you ve seen that new Wetzel's that opened up the little kiosk? Yeah, what is right out

in front of Auntie Anne's? It seems like direct competition. I think that's bad news. It's like

the Civil War. Well, and what are they doing with the kiosks? The How are they gonna how they're going to compete with a kiosk? I don't think it's gonna last. It feels a lot

like the Civil War. The two Ah, the two managers of Auntie Anne's and Wetzel's have, you know in 18 hundreds vibe to them,

the shop. The mutton chops were the first giveaway for May. Yes,

let's not forget about their beliefs, right? Big tweed coats and pants that's believes, believes Let's

not forget about their beliefs. That's

not move on from their beliefs. One of them believes that their pretzels should be tasty, and the other one is heavy in two states rights, if you know what I mean.

You get it?

We said it was like with civil war for real time

of their clothes. Tweed.

Well, I Yeah, I'm not getting II for what? I'm not gonna eat that Auntie Anne's. I don't believe in States rights. Uhm you know. And you you

want it even more local. Yeah,

I May District's rights guy, Um, district by district, whatever they want to do. So

you wanted to see it? Even from parts of your own city? Sometimes. Yeah. I want to make it really tough to cross county lines at times.

Everyone should have their own money. Um

cap gated.

That kind of was how things went back in. Like the frontier times. Everybody did have their money you were bartering with with Peltz and and meat.

And that's what we're talking about. The frontier time? Yeah. Is that what you

want? I

think let's let's say that things aren't as good now as they were then. You know, there were things that were bad then and we

don't want those dysentery in

anti slavery. I'm going to come out and say that right

now, OK? G o slavery, that's all. We're ancient Teoh, anti slavery. Nice to

put that to rest. Yeah, you mean about humans?

And yes, I do mean about here, but all the rest, I

don't know why. And here's the thing that keeps

happening to me is people keep assuming I'm gonna come out pro something awful. I don't know why that is. I

don't know what I've done in

my life to make people assumedly kind of thing.

Well, well, the manager of the Auntie Anne's did come to you when he was talking about how his employees were sort of complaining that they were working too long hours with low wages. And he said, you guys, that it was one of those.

Can you believe this

kind of coverage that had a quiet meeting at your house by candlelight? Just sort of, like, start some uprising is feeling very civil war, candlelight, equal Civil war to me, E.

I mean, yeah, it was by candlelight. Um, you know, it ended at 7 p.m. Both went to bed. Yeah, well, first we we shared a huge stew. Uh, right. Frenzel Stupid pretzels. Too nasty. Yeah, Well, uh, pretzel stew made us a pretzel gumbo. Um, and

he is a great as I heard Is right, Chef. Pretzel still? Yeah, I heard

you guys fell back

on your treaty toe. Hot dog on a stick. Yeah,

well, all right. We annexed Hot dog on a stick. Uh, in the courtyard

purchase. You need there you need. They're part time employees,

their employees and location. We need the location, and we need their batter. Uh, and

why? I

heard you dumped all their batter into the into the fountain.

Yeah. Is the hot dog batter

party? Yeah, way. Don't The batter into the phone and bread out of protest. And it ended up being it backfired. Uh,

because the found was really hot just but it boiled that dough and it became delicious. Popular restaurants funnel cakes. Right? Because the fountain boiled funnel because we didn't know the fountain here is actually filled with hot vegetable

oil. Whoa, do that. A new world power. We're having too little accidents.

Funnel cakes may exit with water. So you filled it with hot oil?

Yes, Yes, As a deterrent.

You know, a stove is dangerous because it has five return. If you know that it's hot, you don't touch

it. That's true. There's been there. Are there signage?

Well, I was tired of kids

reaching in and grabbing a little coins. And what these coins air for the mall? Not for Children. So it's gonna burn you like a deep fryer.

If you reach a although so good

luck.

And instead of now, the mall having maybe 100 less pennies, we have 1000 more lawsuits.

That's right on. I don't

think any of those are going to stick. I don't think

any of those going is It has been a big distraction from the mall, Robert. Yeah, it has for the mall lawyer, Not for me. I'm hot on his trail. I'm hoping to get the mall robber into that fountain because then Oh, man, what he's done stealing because

the punishment fits the crime for sure.

Well, you still

one thing from under my nose every day? I would deep fry.

Hey, guys, nobody knows. Hey, guys, you know, maybe, why don't

we record today? Why don't we recorded a

way record the podcast? What's with why don't

we record? We should hit record and record,

okay? Yeah, we should I don't understand your term, But sure,

you're like standing as tall as you can and sort of jumping

around. Everything's fine. Let's

And covering up the light that says, if we're recording as if you're taking a test and you don't want to cheat off of you

Are

you telling me you want todo big trapper binders, carols. Carol's not

bugs. Now

that that's what I always called those Those little trapper keepers were called carols when I was a kid.

Maybe it's just me

anyway. We'll start recording. We haven't been recording this whole time.

Oh, good. Oh, you did it right this time.

Great. Yeah. Finally. I'll tell you what. God, if I listen to the episode and some of that was

on tape, I'm gonna be fucking piss. I would deep fry somebody. Your hair is falling out. That's fine. Where's rapidly following?

Okay, well, going bald, your it was your stress ball. Your stress ball released on this hymns takes hand them hand sponsored by

a gummy and keep your coming way. If you're a man and you're losing your him nous taking hymns,

get your hair Best sign in front of your loved

ones. On in front of your friends were the first company Teoh offer e d medication Comey gummies that immediately post to your social media.

It's the opposite of discrete. Let's

deal with over the copy here. My name's Todd Podd Tadre and I take him every night and I haven't woken up with clean sheets since

Todd, you wrote your own

copy. Do the copy that They said it

was crap I couldn't deliver it. Couldn't deliver it.

A good thing we were already recording that. That ad, as we've started recording everything,

Aziz, you probably know we keep exactly an hour of tape. So if we were recording early, we're going to run out of the last five minutes, so it's good to know if Okay,

the jig is up. What? The jig is up?

No, not for

now. We're start. And

now it's The goof is

off. What? Why? I thought

we were gonna pull down the mayor's plan. Goofus still, Army

is on.

The jig is up in. The group is off.

Oh,

come on. We want to dance and pull the mayor's pants. The cat

is out of the bag.

Oh, he's got Rabies way. Take him to the vet.

No, guys, that's not that cat. The cat, the I fucked up. Next thing you

tell me the crows out of the nest. If I don't

be a Rabies,

I know all

the of Haiti's. That's why they're all still in bags and in their nest. Guys, guys, I've been recording this hold.

I was pro slavery Bill aggressively came out anti slavery. Have you ever noticed that you rewrite history all the time? Your nose? I forget everything unless it happened. Five minutes again for orb. You said it. Look,

we're been recording this whole time. Guys. I'm sorry. I'll take my lashings and beyond your ass

over spank you. Spread your cheeks, spread much. Yeah, I'm gonna spank your craft. I'm gonna spank from up to down through your crack And you're using a fly

swatter. Yes, it. Right. Okay, fine. I'll take it out. Just that was bad to make. That was worse. For maybe a

slap on the booty in a haze of one of those sticky hands. Oh, you did? Oh, it's steak is old now, now, bringing back a

lot of dingleberry. Okay. Jesus. Other on the cheek. Second charities outside. Yeah, I never knows what a hair. Yeah, you that Well Yeah, well, I think they're gonna stormy there any second. I recognize that outdoor swell the at

all. So you might be able

to use one of these sticky ends is part of your morning routine. Okay,

this would be

much doubt. Cheek deal. All right, well, the ass is out of the pants, guys. Everybody, welcome to another

episode of the teacher's lounge. Used to be the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. But for way about that, musically, this used to be the bowling podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. But of course, we are dead. Inhale out on work release and working at a mall. I am. Of course. Howard Levis used to be a biology teacher. Now I work at the arcade here with my well, I won't call them friends anymore. But my co hosts

What? Ouch! Uh, Tadre recently brokenhearted by his best friend, Theo X theater teacher and now running the while the event space in the mall on hashtag. Slavery was wrong. Good. Make it clear. It was and still is.

Itwas OK. Hi. Bill Cravy here, formerly a basketball coach

and an ostrich. Uh, currently a department manager.

Yeah, we'll get

a bass pro shop.

Which department? I didn't hear about this

on apartment manager, Department manager, department manager.

But I also dabble. I'm trying to get

my, um Ah, house flipping slash apartment managing career off the ground with us. Another side career. I'm taking those classes that satyr old people

go to that think they can just flip houses and they have $5000. I'm

taking good kid. That was a really hit on people simply

trying to better themselves in the final stages of life.

Taking one of those classes. Of course, I don't tell you at the beginning. They make you. They make you announce what you're most excited to change about your life and it is is brutal.

It's a lot like

an AA meeting. The ones I've been to

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I choose to remain anonymous and those also I come in in the mask, Uh,

her masks, they anything it's made do. Okay, I do. Wait for me.

That's the first half step. Is finding a cool man

such a scary burlap sack mask, Like from I think Batman begins.

Oh, yeah. Um, so once again, Hollywood steals the thing for me. I used to wear that mask and poison people and trick then and then And then I go to that fucking movie and I'm like,

this is my thing. So they based the hero of the movie all around my life

out here. I Todd

making feeling Levi's. He's the big baddies.

Well, yeah, he is the bad guy he's supposed to be here. You're rooting against Batman is the superhero

that man taking care of his city? My name is Sam Weatherman and I security at the mall. I am going to catch the Scarecrow mall. Robert,

that was a good

segue way in that it was the complete negative of what's actually going on you. You Things have actually gotten a little worse this week with them all

My car

car, nicer home on his

Homeland Security. The federal agency has been checking into a mall because it's gotten so crazy here. Yeah, and I don't know if you guys remember, but that's a hack agency. They didn't know what they're doing. When's the last time they stopped? 9 11 When's the last time? Yes, Charlie. After it. Oh, yeah, after it happened. Great. Yeah. Oh, good.

Well, 9 11 couldn't happen again.

OK, well, after I stopped the mall robber, I'll stop it every day. That's what you You came at

the Homeland Security agent who stopped by the mall simply just to check in and ask if we needed any help. You really scream some 9 11 stuff? It sure

did. I sure

did. It seems to me honestly, though, that you have sort of shifted your job away from keeping them all safe. And now it's more about keeping homeland security out of any sort

of investigation off my homeland. Security is a new synthesis if you have any money. Oh, yeah. Oh, all four sides. Well oh, you get to defer building all four sides of the Pentagon. Udp the parallelogram. Yeah, well,

I got a shape. I got a shape and I nailed him. I got him with double ply, too. So it's gonna be

Sam. Have you done anything? I know you have beefed up security to keep the homeland security out, but have you?

Actually, I've been I've been eating a lot. I've been eating a lot to try to beef up your tomorrow. Sure that when I do run into this fucking mall, Robert, he's intimidated by my acne. My meeting so poorly that my face is breaking out. You're still getting larger.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You are eating. It's not steroids cause, you

know, meeting.

Show it. Yeah, Yeah, I'm eating steroids. Normal

steroid. Your steroid recipes have been the hit of the mall. You're making a lot of cool meals with steroids.

Yeah, uh, doing one of those cooking display things. What all sort of cook up the thing? There's a mirror above and a crowd will will come and want.

And a lot of people would say, because there's a mirror and a stage behind you and then a crowd all around you, you are in the worst spot to see if someone's robbing the law. You have no fuel division,

which is interesting. This is coincidental, But the most robberies air happening during my

cooking shows. Wow, that doesn't seem coincidental, right? It doesn't seem coincidental at all. Actually, it seems like there's a 1 to 1 cause, like, causation, all relationship well, and you're distracted doing your cooking shows in the robbers going

use thing. I'm cooking things that the robber might be interested in. What? I'm trying to goad him over here. I'm dangling that carrot in front. I just think you are. I think

you're more obsessed now with Homeland security and shooting your top down. Tasty videos, uh, that you're posting on your instagram and have

you seen tasty? It's very popular

by way of them. Are your head over the finished me only eating? Yeah, well, I don't

want to get it off my shirt, so I have to lean over. I totally know the dish. Do you have manners? And you keep screamed. Day. Stay

right. There's no Those things are popular because their informational because people see the recipe and they make it for their family. You are just shooting yourself, eating a thing that you already and they

Robert cleared out the buckle. While you are arguing with people on instagram comments about how dirty your nails were,

you get saying they were clean and they were obviously not.

I know. I think what you guys think can you believe people have the time to argue with me on instagram about this shit

out tonight,

saying we're all the same region. If you can't talk to these trolls, what

saying Get engaged with Charles, You can't feed the trolls like common Internet.

It's said it's such a good adage. Marc Maron's pilot was all about this? Um, it's a It's a very important thing to talk about as a comedian and as a performer is how much these trolls get into your head. Yeah, it makes you sound so relatable. Uh, so that's what you have to talk it that you have to think about that for yourself. You're relating to that.

Well, for me, everyone in my life is a troll. If you don't love what I'm doing and support me unconditionally, you're a troll. It's not. It's not that I do weird things or that, you know, I'm shirking my responsibilities and just doing whatever I want. You're a troll, and my manager should back off. Yeah,

I don't know. Devil. Well, yeah, I was going to say, You know, you're if you let this this Robert run rampant for the rest of this this season,

The guy who is totally lost

control his. I think our situations are completely different. Sam and I have completely different situations.

We both basically both been kicked out of our job. Sounds

almost identical. Well, let's be Let's be honest, I Over the course of the last couple weeks, I've had an influx of patrons to the arcade who have slowly chiseled away at the amount of the arcade that I have control of. Ah, and as of today, I have not been able to enter the arcade, uh, pushed for business, the make the the what I can do. And I went and I did some internet research and found out that the group of guys I took a picture of him and I posted it on Reddit. And I said, Who are these guys? They seem like they're a group of people who are organized. Turns out these guys they're proud boys, which is, I guess a group of of male show Venice to believe that that men men deserve a better station and lasting women. And people don't like that about them. People don't like it. Well, they love it and they put it. They basically started using my arcade as ah, in the membership is closed. The membership is quote, they told me, actually, zoom in. These are men on. They wear these these funny little shirts on and they have their

little funny shirts. How funny. Listen, how far do you think

you want to join the proud boys? They're bad organization

that way were saying there is anything but not what we were saying.

Uh, I'm not interested. I've got my own group of man that I'm happy with, Uh, and I don't need another one.

Yeah, well, yes. I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to get get a key back from the RKO

My your keys

statements. Gotta get damn you to hell.

Well, I

figure it out, but I didn't like I did that thing. I did that thing. I think we may have talked about before, but I don't think we did. I did that thing where they were inside, and I pulled the gate all the way down with the key in it saying, All right, everybody get the hell out of here. Get the hell out of here. And they didn't. They pulled the gate down the rest of the

way. Your pants down?

Well, yeah, at the same time.

But they also pull your pants down just a little bit. Yeah, like the gate. It wasn't they weren't fully dance.

You didn't realize they weren't

fully down. And you walked around for the rest of the day showing that top of my

crack. Yeah, a shaft and crack. But anyway, they ripped a key out of the gate and eso I haven't been able to get back in the arcade, but that's it's okay. I'm gonna figure it out. I realized these guys were, like, kind of like

they're, like, been hanging out with Well, I

made some new friends because, uh, because, you know, this is weird. Well, yeah, it does, doesn't it? I met some guys. They call themselves socialists, which is the thing that I'm interested in.

Oh, these are all these old people that walk around in the morning. They get here right When we opened

the Socialists and they show up in uniform, they wear head to toe windbreaker. Tracksuit.

This is

just a mall one.

No, no, no. These are thes air the air

politically, they meet up and talk about communism.

They do look like Bernie Sanders. Yeah, but

way haven't had, like, a full fledged conversation yet, But they whenever I joined the group,

they talk to these people. Know what, but we've not, as you even really keep up

with their their their pace

yet, but I'm working up towards it. I'm working up to it.

You can catch up with them. You could

maybe created another type of force to fight against these right wing limits.

Yeah, because, uh, Hussein Bolt didn't win the Olympic record for sprinting. The first day he tried to run is what I'll say. So it's gonna take me a minute to kind of get get in there with them and, like, sort of figure out what's going on, But they

use they both started with a walking close old walking club.

I think something close to it. But anyway, then there's the way I know that they're socialist guys. Is that Margaret? She's the leader of the group she brings. She brings a big tupperware of hand sandwiches on she hand sandwiches little Yeah, I'm not gonna eat. I'm not gonna eat human. I've told you that, but no, she shares the Tupperware little sandwiches on, doesn't even ask for payment. It's This is food for every sharing. Yeah, uh, I also barred a pair orthotics from or in the other day because my shoes were wearing out and thought of you bottom. Now I borrowed him from foreign. Uh, who is a man who is here because his wife just died and he's taking some time to himself to just sort of be, Well,

you need

to mobilize these old slobs on fight against the proud. Well,

I saw you reading Animal Farm and nodding your head riel big the other day. Yeah, I understand. The metaphor

looks funny. It's about it's about,

Yeah. You haven't even gotten to the pigs part,

right? I read the back. I'm getting into

it. You know,

you guys were burning a picture of an ran right?

Uh, yeah.

Does that make sense? There

was a It does. There was a bit of a mistake the printer accent to give you a picture and Frank, but what

way? Fix that? That printer has a mind of his own, and it's crazy. Yeah, I'm not a person who prints the printed.

It was a printer. India. You know, it makes human types of mistakes, like mishearing things.

That's exciting. How?

Yes. Well, you know, I'm trying to get I just I want to do good in my job. You know, I actually had a passing interaction with the devil recently on. He did that sort of thing Where he like, kind of knowingly said, How's things going at the mall? You

know, when somebody's house is himself, uh, kind

of rifling through the dirtiest parts of Spencer's gifts?

Right? And any and as a team fits right in. But you can tell it's him. And he always has that sarcastic sort of boss attitude of just like, you know, what he's really saying is, I know you're fucking up right. But he's asking you if things are going OK and you have to lie to him and say,

Oh yeah, E I saw

him, too, and he seemed to be pretty happy with my ascension. My quick ascent. Well, I'll

say this bill you are of of the four of us, you are the shocking success story.

Sorry, Todd, that we'll get to you. You You made some big strides this week. You had a couple of

downfalls which will find out about, um, teaser by. It's written but high. What? Last

week, as you all know, I was bait on a hook and and was wrestling fish. But yeah, through my, uh, my wrestling prowess, I kind of pulled it. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I made my way out of wrestling

because they are you. They thought you were spunky. They were like this man. This kid's

got lucky. And I know you even have a catchphrase. You can

you smell the fish? Yes. Can you smell the fish? Is cooking the smell officials Cookie is like I long I

long gated it and I made it different,

but I was

able to gain respect because I played my part. I also, uh I also created some come camaraderie with me and my co workers by doing a haka dance which a lot of people have been calling appropriate, appropriate thing,

which is what I

hear, Bill. I think your your mishearing I think they're saying you're appropriating

no inappropriate or this No, I think they're saying you're you're doing appropriate.

Well, you're doing a pro. You hear the word cultural in any way before a program?

A I think I heard

that, but I think they were talking about some college course like then they interrupted themselves.

I've had that. People call me appropriate than they say. I'm a basis. For some reason, it's like I am, you know, based anymore. You don't know more.

You don't carry a street. Okay? You do. You don't play nicely, Mark. Um, but yeah, I

started doing a haka dance, which was appropriate, and me and my co workers were screaming and banging on our chests. And my voice isn't quite my voice is ridiculous. I don't know if anybody's about to say crazy and write me and sales crazy, but not so ridiculous. It's not quite suited

for the hoc. It's just a little

high pitched scream. When I hit my own chest, I go out. Uh, also

your chest kind of had, like, a weird It's like most chest kind of have a deep, like, sort of thud to him. Yours kind of just goes

ding.

Yeah, People keep people keep showing up thinking that I'm the bell on the front desk of a of any business. And

can I help you? That was

in the microwave to get my hot pocket out the other day

and I saw some kids running to dinner. Yeah, I've been a dinner out. Eso ya did the haka with my

my group and I quickly ascended to being a manager. Yeah, of a department. What, at bass pro through Simply playing my part. And now, of course, pass down that humiliation

to the person who's now the bait boy, Um, and complete the cycle.

And how does it feel having that responsibility? Let's say, because you're the manager now, So a customer comes upset about the service they've gotten. How do you feel interacting

with that? I hate that. I cannot just simply pass it off to a manager can get the manager, And now it's and I have I quickly get frustrated. I cry in a lot of confrontations. You messed up my online order. Uh, now, that's why I'm here at the store and

they don't

tell you about responsibility. Now you have it right. They

never say

that. They don't read. They tell you once you have responsibility, it's a weight on your shoulders

that refer to drag rise as high as I

can as long as there's someone above me to blame it on. Absolutely.

Because there's a difference

between power and responsibility,

because great power, I think

another movie, by the way that stole my story. Just, uh

oh, yeah, you're the uncle

that got shocked. You're the younger. They got shot

by a wrestler

Yeah, Yeah, Someone shot me. And I blamed my nephew. And it may he changed his whole life because

crazy. And you don't see him anymore. Thank God. He's weird now.

Yeah, Yeah, he's waiting. He's always got secret places to babies. Talk about Tony Stark all the time. Shut up, kid. I am an actor.

You understand that? You could tell him more about being an actor.

Yeah, it's the same thing as,

like bosses. You know, It's like if you're a boss, you can, you know, you got no one to just listen to your cool stories

now.

But but you are the boss of the Christmas spectacular.

I mean, there is no one above you.

It's going great. Yeah. And, uh,

you keep making these conversations very short every

time. Your great, So, uh, just like it is where the everyone knows by me, it's I don't need to talk about myself too much

about it for Todd. I am so excited for the holiday spectacular and excited for no moment more than the big, big, big you know it is now. Well, you planned it right,

cause it's coming up quickly.

I between you guys and May. I wish I hadn't bought ad space before all the big movies there

because I was you. But I watched the

favorite the other day and there was a full blank add that you had paid for.

It just has holiday music playing with text on the bottom that said holiday spectacular, coming up such acts as and then just kind of transitions that were added. And I'm

movie. Yeah, a title here, stuff text here titled Placeholder text. And then the last thing said, We know what it is. And then it goes black,

Uh, and we dio and I'm

getting any help. Are you reaching out to anyone? What's going on?

I find that when you are struggling with something, the best thing is to isolate yourself and deal with it alone. And so sure, I've been working on that. Um, and I bought that ad space night that well, if I set this benchmark, I'll have to get some people for the big moment. Right on. And as I said last meet week, I printed out some e mails and sent them to some people Looking over. Uh, yeah.

Can I ask you a question? Uh, Yes, every artist, two time all time has experienced writer's block. It's a common thing every for for for artists. They sort of creatively run into a brick wall and they can't get through it. And it's okay if that's how you're feeling. You've got three friends here who would love to sort of take a little bit of a stake in the holiday spectacular to maybe get in good with the big guy.

You want to test the material? Do you want to do anything, like, tell us anything?

That's a great question. Um, uh, you know, I think if I test the material, then it means that Ah, you guys want sex. I want

you to be as excited as everybody. What? Do you see it when it anyhow, conversations

with your daddy? No conversations with your

service issues with my dad. Conversation with the devil is a player right before questions for daddy is what I'm working on right now. And

Hamilton to is another thing you've been working

on. Yeah. Yeah. Hamilton to more rap.

Uh, less history is history. Have been

working on sincerely, Evan Hansen. Yes, it's clearly, and I think the end it's his resupply.

ITT's him writing a letter back. Yeah, uh, I'm doing a lot. I'm doing fun. Home three wears. I'm assuming of secrets coming out because I was a little late to the gate on that one. So you

need to know what's in this equal before you write the third

three so I can do whatever I want

to get

laid to the gate. Just get to the airport early.

I try

to push it. I always said

I'm really excited for the whole thing and I know you're going to pull it off because you always

get on you dio so little faith in you and you always make something happen. And that's honestly, more than can be said for a lot of people

on your friends Have your back emotionally. Let me

know if you need me to show up. I'm busy Monday through Sunday, But let me show let me know and I have your back. Yes, I have your back. Tall padre is always around. Yeah, he's making it at a mall a lot recently.

You have a big performance. He's been kind of latching on to me. You look like around

what do you say?

What did I say to

him? Yeah, if somebody like a seems like it may be needs guide answers.

Oh, yes. I said like Hey, get away. I'm not your fucking dad. Kids, um, you know Andy and he keeps was like, what? We do have the same last

name. And I have also noticed that he keeps trying to swab like he tries to get DNA

from you. Uh, he's constantly swapping at your method, like getting some leftover fork of yours swapping at

your mouth. Uh, but the joke's on him because I have what doctors call nurse salivary gland.

You're going to say no. So lava. I

call it no saliva.

I've also seen him doing some big scissor mrs at your head,

not my son. He's so obvious

he can't. He's too

stupid to get well, right. Whatever he's doing is too stupid to get swabs my mouth. And he's too stupid.

I e o. I

guess now I spend a lot of time in the bathroom and I

Yeah, wait, no, I'll say this. I'll Bundy. I walked into

a stall the other day and I almost used the bathroom and tile padre stood up and said, This was me at the toilet. I was hoping you'd be Todd. Oh, trying to get you to use the bathroom and names

like God, what a

disgusting relationship he desires. He wanted you to defecate into

a marquee.

Look, I mean, we've all wanted to be a refrigerator in our time. You know, sometimes I pretend to be a toilet to make sure you're wiping, right?

Yeah. I mean, people don't know.

You know it so that we talked about it.

I mean, we'll take your word for it, but the holiday spectacular going off without a hitch really is. We're depending on it because the success of all of us sort of rides on us. Sort of completing these. These sort of, ah tasks we

test. You need

to send tall over the bass pro. I can get him a position. Yeah, I'm very good at leadership. Now. I can offer him a position and get him off your hands. And

we might even have a nice bond. The

Socialists, that I work with love labor. So if you need extra hands, they will work Well, you can pay everybody and we'll split the paycheck evenly. Uh, and so if you need some people to sort of set up, trust is or whatever the sort of staging equipment is our only those. Yeah,

are. That's called again. I think they're called trestle. Need those land on his hand with

a pencil? Why? I has

tall Padre Bennett the mall so much. You guys say he's here all the time, but I keep missing. He is a celebrity. He's slippery to me. I haven't you say is here every day. I just They've never seen him. Well, I'm on my round, you know, and I just Our paths aren't crossing now. It

seems

to me like you miss everybody is there? Is there anyone that you see frequently, Sam, besides us once a week?

Well, you know. Yeah, I see you guys. You know, I I look the mirror a lot. I'm

pretty

self focused, I guess. Right? My cooking. I'm bogging. Yeah. I'm taking the security truck out on bogging in the mall. You have created

a big mud bog out in the in the parking lot.

Tell me

and my homies relieve our

stress. You've got your dogs.

I got my dogs. That's right?

Every time. You, uh

we're on the case there on the case. These air security dogs, You guys, security done.

Right. They need a leader, though. I

found they have won. Every time I blow my horn, they come running again. If you see them running, I need help. Follow

the dogs. Okay. Well, look, I

think we need to do we need to do well is what I'm trying to say. God, you need to speak for yourself. I'm doing great, Okay? Sam's having a little trouble because you had one good week, Bill. Okay,

how do you

try to do a quick hakko way?

Because I think a kid is riding by on their bikes.

There's a

big bill. I'm just saying a lot could change in a week.

Fill your looks a lot like Michael Jackson. E thing is appropriate. I

don't think anything that is a

problem. This is how you do a haka.

So that is not what you know.

That's not yet Sam, do you? Dino

Hak is ready. In a

way, it is not a haka. This is a haka. I think this is

a haka. This is a haka. No, it's

This is my wife, Lisa. Marie, this is my wife. Please, Marie

along emotionless kiss with the cardboard cutout of

That's actually pretty good. That was the most similar to the Oh, that's why

you're probably gonna offend people, Bill, if you do Oaxaca in front of them the way that you're doing

could be honest, please. Something that I'm realizing I'm trying to put on the show is who am I trying to impress? Who? Everything is there. I just don't feel like I don't have, like, some sort of one singular person in my life.

Be right

on the nose. Yeah. You know,

I feel like I know, I

know. You know, for several years, it was my dad. I would also leave a seat open. When I did a

play over at the froth, Todd, me finally came. He said he loved the cost, stops you missed most of the production, is looking for cities, said you must be something doing something good. Because everybody else seemed like a always tried to connect with me by, uh, you know, saying the thing that actually ended up being a criticism. Oh, when I was playing basketball and he would say, Hey, hey, you're a 50% free throw shooter. You can work on that. He's there and he's so charismatic and a nice tall of your friends, and he seems to get along really well with them. But can you have a connection? Does it like you by crazy? Sometimes you meet somebody who sort of takes that role because they've all been gun together with your mom and you see those things in him to your life. Maybe maybe he'll be in prison who makes me feel good about myself. And you wonder why you're so susceptible to this obviously horrible treatment. You never be able to figure it out, because

anyway, um, who's your heart for Todd? Just try to

figure out who ever to do that for. And, um, you'll find your muse. Yes. Um, that's what I'm looking for

is amused. Uh, well, you know, I think we should maybe take a little quick break and and think about that, you know? And we'll have a guest here in the lounge on the second half today.

Quick break brought to you by hers.

Hers. Keep your hair her. He keeps her

hair. So you can lose hers there for him. Tired of

worrying about whether you so worried about whether your website, the heads of hair, that you

can't split anymore? Yeah. Is you not splitting your wife's fault? Something for your enjoy?

Are you one of those bumps, little boys? We'll come down toe Abercrombie kids tomorrow. Look at your body.

Alright, guys, we're back today. Uh, you know, we got a guest in the lounge. It's always nice to get some fresh perspective in here on. We're really not a similar Brave. Seems like we're all coming from the same place with the same sort of issues. But we got we got a good buddy in the in the lounge today. Somebody who we've met here at the mall. Hey, works over at the things remembered store, which is God. It's a good store, but we're so glad to have him here in the lounge to to see what's going on on. We've got Caleb Perrier. Caleb, how's it going?

I am doing so well. I have to say I remember it all. I remember when you guys walked through here. I remember the day my parents left me and committed a murder suicide. Well, I remember

you remember? Yeah, that you put that burns in your brain. It does. And it burns on a little commemorative plate that you made that

happened. I made a beer mug in honor my father with his name on it and revolver and And I made a cigarette tray with my mother's name. Wow.

Now, this murder suicide was big because it ended up not getting reported at all. Well, it kind of came and went in the news. It

was like, Who? What? A

relief. Yeah, they did it together. Kind of. Everyone was thrilled, namely me. I was the only witness to it, and I just sat there and laughed and laughed and laughed for three days now and then. By then I started trying three doubles tradition in my face,

like Shiva in the Jewish.

I don't know about that, but whoa, Yeah, Something negative reaction

to Shiva. Yeah, well, I don't know.

Caliber Podd. We'll start. Sounds like memory has kind of always been a thing that you've been interested in. So this job kind of seems like it

just sort of fell in your lap. It actually did it actually did I waas walking a baby? Well, but I was used to be a professional walking about. Never heard like that.

You shouldn't say

walking a double. I think they're faking it if they're not walking immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I say you're like, Get up. Let's go. We got outside. If you were

born a man straight and white in America

and you didn't become president, you failed. I tell them that every day you were given everything at birth and you really blew it. That's right. And so what was so funny is I guess I was especially walking this baby. So someone through, uh, graduation frame, Not the graduation diploma, but the frame that said Congratulations on graduation. Listen. Oh, my. This is a sign from God that I need to market things. Remember second grade,

maybe through a frame. It was sort of identifier on the frame that said this was made If things remembered, Was it?

Oh, no, not really. I just

knew I'm so familiar with the store because I used to, you know, get shot glasses. A great to places that pretended I'd been like Cancun, but I hadn't.

Right. You're decked out in a different sort of vacation vacation into none of

the no, I've never been to a hard rock Vibes Hard rock, Every

port of Vallarta hat

get Planet Hollywood eerie

Eso you like hard rock and plan. Well, yeah. I mean, I used to I

used to be really big bones in my house, You know, bro. Big Five, That's what ultimately killed them.

Play. I would guy and your mom was a

hard look at what they said. Who

is the murder? Who's the suicide? E.

Sorry, What obviously killed him, I guess technically was a double attempted murder in a double suicide. So they did. They tried to take each other out. They missed, and they were disappointed. So upset they were opposed to simultaneously shot themselves. They did. So a toasted murder slash successful suicide. That's exactly right. That's which ultimately is why it wasn't. I mean, none of it would have been my fault anyway. But ultimately why? You know

no charges, humor in that. You and I like the

last draw. The shocks of no one. But no one got mad. I'm so afraid they'd be mad at me. The police and everything, right

That's because you know when parents get divorced, a lot of people say that the kids take on the blame. Yeah. So I can imagine when two parents try to kill each other than kill themselves That maybe the kid might own some of that blame.

I did on

some of it because they said it was May. Yeah. They said you're ungrateful. And you, you know, you are a shit. Whoa! That was their last words. Your ungrateful and shit. Just bang bang, bang bang. Yeah, I'm not killing a child.

You never know what someone's been through. Like you walk into

that. That I

would love to engrave that on for you. Baseball had a diamond diamond watch.

Big differences. Big differences in prices. Well, that's what people

need to know. Things remembered is not. This is the big misconception. Everything costs the same. It's not

true. I think everything costs the exact same in your store. That's why I got when I read. Thanks. Remember, you think dollars, dollars, expensive

dollar store, though. That's the voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both. Thank you.

Here's my question for you. Can I bring in whatever I want to get remembered Or does it have to be

something in your inventory? Well, here's the video. I know for a fact that anything I have in my inventory features by a mile on that I say that everybody. Because what are you going to bring in Chuck's?

That I do have micex. I'm on your numb check. Juckes our number. You say you wanted. I miss I miss you, honey. Oh, that's nice. Do you have something that would beat that? That's maybe, like, more specific you are. What I would

do is I would get so we have a lot of Winnie the Pooh props. Like a honey jar.

Yeah. Okay. You're going literal with the honey s. So I

would say I miss you, honey, because is that what you're talking about? The sweet

I don't know you, Bill pitched. You don't miss your having. No, that was my life. O i c e my nunchucks

engrave going to get you. Yeah, well, what do women like you argue with a woman or I want Oh, boy, I Okay, So what I would do to just sort of, like, take it back and, you know, just to remind her of things. I'd get a beautiful alarm clock. I would say I miss you, honey on that because you probably missed when the alarm went off to shake up earlier than you. She always did. You miss that? I do. S hotel is I'm I'm snoozing in tow one pm Now without my honey

snooze eyes is a 10 minutes a couple, 10 minutes tops. News

is when you don't set an alarm and you sleep till one every day.

I think that's depression, That's that.

So you're two ideas for a Mr Honey as a prop from winning the Pearl or on alarm clock for a beautiful A beautiful, beautiful

radio capability.

What makes it? Well, I mean, it's mostly see through its most of glass vehicle, and on the back is a mirror, so that when the alarm goes off, you pick it up and you look at yourself. You're turning off so you can remind yourself how great.

Oh, wow. Uh,

first thing in the

booth, right When you

open your eyes, everybody likes I believe that's

the person I want to be all day. And I want to remember myself, as is the person that I wake up as in the morning. Howard, do

you have a pitch for something you want to get engraved way? Got the guy well, in the phone

booth. Don't hang on one second. Do you need to

take this says nine

11? Yes, I'd like I'd like to report in the solace.

Hold on now. From earlier. Marley, I just remembered. I remember, man. But you haven't hang on policemen. You have. You have to call

911 engraved on your phone

case. I sure do. You said you know Warren off traders are not trade. You know, traders and,

yes, people who are out to get high. Let's see who this is. Cheryl's. Okay, Good. I have reported a new assaults. He was a child. Ono of about 38 and he kicked three foot your age and he kicked my knees and tried to tattoo me with the middle finger on it. You forgot

about this?

I did. I totally forgot. Okay. All right. Thank you. Like one of his baby. Okay. He was walking, right? Thank you guys, for letting me make a call. It sounded really is urgent. It's urgent.

Well, uh, a three foot eight child tried to kick you and then put a tattoo of a middle finger on you. Yeah, well, where's the tattoo? You

just don't see it. I see it is a very successful toe. Very, very fast. But not a great drama. Yes. No. Is that sticking book? This is what is sticking, Pope. That sort of

You dip in needle into a

hammer, and there was like Angelina Jolie has 100 of them.

Yes, Yes, yes, yes, yes,

he did say he was He was using a hammer. Yes, I think we'll

just just against you Don't know. I

work security here at the mall. You dio? Yes. A lot of people don't know because, you

know, it doesn't seem to be that effective, but And never have. Robert, I have a problem every day. Yeah. I could really use you. I know. Is there any way you could work things? Remember,

we'll have to have Teoh

work the whole mall. I can't just work things. Remember my stories made entirely of glass. So it's easy to smash your smashing your store. Well, no, but I just think it's

easy. Tokyo, maybe swing by things remembered because the mall robber is out and about. Oh, that's right and keeps striking and you never catch them. I feel like I'm hot on their tail. Could be man. Could be woman stolen One thing

from every store every day. Really? Yes. 10 a.m. Every day he makes the rounds.

That seems easy to catch. I think

we just we're making the rounds

at the same time. But I'm like a couple stores behind him.

Will you do always

run up after he's gone and say, Did I miss him? And we're like, Yes, you missed him again

And you're coming from the place the mall robber went

to, uh oh, it's almost

like you guys were going into reverse like reverse order where you start where he ends. He starts where you where you end. And then you guys should be meeting in the middle. But I think that's when you go on your bathroom break.

Yeah, it's that significant. More your the mall robber. Funny, they put us on a video and speeded up. Do you know what I mean?

Todo Especially

because somehow every day the toilet paper hanging from your foot gets longer and longer. I don't know if it's you keep stepping on this new piece every day. Or if there's one piece

that's collecting or you're not taking any of the pieces of toilet paper off your shoes.

I mean, you know, it goes with you. Why get rid of it? It's a new

part of you. You're bigger than you were before.

That's feel so grateful. I'm trying

to remember. That's beautiful. And two, I'm trying to remember.

I'm trying to remember. Could I get that agreement? Well, things like

there wasn't an empty storefront next to things remembered. It had looked like a store called I'm trying to remember was gonna move in. But you squashed that

right? They forgot they were there. They weren't bright. They weren't You You need to go see my mentor. But whatever. Yes,

it was the movie about marijuana forgetting stuff

gets you right in the mirror. Yeah, posted. Yeah, way they kept forgetting. And I said, Well, this business is listed as a business person as an l a. An ex speaker, as you know, as a former trainer of dolphins, I know what I'm doing. And I know this will not

you end up expanding your store into that second storefront, which is makes it the largest things remembered on record.

It is. It is, according to Guinness Guinness. Yes, yeah, yeah, we're big fans of Guinness, Guinness said. We cannot. We cannot believe we can't believe it.

They didn't Ripley's Believe it or not, it

was a huge you didn't read about. It was a huge lawsuit. They

showed up and said, Believe it or not, we're here. We're

getting Yes, this ended up winning.

And then and then a van screeched to a halt and Dean Cain jumped out and he said, I need this. Don't take this.

That's right. That's right. Anyway, Guinness immediately gave Dean Cain satis creature we've ever seen.

Dustin Diamond has that Dustin Diamond. You just have the status screeching through the Guinness Certify screen.

And that was a recognition for his

porno hold. Like get believe? No.

Believe in a way that was Colon. That's a big part of the

really what? It was called screech Colin,

right? That's right. Was he supposed to? Was it supposed

to be? But he spoke to me like, Yeah,

e o e should

not have brought I should not have brought. That was actually very unprofessional. And we are in a mall. Yes. Please. Please take a sacred

anymore. Let's take a deep breath and compose ourselves.

Where do you work, Howard?

I work up to the arcade. I don't know if you've ever been up there. There's the arcade upon the mezzanine. Uh, like this sort of floor. That's not a floor. It's just an arcade in the food court. Ah, and I actually Well, you know, I've been working there, but I've been having a lot of issues recently, so I haven't been able to spend a lot of time in the arcade. Dusty is carpet. Yeah, I've got the dusty's carpet get get a certified dusty Oh uh,

certified. So that's not technically a record.

That Guinness is also in the certification. Billy. They're trying to compete with J D Power. Try asserted by anything they can I

have again a certified worst car.

What kind of car? It's a sloppy. You were in one

of those commercials right where they where they put you and two other people who stood in a warehouse. And they said, If you're going to look at if you were gonna find the worst car. What would you What would you think?

What brand do you think it is?

Right. And then you said I don't know mine. Yeah,

on then and being that. And then they did a whole campaign where they did do. But we're like, I showed up picking my kids up from school and met that car, and they had the kids, like on Mike being like, Oh, God, he's not even supposed to be here. Wait. A restraining order on a

way to stop the registered sex offender because of an accident. Oh, boy. You see, oh, illegally legally

tell strangers. Well, yeah. I hand out a business card with tiny writing on every time I see people. So you might not have noticed

I didn't, but I'd love to hear.

Well, the front is just my website, so people throw it out. Anyway,

Google is not your website. Yeah, that's a missing. That's that's Mr

Google Search bar with Todd Padre in the

You know, if you go to google dot com, you put my name and that's my website. That's free, baby.

Your mug shot that you're you're

mispronouncing. It's called a head shot

with. Just because you've used in your eyes is a three only photo anyone would take.

You got cast in reenactments for his own crimes.

I thought you were recast because you could not get out. Yeah,

every cast agree on the day

they cast you as Nick Nolte's mug

shot yet. Uh, but anyway, I work out at a middle school gym because it's why, because it's free. So I work out at that. I work out on the grounds there, and

there's a change at the middle school by video. Like that big umbrella thing that you put up and you'll run into a ship. 10

under the on back. They'll do the see saw you

had a bunch of kids with the dodgeball. Yeah, what is three reps of 10 maybe three wraps? E You're not doing 30. You just You just put it pulling like parachute to the ground three times like you're

doing three reps in the county

Tennessee. I noticed that

your wrists are incredible. Thank you. Finally. Finally,

incredible in that they're so thin there.

So boned bird for breasts. They really

are. Okay, well, I don't hear any complaints in the bedroom. Have a

McCall, your screams of the bedroom. What's up? Not

so, anyway, I work out. I was changing in the locker room, was full nude, and I had to take a call, so I stepped outside.

His agent was calling you dropping? That's a sad

because we once a day to drop me right

when you

were getting your body together.

Yes. Yeah. Well, that's what I was. I'll show him. It was kind of the working

in a concrete way. Take this guy to take

that. I stepped outside and I were forgot. I was full nude. But again, I was more traumatized than the kids because they pointed and said smaller than mine. Yeah. Children. I think they're the sex offenders.

You tried that That argument? Did you have an

attorney? You just represented yourself.

Never had an attorney.

Well, know yourself represented Cochran's corpse. I was with them for a while. Uh, so

you yourself represent, But you say you're a part of Ah,

yeah. I'm hoping to be partner cop Cochran's corpse.

What does it takes to do that? What is the tape? Yeah,

I need to get off a major celebrity, so I say yes right now. I'm working with the retrial for the Menendez brothers. Okay. They're not made your celebrities. Oh, are you kidding? May they were referenced in the cable guy.

Okay, Right after guy. What other benchmark there that say?

I love to their sweaters. And that's not a lie. I thought they were crew next. Better so nicely here

on the mile mall. And I will say that you have a style heavily influenced by I

dio ideo. I remember watching that trial and just astonished by the fashions. And I really thought like this is going somewhere.

Yeah. You You pitched a fashion

show in the court, Did called guilty. And essentially, what would happen is if any victim or perpetrator came through, judge their fashions, and I would say, guilty or not guilty, and then

that was sort of it. So imagine

it's 1/2 hour show and willing to work.

And that ruling held up in court. Well, it held up in style style court on a three points. I mean, and I

would do basketball rules, so three points. But you did really well. Two points men, and then a slam dunk met like honey poodle skirt on point or whatever. I did it in the fifties.

Very progressive. 50 show. So you would do You would judge people. Women loved me. Back in the fifties, I got so much women would expose themselves to me. It seems

like it seems like, Yeah, like you. Ah, a lot of your sort of good mood seems to come from remembering sort of past experiences. You're in the right profession.

I absolutely am. I'll remember. I never forget. I mean, I won't ever forget. Yeah,

you have. You don't have any. 9 11 are something that's supposed to be remembered forever. Never for gotten think that things remember. Do you have a little section? Because as we know, everyone

goes to the mall and they at least make a stop for 9 11 Murder

Justice What I want. Thank you. This I've taught. I knew that felt right when it came out of my mouth. 9 11 merch. You think I'm not

making money off something like that? Okay, so that's I think that's a

you get choked

up. I am really just tell you. I know no one. When before that

I had no I mean, I have no friends, but I was You know, the point is this. It was a horrible time in America and the world. I mean, that you were a superpower on. And that was when you said that was actually good open in a romantic comedy. And ever since then the world.

That is why I heard

she's been offered role since 9 11 But she said, No, I can't go

on. You know who could. Everyone was stunning in the nineties, you know. Now it's just like God, you couldn't have anyone in the Booth Point is movies really? They're not what they used to be. My God, Who can forget only you with Marisa Tomei and Robert?

Well, not us, because you're your store is heavily dedicated. Teoh Marisa Tomei Romantic comedies Yeah, yeah, and free uh, pre written Robert Downey Jr Renaissance.

That's three Fontaine memory. That's right there. They made two movies about him in one year. That's right now.

And you remember that. Of

course I remember what we all dio. Your story really has become

sort of a time capsule of medium sized historical event. That's right.

It does also feel like you live there

and it's your storage unit. Well, I'm gonna tell you something. I technically not supposed to say that I looked there. Right? Is it is a storage unit of sorts, but it's also to me, a palace. I mean, it's really is just sort of, um

you know how,

like when worms make holes? Yes, sure. Hey,

metaphor to describe your human living.

That's right, because it is sort of like a path that a worm would make. That's how you go through my story, right? It's great. And you know what I do? I have to do something, uh, seven times a month, called name your price, and you could just come in a name. It

Oh, I don't agree with it. But

you can name that.

Yeah, there's name your price, but that's also in the same days. Get

the fuck out. That's right. And get the fuck out means like it's just, you know, sometimes I cry my hair. Obviously, every morning on the morning

would obviously try to

clothe. That's the problem on the mornings. It doesn't work out for May. It's get the fuck out. So you never know. So it's fun for people What? They don't know what day it's gonna be and you know what I mean And I'll just Are

you just leaving the

curlers in longer? To go for the curl is putting them in earlier. Now I put them in right when I get off the clock at three PM or whatever and eyes sort of nice the shortest hours in selling. People want Tonto

City. I get that

right. It's like being part of 99 33.

What's the disc? Sloblo three That? Yeah,

you're open from whenever you get back

from lunch. But you weren't there before lunch. So whenever you come in after lunch to about three, that's right. That's right. So it's usually about William. What? 1 45 to 3

You do. You usually eat

at the mall like your there. You of I support. Yeah, I support all our local businesses, and I'm friends with everyone. I've had relationships with half of the people there. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, really, McDonald's

is not like a local business. They just have, you know, it's local. It's right here. What would you call that far away?

I have a local McDonalds. But it's not exactly buying. I go to my

local make. Well, then what is that?

I guess you do have your

But I doubt that's right. That's right. I'm sorry, but yes, I do support. Look, this isn't I do go toe McDonald Did you go to Burger King and you get a chick fil A? I do.

Yeah. You gotta chick fil a. I don't care. It's going. Yeah. Yeah. What is the political

thing that you associate with Chick fil A that you're worried about being shamed about?

Well, I think they're embarrassed. I think house get embarrassed by those ads. Imagine being if you were walking on all fours and they just put you on your hind legs for ad they have been anti cal for a

location that cows are They cannot spell. There it is, stupid. I was

racist. Here's what I will say about cows. I had a cow

one time. It was I mean, let's just talk for saying OK, But

that was just that one cow. Yeah, I did not.

I did not say like, Oh, I assume your entire population

of cows you can't see. Why did you want a cow.

Well, it would take the

jobs that other other other animals and people wouldn't take

through this. I've never owned a cow, but I have friends that are yes. Good guys. They are good guys. You never hang out with them. But they are

good guy reference. But aren't all cows women?

Well, I mean, that would explain my ex

wife, all cows being women. That doesn't make a lot

more sense about your

ex wife. That's right away. You've talked about her. If she was an actual cow, do What did she get in the divorce? My guy?

Sort of Still Very

sadly, no. Nothing to the table. Are

you all divorced in Mr Honey's?

Some of us haven't found the right lady yet. Uh, you're trying, but currently dating his step dad. Well, I've been forced into a relationship with my step, dad because I can't

worse. Usually force now willing. Well, he walked Dad in hell, and his step dad

confided in him. Ah, sort of like

what was in the locker

room. Talk long. There's hung about for thin, started to hit on him. And Howard has

a backbone, so he couldn't stand up don't talk about my mom like that. So

I ended up just agreeing and saying, like, you know, really horrible things about my mother, which

turned this guy on.

Yeah. Made May s got him into it. And now I just don't have the heart to let him down.

Situation it is. I understand that. I mean, you just want to be loved. Exactly. You just want to make people happy.

Exactly. That's honestly, Every day in my life, I wake up looking in a mirror saying, I hope you make at least one person happy today and I make him smile.

I'd love Tadre that Ana Mir for you. So you don't have to say it anymore. You know what I mean?

I really think at least one person happy today on a mirror

that great. Yeah, right. And that includes the phrase on the mirror.

And what do you put it on on a mirror? Yeah, but then it's a

little bit, you know, you don't have to. It's not as much pressure because how many times you gonna make someone happy on your right? So it's literal, literal, landing on a mirror and gives

me a the only time would have been maybe in the eighties, when you're getting a little geeked on cocaine or something.

So, Howard, were you

Attardi part party? You know, let's just say I've seen cocaine

before. Oh,

so you've been in a room with

cocaine? Let's just say

I know a room in a house that had some cocaine. Howard,

you got kicked off the set of Scarface. You are so doughnuts on the soda, scarred, By the way. That was a real cocaine.

You? That was creamer. No, that was not That was just blue creamer her nose out.

Say this. It made my nose and teeth numb.

Didn't make him cream.

Did it taste like cream? Well, I

was drinking coffee the same time. So I can tell. I can tell you that I just over cream in my coffee way Don't need to talk about my

eighties cocaine habit. Guys did exist because this is new. This is

too much new information about

me. I think you're just nervous because we busted you. Yeah.

Yeah, we busted you snorting cream on the Scarface.

God, you are degenerate. You should go to jail

for what was

up with that clown in that show.

Remember the

show they do in Scarface when they love? Don't look at me like that, Harris. For

those of you who know do you know there's a clown? There's a clown in

the movie Scarface. Whether there's like a stand up comedian and they shoot the place up and then a clown comes out, it's so inappropriate.

So what else do

you sell? Your store? Oh, sorry. Well, we're not like scary movies were to classifies. Scary movie. Scary, violent. Here's the hell out

of me, right? I sell non recyclable water bottles that I engrave straight for On the go

the meddler there,

Geo. No, I hate heavy metal. This is just on plastic. And you okay? Yeah. I engrave your so

you side with your dad. You don't like rock

n roll? I hate it. Oh, the only rock and roll I like. It's like Lady Gaga,

but that's that's kind of

that's what Did you see? Shallow. I do. You know what I mean? Stars. Yes. Stars like that. Yeah, that is Iraq. I don't like Axl Rose and I don't like, um Who Gypsy rose. I e don't like the rose parade. It is. That's all the roses.

Well, jeez. Caliber. Uh, you know, the big holiday spectacular is coming up. Todd's organizing it. Are you Are you planning anything special? Any sort of nice deals or anything?

For for the real good deal, I'll be dressed his record. He and

it's not a good yes, it

costs. I won't be the only one in costume. And so you come and you buy something and you look at me so by one c one, one raggedy Andy,

What an offer. Raggedy.

And so that you guys heard it here first on the day of the holiday Spectacular. We've gotta buy one c one deal and things remembered. You can go in

there by saying that costume, by the way, very haphazard. And it's honestly scared. It's hereabouts. Very because, like, fucked up clown

technical. Technically, the costume is called yarn head because they couldn't get the rights. So

it's a little off on the color

scheme is all wrong.

It doesn't take anything that's not there. No, it's actually yellow and red. It looks like it looks like they instead of the red, white and blue. It's yellow and red, so people get upset, but we're not the only superpower anymore. We have to acknowledge the Chinese want

you make. It's not raggedy it and at all. No, it's like it's trying Levi's yard. Get your head out of the sand, America. It almost looks like an off brand, Ronald McDonald like a scary because the mouth is

too big. Yeah, and the shoes are too big. And it is and always screaming about the inflation of currency. Right? I put a yellow paint on my todo

teams That's bringing anyone two years stolen. Well, why wouldn't you? Because I don't tell them what they're going to see. Great pop out like last

year. But I was What do you call it? The Santa Santa Santa People probably expecting it Christmas thing, right? You

were a Santa. You were yarn beard

yard wasn't technically Santa. It was It was red white in your,

uh Well, I think people would be excited to see that. A lot of that, um

uh, we're really glad you came into Yes, Honestly, it's It's been a really Oh,

no. I thought it was nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Remember

this for a long. Yeah. I love that.

we won't be able to not. You've definitely let you left us all with a souvenir. Uh uh. No, you can You can describe it if you like.

Um, each listen to me, uh, curtains air forever. And so I think these have been around for a while. They listen. They recently renovated my building, and so I asked to keep

it unloaded

a building's worth of curtains. And you're you're each getting 45 minutes with your name on it, so you can give them his gifts. If you wanted, you could just do what I do. And mine doesn't have a name or anything engraved on it. You know what? Because I think you're actually terrible. Your job. Oh, wow. So that that was just also given note. Thanks. My china rules. Yeah, that's right. That's random. I mean, I just thought of that, all right? And it's also, you know, a lot about a lot of people feel. Get your head out of the sand.

My looks like, uh, there's a lot of writing. It looks like a journal where you're trying to process seeing your parents kill each other.

That was That was personal. I didn't realize I was embroidering on a curtain, but I But I wanted you to have it. You can remember the cost of war. Oh, okay. The war of the home.

It turns into a manifesto at the end. Here

it does. I shot anyone. Your first folks can Dio Factory will

be doing a fashion show at Andy Warhol's factory where innocent victims and perpetrators walk through our people who were wrongfully convicted of crimes. When I make them feel better about their fashion,

I saw I've always said a few the names because you haven't asked everybody about Harvey Weinstein convicted.

You know what I hate? I hate I hate This is what this is all I want to say these air, not opinions that are popular but their opinions that our opinions and a very, very opinionated sometimes don't agree of my own opinions. You know, Hollywood is about not that we're in Hollywood, but Hollywood just you should know about doing something different. They have putting out the same thing over a number of different.

I see curious to see it because if a fashion show makes people talk, that means it's it's doing something.

Yeah, well, I hope they don't talk during it. Think straight up Quiet. Harvey Weinstein walking down a runway

way will be talking.

Yeah, it's tradition for in the fashion show in Milan. In

any whistles is a factory

is now a whole foods writing. It is a hold. I just You just walk through the eye, they'll kick us out. No doubt

holding that sounds like a wild ride. Man, we really appreciate you coming into the lab today. Feels good to get to know our neighbor a little. Ah, and you know, Hey, if you're ever if you're ever around again, just pop on in and say hello. We'll see around the mall for sure. But everybody out there who's listening We appreciate you tune in today for another episode of the teacher's lounge until next time.