I mean, if for me I don't know the words dialed lang sign, but that's the song you sing, right? Old lanes eyes Does it Do

I have I

did a walk of shame this morning in my 2020 glasses. Um, do I have Ah, pretty, uh,

your sunburst

sunbird in the shape of a So, uh, yeah, I

thought you might get 20. You were wearing glasses, but they were 2020 visions. They don't change anything.

I say the shape of those 2020 glasses a little odd. You would think the eyeholes would both be in the zeros, but the whole 2020 is off to the left of your face.

Yeah. I mean, you guys

saw me walking in the every poll last night.

Absolutely. As something about all my 2020 g 2020 gs, I saw,

uh, jams and ive obsessed course assessed with like of course, my name is BC, like K g k G Kevin Garnett Kg starring movie uncut.

Just with doing initials BC

We can

call you before Christ.

Well, last did you catch, um

What is it, Devi?

Did you catch? Thank you.

Very fitting nickname.

I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, but I don't think Howard seen it, but I make a pretty big appearance near the end of that movie. They ended up re casting a guy that was a little more normal camera A little more normal waiting now, going to you. And you know what? The bedroom.

The bedroom. Just did you guys go see uncut gems without me? No. Separately. You should already Chelsea way all

individually sought separately. But we did run into each

way to the theater.

Yeah, and each

other when we saw certain people on screen. Really? I mean, I'm just dying to take

pictures of most of it.

Twins cut to him in the the camera out towards the end of the movie. That's a cut away to his head as a local. Well, let's get the funniest looking ahead right to appear in the security. That's where not I made

plans to go see the movie, but, uh, but I got turned around on my uber driver. Took me somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah. You say thank destination was changed in

another theater or something like that.

Not even a theatre. Well,

somewhere close to where you were going? No,

it was It was a see our country. No, it was Well, I think we did cross the state line. Just

please don't tell me it was a duck boat.

Don't tell me it was amphibious. I don't tell. May you cross the Pacific? I fell,

I fell asleep, and I woke up what I thought was a fair. He turns out it was a duck boat.

Wow! Don't you duck? But the Guam that sounded nice. My well to Guam.

I woke up and I saw Land ho. I heard someone scream. Land ho!

How is that a movie,

huh? I wasn't sure when I heard it. So you were lost at one boy? Because I feel like we've only scream

Land ho. Yes. Well, anyway, we landed in the duck boat, landed to Guam.

Okay, I tell you, I'm gonna write that down. I think that's my play this semester.

It sounds so to Wome. It's a musical. Anyway, I was supposed to

be going to see uncut gyms, but I ended up in Guam, spent a couple of days there rang in the new year there, Uh, and you can

least you're playing back that we brought you a ticket for came back straight to Hamilton.

I wish it did. Now it didn't. In

fact, I bought the

plane ticket that I got. You

write that member out Change E I'll say this also. The plane itself left a little bit to be desired. In fact, they left being a plane to be

doing. It was murder. Blame. Well, it

was a bird plate.

It was It was It was a bird plane. I'll say, like a duck boat. I think it was a deck plane.

Duck player. Okay,

look like America could be in the air. Or also wonder underwater that is truly amphibious. Yeah. Yeah, That's like a duck plane. Yeah, that's bird fibula. Where did it go to say a funny place? Well, I thought weird word. It seems like Mom is weird. It seemed

like we were headed back Teoh Estates because we were over water for a long time. But then it turns out we made it to Qatar. I

took a plane crash, killed

Taylor guitar, and we have a sequel to Duck Boat to or

may my guitar gently weeps way when you got that brought it. Yeah. Wow. Okay, that that's going to the national newspaper. Put

the national newspaper put out a story. American loser lands in weird plane on it. It took fire all over guitar. Which

headline was Qatar Gently weeps

American loser Lanza. But they did some headlines, so no, I saw it was to headlines not sub couldn't pick because both

Yeah, it's what he said Classic half split of page. What? We're

glad you're with us now, And I guess just Venmo Sam uber And as we're not cheap Yeah, The duck plane.

Well, damn! All right, well, yeah, I guess you got all right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. The first, best and only podcast pertaining to issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. It's a true it is. It's the first day of 2020 Millennium Park Do is what I've heard it called.

Why would they call it? I don't

know. Because it's not a new millennium. In fact, it's just two decades into the same millennium. But some dumb guys,

Carlos Rodney Williams wanted to release a sequel to his millennium song

wanted to India and did we've heard Lenny produce. It's good. We got an advanced copy. We're all good friends with Robbie Williams We spend some time listening to.

We are really, You know, Harry Styles

We got really enduring when that freaky video for millennium came out, you

know? Oh, my God, it's gross. But I love that he's disgusting. But anyway, I of course, um, your biology teacher, Howard Beckett. Up. Levis. Ah, Here, here, toe. Sort of. I was going to say, spin the discs, but this isn't a radio show.

Of course, the nickname comes from. You recently went to a concert, and the security guard just couldn't get you to the place you needed to be.

You really wanted to be on the rail?

Yeah, I got there 2.5 hours early, hanging out in line with seeing Jimmy eat world. Really? Yeah, they're they're bandit. Ah, that I think is really good. I got there early with a bunch of 14 15 year old kids on, and I threw some elbows to try to get it

for 250 year olds Or just discovering Jimmy World.

I was surprised, Surprised, looked, I looked up in the balcony. Seemed like a lot of people my age were up there. But I'm trying to be in the pit. You guys know I have an emotional guy

hard here. You get wild in the pit, but you never end up off the floor. Does that make sense?

Uh, you can't jump. You're kind

of the floor of the mosh pit. Your mashed in the mash

unit one

who ended up being the center spoke in a lot of mosh pits. Uh, and you were badly bruised. Yeah, as you're supposed to run back and then all converge into the center. But you would kind

of just be this pole in the middle that everyone would smack. Well,

you were sort of the aim.

Yeah, they would. They would sort of hit me, and I'd be days for a minute, and I'd be standing there kind of getting my bearings, you know, enter your problems and whatnot. Ah, and they all run back to the edges, and then they all come slamming into me. Ah, and it's honestly, guys, I fart it.

Oh, you You're gonna own up to that anymore. I can't wait. We're

looking for the dog. You're blaming. So what place? You can't blame The dog has a concert.

I know. And one

blind guy. You humiliated him in his dog.

I told him his dog farted.

The dog got embarrassed around away.

Yeah. Tried you got You got that guy's dogs vaster. Revoked. Yeah, because

you stink you to be a

helper. Yeah. You guys, What is it caught? Yes. Ask pc a

There. It's helper vest got removed, their on

to appraise chorus. I mean, anywhere. Very, very emotional for me.

Yeah, eso. Anyway, yeah. The security guard kept telling me to back it up because I was too on the rail. At one point, I he said I was on the other side of the rail. I said, No, I'm not. And there

was right.

I never holding a guitar and speaking into a microphone. So it seems that's the other side of the railroad.

Well, it depends on which side is the right side of the rail. He didn't make it clear. Hey said you're on the wrong side of the rail. And I said to you, asshole, tell about respect. It's all about perspective. I'm where I belong. You know, I've always wanted to be a little bit of a rock star

came dressed like the girl from the middle music video Panies on the right side of

the food. You saw my cosplay?

Yeah, that I did. I saw the whole thing happened. I saw the toot. I said the blame. I saw you dressed like Chinese Robin. Bra, bra, panties, however so happened. Have you with us for sorry. You missed the movie. You wouldn't like it. Um, there's a lot of characters that you would find to be unsavory, I would say.

Really?

Yeah, Well,

not a lot of

snow. Yeah. Is that what I think it means?

I'm just know. It's just about generalization.

That was this. I really felt at home in the world of uncut gems. Just sort of like

obsessed with chaos over talkin. I loved it.

You're obsessed with gambling. Of course. Course your personal. My shirt today. My shirt. That's right. I was walking up to record and you were hopping out of your trunk. New

your own trunk? Yeah. Be careful now we're inching towards things. There was no that doesn't happen, Howard. Every every

generation, an indie film fundamentally changes your personality way with clerks. We remember it

with Mallrats. Starting, Stay say I was obsessed with 07

inch digging graves with my friend. Now I'll say this bill. Everybody knows that your brain's been pretty

occupant baby here, coach. And that's said in a couple other things. That's, Ah, a couple of things. It's

just going to say, Do you think uncut gems is gonna be sort of your new reference base? Or you think it's still gonna be mostly Chernobyl?

Well, we're moving on from Chernobyl, and I'm only referencing pinky rings now and the weekends first album.

Speaking of pinky rings, you're blinded me, my man. Those air Nice.

Hey, thank you so much. These air pinky rings in my ear holes during your eyes that walmart quarter machine figuring is that eyes That issue could care. It's a waste because, uh, well, it's I think is like

14 karat. Yes. So, as you can tell, my lobes are rejecting. My lobes are rejecting

their sort of mix between green brown and read your lobes. Yes,

yes, yeah. Um, but I want to keep him on for a couple more hours. Um, Howard's look, I think you could manage that.

Thank you. Yeah, it's

a great look for the new year, you know, really, Show off. Don't be so shy this year.

You can obviously tell what my resolutions are by how dress looks like trying to get into the diamond game. Okay, Yes. So obviously one resolutions may wear more jewelry. That's right. Other things that are standing out in May amount.

It seems like hot yoga might be one

of us. Yes, it iss I'm drenched. I stink. And I'm sure on chilled on. And of course, I'm standing on one tub way. Impressive final pose. Yeah, but the final most advanced. Suppose this. Suppose I'm calling the broke tones. You're naming it? I named it. Well, that's what the

student has become The teacher. Truly?

Yes. Plastic bill. Crave E. Yeah. Yeah, I, um Yeah, I cranked up the I built a fire in today's class e built a little

excess, huh? Well, that I was there for that sexy Sammy over here, Sammy way me saving me. And I took one of your exercise classes because, you know, it's the new year, and I'm making big change, and I passed out and I woke up with second

degree burns. Yes. You accidentally got swept into the sweat pile. Yeah, and not You were allowed out.

They mop up the sweat and put it in one big pile server and could see what you did in the

studio to get rid of the moisture coming into this year. Exactly how I want to be relaxed with my feet up, I'm in a full body burn. Cat is gonna

say, Yeah, your feet up was not necessarily a choice. It's kind of necessary because

it's hung up by a rope in one of those beds. Like an eighties movie

hero. You can you real quick.

We're gonna have to put a concept

of

God. You can't quite. I'll give

you $5000. If you could tell me who shot Alexander Hamilton.

Oh, I

don't know. Here. Mouth full of cookie and Time's up.

If only would have given me some milk, I would have told you it was Aaron Burr. Times out

a little late.

Time's up anyway. I'm burnt, but I'm happy. Welcome into the New Year, baby. I shed my skin just like a snake on. I can only assume it's going to come back stronger and thicker.

I feel like you should have waited to get that burp A happy tattoo until you're your body healed a little. But

I know I got it right on the flaking skin and it's like, What a waste way,

you know? And I think perp a happy caught on I saw the hashtag caught on on Twitter. Ah, lot of chefs started using it, which is exciting.

Plays it bar black burnt will happy. Really ready. You can't really read it because he did get it on a flaky skin. So you lost a couple letters and it does

say, and I'm going back for another one because I am hashtag burn

right, because right now it does say burn you peopie

it does they burn you peopie which sounds like I'm talking to my own my own Penis, that I've given a venereal disease to his

punishment your life.

That's not what this means

because a lot of people have been saying that walking by man, you feel that your people that you get if you need to finish

it I know it looks like so obvious. That is the new craze. I'm hearing on the street is like out with spanking and in with getting VD, giving someone a mediator, parents, parents, Children you If your kid is out of control,

throw a little civilised.

Teacher Maria lesson really kind of silly.

That's right. Yes. And withhold the antibiotics. Yes, until they've learned

their lesson. Because

the time out you can't do anymore. They've got their iPhones that got their ambassador. You can't hit him anymore because they're stronger than us. Now,

that's the problem. That stroller months. Well, it's It's evolution. These kids are getting stronger. Yes, they better food. Where they got better trainers,

only the strongest survive. So the ones that died from spanking

go away, and then only the strong survive. We've got these kids with these big, fat rumps

with broken him.

Yeah. Speaking of strongest survive, I have to say I feel like my life has been so trying. I may live to 1000 because all everything I've been through and live through, I think is making me a lot stronger. You know, I cut off all my fingers. Yeah, well, they're back.

That is awesome.

I'm like a human burnt starfish. This is awesome! way. We're so

worried. They were gone for good. Was

chopping him up, Put him in my food on, as you know, back, baby.

And it was delicious. And we're like, Well, that's the last will ever eat those. He only

has 10 fingers. Some of the best

fingerling potatoes you ever had. Well, good, cause we've been having trouble hailing a cab ever since you last lost those fingers. And now we're back.

I just give me 6 to 10 months, and I'll be right back out there hailing a cab with your boys. So

it takes a little things a little longer than Shaloub in men in black

hair growing back. But the skin thing is dire. I think we're gonna have to recording. The problem is the middle

finger and the thumb grow first. So you're constantly offending

people. Oh, my God. Women on the street hate me. Yes, manner. Like

Okay. Just wo man or giving you a thumbs up. Thank you for the bird that Thank

you. I love the way that we need more of this

bird. A bird

is justus. Muchas acknowledgment as a hug and kissed bird

old three old slobs know our favorite bird. Well, we got two favorite birds. Oneness, stiff fing, middle finger class, some justice. Step is you can't no other fingers but the middle of no other fingers but the middle. And then squeeze the rest of a

figure that that looks. How Bill's voice sounds right.

This is just fingered and the other one is here. You're out the thumb hard and then just barely. You barely differentiate the middle finger from the rest of fingers curled and everything's kind of curled and you're throwing

long. Middle is a little out,

but it's also important to have strong knuckle next to the finger.

Yes, so So listen, slobs, send us your best finger favorite fingers and we'll tell you that's

Ah, that's one of our to face. You get it right. We'll reply if you get it wrong. Nothing

makes sure. Bert, Bert, but happy as a hashtag so we know what you're talking about.

I don't get us wrong. We're not talking about multiple fingers here. Everyone is the middle is the bird

or third option. Flip us your favorite bird. Many. There's

a better way. Wear open toe, better birds, thistles, avant garde,

obviously Ah, the voice you're hearing right now is Todd. Padre, um, you probably seen me in the news from my now famous lawsuit, uh, with uncut Jim's, the strip club for discriminating against me. Um, I wouldn't hire me because

I I am

uncut Jim's. Yeah, it's all with with foreskins and, uh, whole

nude male strippers.

Full nude male strippers.

A little bit flabby

and a little fluffy There also uncut in the sense of, like, worked out, uh, abs or whatnot. Right? Um, and they would not hire me because, of course, I am circumcised. Circumcised?

You are serialized in a pig sty.

Yes, that's right. One of the most anti Jew I live in a quiet lobster. Ugo. That's great. It was a Palestinian lobster. Why did your family do this? Uh, well, it was just a lobster with lots. Of course. It's one

of these mean Palestinian lobster said, I know we're

going to this little baby now. Now, the Palestinian lobster was it was above board.

Perfect. It's the perfect circumcision.

That's I mean, that's I irony, you know, the universe wants balance. And that's why I gave Palestinians these perfect little circumcision closets,

right? Well, my dad had a

lot of lobster friends because he sold lobster and cheeseburgers. Too bad Jews. That's how he made his money for the kids. And so he figured he could get the circumcision a little cheaper from a lobster in a pig sty.

This place called again.

Um, let's see. Uh,

can't remember. That's where on the circumvented are all the details again? Lobsters and

cheeseburgers badges. Well, obviously, this was before I changed my national to Padre. This was when I was in the crab Inuits family. I

see. Close way Benowitz. Lobster cheeseburger. What?

Profiting off of selling too bad version. Ever since

we might this maybe

a lot of things to bring in to this name

was it wasn't remember it was McDonalds on. He had to close down because of copyright issues. His McDonald's. He would dress like a clown. Big old shoes, ball pit, same a lot of same stuff. But yes. So right now I'm in the middle of a lawsuit, um, with uncut Jim's, um and you probably read about me in the news, but I'm excited for the New Year, and my my resolution this year is to produce Mawr art, For art's sake. I've got a little bit into commerce for art. Yeah, I got a little in the commerce and my friend art just has not been liking my plays. And so yeah, uh uh trying make him enjoy it. But I am. Art is very. See a tous tick. He's off guard. I was okay. Okay. Gart, uh,

your heart have on guard Uncle Bernard Auburn guard football. Oh, my God. A big boo from

a man walking by.

I think that

was like getting cat called You got? We got boo.

Yeah. Can we close the window? Uh,

no. Okay, sir. Boule bag away. Is that somebody watching them? What movie? It's that first.

It's from a video of a thing we did in Vegas.

It's a reference to a partial video.

A person we all know. Uh, saying well, eso But I do. I I'm excited already. Uh, for this New year andan the past, I made a bunch of big resolutions that I couldn't keep. But this year I'm gonna be doing my new duck boat trilogy of musicals.

Things like a big because we only you only really have the 1st 2 ideas. So you gotta have right both of those and then come up

with the third we've got duck boat took warm. Yes, Duck plane to Qatar. Tougher

is that we got nothing. Well, the 1st 2

I'm sure, will inspire

that. We got duck trained hell

training. Talamona dio trained hell writes itself. That's why Saw

it's so nice that you're also doing these out of commerce. The's big grabs based on huge titles air just for the art. It's to say it's to

speak my piece in my mind about the world on how I feel about things. And then what better way? It's in a big rock opera called Duck Boat to Guam about a man on a duck boat to the island of Guam. Strange, straightforward, very straight.

Yeah, that's good, Honestly, that I kind of like that time because I feel like sometimes you go super metaphorical with your art. You know, I

tell you about the movie. I pitch to marvel. Why does it just for metaphorical?

And they picked it up.

They picked it up and threw it in the trash.

Well, I think that's beautiful, Todd, I That's a great revolution, Lee

so that again,

Semi Stanley like metaphor So

much, Cemal Similarly, Stanley. Yeah, that was what That was the main character from Super metaphorical seven Stanley. But again, they threw it in the trash. And I just want to encourage all the students at Hamilton to do what we're doing and really be your best self this year. I

have a similar resolution this year. I'm just gonna finally calm myself down and re grow my skin. I'm just really do it this year I'm really gonna just calm down on both know as it's a full body goal.

A close friend of your Sam. Let's give you something that we know you can achieve. This one seems a little hard to grow back hauliers

gonna skin membership. Firstly, I got a skin membership

would get a skin member Should

I'm gonna I'm in the practice.

I know in the past, with gym memberships, you've kind of gotten a bad deal with skin membership. What is this place? This is a

dermatologist. It's like a dermatologist. It's called 24 hour skin. This okay? And you can go there anytime a day.

That's OK. Good.

And for only $200. Put a little bit of that new skin that used for blisters on part of your body. Okay, so I just have to go about 1000 times and stay in bed. 200 bucks a session. That's right. That's

$200,000 year spending for this. Uh,

okay. Well, by the math guy over there.

Oh, my God. Signed this guy up for class. I guess we know what Howard resolution is. Be a genius.

Well, mission accomplished. This is George Bush. There we go.

That actually does. I mean, there's probably still more to talk

about your new. Are you doing math?

Know how

Guy knew I just was. Mine's my resolution. Uh, for the year is Teoh. Continue my education. Eso I'm gonna every week old education. Yes, I'm gonna learn a skill I'm gonna take. I'm gonna take, uh, computer programming classes. I'm gonna take, uh, ballroom dance. I'm every

week. A different one.

As long as it takes. As long as

it takes for me to really get it. I just want to expand my mind. You know, sometimes in Hamilton, a lot of people say it's a really small towns, really small school. You know, there's not a lot that people can dio Teoh sort of keep themselves growing and learning. Yeah, and

I'm

gonna I'm gonna put myself out there, maybe meet some people. It's gonna be an exciting year from

that is so awesome. I have not learned a single thing since I lied my way through college. And since then, I just haven't been able to buckle down and open the book. Yes, on. And I can't take it in. I can't even listen to an audiobook. I think it's really brave that you're learning because that's one of my

resolutions. Is to read more. No, I mean, read any.

Oh, now that's a good That's a good turn of phrase.

Pretty good. Good to you're trying to be funny.

Yes, I got to read more. I mean, read Andy. They want a lot of these little jokes like this.

Yeah, I've been thinking about

taking a comedy class. You know, you're gonna

take a class this year also.

Great. Maybe we could do one together. Yeah.

You guess You take a comedy quest to get Now

that would be

interesting. And see who? The funniest in the classes and maybe where your wife? Your teacher reporting. One of them's the foil. Maybe one of them is the Dio. Yeah. Laurel and

Hardy who's on first Costello party for you, I guess. Well, part of the concert.

You might want to take a class. That was funny.

Really? Getting

the glass. Should we All four take a comedy glass together? The class? I don't think I didn t I already said

it's true, as I was back to just you just get

a re grow my skin

Keep it simple. Um, yeah, We've got Howard and Bill comedians over here. Howard's gonna take his ballroom class. You

guys should go in cars together and

get coffee. Oh, is that how you do comedy? So

I think I've always heard that as one method. Okay.

Comedians in fake taxi. Getting coffee.

Okay. Yeah, I think that's there May be a good idea.

All right, well, we've got

our plan for the next five episodes. Maybe one, maybe zero. But everybody, why don't you write down your resolution and just consider that for the rest of the year? That's what I did about a lot of artists. Dues would make a vision board. Don't

tell us. This is for you guys. This is it for us. We This isn't for the world. This is for you know what you want. You know, because you're the only one that matters. Yeah.

We, uh, Children. The Children

one, um, on a duck boat. Teoh. What with

Duck. Trained to help train. No way. We're already getting up to take a break. Do you have to say something?

I think I feel like you have to let him know so they don't run

off everybody. I don't know if

you hear a trickle. It's

because we left the mikes on too close to the toilet. All right, guys, thanks so much for sticking it out through the break. Ah, as usual, we got a guest in the lounge. We're really excited to have her, Uh, and that That guesses. Wanda,

I Yes, baby.

The New Year

cake today.

Wow, that is so awesome. That is so cool.

I wiggle around and show everybody my behind didn't give him a little bit of a kiss on the cheek and let him know it's gonna be Oh, yeah.

No wonder my eyesight isn't great. And I think we have the same question here. Bill,

I did not know

if you are a like an adult actress that gets higher, not adult like a poor. But I don't think it's hard to this or this literally is what you are. New Year's Day.

A baby, babe, any of

you. So were you born on New

Year's or you're just like you come there and be like If somebody's born in

the new year, you jump out of a cake and

show them but so cute. You boys are like talk about I'm a New Year's baby and you're like real babies. What does that mean exactly? Means that for generations I've been popping out of cakes at the Lions Club in the Yucks Club in the Fez wearing Club in the Hooligan Club. I've been making parties better, haven't doing a millions routine all this time.

Okay, so it's got nothing to your just like you come to New Year's parties and you make him better.

It's a living.

It's like me, like, you know, I happen to the hooligan club were here look familiar?

As if it's the Shriners is the fez wearing club?

No, I get the winds from time to time. But I don't know.

You get a little older, you still wear the costume. Well, you look like a baby.

Which means I only pills and water every day, times a day.

There's a name for that

thing. Very thin too. From what I can tell, I have my rate is on home. I'll make it my glasses.

Binoculars digging through her first year. Big binocular You can see through the bag Just so everyone knows at home she thinks she's got all the cake off of her face. But she has a lot of diaper

I can see. Yes. Let me taste like back type of it never fails. Never not once. Okay. What is the diaper Big? Well, anywhere with tassels on my nipples. A big diaper. Some people have diaper. You know what a fetishes likes it. Get a hard Penis from something that in santelises unusual.

Okay, so you kind of do liken in Fanta like like a baby

baby. Go, go, go!

Okay. Cheer. Look like they're

supposed to be a dance here with, but she could

Macchio eggs ein my dad for oh, blank Zain Boom, boom

she she she mind a gun in the air to those boom boom. Of

course, I knew there was a time everyone could carry a gun right in the pants on. Take it out. Whatever I felt. Dental of your generation has changed at all. You know that they have homosexual way kissing boy,

I think that's

always existed. They must have had that near time to

I hope you take the Children acceptable Bum bum booty. What do you

do when it isn't New Year's?

I have a beautiful bedroom with a waterbed. A pink satin shit. You know what it looks like? The look of the ice castle in Superman Two. Wow, I cuddle up with myself and I have, ah, vibrate of the size of an actual price

in. So you gotta look like old peach. Old Princess Peach

led a life that only a woman my age can live one of fantasy come true. If you can see it or smell it, it can be really Wow. Yeah.

And you also in

your bedroom get advice from a hologram of Marlon Brando?

It's not, but there is a hologram. A couple holograms. One is a hologram. of Paul Lynde. No, hay was a Gaiman hosted the Hollywood Squares, and he used to do a big smile that looked like it was made out of plastic. Anyway, I talked to a once in a while. Sometimes I speak to my dead sister wrote. Then I kill the booth.

Now is she in the room with you? Are you sort of speaking to her? So

your podcast or even this one recorded

his ears are a

little bit. He was burned head to

toe grandma like a three D movie theater, Holly and talks Teoh

just so that everyone knows. Wanda was tried and convicted for the murder of her sister,

currently summer at My Ice Castle and winter at the Homeless encampment and gow and frankly, in the middle of Hollywood,

you winter, the you had cut off get

Do you ever go just a few blocks south and see some great theater?

Great palladium pant Agius, Pantages, Palladium, Hollywood, Warner

Brothers? Did you perform on stage when

I didn't kick lie? But I was like a rocket only alone, so I would do a kick. But it was in perfect sync with myself. One leg at a time. Bobo.

Yeah, that's there's nothing to sink it, too. It's just one leg.

You can only imagine how the men would go crazy where they thought that get a view of my ho ho. But they didn't because my legs was so close Together, I started a fire with friction. No! Oh my God, You were

responsible for the Pantages Fire of 1940

four at the Library of the Central Library in 1987. What about Susan Orlean's new book, The Library Book? So being a

New Year's baby is almost your smallest fish.

Yes, listen, it might be my smallest saying, but I think it's the most significant and partner to the conversation we're having in the Oh, no, year is a time to get naked. Peel your skin off, pull out your muscles and see what's inside. Put it back together. It was yours. If it doesn't get put back together like Mr Potato Head, it was never yours

to begin with. Wow, you can off

was never years to begin

with. Fentanyl thing is the year that once in a while I do an opioid, and then I take myself off, see what happens and then go right back on.

You gotta were. No, no, that's for elephants.

Less than. Let me tell you something about an elephant years ago. 1963. PT Barnum dead. But he wasn't that part of the story. There wasn't there. Ah, pink one. I ran pink elephant. I came out dancing on top of it. That's right. Captaincy. Got a platform built special for the elephant. Don't you know he was showing? Everybody got

bigger applause than the elephants. So you, your heinie upstage the pink elephants?

I had a perfect push. I can tell you about it anymore because I've I get out of the sea. You're gonna see part of it will still stick to the CEO. I think this was

back in the good old days. In 1963 when most people see heinie that I'll stand the plot.

What? They didn't have the Internet. They was so thrilled to be able to get up close to something real. Something made of flesh, Some with blood. Bourne, 70. You could stick a syringe, right? And

eso You said most people you know, when they get older, their heinie might start to sigh you say? Now you're high gnaeus

sticky. It's not sticking and stay stuck because it's got sex that stick in the crisis. Like in this chair here. Screws that hold the

okay? Yes, you. I mean, you brought in multiple chairs and sat down. You had your own

chair on your

you know who's gonna make it Come back this year. Wait to see what Miramax pulls out of its rabbits half this year. So you want him back? Listen, sometimes you got fingered because you wanted to get thinking. Sometimes you have fingering

Hello, Lingered Harvey. That why he's using that Walker

Hollywood Was Golden Minds a golden shower? No understand.

I

used to be able to get paid on to be a problem person afterwards. Watch just get off. But not anymore. Now it's this one's May to that once timed up. I got this one. Me too timed up. I tell you something. Harvey Weinstein. Beckett. His day before he became a fat Ogo was bad and still ugly when he was a toddler. Ian Stubble. Just

based on these 1st 10 minutes or so of talking to you, I am questioning the school's choice to bring you in as a guest lecture.

I couldn't disagree More. Children need to note a history. You need to know what it was like back in the day. All these Children want to go on the voice or American Idol of this one of them. Wanna be a singing star? Well, you gotta climb up the ranks slowly. Sometimes you gotta perform in a laundromat for one person at a time of mammon up in check and off it. You you I

want to. Your life makes me sadder every time you talk. Look, Yeah, I do think there's a little bit of even when you talk about the voice of American Idol. I mean, we all recognize you from the blooper episode of all of the show.

My shot. You think I'm not gonna take myself? I'm old enough to know that when there's a shot, you take it. You go in there and you bleed all over the goddamn place. Literally. Yes, off course. You're the one who pulled Cee Lo's pants down. When I go and I make a chance for myself, I'm making a chance for a life. I'm making a chance for all my people out there. My fan club, people, little girls who want to jump out of cakes and show what you've gotten shaken Tito's. You could do that and so much more. I've lived a life that you can only imagine. I've seen everything done everything, tasted everything. Andan Year is just big kidding.

Wow. What? Having glass of incredible life you've had. I gotta be honest. I didn't know and I'm I'm sorry.

Name a man. I'll tell you what his Penis

looks like. Tom Cruise.

Cool shorts. Wears a jacket jacket like the one in the top gun. So it's cool. Yeah. Ray Bans.

Let's about, uh, Morgan Freeman.

Oh, it's got freckles on its African Americans. I don't

think of is having you may ever have another race in the person they're on occasionally. You

know what? You gonna miss America,

right? What about Andre? The giant

Very small something expects a teeny tiny, like frozen peas.

You know, just like it wasn't

the balls. Penis was normal. Size.

Some of you have you, uh, betted these people or

listen back in the day. You ever hear a few?

Yes. Yes, Playboy man. Cool guy Grado.

We all used to spend that time at the grotto. Some of us used to call bacteria soup way going, you know, because we would bathe in and get a dander all over Hollywood Back in the day you have a Playboy mansion. We would all squeeze are breast milk, right in swath. Things that went on there. You cannot get out of your head, OK? Things they saw things. We all saw things.

Wow. Shooting guns again.

Boom! Boom. Oh,

so you would scream, Just squeeze your breast book into the ground.

You know Angeline, the one with the pink car? Yes, I know her.

Yes way. Don't know her personally were aware of

Oh, well, she won't talk to me anymore after I stole our thunder. Playboy. Really?

So Angelina's there? What's Angeline doing?

Angelina's driving a little pink car. She gets out of the pink card, gets in a pink golf cart. She consented, gets on a pink tricycle that takes up puts on pink roller skates.

So just having pink things

is her talent stole her thunder. You mean you tried to drown her

in one of the toilets?

Her whole body

in the water just very small. So I tried to ground. She hasn't forgiven me. Once in a while, I piss by her. She'll drive by me in Hollywood. She thinks she's so terrific. I got a message for you, Angeline. I'm the one who's working right now. I'm the one who was invited to Hamilton High School and the one who gets to call and tell a bunch of youth about what? To know what our lives. Take that Rene Goldberg, which is her real

name. Wow. Very similar to her. You are were Jewish and change your whole look and personality.

That's right.

Wow. I guess you don't Maybe don't want to lead with that. If

you're trying to be, you know, Hollywood actor.

That's where you would be wrong. Every audition I go into, I say, Hey, you know and Frank went to school with you should cast me. I'll tell you what she was really like. Secret knows flesh. She was a paid in the and I can't believe that Diaries. Where is the one that

you have a diary? I've seen the photo in

your house of you pointing to her house in Germany.

I had taken on the Dutch name Fluke unproven. And I was walking by a house and I have been to see the Gestapo. And I said, Listen to May. There is a whiny pain in the ass who took my pencil and never gave it back. She's in the

and you're taking It was kind of your Marilyn Monroe over the subway grate

home. As long as I am, you get so really know the world, Yes. Say things. You meet Popes, you make this one. You make that.

So you're a holocaust survivor because you became Dutch. Oh, boy.

Got 10. Oye, history e. I was born a small Asian Jew in the little touch Hamlet of bottom of them on I got hide was discovered on and I disguised myself. That's when I knew I had a talent for performing. I went out into the streets and I said, my and nobody paid attention except to just pass me by. And that's what I saw that pain in the ass and frank up in her attic scribbling away. And I saw it right. I saw the shadow on the I knew it. And let me tell you something. Back before she became and girl, she was just that girl who knew everything. Hand shoots right up there. Every answer, like shooter spares one take pain is not for me. No, you shouldn't have my personality.

No, no. Well, congrats on making it all this way.

I'm so proud of me. I'm so happy to be I can't wait to tell the students of Hamilton High School that they can achieve their dreams if they just do enough

drugs and bribe enough people. I hate to tell you this, but I think you might be involved in the dare. Um, talk today as a scared what? Teoh whatnot. Todo

does dance still stand for what it used to stand for?

Uh, well, right now it's drug abuse resistance. Education.

Oh, that's not what I thought. It all right reading L. Jackson that I've always wanted to wake with from Australia. I believe places he's

from New Zealand. And no, this isn't dudes. Dudes aren't reading elevation. It's not a presentation. Is that

I'm gonna go up in front of the kiddies and say I love you. Crystal meth. Yes, but so many other things I got. Sorry's I lived a life. I've put it in every hole that's in my body. And then I made a couple of new holes to put things in. So you can do it. A

tracheotomy hole in your neck?

Yes. Can you believe I could speak some level? That's right. Yeah. Unbelievable. One of two. There's one straight out the back side so I could put a straw all the way through. Yeah, I can

see the wall behind you. Looking at your

look. I'm putting my hand behind it.

Well, you're getting your flipping off. Flipping me off your neck hole

is that it

looks like the poster of death becomes her, but just the neck

narrow street. Honestly,

take the twitter would be most defended by so far of what you said.

Hey, you could look at the bottom. The bottom of the

line of cocaine is this. You can do whatever you want. You can achieve whatever you achieve. Just spread your legs and get knocked up early.

That's the message for all you girls out there who are too afraid to push a man off. You

know what do you do? You have

Children? Yeah, of course you do. It's so important to procreate. Leave them Wherever you dump them out, they come out of your vagina. Any dumpster will do any fireplace Will dio just leave him there? Someone bullfighter

way. So why is it important,

Teoh? Because the world needs to make populated. You know what? What? Nobody know exactly. That's a good

point. I guess

I have to. I feel like I do have to say that I don't know that I could Don't that exact method of having Children as a man who abandoned his daughter when she was in her team? E have a little bit of regret about it, you know? Well, now that's a great idea. The problem is, every time I started Instagram, she she blocks me right

away and you get flagged for lewd content.

That's the problem with communication. You gotta go back. Fashion stalking. I stock.

I've been stopped. I stopped, I been stopped. I stopped

arrested for stalking off course

for stocking. So do you stopped like people used to be in a relationship with Okay? Yes. And and their families. And you know what? You just are You?

Yes. Supposed to make meaningful connections with people unless you contract them into being your friend

were Ever talk to them face to face. Or you always sort of following

when you say face to face, you mean your face on your face or your face, Like your tush.

Okay, I guess. Face to face.

No. Okay, you don't do talk to them there. But

everyone in the whole while has their own love language explaining mine. You keep track of it is your problem.

Thank you. I appreciate

their faces, someone face to. But conversation.

Let me tell you get

which is you? The orientation is your face on their butter there. But it

depends on the price. It, of course. And whether or not

somebody who you maybe wouldn't put your face

in there, but you would let them put their face in your But

look, I don't

want to get into the mechanics.

I think it's what's important is whether or not

you communicate meaningful e whether or not you exchanged body fluids in a meaningful way, whether or not you you you whether

or not you're able to communicate what's going on on the inside and the outside on with may outside means one nipple, the nipple

get up there. But

I think she's

superglued. There's nipple tassels love because they're not coming off ripping.

Yeah, she's got a cake on her laugh. Didn't really bring Ahok jump out at this time.

No, no, no. You've been to five parties just today.

Just so I went five parties that I was not invited to.

What's the best way to get a party going? That is maybe a little stale.

Great advice for the for Your friends out

there have for gotten the joy of song important to join together and sing songs for how the days preferably songs that everyone knows the words Teoh You can just make of the way that you along But new Sick is the great unifying.

So if you throw in a party, you'll just start singing a song And ideally, one everyone knows. But you might make one up and hope everyone gets along.

Mariah Cary I remember now who's the one who sings all I want

right now I've lost it Might not be hurt, Hayhoe Bowman. Hey, shut up! Shut up! Same song, sand man, But I'm bring me a dream but I'm more medley walking over my grave

But that's why you bring people together. Good music on a good can.

A pit can of pea. Nice canopy. Okay, now, that explains a lot of the cans you have with you. Smell in the room.

Bring something for everybody. It doesn't matter where it came from. It's the thought that

can cause she's having his off hands of he

thinks Now, you thank you. And I wouldn't use those is your urine samples. As I got all kinds of things cause did survive, Ace. I think

I was going to use this

with a more back of cocaine. Just floating in a

pretty dense blood stream of stuff.

You passed the bag of cocaine.

I was once a drug mule. It was 1947 drugs hadn't been invented yet. But I went down to South America and discovered them. And then I took plastic. Also not in wide use at the time. And I put him in a some size back. Maggie swallowed it and kept it in my gut.

50. Now think that this is a You can try some vintage coke. Mr. Me

is actually an empowering story. The first ever drug mule was a woman. I mean, and very, very strong of you to make that choice. I guess you were in South America in 1947. Based on the and Frank stuff. I guess I won't know why you went to South America. You just need to make some money.

Yeah, and the other thing I'd like all of my female listeners to know is that you can do anything with your vagina. You can do it and stick anything you need up there and store it for an unlimited amount of time. And if a baby happens to grow in there, there's rooms of both unlimited amount of

time. That delivery seemed pretty relaxed cause she kept it in there for 50 years. Right

now, the things that I seen in my life you babies couldn't even possibly imagine your lives a stuck in caves of your own making now. Well, what was

like old Hollywood? Like? I heard a lot of tales. It was Frank Sinatra and carry

grands and a Montgomery clear all doing it with me

in one room, one bed one time because

they didn't have such things as camcorders. Way was shooting it right on 35. Wow,

You tell at the time that Montgomery Clift was secretly gay. Based on that experience

course, he was blasted like Like pleasant. Hey was not interested in one of what I had to offer. But listen, you can't please them all. They only had room for two at a time anyway, in my anus and my vagina so worked up Montgomery was the film

operator. OK, so he would just crank the

wait to tell these stories at the day of conference.

What about other parts of Hollywood? I guess we're talking more about the culture and the town.

I thought you but other parts, like other parts of body rest,

uh, Hollywood about Hollywood Tain tain.

I love that word. What a one day didn't use that word back. They used

Teoh to show us You don't have a way believe you know what it means. There's someone. How have you lost it? I don't know, whipping

through her, but like a

book? A a lot of ways. Their finger

ages Not kind. I could tell you right now. Oh, it's so sad to get older bank in Hollywood back in the day. Oh, they used a beautiful cars and little men in suits running around cleaning them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was definitely a racist time. Right? But back in the day, you could walk down the Paramount Main Road and see showgirls and tigers and mobsters and cops and robbers. You saw kinds of things in the harassment was everywhere, right? You could see women just balancing on men's fists. Women with puppets and men When the puppet E is it is it was a simpler time.

Well, that's how uh, uh, Sesame Street got started, right?

You were hilarious. Was based on you. Correct?

Because no one believed I was really. So I finally convinced by showing that my hairy Bush convince anybody Well, they don't come repair. Not that big has to be. Really. Anyway, back in the day in Hollywood, we would stroll up and down the studio sound stages and we would look at everybody making them movies and say, This is the golden era. Did I say golden showers off Because they were

prevalent at the time, OK, a lot of money

paying on each other short because we didn't have fentanyl. Now you think the point is it was a different time And now we have all served into the future. And here we are. And, yes, some people, a dead, But still, I'm still kicking. I'm still auditioning. I'm going to 200 self breast tomorrow in the No. Yeah, I'm gonna become the new spectrum Mobile

girl. Congratulations. That's great. You

want to know? I mean, I'm in a theater teacher here, and these guys will have a Hollywood experience. Do you want to run the audition?

Teoh? Here are the sides scripts.

Okay, We owe reaching for Todd's Penis. Uh, I don't think this is how it works anymore.

I don't think it's OK. Good cover. All right, So she's gonna read the copy respect from I'm

gonna make it my own.

Absolutely. I want nothing less.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. You look up, Wanda.

She died in the middle of rehearsing a commercial. No, she can't be dead.

Okay, Back. Well, well, you said the lines

you wrote on the paper. Um, but, uh,

make it my own.

Oh, no. She was

going to make it my e A. I can't afford a mobile phone.

You can if you have a computer in your hand. and you won't look up for it. Like all the people who walked, leading came in and give me change. Yeah, uh, I remember.

Well, a spectrum is looking to remind its customers that a lot of the world eyes without home right now, it doesn't have access to a cellphone or wife.

I consider myself a public service announcement that just walks around with.

I think that is to a t what you

are.

Listen, I honestly feel like we could talk with you for another hour, and it would never slow down, and it would be so much fun. But unfortunately we are. We're coming up on time, I But you've got to go do your assembly. So

you're you're wanted my assembly. I gotta go prepare. I'm gonna shave my talks.

Okay. Looking for Don't say the portico slipping. Tripping through her body like a razor I thought you want You don't need to shave for this. It's just an assembly. Forgive. Just

fine. Don't show your genitals.

Gonna explain them if I can't show.

That's not what this assembly is about.

I was called in for something very specific. I'm here. Don't my job. I wish him all it. But, you know, Yeah, they could go all the way, baby, because they've already come a long way

crawling into the cake. She brought

somebody

standing in a case sort of ankle cox.

And I don't know why she's the cherry like filled cake.

Oh, man. Well wanted. Thank you so much for being here today. We learned a lot. Ah, and we really appreciate you stopping by on. We allow. We'll be back next week with more, And until that until then. Hey.