I like when

we get back here, and they've they've cleaned up, you know, They, like, polished all the floors and, like, repainted lockers and stuff school. It's good after a

lot of shining. It's really listening. Yes. Smells like a pine sol. They finally put that wall up to kind of redirect the kids. Um,

well, all the kids were walking off the off the

hard edge. Um, cloud, you know, the one of those

edges that you walk up to and the clouds or below you

one of the way.

So the kids, if you walk out the edge, just don't look down and you'll be fine.

That was I get advise they do a would die.

Well, you know, uh, principal lamp, er you kept saying he was gonna build the bridge so that we could get across, but it was like fixing the toilet. He just never got more tools. He kept saying he was going to go to the heart

pounding someone who owed you ran toe kind of light jog in his stamping record, going to

build the bridge. Yeah, I get a break.

And then one day we show up and there's just a pile of lumber and tools sitting at the edge. But like that now is old, weathered. It was all weathered and grey.

I left the wood out.

I saw him wandering true value, refusing to ask anyone for help

even when people would come up to him and say, Starting to help.

You got it?

Yeah, just holding a toilet.

Just holding a loose toilet. Lamphere, we got your number. You don't know shit about hardware store. You're not like us will ever go home and talk to your wife. Stop just eating lunch on the job site and doing nothing else. The Roach coach needs to re free. Stop

the road coaches. Empty lamp. Er, that's

the utility. The truck

that pulls up to the car try. Uh oh, yeah, They call it a

roach coach, cause it's followed suit. Fulla Roaches like the idea is that it's it's gross bad food

sites. They call it that, but here it's because it's obviously run by the Roach Brothers.

Wait, themed as the truck is sort of built like a big road. I thought

the roads brothers were going to

be able to quit because they had that deal with Marvel, you know, because because they're they're

big Roaches. Well, into

2020. Everyone knows Rochman Roach, man. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking that, like, all brothers air directed movies. Now we got the Russos directed the Marvel movies with these approaches.

Yeah, the Roach brothers.

A film? Um, old house,

this It was long,

just like you. And it was a review. It was just like a Roaches partying. And this how

started Just unconnected scenes.

Sort of floating around a little

derivative of a little nineties movie called Joe's Apartment. In my opinion,

the asset wise. Itwas how What What happened in that movie?

Joe's apartment used armored

becomes best friends with the Roaches in his house.

Sam is trying to play the piano

key on you. Key on you. I'm talking this piano trying to add keys in. He says he wants something lower than the lowest low I would. That last is low. Is hell's never you All right? I

know you're on a lot of medication right now

for for your skin regrowth.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm recovering from the

big burn, and, uh, my brain is is dealing with a lot. It's doing a lot of my epidermis, and so my other functions have gone weird. You claim it's opening piano, claiming kind of opening up a musical talent in you.

This I hope that's what this feeling is. Because you had a snare drum

walking around the middle of Town Square yesterday, swearing you were the next Keith

Moon. That's right. I was keeping the beat with one snare drum thinking I was Keith moved. There was nothing around really that needed to beat that needed to be drama. You got to keep

a beat. People say the time you need to beat the least is when the time takes our yearly moment of silence

For all the kids who had fallen off the way to wrap it

up, kick it

perfectly cleanly round up in the kick. It was, Ladies and

gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. The first best Sonali podcast pertained to issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I, of course, am your biology teacher. Uh, Howard, don't you judge that Levis on here with my buddies again.

Hey, did they

clean out the coffee pot? My coffee tastes awful

of Christ. They cleaned it.

It's fresh and crispy, I think. Yeah, that's what it's all

a bunch of the sludge that was at the bottom of in the sink. What, like remnants of slight?

Doesn't know. Lunch is like the mother. You have to keep the sludge in there to keep the flavor going. It's like a good soured Oh, it's like a nice cast iron skillet. You have to have the slide. You never wash it. No season it. What the hell? I'm not

a violent man. But if I find the person who dumped the sledge now will not by nature, I will fight them. Well,

at least they're

still a ton of powder. Admit where? Where's the

powdered milk? Like the Hank? What visit here is a freshly on open 2% is there fresh? Half and half and a small little tiny fridge? What? What? Downgrade the teacher's lounge. Okay.

What? We're dealing with a huge 22 obviously, budget cuts. Well, way lost. You can't powdered way. Waas the sludge budget cuts. Okay, let me just open the cupboard here in grab a 40 times reuse Styrofoam cup.

Ok, tell me it's

E. Tell

me the copies. There

No, it's I'm sure it's somewhere behind something up here.

Wow, that looks like really nice. Stunning.

E

least increase the covens. There's nothing

I think they did. Increase the coverage is a little bird, and I've got a ground get. You know what this means? This means they hired a new janitor they couldn't afford. The old janitor have been here 80 years and keep getting raise higher. The tired a k a. Jimmy Jimmy. Mr Clean Bargains. God damn it! No, no, They

hired Mr Clean. He'd been too expensive. He's to High

Dollar Mr Clean. Mr Clean Bargains in town. Guys, he's the best cleaner you've ever seen is so expensive. He lives in a huge house on the edge of town

because it's a It's a big market being a cleaner,

it's a huge

market. There's a lot of money in it if you get big enough clients and I guess he's got the biggest client, which is the

whole school now. But I don't want a cleaner is

too good, you

know, because then you don't feel lived in it doesn't feel like your space. It doesn't smell like you are exactly most good in here.

Yeah. I don't like

I e this'll bird keep squeaking. It's clocking.

We'll deal with Mr Clean at some point, but

im ah Todd Padre, theater director, um, working on a trilogy, Um, you're all probably heard about in the last episode. It's gonna be our like, our angels in America. Trill agreed. But it's the duck boat to Guam, Siri's duck playing to Qatar and, of course, duck Train to hell. Eso were in casting right now, and also in writing

was that you

don't cast until you done right.

You want to work with people who you you feel good about, and then you write the script to tailor it to them. Yeah, that's right. That

and I'm doing a thing now where I'm using, I'm using improvisations with the kids and so that will help me get the script together is the stuff they sail end up in the script stuff they say in auditions will end up in its crest asthma and then maybe they'll play the role. We're

not sure. I've heard about your improv workshops in this school. I'm trying to get in. I mean, there's a sign up sheet outside. I've signed up a couple times on. I usually wait outside. If there's any open spots, you'll usually come out into the hallway and be like I got one spot who's the first on the list? But I've heard a lot of times inside you just being like,

No, that's not playing new choice

A lot in there. That's right. Well, people keep doing it wrong. Thing is, there's only the when you're doing improv, there's the right way to do it. And then there's mistakes for and so the Padre Methodist to get rid of all the mistakes a

lot of people

say and not me, but mistakes you can sometimes sometimes spinning to go, go. I don't say that

I but I do. You

spin like a so metaphor. I do say, Spin it into gold. Do

you experience things into Grove Way? It's a Rumpelstiltskin happen, but yeah, I believe you know, For example, I gave a suggestion. I said couple, um, and the two people were playing a scene on. It was like, um, hi, honey, has everything gone? And then the other person was like, Oh, pretty good. I was like, Stop. All right. These doctors are both guys. One of them's got a lift. The other one is a woman, or this scene makes no sense. Um, and it's like stuff like that where you just got it. There's the right way. And then there's the Padre way.

Yeah, that's awesome. So the Padre way is no same sex couples. Well,

unless that's what's happening in reality. But that's not what those two. So

when you say when it's happening to

16 year olds and I was like Leonard, are you gay? I

think that's smart Closet. If you want to do improv, you always say Do ask, do tell, do

ask, do tell. It's very progressive. I want to know if these kids are day

now, scrap time. I think

that you know I have a problem with it, but if that's your method, that's fine. But I think it's where that you make him wear different shirts.

What do you mean? Oh yes, skin shirt. Your shirt gives and I don't know. I honestly don't know who's gay, who's not. You can make a girl go skins. No,

no, I'm not making the girls go.

Stay exist. That that is some sexist Last millennium thinking, Oh, for me, You can't make a girl, okay? I mean, call, I'm going in on my mistake. I'm like Kevin Hart in the documentary I I'm going to do a documentary direct, and I create the narrative is

gonna be so revealing it's gonna be so revealing A big apology that none of your accusers get to be heard.

And yet somehow you're still gonna look bad in it. Yeah, it doesn't work. Okay, I'll do the apology. I'll do it. I'll do it. Be a documentary. My name is Sam Weatherman. And that's right. You are bedside. I am burnt and in a bed trying to just heal and recover. Right now I am the student government teacher and former drivers Add teacher,

I can't touch the wheel.

So you have

been doing up a tree on podcast called Bedside.

Welcome to the bedside. And it's just me. Want to promote the bedside right now? Check out bedsides on every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I

love the, um segment. Bedpan.

Yeah, where you

talk about a movie or TV

show or a booking hated or what's in the bed pair or you have a huge movie TV Shorebird do. It's very Jimmy Fallon. It's like you can either Panama a piece of art or talk about this diary. Not empty. Yeah. Um, spoiler alert. It's always about diarrhea because I'm diary ing a lot. My body's lost a lot of its motor functions, its faculties. But,

hey, I'm still hilarious. Maybe like

I say, I want to be on the diet you're on. I mean, you've lost

what you get. My wish. The video would have

been rolling. We've got cameras in here that we've yet to figure out.

What this is what they don't tell you. The two outside layers of your body are very heavy. Very huts off. Those burned right off your slow. I'll have what your having. Thank you on. What about these rock hard abs? Yeah. Luckily, all my belly fat chard. And now I have a nice little It's so interesting because I wondered groups of tourists keep coming in here and there like look, look, look, I think they like I think maybe you are

technically a stop on the bodies. Tour bodies exhibit.

Yeah, I got it off here from from bodies. And, you know, the newest one they're doing in town is at a mall. And I said, No, no, I'll take museum. I'll take gallery. But I'm not doing a

mall one I'll start my own. So

go ahead, join up a tree on dot com Backslash bedside comedy. Come on down to see the one body exhibit. Uh, plus three live guys with him s any time. What's up, Bill?

Crave e here. Still coaching? Still coaching. Also been meditating. Ah, lot. A lot. I think it was in the last episode. I love your new soothing energy. Thank you. I've been meditating over sex hours. Ah, a

lot of people say, because for me, when I'm a potatoes fall asleep in pic of lemon taking like if you're sleeping, it's not actually meditated.

Well, you know, I do. I don't try

to judge myself. Okay. A lot of the practices let whatever's coming into your mind come in and then just let it go. So I let him sleep. Come in. I let it go. I sleep a little bit, a little bit food over there, out of a full season TV show. Like awake, paying attention meditation. Believe house go grocery store I

don't want, You know, I don't know if you're releasing these yet, but you've been trying out some guided meditations that you emailed us. I wondering if we could play one of the ones you sent this Because I tried to play yesterday and it Ah, it took me places.

Your

patriotic exclusive. Yes. This is from mine. Yeah, it's called Chill out. Uh, and it's very, very soothing. I got that big bowl that you hit right at the time, lover. So you won't have been playing,

have you? Figured out hit that bullet soothing way, Way

I practicing? I'm practicing. But was it not something to you?

Well, there's just a lot of it. Feels more like a gone for a lot of ah ha dies. Um, yeah, but yeah, I don't know, but

when I see a

little bit Yeah, I'm going play it.

All right, So I turn this thing. Oh, shut up, Mole. He What is happening here? That the window uber Oh, Sansom Sizer. Sorry. You okay? Why? My grandma's trying t o here. I dropped the boll on your grandma trying to meditate. Know? Well, I'm trying to do a guided meditation up here and the boat wouldn't shut up. Shut up! Hard on myself. On drinking. Go for Craig. Oh, snowball over. Craig going on between the booth you call May Boat. I have to get my number ball grown groggy from the Patriots. Wrong grow way! It was Super Smith Gronkowski Grob Come to a little I a figure eight with my team. Just kidding. It was maybe bowl. Did you bow? Bow? Don't you call me again. Hello? Right. Somebody knocking on the door Green Schomburg, What's up? Go on my door. Here.

What did you think? Well, first distracted. But you only you could only get I

got this app. You can only hit record once, so you just have to let it roll.

You didn't have to release it, though. You didn't have to put it up on the patriarch

while I'm already paying for the hosting. Uh, once

you start hosting, you want to see the process. You know they want to see the ref

edges. Yeah, they want to see Maybe even their yogi isn't quite as chilis. They thought

That's right. They want to see the skin grow back. They want

to see you come back to health. They want to see you find your process. But that bold is driving me nuts.

Its own prank. Shout the bolted bowling points boiling smalling points.

So they start to see how crazy the Balkan make someone. If the person can handle it.

Canceled the first mark killed themselves. Bold drove, um, Natural drove that crazy we were like, Is that a ball? And is evolved

long term pranks though it's not

everything. Maybe you're on bowling points. Well, I could be e. I mean, I'm always in this weird restaurant with so many mirrors and terrible furniture and all the lighting's best everybody in their writing Eating is 19 with coats on and staff.

And how many times

in a row is Dax Shepherd? Been your waiter now?

Oh, every time, Every time

it's shepherd and you know about deejay hater Bill hater Bill

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gotta feel your underwear now, Howard, you got

a new podcast working

on. I knew, uh, it started as sort of going into the thing that I mentioned last week where I was going to start trying to expand my horizons on. And it's just really original idea for a podcast where I bring somebody on and I have them talk to me about a thing that I don't know anything about. Oh, great zbig before it's up a tree on. It's never been done before that there aren't any other ones like that. It's where I'm an idiot and I don't know anything. You come on and you just tell me about it and

it's It's one of those things were what you don't know could fill. Ah, what's that, Sam? Where you don't know could fill a thimble.

Yeah, I've heard you trouble. I've heard you've had

trouble actually letting the experts tell you about something and you explain what they're wrong. about?

Yeah, pretty comeback. It afraid of them? Sort of warping my my world, my world view. So I kind of always kind of steer the conversation back to the things that I know

a lot of you dig your heels in if you hear something that maybe would change your mind

Yeah, people are listening. Expecting about the park is to be about a new, different topic. I'd say you're mostly going to getting a wrestling podcasts.

I know you have Zach Braff on and he wanted to talk about ancient Egypt. I

did. And I said, That sounds great, But maybe we should talk about had executed a good Ah, good. Ah, vagabond, evader bomb.

You almost killed Braff. He almost broke his neck. You gave him Mr Site. I gave a Mr More. Basically,

it's inhabiting is I have on a big name guest and then I just perform wrestling moves. And if you listen to it, you can Actually it's really mostly just sound effects on what's

it called again?

Uh, it's called. It's called Howard Levis is wrestling.

I that you tell the guests Tokyo and it's a straight up wrestling. Yeah, you guessed it seemed like the only lie

is like in the description. Pretty clearly marked in the title. But distributions like Howard doesn't know something somebody explains this to

Yeah. Yeah, well, that's the only way you're gonna get anybody to Come on, You guys. You lie when you reach out. Yes, Call. It's a classic switch. Good on. And so far it's worked out. I got Zach Braff on episode. I got

original Val Johnson. Reggie

Bell J was Reggie

of LJ.

If someone has been the star of a Thursday or Friday night primetime TV show, you've had them.

I had Coulier. I did hits on you guys are my gods on? Uh so you don't mess with the Zohan? But I did.

I'm not Steve's

on heavy, big time Mestel. Steve.

Yeah, I know, but the party is going

on and tell us who you mass with who you met. Right in. Yeah. Could be. Glory s defying who you fuck with own slobs. Let us know we're looking for interests.

Yeah, I mean, we all have podcast. You never actually did. Do you

have a podcast, Todd?

Well, yeah. Yeah. Thank you for asking.

Sorry. It took so long for us to ask. I could tell in your voice. You know, waiting for for your Really A piece of paper asked me. You're waving your hands as if you were, like in the middle of the ocean Looking for a helicopter? Yeah.

I had put together a bunch of dead clone bodies to ride out. Help ask May, um,

dead crone bodies. Yes, I want I gotta watch this show.

Yeah, big spoiler. Um, but, um, yeah, I've got a podcast. It's Ah, it's all about reconnecting with my ex wife and daughter book anyone, right? Every book to to paint guests that I need from

you down was 100%.

I'm 100 in. And so, um, and it's just really have been hard to book. I need to produce their Honestly, um, the hardest part of a podcast is really the booking and

the producer. You want to go in together? I could start. I could help you book. I could books. I could book you, and a lot of big guests are responding to me. Yeah, I'm

not really going for the celebrity l America Howard.

Big judgment, But no, that's no.

I mean That's one way to get listeners. But for me, it's more about content on drily telling my side of the story. Here. Uh, don't

you think

your side of the story is pretty? It's out there. We all know what you think happened.

Well, yeah, but I would love to reconnect with my ex wife daughter. And if they're listening right now, which I know they are, I'd love to have you on, Um, it's called redemption Cast on. And I think it's, I think, my story of redeeming myself, you know, much like how the dad character and honey boy, I feel like people are going to hear this podcast and be like, Oh, Todd's all right. Um And so, yeah,

that's the reaction you had from watching Honey Boo. Yeah,

that Yeah. No, it's not. It's, you know, it's not all the one dimensional story we think it issue. No, I was going through some stuff

about abuse, right? An abusive father e. I guess

we have to divert reads the movie. And that's the thing with artist. People read it differently, but for me, it was like that kid put that dad in some tough position.

Yeah, basically made me think Shyla buffs and narc big coming out of

it in our big mark.

I can't believe he knocked on his dad for accepting the money. He made him pay real quick while were at it. Everybody tweet us. Your

big narc on your parents from when you were back home for Christmas. New Year's?

Yeah. Hit us up, Narcs. What's it? Tell me about

your parents that you won't tell him to their face, but you'll tweet to the whole

world. Go ahead, Taleb. You can't stand up to your father. But you All you do is talk shit for your comedy career. Let us know what you got. Nine lakes. That

was the meanest thing you'll never say to your dad. All right, let's take a break.

All right, guys. Thanks so much for sticking it out through the break There, Uh,

were ill break to that. It was a brutal, brutal break. We purposely made that one long.

Had a tough time, but, you know, we're really excited. We got a guest in the lounge, as we do every week. We're really excited to talk with her. Um, because she's got a area of expertise that maybe some of us

are a little dull

in. Ah, she's ah, substitute teacher here for the day. For your math teachers. Ah, and her name is Miss Gloria Daniels. Gloria, how are you

guys? Really? Well, thank you.

That's good. That's really nice to hear you're having a having a good day so far.

It's OK. It's a little cloudy outside. Um, not a fan of the rain. Like, don't like to get my hair wet, but yeah, I think I'm doing okay

now. It's a lot of hair.

Thank you. Yeah. You to say

I'm impressed.

I take my vitamins and

Oh, that's what it is. Don't take vitamins whenever

there's specific vitamins for the hair that I take. And yes, um, they're working. Thank you. I feel like I'm I'm in Paris

now. Just based on, like, a kind of sense I'm getting is in a lot of fish oil. Yeah.

Yeah, it's Omega three.

OK, Yeah,

It's just a sense. That's kind of tensions over the room. It's a sense

I'm getting

scampi. I

haven't. You brought us campuses a second. Scared tastes like, and I don't know. I mean, we don't say this often, but it smells like guys. Say it with me. 123 scare be turned. I could explain that. We really can't We saying lot way saying

a lot.

Any time scampi comes up, it has turned.

Has your turned?

No, no. And I know because

you're pulling Abi's drip out and eating it now.

And this is on dry ice. Oh, my wife. When I'm yes. And this is Watch this

I z z o on it. It becomes a haunted house. Wow. Scared dog Time is Todd is clutching. He's ran up a little spruce tree that's in the side

of loud journeys, clutching it at the top.

No, that was just for power. I wasn't scared you. I wasn't scared. Okay,

Well, I I I take my scampi very seriously.

Obviously you haven't. It seems like you have a devoted scampi sack.

I have a division of devoted scampi stacking. You'll see. It's Velcro, DSS and

you. I funds a little dry. I show

What am I? I feel like I'm the belle of the ball. Cinderella Someone take take away my dress, put me back in that public it

your dress, Hank,

let me suffocate

you are something for all the math teacher today.

Yes, they all I This is what I have heard. I heard they all went on some sort of retreat. Teoh some sort of buffalo wing, Sure, but I heard there was some sort of thing that fans

of Buffalo wings, Of course there was committed this weekend and I don't know.

And so I said, You know, they said, Will you come do it? I said, Well, heck, you're

so you're kind of live casting yourself into other classrooms. Are you running back and forth?

I'm running back and forth. And, boy, are my arms tired. You know, I actually, it's it's it's I'm They move the schedule around, so I'm able to do different classes at different times, and some of the classes are put in tow one so you can imagine

that way. I walk past your your second period class this morning, and there was 200 kids in there.

It was like

they kind of just added all the kids into one classroom seemed manageable,

like Bono, like you were killing.

You were really feeling, uh, you were you were singing.

It's a beautiful day. Let it get away is what I said. I just you know, and I see it's it's feels good to be a rock star sometimes, right?

Nobody's ever said that about a math teacher, a person who even likes math. It's usually a thing that disqualifies

you fools, Matthew. It is about as close to rock stars mathematicians get.

But is it music? Math?

Wow, you know

something to chew on?

You tell that to the kids. Do you talk about Miles Davis?

Yeah. You know what's funny is in my AP classes ideo have your

tea today. Peak Allies is too that I didn't even think about that.

Yeah, I would say, um because I audited your AP count class and I would say it's really more of a history of American jazz class.

Listen, if if if if you can't, if you can't tell me who Charlie Parker is, then you know what? You can't add

that I tell you if that's right or wrong, I

never made it past Jr

wear so happy that you're taking over for those teachers today and ah, bring in bringing the energy way. We're gonna

be, of course, at the Buffalo Wing. conference

way were trying to get

artists passes because we but we all know the Buffalo Wild Wings. You guys get backstage to meet blue cheese. Oh my God, that's what I wanted. Blue cheese is, of course, Ah, dip. No, it's not a person named O cheese. It's like a blue cheese

ranch with a little bit of sassy. It's a sassy brand,

apparently the original blue cheese. It's the first blue cheese made, it said. It's a vat of blue cheese. We'll tell

you what. The newer Blue cheese It doesn't have the soul of the old blue cheese.

No, there's rumors that this blue cheese went down to the crossroads and sold its soul to be just stinky enough that people would want it forever. I buy. I like that kind of folklore, and you probably recognize me my photos in every Buffalo wild wings. You know how, like e 40 of the hottest wings will put your photo up. I can't get through one mild, and it's happened so many times that I put my photo up in all of

your like it's like a hall of infamy, right? Yeah.

You try to eat

one mild boneless wing and then

you keep running out. You don't pay. You say this is This is assault. Yes. Well,

I say this needs assault on when I say this is a song.

So I didn't know. So this Hamilton just known for its What? Now I know you guys are very into Buffalo way. Yeah. I didn't know that I was a perfect

restaurant. Perfect. The floor is always slightly greasy. It's got a little level, agrees on it. A lot of yellows, blacks, greys all around.

Every server is the most tired person you've ever. And what I like

about it is you can you can sit immediately if you go, you can sit at the bar immediately the moment you get in there. But they will not come and serve you for half an hour.

We'll know because

sit. Fine.

But we'll wait. Teoh The way the servers air dressed there, they also they have three jobs at once. They're serving about for the wild wings, the referees, and they work a foot locker. So they're doing three jobs. Said, Do they do wear those referee outfits there?

Right? Yeah. Thanks. Thanks.

Okay, but yeah. If you ever want to go? I do have a scampi on the menu there. Absolutely.

I doubt it would be as good as the one that I can. Obviously se is

testing you with this way.

Bring a scampi sack into the land without a little temptations.

I don't want to be too forward, but could I eat one of those holes? Friends.

Here you go.

Oh, my God. This is a jumbo. Yeah, of course I do. Nothing but jump. Can I just,

like, dip a little shock? Glass of the liquid

Just like the French bread.

Okay, great. Dip it in. Okay, let's buttery. Oh, pretty good. It's not even that warm any.

You know,

it's been on dry ice, right? It's It's basically

OK. So that was frozen. Break didn't get into it all warmed. I just ate French bread. It was pushed on some ice. Interest in

flash for us and French bread.

No, but not this three. Because I don't know that much about scampi. You're saying it's not supposed to be.

I know. Traditionally, people tend to think that Oh, a scampi. It's a sizzling pot of garlic shrimp. Right? I say. No, sir. It's not. It's actually a lukewarm, mildly garlicky, almost solid pace

chopped in the first round.

It's very funny. Very good. Very smart Top,

very deflecting. Very mean joker. Have you really see? So is it true what, like is have you been on shop or was taught making a joke? Because all my kids talk

about it, wouldn't you? So chop chop,

Because the job is you've never been able to even get on the top. You've auditioned.

I've auditioned for Chopped and I know that my, my my legacy proceeds may. But no, they've never let me on number. The first reason being is that I can't hold a knife.

Really? What happened? I

drop it immediately. I get I see it in my hand and scream scared and I drop it

from scary and I am see only have

vetoes on both feet Combine.

Oh, sorry I took my shoes

off. Totally become. You have no toes on one foot. Three other. Does that affect your balance? I assume that's from knife drops

Used Teoh. Yes, it waas waas. But now I know toe wear boots in the kitchen and never pick up a knife. It's in the kitchen with Gloria Daniel.

That's interesting that you wrote a cookbook, But you are You are, Ah, teacher by trade like this is this is your first job is my

first love. It's my first job.

Use your first job is your question. I've never worked before. Wow, Wow, you're really good at it. The kids really seem to gravitate. It's not like

when a sub comes in the, you know, sort of ridicule them all day.

Right? Well, you know what the thing is I would never want to be and no offense to you boys, but I would never want to be a full time teacher because I think it drains it, drains the life out of you. And I've met teachers, not present company, not included. But I have met teachers who looked like the their life has been taken from them and their mere zombies. One wandering throughout the plant. I think

some of the correct

way past the full body burn victim was going

to say I think some of president company can be included,

include myself.

I I'll say, you know, for me, it's because you give so much to the students that you know. And as an impasse, which I am, and someone who really connects with the kids. I'm giving so much of myself to them that it is sucking the life out of me every day. And I look 30 years

older than I am.

How old are you?

70 5 100. Thank you. Yes, she says so. What do you dio What you said you don't have to make lesson plans as often as we do. What do you do with the free time that you have?

Well, my husband, yes. Married like

everybody is surprised by your I see. I see

my husband is works. Works very hard for us so that I can stay home and I could watch on and I could watch TV

s not so much a job, but more of like a hobby.

Call TV a hobby. I would call my dancing my hobby.

What kind of dancing do you do?

All sorts.

All sorts. Kind of jack of all trades, Master of none.

Uh, you've been

rejected from So you think you can dance quite a few times? Well,

yes, they do. And the title is truly what I know. They think they just use that title. But they really do say that

right before you go on

for so you think you convey a different intonations. Each time is so

You think he can dance and you dancing to go. So you think you can dance?

And then if you confidently say yes, they let you on the show. But at that point, you've been demoralized by how bad. Yeah,

but that's a different kind of dancing we know. And that's more of a sexy dance. And then I'll tell you what Sexy and dancing to me Don't go together Can, can, can is a sexy dance,

But yeah, you know, you are definitely the first ballerina I've seen with no toes on one foot.

Well, I do. I'm a heel dancer.

I love that. I feel I love that. Yeah, i e you spend a lot of my boat. Also

a lot of falling now.

Yeah, but I like to think that's just part of the the flow.

That's a good approach, you know, since you were

Ah, since you're having trouble sometimes dancing yourself, I noticed. Ah, last time, the whole math class was missing and you would put them in masks. You were all in masks.

Yeah, doing a performance of Agamemnon on way. They were the Greek chorus and it was beautiful. It was absolutely gorgeous.

That was gorgeous. I don't know what that is.

It's a Greek tragedy about about loss and and and also

I see well, I sat down and I was like, Awesome! It's the jab walking on. And it wasn't

the Jabal walkies. The winners of America's Got talent.

Yes, with their the only dancers. That Bill has, as a reference put

that thought this was the day of the big math test. Everybody with the biggest test of the O failed because they did Greek chorus. Instead,

you know what? Pass fail dance.

Also, I'll say it's gotta have one more. They'll dance. Live waste. Two things were covering it. I e.

Your bags were doing less work than you. The new thing?

Yeah. Big, full, Back of head Tiny with Speed

Bank, I was going to say I think it's the math teacher's fault for, ah, letting there be a sub. When the biggest exam of the year was gonna go once

again, Guess what convention was in town. Chicken finger convinced. So they bound. We got turned away the door

because, of course, Taison, we thought we knew some of the Tyson crew. Do

you ever feel like these teachers are taking a little

advantage with this chicken day off?

Because we know they're legitimately wing heads. We know that. But then they're taking off for chicken Finger Day. Someone said KFC has popcorn chicken today. Hey,

what? I mean, it's great. It's great for Gloria because it gives you more substitute hours. But

I you know, and I'm all for people taking the time they need when they need it. And if these teachers need wing day, then fly away.

Why you are so supportive? That's really great to hear. We need more of that in this school.

Yeah, it's a lot of competition in this school. Like this school doesn't really have, like, the sort of camaraderie that most schools have. We're like we're all in this together, trying to better the lives of Children. This school is typically like I'm mad at you. You've done something wrong. I'm gonna try to make your kids fail. Test

me imagine. Let's five.

I mean, what do you expect when the example set by these clowns in Washington.

And you know what's funny is I was just thinking that

were you?

Yes. And I was going to say But then he said, No politics, no politics at the dinner table.

Freak flag fly way

bones X ever for you because you're always at the dinner table with that scampi.

Scampi goes everywhere. Therefore, I'm always

Well, we're centrists were saying tress. We

think people should get along right in the middle, get not, then died,

right? Yeah,

absolutely. Eso Gloria. I mean, with this passion for Agamemnon on I'm the theater teacher

here. Really? I'm wondering, do you think

math in theater? There's a connection there. And I said in

a beautiful mind.

Oh, yes, yes. Thank you. Yeah, right. Seriously.

Still beautiful form Aerial

E. You

gotta slow down.

You just trying to kiss her. You what? What?

So it says you I think they're asked you to kiss that. It makes that Netflix show very hard for me. Oh, Um okay, Well, uh, if you ever want to, like, work together, I mean, I always try to get guests in on working on place with me and stuff

because I would love to come in and teach a dance workshop

that you could

do like a blocking workshop. Figure out how to get, you know from, like the bar in one of your sets. There's always a a bar, like a sadly stuff bar, the front left hand side of stage. Somebody goes and pours him a little finger, a jack when they're having a tough moment in the play and then, like, sort of like you could figure out, like,

Well, if you're going

to make a cross over to the bed, it's also always there's a bar of bad. And then, just like a table.

I splurged on to props early on in my career, and that's kind all we have for set dressing now and the biggest review for my places. He doesn't know how to block it. If someone's not going to the bed of the bar,

there is a door, right? So someone's constantly coming to the

door. Yeah, painted door

to door. So there's a document, a look at the door, Then lights go out and then let's come back on and the characters on stage s event. If the seven Q plays on time, which spoil it. It really

does. You hear the door open when the lights go out the door?

Funny enough that happens in my house is when there's a knock at the door, the lights go out, and when I open it, the lights come back on.

Really? Yes. So you're living in one of my places?

I don't know, but that is funny, isn't it? But we do have ghosts, Julie. Oh, yes.

And, uh,

they are angry.

Really?

With you

is because you moved into their house. That's

what they say

on this was because I remember there was a Henry and Julie that lived in the house off of sixth and they were kind of killed in a untimely fashion. Then the next day, the people moved into the

Yes. OK, I'll tell you this. It's interesting

to me. It sounds like you've had a sort of rational sit down conversation with these ghosts.

With Henry. Yes. Rational. Yes. With Julie Enact so much.

Just Julie's heard a reason with

Julie's

difficult. And I don't want to say anything, cause I know that she had a hard, hard life trying to be a singer didn't make it, but wow, I know Henry is very much. Look, we're both here. Let's try and figure it

out. That's really nice. Well,

and that's interesting. It's interesting for Henry to completely neglect his wife's feelings. For what? What the people who now live in the house need.

We'll probably in life and in death. Yes, absolutely.

Yeah. Can. I can't imagine he's He's the easiest person to be married to

getting somewhere with them. Get that? No,

no, no, It's a split level. It's not a mansion

When you have that in court.

How was that? Your justification

killed.

So to me, that sounds like the perfect crime.

You just conveniently

had a briefcase with the full cash offer. Ready to go?

Well, briefcase, No backpack? Yes.

Okay. Devoted. Devoted cash sack.

Yeah, Jansport, baby.

And how, uh, do they haunt you? Because there's all sorts. Different hauntings. There's, like moving things around. There's the lights on and off. Or is it like the darker, like blood coming from the

Wall Street? The leave the water on mill torment? The cat bill, you know, pulled my hair. They've never touched the scampi, But

you know, I heard from a

priest that the ghost don't like shellfish.

Really? Jewish ghosts could be

right. Um okay, So the one way to kill, like, help with vampires and garlic with these ghosts. That's why you're constantly making shellfish.

You know, I never even thought about it like that, but yes, subconsciously, I think

you're right. So these air Jewish goes

and they run away from shellfish.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not kosher. I have so much to teach you,

Bill. I see they run away from other

things. I can't say,

Uh, you're saying, like, what else would Jews want to run away from You want? You want me to list You want to make the list right now? I mean, anyone could jump in, Gloria, if you wanna throw out some things that Jews would run away, are you okay? Safe. So one way to keep these Jewish dress at your house would be to breathe, not season.

I'll tell you what. I have done it once. I won't do to get

right, you know? Then it's a whole thing. They're very persnickety. Uh,

nice. No. Yes. Yeah, I keep on a

man. Let's give them one more chance. Let's give them one more chance. No, they've

had their chances. They've had their chances.

Yeah, you're you keeping empathetic to the wrong people. Don't forget the victims of it all to right

now. I think Julie and Henry, I'm not sure if their Jewish I do know that there are good people that are just, um too many cooks in the

kitchen. Oh, no. What?

I mean,

one goes we find, but their cross haunting It's just to pull your hair. Your hair is being yanked upwards and 20 ceiling,

Julie. Okay. Hello, Julia. Welcome to the way. We've never actually had a ghost guest. Now, can I ask you,

This is It's like the scampi all over again. Can I have a whole shrimp? Can I have some of your hair pills? Because my epidermis is not doing well. Most of the hair has been singed.

Eyes. You can tell from looking at Sam. He's in a full body cast. He got burned

very badly. That's right.

What happened? I

don't remember. Um, just just one of the clumsy mistakes I make Hello happen.

Like to happen Says ago. We can't remember.

It's not that important to me. I just know that it happened, right? So I'm looking to build up my vitamin e, vitamin brand, Grow some hair back. And as you can

say, I do not need any hair bills. I have really hair that grows long as I let

it all. You boys look good. I don't know what I don't think any. You boys should be insecure.

So first told me that a sample positive comment made time from

Just call it like I see it.

Oh, wow. I

needed that. Oh, I'm really trying to be nicer to myself in the new year. I'm you know, the way I talk to myself. So hearing a compliment like that really gets gets to me. Um uh, thank you.

You're welcome.

So much That way we got We've got another couple periods left in the day today. We obviously recording at lunch today. What? What? What do you have planned for your classes this afternoon? There. You doing anything? And I know you change my applesauce for your pizza

shade trade. Okay, trade for one of your little sides. You got his whole made full final pizza, baby. I'm off carbs. Yeah, right. Oh, Apple traded junior's drink for my little salt packet. All right. Hey. Oh, yeah. Oh, Arnold Palmer for 1/2 use salt packet. Your meal sucks now, Howard. All right. Sorry. Lunch trades were closed. Trading for post

blow. Yeah, I just Well, I'm interested to know what you got going on this afternoon, because

well, you know what, Howard? I hadn't even thought about it. But now that I'm thinking about it, God for the possibilities,

rifling through her scampi,

my scampi will be done by that point I can't keep I can't. I can't keep my scampi in front of you for too long. We're going. You know what I think? You know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my classes? We're gonna have fun in math class. Wow. And that's gonna mean a little bit adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing.

That's good, because these air advanced math classes you have this afternoon it's that you're gonna get back to the basics with

how do you have fun?

Do you sort of get out the gummy bears and have kids count with

Gummies? Very. That's what we do. And driving drivers ad

know what I like to do is I like to say, Look, we're gonna have fun today and then and then what I do is I kind of put out. So I have one of these disco lights that you plug into the wall and I plug it in. And then I have this laser beam saying fun. And then I go, There's no difference between math class in the club. Wow. The only difference is numbers. Yes, and let's have a good time.

And these 13 14 15 16 year olds know exactly what you're talking about.

Well, they seem to

And have you updated cause I know that your club music was pretty out of date the last time I walked by on your math tests. Have you updated it? So the modern kids can kind of vibe with the songs you're listening to?

What is a modern dance?

I mean, ushers make love in this club. Just keeps playing over and over and over. Well,

I think why wouldn't I'm sorry. I don't

understand. Trying to get in there and like, give you some some or, uh, up to date music, but the bouncer would let me in. It's hard to get into the Jerry, you. Do you employ a bouncer for your

flag? I found in a couple years ago in the in the in the yellow pages on And he was just the loyalist of men I never met. And I said, Look, he would this be something that I could kind of call on, so I pay him a retainer. Oh, um, he's just there when I needed

it. Is our guy walking outside around on

the cell phone? I was wondering who that guy was. Big, tough guy.

That's Jerry. That's Jerry. Yeah, he has two cell phones. He uses

them simultaneously. Yeah.

You in the elevators? There's a section for bouncer. Finds him for another job. No,

it was bouncer,

but there's about

it was actually looking for a bouncy castle, a bounce house. And then my eyes wandered down

just a little low

and my and I went Oh, no way, Way My

dreams have come true about they

say you call him in the first start idea Mouth were

Is this for Really? Yes. And you weren't even looking for a bounce Just

for about Sorry. He came over for dinner that night.

I drove by your daughter's birthday party. And so her jumping up and down on his belly's in the front yard. And I was like, I think I know what happened here. She was looking for a bouncy castle. Found bouncer.

Well, sometimes it when it when? When God closes a door, he opens a window. That's

being And Jerry was that window for you.

Yeah. And the door lost.

Well, uh, that if we could get on the list for your class, I would love Teoh

girls. Are you guys

bring way? No. Girls hot.

Yeah, I definitely know, girl. Yeah, Yeah,

I've been to Vegas.

I'm bringing Liz. Oh, um, So, uh, which, of course,

is the is my classes sort of pet lizard? Yeah. Yeah, it's a female is

pretty gorgeous. D n A test turns out 100% iguana,

which we thought was a lizard. Yeah, No iguana. Sorry In me says iguana.

Our budgets a little bit drawn now because we've been DNA testing

just so we can make Liz old lyric job.

Uh, I don't

describe honestly to that kind of backwards way of a club having to be like I have to bring a woman with me to get in.

And you know what? That's totally fine. This isn't the club for you.

Way require women to be thrown out if we intervene, just like you know, not participate in that life. Yeah, Yeah,

it's a math class.

There's ratios. Uh, now explain that to May. So cheap. Uh, chicks,

T xx two decks have to be pretty equal. The chicks have to be a little more prevalent than a day.

Okay. Okay.

And that's how you know the classes. Eyes popping off is if there's more chicks than dicks ratio on. That's the That's the sciences on the

technology engineer. Engineering. Mathematics. Yeah.

Uh, this really smart stuff.

Alright, fine. I guess maybe a attractive woman that looks kind of like me will be

coming. I didn't really want to go to a club. Anyway, I'll probably just go to the local Burger King. Hang out there. Eso Never mind.

They will let you in there.

Well, I don't know. Last guy was working. There was an asshole.

He said don't come in here. No reason. I don't know

how that would have been. It was Utah. I don't work in

about You work in the door of a Burger King. Ah, popping off

Burger King. Why would I be working at of working? I don't need the money. I've made good investment.

No, you haven't. You've made faith asleep. Bad investments in your portfolio burned A lot

of people said my portfolio looked more like a corn Julio.

And what they mean it was but but roasted four phone wasn't devious. Devious, devious BV iss previous underwear Once again, this episode sponsored by B VDs.

Gloria, are you familiar with BVD underwear?

I'm not learned

in the worst way. Like there you like.

They're like the kind of briefs that a 55 year old man in the movie from the nineties who's having a psychotic breakdown would run around in the street. They're

they're falling down. Brief, fine down laws. They're like women's equivalent to a BVD. Like just you. Everyone knows that the quality you're getting is like Walgreens. I needed something right away.

Um, God, I

put you on the spot on.

You know, I think something that Eve would have worn. Yes, I say that couldn't have been comfortable. Right, boys?

So little poison oak Poison oak

down there. Forget the apple

A man. Well, Gloria, honestly, it's great having you in the lounge today. We really appreciate you taking your lunch break. Teoh, you haven't even touched your scam for you. You

know, I have lost my appetite about 15 minutes

ago. People say that every time.

Stop doing this to yourself. You are a bright, shining star and you better you better shine bright across the sky. Or else you know what? Your to turn into a comment and kill a lot of people. That's right. Sure. But if I told up gonna kill people, that's what

time you've got. A few years left, shine bright.

Thanks, everybody. I needed that bill. I think you're Jordan uber groupers outside.

Oh, yeah, I'm I've been meditating this whole time.

Who? Who

was this on the Booth

bowl? Oh, did I order for crazy? Uh, well,

this callback will cut. This callback didn't work. So

uber was the booth here? Both It was. The ball worked.

Look, thank you for being on the show. We hope that there's more conventions in town and we get to see against,

you know, you boys have been so sweet. I'm gonna give you all these wrist bands. This'll

says V i

p. It's a V I p thing. This is over 21. So you boys will be able to drink in there,

pass on that. Is this about backstage? Also, we get to hang out with you afterwards.

I'm sorry, but that we have to keep that pretty, uh,

exclusive exclusive. I get there blue trying to neither confirm

nor deny. But I will say that I will say, Get to the stage around 10 p.m.

Guys just wheel me in. They let us go anywhere. Just wheel me and then let us get

anybody. Yeah, It's just like when we went to Knott's Berry Farm thing.

All right. Thank you so much, Gloria. And thank you, everybody for listening until next time stay.