him

and this is you to listeners where you are hands in the

way we can hear it raises. Let's let's open this up. Looked up. There's up to everybody. Hands in

the air If you've ever been cat fished, Yes, Four hands up in the room. Home run! Hold in

Two hands. Uh, catfish and the catfish out of a bucket. That was next. He was ready for that.

Hands up.

Well, I'm currently being catfish. As you could see you, by definition, the bucket. I

not Who do you think that is? You think that's a lot?

Well, I am aware that I'm being catfish, but so but things were still cooking. You know,

this isn't playing that so Nieve showed up. You showed up to a a park, a gross little

park in the media middle of some nasty little city. And there was a catfish in a bucket there at a table, waiting on you.

That's right. That's right. So Nieve came to came over about three months, Max with him and even Maxwell together is a beautiful man with a nice haircut, a silvery hair and, uh,

run. You're still with the catfish.

Well, this was Neave was who I'm describing, but it s so they came over and I had been, you know, I've been emailing back and forth with somebody I had met on a fishing trip.

Where did you meet them? On the bait store. Clearly another huge. You met him over email on the fishing trip? Well, no, no, I

looked I by accident. I reeled him in and I said, Oh, I am so sorry, sir. Um, I s so I apologized. And, you know, we hit him off, and we hit it off in the boat. Uh, this guy took the bait amuse about an £8 a beautiful £8 man and nice whiskers and so, you know, gave me his email God gave him. Are

you are currently being? What was his

email? Uh, glug glug glug at glug. Glug. Glug.

Yeah, Well, glug, glug, glug glug gmail dot com. So I thought you want to see, you know, that's a good email. It's a funny guy. Uh, so we started emailing back and forth. What Dig leads to another. My wife and I are in couples therapy over this whole thing because I'm in love with this guy.

Oh, my God. Home. Right. And your

sons in love with your wife. That's right. My family slash couples thereby

suds in love with my first wife. This is my second wife is upset with me and it, but we're all in a big therapy, but I think I'm gonna work it out. I were working out with this catfish, I think.

Well, more power t home run. I I'm skeptical, to say the least, but I think it's good that at least you're approaching it from a healthy perspective.

I appreciate it, but that's a big news in the lounge right now. The league we just had the first week of the league going co it, uh, which I think was a fantastic choice. Yeah, and I think it worked out pretty well. I mean, there was some debate over if we should do. Sure, at least.

And in life. He was saying, Should girls be able to be in the frontline? A lot of people, One person being You okay? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have no

nobody representing a larger voice, but we haven't heard

anyone outside been getting a lot of tweets. I get a lot of tweets on Twitter. I've been getting a lot of text messages from random numbers saying, You gotta go to bat for these boys. And I was like, I was like, Listen, I don't know if I can be number,

Huh? Is the

number. You don't need to know the number. Okay. You don't need to know

what? The thing has also happened with your Twitter, where every once in a while there will be tweets coming from your Twitter. That what was your name again, huh? What was your name again?

At how Phillips under one

eye fills 2 to 1. So say I have Philip 2 to 1. You're doing the right thing, and then it'll be oops, tweeted from the wrong fake account.

That's crazy thing I share I am doing now. Siri. Seriously, from this Twitter Skype to reach twat. Todd, how did you misspell the

guys? Listen, I can explain this. I share my twitter the way that most people share Netflix. It's I give my a lot of you live your Twitter password and my twitter handle. So it's it's That's the real thing here. It's not It's not. I'm not accidentally tweeting because I didn't log into my burner account like that? Ah, like that Papadopoulos guy's wife just did on Twitter

recently. His wife, old coach of the 70 Sixers without the coaching Fladager.

No, no, no, It's just a lot of different people have the perspective that a coed league doesn't do the best thing for both boys and girls. Because is how? Because it is just your perspective, know its's. You have a giant group of people. I'm saying. At least 69,000 people in town have been

Photoshopped. We've seen the picture. It's photo group

photo. I took it a meet up. That is not a photo shop. That is a group photo I took in a meet up. And it just so happens every bodies bodies are equally proportioned in the same height.

Even the people that have different races have white hands in it. You did a bad photo shop

job. You can't. Are you saying that there's something wrong with people with that jalopy show? Our, uh, everybody in this group has not a specific at API shit to their hand. It's not Al appreciates. The

hair growth is the

one that M. J had a what's the weird, weird person. No, it's the one that makes the skin the melon and go away. He skin. Then we

had the magic in his feet. Listen. Anyway, listen, I employed. And this

isn't it all connected to when you joined a coed wrestling league and you lost to 75 women in a row?

Yeah, it's not related, though. Issue. There were no breaks in

between matches. One woman just came in after another and kick. Sure.

Well, I'm just saying I think one the structure of that the meat was completely unfair. It's completely unfair. And I say the reason that I got beaten 75 times in rows because I didn't have no recharge time.

You got beat on the 1st 1 and then the second

you're like performance art. Andy Kaufman, Did you see that? Did you see the first girl? Though? She was almost my size. You were like a weaker riel. Andy Kaufman. Okay, You know what, guys? I don't like that this behaves like you. How? Let's take a break this stressful. I need a hot Yeah, I need some. A heated there were obsessed with fate. Is that's my thing. We're gonna do

a quick seventh inning stretch. 13 minutes in. We'll be right back. Take an opportunity right now to stretch Epsom for heaters and take your set out to the ballgame. All right. Welcome back. Bali's hope you and your son enjoyed whatever game you went to. Uh, we've got a guest in the lounge today. Now, the goal was to have one of the new female players in the league do the show. But instead her mother showed up s So what? We were walking to the bleachers. Large. Carol! Jerome. Carol. Thanks for being here.

Oh, it's a real pleasure.

Thanks for being here. You've been showing up in your daughter's place a

lot. Yeah, yet? Well, Marcie broke her leg. Honor. Dad's weekend. I just want to point that out. And, uh yeah, and I said you know what, honey? We're not gonna lose this space on the team. I will play in your place.

Yes. You have been playing in your daughter's place in, and you're

very good. Thank you so much. How does

she feel about that? Does she like that you're filling in for

You know what?

She's at the age where I can't you know no means? Yes, you

know, And that's Ah, that's a tough line. Yeah. This day and age. No means yes.

You know what? As a woman, I feel like I can say that

I don't mean to call you out here, but I've been seeing you guys having conversations in the parking lot, and it sounds to me like she is a very hard No, She's like, Mom, do not do this. It's embarrassing to me. You already walk for me last year at graduation of middle school. Please don't

look now. In fairness to you, To me. Yeah. In fairness to me, I'd never had a middle school graduation. Because when I grew up, it was elementary school in junior high, so I'd only had elementary school and junior high graduates.

Junior High is the same thing. Is middle school. They just changed the name of

it. Well, middle school is 4th 5th and sixth.

Yes. So not only

did she walk, she rode in on a convertible like like in the back of the sort of back area, like a pageant queen.

In fairness to me, I just got in the convertible in the divorce and I just said, You know what, Marcie? I'm just going to show everybody that just

cause I'm

divorced, you know, and also to advertise me new real estate for

Oh, yeah? Well, this was the first divorce that I've seen where she had to buy you a convertible. It wasn't one that you goes both owned.

Yeah, I get the

new convertible. You classically said in the hearing

that he also paid for your new real estate firm.

Okay, Yeah, yeah. I seen a lot

of the advertising around town, and

I tried to think

of it Not rude way to ask this, but was that the only photo? Did you take multiple

that a photo shoot? Because it seems quickly taken and not your best angle. Well, thank you so much,

because that tells me that I am better looking than that photo, right? Yeah. Blurry. I wanted an action shot because that is the slogan for my real estate firmas

You can see the movement there, Carol, in action. I'm pretty sure that's a picture of you from a security camera when you rob the flash fruits

because we want my my thought was Look, it's gonna be highway robbery. When you buy a house with Carol, you know you're gonna feel like you're getting away

with it. A good deal,

right? You're known around

town, as you know, stealing, stealing from gas stations in plain sight and then running off. Okay? Yes,

you always said, But you do say this is for my daughter

her. Because in films, thieves are normally represented by men. And and so I want to show her. And now I'm going to be using that same speed on the baseball

diamond. Yes. Now, do

you think

that maybe there is a conflict of interest cause I do know that you have decided that your real estate company is going to sponsor your daughter's team And you got your name on the backs of the jerseys. The front of the jerseys pants, You got cleats. It seems like you're overly branding the team. At this point,

everyone's number on their jersey is now the price of a house that you're selling instead of their actual number.

Yeah, and I know it's confusing because the last name with all of them is zero. And so it's Gero gero for my daughter. Now for me, but

I like to

think, you know, any publicity is good publicity. And a lot of publicity is a lot of

Yeah. I mean, like, it's true, because the second base, the second baseman, there was a nice commercial space and I was going to open up a fajita restaurant called Laurita. Severe heat is

for my girlfriend. I was going to hitch

up, of course, and I saw that space on the second baseman and I went and took a look at it. You showed me around the space? Not quite perfect for my feet in places. No plumbing? No, it was Yeah, No plumbing,

riel, kitchen or place to eat cause it's it's just on top of the 13 year old boy.

Oh, no. The commercial space that no place was has plumbing. Hey, I have seen him urinate. Mint?

Yeah, he'll shit the field.

He will ship the vo

now, Uh,

how did you

get so athletic? Because it isn't just that you are an adult, and these are all kids.

Well, I do want to remind you that I am divorced, and I said, You know what? I'm not going to be one of this divorce is Just sits back at home in her convertible and ice cream. I'm going to take this convertible and I'm going to go to curves. I'm gonna lift a solid 18 minutes a day. Wow, that's

that's not even half the class. No. Did they give you

know it? So you leave earlier. Show up late. You know what? Alternate days on leg days. I show up late on arm days. I show up early.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

And then the speed just comes from, you know, robbing gas. Build

about. There's been some issue because last year they did do a little big league where they had adults playing with the kids, and they stop doing that because they don't. Teams were so good.

It was so obvious.

Yes, one today is one of the teams. Was just all of the 1997. Brave. That's right. They were very good. And also

who was in am of a a referee outfit.

I don't remember a little celebrity, remember?

Probably Jay Leno or something.

Yeah, but it was a

little bit Ric Flair. Uh, it was anyway. So you're what you're doing is against the rules, and they've said, If if you play one more game, the team will have to forfeit the season,

and I just want to say, Let's let's take a step back and look at what these rules are. You know? Time's up on these rules. Uh,

okay. I feel like

you're using a really great slogan for a weird call.

Or is it a weird slogan for

a great maybe not a great move, right? A weird Sloblo way. Still want the great slogan? Either way,

look, girls and women need to know the rules do not apply to them, right? That that's what we're changing around.

Okay, wait. Did come with a very hefty donation.

And the rule there was a caveat was made for you.

Thank you. Yes. Yes,

I know. It's good to see that you are still doing financially. All right, cause you had Caroline action on. And you Did you see a dot com Aziz your website. And so you're in a litigious Warren lawsuit with the CIA.

I am. And luckily, um, you know, my husband is he's a good man. He's a good man with some problems, and he is funding that lawsuit. And that was with the judge decreed. And so it takes a long as it takes is what I say

And they're still call him your husband.

Thank you for catching that. I still consider him my husband, Ideo. And maybe that's not fair to Cheryl, who's his new wife, but, um yeah.

Wow. Cheryl Cheryl. Yeah, That must hit close to home for you.

It did it. And I did talk to her about changing her name.

Hurry What? She's Yeah, her whole singing

career's built on it. She, Cheryl Crow. Like, I don't think she can change.

But to me, the crow is the part that

grows the memorable baby.

Everybody just thinks of her escrow.

Pretty sure No, no, no. It was And

she died on set and came back. Bless you. Got shot in a stunt. All right.

That was Brendan Lee. That was firstly, son.

Well, your

movie the crow, which you screened locally, which was a little bit of both very look, the most local you could be screened, which was in the town square on one of those TVs from the middle school that you liked role in. Yeah,

and there was security footage was a lot of that

ended up being a lot of your robberies. You got the tape switch stuff you re arrested? Yes.

A lot of the screening was you. Oh, shoot. Not that one either. Uh, kind of bubbly with all the tapes.

Stack of VHS is with mostly your robberies on that.

Yes, Yes. Again, I just want to teach the girls that there's a lesson. But we also got some security footage of me going around My husband's on his new wife's house.

They caught it. You didn't get it stolen. Throw

their That was their nest films. The house

that Yes. So we we did you some of the nest

footage as well. And why? Why use that footage from Sheryl Crow's Nest Crows? Wow!

Wow! Wow, Wow. Not forgive you for your terrible stance on women. Just by my stance is fine on with its fine. That's right. It's not good.

You have a best average states on women for modern America. That is not a good

any doubt that here, can I? Your email

Facebook status to start Girl's a sh Merle's yes, girls. Merle's Listen, I'm trying to say, Look, we're all different, Okay? Girls it's Murrell's. But I like that the boys are like He's saying women. Merle's boys are boys and girls boys avoid. It's clearly bad. I've got Carol. I'm

glad you're here honestly, because there's a lot of masculine energy in the lounge here

on these guys. These guys thes guys.

Don't let me get a word in edgewise when it comes to the state, they want to tell me that I'm wrong. OK, I look it. I think that the what that means, yeah, well, it seems that way. I think that the making the league coed put the boys and girls at a disadvantage because you can't evenly matched because there's inherent things that a different about boys and different about girls. It's like and you point that out with a weird slideshow before every game. That's like health class. It's

weird. I just want to make sure everybody knows what

they're getting into. When the games start.

I did want to say I don't think there should be a slide show. I think it would be a live action. Should we have a boys and girls there? Why not use them like, really

lay in Chile, a girl like, do skits with him? Yeah, absolutely. And just show on their own bodies. What's different?

Yeah, I think that's the issue. Was having 13 year olds.

Oh, yeah, That was offensive to say skin.

You can't get what you're talking about. Fuck you. How is not a bunch of little skits? Yeah. What are you trying

to understand what we do and doing their best folk?

You look, I'm just I think so. You're saying you would prefer me get instead of doing arrows at a drawing bringing kids

up? Show those little butting, butting bosoms.

Former Carol Carol. We're not gonna do another play where you get topless and hit. Yeah, to was too many. Just need to be the horse and acquis to get naked. There are places where human women get naked. You said

you want to show the full strength of a woman, but as a horse, well,

I mean, I didn't cry during that place. It was really crazy. Union dropping way. We're all Saba under the where

I just want to announce now I am staging the Full Monty.

Piece of work was just so for gotten. There's no reason in the back

of us. You're trying to be nude.

I disagree. Agree to disagree. My paper I think there's

a true for you Difficult Listen to get right to disagree,

To get back to the point True or false, Carol Breasts, breasts Extra momentum and growth

Girls extra bill. But now you're talking up and down or rotational Rotational moment, girl. So many home runs way went to your hitting your class this weekend. Use your titties as the way you thought you were

talking this momentum stuff, you know, swing the bat with your titties. We

didn't like that in the first place. And then you are No, no, no. Use your titties as the battle, like, stop saying titties and you don't ever

say Use your dick Is the bat like at least make it fair, little

boys that got enough dick to do anything?

Phillips, Take yours out your son's Penis on I was shut penises again. Literally. If your theory was correct about titties, you would have had

a good season. When you got those

implants that was your worst fatty unbridgeable within, like crazy. I was getting used. Teoh, This new distribution await. You're fucking crazy. So What's your

theory, Carol? Do you think that titties give more power? True or false, I guess, is the question.

You know what? In 2018 I'm going to say it's true. Thank you. Yeah.

And why does the year matter on this one?

Because not all women. Okay, you know, another smooth. I hired a Twitter coach, right? Uh, and just it's $2000 a month and it is worth every penny because she really taught me about the pound symbol. Uh, and

you know that people call it

a hashtag on Twitter. Also called the pound simple.

You're giving away good information, getting to pay you for this.

Maybe I will know that

grand. Does that money you earned or where is that coming from?

A You train imply that alimony is home?

No, I just said it feels like you are bleeding your husband dry. You're sneaking into him in his new wife's house, on taking and giving tours of it as if it's on the market for

sale. In

some accusations of money laundering through the team. You have so much money that you don't know what to do with it.

Wow, That is uh, wow. Okay,

there's these new shoes. There's a big new sign outside of the baseball field where nobody needs that stuff built.

Okay. Okay. Um,

really breaking care. We don't mean to attack you. Nobody's trying to attack you.

I just wanna have fun and sit in the sun. And,

you know, I am the one person in the Sounders not doing Cheryl Crow. Calm

down. Pretty tough things to him, too. I mean, your new boyfriend

was driving you in the convertible in the middle school graduation.

He was, But he was also a middle schooler. Graduating? Yeah,

he was He was doing his permit stuff. I think

that is a, uh, uneven relationship. If you are old enough to be the adult for his permit drive. Yeah,

well, that thank you very much.

We're not ever completed

now. I didn't see that because I was at your new boyfriend's bar mitzvah and you were getting You're getting very jealous on the dance floor when they played coke and Pepsi and everyone had to split whose laps they were sitting on.

Let's go

competitive. It's ah, all the board you want. You won't

go to a bar and bat mitzvahs. So it's something that happens at them. Okay,

way. Describe it. You'll get into one of your rages again.

Coke and

Pepsi is a very, uh, it's an ancient

Jewish tradition. Okay, bye was a

testament busy challenge was born of it. Please. I was interrupted.

Well, it's Ah, it's Ah, back in the old days, it's how the MCA bees, the MCA bees would you would put the MCA bees on one side. All the male Maccabees and all the female McAbee is on the other, and you save either Coke or Pepsi the males Air Coke, the females or Pepsi. And whichever you say they run across and sit on their lap I And it's a very fun game for adults to make 13 year olds horny girls play at a party,

and I I have. Yes, I was upset with Josh, um, that day, but we overcame it. Cynthia gm. Her family has moved since then. It

was good that a teenage girl moved out of the cities you

could be happy with. Well, they actually had to move her to a better hospital, right? That's why they had to move because they had to move to Boston. There's

a lot of good hospitals in Boston. Absolutely.

They put you up

in the chair and saying, having a gala. Right. Okay. You were stealing a moment for sure.

You know, I never just like the middle school graduation. I had never gotten to have a bar mitzvah. Where? Botnets? That I am not Jewish, right? That's why so you and I did not marry a Jewish man, so I didn't get to have the chair. And I said, You know what? Yeah, she I want this one right. And he said, OK, Nuestro,

it seems like you're very close. You Mr from Pete Carroll. I'm gonna be honest with you. It seems

like you're very interested in stealing moments from Children because you maybe had a childhood that wasn't necessarily full of these sort of seen formative moments that I'm saying that

I like the way you say Thank you. You really You know,

I feel seen. I had a terrible childhood. Really. I only went to elementary school in junior high. I did not get to Goto a middle school. I was not

Jewish. Not a big deal so far

high. I always handed her school. Those things I did. And I can't be a real estate agent without a high school diploma. There are standards.

And your parents? They were happily together. Yes, there's. How's your relationship with them?

It was fine. I mean, but they always only gave me cars with rooms on top. Okay,

Yes, I did not have

a convertible until I was 42 0 k. 40

two. Well, that's good. Thank

you. Just going to say I feel like I feel like you can t keep taking this out on your kid because it's going. This is like a trickle down situation where she's gonna have so many issues cause she and you have a favorite policy. Yeah. Hey, trickle down. Economics works. I think we've talked about this before. Trickle down economics works. And it also works in child rearing because the bad practices of the parent trickled down to the child and the child doesn't know how to fix him. I think you're fucking your child up, Carol,

But trickle down was good policies trickling down, right? So I think it's good that she seeing me enjoy life. I mean, that's really the thing about divorce that people don't recognize is it's really good for the kids. They get to see their parents, be happy as grown ups and to see you know what? You didn't stop my life from happening the way I wanted it to. Yeah,

and And you have

a pretty unique timeshare situation with kids. I do because, uh, what is the split up again? How? What days do you get them? In what days? To your husband. Get

them? I get them, uh, during the school days, Monday through Friday. So from

8 a.m. to about 3 p.m.

U is my time. So you never have

them, is

what you say. No. I mean, if there's like a parent teacher conference, I'll have them from noon to three that day. And there's 1/2 day at the school.

That's nice. Minimum days. May

I'm mostly

gonna remind you Marcie broke her leg while she was at her dad's house

because she's always there. She's with him seven days a week, But you get phone visitation rights

E Every other weekend, I have phone visitation,

which means you get toe look it through her phone. You're not even with her

you get to see what I think.

If you actually really understood teenage girls, you'd understand how important a phone is. It's more important than she is.

More important to know your your daughter through her

phone charges, like get spiked every week because you're just your streaming everything on your daughter's

phone. I don't want to mess it, but the algorithm Netflix has for suggesting for him, So I like to do it through your account, but

I'm going to say, Wait. So you watch crap you wouldn't

watch on your account on your daughter's

ago? Yes. You use your is that you keep ears pristine. Yeah, well, what? Your

favorite shows there on yours

on my I. I like to do a lot of British dramas.

Okay, Downtown abbey, A brown shirt. Oh, I love that when you

peaky blinders at Happy Valley.

So keep that one looking like you're kind of like, educated and yes. And what do you watching on your daughters?

Oh, um gosh, what am I not watching? Uh, the American version of the British Bake off be honest, is trash

way. You only watch the American versions of British shows on your Yeah, the American version of Broadchurch. Yes, with the same actor. They made the same show in America with the same.

Somehow replace the woman they replaces Coleman

minorities. American Royal Wedding, which doesn't make any sense.

Well, e think if you watch that Hallmark movie, you would see that it actually made a lot of sense. So,

yes. So if you are

thinking that this is not the same a spending time with her I mean, let me tell you, she's pretty upset when I take that phone. And I think that's a sign of how much it means to a girl in tears.

She broke her right? No, no, no. Girl. Carol, you're

going to be a room full of men telling a woman she's using times up pro. Yeah.

Yeah. So maybe you need to check yourself.

Maybe a fucking monster over here you are. How? Yes,

Now she broke her leg in

a home invasion. That someone was rifling through saying,

Where's the sodas? Where's the wares? Soda. Where's my oil? Yeah, it seemed like a It seemed like you had

mistake their home for a gas station.

There is. There is photos, photos. Where's the

big the big spoon connected to a key. I got to use the bathroom.

Get Yeah, OK. Why

am I in? Why does it The card machine on the pump Work. Scream.

Where's the thick glass? Ah, where's the lottery? Yeah, those three things.

You know, squeegee outside. Finally. Oh, look,

it's one of those big Twix. I'm gonna break it in half and stepped on your daughter's leg.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Do you eat your Twix hole?

Sadly, home run. Does this fuckin weird sticks it in

like stretch? But that's not the point here, Carol. The point isn't about the Twix. The point is about you. You broke your daughter's leg

and my husband broke her heart. And if you want a heart replacement surgery at, let me tell you that's a bigger deal than a leg replacement surgery.

You don't even have a leg replacement surgery. You did

steal the heart that was on the way to one of those may amazing

Boston hospitals and put it in your own chest. Who? You

have a fine heart. You know what I thought when I found the cooler? I thought it was some sodas and it was a heart and I said,

I'm not

gonna let that go to waste clearly belonged to a child.

She said, You said this one's not dead, but I'll take a 2nd 1 anyway.

Yeah, for sure. Then

you ground your heart into the dirt, even send it to somebody in need.

Well, let me

tell you, if you had a chance at 43 a

half in your heart well, I am with the 10 year old heart in me. Yeah, I am. I would just say no. There was

no cholesterol. There were I don't was classically Pinkett were perfect. The motor cycle accident. She died in left, that heart pristine. And I'm sorry. I didn't just let that heart goto waste.

It wasn't going well if it was on its way. You know what? That is why I should get to play on the team. There is a allowed year old girl inside of me. I think it was you. You Cali mod your own heart out of Indiana Jones style and then put it into yours.

It's honestly a feet were bad here, but we should at least be a little

impressed. You. Thank you very much.

Can I ask, Why do you love? So it's pretty. It's pretty easy to get. I mean, we could all get Yeah, not right now.

Okay. Well, you just you bring up soda. You don't have any sodas?

Rise? Almost glazed over was

e. I mean, it's the perfect drink. I mean, Coke and Pepsi is in the Old Testament. It is a gift from God.

Yeah. Wow care. So you think because you have an 11 year old heart, you are a kid and you should be allowed to play in the league? That's what you're saying? Absolutely. Okay, I know. Her lawyers argued

that is not obey. That is the best argument I've heard. It's

being held up in court. Currently,

in that case, can take a long as it needs to take fortune for

you. Funded. Doing a little league is very in your favor because there's not a ton of money for the Little League to actually paid

for our team. The home

run is representing the Little League with a big packed, huge briefcase of papers that had so disorganized he comes in late.

Yes, I did. I have ever trouble being a lawyer. Uh,

why are you?

Exactly the same amount of late every time.

Why are you

always four minutes late? Right after the judges being the gap.

I mean, traffic in this town is right, right? And so I'm playing in for crazy traffic. So I'm leaving. I'm leaving late so I could blame the traffic. The drive. The drive is the point. Is this OK? It is hard to be a lawyer. Yeah, I've said it's his day one when I said all represented league on. And so I'm learning as I go along here. All right. I think we've got a good case here against you. Carol.

I'm going to say you did drop some of those papers the other day. Some of those files and I picked it up. I did. And it was all about trump in Russia and the prospect of being on the bed files and files about it.

Did you get your briefcase?

I share an office with Michael Cohen.

Do you remember that day of the press conference was just files? Just Manila files

were all just kind of Ah, they would end up being probably empty. It looked like the Trump Prescott.

I like him Donald Trump. Oh, yeah, Yeah, I know

you are in good company. We are 11 especially. How his baseball country, baby,

we know you have to get out of here, so thanks for thanks for stopping by.

It was honestly made pleasure.

Your team is facing the Astros this weekend

and you're going down there are

gonna be your daughter. Slash your team. You

look at that. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you. Watch out for first baseman Jerro. And also Second baseman Bureau. The last their last names didn't fit on the jersey Just still might

go. But I look

at the center fielders commercial space on his jersey for my

third floor of a building. I'm going to tell you that, right?

With an elevator?

No, With stairs, there are some serious at least one stories worth of

split up among three. You gonna have to hop up

on Graboid. If the vaquita is good enough people will make that

hot enough. Laurita, speed is going to work.

Are things working out with Laurita? Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

We're in the honeymoon phase.

Best things you can do in an exciting early part of a relationship is going to business the

way we wanted to

take things to the next level. And it was not have sex. It was open a restaurant together

and do it for the other person. Don't go into a partnership or anything like that.

No. Live out your dreams via person with a good name. Like Laurita. Nobody would come. Teoh. No, no, no. Thank

you for being here.

Feels just pull out Convertible here. Doesn't. May need to open a door. Something

way. You crashed your convertible into the studio here in minutes and have been doing the but guess from out there

Josh is not the best. Parker. So I just said, Just stop me off his closest. You can

get your

10 year old boy

13.5. I think they're sodas

in the fridge. On the way. She's ran a hole through the wall. Okay, well, that was Carol Juro. Uh, for anyone who loves structure, we don't usually do the guests in the middle, but when someone drives a convertible into your podcast lounge, you let him talk.

Sometimes you need a middle reliever

ready for the clothes. You wear our own

closer, you know? I mean We don't need somebody else. We come in and finish this thing off. And

the coach is coming to the mound and he is tapping his right arm. He wants the closer. That's us.

Yeah, we did A,

um we we wanted at the league this year. We wanted a pitcher warm up area that not many little leagues have. Also known as a bullpen. Full pin, That's what I mean. And because we want to have a

burial, we wanted a sauna.

Yeah, we're gonna start a hot tub spa. We treat

I pitch is unbelievable. We wanted

pictures on pitches only. Oh, the catch is

treated like shit. Oh, yeah, We barely put pads on. We got We have a cold room for the pit for the catcher's before the gotta stay cold. First

in last out,

we give them the creaky ist

knees. The umpires, of course, come in like fucking What's that movie with plate takes place in the desert and it's sort of in the future and a matter of fact. Mad Max.

Yes, Thea Bodies coming full mad Max from

the owned by part of town, like a bunch of psychos

out of nowhere coming around their cars, their spray in their faces and blowing something into the exhaust cars run

and that just eating a big bucket of baked beans and franks. Yeah, and farting on the catchers the whole game. They're all in a relationship with Charlize Theron. Daddy,

it is difficult, but yeah, we we did want to add to the drama. We want old thing of you see the picture of the bullpen and you see the phone call happening. You see that? You see the coach walk out to the mound slowly but joggers

lonely but jogging with exactly

walking slower than if he normally walked. But his arms, a job

targeted by John. His body is flipping up and down, for sure,

And not only

did we want sunflower seeds and chew, but we introduced some new things for players to do to Seymour mentally. Mentally,

there's the singing of the 2.5 men team, so

you can do that at any time. That's like, Hey, batter, batter! But men, men, men, men, men

never looked

through the brawny paper towel photo shoot area where you wear flames, not knowing what to wear or caring about close area. That's right, Whatever. I don't care. I don't shop. Yes,

this is the area where you would not really big toe old stand up.

There's a forced apart right before. Right before you go up to bat, you walk over and tell someone I'm fine. Don't ask me about it.

There's also the wallet. Check where you have to do you put your wallet. That's so big care fit in your back pocket and

one of those airplane things to check you carry on. You put your wallet in that, and if it fits, you're not a man. It's huge. The biggest fucking wallet. There's they don't interrupt me. I'm in my recliner area.

There's, of course, the Breathalyzer area where if you don't blow above 0.208 or whatever the legal limit is, you can't go. You sponsored by. I'll have the usual.

There's the you never relate to your son area. But But you you do watch a movie that's about something, said together on both eu kind of sniffle. Yeah, and that's a huge moment.

There's the area where you just talk about bands that your kid, like 15 years ago as if he still likes him. And he just says, Ah, yeah, they're cool.

Yeah, there's a section where you look up about how to relate to your son without talking to him. You look up about Children, but you don't ask Children anything. Yeah, And then, of course, off to the sides.

There is the sons who blame their fathers for all their problems, and it's definitely not part of their own fault area.

So you were trying to get the O Manly thing,

and there is a podcast studio in that area, right? Podd complain about the dad

when it's actually their own issues. It seems as though they've become obsessed with their dads, so they talk about it constantly

s so yeah, this'll has cost us a

pretty complex. Downtown is huge. Pittsburgh eyes downtown when

the field

is still the same size one field, one size. But the complex around it has gotten very long.

And a lot of what a lot of the where the kid's been saying is, Hey, this feels like it's more about you than us. Now

what happened to the Little League way?

Say this is for you. It's for you to have a good time. I had my time. I was homer on

Henderson. Yes. You know, the league is about the kids. We maintain this. I quit my job to be at the practices because it's about my son, and they

don't succeed. They're gonna be disappointed. Yes. So, uh,

their development.

We are looking for sponsors. So we've all been kind of cold. Calling going, isn't it's looking toe? Well, of course, that Carol's Carol Inaction sponsor and her team, But all the teams have needed it. Sponsor to pay for the jerseys. The equipment

Todd Astro sponsor. Obviously we we were really cute. Tirelessly. One of the bed is but for the Astros sponsor. Ah, and it's Ah, it's a local ah, local landscaping business called the Lawn Ranger. Yeah, and

unfortunately, it is not home landscaping. It is for your downstairs area. Yes, uh,

they say Levi's shaping, but it's made man escaping. That's what that's what they actually do. The area in the door with the landscape and the label

they wanted on the bag of the jerseys is grotesque

to say. It's phallic, it's discussing. There's a bunch of little kids running around with men's fully shaved penises on the bank of the jersey. Just get

letting people know what your service.

I get it, but fine, right? Blaze, you know, got a TV commercial, something like that. Get a magazine like they have a TV commercial where says I finally shaved, but it's a picture of a big I'm saying, You know, they just put it on the landscaping. I finally should. We've got

this whole campaign. That's like Father Son connecting for the first time. And it's like dead. I think I'm finally ready to shave on. Is the dad being proud walking to the bathroom?

And then they cut to a shot of

the kid with little pieces of toilet paper

stuck to his pube area. She cut himself, and they Not only are they trimming

the shaving down to nothing but a little fleshy, lumpy area, and that director is now in

prison in the commercial and about everybody involved way jab the

youngest electric chair in the history

that 10 year old boy got. I

mean, while the whole dad was saying

It's a case on. I'm here and I'm shaved. I just didn't seem to put the sun. It all made it into the cut. A large commercial director had had final cut before you gasping. Yeah, that was his last request. Give me

a final guys. 21 is last meal to be and he said, I don't know something I could eat while I

edit. Yeah, quickly, just get yeah

eso eso We are sponsored by the Long Ranger. You know, it's been has been exciting to have a little more money for equipment. Now the kids can wear real baseball hats and said the sombreros

way way got those sombreros for

completing to feed a challenge

at you. Share in it. Complete the a heat.

It's Can you sit through a whole meal of other people? Order And for he

does without looking over your shoulder and which you got for heating silent contest. Everybody did Ugo and he said he did you You look behind your back, jealous of fetus, you lose. That's a strike, has a strikeout. I'm got everybody. My beatus don't act

like that's not why your order?

I think about you for years. Got I don't let nobody like soggy unmentionables, but I thought my feet. I bring a leg cast had this because I'm a narcissist. You I love the attempt. Have you

ever eaten a plate? If the heat is that you felt was

flavorful? No, no. Say I've had one that's been overflights, even.

Yeah, And I

love going to a restaurant and ordering pieces of a meal and putting it together much better.

Yeah, I'll say, uh, OK, take that burrito deconstructed servant to me on the hottest thing that's fair and then make me put it back together.

Absolutely. Complete duffer. He complete tougher heat

over the streak in our food. The the snack bar has gone through a big makeover.

Yes, what we call it renovations. Big renovations. Yeah, we did. We did a, um uh, flipper flop on the snack bar, right?

A bunch of people came in and said it was a flop and nobody wanted to invest in flipping. It s

so they flipped it

off. That's right. Most people say, and they thought This is really clever. I'm gonna do a flip and flock. So they flipped it often. Fly? Yeah. So did you get an investing to flip to snack? Podd? I didn't get an investor, but I did do it myself for a low budget D i Y g I white and I were doing over budget that I went over budget way. I went over budget and had to dip directly into my pocket book. So I am living in the snack bar now.

I mean, I basically

was before games are only on Saturday

games, you know? But you're

restocking. You're going to Costco four times a week for the free samples

because it's cheaper. Yeah, most of this stuff you can buy at the

at the at the snack by seem like free samples from small individual cups of chili, like little like catch up. Cubs full of

samples are convinced you go and

you go, OK, I'm here for sour, gummy worms coming here now. And you

lay back a mattress and you leave with

a bunch of Adele's chicken sausages. Uh, pizza bythe cannot believe Adele got out of the music business. Oh, yeah.

I can't comment on her way, Way voice. And I thought does voice voice. I thought I

thought, honestly, when when Travolta introduced her Oh, she was gonna be She was gonna hit it, hit it?

Yeah, we're not talking about Adele from London with the real character. What your voter was trying to introduce a real person was

doing a Kanye he was doing. I'm a let you finish. Yeah. Yeah. I think Adina Menzel should come on down the

wickedly talented until Dizzy von that you get blamed. I think we're all crazy. That's what we wanted to see. Absolutely. We were like, finally Adele Dizzy. I am loving

her Adele sausages. I had a pack of eczema is last night square off. Disease was trashed deceivers. You gotta drink a lot to get drugs ever. And I had a big Sure you

were out there

with the Jesus sign stomping around with a little tidy foam head. Bones on dancing.

Yeah, that's around. Let's say the blood loves you. When I get drunk, I become a big Jesus Fair. These Jesus freaks for sure on then I do a whole I do a nailed thing where I I make people follow me and I carry the cross and I have them with May.

Wow. And why? Why your passion

Podd Europe Asher play to show them how much Jesus suffered, you know, First, I

You see liberties in

that passion play. I didn't I didn't read any of those storylines in the Bible.

Oh, yeah? Well, you know, there's, Of course, the cross and the, you know is the being whipped and tortured by the Romans. Yeah, but there's also a tap number. Ah,

tap number. And then there was It seemed like a storyline from MASH address at one point. Try to convince everyone

know, that's Ah, Masha had some crossover. Your every. There's only six stories that

are not being familiar with any storyline from the hoping you

weigh reference to gay.

Um, yeah, it's surprisingly us four white guys. They're not familiar with the mash storylines, but, um, yeah, I when I get drunk, I love Jesus. That's just the way it goes. And I want everyone to nose.

Well, I've seen

your church on Sunday. Oh, yes, Lamb.

I can't I can't live in a blue state. Uh, what is that? A dry state? What? That blue line? Because I gotta be drunk on Sundays to go the truth. So if you're not serving the alcohol, I'm not worshipping.

Thank God this is a wet state.

Oh, yeah. This is a very what is sort of state in the union.

Said God. Yeah. Filled with alcohol.

About how do we get to the way snapped?

Yes. And snack bars, driving. I'm living in it and it's got me underwater financially.

Oh, yeah, Yeah, but I do. People seem at least excited about it. I know. Last week you were showing everybody the new sonic hair toothbrush. Maybe they didn't have a lot of food

sample that weekend. People are interested. I don't

know. They're excited. They're definitely saying what is going on there saying, where are the smack? Right? Well, I did crunch down on a 400 package Zyrtec. Just with that little dollar ticket, we get out of the game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I Honestly, my nose was unbelievably clear. Awesome. Good. No allergies whatsoever.

I couldn't get to the Zyrtec because there was a long line of old Filipino women that were just very aggressively trying to get it before me, and I just couldn't make it

through. Okay, Okay, Okay.

All right.

You can enjoy any of our other things. You know, we have a Costco couch now. Right outside. They

say you also have a Costco sign Yeah. Yeah. It

seems that

you're also open about. Find us 98 now every day of the week.

Yeah, I wear orange. Vastly. Here's what are you saying that Costco's taking over my life and I'm running a Costco out of snack work? Come on.

Maybe that's what's happening on

the Costco. Needs a satellite campus much like U C l A already good college bigots. Guys goes to college. Yes, Much like a college. Costco is not hitting all of its market.

You know, we're

busy. Guys were always in the parcel. Costco, you're not robbing buffets

anymore. You're not the buffet band.

Yeah, I don't do that

anymore. It's somehow ended. Right? When they started getting way better security because of you, you decided to stop.

Yeah, I think it was just I realized it was time. It wasn't my first time getting cuff slapped on me. I had realized just before that. And then I said, I'm done. Yeah, I'm done. So I punched the police officer, ran away, chewed the cuffs off later on just a front for

But in this episode, with a little segment full count. Uh, now we all know what the full countess

of three votes to strike down to the last minute swing If it's in. If it's in the strike zone, that's

it's either a walker. Now

it's a walker, and it's the biggest eyes. The biggest, highest stress. It's a chess match.

So are you going to say a decision you have to make? And do you swing a Do you know exactly right? Exactly. Right. We know what this segment is?

Yeah. So we do it almost every week. Yeah. So we're doing it. Today s o Today's full count. A situation. Do you swing or do you not swear? Okay, now you're on a bus at, um, there's there's only one seat open. Okay. See, the seat is in the front of the bus, okay? And it's in the area where there's a sign that says, you know, please give up your seats for the elderly who are Thanks. Anybody, but you had a long day.

You have dogs about dogs are barking. Come on to the bus with the dog walking

job. You

have you been walking dogs all day?

And your feet are all

sources so tired from walking the dogs that you got to take the bus with them.

So you on the dogs

with 7 to 12 dogs on the bus for seven.

Now, do I take a named capsule with the seven Detroit? Is Andy capture out

early or both?

Well, it's It's right next to the handicap, but it does say, like, you know, for people who are differently abled or elderly Pregnant, Give up your seat. Right. So you're on there. You're tired. 7 to 12 dogs, different households so they don't get along.

And it's a tough decision that's been placed on you,

and it's a full count.

Is there some kind of squirrel or another animal that's keep making them rowdy?

Um, no. No, but they are just naturally rowdy. And there is a Someone has a phone ring. That is the squirrel noise. Yeah, exactly. You know this. So that's a phone Rings?

Yeah, my phone's ringing.

I'm on the bus. All right. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So now you look around. There's a pregnant woman. That's an old lady. Uh, on. Then there, there's you,

and we're all making eye contact. It's good, bad and the ugly. It's

good. Yeah. And this closely as all of you here?

The Yeah, they're the good the bad. Typically in a sick

way, Old ladies. Bad pregnant ladies. Good. You're ugly. Uh, so who takes the seat?

Me, You said he said that? The question.

Do you swing the swing, Teoh? One of them is as you swing.

Yes. Do you swing so hard that you knock one of them out? So they're not an issue anymore. Goodnight, Irene. There.

Here's what I'll say. I

I

think it's very important to behave ethically and think about these things. Yeah, and I

know that you gotta put on your own oxygen mask. First I take the seat to make sure the old lady's okay. I'm swinging away.

That's right. If something happens on the bus and you're too tired to save the

day Yeah, your lady's dead. If a robber got to be

prepared and rested,

a robber comes on. You been walking 7 to 12 dogs. You can't stop him if you've been

robbed this bus again, I think I let the pregnant

woman have my seat and I tell her I love her curvy body curve and I say like pregnancies is actually pretty hot. Okay, so I just suddenly sort of like dress her down.

You start floating with her and you, you do a kind thing. But then you make her feel very

yeah. So who's is it?

And is he treating you good? Okay? Because I can really treat. And she's headphones

on and it's clearly not looking at you or trying

to tell. Yes, And then I flip off the old lady and say, Age is nothing but a number. You What is it? Here's what I do. Uh, I'm presuming that there's other people on this bus already. Is the face of your voice your your friends without is not a dead? No, I'm not a skinhead. I

didn't say Sure you

but what? Ideo Propecia Club? What I do is I looked. I looked to the nearest seats and I see if there's another man sitting there and I say, Listen, buddy, these air too Delicate women. Jesus, these two women, they can stand on the bus. Let's let you stand up, will stand. The pregnant lady can have your seat. The old lady can have my seat. Let's let these delicate flowers plant the seeds. Jews. So

you tell the man in the wheelchair Just laid is well,

I didn't say the detail, but I was imagining it was a man in a which a man in his wheelchair, any man in a wheelchair doesn't need it. It's fake. Always

fake. I'll say this. You unlock the secret that it's the main in the wheelchairs. Bob Dole, one of the bus applauds and cries. Everyone applauds and Christ about does. It was good for H

w. I just did. I just hit a bases clearing grand. Great.

Go do the go to the concession stand and redeem your 200 pack of daily contacts. Nope,

that's right. This Saturday, only anybody hits the ground. Slaves Free contact day at the Stadio Things

are not prescription contacts. We want to say this up front. These air transition tax measures for so make you look like the basis for lead parts. You go inside, it's right back to normal, baby.

So if you want to look like a new

metal creep, I hope that your boy it's a great slam home run. No, wait a

was, um Alright, well, that's that's all the time we got for today. Uh, take so much for listening. Thank

you. Bali's for being here,

boys. You barley Cliff. How?

And, Carol, if you're out there listening carols chugging a big ass soda in the distance in the horizon.

Oh, and beautiful, actually, she's on the crest of a hill chucking three. Well, three really cheap soda only make leaders in the way foreign. Gorgeous.

It's the three litre of orange.

Uh oh. If you got catfish, you can Now put your hands down. We're sorry that were kept about thinking they lap, uh, until next time we'll see you in.