The Preachers' Lounge: Like a Conversion with Dusty (Demi Adejuyigbe)

dear Lord, we're gathered here today to give thanks. Yes, and also love and to bask in your glory, Lord. And we just pray that you take care of everyone in the congregation. All of our listeners and my feet. Lord, I'm in. Yeah, Lauren, it's me, Moshe Epstein, Christians for Jesus Church. Um, and I wanna thank you today. I want to thank you today, Um, for everything you did get me in touch with the insurance agency after that fender bender. Um, I got rear ended in a neighborhood. Um, because I was looking for, as you know, I dio I was looking for a, um, yard sales. I go shopping three yard sales on Saturdays, and I thought I saw one, and it turned out it was just Jerrick. But I had realized that too late and got rear ended by a angry old lady who got physical with me and, you know, as a Christian for Jesus, I never would fight anyone, let alone a woman level on an old woman. But this lady tested my patients, Lord and I want to thank you for that test. Amen. Amen. Lord, uh, is may Butch. I just wanted toe. Take a little bit of time here, Teoh. Thank you so much for letting me land on my feet after I lost my position at my last church. Um, and I appreciate you making it so seemingly easy for me to get a job as the hospital chaplain at that bad hospital on for on Fourth Street. Which clarify, Lord, that C h a p l. I am. He's the Charlie Chaplin. It's kind of comic relief from the hospital. You know, he told me I could make it as religious as I'd like. And I said, thank you for the opportunity. By the time I'm done here, I will. I'll be back to being a full preacher. But, Lord, thank you so much. And if you could, uh, allow me not to get any ingrown hairs when I end up shaving my mustache to give myself a little chaplain And also Lord, please let people not call me. Uh, you're already working with the bone structure of the big Man. Big, bad man, if you know what I mean. Lord, please, just gonna look homeless immediately. Like your hand. I just asked lower that you let the satire. Be clear. Let the Santa every clear, Lord, Let me like your routine. Amen. Lord aim shares a lot with the big bad guy. Hey, Lord, it's Quentin Rush from Enterprise Baptist. I just want to thank you for all your gifts that you have given me. And, Lord, I want to hop on this Lindsay's feet. Their request. Thank you, Lord. Someone hurt me because I do feel as if my health is in compromise from my simple proximity to his feet. Because they have something. It's unclear what it is, but it feels like a new thing that could be the end of our species.

Lord, this is the worst athletes foot that I've ever had. It is airborne.

The does is much more painful than athletes Foot. And you got the doctors air calling it tuberculosis foot tuberculosis foot. Well, they

wanted to call

it athletes foot, but they took a look at your jump shot. They said it just won't dio calling it tuberculosis. And I played it. Lord, please call me an athlete. Your foot got sick on a plate, so we think it was maybe tuberculosis stuff this way. Style in 2002 hunched over the loss of one long hurting bad bloody napkin and hand bloody napkin in hand from the cough. And,

Lord, I also want to thank you for the

Giga Church, my new church in rural Utah that is over 75 million square feet. Almost local state Lord is larger than the Grand Canyon Lord, it is biggest building in our Milky Way way. Think you think what we think?

We haven't been every planet Lord, and we don't want to

just respect your Lord. If there's a bigger and bigger building on the planet, you know, give us, Give us. Oh, you just got

started by watch hole lost right on the tip of

the nose. That's to get a lot of people say that was a sign now, but now he'll Lindsay's feet. Please. Please, please.

These lower way here, please. Lord, I have to

be on bended knee because I could not put any pressure pressure on the soles of my feet. You can I cannot put pressure on the soles of my feet or else puss comes out the side. Lord, if we could please

do not let that old lady that rear ended moisture. Find out where we're recording because she is still

hot on his

tail. Yeah, they become a bit of a horror movie for May. She is, uh, rear ending me everywhere shopping

cart at the farms, but put my butt in the But she gave you a flat tire in the crosswalk. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm in high school. So, Lord, please make sure that old woman grits rear ending me. Butch. Of course, putting the classic Charlie Chaplin armband satire. Well, Lord, thank you very much. And we hope you hear our prayers.

Way, Way. How sweet. Wait, wait. Please, Lord, please, please. I'm lie. My feet are ride. Uh oh.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a, uh, another episode of the Preacher's Lounge. At one point in time, this was the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the religious community surrounding Hamilton High School area. Ah, and now it's the same thing until now.

And I always had some rip off Podd case come out. Yeah, casts that kind of trying to do preachers in the community ripping us off. But we're the only ones that are authentic and get you a real window into what it's like to be religious in 2019.

We, of course, had the pastor's path come out his competition. Yes, Uh, no offense, but it isn't cutting. The mustard

had also the preachers den, which is, I mean, pretty direct rip off report. Big Rip Priests van,

which was weird, very weird. Very weird people because

they have a bad a PR problem already. They added the van, and that's what

that is. Is a PR issue that

they fix. Hey, so I

don't know who's on their PR, but we got to get that fixed because it

was the actions. It's always publicity's Publicity is lies.

Well, it's a schrodinger's cat if you don't know it. Did it happen? Right, You know,

now it

was Schrodinger litter box food out in the kitchen when food consider cat. That's where that name comes for. A Schrodinger had all the fixings of the cat scratching post house smelled like pants.

Oh, sure, Shorter wasn't scratching that post himself.

I think it's possible. I mean, whether or

not the cats in the place, that guy's a cat guy. Yeah, so you know, I don't know, absolutely. Uh,

one day I walked into Chaudhry's house, I saw him just laying on the ground in the sun spot, sun shining through the window. Name Schroedinger was the camp.

Maybe the apostrophe should have been a comma.

Yeah, Schrodinger. Yeah, I want the last time I hung out

with Schrodinger. He was real nice to me. Like we were having a nice little chat. We're just sitting around, having a having a nice little snack at nowhere, flips out, slaps me across the face with his claws. That

what kind of snack where you have enough

hot way were eating it? They're

sharing a bowl of milk the other

day and have a conversation. I was like, I didn't leave full,

and he seemed to be very full.

Oh, wow. Then and for him,

he was licking his chops, saying, This is all I need.

Loved it. You know? The craziest thing is, Schrodinger has actually been legally dead eight times.

Maybe I was I was I was

working on I was working on my memoirs and short Schroeder bruise at my house and he kept walking all over my computer. He took a nap on my keyboard.

I was going out of town last weekend. I was going out of town. I put my suitcase out shorter gets all pissed off. He knows I'm leaving. He pissed him a suitcase.

Did you get him a Schrodinger

center? No. Uh, I

think he'll be fine. I fill up the bowl with him. He didn't kind of budget it. Adam said

you gotta have somebody come by and check after him. Well,

I guess I I think

that Trojan just can't question. I mean, that's relevant to this whole podcast, cause that's the Lord, you know. Yes, sir. Is the Lord there? Do we have to see him or her or they for them to be there,

That honestly is very relevant. Aziz, you heard in the prayer? Of course I'm bushed, Davison. I just did get a new job. Aziz, the hospital chaplain. Uh, and I think that this actually is a perfect example of not seeing the Lord work, but Lord working, Okay. I fell on hard times. Okay. Way all know what happened? Why, of course. Wife kids run off on me, got fired from the church. We won't talk about why I got fired, because it's irrelevant to this moment. Please don't bring it up. And then, you know, just six short months later, after being unemployed, no income for six months, living out of my truck, I got a job at the bad hospital. That's right. On Fourth Street as the chaplain. And I mean, what better what better situation could arise?

Well, they just had fired the Keaton Muster Keating of the hospital fired, so they needed a new classic comedian. Yeah,

I use the amazing better. You're on your deathbed. You're about to go. And we all know if you haven't had a laugh right before you died, you've got a hell. Yeah. And we also know that laughter's the best medicine. Has your patch comedy healed anybody in the hospital yet? Would you say?

Well, I'll say this. My comedy has put people out of their misery.

That's beautiful. How sort of ah, hospice.

I'm pulling up the death rate here at the hospital and it is spiked about in the past, but is a cold. Yes. People, people dying. And you're on the physical injury. You're on the flu shot wing? Yes, the whole

wing. They gave me that wing. They say that's where people sort of start. Uh, and yes, the death rate has skyrocketed since I started at this hospital.

So healthy people coming in to

get a preemptive shot are dying

and you say they start in the flu wing. Is this the hospital where they sort of shell for you between every unit?

Yeah. You started starting the flu ing. You move on Teoh Physical Wing from physical wing. You'll if they find anything in your physical, they'll put you into another wing. You'll go into the respiratory issues wing the the but wait, colon cancer. You know,

they don't want They don't want to say all the rial, harsh stuff

going cancer finger and the tutor. It's stuff like, yeah, so but hard. Somebody passed away from, Ah, skit. Roller skating off of a balcony. Yeah, yeah,

some of your bits are putting other people in the rollers.

It's yes, it's it's It's sort of teaching them a new fund scale. It's them sort of participate. It's participatory. Why don't to go? Yeah, yeah, And so I was doing my

toe. I would like to go. I

have my roller skate routine and which is one of Chaplin's route right, chap sampling routine that that I ate

literally escaped snowboarding routine. Now, you know what? He's on the balcony. It is an optical illusion. Yes. Yeah, I know. Is that him?

Huh? I don't know. I think it's him, But I'm not sure. Okay? And

you did eat the whole thing. There's the one where he eats his shoe, Right? You did that whole bit and people had to sit and watch you eat a whole shoe for an hour. He slurped up the spaghetti, and then you couldn't think of other things A shoe is like with eating here. Like maybe clams. What? You're supposed to be quiet.

Yeah. And usually expect your routines air.

You eventually talking and trying to explain the premise.

for a silent performer. Well, I start out if they don't get it. If they don't get it quickly, then I sort of give him a little bit of context. It's like it's like I'm Yeah, I'm gonna eat to shoot. I don't like you don't realize when I start cutting into the toe, they don't realize I'm gonna eat it. So I think this you and then they say Oh, okay. Okay, okay. I mean, yeah, you know, it's it's It's been six months, though. That's Lord Lord didn't get to you that quick. Well, living in your truck for six months, it was a test. It was a trial, right? He said, I'm going through everything bad that could ever possibly happen to you at the same time. Your wife, your kids, they're gonna be gone. They're not gonna tell you the address where they move to. They're going. Teoh, steal your license plate from your car. So you're probably get stopped by the cops. Pull over? Probably. Yeah. Yes,

You talk a lot

nothing but the grace of God right there.

Exactly. It was a test, and now I'm stronger for it. I mean, look at me. Have I ever looked more happy? Yeah. Okay,

so you used to look pretty happy. Now you got that little mustache on If it makes you look angry, Okay. So are you happy?

I think I am. I tell myself, I'm happy

through God's grace. You have made the best of a bad situation. And I think that what I have learned is you don't need good life. Circumstances toe have the grace of the Lord to bring happiness through. I'm looking you your £100 underway, You got a Hitler moustache. You're living out of a truck which, by the way, if you guys are imagine like a like a tundra in F 1 50 This is a dot soon you This is a small truck he's looking.

You look like, honestly,

an actor trying to win an

Oscar like you have just a tough X t. I mean, I think you're

about to given unbelievable performance. I think in 40 years Shalem is going to do a good you You know what I mean PP. It's gonna break and they're gonna wheel you out at the Oscars and you're gonna try to say something and no one can hear you. But you're gonna standing over

you all out of your chair and get a standing o because they think he meant Teoh.

I'll tell you this. If if what I contribute to this world is inspiration for amazing art, then ah, you know, I'll say it's a life well lived. Ah, and if they will change a lot of the specifics

of your life to make it more palatable for an audience

you're sad, I think, just do the actual life

now. I think that's all about perspective, guys. That's what I love to hear. Yeah, it's all about perspective. You could say my life is sad. You could also say my life is challenging with a positive outcome and that's how I choose to look at it in life isn't over yet is what I say I still got

That's a big Sermanni.

Sometimes I hear you said, and it's kind of a little more down. It's like disappointed like life isn't over yet

again. That's a perspective issue. Yes, sometimes I say it In the end, the tears are flowing and you know it does come out a little bit more sour. But in this moment I'm choosing to have a positive outlook because, honestly, I feel like I'm making positive change in the world, even though I'm making negative change on the life span of many people in town.

Melts really great, Quinton, you've got all the land in Utah, and part of what came with that land is where the government stores its nuclear waste. Have you decided what you're gonna do with the nuclear Waste Mountain? Because There was a lot of questions about that.

Well, you know, I'm obsessed with terrible. So for may I mean, like, the land was obviously cheap because of all the waste out there. Um, but the nuclear Waste mountain. I have been going atop it to sort of gives a sermon on the sermon on the Mount. Um, and I don't know if you guys can still or see Okay, but I'm some mutations ahead. I'll say this when there was a

time. We're used to give a sermon wearing those big hole cans, the big green, whole

cans left side of my back. Say

the gloves aren't necessary anymore.

You get what? Mutations. Very big

hand. So you guys So Okay. Yes. So you noticed that green skin green green skin are angry about pretty much 1 to 1. This character

you guys know from the

movies, um, voiced by that man. What's his name from movies? Markgraaff, Lark. Revel.

Oh, that man. Yes. You've been given this those radioactive sermons? Yes. And you've gotten a little bit of a following of, like, freaks and people who want to be superheroes. And

yes, yes. Ah, lot of people, I mean, they're calling it the new comic con of kind of a fucked up comic con. It's less people. Watch your mouth. Hey. Oh, no. I cuss now. I'm bringing in. You gotta cuss now If you're a modern pastor, Yeah, it just shows language that you don't You don't care too much and you can trick him because I do pour nos I do drugs. I got a sleeve tattoo. Um, I wear shores when I preach the most egregious sin of all really, really heightened. Perfectly. They're all that and then short. Uh, but yes. So I have a lot of people who, you know you would see at a comic con who

were dressing up like the superhero are dressing up like a cartoon character.

That's really them. Yeah, there's pit as a hole. Simpson Saul family, Their yellow big alone head, its eyes Poppy eyes out. There's something

interesting about what you're preaching and what's at the mountain is People can kind of come in their brains what they want to look like. And it feels like your sermons in the mountain together make him look like that. Like that came. It was like, make me the Simpsons,

and it kind of happened.

There is an element of and I don't know what the radioactive isotope But what I say happens. Yeah, you know, people I you wanna be You want to be, uh, Gator major man, you get around Lab Street and I spoke Gator man,

you're live streaming, of course, Make a little

hip. Young.

Yeah. I live on Twitch Twitch and your gaming now, Yeah. Game. I play settlers of Met Lamb on Sadler's And, uh, yeah, I gave my game. I make a good

bit of cash game, and

but I made a gay man the other day. That was cool. That was pretty cool. You know, I

seen him because now he lives in one of the water features at the golf course.

Right. Let Lindsay. Last time we had spoke, your church had become ah, more of a golf course and kind of like there was still a church on the premises.

But it was

one of the hazards. Yes, and I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of our little church. Just like Jesus intended. It ain't about the building being big. It's about the heart being present you know, but it's also about the LG LPGA Tour that's coming through. Our golf course is really nice. We've put millions of dollars into it and the ladies tour is coming, and we're very proud of that. OK, yeah, that's great. It is great. All the ladies and there's also

And you were gunning for this, right? You you really were like, Let's get these guys out of here.

Let's get these guys. Let's have it be all the ladies. I went to the other course where the that we were competing with to get it right on a sabotage the greens.

Not the problem. The Browns now do de do all over. I do know that you just killed the grass, but that's where I'm tired. Both.

Yeah, you know. You know how if a dog pees on along, it dies? Yeah, I have that. I have that. Where if I pee or poop on along its day it now, I think it's tied to the tuberculosis foot. I'm not sure. Oh, well PG a lady's tour coming through also, you don't have to qualify if you're a lady and you like golf, boom, you're in. So come on down to dogleg Methodist. We're having a shortest drive competition. Shortest. Shortest drive. It has to be a full swing and full connection, but short of strive wins.

That's a lot of control that requires a lot of power in a lot of

That's, like, kind of the ultimate, uh, fade shot. Yes. Yeah, we wanted the horror of your strength, but as

hard as you can, right or left, right, for short distance. But maximum

contact does a boomerang style shot working and comes back to you.

Absolutely. You better not Topspin or bottom spin on that ball and it comes back. If you hit me in the forehead while I'm standing next to you, I

give you a dollar.

Wow. Yeah, the lady

golfers, This is an opportunity you can't pass up doglegs Methodist Golf Course slash church. Come by. Try to hit Lindsay in the head

and I

hope you pray. I hope you pray as well. I'm I'm also the pro, the golf pro and the prey pro

says I took a club sandwich communion from you, and I thought that was a really delicious Uh, you guys make a great club there. Oh, thank you using the the Jesus cracker for community.

It's a small club sandwich, but it's got all the layers in the blood of crisis. Of course. A small igloo cooler with six Miller lights in it. That's right. Absolutely, Absolutely. We like

to have fun out on the course, but also pray at the same time. You got to get a little loose to really feel the Lord

in you. And now you're Ah, the sermon at your service last week you just read Tiger Woods is scorecard from the Masters last

year. Yeah, I had my red share down. It was a Sunday like Tiger always does. He wears red on Sunday. So do I. So does Lindsay. And yeah, we read Tigers book and a lot of people were saying, Where's the prayer? Where's the When does it get religious? You know, And I said this You find your you find God in your work.

God is in everything. God, God is in g o d LF go and I showed up for ah VJ Singh baptizing people I really like that

b j has been instrumental over at the course has been a beautiful, beautiful bishop for

us. That's really great, because I know there was a little bit of a disaster with the John Daly baptism.

Well, let's just say let's just say he was dunking him a little hard. He was doing a little hard.

The water got low blood. Ian, it's, um, people's nose hit the bottom of the little Jacuzzi way using outdoor Jacuzzi. It's built in because we have a big, big parish, you know,

also typically with a baptism. You put people in back first, but he

kind of things right now. These are the daily bath. Yeah,

yeah, he goes face first and he says, I don't know why he says Is your nose has to touch the

bottom. That's what I said. Kiss the devil goodbye. That's what he's saying. I couldn't hear I'm far away. I really I really responded

to your sermon titled Jesus Didn't wear a robe. He wore a green

jacket. Yes, that's right. I really like that one. Yes. What? Everybody

thinks we get it. We've seen the old cloth, the homespun robe? I don't think so. I think he wore a beautifully structured, oversized green

jacket because X squared green, big

square green jacket fits anybody but fits. Jesus. And he was given

the green jacket in the, uh, the lobby of, Like, what? Looks like a cheap hotel. That's right. With with a bad

fire in it. That's right. That's right. Well, if you if you actually go into the tomb where arrested, it's just a cheap hotel, Right, Brian? That's where they did

your I love Given. I love giving,

um, tithing at your church because you'll throw in a

Phil Mickelson. Yeah, that's all you dio I'll do five or 10. Jack. Nicolas is It's always didn't denominations of five cents, which I feel like you should maybe come up with, like, ah pun on a dollar. Oh, are like like a Freddie couple of dollars. Okay,

maybe something about Jose Maria Afable? Yes, all the dollar. El adala whole a dollar. It was a whole a dollar. A love. Yeah, Okay. That's about all the golf knowledge

I have. So, Moshe abstain. Your family's been in the news.

Yeah, yeah, we've been in the

news, uh, way

all know what we're talking about here?

Yeah, I guess. I mean, you can It may be or it may not be what we're thinking. This is your new, so I don't want to split. But I really class for years

ago, years ago I disavowed my brother, just Jeffrey Epstein. I disavowed Mark because the guy was I mean, this was even before I knew about the sex trafficking, which is unconscionable. But he was hanging out with all the weirdest rich gods.

You know, saying at home it was like, You wanna hang

out with me and Bill Clinton and Trump where I was like,

I don't think so, man, that sounds pretty bad. It even possible any

of you have a good time And the right, like, even is the only

thing you have in common sex slaves. Or what do you talk

about? Uh, because it's just like it's almost the biggest evidence, right that they were that they were, yes, doing some pretty bad stuff together because not like they like each other.

Like the If there was a trial, all you have to do is just show up of just show one photo. Yes, as the other lawyer like this is them hanging out. Three of

those guys all standing back to back, looking at their watches going wins the good part. I was

the prosecution for the trial because I made me so sick that my family member could do this stuff. And my whole case was just going to be to show a photo of my cousin Jeffrey Epstein and just say, Come on and everybody be like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, He looks like it. And so did the people in his life. But anyway, um, yeah, there's a lot of theories and I will say a Zafar A Things go. I did not kill myself. I'm here. Uh, there is a lot of news about me killing myself

because everybody shared Epstein didn't kill himself. And you're going? Yeah, Yeah, me neither. Steel. Yeah. People were more surprised that you hadn't killed yourself. That's right.

That's right. I was getting ah, lot of flowers in the mail. Um, uh,

that's interesting. People sending flowers to a person they think killed themselves.

That's right. I think they were like, kind of like it's kind of like the equivalent of dancing on someone's grave Send flowers to someone to kill themselves. Almost is an insult. And all the flowers was like I knew you would like you can't see these

that pre ordered 100 flowers. They'd order that way year early. Why's everybody

proverbially dancing on your grave? Because

you're just a Christian for Jesus.

The Jewish community is pretty mad at me. Aziz, You all know I became a Christian for Jesus because my Jewish wife said I was too Jewish. Uh, and so, ah, lot of you know, as I started doing that, I started kind of preaching for Jesus and for Christianity and, of course, anti Judaism. And so the Jewish community just wasn't having that, you know, And a big thing happened where I started trying to run my own Hollywood. Uh, because I was like, Well, Hollywood doesn't represent Christianity very well, right? You notice there's a lot of Jewish characters in the movies, but there's not a lot of talk about a Christian God. So I started making you guys saw my Christian movies. Uh uh, you know, and I thought they had a really

Christ Air. Christ there. It's kind of a play on Konare, but it's all Christians on the plane. That's all Mass ended. Furious,

massing serious? Yeah, um, a

lot of

people think I start with the title, but I tell the full

story. And then I go, Oh, there is a perfect title for this of

a movie that's similar if is exactly

like you start with the title

master. Furious Mass and Furious is about family more than anything else and Christ Air. I mean, that's just ah, bunch of Christians get on a plane and it lands. Uh, very boring story. Actually, that's the most interesting story of all to me. Um uh, Christian face off.

It's

taken off the mass. The devil wants you to wear and be your true Christian cell.

That's right. That's right. And so literally a man doesn't face off with the devil. They switch faces, the guy becomes the devil and goes to hell. And the devil becomes the guy for a while.

You, of course, made Christ in 60 seconds.

Crisis. 60 seconds on. We got Nick Cage for that one. Was

movie, or is that one of those like sort of top down, tasty videos where you made Christ 60

that a

if you looked, It's just my hands trying to make Christ, and it is heavily edited because it took me a lot of takes of it. I mean,

you just sort of

end up with a rash dish. Yeah. Yeah, just sort of rest. It's more rice. It was rice in three hours is what it actually Waas

Uh, did you, um you kind of dipped

into comedy. But you did like a parody. The Passion of the

Jesus In The Passion of the Jesus. Yeah, that was my comedy. It was already brothers very straight up about

Christ. And you made a little more about

crying. It's like he said sort of Wayans brothers style. Super

Christ it up on DSO Yeah, there's a bunch of funny stuff in it when they're nailing him to the cross, you know, instead of nails, uh, you screws with it with a drill? Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty funny. NASCAR coming Pretty funny. Trust connection. It's just kind of like taking things a little further, right? It wasn't strong enough to

get the big stone off of his

tomb, so he never stayed in there for five days.

Yeah, he had to do push ups. Um, obviously, the clubs were at the last supper. Clubs were the last 11 where the last supper is the whole her kill. You see, man. So but I feel comfortable with what I'm doing. I think you know, I was born to Jewish people. I still love the Jews because they were made in the eyes of God. But I'm a Christian for Jesus. And that's what we preach at my church. That's the movies we make on day. That's what I'm the most proud off.

That's great, you know? Well, yeah, that's Ah, that's

kind of what's going

on with us. Uh, we're gonna take a quick little break here. Uh, but we'll be back real shortly.

I encourage everyone at home to go ahead and pray on this break prey on what you thought about the first half hour of this said and what you'd like the next 30 to be. And that's what we'll did, too.

All right, folks, we're back from break here. Took a moment, toe prey on things, and we decided what direction we're gonna go in this segment. And honestly, it works out really nice. You know, every now and then on the show, we like to do a segment where we bring in them. Well, hey, i'll be blunt we bring in the center, and we, uh we try to make them, but a believer

I like to see you try harder.

Okay, well, this is the way we like to call, Like, a conversion. It's kind of a play on the old Madonna thing, who was also a center. That's right. Until she was converted. Yeah, she found she did found religion. But our guest on Buddhism. Kabbalah, Kabbala? Uh, yeah, our guests. You've heard his voice already? Uh, any. You know, obviously sort of brought in a little bit of an attitude. And we're gonna

be Oh, he's eaten an apple with a knife. Classic frat

boy comedy. An apple with a fork or something, you know is just Teoh. Yeah. I like to keep my teeth clean.

You're really making love to that apple with a knife. Shave it all tender heart. The thinnest pieces that are actually flopping. They're so dead.

I don't believe in, you know, the greed of eating the whole apple. Just a full bore. I want to take little pieces of its

kind of cartoony splitting

a bean style over

here, Dennis the menace.

doing the wrong voice. I'm gonna change it. Area. There's the war,

I've been

all right, I guess today is Ah, center named Dusty.

That's right. No relation. Teoh. Dusty Springfield

is your last name? Springfield.

It is not

way. Would never think you were related.

Teoh. I believe it's a woman e. I actually don't know you. You just say there's

Dusty Springfield's in Stacy's mom

no runs away a new band of relatively move

away older, way like ST fielded of maybe five,

that is bowling for So you guys, you got your churches and they're you know, they're good music.

Dusty Springfield like a virgin.

Okay, well, no, that's that. Now we're back around dawn,

that Madonna song we're referencing with

your saying churches. The reason we don't know this dust is probably also that's see, that's this is ah, Big Miss no more about church. Now we number. We all got to talkin with There's no more Well, we all know Miss number. And if you want to donate to her go fund, may we do think that she will be coming out of that coma soon? Uh,

doctors aren't so sure, but we think, but she will be

coming. So now you think you know better than a doctor

while you know what prayer has healed more than medical science. Sometimes I do not believe that. Okay, well, take Lindsay's tuberculosis feet. Oh,

yeah, tuberculosis feet, tuberculosis foot on both feet. That's why we call it

Fahey. The doctors, It's technically athletes foot.

But the doctors took a look at his jump shot and decided they couldn't legally call hit athletes because they jump shot was so bad. So they they would. They went. They call it tuberculosis.

Yeah, there is no way they can treat it. They say Tough act in 10. Acting isn't working right and then be also the antibiotic version of it isn't working. So they told me to pray on, and that's what we've been doing. And there's been a little bit less scab.

It's true. And what the tough act enacted, John Madden wouldn't let you use it cause you're not an athlete. That's right. He saw you using it and he took it away from him.

He tackled

me and you get yes. Did

you jump shot John, man, that's probably why I thought you were in that. I

think you keep your job shot a little more privately.

I'll show my jump shot to anybody who wants to see it.

Come on down the jump shot. Dusty, arguing athlete, before you

see em in a

Okay, Curl. Oh, wow. Canadian. Well, yeah. Let's coral up this piece of paper in. Just jump. Shoot it into the trash.

Okay, here we go. And 1234

Wow, that was closer to a backflip. In a

way. Thank you. Bag and the ball of paper just lightly dropped to the floor. Wasn't even flowing Anyone. Five grab

way. Wanted to see my jump shot. And you're seen

Dick. Now does. You know, we We, uh we don't

like to have this sort of contentious dynamic on the show. That's not what the show's about. We're here to have a conversation with you to try to sort of gently guide you towards the

Lord. Yeah. We don't want to have an argument. We just want to talk to you until you're convinced of our opinion.

Well, I'll just tell you right now, boys, I don't believe in all this agua.

Well, Dusty, what's your family? Religious background. Did you grow up religious? And that's what you're kind of ah, rebelling, rebelling

against, you know, I grew, you know, I still fully fall in line with how my parents taught me, which is as a kid. They were like, Look, there's a man in the sky But that man is the devil. You were

taught reverse religiously. It's just switched up. So you believe in Jesus?

You just think he's in head? No, no,

no, no, I believe. Okay, I believe. Hails up in the sky. Heavens, down on the ground. Everything else is pretty much the same

thing is gonna be the Oh, I think he is a believer. Let's rate Levi's trillions. I think that's the in a lot of

ways, I could see where this would come from because, you know, when people die, they get buried in the ground. So you think where they're going to heaven, they're buried in the ground.

Correct. Well, I also heard a rumor that your parents were just upside down.

You heard a lie. All right. My parents been right side up their whole damn well Okay. Sorry. Room. Don't be. Don't be bringing me into your house of worship. I

have heard that your family were circus performers who did a lot of sort of trap easy

with a rumor that is correct.

So they were, in a certain sense, upside down part of their life.

Every family's upside down, in a certain sense. Okay, you got You got your sort of ups and downs of the family life. You got the trapeze artists and the cat lion taming its and what not you got.

Do you think every family and we're

going to go into a deeper metaphor? But they came to pretty literal that I have your tears upside. I had never once spoken Metaphor. You

got your cannons from which all the sinners were shot into the sky. Uh huh. And what not

So you know, your your mom was very famous trapeze

artist and Grand Urinal de Soleil

from Sir Sir Crum's of circus officers. But your dad was just a kind

of ah ah, strongman who that who kind of with the elephants would, like, just stand on his

back, just like he functioned. Is that little table? The elephants? Well,

he was an auditor, betray. He just happened to be strong, helped out a lot of the family and

you seem physically to kind of be the perfect amount of both your incredibly strong. But you do move very lively.

All the strength is up top. So it's kind of like, you know, when I take off, it's It takes a little bit of time from a little legs

to reach the right. You you do have really thin legs in those little tiny stirrup pants little wrap around the bottom of the foot,

the opposite of hammer pants.

It's what I call them. Hey there, written on it. That's really

yes, Well, teach his own, Uh, you say Hammer, I say Vanilla

theme. The two choice. Yeah, well, uh, I do think

I mean, you seem easily convinced, Quinton, but I think that's almost upsetting to me. To think that Jesus would be underground, all dirty and by the hot core of one earth

that for the devil will

hold on. Why would the devil be by the hot corner? Earth devil can make his own. He you know, he snaps his fingers and he's got fire on those those

God can make it to God can make it to

Well, I've never seen him do

it. OK, Well, What about the sun?

Yeah. And what

about the sun? The sun's in the sky, which is hot and which is where

The list. Oh, damn it. You're not gonna shake our faith. You? No, no, no, no. God is on Kyle Todd Scars about devil, dirty, dirty low cloud. I

think the devil took all the dirt with him up to the scag.

You your son of a bitch? So, what do you think? When you if you go to

heaven, that means that you used to your old grandma underground, all filthy or covered in

worms? Well, there's no worms. It's like a It's like a party. You know? There's like, a little you seen that movie? Us? Yeah, way down in the escalator is other people. That's how that's heaven that you took away from us was down there. Well, I only saw the ending. I didn't see all the hours or so leading up to it, but I saw them go down there and I saw a lady and another lady was like, Yep, that's two. That's two ladies that's having perfectly aligns with everything I've been taught in my life

that it's underground through an elevator and there's two ladies

and they're the same later. Okay, Yes.

My question is, why do you like being a sinner so much? We've seen me out on the street littering. We've seen you take a sharp drown on a wall most of dude

Arana me is about

literally where absolutely I don't believe in do Deuteronomy. So I don't know what to tell you. I had my Bible says second litter ever. I won't if I draw on the wall. That's perfectly fine.

Your Bible Mad magazine? No, it's your Bible. He has written this very pro literal Bible that he's been

saying around town lied and write this all right. It might have my name on it, but it's again no relation. All right?

You and your followers are constantly just hanging around

the dump. You love trash.

Oh, yeah, cause trash comes from heaven down below. I don't know. What are you? Oh, you love rain from

the sky. Oh, yeah, Rain is just God's love coming down. Yes, it is.

I think rain is the devil pissing on Theo. I'm not trying to shake afraid. I'm just trying to ah spout mind

if that were true, then I think rain would be hot. And normally rain is cold.

That's normally yes, poof explained cold rain that

was been drinking old water. Hang on

that. Make that. You can't just making less sense, right?

Not let No, no. What do you think about Noah's? Are What do you think? Noah got rid of the animals?

What? No, I believe that Noah kept all the animals.

Oh, so that's pretty dead Toyota Kurono instead of a bone, Correct? No. If the opposite of a boat is a car, that's correct. Shit.

It sounds like your Bibles. The one that's all upside down. No, no,

no. Our Bible has normal stuff in it. And we like

our Bible has been right both times. So your 1st 1 and the

rewrite both testaments. So you're telling me there was room it in.

There was not only was there room at the end, it was it was a Hilton Garden suites, and there

was the opposite of it. And that was right on the

plenty of room. No. Plenty of

why did Jesus and Mary and Joseph get put into a broom with animals

because they were arguing about the Continental breakfast and how it was supposed to start at eight. And it was starting at seven. How they showed up late and didn't get any the waffles. And you're gonna If you're gonna keep arguing about this, we're gonna put you in the damn animal room.

I went to your live Nativity scenes and it was heavy minibar themes. A lot of conversation about it. Let's let's don't drink out the many bar, right? That's too expensive. Yes,

as is the Lord's way.

Okay, And then you're like, Let's reuse the towels if you put the title back up on the rack

because if you put the tail down on the ground, well, that's That's God's town that's on the ground. I

flip through your Bible here, and there's about 40 pages of just hotel talk different, like, did you

get to the part where it says you can't take the tea bags out of the room way they do charge you?

Oh yeah, it's the third and current correct Third Amendment is, they charge you. That's

a lot like the Constitution in

my in my religion, you know, there is no separation of church and state, just one thing we call it change or

starch. Either one

I'll take. You know, we ain't picky. We're very open and accepting my religion.

Now. You took the liberty to write liberty this whole new Bible again. I did

not write it. Okay, well, relation.

But what about the dusty Bible parentheses? No relation. What about the people behind the right? No relation on

his Bible. Look, that's that's part of the religion. You know, we just want to establish that there is no relation between all of the dusty's.

Sorry I was interrupted. I

was just going to say what? What about the sort of the Bible that we have? The 10 Commandments are without fail. Always going to be the best ways to live your life.

What is the best and

commandments you have a problem with not coveting thy neighbor?

I don't have any problem not coming on, neighbor. I just I want to you know, I gotta ask you these neighbors are if I'm gonna not cover them, you know? OK, but it's circumstantial. It is living next to a guy. He's got, like, a really cool pool. I can't cover that. I can't cover that very good pool.

So you go in my ox on the way in here.

Well, you got a great ox, and I don't I'm two doors down from Use your on

Hillary court, My auxiliary court. I had a tied up outside, and I saw you looking at What is that? A 10 foot auxiliary, 10 foot people taking place. That

is for the big truck goes all the way back. Extended cab was 3.5 millimeters. Oh, yeah,

I only got 1/4 inch. It doesnt do nothing, cause ain't no iPods and nothing. Uh huh. That's why

we're gonna start talking about dick sizes in here way about auxiliary cables now. Oh, I mean, never mind your 3.5 millimeters. You thought he was bragging about his Pierre says No, no, no, I'm sorry about auxiliary. Gordon E was about to say minds. Five millimeter by millimeter, heart. Okay.

You know, I think Mr Length of most, uh, neither.

We're talking volume density. Yeah, full stats on this cord.

No, we talk

about my dicks and almost size, right. All right, we'll move on.

Let's move on now.

But not to keep going down. This sort of commandments train. But there just seems to be so many things in the commandments that that would make make it obvious that it's the right way to live. Your life now shall not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not, uh, take the Lord's name in vain. It just seems like these air. Great sort of fraud.

You gotta Jesus. There you got a tattoo that says Jesus stinks.

Yeah, ground He's in the ground where it's all dirty And you we say it is a lovely thing

You watch

your mouth

about you is not like the things you are saying But, boy, is it convincing Sorry.

Effects effects are you know, they aren't always great to hear But they are always true.

I agree. Every time someone hits me with a fact, I get so frustrated that I'm immediately wrong and know it But I will never admit

it. Here's a fact for you. You know that their 50 whales left in the world. No Vinci A

total of 50 point. Well,

at least I'm sorry. At least 50

k who shaves a lot of room

Well, also might be less. I don't know what it says

I've got a