they won't let us keep the heat running in here. What? Yeah, they said we have to keep. We have to keep the thermostat. Ah, little bit lower, cause they're trying to save money because I guess I didn't even know the school got energy bills. I thought we just got I thought they just gave us free power and stuff.

I don't want to be at one temperature all day. I want to go hot. Cold, hot, cold.

Yeah, like ice bath on

the bachelor at? Yes. This is a hot cold. When you are the same temperature all day, you just load into nothingness. I need to be hot. I need to be cold. And Toshio here. You I mean, honestly, I wish they'd let us bring back the cattle prods.

What? How exactly did do that? Was just you doing that to, you

know, I was doing it to any of the teachers. And I said any of the other teachers can get a cattle prod and keep me awake as well.

Nobody took you up on that.

I know. And it was a mistake. I was. Pepi is hell for that

week. That's not temperature. That's you shocking yourself? Yeah, Yeah, I know. I'm talking about shocking through different ways. One of them is cattle prodding. One of them is temperature confusion.

You do a lot of cattle stuff you brought in that Australian shepherd. That was kind of hurting your on campus.

Yeah. I need you to stay on my toes. Literally. He kept me running everywhere.

Well, I will say that your cheese was break. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. That's my new venture. By the way, Sam's Dairy Sam's Dairy, for now said should

only make milk. Huh? What was

that we ate?

Well, some men do.

All right, Sam. Sam

Cheese. Some men. I hate to say

this so quick into the episode was

that come, cheese? Let's see. What do I want to say?

You know, it was it was man milk. That's literally

what some men and Children specifically call semen. Just come and milk

disgusting. Mine obviously makes cheese, whether or not you you call it seem. And I don't know,

men grow up and kids, you know better. I'm ashamed of you kids calling semen man milk. You know better your disgusting little pigs. Yeah, talking about it like that.

Adult men grow up with a girl. But these kids there's a higher standard for you

is disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.

What kind of example

are you setting for these adults? Like we could say anything around, you know? Are you innocent anymore? Are Can I just say Fuck? Yeah. Adults have earned

the respect to say man meal.

Let's right, grow up. But yes,

of course. But kids, we will not stand for it.

No more of this. You know what? Adult adult behaviors for adults. Kids, get off the Internet. Stop driving cars around. If any of you are getting married. Quit it. Quit it. Getting jobs?

No, thank you. I don't love

kids sending emails either. No, no, that's for us. That's for us. Three e mails. Cut it out, kids.

Yeah. Oh, and by the way, you got a problem with global warming. Wait till you're 18 and start talking about I'll do something about it. Is an adult man thes kids going around talking about it? Come on, grow up, you know? Well, you grow up and then do it.

Speaking to global warming. It is getting colder, uh, around campus. Uh, finally,

global warming. There's no problem. It's getting chilly around campus.

Warren, finally, it's getting colder. Yeah, that was gonna be a Segway into me saying Kick it, ladies. Welcome to another every side of the teacher's lounge. The first best issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I, of course am Howard heavy thighs. Levis. This is big booty bass guys, love. Yeah, that's the new nickname Kids having the names have been fun, but now they've turned mean

heavy thighs Was when you tried to race the cool kids, right?

Yeah. On you were too slow at moving your legs,

right? Yeah. They They took slow motion video of me with a phantom camera, which is 7000 frames, 1000 frames a second. And they posted it on the Internet.

And the soundtrack that was Phantom Planet.

Yeah. Yes, with California. Here we come and they dental. It'll be us. Yeah, They did a little V effects and put California on the left side of the frame. I'm running right to left. And the same California here we got Adam Brody sent a cease and desist. Two years? Yes, this

is I've gotten too many

cease and desist in my day, guys. But anyway

said a season hit the gym.

It was a season to squat season assisted squads. You've got a cease and assisted suicides as well you can offer for

Yeah. And I say to you, sir, whoever sent that, it's no longer suicide. If someone else is suggesting,

Well, we know who

way. Barkey in, Junior. Listen, if you thought

he was going to get into any business other than the family business, you were insane. The most famous you thinnest, is they gotta have a youth in a simple

way. All know, Kervorkian Jr went to college for communications. I was like, Okay, he's not committing to a major yet. We know what he wants to dio go ahead. Following any went he d went backpacked around Europe to find himself. But then you move right back home and background right in the family's

sucking on the teat. Daddy's little, uh, fentanyl teeth.

Yeah, honestly, it's crazy how much he looks like his father

like already or

winning this son. Yeah, they're looking identical. The same energy weird little band. They drive people out into the woods in

It's like Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump look like Trump's drawings of what he wished she looked like.

Isn't it

funny how the apple never falls far from the tree? Looking your parents and just go? I got no choice, Tiu. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. My dad is weird. I have to be weird as well.

Well, speaking of weird Dad's Todd Padre, theater director of the star of the school play and, um, uh, yeah, that's all.

And speaking of great dad, Sam weatherman. No Kurds currently. But I did have seven little boy cowboys back in the day. Also a driver's ed teacher and student government leader.

Hi, Bill. Crave E a coach of the basketball team. You like their dad. I am like their dad. I'm their weird coach dad

on. You do have

some pretty inappropriate relationships with some of those kids, so it

really is father

like it's very similar. I'll spank a kid on the court, absolutely spank

a kid. I'll ground, um, if their ball handling isn't good enough.

You said you said the power forward to bed without supper.

Yes, I did. Yes.

When you're really ride, these kids actually at practice. I've seen you up on sort of your haunches on their back with a little whip riding him like a jockey. I yes, which is a parent thing.

It's I ride these kids like horses and I get him going around the track and

some of the teachers

are, You know,

teachers will say, Well, you're riding around the track. They should be on the basketball court, right? And you say, Well, training school and old habits die hard strand training.

Obviously, we should at least take a second to acknowledge that. There was some somber divides in the track and a couple kids rode their ankles, so we obviously had to do what had to be done

with them. And that's just let everyone know how serious we are about this. This is something we're kind of being serious about. We had to send these kids to the glue factory. That's right. Way would

descend Omer to the glue factory.

That's right. We had to send stacks to the defective stick breasts. Elmer Everybody crazy Rover isn't crazy. Gorilla. That's right. Alright, P gorilla central control. But it's sad week,

but But on a brighter note, Yes,

we have winter formal around the corner. And what's again your friends of the teacher's lounge have, Let's just say done a bit of a coup of the winter Formal planning Committee, and it's on us this year. You don't have to worry. Give me a big up way are going to the dance. We are bringing dates and we're planning it. No more students during their bad ideas were doing it this year with the quote unquote help. Uh um Let's see. We have Ashley. Um, Lieberman, Um hi, Ashley out there.

Say hello to your father as well.

Yeah. Say hi to Joe for us.

Way little PD Dole

paid. Oh, yeah, a lot of Ah, a lot of failures. Kids. Um I

mean, it's obvious these kids are patting. These parents are passing down their failure. They couldn't become president of the United States, or these kids are trying again with president of the winter formal

kind. Of course, like her dad actually ever been first said, Oh, I want to be on student council. I don't want to play in the winter formal. And then she flip flopped in ashes played on the winter formal because they would let her on student council.

Well, and I got in a big fire there cause I was like, Give me that pen, Give me that pen that you hold in your hand And she wouldn't know I don't know why she holds on to the pen, but she's got a death grip on that thing

I hold I think it's under of Vietnam

but I think that

way had taken your suggestions. For what? You would like to see it when our formal changes from last year theme stuff what to drink, what to eat

Things you love about what we chose already.

Yeah. Things you love about what we chose already. That's a big one. If you can really underlined what you like about ideas, Obviously I'm taking over thematics of the formal.

And why don't we announce

with the theme is here today

Global warming

theme for winter formal, which is glowing orb does not exits. And

let's be honest, we did take that suggestion from one of the people who was on the committee.

That was one good Just

Samantha Gore. Yes, you are very boring. But we took it.

What a great presentation she got up on that little lift When she showed everything, it was pretty persuasive. Yes,

and I'm actually I was passionately I'm convinced. And I am. So I'm on the side of global warming is scary. And so this is gonna be you're not gonna have fun here. Uh, we're not having fun anymore, all right? It's gonna be hot for

just so everybody knows water will be

rising around the entire night. A little had, artificially,

it will

be a found. It'll start to

make your way further, further inland. Okay,

um, we'll be switching out the polar bears every hour. They'll be getting thinner and thinner. So,

of course, of course, will be the final dance or what we're calling the Dust Bowl doesn't. And in that final dance, we're going to bring in £2000 of dust and turn on all the fans, and all of us who are in charge will refuse

to acknowledge its happen.

And we will be, of course,

in the bunker in the big bunker. And we'll be carrying money will be having lots of Children. Uh, what else we're gonna be doing, um,

buying a bunch of land in Australia. But the big news here that was we discussed is dress code shorts and tanks own way.

This is big. You guys. This is really big. We want your skimpiest shorts and tanks on Lee for heat or heat.

Because we are MP is not

a term Onley about view.

No, no heat, for he does. Yes, for

us. And what were you? Okay, Well, he's obviously on to the

next day. I mean, way be serving at winter formal, last formals dinner

we're having for you to the heat

is in. Corn isn't going to do things. Of course, that were on the outfield slops. Now corner for the slobs,

obviously for heaters are the the cuisine manifestation of global warning. There there a global warning. Their global warning

warning a global warning. Every 15 minutes in the dance, a siren will go off. That's right. And you will have to find shelter. If you haven't found shelter, 10% of the people who have not found shelter will be killed.

That's right. Metaphorically, you'll be sort of put into the sort of the sauna. Uh, t like how, uh, for people Because we're simulating Hill. Because if you didn't do enough to change the global climate crisis and fix it. You deserve to burn in hell,

Straw. Today you're going to hell tomorrow way. All looking straw shaming. We will be doing straw shaming. And what will everyone get out the door on the way in?

A strong Yeah, that's right. Will be doing straw

shaming. Everybody's got to be drinking all their drinks. They're punched their water. Whatever you get through a thin piece of papyrus that will be handing you and it's got a last tonight. And if you complain, you're out. Okay,

You're dead. You're also dead. Yeah. Here, you get quarantined in the hell room. Uh

oh. I have already

pre paid the deejay to play another one bites the dust when I walk in. Because, of course, the night before is the big region championship game, which we will have one. Of course.

Now, Bill, we gotta push pretty hard, for we are the champions because they usually play another one. Bites the dust when a team loses. Uh, it's about something ending.

No, it's it. We're talking about them. You want t to Another one might not enter

to We are the champion now you wanna enter to wee bit the day,

play whatever you want after this, But I have. When I walked through that door, there better be spotted coming out of the well, me and the

team. We're going to stay in

the hallway. We're gonna feel the hallway with fog doors open. Fog rolls out, another one bites the dust.

And that was right into the dust bowl.

Unrelated. I'll become out to fat bottom girls.

Yes, We all have an entry sung since we will all, of course, be chaperoning in our skimpiest takes

aim your coming out time in love with my car.

Yes, Absolutely. Absolutely. I think you know what that's going. It's your screen. Yeah,

well, the best some people would say. That's why everybody knew it right when you said it.

And I, of course, I am coming out to Bohemian Rhapsody, their most famous and

were boiled queen.

Yeah, well, everybody's doing queen and

see a big silhouette to of a

way. Have you lit specifically Hard for what you want Todo i silhouette. Is that a man? Just please don't put

a light and a low angle to make my thighs look bigger than they already are. Uh,

has anyone ever called you thunder size or fat? Five

thes kids air basically calling me fat

guys. Anyone ever called you like a ugly man? Of course. I mean,

what about thin and thin and fat? Because, you know, you're sort of

thin, but you look fat, though

I do carry my weight in my legs. It's really strange. And I have a sort of, ah, you know, narrow torso and then just big, plump, the thighs thick, as they say

thick with Lucy's. Yeah, well, the

dance is going to

be really fun this year, but a big thing that we are getting a little bit of pushback is on safety. Now we think that there should be really, really high safety

precaution. Were some of the kids crazy for

saying We want there to be safety provided

to be saying he's going

to be a dangerous Dan? Yes, because the thing that we've chosen So I'm saying, Bring in the metal detectors, bring in the guys with the air 15 bring in the drug sniffing dogs and everybody bring a chaperone every 1 to 1

121 chaperone ratio.

Well, I want to. One

couple every couple total needs one chapter understanding between you. The hold.

If you come stag, you could bring a person.

Yeah, if you come stag, he can bring a dollars a chaperone If you If you come with a date, you need to bring a human

adult chaperone. That's good. That's a great idea, doll. Chaperones will, we will. We will be

chamber doll shops. That's

right, eso if you bring it. And if you bring a doll shop around, you got to run it by me because there's there a lot of excess of mine. So I just want to make sure that nothing awkward happens and that we're on good terms.

And also you want to make sure that they could each be used as a ventriloquist dummy. It's the right kind of doll for your halftime performance,

so I'm glad we got that talks, but you took security. Halftime performance is gonna be pretty exciting.

Have to have it

the formal have time with the formal lights up. Uh, what do you mean,

all lights up? It's dark in the dance. Everybody's getting, you know, close to each other and close

so we've just played. We've just played the big hit. That's popular right now. Um, probably Zenda or something like that Way

played you for you and your

four years at it. Playing on SBS soundtrack is euphoria, but not the for his contract. His show's audio

pretty dark, right audio before is playing. Everybody's just about to kiss slow dance music out, whites up You already for this Dad adducts and then a Ziff. I'm introducing the 1995 Chicago Bulls. I introduced everything you're gonna lose from global warming. I'm playing all the characters, obviously, but so it's the whole thing

involved in that time.

Green grass,

green grass.

So they're your personifying all the things they're losing and

global warming Iceberg Street. Your parents, uh,

personal relationships due to struggle in the neighborhood.

But but I put up on a cash your belongings, but up

home due to the diaspora of people moving continents.

That's right. So a lot of quick changes, obviously, and I'm gonna be getting deep in the character. But the whole theater apartment's gonna be involved, and the students are really excited to learn all the costuming, for it would be really cool

Oh, you're having the students do costuming. Yeah,

they're doing all my costumes for me. There's a big wardrobe change because I'm obviously doing I'm coming out of strike era. And J lo, uh,

you're aping the actual Super Bowl halftime show a little bit.

Yeah, we'll see who does it best. We'll see you.

Have you seen their routine

yet?

It doesn't. I doubt they even

just say that might have a new choreographer.

Oh, and you're doing the and it's you and you're doing the single ladies thing. Bigwig big wing from Todd. 77 year old man looking 100 is going to dress up in a black leotard and do Beyonce. And

that's right. So keeping out this will happen at the Super Bowl is real. J lo and, um, real secure will be doing the single ladies dance.

And Todd, why are we doing this?

Because they're gonna lose this in global warming.

They're gonna lose it all.

You lose, Beyonce. Yeah, You're gonna lose J. Lo.

Oh, Are you listening now? Millennials? Yeah. You lose Beyonce J. Lo and maybe your cell phone.

Yeah. What? Tzu will be gone

three back. Season two's gone

How do you feel

about losing a 50 year old in 2 45 year olds,

Huh? Is that connecting with you kids?

Now? A lot of parents have been sending in letters and stuff because people have got wind of winter form hate mail. We've been getting hate mail because we published this plan in the local newspaper because we didn't want we wanted people to prepare. Obviously, there's so many sort of prerequisites for them showing up that we wanted to make sure that the skimpy outfit rule got out there. We want to make people make sure people knew what was going on. Turns out we've been getting a lot of hate mail from parents saying Winter Formal is about a celebration of the winter. It's about giving the kids a good time where they can cut loose. And they say that we're making it heavier than it needs to

be. We all know that winter formals are supposed to be about celebrating winter. Of course, we all know most were for you build a

snowman, for example,

to dress up as formal education and you celebrate winter

you Carol winter songs. That's

right and you of course have hot

cocoa. Uh, of course. You bubble up.

You put two hands in that big round thing cylinder, that big, furry round cylinder. That's right. You know what I mean?

And you see in warmer, Yeah, the roast chestnuts on the

fire. You watch your favorite movies, your love, your love way before gather the family close

and everybody, you know you're supposed to act, of course. Nordic. Yes, on and celebrate the winter months and on course, of course, the sun being down for a year in winter. The sun is down for six months remaining, saying goodbye to the sun, and

it's a good bye to the sun pissed

that we're not doing all these classic things that they are

going back. The opposite were saying hello to the sun, and it's Kelly forever.

And speaking of opposites, look, it's not. It's not on the memo we sent out, but South Pole san has confirmed.

Yeah, that's right. South Pole Santa will be there.

So everybody bring a gift that you intend on being stolen from you. He will be leading in his reindeer.

He'll be at the front. We'll be gathering them behind him.

Rudolph of course. Right in the back and making sure that everybody is staying in line with his green knows. Yes, that's right. Opposite bread. Absolutely. What else would

it be?

Um, on, uh,

of course, for security reasons, I will be carrying a live grenade, the whole dance, because that's what this global warming is. Guys, if we don't step in and get our fucking shit together, this grenade can go off Any time my hand gets sweaty. Yes, I could drop this grenade in the middle of the floor and it could blow the whole dust bowl high head.

And everyone will be on edge because of Sam's grenade.

Ready to go off at any time. The pin will be pulled. Yes. It's just everything

needs to feel a little more immediate for everyone to start taking action. All right, I said I thought the grenade was a great pitch. Sam, you had it on you in the pitch meeting

with you right now. It's kind of

like a varsity football player who like fumbles in a game when the coach will be like, you got to carry the football around all day long. If you drop it, you got

to run and do

that. It's gonna take me with you. Because obviously, you did drop the cremated waiting in line at the Starbucks

Starbucks. I never saw Starbucks there. I never saw Starbucks on that corner. I don't even know what you're talking about. That's a place that spending construction for six years. This'd

an interesting defense. I like you want. It's a different timeline events.

Yeah. I don't remember ever

being in a Starbucks. That was a place to spend in a construction for a

long time, maybe six years. And I was I was there, extractions

at the construction site, saying, Here's where you need to blow the whole I haven't been in here, but, you know, you guys have equipment. I just want to use it. That's all that happened.

They took your suggestion, and Blue hole, the

police came to check and make sure.

Yeah, sure. Okay,

Good. This place is still being built. Okay, good.

I mean, the are was, say, the ineptitude of the police and Hamilton has kept us at a prison for a long.

We've gotten a lot of feedback from them about the dances. Well, that's right. The police are not that excited about the security thing. All the extra people that are going to be at the campus

because there's there's account and there's a counter protest going on outside that's already been organized. And permits have been pulled, their sort of climate reverse. Climate activists are gonna be pro testing our winter formal.

Yeah, there's gonna be people that are bundled up in parkas saying, What are you talking about? It's freezing out,

and I'll say, Good luck to you. Look to your gonna sweat your little ass is Are

you not coming? There's been talk of, um, the formal being Azaz spillover space for the county jail. They want to keep inmates there because they said that sounds tough in there. That sounds like a really tough little. But

they said don't worry. Just our worst offenders. So they'll be inmates in there. Hopefully,

uh, I'm obviously doing the halftime show and all the other stuff I'm doing Sam eyes on has got security going. Um, what did you guys decide to take over? Committee wise,

I'm of course, gonna be in charge of organizing. Ah, the the, uh, king and Queen Prince and Princess competition for the winter formal. And it's a competition. Yes. Yeah, we're doing it. We're switching it up this year. It's not gonna be a sort of fan boat. You must be a active student. Chaperones will not be hairstyles. Hairstyles don't make a difference. You can be bald as long as your student. But it's gonna be Oh, yeah, both

getting me. So it could be any student a student of any kind.

Ah, you're saying this You are saying this, But this isn't it wasn't my intention. Originally, we've actually ready picked the contestants. Okay, Uh, and it's gonna be sort of like if you have seen an episode of that show that ABC fun game show wipe out. Yeah, it's kind of gonna be it's gonna be more like that than it is gonna be a sort of popularity contest because we thought, let's eliminate the whole popularity contest thing. It's not about being popular. That's a thing I've learned. It's not about being private. School is about being popular. It's about being skilled, intelligent, uh, and fast school is definitely being passed. Eso we're making it a feat. A sort of test of ah of physical will versus coolness. Or I think that's a

day. Are you gonna let us do quips and announce it? Yeah, because first of all, it's a no for me dog. You know what I mean? Regardless of what these kids do, it's a no

for the way we will live commenting. Bill, I'd like to see Bill commentating because obviously, Bill, you did wipe out and ended up on the blooper reel of worst hair reveals, uh,

you run to

shows that day you are now and then you on the show that wears much later night worst hair.

And this was from taking her helmet island wipe out. It was a really Yeah,

it wasn't even a wiping. Yes.

Now it was the end.

Well, I thought I thought I was going to

be on the respectful show. Hair falls off it the darndest

time. That's respectful on I don't know if your hair fell off as much as it just Travolta is hosting. Hair falls off of the darndest times on and he's course have gone recently. Sands rug and left us. That was a rug. Yes. Oh,

wait! This so that Teoh propagate The people react like

that so later I I fuckin ended up on the track. The mad TV of hair fall off shows so mad I thought I was Congratulations, dude. No, no, it was humiliating. I thought it's gonna be me Intra volt. And he showed the clip,

But no, I ended up on worst hair. A video he introduced you. Did he Did he say anything?

Thing is

everybody by name on the

show talking about how we could lead talent E o t Saving a did well. I went to the rehearsal before I was

violently ripped off the show and maybe go toe. I was rushed over the worse hair reveals, Um, but

he said the wicket

leap talented and he said, Is your name is Bill Kraybill? Crave E. And he said, Adele Disease

hit a Dell disease. How he must have a broken brainer, something that's

blocked in there like a fun, easy man.

I think there's a funding for control. That's what I think. There's a bunion in that man because it is fun, but it's a little bit, but I'll me worse, hair reveals, ended up

being pretty fun, you know, it was kind of where were you on the countdown. It was the worst way. On the other hand, reveals

were just sort of like, Oh, no, like a

bad haircut at the booth one where Richard Branson took his motorcycle helmet off and it was just kind of flying a little funny.

Now I know a little bit how Hollywood works, but not as much. The game show circuit Did you shoot on the same day? Do you have more hair than 1/5 grader? Or was this different? No

way. We shot the same day as that.

Ok, well, you pound them aloud. What

did you also do that day? Do you want to be a 1,000,000 hairs? I

want to be a millionaire's. Yes. Do you? Yeah. I wanted to be. And let's just say

and he wants to be a millionaire.

Yes, you do. On jeopardy.

I mean, this is so funny. Once you get in that cycle, that Hollywood cycle, they just will you right

through. Well, let's just say Ah, I was no Ken Jennings. Wow.

You Well, you didn't do well.

No. Wow. No, I ah, let's see. I, um for the

answer to the question was and I said, Who's the star frozen? Oh, and I just

got I just saying to revolt. I wonder what the question would have been to make

eye right Answer. Yeah, is what is wrong with drawn Trolled

the answer. Of course, it was a devotee. And that should be Who is funding and brain

way? Don't need to talk about it. But you are also on Hollywood Squares ahead. Hollywood's

with Yes. Um, and Vilanch. Ah, Vilanch. Um was voted

Ah, best hair. That's there was right. Lewites prayers waiver. Best I got human frog. You would think that would be a wonder ones Human frog on you would get best hair that time. Eyes such a way. I'm human fraud studies. You want to know what some of the other awards are? No way to directly mean it just sits there. You would think there

would be some sort of protective clothing. But Lewis justice there gives

you your E. And then I got voted. Job of the center square eyes is

a bit of mixed up here.

Well, I'm glad you got the game shows out of your system. Um and yeah, you know, God's again. We're really excited for winter formal. I

feel like it's getting pretty well set. So we'll we'll check in

over the next week or two as it's built up and get, We'll

get it all out

for everybody's saying, You know, all this type of global warming, you know, charity that you could work for or some way to change this. We're doing the formal. Okay, that's we're doing the thing. We're shaming.

You have Google,

you Google do figure it out.

Yeah, it All right, We're gonna take a quick break when we get back. We're gonna have a guest in the lounge. Stay around. Alright, guys. Thank you so much for sticking it out through the break today. Uh, we got a great guests on the show. What? Is it wrong of me to thank our audience for sticking it out through a break?

Don't assume the negative. I just You know, I'm not gonna wish you so much for coming were such fun. Maybe to manage

Well, hey, you never know.

So just come forward and fuck you guys.

If you hit the 15 the little 15 2nd jump, but in a couple times, whatever, it doesn't matter. We got a guest on the show today. We're really excited. He's a good friend of ours. We spend a lot of time with him. He's your art teacher. Mr Lin.

Hey, thanks for having me, guys. Excited to be here.

Course, man. It's been a long time coming. Getting in here.

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, the life of an art teacher. I got projects to grade. I got sculptures to look at. All that jazz plus three hours across fit every afternoon. We've been trying to have you in a ton, but your schedule just won't allow for. My schedule is chock full in the morning. I'm doing sauna and ice baths back to back, alternating hot and cold Hotbox icebox, you know, And then at night, I'm doing CrossFit for three hours during the day I'm teaching, and then after crossfit, I'm great And papers. All my art paper is

a little interesting. I mean, I I don't

know what an art teacher would look like, but

you're definitely, like, pretty yoke for an artist. Yeah, You always carry around a big jug of water with the I got a gallon water jug with me. Wherever I go. One gallon of water jug. And I got a gallon of grass fed whole milk as well. I'm on a diet called go Mad Gallon of milk a day trying to put on some extra weight.

Yeah. No, not a lot of art.

Teachers have to full sleeve tattoos depicting two different Spartan wars. But some

of us do you know both.

I noticed that both. Like how digital has hidden Mickeys. You got hidden, Girard. Butler's in both those.

I got Gerard Butler and both I got I got his 300 character over here. And then over here, I got Mike Bannon, whose is a character from the fall Too far

is interesting in the Angel has fallen when he is kicking someone into a whole Also from that

Oh, yeah, yeah, I love that. That's my favorite part of the

moon because that reminds me Now, I don't

know if I ever talked to you guys about this, but I was I did a little time overseas. Yeah, prison. But I'm also I I also have, you know, multiple tours of combat throughout. Ah, lot of things. I can't talk about a lot of things. I can.

You know

this is

normally a thing. A lot of kids will spread a rumor about a teacher, and you don't know if it's true. You are pretty upfront about everything. The students say.

I got one and based rain on the top of my dick. Is that the one you're talking about? That rumor? Big ole, Vain at the top, my dick.

That wasn't the one I was thinking about thinking about. All the stories we've heard about your time

can't even exist with you because you are so quick

to validate. Yes, well, hey, I'm an open book and its Chapter one and Chapter one is scary.

Are open books. Stuff is all your kind of tough stuff. I would say, You know, there's not a lot open book about what happened with your divorce or why you're not speaking anymore.

Oh, yeah, Well, those air tied pretty tightly together, caught my son fucking my wife, he said. He learned it from the front page of Porn Hub, and I

said those were actors.

And he goes, What

says Riel, Mom and really fun. And it seems that front pages front page important. Yeah, because it's like, why is that so easily accessible. You're not searching incest. So it's the first thing when you open up foreign

up page. Okay? Trust me. Unless that's, of course, the algorithm for the computer in mind. In which case I spill the tea. Ah, a lot of tentacle stuff showing up right up top. Oh, yeah. For you. Yeah, that's why

he just comparing that. It only took us three minutes and 45 seconds to get to porn, huh? The's students, listen to this.

Well, we try to make this a place where if the students here it great, but this is where we can unwind.

That's good news there, Nsfw tag on it. You know, the kids know if they're getting into it, then they're going to hear some things that they can't un here.

Yeah. Has that affected your relationship with students? Of course. As long as I've been a teacher here, I have not listened to one minute of

it, I think because it's not

because anything in particular other than why would

why would you waste some of your own time

on anyone else right now, in the same way, I haven't listened to any podcast of any of my friends,

e I don't want

to know way what's going on with them? No

friends, no friends. Eat a comfortable distance. Yeah, I want to

know is what's going on with Mindy Kaling and I Baranov and

they don't have a podcast. Come on, Mandy and I let me know what's happening Already blocked

me on the social media.

Yeah, you were following them. I guess you could say pretty aggressively.

Oh, yeah, I was I was just kind heart. I emoji marry me, baby in both of their every one of their books, including the ones that voted with their families.

Wow. You were You were forcefully removed from the blockers, Premier, right?

Yeah, that's right. I German soup. Lex John, CNN on the red carpet. And people were pissed

and you, like,

repelled in from above and sort of like to the whole military. Oh, yeah, it was. We went full operation dark light, if you will. And

you

say we because there were many people involved.

Yeah, I got some

mercenary friends that are doing some contract works in black water level kind of guys. You know, we all ex del tax Green Beret except

Devi Boys, because you were all dishonorably discharged. Right

thigh. DD name comes from two different things just like our love. A big old titties. And also most of us were dishonorably discharged.

Used to call that this on just

like big titties. Yes, some of us,

just like big titties. But also we were dishonorably discharged from the military. Correct. But also a dishonorable discharge is what you call when you accidentally come in. Your friend.

If you come on your friend,

it's friendly fire. But if you come in your friend, that's dishonorable discharge. Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't tell that

it seems like you told no one asked.

Don't ask I'll to let me switch it up. But you told you open book chapter to your common in your friends. It's too

early for that open book Fair Russia. If you're writing a book, I'm saying, like, if you're actually putting up your memoirs Uh, that might not be the second chapter. You kind of want to let your audience know a little more about you.

Want to bail to come in in a friend

and you know about your place? Yes. Is it a good action at your place happens right near the very

right. At the very end, Yes. Slow build. I do the theater, the pleader place. And it's all snow building. Yeah, and then a lot of excitement, right at

the thanks for Explained that you did. Because when he said the place, I assumed you were the high school football coach.

No. Yeah. I don't dio slow build plays on the football field.

Yeah, I don't think anyone should be doing Bill quadruple flea flicker, but it's really confused. But your

art classes, it not only do not look like in our teacher, you do smell like, truly That's one thing you have in common.

Yeah, that's just my body oil. I got aware. Yeah, because I got, you know, third degree Ken Burns on most of my body. Yeah. I mean, you do kind of look like an abstract painting a lot about the burn. People will say that between the tattoos and the and the burns, people are like, What texture are you? I'm like, God forbid. I don't know, sweetheart. Yeah,

you do sort of look mixed media.

Oh, that's

me. Yeah. Oh, I'm a little bit of charcoal these days and a little bit a

acrylic thes air. All our terms. What made

you get into art with, you know, I would assume maybe art therapy after what you saw it. War.

That's 100% correct. Art therapy. And what? I saw a boat before I went to war. I was in our therapy from some shit I saw in high school.

Oh, wow. Yeah, like you. Did You go to a dangerous high school?

I went to Columbine High School. That's pretty dangerous. Yeah,

it's honestly, a dangerous high school, but there

is one. It's pretty one very

dangerous time to offend that, right?

That's famously dangerous. Yeah,

but, you know, it's not like if you said like, Oh, I'm making a dangerous Mind style movie. It's at a dangerous high school Columbine. That wouldn't be exactly what I picture for, like a dangerous high

school, right? Right, Because, like Michelle Pfeiffer or Tom Berenger of the substitute whatever you know, high school based action scene we're talking about here. Be weird to be mostly non eventful at Columbine, especially if you're not there in April 20th 1998 20. All right, you were No. I was now a known enough. I want, like, three years after it happened. Okay? But I I was I was in charge of training the students and teachers in some, and I got really into it. And then that's what made me join the military. Okay, I showed aptitude for remorse, Lis killing early on in my training. So once they saw that in me, they shall be right to the top. And they call that aptitude because that's what they're looking for. They're looking for mindless killers often, all right. And, uh, I had in mind, but I was willing to kill. So I'm your guy. You were just like, breaking frog's legs during, like, a boot camp. Yeah, they were like, you know, day one, a boot camp for having dissect a frog, demonstrate Halle inside organs of people. We're gonna have you just But I was just breaking them from

Give me another one from nasty, bro. That

frog broke his fucking Larry Morris. Split them wide open, eating them like a fuckin like a flat chicken wing. Split them open, stuck the meat off the bones. Rock, Rock

on. You got sick from this or no, no, You said raw. I thought

you were, like, greeting me in some language.

Teoh, you really took that in stride. You know, I was. You said raw back. I

just think it was a greeting. I didn't want to seem like I didn't know what was going

way. You kind of

a world

traveler, start time overseas. I spent a lot of time and I've been in. I've seen some combat in Iraq, Afghanistan, and and I've seen some quote unquote tourism in South America and Central America and Vietnam and Thailand. And

so these were more black. Watery operations.

Yeah, we call black ops. They were

unnecessarily approved by the government. Or even an idea of the government's is just kind of actions that were happening that needed free freelancing.

Yeah, well, we'll see. Here's

the thing. One freelance murderer. Yeah, started? Yes. I started off in the Special Forces in the United States Army. I was a Green beret, and then I showed some aptitude. Their lead up to my squad leader became a platoon leader. This that led to the other thing. I had the mind so the J stock bump me up to Delta. And once you're in Delta, you're off the grid. You're just doing what they tell you to do. You just get a letter in the mail. It's like, Hey, be here. Be square.

I don't even know what you're talking

about anymore. Yeah, me neither. That I like to keep everyone casting, but the Delta Force is an elite force made up of the best of the best from both Navy seals. And it's ah, not officially a government. Uh, division from both Navy Sales and Green Berets and Marine Force Recon and the United States Air Force Parrot Para jumpers. All the elite units cool feet of and maybe even some CIA operatives that don't even have come from military background might all end up in Delta. Coolest thing about being a Delta, you can grow your hair out and have a beard

well on. I do what I say offer that. There's a lot of

rumors because there's the movie. There's the movie Delta Force. Yeah. Chuck Norris. Yeah. There's also Delta farce. And I heard that character was based on you.

Yeah. Three character in Delta farce is based on

Larry Cable. Guy joined. Yeah, but see, it's just loosely

based on me because I was famous for being in combat in a sleeveless flannel. That was my big thing over my tactical vast. I'd wear an open sleeveless flannel and you hold the record for falling out of the most helicopters while jumping out. But they count the falling as because I jumped out of about 11 helicopters, fell out about 40 e. So I got 51 I just going jumps. I actually qualify for helicopter jump school because I felt so many times. It's hard for me when I'm in there cause I'm looking at the you know everyone else's like focused on their mission there the M 60 door gunner, the co pilot, the pilot, their explosives expert. And I'm sitting there looking at the horizon, saying, Who if I had some cerulean blue, I could just mix that with a little titanium weight and blend myself something nice. So our eyes, you know, and then boom, Next thing I know, I'm falling out.

I thought this'd most of the time. I've lucky I

phone out, landed in a body of water two times I landed in san headfirst, sticking out there? Yeah, they were able to hover down pretty low and just grabbed me by my ankle and help me out, but actually fell. You fell

out of a helicopter on accident and landed on an isil. Leader killed him.

Yes. Yes, that was huge for me. I got I got the medal honor for killing an isil leader and the mistake of honor as well. Yes, yes, I got the Medal of honor I've got. And I got the call of duty. Modern warfare, and thank God I did that the day before, I fell out of a chopper and I landed in a stroller and they were twins in there, and they're both toast. I was in hot water, but the next day I became war hero. Argue that there shouldn't have been two babies in that stroller. I said, with twins, you either kill one or separate them and use it to some wildly lifelong biology experience. You've got off on that. You got on that war crimes That was Yeah. I was like those vulnerable districts. That was an honorable discharge.

I had a full full salute

to a flag as I've ejaculated on that stroller with two dead baby twins in

it. Wow. Identical. Wow. They were both

just pools of red at that

point. And now you teach at Hamilton High. Just teach

and do no more missions on the summer, winter or spring breaks. Big link, Big Wing. Yes, I know you're not supposed to say that.

Yes. So it's interesting learning some of your military background. I'm curious how

you bring that to your teaching art. What do you guys working

on right now? Ah, well, right now we're having people draw their darkest nightmares and whatever medium they want asked for a lot of the kids. They're not having the kind of nightmares. I want them to have some effect. I'm going to their house and engaging with their parents, and I'm setting up some kind of scary shit for them to do. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're creating nightmares to fire our

That's correct, cause I find some of my best art comes from my nightmares. You know, if your holding a man's throat who has a K bar knife to your neck and your slowly pinching his windpipe when you watch his face turned blue and you watch the bio form of the corners amounts. You watched his eyes say, I'm out of here. You hold on to their and you just watch until his body evacuates his battles until he's urinating and you just slowly kill it. Once you see that you got yourself a paint.

Wow, I think I might need to make a paying Just hearing that description. Ah, that took me to a dark place. You're welcome. Eso and

their crew, your paintings

air very Cruz drawing. I'm not good at art that I think the feeling that's important, not the skill level of the stray those you can do. Those who can't teach a my right that's us. Admit, That's right. I teach driving because I cannot do it. Absolutely accident every time I get in the car. So I have

to sit in the passenger side and put my foot on the big break. That's what I do. You know you can't act. That's why you gotta teach. Correct. Your plays have been pan

Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't act.

You're not cool. That's why you have to wear that leather jacket on those kids

that doesn't have to do with teaching, though I I know biology.

I don't know.

I could do biology, if you know what I mean. Sex, e

sex. You might Country obviously are not

good. It's got a country of the powerhouse of the sale. Your bodies? Oh, yeah, that's the shit I know. I know the biology slip a k bar knife into a man's gold. Your body. He remembers

you. I'm not surprised that powerhouse of the cells was the one that stuck with you. You're learning biology.

That's all I needed because that's the one that processes adenosine triphosphate. 80 p. A k. The active ingredient in Crete.

You have such specific. I've been reading

muscle and fitness magazines since I was 10. And even when I took 10 years off from working out still read the magazine, my family think I might be

gay. Your family may be yourself. Oh, yeah. I thought

about being gay for a while, but then I realized I wasn't attracted to these men as much as I aspired to be them. And so I started lifting weights. And then I got that job in Columbine High School ready to fucking knock these nerds

out on,

then turns out they had no more shootings and I was needed more action. So I went from Columbine, Afghanistan type. That's Chapter three from Columbine to Afghanistan. That's a good play idea. You should.

It actually says Very fascinating. Maybe we could work together and I could do a biography of your life and kind of ID, obviously play you and have to probably spoke up a little bit A little

bit. Yeah, again. £200. I recommend heavy farmers. Gary's as as often as you can.

Okay, So any farmer certainly ensure

no farmer walk is when you carry to dumbbells or kettlebells in your hands. On the wall ground develops traps, creep strength, you know, all the usual.

What if you can't get those off the ground?

You can't pick dumbbells up. Come in all different ways.

Is there one that's lighter than a feather?

What about

one that just take the lowest number? Mr. We are the weirdos Yeah, on the craft Love that movie I love Gothic chicks

waken say we all

dio Yeah, I think we all have shown the craft at least once or twice on hungover day or substitute

show that I show the craft. I show cruel intentions and the show Wild things and I shall while things and I show hollow man because I want them to see Kevin Bacon's Penis twice. I'll tell you what I get 98.6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, if you know what I mean. That my body temperature goes back down, the more I usually run at 101 from all the other mechanics.

So I guess I don't know what you mean. If Kevin Bacon cools you down,

cool down and you see just Kevin Bacon to sort of bait a nice guy. But little, you know, not a non threatening cock. It's not like you're seeing it. You don't think he's working with a hog? He's got a hawk. He's got a hug. Don't get me wrong, but he's shooting a pool scene in shower scene. He's not full logging. Those right now is not Fassbender, right? I watch. I showed last three times. Ham's got hot, but Ham hasn't shown in the movie then, right? I'm tired of this magazine photo shoot from far.

Yes, and human blowing the whistle on Hamm's

heart. God, this I mean, come on bullshit, lady. Oh, and Ham. We have one like that

until he proves it.

If you want a career, if he wants to make a big comeback, he needs to quit drinking and show his

way. Now how? We used

to watch Mad Man all the time in the barracks way. Loved. He had the DVDs. Did you have a satellite feed? We had a satellite feed. Matthew Winer set us up pretty true. He loves the truth. You know, you got support. We started used that against people all the time. Like support the troops send us all those cuts and bad men when you get so we watched a lot of rough cuts. You know, our 14 minute long It's daily without the special effects, baby. Oh, baby. Are a lot of people just off camera shouting and strange access confusing for us to watch. But I love that show.

I used to do USO shows, uh, because I obviously support the troops. And I would have served like you if I could have.

And the reason you can is willing

to cowardly That's fair. That's medical. Yeah, I had, uh yeah. Coward. Bones, is you diagnosed Yeah, with coward bones, coward, bone spurs on DSO. But I did go over there and I did some I did a whole variety show, you know, because the joke the show was always You're about to bring out a sexy actress that everyone knows, But it's always me During an impression of the actress got pissed beaten out of me. Oh,

I remember hearing about that. I think people were both pissed about the let down that it wasn't a sexy woman. And then also, you were doing that weird Asian accent for your Scarlett Johansson

introduction. Yeah, because it was a trance.

And take down that. I think about taking out a car.

Yeah, I think out of context, that just seemed like you were doing some old school 19 seventies Chinese. Stand up.

Yeah, I think there was mostly a context issue.

Personally, I went people told me about it. I left my ass off.

Were there any What was your Obviously art was your escape, But did you have another escape? You know, from or

hash. So you have to You have to. That's your best way to get in with these people. You smoke Who insurgents. The good guys, the bad guys. You just wanna be smoking hash over their smell like hash. They trust you. I smoke a full on hookah blow my ass wide open with hash.

That makes a little bit

of sense to me. You

know, I don't trust

someone who's too squeaky clean even here. Yeah, I mean, you selling hash

over there eventually led to the capture of Osama bin Laden.

That's right. Something Osama bin Laden started buying hash off me. I didn't know it was him at the time, but then I started selling them first person shooter games. Osama bin Laden, Book Command and Conquer, which is a real time strategy game. I understand it's not RTs, but he purchased a few more games. I got borderlands two, you know. And then he asked for the Charlie bit me video this guy up, and if

you look all that stuff, actually on his hard drive I never told you guys My

first art piece that ever got is in the, uh, the Afghanistan Art Museum. The A M. No beautiful museum. Beautiful museum. Yeah, and so my my painting, I guess you call the paintings mixed medium. I was blowing hash with a bunch of insurgents, You know, a lot. I was undercover, Pretended to be a haji. And I, uh, uh called for the situation called for. And you know this. Is there any one of these guys the situation called? You know, Mike Sorrentino. He's a lieutenant in the Delta Force. A lot of people think you went to jail for tax evasion, but he was on logo front cover witness protection went to the military. When

you need when you need Loki,

you call the situation on. So the situation called and he said, You got to do me a favor, got take this motherfucker out and I was like, It's gonna make a mess. And everyone's gonna know he's like throws and I So I threw a little easel up behind this guy, Put a fucking silence pistol to his head, pulled the trigger 45 caliber, right? There's rain pink mist. Beautiful. Unbeknownst to

me lands on that easel and it

looks fucking beautiful. Color like a pollock. Like a Kevin Policy. Usual suspects. His

standings are incredible. Not enough people talk about,

you know Kevin Pollock on this pot,

we're trying week. Every time we calm, we just keep getting Christopher Walken. So

he's pretends as assistant.

I know. Is that you pretending?

Yeah, one of the

things he's known for besides being in some of the greatest films in the 19 eighties, is he's mostly known for his Chris Walken impression.

I mean, I can't but that zone impression We're not getting Chris walking every time

we call. Oh, you know what? To be fair, I'm speaking out of turn. It could be Chris walking. Uh, would be weird for Chris walking the answer and Kevin Pollock phone. You might have the wrong number. Two. It could be looking for his last job. His last out

could be, you know, trying t know

she's going. Oh, you got to get that final job. Everyone needs an end of life job in the E. Oh, that's my art Teaching A year and 1/2 left will be your life of my life. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I hope that's borrowed time, baby. I'm I'm on borrowed time.

You had a pretty similar experience. They're making a podcast about you that's pretty similar to the Bowe Bergdahl experience, right? That's correct where you disappeared. He went away without leave. And you kind of use the defense? Um,

yeah, they tried last year. I took a fully a sabbatical Now is gone for one full year. And they tried to fire me. I said, Oh, no, I was a p o w. I was a Venezuelan prisoner of war for a year is what the school things. But in reality, I was a prison warden in Venezuela for one

because this excuse a few times you said

that you were one of

the Chilean miners. That was Chilean miner. I was one of the Thai kids trapped in a cave. I was also one of the divers, one of the Peto divers who had to rescue the kid.

You said also that you were on on that Malaysian Airlines flight that disappeared. And you're the only person that came back.

Ah, well, yeah, I mean, that one's obviously e. I got plenty of cover stories. I just look at stuff that happens in the news. And I'm like, That was me, baby,

that is right. That's how you do it.

Yeah, Through a battery of Santa Claus in the Philadelphia Eagles, stadium that was making you just say that you like. That's why I can't make it to work today. Check the news. It's really

That's smart. That's really smart. My excuses air a little thinner and they usually get caught by about lunch.

The company has a lot of great.

Yeah, they figure out they see me, you know, just like just off campus grounds that Yes, because you

could, because you get free teacher lunch here. The you come in,

come in. I were disguised. That I think is convincing.

Oh, let me work with you on disguises, Okay? Oh, yeah. I spent a year and 1/2 as a woman and a Vietnamese brothel in a brothel. Gathering information, OK, And

what did that until what was your job?

How fucking and fucking tourists as they came through, that was all to stay undercover. Yeah, I never got any information, but I built a solid base of connections and made over $44,000. Really? Only one year of sucking and fucking 8 to 10 cox a day that would do shows with some of the other women in there. But I had to be very because I was not about. I told the military I'm like, I am not changing my genitals. The Ping Pong show is difficult for you. That was easy for me. You just a little doggy style. You just got to keep that butthole waxed. Get that bottle waxed. You eat up a bunch of chickpeas and you could pop anything you want out there.

So how is this advice gonna

help him? Pretend Teoh leave campus and coming with extra? Look

how you've just got to go big with your disguise, people. Well, look, the military Delta Force uses the film. Who's Harry Crumb? Tiu Terminal there. That's how we figure out our disguises. Customs. We just copy whatever Harry Crumbs doing

right, because I saw they released some of that seal team six footage and it basically looked like the clumps.

Yeah, well,

that footage you saw footage they wanted you to see. Oh, yeah. The reason I look back the clubs is because it was one Navy seal playing all the Navy seals. It was very confusing. I can't believe how many people fell for it. You got a good eye, my friend. It must be the acting teaching you noticed it was just one Navy seal, but it became seal Team six. Yes, it was.

You hear? Lewis was one

chanting Hercules! Hercules! Yeah, well, they did cut spicing some real audio from the movie. Not gonna make me shit my pants. It was funny and heroic at the same. That's right. Yeah, that's what you want best. That's what you want. An elite mission. You want to be funny

that it's a viral. If it was just a video of killing someone who is a military importance, You know, maybe that doesn't blow up. But if it's funny, like the clumps, it hasn't been

an angle. Every surge has to have a funny angle.

Yes, all your damn right. This guy's damn

right now. Um, I know you're kind of on the chopping block here. 10 year wives, because you've been doing some of student debates. I know we've been having some like political debates where teachers debate students from the debate club.

Yes, that's correct. I'm on the chopping, but you tell me

wagon Well, you could You could go pretty

aggressive with the debates and the students, and you kind of end up turned the debates into insults on a kind of cruel competition.

Most verbal. Yeah, horrible and sort of. But the second you look

me in the eye, I am an apex predator. You

look me in the eye, I'm gonna tax. And when one these

little fucking fruity little kids looking at me and saying

Mr Landon! Mr. Landon! Let me speak. Let go

of me! Mr. Landon! Let go of me! This is not how debates work. Please, Principal, Stop him! Stop him! Oh, no! He's

in the rafters. We're never gonna catch. You know, when people are saying that stuff, it drives me up the fucking wall and I'm bound to react. Yeah, bound to Rio. People

are too quick to tell us how we can't behave around the Children,

you know? I mean, like, that's

a big thing with this administration. So don't do this around the Children. You can't smoke cigarettes in class. Where is she? Rolled every day. Oh, that's my least favorite. I got them to finally approve sleeveless button down shirt. That's which is great, cause I got all these leftover dealt the far shore. Is that for everybody? Is that we're just for our team because for everybody, but I'm the only one taking advantage of it. You took the talk top over your classroom, right? A convertible classroom. I took my top. I said, It's I tried to do this job, guys like it's topless Tuesday And then I was gonna be charged with sexual harassment of a minor because there's a couple of girls in the class and I said I meant the roof of the classroom. And the principal is like over. Yeah, and I was like, Uh yeah, off course. And so then the next day, I had to take that roof.

What about the

principle going around and challenging all the teachers just standing in the corner gun? Oh, yeah, I'd love to see.

He's a smarmy prick.

It's like he's challenging

us to ruin the school. If we had

a guy, if we had a guy like that in our battalion, we'd give him the Code red. Oh yeah, what a big It's a big glass of mountain day and it's

I thought it was sort of Ah, you're in that time

we beat his ass with bars of soap in socks,

so it's it's kind of wear a few good men left off and then, you know, things change. Something was in a

way, that we got zero good men, if you ask me, were all bad motherfuckers.

So you got a bad

to the cowardly bone. Maybe

you've got your sleeves air off the button up. You at the top off in the class there.

Yeah, I got bottoms off at home. I got it was the smartest thing I ever did was get I'd covered all my furniture and tarps, so I had to sit down with no bottoms on and not worry about leaving a skin. Doesn't that feel disgusting? Oh, it's disgusting. Peeling my hamstrings off my tarp covered couch every morning. But if you shit, it's no big

if you should, if you might. Shit. You don't need to shit on your couch. You know, shit I don't want I know I don't want

to shoot on my couch, but if you've spent one year putting and taken out ping pong balls out of your

ass, it don't work the way you want to work in the morning. I have to

wait till my rectum retirements. And do you still eat a lot of chickpeas. I cannot give up those garbanzo beans. I love homis and I love chickpeas. And I love roasted eggplant homos. And I'm not roasted red pepper

home. I don't know what

else you put chickpeas in before waffle. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. They used Teoh. They got pasta's made out of chickpeas. Now

who? I gotta try that check. Zero t

shirt. He wrote Teoh

be roti. I served with a guy named Chickpea Row. Teeny. Tiny little Guido be routine. He

was our explosives expert. Uh,

how's he doing

here? While he died? He blew his head off.

He blew his own head off. Yeah, he he made what

was called a pillow bomb and he slept on. They're supposed to put that in someone else's house. Yeah, that And that's where the confusion life. I was supposed to put that on someone else put it in his house, but ruled a suicide. So your boy keeps teaching.

You're my boy. Just below where you scared?

We're bonded for life. All four of us. No, I didn't get that from leather

jackets. Get out of shadows. Get this schedule. You've

been scaring me. If I'm

being totally honest. Pretty scared. Yeah, You

should be scared. I got this place wired.

What do you mean

by another pillow? Bob? Look

at all your shirts. See those red dots? Yeah. Those are the laser pointers, baby. Why you got snipers on us? Oh, always. I feel like Sam Jackson as the negotiator. Oh, I love that movie. Yeah, my favorite actor, Kevin Spacey.

That's your favorite actor. Yeah, I heard you help shoot that Frank Underwood video.

Yeah, that's right. We shut the directed that Yeah, most were mostly involved with notes on the acting and the writing, but we shot the whole thing

acting in the rat in his primo top match just the time. And that was that. You said Release it now. No, don't wait till it cools off. Released it. Now. You won't seem like a psychopath.

Way said that. Look how in touch you'll seem talking down to your accusers and everyone that doesn't believe you. That's the way you got to do it. Then they start to respect you.

And then you

got to think how proud to create a house of cards is to see that video. Oh, thank God. I not only made this guy a millionaire, But now he's using my character. Try to get back in the good

graces my character lives on as a horrible riel life. Man, you gotta

feel like Vince Gilligan watching fucking, uh, El Camino. Pretty similar.

Same travesty. I haven't seen El Camino yet, so I can't speak to a

spoiler alert. It's a car, El Caminos. A car? That's the big spoiler car.

Well, thanks again for being here. Oh, and Ah, good luck with the rest of the year And your vacation. Where Where again were you going for the winter break?

I'm going to an island off the coast of America called South America. A big island. Can't be specific as to where I'm going, But the second you see a revolution begin, Just know that was me. Okay,

Before you go, did you want to plug anything? Any projects going on?

Oh, yeah, that would be great. Eso me and chickpea row teeny, we've launched our own

podcast. Oh, cool.

You got to check it out. It's really fun. We we get together and we we watch old action movies way. Talk about him for hours on end. You can check it out of action, boys dot biz.

Which one of them? I

think, you know, eyes me. Full disclosure chickpea routine E.

That was also meet personalities, which we're learning. Leon, these air just aliases

that we're hitting a bit of a Keyser Soze a

moment. Uh, no. My name is Mr Ear Wolf. I'm guest y five.

Well, thanks for being here. Thanks, everyone for listening. And people listen, We'll see. Uh, until next time, stay flippy.