Extra Crunchy with Massage Kiosk Employee Kevin (Sam Richardson)

Can we talk

about chips at Mexican restaurant? Finally. Okay. Yeah. Just keep a man.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know.

Sometimes I like to have the option toe to cut myself off. I appreciate it more if you like him or it. How would you like more person who's ever said no to more chips? Yeah, And look at my my body.

I You look like

you're dying of too much salt. It's not working

well, How did How does someone look like they're dying of too much salt your swollen and you look dry? Well, that's not because of salted. You

try even though your water law

Yeah, you're somehow holding water weight, but your skin is flaking Push, push on my skin. Push on my skin.

Uh, is that is that the new pull my finger? Our

It's a thing. One of my one of the nephews of one of the ladies have been hanging out with one of the mall walkers. She brought her nephew to the mall the other day, and hey, he taught me

nephews of a lady. You've been one of the nephews of one of

the late Marguerite, the lady who wears the baby blue. Ah, windbreaker Suit. Who in the small Walker Group I'm in. Well, she brought her little niece or nephew Teoh to them all the other day.

It's not hard to tell. I mean,

yeah, I don't want to claim to

know, You

know, I know the name is hard. Her nephews. Marguerite's nephews. Name is Margarita,

right? Yes, it is a salt.

Well, I don't know what to say. I She that he the child showed me push my skin and I thought it was really funny. So I tried to throw the kids are doing doing push my skin There's

lot of heads these days. Yeah, There's a

a

lot of new little funny jokes. You know how when we were kids, it was Put your hand on your face. If your hands bigger than your face, you got AIDS or cancer?

What has never aids but yes.

Yeah, Well, by the way, that that test didn't work because my hand was smaller than my face and I still had you day. I didn't go to a doctor for 10

years. We'll try it again. Put your hand over your face.

Oh! Oh, my God! Jesus, Todd diagnoses s You didn't even push tied

scare. No money put it. Pushed his hand and he put it because of pushing my We pushed his skin boot boot took slash. It's OK. It's OK. Todd. I didn't know you could part without singing a song. Oh, yeah?

You get shot. Uh, I didn't do it this time. Yeah, that's mine. I but I go back to the question. I do like more chips, but I wouldnt may ask all honestly, think about it for a long time. Just so I don't think that, you know, I've been on Lee waiting for more chips,

right? You try to play it off as if it's, you

know, breadsticks at the olive garden.

No, you like. It's

the first time the idea ever occurred to me that I could get more. Not that is the only thing that's been on my mind

since I had the first trip. Sometimes it feels like you're doing that performance a little broad. It feels like you don't show your work quite so much that say I

am a waiter and I'm coming your out of chips or breadsticks or whatever is free at the beginning of the meal and I come over there.

Oh, uh, could I get you guys some more chips? Excuse me. Uh, could I get you some more chips? More chips? Yeah, Just we Are you

busy? Um, no. You some hors champs

turn into Miss Piggy. Now he's pulling out a pen and paper.

Oh, carry the one

says number of chips written on the piece of paper. Number of chips I've eaten number of chips to be.

Why is it keeping up with it on the pros and cons list is really so you have to count the chips anywhere. We're not charging you per chip

chip charge. Know where they're all free people? There's checkbook. Just to clarify my my order of a water eyes still coming out at some point,

that was We're going to

get you that we're gonna get you the water,

okay? And that's all I'm ordering. I

was gonna come back

over here. I was about to ask you for your meal order. Yeah, Yeah, I'll

take one chimichanga. Okay. Actually, let's cancel the chairman. Sean guy. I still wonder what I want. So maybe

just four chips, I guess if

I could get more chips.

This is an act out. Is this how it goes every time for you to the world? That's fast forward

and say I'm back after I didn't cancel the chimichanga because you didn't order. I'm back here a second time. It's time to order. I

brought you the chips there. And did you get in the water yet? I had. He has the water. He has a second batch of chips, which is quickly gone through.

And I'm back over for the order. What's this? Also level, right? Saucer level is full. I get everything's full. He's not eaten.

Doesn't eat salsa. Just eats lots of dry chip. I've

added more to the salsa. You brought cells of her home in a

bag in your attic? It you ever forget? Okay, so I'm back for the order. Uh, okay. So have you decided what you want to eat?

Oh, there you are. Uh, I was

just here. I just dropped these chips off.

It feels like forever ago. Okay, let's see. Oh, man. Sorry I ate those trips so fast. They're all gone now.

I know you were holding up your hand and mouthing. Check, please. There's no check yet.

Could get the truck. There

isn't one yet. You have been charged for anything.

Oh, great. Um well, I'll just take another order of chips them.

We This is full. This'll baskets full of shit.

Oh, hi there. Have the table. Sidewalk. Thank you. Oh, did you order from another way there?

Well, it's complimentary, right?

No, no, this is a hard process.

Oh, um well, the table

sidewalk guy who pushes the little cart, I'll pass that will pass. Okay,

um, before you go though,

Yeah? Do

you do

more chips? Okay. I guess I could get some more chips.

Thank you.

Why do you Why are you going

over my head for things is my section.

Oh, I just thought maybe there was Ah, language barrier. Whoa White. Okay, well, sorry I'm not a racist. I think white people can also speak for England.

I mean, I guess that's well, I got Sarah. You imply that you are right, sir. You have to get I gotta go. Yes, you have to get Okay. Well, fuck you and your sombrero have to go. Well, look, get it through the door.

You Good luck getting it through the door.

So no one who is this guy? I'm the

manager here, and good luck. You get your sombrero through the door. We're not

exactly who I wanted to speak. Teoh.

This guy's been a problem, Jerry. This guy's gonna problem the whole time. Excuse to make your okay, nor I'm white. Going problem? A constant strips, many a tree. Think, Think, Think I don't know that we were going free bird, Don't play free by I don't play Freebird. Freebird. I don't

play favorites. Podd es amigo.

So this is how it

goes when you go to a Mexican restaurant of the word How really?

That's insane. Todd. Todd Out of no man, that's e. I think you need to think about how you treat people and not try toe make. I

can't believe what, five minutes on chips. Yeah. I mean, we've been want to do this Chip Chung for a long time. Chunk chunk a chip. Well, anyway, what about chocolate chips? Oh, okay. That I'll take less up. You want left sugar Candies? Cookies

only, um, speaking of, uh, good stuff, guys. Ah, What you going back here? You get, uh, too much good stuff over there. What? I am PM too much good stuff on. I didn't go to him. Was that what swag got a big bag of swag Like marijuana? Yeah. No, of course. A big bag of dusty light green. Sh wag. I don't have any. Which Wag seeds? No, no, that's not it, guys. I feel like maybe I should It is in some

of the

good stuff. I don't know. Maybe I should put myself in time out. Honestly, maybe I should punish myself. Howard, you're an adult. You Yeah, I know I'm an adult, but I feel like I keep making the same mistake every week. And

do you think you need to be treated like a kid by yourself to learn?

Yeah, I think I need well, being punished by other people has notoriously never worked for me. So

you're trying to parent yourself. Oh, stop touching

me. Stop patting me on the back in my

hair. Yeah, I don't push this getting Don't push my

skin. Guys, we've been recording this whole time. All

right, young man, time out. Your father find you? Think about what you've done. Goddammit.

You also listen to your older brother.

I have? Yeah, Yeah, I have been over him.

Put him to the ground. And I've also got some things to say. I want you

to go to sleep when you're in time Out. Don't listen to your family. Thank you. You

know where your mother is, but listening Well, well. About

what could be

a boy After I

was saying before. Ah, that's true. You know? Well, after the episode, I will. I'll do my punishment, guys, but ah, everybody Welcome. Do another every side of the

teachers way to three way community

way. Still have the music. We don't got the license Ran out? No, the license didn't run

out. We're getting tickets, huh? Why do I keep getting tickets on street souping? If our music license hasn't I

don't know. Why do we keep getting parting? Take. I don't have the answers to these questions, but I do a licensing guy. I you guys have thrust jobs upon me that I'm not capable of. Okay. I'm barely capable of the one job that I have, which is recording the episodes of the teacher's lounge, which used to be the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. But of course, we're dead. Inhale out on work release at a mall. I am Howard Levis. Used to be biology teacher. And now Ah, I banged on the gate of an arcade trying to get

back in. Yeah, well, you know, life is about changing growth. Howard. So proud

of you. I'm trying.

Todd. Padre, I'm playing in the holiday spectacular in the big event. Mary moment. Wait.

Is there a big event to

the big event is happening after the big moment. The the holiday expects my take. I'm very excited about happy. Merry Christmas to everybody yesterday. Um, we're about a week away from the holiday spectacular.

Suppose it's why is it not happened yet? Why is it that I was getting pushed? It is timely.

Well, you know, you could do a holiday spectacular whenever, especially if you're having issues putting it together. Ah,

this is like those people who leave their holiday decorations up way too late. But with an event.

Well, and this could go through March or April? We're not sure yet. But what? Let me ask you this. What's the best part of Thanksgiving? The death thing. Okay, Family, keep going. Way off the travel. Keep going.

Having to deal with your family issues

when really you just put him aside. Normal.

Keep going. Keep

paying for the travel. OK, Even though you're about to go somewhere for Christmas,

let's move further away from the travel billets. That's not gonna be

Oh, dessert pie

Closer. We're getting close

Remembering how to spell kayak. Get down on the website TSA strip search. Voluntary Stripping down at the TSA Stripping down inside that little machine Biopsied you guys, by the way, was hoping for more radiation in the machine. You're

getting the machine and you do a TV.

Well, it's like

Well, yeah, they said, Why do you think they say Put your hands up above your head? You take your

clothes off, you don't do it fast, right? Do you never do it fast, right? There's no anticipation.

Yeah, You'll blow your load right away if you take If yours off too fast, you'll skeet. I don't Sorry, I didn't mean ski o e. You know, people say shot your wad, but they're just kidding around, right? Bad,

OK, due to a lot of

yeah, yeah, I love when people say

blow your load in a, uh, a a

around women? Yes, just like in a regular conversation.

Well, as we all know the best part of Thanksgiving, his leftovers on and

sit on the board. Uh, one one person hood on Where do you

survey these people? Because it's a one person at their house. Just you

on the board. Hey, I look whatever it ISS

survey says, it's up there. All right, You got a survey. That's your opinion board.

Well, Todd, family opinion feud. I'm pitching it around right now, Harvey. So I pitch it to Harvey 11. Ah, Okay. And, uh, I think it's ago. I think it's ago. ABC is doing a lot of awesome game shows

you left off the second half of that away. You're Teoh

away? Well, yes, it's a go away right now. As far as every time I pitched it, it's been a go away. I definitely got the green light to keep going away.

What color was the green light? What's that? What color was the green light? Bright red, uh,

green lit right out of the building was a uninterrupted path. Bad. 1/3 base coach waving you through way excitedly really waved me through. But you get thrown out

somehow. Well, yeah, and I went hard into the catcher.

That was the descended at

the line. I was way out. I was way out are hard into it. But the thing is with ABC is

I think they could

only give Alec Baldwin a certain of amount of second chances for the gun to replace him with a different angry, liberal white man on. I'm hoping it's gonna be me. I've been working on my treating everyone around me like shit. Yeah, I've already got the bad daughter relationship. I've got a terrible trump impression. I've worked with his guy.

Good guys. Bad people love a bad trump.

I think you're right. I think you're right. It s ah, you know, But long story short, bad Trump will be at the Christmas event. Uh, and I I actually am really excited about where we are for with questions for daddy. Uh, I'll just leave. That is. Ah, cliffhangers. We introduce everybody.

My name is Sam weatherman. Currently, mall security used to be the driver's ed teacher and spiritual guru. Now I'm chasing this small robber around managing my social media website and waiting to fry this guy in the fuckin fountain. You know, you had another viral moment this week. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It's not necessarily

a compliment. I do feel like it damaged. Um, I wouldn't say your brand.

What? Jiffy Lube freak up? Yes. Jiffy Lube freak out. Uh, it was I feel like

you were out of control. Yeah.

Jiffy Lube freak out in the peanut butter. I'll

you were obviously mad

about something you were bringing in. Oh,

I see. I see. Yes. Well, so I was in the peanut butter screaming at a stock boy at my local like, why doesn't this peanut butter work as a safe? And I was trying to test out the different looms in the peanut butter I'll and they were saying, What does our

lube, Sam?

Okay, Jif. It's a peanut. It's just a peanut butter called if it's not a Jiffy Lube.

Okay. What you can use them is, luv, I don't really need to take sexual advice from you guys. No offense, but I'm on some other shit. He's on other ships, right? I'm on my back of my bullshit you're back on fucking peanut butter. Fucking tip. Yeah, I fucking Well, I don't say this. I'm here for it. Yeah, absolutely. Stands. Teoh. Yeah. I mean, you ever since I started doing fashion Nova thick I've been I've been getting into some new lifestyle choices. Choices. What you

want confession of a thick to fashion nova Extra countries.

That's right. I'm now fashion over extra crunchies. Fifth spokesperson. And what you do is you show How does this play out? Because we obviously

know fashion Nova is a very, um, cheap

powered, necessarily G. It's affordable. It's sorry. Three car Your girl, Wearable clothes, sheep in the way that forever 21 Ischia. The clothes fall apart Easy. They look great, but you gotta be careful. I wear number. Come right. That's in the ad copyright. Well, that's what I say. Look, be careful in the extra Chunky adds I eat as I eat big old spoonfuls

of peanut butter while showing around and flapping my

ass. But if you eat too much peanut butter, the seams burst right open. So it's extra chunky.

But you don't want to go into full on nut

way. Not not,

but back to this viral freak out. Thank you. I don't want to make you upset as we talk about this now, because that you ended up dumping a bunch of milk in the aisle and slipping, sliding through it. It became more of like a viral playground at some point.

Yes, that's right. Thank you.

I mean, have you ever slipped and slowed on milk slowed? Yeah, because you weren't going fat immediately screech. Oh, no, no, no. Well, and that's when the stock

boy started to sort of turn around and he brought the rope out that they get all the carts in, and he was just sort of slow dragging

through. No, I didn't even have to really slide

under my own accord. He slowed me through, and then he

connected you to a bunch of other nuisances, right? And it was as if a bunch of carts were together. But it was all the nuisances. A

woman haggling over a can of beans was

by. We've got this new, really cool thing that gathers the cards just using an electrical magnet charge. And so they hook to sell up and suck the magnet into that woman's foot and the current run through all of us. So we kind of became one. It's kind of a human centipede of, Ah, married now that

there was that guy who had shoved all of that meat in his pants the like meat from the meat. I'll have you guys. It was the same guy who, like, went viral doing that once already. Meat, man,

Meat, man Prophecy. Yeah, Meat man profits. Yeah. Um, yeah, I've had a big week. You know, I think I'm

sort of acting out because that my job here, it's tough to keep the peace. You want to try to control

everything? Yeah. So these freakouts are really just really busted. I think you

nailed that. You hit the nail on the head when you said it's tough wanting to do it, though, because it would not be tough to do it. It's It's finding the motivation. It seems for you to actually do your job.

You're being locked out of your own game. So if we want to talk about security, Fuck you one. I'm Thank you. Thank

you. Well, let's not get contentious here, all right? A lot of us are being big failures, right? now. And so they're

your bring. I'll bring me back down to Earth. Todd, you're very right. I just

don't want that to tear us apart. And speaking of not big failures, Bill

Yeah, I feel like you're honestly speaking from a place that's honestly frustrating me, because

I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you guys, As you all know, I work at Bass Pro, but there is a man who is the bass pro. Um, he is the professional bass man and is a fisherman. Now, I need a little bit of clarity. Is the professional bass because your credit different for the same words in different ways? Way No new word, right? Why a He is the main bass man is a fisherman or, say,

a man who has

a lot of it. You have to live

the life to be able to sell the lifestyle. Okay? And he's the main bass pro math and fish from Maine, Or he's now, you know, he's a man who sits in a big deer stand in the middle of

the bass pro and makes sense it. And

we, uh, we always Well, I'm gonna say we worship. I would say you worship them. OK, you do pray five times a day facing him. Wow. Listen, you roll it your little carpet. I listen, I roll up my car, but I broke

my big cars. You put the whole carpet down. You remove a carpet from the room?

Yeah, I put a whole carpet down and then I get in my waiters and my little fishing inner tube, and I hook a

lure in my mouth and I

pray to the bass pro and guys, I Here's what I will say. He has noticed my servitude and easy answer your prayers. Ah, yes. I mean, it's hard

to miss a man starting a whole religion around you.

Yeah, he's He is very excited. And I want to say that I am kind of one of his disciples, and he's really taken to me. Bills this Christ again, again. You. What do you mean again? What do you mean again? Box on Cravy.

That was years ago. That increases. I'm not I'm not

susceptible to cults. You said it that I don't

think we've ever talked about this just for riel. Like, you know, we've heard some facts, but what Do you have a relationship with your father? Do you have any sort of male figure in your life?

You through what's going on? Absolutely. I have. I mean, listen, my dad did leave when I was young. He waas Ah, hey, maybe I am

searching for some type of, you know, father figure slash, Uh

God, what could be this?

I I just wanted I think you could You were doing so well on your own here. A best pro looking inward, they don't. They promoted you to the best amateur. And yeah, I could become the best pro.

enough, I think being an underwater fish wrestlers is better than just worshipping at the feet of a guy. Yeah, the bass pro does not agree. Well, Bill, I think

Weirdly

you're you're projecting on the bass Pro because in reality, the man that you are are looking towards is simply the store manager. Yeah, he is a store manager who is standing in what, What what would be called like a crow's nest or something like that overlooking the whole store? Crow's nest, A prose nest. It's the press nest, and you are sort of deifying this man when

just a man with

This is

responsibility. Gel sc That's not what is you jealous? That's not what it is. Oh, my God. Somebody Jealousy dont not look good on you, my

brand. So this whole season, this whole season since you've been at bass Pro we've been talking about fishing will be about man. It's an obvious upward

trajectory that hasn't been new. Every week it's been

I was trying to work there. I got treated like bait. Then I was a department manager. Now I worship the Basque bro. I mean, does

this guy even talk

to you or is it just like a regular fishing trip? You know where he's doing his thing? He's catching all the fish. You're we look, we do see each

other and, like glance at each other out on the boat and

again give each other. How about it?

Yeah, I give each other. How about it? Occasionally, he'll pass me a buy in a sausage of hyenas, VFW eyeing a sausage, and I will kind of go, Hey, you worship this guy. Wow. Listen, when he you don't

know that feeling when you've never been told any compliment at all and somebody passes. You wanted their vital that way. All know that feeling bill way all handle it are healthy way. It feels like your heart is going to explode. You said you've never been received any love. And then somebody gives you a nasty can to meet on a saltine cracker and your heart explodes. Can I ask

you? Because I did see you posted on the gram. I was watching your stories on Instagram.

Oh, yeah, I've been getting pretty serious about my

story. Yeah, they beginning,

I do all I do a lot of questions and answers.

You dio what's on You always turn with what's up? YouTube. But, um, I saw you got a pretty big fish. What did the bass pro se when you showed in the big fish? You cut Well, 10 pounder. Look.

Yeah, as soon as I got

it on the line and the poll started to bend, he took off, took off. He said he got sick. Um, and nobody would. He left with the camera. Oh,

go away. You saw it

Was you posted a picture later?

Yeah, because I left. He

wasn't even there for your big cat. No, no, but difficult. But wasn't that all you wanted was him to see you catch a big fish?

No.

Oh, God.

Oh, Bill, it's not you guys. Excuse me. Could I help you find something? We're not of the store, Bill. Oh. Oh, you're looking for shock. Good chills.

Bill. Don't go to the guns.

Oh,

Bill, you can't Project UK

would need a gun with that.

Familiar? In a room with 23 friends.

We are signs are not like fries at McDonald's. You don't just add it to your

order like this,

Bill. We already did a role play in here. We're not going to do another one with you

right now. We got two for one deal. A off fifties. Oh,

Bill, as I

come here, I want to give you a hug. Okay. Uh

oh. Oh,

it's OK. It's OK. Let it, Uh

oh, cover me. Get up.

May okays. Back. Get out

of here. Listen, Bill, I think you need Teoh. Reexamine your relationship with the the male figures in your life. Um, which I have

done body.

I'm not jealous. In fact, I think I am. Hell, I'm finally healthfully dealing with the male relationship in my life. Really? As you guys know, I sort of joined Ah, Socialist mall walking crew when I got kicked out of the arcade by the proud boys. Ah, and I've been talking to them about my relationship with my health. Stepdaddy on. They've been helping me work through it, uh, talking

to these old strangers about your relationship with your step Dad.

Yeah, I have. And they've helped there. Said you gotta have more checks and balances. Yes. They've said they've said, express yourself more socialist. They said, express yourself more. Ah, make sure everyone is on a level playing field in these discussions. Make sure everyone has all the information that they need to make these choices. Uh, and I've been doing that when I ask you a question. Yes, I did see your health, stepdaddy down on his knee. Ah, at the outlook at the end of the mall. And I don't I'm not sure what happened there, but there was a big hug after

isn't sort of a shady figure.

Here's the There was a big hug.

I know what you're implicated in the boy. I know the implication. Here you are implying that I accepted a proposal from my

house. I couldn't hear anything.

All I saw was ahead moving up and down really big and crying

while you guys look at my hands. Look at my hands. Do you see any Anything that would indicate that I have accepted a proposal? Well,

I hear what I would say. It is too much salt. Ah, here's what

I will say, Um I feel like your fingers or big. And maybe because there was a moment after where those shadows were like, it seemed like it was like, Oh, don't worry. The ring doesn't fit. I'll get another size. That's just what the body language was telling me. Well,

hands look like a big buy in a sausage. Yeah, buying eyes.

Uh, well, guys, I

What kind of boundaries? I

am waiting for the right moment to to back away.

Did you hear your own voice when you said it? I was disappointed in yourself. I

am okay and like to go back to I know you guys have no interest in dissecting my sort of daddy issues, but I do think that I am in search of someone to sort of be a beacon at the end of the tunnel. You guys know my daddy was so focused on his jeans company that he didn't spend any time with me. That's right. Levi's.

Yes. Levi's Gene. You know what he did? You know what he would do? Cut 3 to 3. You know

what, my You know what? My dad, my real dad, used to do what he used Teoh, take his clothes and make a little model of himself. Sit it down in his recliner, put a lit cigarette in its mouth and leave full size. Yeah. So any put a little tape recorder inside it. They just said, uh, sounds good. Uh,

so you're being parented by a stack of genes in the shape of your dad?

Yeah, I would. I would sit there and I talked to my jeans. Daddy and

I would just be

a cut. Is that huh? What cut is that?

This would have been the seventies.

Yeah, it was. It was Levi's. Ah, 50 50. Too old. Uh oh, yeah. 52 old

Levi's 52 old J

a replacement for your daddy. Stack up 52 old. Take him to the piano risk eyes.

They're not sponsoring us. Okay, I

know Hymns is and well,

and this week response real quick. Let's bring this copy responsive by hours, ways. Eso for the people that brought you hims and hers. It's ours. O u R Z

take a pill that does nothing and take hours. You tired

of not knowing if you're taking a placebo where the really big well, with ours, you know it's not really

it's nothing. It's a gel cap lit with nothing inside.

Do you want to be ableto pop a pill after you've treated someone terribly and blame your medication? Even though it's just who you really are?

I know I do. Hours.

Do you not want to stop your bad habit but are tired of the drastic effects of pills? Take our love. Taken a pill with no water like they do in the movies. While you're stress to show a character development or not development but defect defrag flaw. How are you looking at a clock and you're wondering what are all these things around the edges? What are all these dots hours looking for

a movie starring Nicole Kidman hours anyway, back to your

we got to tell them to cut down the copy those air too long today. That wasn't even the

so. They don't delete the mistakes. They just type out all the mistakes.

Yeah, we should. We tell him that some of them aren't as good as

I. I read what's written. I read what's written, but anyway,

So the truth of the matter is, yes. I have accepted a proposal for my health. Stepdaddy. No, it's not a congratulations to wear. Not going to get married. I'm going to find a way between now and then Teoh to, you know, cut it off and I am. You

every good actor does.

gonna cut off your finger? Gotta fearing you have to cut the ring off. So the

ring's not

even on you. Just don't put the ring.

I'm not going, Teoh. I'm not gonna cut off my finger. I'm going to end this. I'm gonna annul the relationship in whatever way I can. Ah, and I'm going to try to get back into the ah, into the arcade because honestly, I saw who I think was the devil Standing outside the arcade the other day, dressed up as, ah, teenager

doubles in the

mall. That ever was in the mall and he was banging on the arcade doors like, Is this place open? I mean, a good arcade would be that right now, not stand good for, you know, eso I am a little bit scared that I'm never gonna be able to get in there. Um, but, you know, I'm working with the mall. Walkers have been helping me. Ah, figure out a strategy to get back in there as well. Ah, but honestly, I'm I am starting to get nervous.

Well, the good news is sorry. Go ahead. You go ahead. Are you going to say that if the big moment and the Christmas party of the Christmas event the holiday special behold a spectacular, uh, go off without a hitch, I think we'll be able to get out of hell. Yeah. What?

The devil wasn't best part of the other day and he saw me. He was ah, I could

tell it was him. He was just kind of looking through some hooks and stuff and he

saw you going around. If you want to play guitar better, I got a deal for you.

Yes. Yea, he's He's very obvious. Um, and He was like, I'm headed down to Georgia. I'm headed down to Georgia. Uh, and, uh, he saw me sell a bunch of handguns. Two teenagers with weird records. Yeah, he's like anybody going doing about that likes you. That's great.

Yeah. You saw those kids in trench coats and you were like a really good

Yeah, I lured him over. Um, seldom a bunch of guys. I

hope he's around for the event. I really do. Because you know what?

We haven't happened.

I decided to even dates Toe happen, Todd. That's the truth.

I connected with tall Padre. Um, and for all intents and purposes, I think he is my son. Excuse. Wow. What we went through, somebody means for

all intents and purposes

Well, I adopted him.

Did he Cut? Explains the same last name this

whole time. Same. A similar first name. Hand mama's woman. I dated.

So did you just forget?

Well, you know, I have Let's just say a bit of a Johnny Appleseed when it comes. Teoh Familiar? Uh oh. He went around and planted seeds everywhere were apple trees. See if I'm like that, but with no, I'm sorry. The analogy is not working. Um,

well, you were like

a pot on your head. No,

the analogy is very much not working here. I don't do wear Podd on my head, but I noticed that's just for my carrot top. Like pothead humor. Uh, you

got to say

that you never do the punch line.

It's employed, but, um well, I adopted him, and ah, um, I've been parenting. Tell Padre Wow. And he has been my muse for questions for Daddy because he has been asking me all these questions, stealing them for my play. I'm saying, Oh, I would have liked Ask my

dad those questions. You shifted the focus of questions for Daddy away from the audience. And

the plan always was that The first half is me asking questions of my dad, and the second half is the audience

s. You haven't gotten rid of the part that part? No, they're still gonna The audience is still gonna ask you questions.

Oh, yeah. If anything, it's It's a bigger part. I've gotten even more makeup. I'm willing to go there. Still, I'm willing to do voices. I'm going to do accents. I'm going to go big. Um, so you and I've really felt good about the questions portion that I'm writing. I think that there won't be a dry eye in the house. Oh, God. Well,

physic. We're all getting pretty close to our thing. You know, you had to move back

the spectacular a little bit, but it feels like things are on the way. And I am hot on the trail of this tall mall robber. We

got some

security, you know. He's tall.

We got some security Flippy, and we only got the back of his

head just like my dad. And this guy's tall. Yeah, this guy's

Todd slippery and he's thin and he's slipping right in and out. We actually

were in the same store for 10 segregating me.

Really that close? What happens

really close. Well, it was a Charlotte roofs and I was in there chasing the mall robber. I was hot on his tail. You want shopping? No, I'm not at first

on then that that's what happened. I saw a beautiful blouse, right? And it was, I don't know, five, maybe 10 minutes in the changing room. And and I and he was gone when I

call. You thought you away for you?

Yes, but I did get video. And I do

know that this guy's going down. I think I've is timing down and I'm gonna catch

We've had his timing down For, what, 34 weeks

we found every morning every morning starts starts right at the front of the mall at the J Crew. Yes, but

I was one of those kids. You know how When

you're jumping rope, you have to get the timing down for a while before you go in your using your hands to show where the robes going.

Like it went during a doubling. Its

exact I've been one foot in

this double Dutch catching this kid. Yeah, because we're

so close. I remember we did a double Dutch and Guinness couldn't come faster for longest wait to get into a jumper. That's right. And know where there was a 38 hours,

38 hours and then quickest tie up quickest. Before I even got foot. Actually in the rope was around my neck like a noose fully tied up, yet I almost almost

quickest. Accident of suicide. Almost almost almost so. But it was They said it wouldn't have been a suicide, They would have blamed the murder on you guys. Uh

oh. Well, my jumper up defense and get me off the first time, so I don't know. Why would this time? Well, if you catch the robber bill, if you become a bass pro, Howard, if you figure out how to not marry your health, stepdaddy

And if you said that finger, I'll eat it.

If this event goes well and will, your finger will make some fingers. Uh, this affection you feel chicken fingers

repair wasted for feeders. I'm there. OK, And I'm gonna be that. I

think we could get out of hell.

I would hope

so. Everybody keep an eye out for the holiday Spectacular. The December 29th. We're doing a big Christmas event. December 29th

South. Everybody's gonna be dead right? When everybody is pulling down their lights

and getting ready for the new year. We remind them come with his business.

But let's take a quick break before

that. Attention mall customers. The Foot locker has changed both ownership and concept. No longer will they be selling shoes. It is now a small locker containing feet again. Foot Locker has changed What it is. Alright,

guys. Thank you, uh, for sticking with us here in the lounge. We are back after a little break. Got ourselves.

You need to think people for listening. It feels like, uh

almost think it's nice. I think it's nice to let people know that you appreciate him. You know, maybe that always thank people for listening after I do my poetry, I always do it. Yeah, I think it's nice. I think it's maybe wrong of Utah to not think people for paying attention to you. And I excuse my plagiarism usually at that. That poetry.

Yeah, well, and you're plagiarizing, like a lot of, like 19 sixties and seventies African American poets. So it's

Yeah, it's ah, a lot of people say, Yeah, that was appropriate. That was opposed.

Saying inappropriate, inappropriate appropriation, Just like every not every episode of most ever says we've got a guest in the lounge today. Ah, it's a guy we've met here at the mall. He's a really good guy. Way all get along really well on. He works at my favorite kiosk. Ah, which is the massage kiosks, the little the little fast massage kiosk, a in the middle of the mall. And that's our buddy Kevin. Kevin. Welcome to the lounge, buddy. So good man, were really good. We appreciate you coming around today.

More pleasure. You know, uh, I was also always wondering what you're doing here.

Damn. Kevin is silky smooth.

Thank you. I love it.

It fits. It fits with your whole persona. You know, You you know, you're slinking around your your your smooth you're grabbing on people's shoulders.

Your you sometimes Ah, massage outside of your kiosk. Yes, sometimes.