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s09e12
Call Me Freak with Howard Chico (Oscar Montoya)

The Teachers discuss Howard's lazy TV pixelation and Todd accidentally plays a very important tape. Later, American history teacher Howard Chico (Oscar Montoya) stops by to talk about being very tall and shares his audition for Smart Car.

0:00:00
spk_0
 

go. Go! Yeah, I'm a little more whip on top. More whipped yet? Is this

0:00:06
spk_1
 

hot cocoa or is this just sort of melted straight chocolate? Because it's fifth

0:00:10
spk_0
 

pick. Always. You're always coming in

0:00:15
spk_4
 

with a quick Gordon Ramsay on my

0:00:19
spk_2
 

you get is a nightmare. Yeah, And I also I'm not

0:00:22
spk_0
 

saying that bad. When the show was based on my kitchen,

0:00:27
spk_4
 

he got the

0:00:27
spk_1
 

idea, Gorder, as you did get the idea when he came to my house. Waas Yeah, yeah, tonight. But, hey, this is gets

0:00:34
spk_0
 

a lot of just burnt my hand on the pot And I was running around screaming like

0:00:38
spk_1
 

a chicken with my head cut. Yes, that's true. There was also a really ghost. It was going to say I was like, more of like a night like classic. I also had a like are the thing where all of my teeth fell out sort of over and over again? Yeah, they would fall out and I would put him back in and they fall out again like like that was honestly my actual nightmares growing up. And it was happening at your key action,

0:01:01
spk_0
 

and we were all in our underwear we couldn't get our clothes

0:01:04
spk_1
 

back. We couldn't get our clothes back on the bell rang. It's time to get 1/3 period in the class. I mean, in the

0:01:10
spk_2
 

way we were

0:01:10
spk_0
 

having a dinner party. Well, it was like your

0:01:13
spk_5
 

kitchen, but it was also not way. Could tell it was clocks,

0:01:19
spk_1
 

didn't have hands on. But you knew what time it waas.

0:01:22
spk_5
 

So you got the the idea for kitchen nightmares from your kitchen and the idea for his personality from Sam?

0:01:29
spk_0
 

Yes. Yeah, that's right. We both kind of scream at the same amount of time. Yeah. You really like

0:01:35
spk_1
 

to take it out on people who can't really have been dealt of wrong hand. It's nothing in their control. They're doing the best they can. And you come in. You're innovatively wealthy. Um, you've been

0:01:49
spk_0
 

immaculately conceived. Well, um, my flop show, right? Encampment nightmares. What? I would go down the homeless and carry on. Just tear them apart. Wiser Teoh? Is that Why is it so gross? What's happening here? Where to go wrong? I put on my great British accent. Yes, but you would say Don't even give me this mental illness thing. I'm not buying. You're talking to the big guy. You're lazy. Yeah, that

0:02:16
spk_5
 

show was very popular for with police only.

0:02:19
spk_0
 

Yes, it still runs on the police closed circuit

0:02:23
spk_1
 

tanning. But also, if you watch episodes of cops, it's on on the TV almost constantly. If they run past the TV in the precinct,

0:02:30
spk_2
 

what's the

0:02:30
spk_5
 

residual payoff for something like

0:02:32
spk_0
 

that? That deal, whether one thing we do know is that none of it

0:02:37
spk_1
 

goes to the homeless people you heard talking

0:02:39
spk_0
 

Teoh talking is a nice way to put it. Yeah, screaming.

0:02:43
spk_5
 

I mean, nothing better than making TV in a city that is filled with people who are just that. The worst luck. And there's more and more every day. But hey, let's get that Craft services three side meals, Aled Day.

0:02:58
spk_0
 

Let's throw all the food away at the hot Bart Nelson's directly into the trash.

0:03:05
spk_4
 

Um, and let's drive our Porsche's there and let's drive over homeless people's toes on the way in

0:03:12
spk_0
 

Los Angeles. E. I don't know about

0:03:16
spk_1
 

it, but it is, I hear is mad.

0:03:18
spk_5
 

I mean, if you saw escape from L. A or any eighties movie that was like a dystopian future. That's L A. Now it's like you got you. You have to step over a tent to get a $7 coffee, and you just ignore it. Otherwise you would never leave the house.

0:03:36
spk_0
 

And oh, baby, all I could think about is how good that seven.

0:03:39
spk_5
 

Well, they're putting mushrooms and confident. Always.

0:03:45
spk_0
 

I like it with a little bit of, you know, like an actual umami mushroom. But I also like a little bit that fucked up brain stuff.

0:03:51
spk_5
 

That's right. A little suicide

0:03:52
spk_1
 

side excitement. Codicil is having coffee the other day Sale excitement cockily. Yes. And

0:03:58
spk_0
 

they mean what they say. It makes you silly. I was silly. I came in Teoh work. Um,

0:04:07
spk_1
 

and I made a tapestry. Very.

0:04:12
spk_2
 

I would say a silly thing.

0:04:14
spk_5
 

You got it

0:04:15
spk_0
 

nailed you. That's with

0:04:17
spk_5
 

tapestry. Well, the type Mr is very. Come on

0:04:20
spk_1
 

now. All right. Well, everybody, welcome to

0:04:24
spk_2
 

the Teacher's

0:04:25
spk_1
 

Lounge. The first nationally podcast pain issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. Of course.

0:04:33
spk_2
 

Emma Man Sammy, man, Everybody welcome back to the Sami man.

0:04:44
spk_0
 

That's me, baby. New radio host.

0:04:47
spk_2
 

Okay, I'm smelling too many. I'm smelling Episode Come about you. All right, slobs. Keep a lookout for Sami. Man is coming hot out the pipe. Hot off the pie, part off of the fight, bouncing on the pipe for a long time. And it's coming off high. Go ahead. Teasing

0:05:17
spk_1
 

and many I, of course. Um, Howard, go fuck me dot Com Levin that. Yeah, that, of course, is a website that popped up in response to my whole go fund me situation. Ah, over the last week

0:05:35
spk_2
 

I donated

0:05:35
spk_1
 

on Kickstarter. Oh, that's another one for me. That's that's raising enough money to get the person with the strongest kick to kick me in the stomach and make me shit.

0:05:46
spk_0
 

I don't know that on Indy poo poo

0:05:49
spk_1
 

Samos Kickstarter, actually, yeah, but anyway so, please, if everybody could not donate to the go fuck me dot com eso somebody bigger running, start and kick you in the balls. Is that what you said? You know, it says a lot of different things on the website. We could kind of just pick one and say, that's what's gonna happen. Milk is a multi tier. Yeah, there's multi tears. I think $1 donation is ah, little baby kicking them in the nards.

0:06:19
spk_0
 

Well, I don't want to kick you, so I am not going to be Ah, big donator. But I really want to be an executive producer. OK, So I am gonna be putting in some money. That is a

0:06:28
spk_1
 

pretty. Apparently, there's a video being made of the incident as it's being called on the website. So if you I think it's ah, $322 gets you, Ah, an executive producer credit, which is pretty low for that credit, if you ask me. Um, but anyway, uh, I don't actually want to talk about this anymore. It's scaring me. So I

0:06:50
spk_0
 

think we should probably you get kicked in the nards it's we're talking about.

0:06:54
spk_1
 

Yeah. And Well, well, well, I bet you will find out next week whether and I cant

0:06:58
spk_0
 

you think they're going to fulfill their Ah, I think

0:07:01
spk_1
 

it is inches away from from being fulfilled.

0:07:05
spk_0
 

Well, there's a rumor going around

0:07:07
spk_1
 

that you have a smooth Kendall area. That's a that's a very funny rumor. So nothing will happen when everybody anybody who knows me knows that That's not true. Uh,

0:07:19
spk_2
 

I haven't improved.

0:07:21
spk_1
 

Welcome. I mean, Come on, guys. You've heard me peeing. No,

0:07:26
spk_0
 

you always say, Listen, listen, I'm not seeing it while I'm hearing I feel like there's

0:07:31
spk_1
 

some Foley situation going on in this house. But how could I do that? Your

0:07:36
spk_0
 

you don't know Foley is a term used by the film industry. That is Ah, horse clumps and you make fake noise. You ever sent horse

0:07:49
spk_5
 

cop in a movie? And that's what fully

0:07:52
spk_0
 

is. Being your Foley is not is not fooling.

0:07:57
spk_2
 

There was It seemed like a stampede. I don't mean ped.

0:08:01
spk_1
 

Yes. So you're saying that I have a bunch of horse core? You saying I had a bunch of sound effects on my phone? And when I get in the bathroom P and stampede or so close that I accidentally hit stampede the other day and everybody heard, wasn't thinking. That isn't what you think.

0:08:16
spk_0
 

I thought it was, um what is it

0:08:19
spk_4
 

when you don't use ah effects in a movie and you do practical practical foley in there?

0:08:28
spk_0
 

We're talking coconut shells on a hard wood on the top of the talking clock cloaking oclock. This isn't fully This is video. Well, yes. Now now we're doing via That's Theo.

0:08:41
spk_2
 

So for those of you don't know V.

0:08:44
spk_0
 

O is a bilma industry term for when they're his, you need a voice over the top

0:08:51
spk_1
 

of something. That's right. That's what the s stands for. A voice over the top for you over the top. So

0:08:57
spk_0
 

you do have a Penis.

0:08:58
spk_1
 

You're not doing Foley in the stall is what you're saying. I Yeah, I'll yes, I have a Penis, and pee comes out of it and you don't have a big bag of yellow water that you poke a hole that when you go,

0:09:10
spk_2
 

where would I get

0:09:10
spk_1
 

yellow water? But

0:09:12
spk_0
 

you get water and yellow food

0:09:13
spk_1
 

coloring. That's now. That's interesting. Don't look. Don't look at my grocery receipts. I That is interesting, though. Wow.

0:09:20
spk_2
 

Okay, this is big

0:09:22
spk_5
 

speech. Is you heard it here first.

0:09:24
spk_2
 

Well, it really

0:09:24
spk_0
 

solved some of this version stuff. Well, yeah, it actually makes it now. It makes me feel for you because you have smooth kindle area. So you you've been horrified of this for your whole life. You're anatomically incorrect,

0:09:37
spk_3
 

guys. You got me again. Oh, he's coming clean now. What happened when I was young. My parents decided to

0:09:47
spk_1
 

have be circumcised. Oh, watched And I had a botched circumcision. Was that you on that episode of botched with heavy isolation on most of your head? Yeah, my home by a lot of around

0:10:00
spk_0
 

the bases. A lot. So

0:10:01
spk_1
 

they said to me, Well, they said it wouldn't follow your head fast enough. I said, I said, I said, This is really embarrassing. Can you guys please just blur out? My whole ran your picks. Elation in the

0:10:11
spk_0
 

box. That was you. It's where they left in the frames where it was just totally missing.

0:10:18
spk_1
 

Yeah, I mean, in my contract, I said, They said, Well, only do one pass and I said, Please do more.

0:10:24
spk_2
 

It almost

0:10:25
spk_0
 

had a mind of its own. The fix elation. It would you would walk out of frame. It would not follow you. It would show back up in the next scene with them to go food it would show relate to the scene with a fresh you know, they was taking a break. So basically, you are not late. You stop it. Starbucks, Basil, azure blue that.

0:10:45
spk_1
 

I know that somebody was doing live Mo cap on my picks. Elation

0:10:51
spk_0
 

that I have plastic cups at home. I bring it from home. Oh, Elsa Picks elation. Say please. Ladies had nothing but excuses. Thinks laser excuses, excuses, base elation. You're fired. We're getting a black box in here. For which Lane? Playing those things? A

0:11:09
spk_2
 

professional. They ever quit charge. You found a black box? I did. You proud of my box?

0:11:15
spk_5
 

I did. Yeah. I'm not taking any interviews. Highest bidder. Highest bidder has Kevin's of this because I know what's on the black box. But you gotta pay big money to get what?

0:11:27
spk_2
 

Todd, I don't know if you guys

0:11:28
spk_0
 

know this past week has been gone. Todd was the sole survivor of a plane that went down. I was saying Todd kept a I need to find the bucks for anyone else. Says I need to find the box. Everybody else says we're like, Is that because you made it go down? Shut up, Shut up. Shut up. Just got find this box. You found the box

0:11:45
spk_5
 

on the bucks.

0:11:46
spk_2
 

That's good night.

0:11:47
spk_5
 

Now the highest bidder can come get it coming. Prayed for my hands.

0:11:52
spk_0
 

A lot of civilians dead in a field,

0:11:55
spk_5
 

and I'm standing by my story that it was literally a plane full of terrorists that I'm the only one that of the only one that wasn't a terrorist, right? And I saved the day. But

0:12:05
spk_2
 

what was it like

0:12:06
spk_1
 

surviving Todd? I mean, tell

0:12:08
spk_5
 

I mean heroic. Honestly, if I've never felt so heroic,

0:12:11
spk_0
 

you better be careful gesturing

0:12:13
spk_4
 

around that back black bucks because there's obviously play fast forward, rewind, record to stop.

0:12:20
spk_5
 

I can't help but

0:12:21
spk_0
 

be careful and that. But,

0:12:22
spk_5
 

I mean, I already accidentally, uh, left the black box at the gym. Uh, sounds

0:12:30
spk_2
 

like a mini coming ST Jude black box. Many.

0:12:35
spk_5
 

The whole thing happened where I bought the black box, the gym? Because I thought it was my CD player. Uh, and I looked into it, and I was like,

0:12:42
spk_0
 

This isn't because you still use a big old Discman.

0:12:44
spk_5
 

Yeah, and don't know what you're thinking. I got a 25 seconds skip on there so it won't. It'll hold for 25 seconds on the skip, but I do run big and fast on bouncy. You have like

0:12:56
spk_1
 

trays. Did you put it on this little shock? It's over. Yeah, yeah,

0:12:59
spk_5
 

yeah. You say a lot of people say it costs more than just getting on expensive iPhone, but I'm a tactile guy. I lived in the past with CDs and stuff, but yeah, the plane went down. I took it down. Her wrote

0:13:10
spk_0
 

Your story was, It's full of terrorists. You're the Onley civilian on

0:13:14
spk_4
 

board and you kind of united 93. Let's go time and you'd come all down.

0:13:19
spk_2
 

What do you

0:13:19
spk_0
 

think sold all those tickets to exclusively terrorists?

0:13:21
spk_5
 

That's what we're trying to figure out on. I'm working on a documentary. Uh,

0:13:26
spk_0
 

they'll be on

0:13:27
spk_4
 

their at once like it would be. They have to also be the pilot upon

0:13:31
spk_0
 

takeoff. Every this could have been

0:13:33
spk_1
 

there. Their big, great thing to take Todd out. That's true that they took so many.

0:13:38
spk_5
 

That's the theory. I mean,

0:13:39
spk_0
 

we cover on that play, you're getting awful close your gesturing.

0:13:42
spk_5
 

What's I? I'm not gonna hit the play of rewind or anything, but not here. Don't worry, you're not going to get it.

0:13:48
spk_0
 

If I did, what you would

0:13:49
spk_5
 

hear is is a bunch of terrorists thinking that they finally one and me taking them all down with capoeira. Um, Brazilian dance, fighting

0:14:01
spk_0
 

on your way here. Terrorist voices on Todd. You don't know Kappa wary. Oh, wow. Okay, we'll go back

0:14:10
spk_5
 

to the 120 dead crime doers on that plane. All right? I took him down with cap. Aware of you

0:14:17
spk_2
 

can

0:14:17
spk_1
 

barely stand up you. There's no way you could do like a graceful round kick

0:14:22
spk_0
 

was your strong cost. You were a drunken master for why I waas, But you are just drunk.

0:14:28
spk_5
 

A master. I mean, I was drunk, and I thought people so either had a lot of comments, Drunken master. But yeah, I've got the black box right here and no one's gonna get it. May

0:14:37
spk_2
 

be careful.

0:14:45
spk_6
 

Arm in first class. You're you're you're You're in the last seat of coach. You're back there, right about there. Must have been a mistake. There must have been mistake on the way in because do you recognize me? No. Okay, well, I am flying out to ST Paul Minneapolis. The Twin Cities to audition, they say. Well, Minnesota. Excuse me. ST Paul, Minnesota, ST Paul, Minneapolis. The Twin Cities state bullets inside the state of Minneapolis and by the way that you know what? How dare you talk to me like that? Yeah, I'm like me, sir. You know, is there a problem here? I'm actually an active service military member. I actually have a Purple Heart. Oh, yeah, there is a problem. And it's called the Endless War that you can't win, my man. Get back to work, get back to work. I think we'll get this guy off the place back in. Uh, do not open that door. Do not open that door. Don't work. Do not over that door. Sir, we I know you've been milling about. Ah, and you snuck in the bathroom, but we are in the air. OK, we're making our initial. Okay? I'm sorry. You know what? I break out a little bit because I also served. Give me a little PTSD. I salute you. My You know what? What? My hand. What was your What was your classifications? Uh, warrior. Okay. War your hand to hand combat. Sir, I I was wondering why you were in a full g. Ok, but that Hi ya. I do not appreciate all that. You didn't make contact with me. I feel like it was an attempt to scare me with that. I want to say it didn't hurt, but just go to your seat. Nobody travels like they used to look at you all in sweatpants. I travel like we used to go. I'm in my full g. No, you know, you have a G. You're in a sweat, pinky, and you have a service animal collar. Are you someone service Animal is that you got on there? Oh, wait. Let me see your ticket for a second. This guy supposed to be under the plane. Oh, my God. So are you someone service animal? That's illegal. I'd like to speak to the captain. My question is, where's the service? And, um, I would like to speak to the camp. Did you impersonate someone? Service animal. I'd like to speak to the captain. Right. You don't get to talk to the camper cavities making his initial descent its initial descent. See that size on, sir? I e uh huh. Uh huh. Uh, Are you trying to kick us trying? Oh, uh, mam, move your seat back and tray table up so I could kick these people. Okay.

0:17:19
spk_0
 

Okay. Stop in the put tape. There First

0:17:22
spk_1
 

of all, you should have stopped away sooner if there's a there's a top of the

0:17:26
spk_5
 

buttons with too small a terrorist. I had to put on my reading glasses to you Find the stop. But there

0:17:32
spk_0
 

was a time you tried to turn it off right away. You're spending most of time fiddling with your glasses for a single terrorist.

0:17:39
spk_1
 

There was this. In fact, there was a, uh, Purple Heart. Military man.

0:17:45
spk_0
 

There was one terrorist. It was Todd. Yeah, that was the G I. Joe with more. You know, it was You have to battle. Okay, let's go on. Now. You impersonate animals. I don't

0:17:57
spk_5
 

know what I was doing. I don't know, OK?

0:18:00
spk_0
 

There's a blind man who died without his seeing eye dog on that plane.

0:18:03
spk_5
 

Well, I saved the dog's life

0:18:06
spk_4
 

by killing

0:18:06
spk_2
 

it.

0:18:07
spk_5
 

No, I didn't kill. A tard

0:18:09
spk_4
 

was hit on the tarmac by the by the the carry on.

0:18:14
spk_0
 

He said the dog didn't know where to go without someone to lead. Yeah, the baggage cart ran over.

0:18:20
spk_5
 

Okay, you got me. I'm a terrorist. I took down the plane and I took I killed the dog down the playing and I killed the dog on. I can't think of a reason why I killed a bunch of people on a plane and then killed the dog. The dog's not dead place. What's the

0:18:37
spk_1
 

dogs? Not Dad. Okay, goods. Goodness, that's good. Dog is I see you.

0:18:43
spk_5
 

Okay, well, go visit it.

0:18:45
spk_0
 

Well, speaking of the I C u, the winter formal is coming up. Yeah, and we are

0:18:49
spk_2
 

still pretty

0:18:50
spk_0
 

excited about what is it? I see you themed, it is global warming theme. Right? And that's her. All good?

0:18:57
spk_1
 

Yeah, the earth. Uh, the earth is an intensive care unit.

0:19:01
spk_0
 

I wish we were taking intensive care of the Earth, but we're not. We're not, and it's gonna get burnt. And this is the big lesson

0:19:09
spk_4
 

that we're trying. Yeah, we're taking more like, urgent care now. Of course there are

0:19:13
spk_5
 

some. We are looking for a venue because our last one fell out of escrow. Uh, so we're looking

0:19:20
spk_0
 

to realize

0:19:21
spk_1
 

that you should at, um, by the menu, you can just rent it. So we met. The rental was offered, but we said no, we'll buy. We made a

0:19:31
spk_4
 

sky high cash offer,

0:19:33
spk_5
 

and it made sense with the way the market's going.

0:19:35
spk_0
 

Yes, yeah, we we know it's bullish. We know it's a bullish market.

0:19:40
spk_4
 

We got a hard money loan is about fort, 40% interests. But we did fell out. We fell out of escrow,

0:19:48
spk_5
 

which some might say is lucky, cause now we don't have to buy the place. But we are looking for right now we're we're shopping around.

0:19:55
spk_1
 

Size is important here.

0:19:57
spk_5
 

Yeah, big intensive care units. So we're looking for ones in the city that could maybe a wheel out some of the people there or move them to another floor.

0:20:03
spk_4
 

I didn't know a walk through of an old circuit city, but I was thinking

0:20:08
spk_5
 

that maybe used, um and, ah, you know, a lot of students are getting worried and they're saying we're going to go to

0:20:15
spk_1
 

the other for normal form. Yeah, they're gonna go to the normal former. We're saying guys don't make that choice yet. You know, we still got out, got a few days. We got a few days before the formal, we'll find a venue, something the universe always provide, always, and we will find a great venue, and you all will be able to have your fun and you're learn. And your life. Yes.

0:20:36
spk_0
 

You'll be able to have your fun and you learn here. Yeah, right.

0:20:38
spk_5
 

Not a lot of people were signing up, so we said, let us. I know what we need. We need this to be a little bit of a class two s. So it's gonna be like school formal is gonna be like school. You're gonna learn a little there, especially about the earth and how it's in intensive care. Um, so we've since retiring intensive care now instead of the a lot of the stuff we were doing with the play, we're going to do more of an interactive hospital union.

0:21:05
spk_4
 

Yes. Ah, lot of what we've been doing is finding ways to make the earth look like a patient. So I spent about two hours on figuring out how to give this spinning globe on ivy as part of kind of like a ah, a

0:21:27
spk_0
 

bit of a bank's. Yeah, a little bit of a bank. See, with a twist. Little political art. That's right. And you were having a tough time because you were trying to put it on the side of the globe, and it would just spin around and fly off. I was given the globe too hard of a spin, and I couldn't find the Bain, if you will. Uh uh. Then you go and then you found the equator. I did find the

0:21:49
spk_4
 

equator, Big Long Bain along

0:21:53
spk_1
 

the middle of the earth, and I got I got tapped in.

0:21:57
spk_0
 

I see you formal. It's that, but But I will still be having a grenade at the formal in case anybody is not scared enough of the global warming itself. Just remind you this is a ticking time bomb or a powder keg or a live grenade. And all we need to do is pull the pin. I think. Let's

0:22:22
spk_5
 

be let's be honest there, listeners. Right now, we were working on the formal for a few weeks. The students didn't care about it, and now we don't care anymore.

0:22:31
spk_0
 

So we don't care

0:22:32
spk_5
 

about your formal. Uh, we're not gonna put a lot of work into it. We're gonna move on to something we're more excited about. You just don't care anymore about the formal kids

0:22:40
spk_0
 

because it's

0:22:41
spk_5
 

so it's gonna happen. It's gonna be all the stuff we talked about what we don't give a shit and for the rest of the episode and probably in the future, we're

0:22:47
spk_0
 

not going to

0:22:47
spk_5
 

reference it that much more because you can hear it in our voices. We don't care about the formal today on. We didn't last week. So let's you know, let's put the formal to bed and let's just say, Have fun, go to whichever one you want, but we don't give a shit anymore.

0:23:03
spk_0
 

You don't care about it.

0:23:03
spk_5
 

All right? Now, on to something we do care about, um the m m a match coming

0:23:11
spk_0
 

now that we're hungry for we've always a big yearly

0:23:16
spk_5
 

tradition has been teachers debating each other on some hot but in issues. And we kept losing the debates, the four of us, and we said, All right, well, let's take it to the next level on. So now next week we will be doing a debate. But then, after that, um, we will all be going into the squared circle. I'll be taking on Mr I'll be taking on Mr Moody. And, uh hey, he may out research me, but we'll see in the ring. Who's got more better idea.

0:23:44
spk_0
 

He's got much better kicks

0:23:46
spk_1
 

than you do taught. I will tell. You gotta watch out for his shin, come across your jaw.

0:23:51
spk_5
 

I know another afford to that. But I have Ken Shamrock in my corner and his plugs air his plugs or fresh

0:23:57
spk_0
 

on. He's teaching you how to snap and lose control.

0:24:02
spk_5
 

You know, I think I if I get Mr Moody into a leg lock, I want to break his ankle.

0:24:08
spk_0
 

And I'm really excited for this because I have been tasked to build the squared circle. And

0:24:13
spk_2
 

let's just say I'm struggling and

0:24:15
spk_0
 

figuring out how to do it. That's right. Too

0:24:18
spk_2
 

many, too many

0:24:18
spk_0
 

shapes for me to figure out right could do a square and I could do a circle, but I'm having a tough time with the squared circle. That's a tough one, was like

0:24:27
spk_1
 

a long straight line, and then you tried to come around and it didn't meet

0:24:31
spk_0
 

was it didn't mean my first line was great First line. We said that is wood and it is working great. Help your bottom line straight about a straight

0:24:41
spk_5
 

lighter wood and it was

0:24:42
spk_2
 

great. I'm not as soon as I mailed the first piece

0:24:44
spk_0
 

of wood to make the corner, I was lost. A lot of people say you should just get seven pieces of wood that are the exact same size and just go around. Well, that's it's too easy. Too easy. I'm drawn up plans. I'm on Auto cad, and I'm learning that first counting. So I have a seven. That's rebels.

0:25:05
spk_1
 

My problem, I suggested seven. That's not gonna get us all set to

0:25:08
spk_5
 

God. We're still with another one.

0:25:09
spk_2
 

Right? See, this is tougher than we thought

0:25:11
spk_0
 

it was Ready. We're gonna have a bit. Here's what I will say. The announcing is going to be on point because I didn't get Joe Rogan. But there's a bird that hangs out in his backyard named Kroger. Will be and got Joe Rowe game. I got Joe Rogaine.

0:25:27
spk_5
 

Juror gainful head

0:25:28
spk_2
 

full. Head up his

0:25:32
spk_0
 

name. Joe are okay. Parentheses not faith. Did you Did you buy

0:25:37
spk_1
 

any shares? Lock the deal for bro Rogan or bro Rogaine?

0:25:40
spk_0
 

Ah, no, those They're playing hard to get

0:25:44
spk_5
 

there both in sensory deprivation. Tanks of the king. Your phone?

0:25:48
spk_0
 

Well, bro, Rogan is really unaware of what he does now because Joe Rogan seems to be a bro. That's right. A little bit, bro ish. So it's kind of like a hat on a hat.

0:25:58
spk_5
 

Yeah, Brooke, it's like I can't squeeze myself into my skin any more than Joe Rogan already has. So, Sam, you know, you've been working hard on building that time I driven past the Home Depot a few times.

0:26:16
spk_2
 

You don't seem to be

0:26:17
spk_5
 

making it that far past the hot dog cart.

0:26:20
spk_2
 

Yes, right. Pretty alluring

0:26:22
spk_0
 

out there, you've noticed what a beautiful hot dog cart that is.

0:26:25
spk_2
 

Well, you could take some

0:26:26
spk_1
 

design. Maybe there's some sort of design inspiration

0:26:29
spk_0
 

there on I have. Well, you saw my first blueprint. Yeah, it was a hot look like That's right. It was more of a red. Hello, friend, that. I mean, the blueprint was there, but then I accidentally used it is a place mat for one of these hot dogs. So it all got all smudged up, so I drew another one. But then I messed it up with another hot dog. So I drew 1/3 1 But then I'm away in the Home Depot. I had to stop and get a hot. So you're on the design

0:26:58
spk_5
 

your back onto the norm, but unfortunately, you got distracted by the

0:27:02
spk_0
 

Yes, Unfortunately, unfortunately, you're kind of in this loop where you keep almost getting there. But you get a hot

0:27:07
spk_1
 

dog and you bring it back and put it on the

0:27:08
spk_0
 

blueprint. That's right. And then I go, I better go home and print up a new blueprint. Yeah, Gates out. Definition of insanity.

0:27:15
spk_2
 

It's gonna get

0:27:16
spk_0
 

finished doing this for four days. You know, I've had 32 hot dogs and 33 blueprints. So this fresh one right here as you guys conceive E yes. Of fresh

0:27:26
spk_5
 

blueprint. I'm gonna be honest with you. Bills being nice to me. It looks like you're holding up 100 set. I'll be

0:27:33
spk_0
 

frank. And maybe it's just the words that I I'll be This is good international. I really do

0:27:46
spk_1
 

hope you do get the squared circle, Bill because I'm really excited. You has. No, I'm refereeing them. It may matches here, and I'm taking classes from Ah, the guy who they was the ref on Celebrity Deathmatch. Yeah,

0:27:57
spk_0
 

Judge Mills, late bills like Judge Mills. But

0:28:01
spk_2
 

you are taking

0:28:01
spk_0
 

a glass from from the Claymation judgment.

0:28:05
spk_1
 

Yeah, somebody actually, somebody spent the time on YouTube to cut together classes that are just words from old celebrity Deathmatch. Uh, episode? Yeah, and it's just little sound bites cut together like those compilation V is where they make Obama sing a song. Uh, but it's miles. What's

0:28:24
spk_0
 

his name? Judge Meals Judge Mills

0:28:26
spk_1
 

Lane Giving you instructions on how Teoh to referee combat sports.

0:28:32
spk_5
 

Now that's good, because Azzawi, although from wrestling or, um, what's the thing we're talking about? Mm, A boxing. The ref has a big attitude and gets pushed around anyone more perfect for it than Howard. I mean, there is no respect for the ref. He's constantly making mistakes. He's getting thrown into the middle of it. Also, our fights are going to be more like wrestling than I've been in the

0:28:54
spk_0
 

mail. You're asking

0:28:56
spk_1
 

No, no, no. Because

0:28:58
spk_2
 

usually

0:28:59
spk_0
 

they don't know the refs like we all know each other. That's right. Could get a little too heated. And I you know, I think I'm debating one teacher and then all of a sudden were both beating the shit out of the rack because it's Hey.

0:29:08
spk_1
 

Well, if I if what it comes down to is ah, sort to people CC and I By the end of it, then I don't care if it takes me getting punched in the face. Wants to make two people have the same goal than maybe I'm okay with that.

0:29:20
spk_5
 

That's great. And then you doing all three matches. We got Bill doing the welterweight. You say I'm doing the heavy way and I, of course, featherweight. I literally weighed in less than a feather. I

0:29:31
spk_0
 

am doing the Walter way. You're in the Walter Way. Walter White. Yeah, I have to, like, drive a big RV into the ring and you have to wrestle in a button up shirt and whitey tight. Yes, yes, I'm doing the Walter White, but I'm excited.

0:29:46
spk_1
 

I mean, there's another category. There's another person in the Walter White category. Um Cranston.

0:29:55
spk_2
 

Well, he's been

0:29:56
spk_0
 

teaching chemistry here for bad six months. Yes, and he was tired of acting, and we have got big beef with him. He comes into the teachers lounge, drinks up all the old coffee and make a fresh pot. It's awful. It's Abby is terrible.

0:30:11
spk_4
 

What happened and He was diagnosed with cancer last

0:30:13
spk_0
 

week on the show.

0:30:17
spk_5
 

No, no, me neither. I'm not interested. Um, but his son really dislikes him. Is Well, it's

0:30:24
spk_0
 

a son going by now, Francis or something like that. Ah, yeah. He didn't change his damn

0:30:30
spk_1
 

reason way. Don't remember. Also, I hope his health is okay. I hope. I hope the son's health is fine, too.

0:30:35
spk_5
 

Yeah, me too. Uh, pray flu

0:30:38
spk_2
 

way. Has anybody

0:30:40
spk_0
 

noticed? Unrelated? All the lab equipment that's gone missing. And Hamilton? Yeah. My meth lab got totally. My meth lab is gone. I take this part out,

0:30:52
spk_5
 

we'll cut this. But if you guys see my meth lab anywhere, uh, it's not hard to spot. It's explosive. It's combustible. And there's a bunch of people in their underwear with masks back.

0:31:04
spk_0
 

Well, you know how I usually roll around school in a wheelchair with a little bail on it? Yes. So that's gone. It's gone on riel. He stole

0:31:15
spk_2
 

that. I don't know. It's gone. Wow, It is gone.

0:31:20
spk_1
 

And I'll say this This kid that ive been tutoring for a while to co he has Marco. He hasn't shown up Teoh tutoring for the past couple weeks.

0:31:30
spk_0
 

Well, here's what I will say and I die. No, I knew this was weird,

0:31:34
spk_4
 

but I just got rid of it real quick.

0:31:35
spk_0
 

My tortoise had a head on it at my house. What the fuck is I? Just throw it all out throughout the tortoise that I

0:31:46
spk_1
 

want that shit anymore. I've had it for 200 orders in the head. Yes, Jordan's. And

0:31:50
spk_2
 

which one wins that race? The Taurus head. Getting

0:31:55
spk_0
 

a wall now, Bill, Quickly. You said you had that to order for 200 years is true. Okay, Little admission. Focus. Oh, Order story, Origin story. Yes, I'm 270 years old. But if you want to find out how tune into the mini,

0:32:13
spk_5
 

you've got to get on stitcher premium and listen to the minis, my friend

0:32:17
spk_0
 

slobs or no, get the new people, not method the minis make this crazy show makes sense. Yeah, that's where we explain all the logic. If they really want to understand this show,

0:32:28
spk_1
 

you have to listen to the to the minis which we have so much reverence for. There's a reverence on those

0:32:37
spk_0
 

little of professionalism is sky high. Absolutely

0:32:40
spk_5
 

well Let's take a quick break. I want to refill my hot cocoa here,

0:32:45
spk_0
 

and I got E p.

0:32:46
spk_5
 

Ok, let's not get the two mixed up.

0:32:52
spk_0
 

All right, guys, welcome back to the lounge. We accidentally drank P way. I silly drink. Be well, Bill, you

0:33:01
spk_1
 

It wasn't an accident for you because I did it first. Let

0:33:04
spk_2
 

me say I think that way I will shy

0:33:07
spk_0
 

away for some water sports.

0:33:08
spk_2
 

Your guys

0:33:09
spk_5
 

brains were just disgusting.

0:33:11
spk_0
 

Shut up. A couple piss, right? You're relishing some piece of it. Sorry to bring up relish. Okay. Todd's obviously Lebanese putting. Relishing his peak. Relishes be scullery for a hot

0:33:24
spk_2
 

dog work over

0:33:25
spk_0
 

there. Sorry. Sorry.

0:33:27
spk_5
 

Well, we've got a guest. Uh, here and this is actually one of my favorite teachers on campus. And by the end of the episode, you'll know why. Ladies and gentleman, American history teacher Mr Howard Chico.

0:33:40
spk_4
 

Wow! Ah, you

0:33:42
spk_0
 

dio is his name in his

0:33:48
spk_4
 

Hello Better You've got to remind

0:33:50
spk_1
 

people your name any chance to get if you don't mind. Actually, it would be great if we could just call you Mr Chico. You know, there's there's two Howard's in the room it can get

0:33:58
spk_4
 

a little touchy. Oh, some

0:34:00
spk_1
 

of our wars. Like I'd love it if we went with Mr Chico. Mr. Levis,

0:34:04
spk_0
 

anytime would referencing a happy family life and we say hi word or you look great, Howard. Nice hair, Howard. Really great speech the other night, Howard. I think we'll know who we're talking.

0:34:18
spk_5
 

Howard. Chico is those are all pretty brutal

0:34:21
spk_1
 

I find.

0:34:22
spk_2
 

No, no, that wasn't me being mean. I

0:34:24
spk_5
 

got it. Let's just since he's a guest, you'll be Howard one, and you'll be Howard 42.

0:34:29
spk_1
 

Okay? I'm not gonna fight it anymore tonight. Gonna fight it.

0:34:32
spk_0
 

Sounds like it in your voice. No, no, no, I'm fine.

0:34:36
spk_5
 

Well, Mr Chico Or should I call you Howard? Leo Dio, Uh, please do. Thanks for being on the show. The students. I mean, they love your class.

0:34:46
spk_4
 

Ah, yeah. You know,

0:34:47
spk_5
 

they'll come into my theater class and they'll be like, I wish I wasn't here. Uh, likewise, like, well, we had a great time. Mr. Chico's.

0:34:54
spk_0
 

Okay, You're one of those teachers that likes gets down on the kids level. You'll take a knee. You explain to them why really short kids very much over something in the water in this town and messes up people's puberty and heightened. Most people have stunted growth in Hamilton, and it is true. It's true. But we're freaks. That's not our responses

0:35:19
spk_4
 

where the freaks here

0:35:20
spk_1
 

and that is why I think kids do see ah, you as, ah, a sort of positive force Because you make them feel like your crate. Like you're the weird one. Their my way like and it's okay to be They've

0:35:33
spk_4
 

got to be the freak. Okay?

0:35:36
spk_0
 

And that's your big first day of class

0:35:37
spk_4
 

speech. I say a kids, my name is I word Geico. You call me Mr Freak from now on, okay? Because I'm a freak. I'm a feet tall, and I'm proud of you. Okay? What?

0:35:48
spk_1
 

That we're really very weirdly there. You

0:35:51
spk_4
 

know, I'm eight feet tall. OK, cats out

0:35:53
spk_0
 

of the bag. But you forget to say it because you see it. You know, you talk about it, you see it. But for everyone at home, this guy is eight feet tall and his 11 feet wide. Yeah, touches the ceiling sitting down and he's touching both walls while in his seat

0:36:08
spk_5
 

is ah Ah, and you know, we all know who screeched to a halt when this came up. But he is the tallest and widest smart car owner in

0:36:17
spk_0
 

the world. Yes, And you have a deal with smart car. That's sure if you're sort of being endorsed by them and vice versa.

0:36:27
spk_4
 

Yeah. I'm the Jared of the smart cars.

0:36:30
spk_0
 

Awesome. I do. Yeah. A new Jeremy. You're the progressive

0:36:35
spk_4
 

girl, Jared. I ate subway sandwiches while I promote the smart cars. Oh, have you heard about Jared? He's a great guy.

0:36:44
spk_5
 

Well, and I will say no offense, but you play yourself in the commercials. The progressive woman She plays a lot of different characters now.

0:36:51
spk_4
 

I actor No, you todo now.

0:36:55
spk_5
 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:36:58
spk_0
 

You have whatever the opposite of ranges, they interview you as yourself. Yeah, And you You kind of botch it. Yeah, you kind of botched the They interview you as yourself for smart car. And it's tough for you. It's clunky. I

0:37:18
spk_2
 

think we

0:37:18
spk_0
 

have one of those recordings here. Wait, let's play. Let's play your commercial.

0:37:30
spk_6
 

Just get the way. Howard! Chico here. Okay. Howard just said that, uh, why don't you say it now we'll say action. Just just say call me the freak. Howard in action. We've got Howard. Chico here is the, uh We'll just do mine later, okay? Remember of, like, smart car executives air here and we're wonder Wondering why Saying I'm the freak We're going one introducing something called me No, we all think that I'm the three added today I am the free. You don't need to talk to the client, Howard. I have it on you And you talk to the actor down Famines up you jump Take a quick break We're gonna take a break Salmon for me They're all for me. What? They're all for me I'm a feet tall and 11 inches wide Their offer I love who I think of a boy but I'm very All we need to say is Hi, I'm Howard Chico I'm eight feet tall. I'm 11 feet wide and I love my

0:38:37
spk_0
 

Theo End of the commercials.

0:38:42
spk_4
 

They dubbed his voice over me talking and that's how they got

0:38:46
spk_0
 

Really a shing. I would think

0:38:48
spk_1
 

I was going to say I respect them to cut a lot of that out of the commercial that aired on the spot. But this was their big game. It was It was the ad for the biggest during the big game way.

0:38:58
spk_5
 

We can't say the game on on the air, we have to pay royalties.

0:39:02
spk_0
 

Just duper Dole. Yes.

0:39:06
spk_1
 

Runs a duper doll that sits just around with the duper dull. Uh,

0:39:11
spk_2
 

I don't see the Sorry, John Arrived duper dolar eso Howard one. Tell us, um, when did you first

0:39:22
spk_1
 

know that you were getting really

0:39:23
spk_0
 

wine? Or was it or what's it really tall First, were you that was ever

0:39:29
spk_4
 

applied for? Why? I

0:39:32
spk_1
 

probably thought as I did when I was younger. I'll grow into this. I'll grow. If you feel that thin out, I'll be a normal sort of with. When I get

0:39:40
spk_2
 

that. It's clear you're not chunky. No,

0:39:43
spk_4
 

no. I think anyone who says so.

0:39:46
spk_2
 

In fact, you were telling

0:39:48
spk_0
 

us before we came on the air that you spent the summer in Italy. Ah, as

0:39:54
spk_4
 

ah, part of a sailboat team. I was the sailboat.

0:39:59
spk_0
 

You were that you were the sale of the

0:40:01
spk_4
 

boat. I'm 11 feet wide. I was elbow

0:40:05
spk_2
 

as an unbelievable summer.

0:40:07
spk_4
 

You're guarding Tim. You got to be thin. You're part

0:40:09
spk_0
 

of Team Monaco, and you guys were in the BMW.

0:40:12
spk_4
 

But we're in the what? The regatta. That I gotta gotta gotta say it like that or else no one's gonna understand what you say. But I got I got a little

0:40:28
spk_0
 

ricardo recalls. Think I haven't got the Murad. Murad,

0:40:36
spk_4
 

I have a like this and that

0:40:39
spk_0
 

Burrata Say one more time. Try again. So I got cheese.

0:40:44
spk_2
 

I think I got

0:40:46
spk_5
 

okay, but, um, a lot of people think that you might have got, like, gradually gotten to 11 feet and then wide and then gradually eight feet tall, But you were suddenly 11 feet wide, And I was like, Well, I hope I get kind of tall

0:41:00
spk_4
 

time. Call that my unfolding, right. Interesting. Like a parchment squirrel. Yeah. Now is your whole

0:41:07
spk_5
 

family this crazy looking whores, Ray? Petite Oh, really? Both sides.

0:41:12
spk_1
 

Well, it's obviously a recessive gene. It's like the

0:41:15
spk_0
 

power. What? That is room. No,

0:41:18
spk_1
 

I'm just say it's like being a redhead. Both your parents had that.

0:41:21
spk_4
 

What you call me?

0:41:21
spk_1
 

I didn't call your redhead dare. You know, I'm just saying No,

0:41:25
spk_2
 

It's a genetic

0:41:26
spk_1
 

thing. I'm a biology teacher. Okay, I know these things in the Pundits Square. If we're gonna talk about pundits squares, I mean, your parents probably will say they had the capital W and the lower case Double Eugene one for really wide, then one

0:41:40
spk_0
 

for regular wine. You make the point of square in there, all right? But he did take a look at your chromosome, which, with a gas before

0:41:48
spk_5
 

have him on way. Look

0:41:50
spk_2
 

at the way. Prick you some now you know, X. Why to W's Well, I'm

0:42:03
spk_1
 

a g. I met the gene. It's not. It's there. It's the gene pundits square thing.

0:42:08
spk_4
 

I also famously don't have an X or a Y chromosome.

0:42:11
spk_0
 

Know that with your W's? Why? Because you're so wide it takes over every other

0:42:18
spk_4
 

instead of a y y. Next. I have a w and T right. Why? I forget. I'm a feet tall to

0:42:26
spk_0
 

just doesn't look. You don't look that tall. So what? True? It's a weird perspective. You are. Why

0:42:33
spk_4
 

that I am tall

0:42:34
spk_2
 

because we've been moving so fast. I do want everybody

0:42:36
spk_0
 

home to really picture this 11 feet wide. A Frito

0:42:41
spk_2
 

had touches the

0:42:42
spk_0
 

ceiling. As he said, So does does both sides of his body touch each wall. Already, nobody

0:42:47
spk_5
 

is whiter than they are told. Never, never, never. Not only is he wanted to do so

0:42:54
spk_2
 

by three

0:42:55
spk_5
 

feet wider and his 11 feet wide,

0:42:57
spk_2
 

unless she's taller than any other human.

0:42:59
spk_0
 

But he's also wider than he is told. You say if you're looking at the room we're in right now, we are packed up against one wall about that and he's the rest. It's OK. It's OK. Yeah, I love that you

0:43:12
spk_5
 

come in and you say, I'm the freak. You make everyone feel a little more comfortable. You're

0:43:18
spk_4
 

all right Now you can call me out.

0:43:19
spk_2
 

I want

0:43:20
spk_1
 

to ask you this because I know that there has been a lot of Ah lot of paperwork's been filed with the city with the fire marshal specifically because any room you're in becomes a fire hazard. There's no room that could continue with enough walk space on either

0:43:35
spk_0
 

side. Cut off the majority of every

0:43:37
spk_4
 

exit in 20 minutes to get inside every room. Yeah, because it's like him at all 20

0:43:42
spk_1
 

minutes, like moving a sofa. You gotta figure out which you can go through the right.

0:43:46
spk_0
 

You kind of do come with

0:43:47
spk_4
 

rock and roll movers. My boys. That's my spot. That's your squad Garage? Yeah. Particles rolled over. I

0:43:56
spk_5
 

felt like you. You worked.

0:43:58
spk_2
 

They gotta love that. Right, Rob?

0:44:02
spk_0
 

Guys, look out for the rock and roll movers, many looking out for

0:44:06
spk_5
 

with their many episode featuring the rock and roll movers. But you

0:44:11
spk_0
 

found a nice

0:44:12
spk_5
 

way around it, You know you are. You carry around a fire extinguisher and all your clothes I have to be flame retardant. And that way, the room you're in is no longer a fire,

0:44:23
spk_4
 

has I? Because yes, you

0:44:26
spk_0
 

know, you just clip it right on your belt There. It's easy. You

0:44:29
spk_1
 

can barely see it. Honestly, excusing. I just think

0:44:31
spk_4
 

What you trying to say? I'm

0:44:32
spk_0
 

just saying abuse You? Huh? I'm saying that Ragtime Howard won this thing

0:44:38
spk_4
 

Jail. The scale don't have Teoh.

0:44:42
spk_2
 

Wow. Hey, Drags himself, I think was I was implying. Okay, well, I think the other

0:44:51
spk_0
 

thing I want to talk about obviously your size makes you a standout on campus. But the just I love you. You would think they'd be a little intimidated or not really know what they are I

0:45:04
spk_4
 

closely present Let's not kid ourselves. I closely remember a resemble a totoro. Okay, Uh, very much dio. Very much like a talked around. I don't chase. I'm very furry. So

0:45:17
spk_5
 

I feels like, um what you did you notice a difference in your life Pre and post Miyazaki That's who did totoro, right? Or is it sorry? Like where people's finally saw, like, a cuddly, lovable thing Your size And they're like,

0:45:30
spk_2
 

Oh, this is

0:45:30
spk_4
 

okay to run from town to town because people kept chasing me with pitchforks.

0:45:35
spk_0
 

I could hear it in your

0:45:36
spk_4
 

votes that me like a freak and not in a good way. Right? And then this one came out. This whole movie

0:45:43
spk_3
 

called my neighbor Totoro changed my life

0:45:48
spk_0
 

Representation folks way Want mawr sheets in movies? Way West cetera He's a big, big wide for everything that looks a lot like our

0:46:02
spk_4
 

doing Doctor was a sheet. You think people saw a sheet and was like

0:46:07
spk_2
 

a guy. So I understand how I watched that movie and I saw a big, flat top sheet. I just have not Movies are for me Well, I thought it was about airplane. This year's being a

0:46:20
spk_0
 

big, big top sheets. Now, is that what your shirt ISS is that big

0:46:25
spk_2
 

top shoes? You're sure to top sheets so

0:46:27
spk_0
 

stable together? Yes, That sounds stapled together. They pulled. I don't know how to say

0:46:31
spk_4
 

I haven't figured out how to sew. Really?

0:46:34
spk_5
 

The idea of those hands trying to work with a sewing machine? I mean, it seems frustrating.

0:46:41
spk_4
 

It does seem. Keep breaking them yet.

0:46:43
spk_0
 

Forget here. You can't even finger the need. What does

0:46:46
spk_2
 

not forget? Uh, Howard one when he's out on the town. Hey is looking good when he puts on a fitted sheet.

0:46:57
spk_5
 

Oh, yeah.

0:46:57
spk_2
 

Yes. Absolute. You return some ads. I see you. You're thick.

0:47:03
spk_5
 

Why? Don't want want you

0:47:04
spk_0
 

put on that cheap? Yeah. That elastic grabs in all the right places. May I said you had a

0:47:11
spk_4
 

lot of attention from the women, and it's nice.

0:47:14
spk_5
 

What's the thread count on that thing? Uh, there she what's the thread count too?

0:47:19
spk_2
 

But it goes back and forth, baby backing for a so cio to that means there's two pieces of it. Is that what that means? Our two

0:47:30
spk_0
 

years of the threat, the vertical and the horizontal,

0:47:33
spk_4
 

That's all I'm movin perfectly. That's all I need.

0:47:36
spk_0
 

Well, yeah, because you get

0:47:38
spk_4
 

around, I get around,

0:47:39
spk_2
 

you fuck. I would run bucks later. I

0:47:43
spk_4
 

and I'm sexually intimate yet. Wow. Right? Just I don't just do you don't lose him. You know you have a relationship.

0:47:51
spk_5
 

Yeah, it's And it's a nice connection. I've heard, uh, form with I mean, word gets out. You know, a lot of times when I'm on talking about a lot of times when I'm on a day with a woman in this town, they'll kind of compare the way I am as a negative. So how you are?

0:48:07
spk_0
 

Because you with most of the women in town

0:48:10
spk_4
 

most Yeah, but loving way 78%. Exactly 70

0:48:15
spk_5
 

eight or so. You keep a percentage of it.

0:48:17
spk_4
 

I certainly dio Well, uh, you don't?

0:48:19
spk_5
 

No. Well, I mean, I could zero s I kind of do, but not on

0:48:24
spk_4
 

purpose. Choose er, you go out,

0:48:26
spk_5
 

I go on dates. But, you know, I don't really form. Really? Sure. I rarely seal the deal. Uh, not a closer. No, I'm not a closer, uh, middle I'm not a middle. I'm not a starter. I'm not be league, Not JV. The closest I ever got. I was so close to you on the deal. And then I actually shut my coat into the uber door that drove off and drag me

0:48:50
spk_0
 

with, Read about, drop you off at your house like I'll make a stop on the way, which is already. That's a tough

0:49:00
spk_5
 

one. You know? I need to get my sheepskins. So it was like, Let's go Stop

0:49:04
spk_2
 

sheepskin. You're not allergic to latex. I know.

0:49:08
spk_5
 

I just love the fuel of a sheepskin.

0:49:10
spk_2
 

Oh, that's disgusting, I think.

0:49:14
spk_5
 

Howard Howard one. Thank you

0:49:15
spk_4
 

very well. There's no shame in that.

0:49:17
spk_5
 

Thank you very much.

0:49:18
spk_4
 

Feel good.

0:49:19
spk_0
 

You know what I like

0:49:20
spk_5
 

about your vibe? I'm constantly being shamed by these fuckers. I think it's a shame free zone. It's okay.

0:49:27
spk_0
 

I use a pig an tastic. I go to the deli department, I get this stuff they put in the trash and I ramp it up. I just say, give me Ah! Quarter pound of boars. Head least valuable Saved. Borsa, you have many Children? No, Does not work. That's right. Through that enable Turkey and I don't is delicious. And I know a lot of people say I'll say this. The

0:50:01
spk_1
 

joke about me is not true. I don't use my personality. Why? I don't use my

0:50:06
spk_5
 

post as you're talking to personalities. A condom Does that protects you from ever having sex

0:50:13
spk_0
 

That you have the ultimate protection, a bad personality.

0:50:17
spk_5
 

And obviously, I think we covered earlier. Your Kendall down there,

0:50:21
spk_0
 

you make fully in the stall.

0:50:27
spk_2
 

You spoke. That is a piece of information that will stay. We can't cut that now because

0:50:33
spk_5
 

we referenced it again, Howard. One from

0:50:39
spk_0
 

how you're blowing away string to him. I'm gonna fly you while you're here.

0:50:48
spk_4
 

It's and it's you know, it's quite while

0:50:50
spk_2
 

I true. Then you felt figured out electricity. You helped e I

0:50:57
spk_4
 

didn't know about you. Help figure out electricity. You're the guy Franklin wrote to me.

0:51:04
spk_2
 

Wait. Another 275 year old the room

0:51:07
spk_4
 

found No, no, no, no. We wrote letters. Have you extend your money from the lake house?

0:51:12
spk_0
 

You did a lake house of Ben Franklin. Same lake house every year. Time, right? Each other. What? I love it. What did you have been

0:51:21
spk_5
 

Franklin write letters about?

0:51:22
spk_4
 

We figured out electricity.

0:51:24
spk_2
 

You wrote him and

0:51:25
spk_4
 

told him, and I told them about a peacock a turkey? Not a good idea for a state bird.

0:51:30
spk_5
 

No. And and he was like, Now I'm gonna be remembered for this E remember for a couple things

0:51:36
spk_4
 

and I wrote like I wrote you should you should protect your Penis. Yeah, I heard about you. And you got You got a lot of disease

0:51:45
spk_5
 

here, but you should protect your Penis a little bit.

0:51:49
spk_2
 

You've been reading my

0:51:49
spk_0
 

letters. We heard about your stank as big. Now, the operator that those

0:51:56
spk_1
 

letters actually do exist in the like secret base, one of the Smithsonian. That's true, right? Oh, the secret Smithsonian basement is filled with some crazy shit. You probably know because you're you teach American

0:52:08
spk_4
 

history. You like Americans history. Ben Franklin told everything. You know, everything I know.

0:52:14
spk_5
 

So you teach everything you teach your old class based on your correspondences through the lake house and you didn't just write letters has been Franklin, the lake house. But a lot of historical figures.

0:52:23
spk_4
 

I said they did.

0:52:24
spk_5
 

You had a torrid written romantic affair with Warren G. Harding. Yeah. You

0:52:30
spk_0
 

were famously quiet in your letters to Hitler, right? Like a little bit. Yeah, well,

0:52:36
spk_2
 

little bit soft on him. Not as you're funny, Which is

0:52:41
spk_0
 

a great oratory. You got lost. It wasn't being wholly honest in his letters to you, and he was

0:52:48
spk_4
 

saying that he used the pen name

0:52:49
spk_1
 

was going to say he signs. May h. You don't know you,

0:52:53
spk_2
 

but I read

0:52:54
spk_5
 

some of his letters, and I think you could put two and two together.

0:52:57
spk_2
 

You thought it was out of her, Hamilton. It certainly dead Alan there. This they

0:53:01
spk_4
 

had a similar point of view.

0:53:03
spk_2
 

You

0:53:03
spk_5
 

think Alexander Hamilton was doing bad art on the bottom of his letters on the back Would sign them, kill the Jews?

0:53:09
spk_2
 

Yes, that was a joke. Well, you kill Jews, so that's

0:53:17
spk_0
 

tough, because you feel like you could have You could stop

0:53:20
spk_4
 

something. Maybe I could have, but I didn't know. But it's

0:53:23
spk_0
 

how that movie works. It's a premise. Well, that's but

0:53:26
spk_2
 

that's so that's

0:53:27
spk_1
 

really the eternal question is like if if we change the past, what happens to the present if the Holocaust didn't happen? What would have happened today?

0:53:36
spk_4
 

You want what happened to you? That was No. You know what?

0:53:39
spk_0
 

What many? Howard's that My

0:53:42
spk_4
 

personal? What happened is I would have been a normal size man. Really? The Holocaust never happened.

0:53:49
spk_0
 

Wait. So you chose your big ass body over that

0:53:56
spk_4
 

tall and wide? I am not big. No, I still I'm eight feet tall, 11 feet wide, and I weigh £102.

0:54:08
spk_0
 

Okay, So is it true that maybe you started to call him out? Your body got smaller, So you deduced. I better take it easy on him or I'm gonna lose my thing. Exactly. Wow. Now this.

0:54:23
spk_4
 

Oh, come on. You would have done the same.

0:54:26
spk_2
 

Knew what? Have the same. What did you have wanted? Regular Pregnant. I want song herself

0:54:35
spk_0
 

have done the same. That's are seeing a smart car. Commercials to They didn't want you roll date.

0:54:45
spk_6
 

Hi. Okay, so we're back from lunch. That was great. Salmon. Um, Iraq. I need your salmon. Let me know him in the truck. The cookies. Loud. Too loud. We don't want Alright, guys, Let's pack it up. I think they're done with salmon. Somehow the cook is Mike this room. So I got my balls. It's baseball. The client just wants straight forward. I mean, the widest man in the world. I'm the tallest man in the world and I love my smart. Okay, well, you heard him. So I go, and it will do a quick action on that. And again, um, uh, it says this to say this in the notes based on your audition tape. Um, no singing. Okay, so go ahead and roll camera ruling Sounds, please. Where's that coming from? You hear that? Look. A smart car. Well, what's your name? My name is how word? I'm a big old man. What kind of car? Yeah, you're I've really fat or you go really slow cooling mileage. Can Ugo,

0:56:14
spk_1
 

That's interesting. You sang and it made the man who told you not to sing excited enough to start singing with you. Director,

0:56:23
spk_0
 

it wasn't clear that man waas. Yeah, but that's problem. That's that's not

0:56:28
spk_1
 

as fall it's still again crazy that that was a commercial that ran and that rate in the World

0:56:34
spk_2
 

Series. Well, no way asked for that. You can't me. It's coming

0:56:44
spk_5
 

out of your paycheck. How? Howard? 42. Don't. Please don't, uh you

0:56:49
spk_4
 

mean the burled beer ease.

0:56:51
spk_1
 

Yes, Carol. Beer. Easy.

0:56:52
spk_5
 

Yeah. The world beard. Burled beer

0:56:54
spk_0
 

ease. Did nd a dino's the Danley dup not dass car three. Dingy. Dived under ID the Kindle done. Dental,

0:57:10
spk_5
 

dental done. Dandelion dental. Done.

0:57:19
spk_1
 

Did you just get what did Kendall deny? It? Took me a second to get dental. Did it?

0:57:23
spk_2
 

What's the

0:57:24
spk_0
 

one with the horses? The deepness? The day the Debbie that didn't Ducky dirty thing. Ducky Dirty. The turducken. Dirty, productive, dirty. Well, that's speaking of that, we think giving just passing my two ducat

0:57:42
spk_1
 

turducken was ended up very, very dirty.

0:57:44
spk_0
 

What happened? Fell on the floor? Yes.

0:57:46
spk_4
 

You ate a turducken?

0:57:48
spk_0
 

Yes. I put as many birds

0:57:50
spk_1
 

and other birds as I can and I serve it.

0:57:52
spk_0
 

You have a sparrow in there with that time at Kroger, Your cook designs? I almost did. I was like, Oh, no, no, you chose Bergen's This person's personality. His He has a personality waves on the mic, interviewing um, already laying. Think this bird's pretty good on a podcast.

0:58:11
spk_5
 

So it's not just introduction. It's a spare Attard duck spirit

0:58:16
spk_4
 

How many birds you got in there? I got

0:58:19
spk_0
 

a chicken in the bottom. In the been the stuff chicken in the state. Whoa! It's They have to eat each other for really? I don't stuff them into each other. Chicken is in the stink right way to birds in the think

0:58:34
spk_2
 

Oh, I think que two Deccan is the show. Okay, Thank you. But

0:58:45
spk_0
 

I go to in the pink and one in the stink turkey.

0:58:50
spk_2
 

This is the correct. Okay, so I put two dogs in the turkey's policy. Doc, you're talking. You're to duck in its

0:59:06
spk_0
 

do that that attorney Mr is a two ducat. And then, um and then I just Ah, you can't bet a bunch in the snake capable of Sparrow in the state. Where is that?

0:59:22
spk_2
 

If you were

0:59:23
spk_4
 

coming, where's the duck at?

0:59:24
spk_2
 

Well, there's two dogs in the boozy. I think this is a big turkey tied laugh. Where the detective was the chicken. There's no chicken. I

0:59:39
spk_0
 

was wrong earlier. Now you're one of the favorite teachers on campus. Of course. One of the most knowledgeable history teachers. Of course, because of the first hand nature of your learning. That's what it's caused. A few problems when students had questions that you weren't

0:59:55
spk_4
 

prepared. Teoh. I knew this was gonna come.

0:59:57
spk_0
 

Yeah. You've gotten in trouble for speeding away to the lake house real fast during class, staying for a week or two to write letters.

1:00:06
spk_4
 

The lighthouse is 17 hours. Yeah,

1:00:09
spk_5
 

I want our guy will say, you know, I would forget. We forget some things. You godspeed there. But when was the war of 18? 12 was one. I don't think you needed to street to the lake house to get a letter

1:00:18
spk_4
 

about. I'm still waiting.

1:00:21
spk_2
 

It's like, you know some

1:00:22
spk_0
 

of this stuff. You don't have to be so gunshot. If you're pretty sure I don't think you need

1:00:26
spk_4
 

todo. People get history facts wrong, but assuming there

1:00:30
spk_2
 

is a

1:00:31
spk_1
 

textbook, we pay for a text player. Your course has a textbook using where the where it's in the classroom. The bookshelf

1:00:38
spk_4
 

below the you know I can't reach that look.

1:00:40
spk_1
 

Well, you

1:00:41
spk_2
 

could have

1:00:41
spk_1
 

a student. We have. You have small. That's

1:00:43
spk_5
 

a that's a form of eraser. Right? Is they put the put things just a you can't get

1:00:49
spk_0
 

because you fold sideways, not up and down, You fold in it. You

1:00:53
spk_5
 

fall down on the fourth side to side

1:00:55
spk_4
 

and out the folded and make a buck. Yeah.

1:00:58
spk_5
 

Can I say something while we're talking about the way you fold? And I want to get this on the air right now. Yes, Howard. Chico is not meant to be used for that little game where you fold up a piece of

1:01:09
spk_4
 

Please don't write out of meeting

1:01:11
spk_0
 

catcher. It's not accrued, catcher.

1:01:13
spk_2
 

Get right on it. All of it. Out. He's not a coup d

1:01:15
spk_0
 

capture Hot dog. He goes hamburger specifically.

1:01:20
spk_5
 

Yeah, and you can't fold the more than seven times, so stop trying.

1:01:24
spk_4
 

I don't

1:01:24
spk_2
 

know why people try. Yeah, yeah. User faculty to

1:01:28
spk_5
 

Okay, Guilty. I tried to fold you.

1:01:34
spk_0
 

It's fun. It's fun to take you fold you up and figure out what you're gonna marry. What kind of house we're gonna live in. Well, And if you are, if you do it fast enough, you'll start to get wees and sound a little bit like an accordion squeeze box that is sure

1:01:47
spk_4
 

coming out of my mouth. I'll tell you that much.

1:01:49
spk_0
 

Oh, it's a bottle. According my ears years. Pervert. I assumed butthole. I'm so I can you know, Anybody who knows me knows. I assume, but, well, we were just talking about the stink. That's right. That's right.

1:02:06
spk_5
 

I can I ask, Um, are you ever, You know, do you find that I don't want to get too personal, that it's hard to said they that one there is You don't settle down and you do have been with 78% of the women in this town is that you're afraid of getting too close to someone because you're 11 feet wide and eight feet long. That's right. That's exactly that's exactly all right. Well, uh,

1:02:31
spk_4
 

it's stuff. I, um you know, I was called a freak for a long time. Not in a good way. Yeah, and what hurt me the most? And we're a

1:02:41
spk_5
 

little long time just to see you keep government were little, Or

1:02:44
spk_0
 

you could just tell by your

1:02:45
spk_5
 

tone it's about to be long. Keep going to go as long as you want, but, you know, we're a little on the

1:02:49
spk_4
 

a 12. Okay, well, everyone called me freak, but you know a lot of that we're war women that I fell in love with it so that that really hurt me, you know? And so every time I hear freak in a good way, I still am

1:03:04
spk_1
 

triggered and think it's offensive. So that's interesting. Your brain, Your brain is sort of pulling at both ends where you here freak and it feels good cause you've decided it's good. But then you're reminded of the past on one hand, yeah. Oh, you've kind of taken back the word. It's Yeah, honestly, it's like when people call me a virgin. It is. It's the same thing, it's exact. Always meant it the same way. It's never been celebratory. Okay, but part of the way that I have decided to own it. Now, where I look at it as a positive thing, I look at it as a treasure. You call yourself. I have to.

1:03:38
spk_5
 

I feel like you are the worst type of person that listens to Liz. Oh, it's not for you to own your virginity.

1:03:46
spk_1
 

What do you mean?

1:03:47
spk_5
 

You put on Liz. Oh, and you're like, Yeah, now

1:03:49
spk_0
 

I'm empowered, baby. He's saying it, baby.

1:03:53
spk_5
 

It's like That's not for you, man.

1:03:55
spk_1
 

I can choose to hear it. However, I'd like I am 100%. That bitch. Okay,

1:04:01
spk_0
 

I got no dick. It ain't like a huge loser. Okay? We've heard your little recording, by the way, but we've heard it. We are the recording you thought that you recorded alone and nobody could find. Let's play it now.

1:04:24
spk_6
 

Hair clip. Check my nails, baby. I'm a virgin and I'm good at it.

1:04:32
spk_3
 

Stop!

1:04:37
spk_6
 

Uh, hair flip. Hey, now are what is the end of the bathroom, you man pooping? Don't that you move it. But I am. I am now. So I can't talk right now because I'm pooping horses. I think there are horses coming. Get out! Heart it camp. Okay, then you should coming. Oh, English, Your coming power here, Paul Revere, You're alive

1:05:19
spk_1
 

on pause. That's the end. The

1:05:22
spk_2
 

hell is going on. I have a recording of your revere. Now I feel like

1:05:28
spk_5
 

something having with your lake house we brought. Paul refers to the prayers.

1:05:32
spk_4
 

That thing I know

1:05:33
spk_1
 

you have You heard it? It was Howard. It I was I took a trip with Howard to his leg house. That's right. I was taking a dump in this toilet.

1:05:43
spk_0
 

Your Eliza power here came through the

1:05:47
spk_4
 

male body mailed in sound Came back

1:05:50
spk_0
 

to say one of white land by Paul Revere.

1:05:53
spk_2
 

That's all. Yes, all my son brought it back. You're having wine? Store your sunglasses. What? Sunglasses went back in time. So

1:06:03
spk_0
 

he's back in time with the coolest. Let's actually look in

1:06:09
spk_1
 

your history textbook and see if there's a picture of Paul Revere in here. Oh, yeah, I grabbed one. Here we go. Let's

1:06:13
spk_0
 

see. Oh, my God. He looks It's wherein aviators were an aviator. Looks like top. I think it looks a little more like chips. He also looks a little bit like riffraff is a combination.

1:06:29
spk_5
 

It says here we lost the Revolutionary

1:06:31
spk_2
 

War. Oh, I don't feel free anymore. Hold on. My my pockets were filled with pound inmates. I happen here. I know I want I'm soul say, Gee, I'm gonna

1:06:51
spk_1
 

try to say the name of the person who rules our country and I'm and I'm gonna see what comes out of my mouth. I'm just gonna

1:06:56
spk_2
 

thio more. One sort of real accent is taco, but they air it Go. I don't know. Here it is. Okay

1:07:05
spk_1
 

No. I'm going to say

1:07:07
spk_2
 

who runs our country while your second. This guy's faking his accent. And I'm no Kili, you know, from Leeds, you know, probably

1:07:18
spk_4
 

way. I want to One thing. I won't play that commercial again. The smart car commercial three. Why? I like

1:07:30
spk_6
 

Yes, the client is 12 summons on 12 7 If the client small eat me, we're going on my knee. It's my in it. So they just want you to get in on the obviously on the right side of the car and get behind the wheel in court on the right side of the court. Just say I'm the widest tour list, man in the world in it. And I love smart card. All right, you're getting it. We're rattling, All right? You don't need to interrupt me with the free thing politely. Alright. Don't saying all right, Governor Three to keep one. Keeps that British action.

1:08:16
spk_0
 

Wow, It even changed in the commercial. That was

1:08:19
spk_2
 

crazy way. Did we all just

1:08:30
spk_1
 

assume that what happened was we wanted it to be so bad that we're all faking British accents right now to

1:08:36
spk_0
 

make it seem like it actually, mine's real in its canon for

1:08:41
spk_5
 

the rest of our episodes till we figure it's

1:08:44
spk_1
 

going to beat Australia. No

1:08:46
spk_2
 

way. We're off to Australia, where we send our prisoners still. Oh, you Oy! I

1:08:59
spk_1
 

wear. We got a lot

1:09:00
spk_0
 

to figure out, mate. Until next Time Star.

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