Yeah, go ahead and ah. Gets you a bite. It's good. I may. That's that's a homemade loaf of bread right there. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Now crunchy. It's in a Ziploc bag. It Name Brand? Well, yes. Is it block? Yes, Uh, or is it says Yeah, with a K, though. Yeah. Full. Yeah. Ziploc is just with a C l s.

Yes, Ziploc. The that brand is, but zip lock, uh, desert wear

Levi's brand. Ziploc. Yeah, Zipper. Closing it up. And

this is ask back. Yeah, I guess you go in green

because you can wash your bag. Yeah.

Wash him out. I

can't tell from over here. Is that a button? Flyers? That a

standard zipper? Oh, yeah. It's all button. So they yet it's not going to really create a tight seal,

but this is

more of a tote. It's like you put it in there so you don't have to touch with

way. It's not a Ziploc ripping my invention apart. Can you send it in person? You stop ripping my invention of particle. I want to rip one more thing

apart. This is obviously a balt loaf. Okay, now it's it's It's obviously a ball that's that just tastes like it stays familiar. Seven. Grain seven

Grace's Dave's Rockin basis is Graves Disease. Dave's Rocket brand one by a non taste The guitar and long hair.

I love

all these hippies making Ben and Jerry Dave. Why? Why

do we need

a hippie on our food? Is

an ex convict.

Is that true?

Leaves an ex con. Really? Dave. Dave is an ex con with a bit of a history of ah believed bipolar

disorder. So he, like, murdered someone and chop him up. Put him in the bush, and now it makes break. So

I put him in the bread. How? That's why it's called news killer bread

Exact. Sure. It's right there under our fucking one. Now, this is breaking more sensors. Pinky toe. I'm eating.

So, Howard, thanks for bringing the bread next time. Just the honest truth.

Don't bring us ah bought store loaf in a denim per well, it's more about the Was about the the Denham. No, I wanted you guys to see Bill. You're having so much success with your invention that I thought maybe I could give it a shot and obviously I failed. What you walk into

sharks dead because if you got the sharks diaper CEO on the board, you're gonna get some lip. I'm just going to tell you that.

Just tell us you got a new

purse. Don't disguise it as a Ziploc bag in black bread and

so on. Are you trying to ingratiate yourself to the family again? Come back with some bad inventions?

Well, you've been

second off the Levite it hard this week,

and I don't say that I didn't want to say that.

None of us wanted to say, Well, here, I

need to say it again. You're sucking off the Levi's too

well, I've had such a rough time. Wise teat. Okay, The animal. It's not a personal. It's

more

sustenance. It's about sustenance. It's about it's so pleasure. There's there's there's

pleasure in you. Sucking off your family did Well, yeah, I mean that they don't even want anything at this

point having such a long, ah long, difficult relationship with them. It's been nice. They actually did take a couple of calls. The people to go to the factory.

Yes, but maybe new listeners. Howard Levis. It's spelled L E V I apostrophe s he's part of the Levi's fortune

took his dad's first name is his own last name. Keep the fortune go.

He has been very stubbornly avoiding living off of the family wealth, one of reckless driving on old car living in a living in squalor. Okay, yeah, I mean, they

had a tiny house at one

point at a time around town. Is was the opposite of self described because it's not self declared. It's it's pure. Describe

squat. I think my house is comfortable. I lived in a minute. Smells good. Ah, all none of these. None of these were mentioned

on the comment card when we had the walk through.

Well, Howard, the purse. I think the person's fantastic. You, Sam, if you're going to try to sell it as a Ziploc, it seems a lot more expensive.

Ben, Is it blah? Yeah, well, they do come in packs of 100 so there's some convenience. Nice. And how

big is that? Pack is hit on the shelf.

Well, some shelves. Costco. It'll fit on the topics from a Costco shelf or

unfair with a fork lift to get it up there. Yeah, or you could fit

one box in one of the sort of rectangular places where the pallets normally go. So you can either get from the top or they can kind of slide one in on the bottom.

She'll tell you what I'd like to do with this. I like to kick it.

Oh, come on, now. You know, Your Honor,

Your Honor, do your honor, Your Honor. Dont don't kick it there cause that because he say that wasn't working with the sound. That was a kick it with the, uh what? He wants to kick it with his foot. Not

your honor. Did he go? He didn't go that way.

Well, you are right. And gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. The first, best and only podcast pertain to issues relevant Teoh hands in high school community. I, of course. And I am Howard. Please don't call me that Levis on. I'm your biology teacher here with my three buddies. And

this was, of course, the nickname you got. Everybody knows everyone around school. You'll embarrassingly call your teacher mom once. Well, Howard, unfortunately called our vice principal Mom Mom, 40 consecutive days in a row. Now,

to be fair, She has the same name. The same first name as my mother. So it was confusing.

Little difference is 40 years younger than you. Yes. 70. Yeah.

Our newest youngest principal and boys adulation Teoh making big changes. Seven year old principle. Congratulate. Bell is now a Skrill. IC song

is full length. It's an eight minute bear and you have to pee a class two minutes into it. A

request by the drop.

And then you got a rage for those next six minutes

until teacher conservative BP's orders.

Yeah, yes, thank you. Caroline

Going? Caroline. Mommy.

Yeah, I did. Why did it one time she said on intercom. Please don't call me that.

And then you kept doing it,

and then the second time is a bit like, own

it. I was goofing around. Ah, And then the kids all started. Teoh refer to her as mom when, like, sort of winking at me when they would say it. Ah. And she finally called an assembly, called me up on the stage in front of the whole school and said, Mr Mr Mr Levis, please don't call me that. And she's thank me and the negative reinforcement of this banking.

She's bringing corporal back clear lines, bringing corporal back.

But as we all know, if you want someone to stop calling your mom the last thing you got to do a spect got the mom John Howard. And she said she

is

playing into it to

be there. Yeah, it wasn't. I didn't like she called me son, so I don't know. It kind of felt a little bit weird.

Yeah, we wanted everybody,

of course, showed up for the spanking. Word got

arrested. Standing room only.

Yes, it was It Was it on movie in. There was small club the bandits to Okay, the man smoking was in Yes. Generally pulled up. Yes, The general and the car. Yes. Talk to general. Save some time. That guy.

That was a small, smoky room. There was little ring set up. It was a lot like a cockfight. Yeah, wise. Well, everyone, that's right. It did turn into a Yeah, Your dick

got bit by a big rooster. Yeah, well packed, packed, packed, packed

way. You were kind of hoping for a bite. But instead I got peck through. Yes.

So let's talk

about this spanking into a cock fight

with your Penis and

it escalated quickly. I think when you get

that many people with bad hearts in a small room like that, things just happen. And

a lot of low brimmed hat. So people really felt like they could hide. And

I didn't know nobody. It was almost I was the only recognizable person. See

another eye The whole time I was there, we were there. Well, were

the early that being truthful in saying,

Do you think is the rooster trainer I've been training? We were there in heavy disguise those but we were all in the corner

of the rooster

wear waxing up the roosters eyebrows way recited the researchers breast gel in

his hair, up gel in his little red head up.

Are you kidding me? I had

nobody in my corner

wear my friends. You remember

after round because you're your Penis was beat the rooster after round four and we gave that rooster a pep talk.

Confident I was had I was sitting outside their wagon it around your corner. That was your problem. You were wagon

around. You had been spanked so hard that you had just sort of went nuts.

Yeah, that's true. Well, you

guys know that I've always I've been on the cusp of CTE for a long time. You

got CT throat from a space?

Yeah, she hit me so hard in my but it gave me a

combined Hey, welcome to the other side, my man.

Thank you. I feel awful.

So she spec c t into you. That's terrible.

Really horrible. That's a Maryland even joke about

now. Yeah,

I'm not gonna joke about

that. No, we're not. We're not talking about

the brain disorder that some football players get. We're talking about C t from the real world. Energy

you started started around that. It's almost indiscernible

when you get him in the same laboratory. I started cereal in a Boston accent. I put my hair in like a vague pompadour. Yes, I put on

a tank that was a pristine

There was nothing vague about them. Well,

and I do just want to let you know, since I'm training these roosters Cox, if you want another shot at him, we can do that. We can put up another promotion.

Am I noticed you get really in the promotions. Fear. Obviously, there's the hair

Of course. Don't hang hair straight

now. The old job. So

now we've done this little bit another season? I don't know. I don't

think those my friends way All have is Don King is dead, right? Yeah. Too soon to represent the president. No, my God, No. Don King would have left the president going to Congress. He would

have. Yes. I don't know what you listeners want. We've We've do. We were doing are things way. Have a few things and we're doing I don't know

what you want You haven't complained yet. We just came up 30 seconds ago. In conversation,

we'll get back Teoh the topic at hand. Sam, A lot

of

people are saying you getting involved in promoting cockfights? Um, training? Well, yeah. Promote. Okay. Yes. Okay. It's a little unusual because you yourself in a lot of ways are chicken tender. It is.

That's right. That's right. Oh, I forgot about it. Confusing everybody

out there. We do want to see everyone's interpretation as Sam as a chicken tender talking trading roosters we want This

is the part If anyone's ever seen.

If you don't make us regret asking for this because it's embarrassing. No one does it.

It does feel as

if you have become a chicken finger because you were covered in town. Yes. Pocock, uh, you started. Regret yourself again. Egg wash. Now your chicken tender of Alaska. You are. You're living your

life is the chicken dinner So I would see how you

would want to give back to your chicken community.

That's right and really identify with each other. They see me and they go. That's a bigger version of what I want to be.

Oh, except not cooked. They want to be fresh. They want to keep living,

they keep living and they want a fight. That's what they want to do. And I'm there to do it for him. So I've opened up a little Jim in the back of the school were using one of the portables on Were Only good. Yeah, portable. Set up a coupe, but it's a fight. Coupet's a training gym. No one's laying eggs in their you know what I mean.

Good. That's really good.

What is

these, uh, public's general opinion on cockfights. We know dogfights. No. Go

start fights or bad. We learned that the hard way. Thanks again to Michael Vick for taking the fall for us. On that one

way to put it, we framed his ass. Now that's a classic frame. If you want to go look up on a classic frame the teachers to Michael Vick. Yeah, Classic. We're taking credit for that one. That was us.

Yeah. I think the public is pretty against cockfights as being cruel, very cruel

and less vocal than dog fighting lives. Probably more people who are okay with cockfights than there are okay

with these people complain about cockfights or they're complaining with one hand in a chicken sandwich with the other exact. So they should

be pretty aggressive with some of the chicken gesturing at me. Stop this cockfights up this cockfight and what do

I see? In the other hand, I see a chick fil a sandwich

and I think slinging tomato around the proof is in the pudding here because you never see somebody in a dog sandwich. Bad dog. Maybe, But that's not

a doctor about debunks your home

bumped by yourself quickly right there after quick debunk it between at us. Tweet at us Mythbusters air

here. Oh, my God! Red beard bald head.

Wow. Way that's respond to

Red Beard. Bald head. And then they left Edmilson called Red beard bonnet.

Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, that's cool, though, Sam, that you have something to put some energy into.

Well, I'm thriving, you know? I'm thriving. I'm bouldering. And I have a new thing. When I teach, Cox had a fight. It's been really red.

And I did also hear, though, that you are currently in the process of becoming a combo. Yes,

absolutely. I mean it. Me. I'm in a deal with fries and soda right now, and we're hoping it comes through. We're just trying to work out the numbers, but I think to come through it, you

know, you have almost Inc to deal with fries and soda.

That's right. I'm looking to be the number five.

Oh, wow. Where you're open. You're kind

of a free

agent. I'm open.

I'm a free agent, but I'm

talking to

fries and soda. And we got a pretty sweet combo, uh, lined up a tax

wise and

soda are above football players. And and the menu isn't team. Is that what's

happening here? 100 100%. So I didn't know that you

could couple up with other football

were taking the lead back. Wow. We're taking the lead back. We're tired of these owners, you know, running. Singling

you out and putting you with

others. Put me on a dollar menu, Oyo, because you are you You almost ended up on a dollar menu. That's right. I had to run out of there to climb out of the restaurant. You I had to climb out of the restaurant. Reneged on your dollar menu. I don't have the dollar menu where you were first pick. Yeah, but I signed not reading the contract

that I was Jewish. I did see you the other day, and ah, haven't got a quiet meeting with trips and lemonade.

Oh, well, through you're gonna go more of a healthy. I had

a meeting with chips and lemonade, and I like what they had to offer, but I think I'm a hard your dish e. I think I'm a heart of your dish fries and sodas where I wanna be. Well, I think we're taking our talents to, um everything. Are

you sure you don't

want to take chips and lemonade? Because I have I lunch. I go to lunch around town. I got different places. So cool. I have seen fries and soda sitting down, having a meal with turkey burger Having a meal with regular beef burger. Yeah. I'm not worried about that. Um, you're not

worried about that If you want to be with a big fat beef burger. A boring old turkey burger. Go ahead, Sam. Chicken strips, fries and soda are ready to play way. Want to touch down for a calm?

Sam, I'm gonna tell you this. I've said it before. I'll say it again. You deserve to be on the card. You deserve to be Allah cart You do not need. Yes, you

dio. You do not want to be Sam.

I don't care what Bill tells you. Do not do

not assign thought about the food.

No, I think it would be said would switch up. Nobody

expects you to go ala mode.

I mean, because we've seen people dip their wending fries. Wendy's winding when Wendy's fries into their frosting, wending as they say. It is impossible that people would start. Dickie.

People definitely definitely dicking me into a frosty fisher. Adopters are rushing over to Todd right now and saying yes. Yes. Stroke. Fishing them away, Right? They call me when it's a real one way. Keep being ambulance chasers does. The doctors were not administered

coming from bullets,

so they're they're running away from an ambulance mode.

I would love to call them. And here's what I will say. Read the fine print because, as you know, a couple years ago, I got into a contract with Aleka Mode

Way. Remember that you had a lot of unhappy diners in a lot of you didn't

read the fine print. You liked it so much you started dating. The fine print

is that the temperate was so down that print had words for day. Them print.

Why you got to be so fun, Brende. I

actually on being sued by print or cat calling.

You go before in print.

I did. Well, I didn't know that

you couldn't do it. Which was the most embarrassing.

Like damn why you write. So little is you don't want me to see you. Bye.

I've never seen anyone signing the contract. Well, sexual izing it, objectifying it.

I know. I mean, what can I say?

Well, um Sam, I got to say I'm liking what I'm seeing out of. It is all floored Momentum. It's very exciting.

Yes, a lot of business deals happening. Yeah, I'm really am excited to get out there. I feel like I finally found my inner peace, and I don't have to do any of that self betterment shit anymore. I can just go out, be a chicken here and try to get on the menu. I can pursue the want of always had, you know, who are the patriots of the menus? Ah, the patriots of the men. You are salt. They win every year there on everything. And they did Deflate gate, they dio I don't have the and

it's definitely worth digging in.

Okay. All right. So salt is the Is the patriots. Uh, okay. All right. That's all.

That should slow down a little. I was thinking menus. Bella, check is McDonald. Oh, check is Ronald McDonald. That clown dressed up in a little McDonald is the

Patriots. That's the bass menu you could get. And they're the saltiest yet, and they're the saltiest. Oh, So you're saying underneath the menu, it's all just so That's right. Big So it's big salt

exalt. Maybe salt is the NFL. Maybe

I'm being totally honest here. This bread maybe frickin nauseous. I don't know what's going on.

Years have pinky toes

I've made. Might have feel like

Dave's killer bread is We're always eaten. Some type of body parted. I just realized we did it again, huh? E apps.

Todd. Padre. The most nauseous man in the room. Um, obviously, ah, feminist theater teacher. And you probably all know me from my new app theater pass. Um, it's an exciting new apple working on. If you want to see a high school play anywhere in the country anywhere, that is, of course, participating high schools.

So far, not many. Not

many so far. But, you know, you build up, you built. It's a double billed rollout to not it's a very slow

rolling somebody. If I'm print, you go to the production, you pay, you watch the production and then you email the app you can get reimbursed

will pay you back for your back for it. Um, it's it's ah, $50 right now a month, Um, And for

live theater, what a good deal.

Absolutely as much like theaters you want. All you do is pay upfront and shoot us an email afterwards, we will pay you back.

I think this is a genius app, and I think it's really going to get people out to

So So So what's the business model

here? You're obviously hoping Teoh to get payments from these high schools

or, you know, fill the seat. Yeah. You're trying to fill seats because you know how

high schools work. They make all their money off of cans of soda and little little magazine sales. Yes, you know, So it's going to get butts in seats on the during the intermission. You guys can Isoda, uh, highlights. You know, Marie Claire Ice. Uh, and so it's in the theaters. Best interest to have more people there shows to sell that other stuff. I say it a little bit of the ticket cost and etcetera, etcetera. But my eye, it's not about the money for me. You guys know, may you guys know self less. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. Form A What was that?

I don't know. I just think we're giving you a little bit too much credit by saying selfless

selfless. You have no idea of who you are. What your like. Absolutely. That's selfless. Mean,

I got no. So So how can I fight for myself? It's your You're a waving flag. That's right. That's right. My flapping around. A lot of people, you know, the different personalities in their bodies. My body is my personality. It is a flapping. Uh, nothing. It could be a blow with the wind It So, you know, I just want people to see Mawr theater more high school theater stuff.

I did actually try to go and see a play last week, cause I, you know, tried to give your invention a shot the same way I was hoping you guys would give my invention a shot. Yeah, you ripped it to shreds the

Levi's diaper. This is what's called

a Ziploc Levi. Zip, zip lock,

believers. But now lie acid wash. Zippel.

Yes, but anyway, I went I went to look a play. Ah, I went to see a ah a a youth community theater production of the music man. Um, I ah, kid that I was in my class, directed it. Um And it was I thought a great a great play. That's great. You were nowhere to be found there. And I think that was the best thing that could happen for the production. Uh, and then afterwards, I e mailed, as I was supposed to dio fire, and I

have yet to see

a refund, is what I'll say.

Well, first of all, let me clean up my ego, which has been a spilled all over the floor by the dig. Uh,

day. I'm just saying you don't have to

be involved in every piece of theater. It for 500 mile radius.

What schools? What school is this was

it was cos Longfellow again was Longfellow Academy is

a private school. Well, let's just say I'm gonna be I'm gonna go check that play out and see if there's any nuts. Okay? But I have a feeling there's a lot

and specifically cast all tied. It was all under 15 cast

look rested JV play This'll is a freshman. You, you, you, you

you My resumes 5 to 500 so I can play under 15.

I don't know. Time

your age ranges 5 to 500. You play it all you played

Gandalf the dead.

Yeah, I put gained off the dead and all the cut scenes from the second Hobbit on. And I do him at the theme use mint park, right that they're making.

Okay, Well, how do you have a part of you? Do it to the people building

it. If you do that, the construction

gotta pitch in it. And off the dead. Well, those are great

job. The construction workers aren't the guys you can give you,

John. I've seen your pitch laying in a ditch near the construction worker because he's dead. Not

working on the past. That's the lines. OK,

I guess I was wrong. It's bad.

It's like his last gasp before he goes

last. Todd, what I'm asking for is the refund that you promised me

satisfaction. You came on insulted me by saying that play was good cause I was anywhere near it. And now you want

to refund Which one was it? With the player in the terms

and conditions of the app. Todd,

you must find print if you're not

married Any. That print

was not fine. Okay. U g l y That print ain't got no alibi. It was ugly.

Know that brands Thank

you.

I don't think,

Sam, How much

was the ticket? I'll reimburse you right now.

It was 40 bucks for the

ticket booth. It's a price school.

Did you brought him his monthly fee already? E I sure. Fucking dead.

Okay. Group

Todd rifling through an old dusty leather briefcase with fake papers in it.

Fake papers, thes plastics. Not first. They're plastic sheets of paper. Clinton too little like papers. You get the eyes? Expensive custom, an arm, a leg. Just fake that you have business movie past classically, famously family.

Oh, this is theater past. I hate you guys. Do you know

this? Hey, join the club. Join the freaking club time. Do you want a $40?

You want to make fun of my $500 briefcase

briefcase? Insert papers. I'm going

on Amazon right now to see if you got these.

I know you're on scams on

campus. Eyes

on auto filled on my

computer Hot. Okay, You scared? You know, just fake social for scam. Bazan

is worth 37. Miley on Mom.

And that's my It's not because it's alive, Frank. Zoe's says from scammers on. Yes. Todd, I can't

believe you spend so much money. But you know what? I'll eat. The 40 bucks cares, cares for,

you know, a bad advertisement, but do not delete the all right

now. I'm gonna delete it right now.

Have a functioning app. That's you. Try

to delete it. Okay. Uh, come on. That's

right. Unbelievable. You just got scammed the apse on your phone for life.

Oh, my God. It's like the U two album. That is it fishing? It's dio

I did. Everybody hear me

reference that U two album that was was put on your phone Wasn't that hilarious of innocents? Isn't that funny what I did? You said it a few times, novel and knew.

Who are you making

fun of here? You're saying Hey, don't cut it. Your honor, I'll just

say this started. Didn't appreciate that when I tried to delete it sent me a selfie of you with your middle finger up.

Okay, so the abs working,

you know? Yeah, I'm working with you on on the AB. Oh, that's awesome. On you saw the truck, and you said I think it was Ellen

Tank, not yell on. It was an eel in a tank. Right.

You know we're the yuan. Must. You're working with you and

everyone here that

you live in a very what? Here, Bill, Your microphone is on you. I did a you

too stuck on your phone right into Yellen. 10.

Yes, but the But it's true. All right? Yes. I'm working with this great new developer out of Silicon Valley. You'll intact helpers. Uh, in the U in tank is the new the next new thing. Todo bomber video. Steve Ballmer's sweating, but yeah, I download the app. Everybody. This interaction I had with my enemy does not suggest how the app works, which is very well and see more theater. And this Let me know what you saw. Lemon. If there's any roles that could be played by May, Ana will tell if

they've seen the play. The play's been cast. Todd, you're not gonna be able to replace somebody who's already in a play.

How many

schools are you in right now? How many schools

are you affiliated with with your app? Uh, harmony schools. Oh, have signed on. Well, let's see. There is the

had a lot of emails

out. Yes. There's obviously the one you saw. Longfellow Academy Academy on. Then there's I'm in talks right now. A short man, middle short men middle is we're working with Oh, short man, that your man about town

wide guy Elementary? Why the island?

Okay, they're getting younger, saying the same age a za faras, The, uh, wide guy were in talks with wow and a

flat girl Montessori. Oh, come on. A story that That is a problematic

man. Yes, yes. Two dimensional or one you mentioned. It's one dimensional girl, one dimensional. Good, good. They should change the name of their mascot to,

you know, I is problematic way Didn't want to say no

tits. They change it to teats, and everything's better now.

Yes, I didn't even realize this, but I gotta pee worse

than I've ever had to pee right now. Hey, will introduce our fourth host spot.

All right, folks, thanks so much for sticking it out through that piss break. Feeling relieved? Yeah. We all drain the lizard and we're back in wages.

That means we had a sandwich. Yeah, Dreaming lizard. Yeah, Yeah, we had a wet, sloppy sandwich.

Yeah, we're, uh we're but we're back way neglected. Teoh introduced one of one of our one of our own, Which is that

I think

that's first time it's ever happened Where we didn't get around.

Yeah, we just had a lot to talk about. You know, you brought in store bought bread. Yeah. Then Caroline, the new principal than the cock fighting.

There's a

lot, you know, it was just

signing out among the nation. Went to me. I only have a father lives swiftly

and to wait. Still chicken finger, chicken finger, huh? NFL. And then, of course, dinner pass

theater pass. Thankfully,

our guest for the day did bail on us, which is we're happy about it. Sorry, Matt. Damon us today. And Matt Damon was supposed to be on the show today.

Uh, now a lot of people's Jimmy Kimmel.

He always bumps Matt Damon.

And so no rolls down street. If Kimmel bumps, Damon, Damon gets mad and he bumps. He butts, right? And I don't love it. I'll tell you that right now.

Right now.

Well, if you don't think we're

bumping someone else, you got another thing coming.

I'm beginning

to think we're not talking to the actual Matt Damon because he scared he bumps us Every day we get bumped every day by day, and

every day we go to the same thing again. Can you believe it? Examines covered on the show

And where it's like we have a crush. Were walking around like we have a crush on cloud nine.

Uh, Martian. Oh. Oh, only meet the Martian. Any one of

those potatoes? Yeah, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Any Martian heads out there? He made the taters in the in the Remember that

Now where my Ford verse Ferrari heads that

way. All stuck on May. Heads were stuck on me. Is that What about the town to Mr Ripley? Stand right. Okay. What do you ship? Uh, suburban condo. Burba. Kochan. Informant. Now we're on playing the same character in those two were

wants to talk, but let's smash all those movies I am to be together and scroll down for our first person of color. See if you can find a way. Matt Damon

that Damon is

have to diversify your film experiences.

Bagger Vance might be literally might be weight. He's never been in a movie

with a person of color. Just was hearing all the names those movies.

Maybe he's

a big racist. That's why

we're getting bumped by the biggest races of all time. Matt Damon. Uh oh. That brings us to do so.

Wait a second. Last samurai. Is he in that? What's that?

That's Ah, great wall was him great. I'm talking also a whitewashed Asian

story. Now I feel like our conversation is becoming

I'd love to

cut this. Everything's inappropriate now. Well, you can't point out that all someone's movies or white wine.

Yeah, I guess you're right

in a room full of white man

that hours. Oh, hey, come on. Ah, But anyway, we should introduce the fourth before. Hello,

Bill. Crave ee, uh, co owner of the beef diaper. Cocoa. Your changed last week. Well, Denny obviously owned 75%. Uh uh.

Danny has 75% in 10 persons by

Sarah now has 10%. 15%. Um, but I I I should not I'm realizing that I took way too low of a percentage because I offered any 75

from a guy who's got more bad deals than anyone else in the world. You might have just

taken the cake. Yeah, um, but Danny brought worldwide knowledge. No beef.

Yeah. Everyone in the world is talking about it. And I will say, I think

we're

burying the late because business is good, but also huge. Your parents moved back into town on their reconnecting with you, and they live there. Live right down the street from you, which

is so so,

yes. It was

unexpected for me. Um, I haven't lived in the same town as my parents, and 20 45

years you've gotten close. They've moved to a couple of the town's you've lived in.

Yes, yes. And, you know, like things. I just I heat up a little bit when they're little close to me, but this is different. This is different there in town. Ah, every time I get something awesome going on, here they come. Not not. Who's that? Is that Justin Bieber's dad? No, it's Bill Crave ease, Dad. And he wants a little piece. Okay, He wants. And it's about It's a bad influence on May.

Well, he wants a little piece, and he wants to free merch. Yes, because he smelled one whiff of that beef diaper and he said I could use this

one as you guys

know I liquidated all of my belongings to buy inventory of beef type. Of course I needed. They were like, you should probably just by three pallets of the beef diaper. See how that,

though, because a palette of beef diapers is a lot of beef. $7. It's a small product. It's a really, really, uh, that you bought two men. You really did

well there. They were, like, three

pallets will cost you 17 cent per diaper. And but they were like, 200 palates will cost you 13 cent per diaper. So I went ahead, liquidated everything, and I got maximum inventory at low, low cost.

Right. And while you're liquidating, you took it a little too literal with some of your

stuff. Well, I thought you

melted things down.

Uh, So you liquidated your car? Yeah. Liquidated. But your summer home liquidate burned

my summer home to the ground, which actually came in handy

because I was able to do some insurance fraud. Good insurance, Frog insurance for humanity.

Bruce Vilanch, Insurance

frog. Wait. Bus benches. Blanche is doing insurance

now, and he came to help me. Ah, and he made sure I got that money. That's Yeah, We we, uh we said it was a grease fire, which didn't make a ton of sense because it's a fake agent open. Nobody was there.

So you liquidated and you put all your cash into this beef diaper.

I have so much

beef diaper, uh, inventory on and I'm ready to sell it. I know it's gonna sell. Wow.

Have you had any Any sort of big buys? Like, a lot of times. It's like one of the first questions on shark tank. Usually which you didn't get to This portion was Have you got any?

I've been going around

to buy low. I had a meeting with by Low. It's

a grocery store that's very few people, probably Southern grocery

chain. Uh, and, um

Well, er fans out there tweet us a picture of yourself in front of a Bilodeau

If you gotta buy low hit us up for an I g a or even a Harris Teeter Harris Teeter

Art Harris Teeter actually is what we're saying. Um

but yeah, buy low.

Said, uh why? Why? Why? They said why? Why, like our apparently there Ah, meet pads cost less than a cent

less than a cent. That is tough to compete with cars. But I said I said I said We have minor 13 cent, which is

which is huge, and this is a

bit of a new accent you've picked up on the road.

I said, I said I said I said I said I said, Yeah, it's almost like a suffered sucker 10. You know what I mean? Uh, so I said, I said, I said, Why? But they don't stay where you put up

Said Why? No by love.

Why no, By low. Why no by bye. Low. I know. Well, Bill, they were like, What do you mean? First date was

with Milo, y know,

by the wind. The via y know

runs by low. That's why there's so much crazy shit. And by low because, uh, drunk

runs it and he's out of control. Nobody.

Nobody. Nobody uses the term. What

I way ticket from

a loved one.

Great. A geno. That's a whiner. That's

why you're talking shoes busted out the front. You know, I said I said I said why? They said, Why Don't What do you mean? It stays where you put it? Yeah, that seems to be

the first thing you tell people about the beef paper every time. And till this day, I don't understand what you mean.

Well, because the other ones don't

always stay where they are, they slip around, slide around

your sandal. If you put it on the little pink Styrofoam pad, it stays where you put it, and it doesn't come off on the meat. And it's also 300% more absorbent than your

typical meet pad.

And it is 130,000 times more expensive.

Yes, but you've said one of the new sales pitches is you can have dry aged beef in 30 seconds. We'll see now. This is something that everybody told me was a problem. The beef diaper is so absorbing, it's sucking all the read out of the beef, and you're left with a white substance with no nothing on fat. Are you familiar with the Shamwow? Yes, yes. So the shamwow it has similar properties is the

shamwow Eso it? It's sex that blood up

and a lot of people like how when, like limes and bird scooters started, there are all these instagrams that we're just about destroying limes and birds and create away. A lot of people are now posting videos on instagram of using the beef diaper to soak up different messes. Do anything but diaper their beef.

Yes. Apparently there is this video going around where the all of the water in Niagara Falls get sucked up by the beast

has got I think that's fake, right? Fags fake it right now. It's fake. I saw that even happened.

I saw another video. Somebody threw beef diaper in lake. You're on. And now the lake is gone

like you're you're on hoax. You're on to a hope. No, Your Honor, it's Ah, Your Honor. I don't know how about this? You have a right

now. Do you have a beef? Right? Right. Now I have this. This bottle of water, Let's let me see what happens. Yeah. Here, go here. I'm gonna just I'm just gonna put it on.

I didn't even wait. I put it on time. I took it off.

Take it off. I took it off.

Todd. What? Do you so dump water on him? Dump water on him. Oh! Oh,

my God. No. God, your pores air just like oh, to open. I'm always Masson a baby. I understand this is a little bit of a roadblock there to absorb it, but here's what I say. They stay

where you

put and I'm working on the absorption. Okay, Well, I'm I'm where I have the beef diapers in my living room, and we're pumping in ah, different gases to get them to not absorb.

And we were talking

about this the other day all the different ways you can use the beef diaper You're talking about selling one thing called the beef diaper wet that could be used to marinade your beef.

So the beef diaper wet Can you be used to marinate your beef? But I want to say one

thing up top about the beef diaper with it stays where you

put the first thing I can promise you about the beef diaper way. You're not gonna lose any of that state where you put it on your hands. You still hit that classic beef diaper original. Stay where you put it. But now you also have a beef diaper that has been a seasoned with Lowry's way. Have a call with Lowry's. We'll be season, Valerie. Overall, we have a common currently seasoned with currently salt and pepper. OK,

but not that bad. I thought you were gonna say something.

You've got teriyaki on the line. I've got I have a call with teriyaki Coban. Um, I have a call barbecue barbecue. I have a call it,

but you can call me honey mustard

I can hook you up

with with Bobby Q and I can hook you up with my ranch. And if those were interesting to you, absolutely, barbecue on the ranch hand would be

great. And they started radio show. By the way. Absolutely. Pick up the mini bar b que in the ranch and check out the many,

uh, slobs now barbecue in the rancher.

Now, listen, can you

imagine the sucking power that the original beef diaper has the beef diaper wet has that with the opposite. The infusing power.

Oh, it's like one of those flavor injectors at UCO by this a big needle that

rise to this. That's right. It sucks. The pores open and then the liquid goes in. So and a lot of people there's a video going

around where the beep diaper wet. Ah is in the back of a truck in the middle of somewhere in New Mexico, and it causes what everybody is calling an onion powder mushroom cloud. And that's fake, fake fake. It's fake.

Well, can you would. What do you have to say for people who ah, have been posting those videos from down in, ah, New Orleans? And it looks like it's made the levees break again. How dare you What, too soon to my

scandal and you're gonna another one right

too soon after his last year,

I was talking about Katrina. I'm talking about my last scam. I'll just say this. A lot of people are saying you caused the second Katrina. A

lot of people are saying all of the beef diaper scandals are tracking along with the scandals of the Bush administration.

And that's what people are saying because A they're smart and be there listening.

Now what is this I've seen out there? Harper. Waterboarding people in Guantanamo.

That's the beef type fake.

I don't know males. You're in that one.

It's a deep faith,

e. I will say, Bill, I think you got to get these sales on the road because word has gotten out and I know. When I was going from high school to high school, I was in some different towns. But I was in Ah, Small and P. And I saw a poultry maxi pad there. Uh, on, uh, yes,

we are. We're working to get copyrighted because everybody saw this coming. And there's copycat

left. Good idea. Poultry Maxi pad. There's the pork tampon worked before pond. Yeah.

Coupon for you from working Bob. Those air Two different products. There's two different ones. Listen,

pork apart is if you're porcupines, needles start to bleed.

That's right. Oh, it's not a coupon, notes. Oh,

yeah, I mean, there's a copy Cats

all out there. But listen, I am going door to door, door to their door to door. I'm going door to door and there dare everyone to not use the beef. It's called Adorn it air salesman

and I'll tell you everybody, listen her home, they'll say

I don't have

to do a dare you don't But what about a double dare you turn that down?

What about

what happens when you turned down a dare? And everybody in the neighborhood thinks you're a wiener? Yes. Are

you an ordinary? It's

a door did. Air salesman. And I'm getting a lot because when

you have, you know, when that

weird man would come with the vacuum? Absolutely. That's what people respond. Teoh A human being showing up and explaining to them. You know what? I didn't think I needed the beef diaper either. But now that I have the beef diaper, it stays where you put

you put some

recordings on YouTube of you going door to door and some of your interactions with people. I have ways to see your sales pitch.

Absolutely. Yes. I've been uploading these from the beef diaper account. Oh, yeah, but do you use your name on YouTube? You can check it out. Is ah, beef. Just beef diaper. Very, very simple way

allow. Hi. I was wondering if you have a moment to talk beef. I don't know. I'm kind of busy. I don't know

if I want over the

nure. I promise. You want disappointed?

Just all right. You got me. I promise you won't

disappointed. Okay, Just just give me 30 seconds. So it's up. You won't talk beef.

Yeah. So where do you buy ground beef? Oh, I do. Yeah, I just get so

tired of her when it iss.

Really? Yeah, Well, this is really gonna work out for you. Have you heard of the beef diaper? Ah,

yeah. I think I heard my wife talking about that. Sounded No, my So what's up? So So you're interested? Yeah, my wife's been talking about it. And so if there's two of us, um, TV

going loud, New. Oh, that's the TV. Good. Okay, well, let's

get back

to the beef. Okay. So listen, the diaper. The beef diaper is for Well, first of all, what's your biggest problem with the meat pad underneath?

Well, I guess that it's not absorbing

enough for the blood, but it goes all

over the place. Yes, exactly. Baby's diaper stage, please. This is really life. Please. Marty turned down

the tube. Uh

oh. So that's your friend Marty watching TV. Exactly. Okay. I haven't heard them say, like in a character's name.

So what's the deal with the beef diaper data show They're watching. Yeah, they're watching. Trapped in my basement.

Ah, a new show. And they always say it's riel. This Israel. Yeah. The dialogue. Yeah. It's like Angela Lansbury thing.

Okay. Why was. What if I

could interest you in a beef diaper? So this is the beef diaper here when it is a replacement for the meat pad. So when you get home from the store, you unwrap your beef.

Can I go grab some beef? Yes, please. Let's do a little try to grab some beef. You are one. There's blood everywhere down here. Hey, you know, that's a great idea, Tommy.

I would love to suck your blood up.

How? They're referencing talk of things I'm handing you so it doesn't feel like a TV show.

Okay, You want to make a sale? Wait, wait.

I just need the sale. So you're into this with me?

You're You are talking. Teoh is our kidnapper. No, he's four foot seven. Shit that you light brown hair, I guess. One blue eye, one green eye.

Okay. There. Explaining you to a t

wearing a Bulow tie.

Listen, at this point, clearers day, you want to sell a

beef diaper so you don't have on the base.

This isn't

about me. Wait, Hold

on. What? What type of had Oh, they're wrong about that. So it's not you. He took

it off just a moment ago. It's sitting on the banister,

I

think. Okay. What type of shoes is he wearing?

So you're talking

to my TV members,

okay? You're wearing

loafers or what? I call tennis shoes when you're loping

around. That's crazy. You know that's not what you mean TV. You're talking to me right now. Serie. That's not what you made. I'm a salesman, and I have a hotly

You're a sales got up and you have up shut.

Let me down there. I'll take 10 take down

there. Okay? Right. Go ahead. Here's a gun.

Hello, sir. Hi. Hi. You shut out where you shot back. We're not tvo

now. You don't. Hey, did this, Teoh. I'm going to clean this all up in one

family suite with Piper either very high production value of special effects. Bill. What? Or did you meet with that? You uploaded that video. You say that, but not make it. Make

it private bill a lot right now and make it

private. That's what we're actually

did. You hear the guy take 10 beef

diapers at the end? It is a success. Sold right there. First door. I went up Teoh her nervous up top. You won't disappoint people. What do you

sell them for? Also, Howard's thing. 04

dollars each. Okay. So expensive, Bill.

That's what you have to make some money there. 13 cents each. That's gonna be

where? 83 per diaper. Three more

expensive than most of the

beaches. Stress this Enough. It stays where you put it. I cannot stress the Oh, you somewhere you posted you two people on you. That's a narrative that I made a narrative. Can I not make a short film,

Bill? You mean to tell me that? That's so

that we're not really sure They were

special effects. You didn't actually shoot this

way. So you didn't sell 10 beef diapers?

I'm not going to

show just infomercials. I have storylines to them. They have character.

What can I ask you this, Bill? I bought a beef diaper off you. I've got my T bone in the mini fridge here. I took it out a couple seconds ago. And the diaper? It's in a different place.

Don't tell me. Oh,

let me look. Look. No, You moved it. You obviously move it. They stay where you put up.

Bill. Do you have a new Do you have a fresh one? Can I have a fresh ones? Have some ground beef in the main fridge. Here to look. I'm gonna put

beef in there as well.

Do it. Do it. I diaper on a little

pink Styrofoam tray.

Wait. Let me down a marble down. Make sure it's a level surface. Yeah, make sure level

level. Put the ground beef down on the beach

for this little right out. It's Let's let out. It's like OK, Ok, ok, OK, listen, this is a about be a faulty batch. I'm doing a lot of testing right now to get them not to absorb what you just so sometimes if you're never not to absorb it sometimes in my nest there where you put it. But I'm fine. Balance. Things that they are is very Absorb it and say what you put it. But some also may not be very absorbing. No, not stay where you put it there to absorb it. But then they stay where you put up. So I'm finding a balance between were stay where you put him and not to absorb. I don't know this honestly, Can

I be honest. This feels like a big problem

that I don't know if you can handle from Hamilton. I've been

me. We're bringing this

up. Where you getting a maid?

Where am I having a

mayor. They manifest

right here in the beautiful right here. A beautiful

Don't tell me you may have

being made in shop class. I won't. And my Okay? Yes, yes. So I'm

I can't associate with you anymore. Yeah, you're You're using Children, child labor. You killed two people.

We've all killed narrative. It was a narrative short. We'll build now. I'm gonna go hang on a minute.

What were those people's names? Did he say in the video? I'm gonna google, See if there's an obituary

I don't remember, But just look up. Obituary

obituary on my computer. You'll never find

your diaper plus over

scammers ons still out of Philly. What came up on scammers on when I typed obituary? Uh uh. It's ah, faux obituary. It said it's a faux bitch

where I go towards everyone auto by.

That's an expensive newspaper made out of.

You never know

he's gonna get some 55 bucks. Guys, listen. I had

shop class, make a few, all right, But I developed them, and then I bought them. I bottom.

So, what do you trying to say? You have to sell them? Is what you're trying to say.

I am underwater. I am. Currently do you know? Well, knocking on my

door? Which metaphor? If you were actually underwater, you could soak it all up with your crazy beef diapers.

Really funny. That's hilarious. Play around. That's a hilarious player out on words. What a funny play around you guys. You guys just sit up here. Your of you don't really figure your government employees. So are you. I am. And I am underwater. Okay, I'm gonna stop this up. Oh, violent lumps. I beefed. Funny, some of the funny play around. That's

just a funny play

around for May. So stop up a fart. That was a foot bill. You know what? My pins? You know what it's like for first Republican First Republican Bank to show up? I knock on your toe. You you, you're from person. Come up to you know, the big wig on big crowded wick.

First Republican, I woke up with wooden teeth bite marks on my next somebody's biting my neck in the middle of the dance tonight

because their territory dude,

it's chopped to the ground And they said, We're chopping down every cherry tree in your damn lawn until you get the money back.

I I'm freaking out. I've lost all my hair. I'm being on the first time. By just this week, I lost my hair. All of it, for the first time. Look! Oh, my God! Yes! Look at the really May

green stains all over the top. Your head.

I'm ball. It's OK. Thanks, man is played.

He said, Bob, look, everyone

opened the door open. That are Hey, don't open the

door. You don't have to accident in the middle of it.

Hey, students, teachers Ni, I'm bald. I've involved and I'm the sole investor of beef diaper and first Republicans on my ass. I must go. I have to take off. The only way to get myself out of this hole is to dig through it one door at a time. Oh! Oh, my

God! He's putting on an old fashioned vest and a bunch of tweed cell door to doing a chunk. Been out big. Nice. Bigorre. Is that a model t outside. Go two months in a picture

of his wife before he walks out the door.

I'll be back and everybody will be not laughing at me. Well, we laughing at them. Breathe Diaper. What Bill? How long are you living for?

It will definitely take me nine weeks. It will take me nine weeks, I think Give or take 12 way. We love you and we support you and we'll check in with you on the road. Give my model t a crane. Bill. What if your parents ask where you've been? Tell him I'm doing my duty, Sheriff. You want us to tell your dad the sheriff that you're doing your duty? That's a line from the animated Robin Hood he wanted. He won't understand it. Tell him I'm going to be a salesman like him. Oh, wow. That's nice. I'm gonna do. You don't want to tell you. Don't tell it before. You won't have time. I want to have time once the model Deakins going at its top. Ready? Okay. Well, Bill jeans. I guess we'll

low Look at this here. Coming, walking upright

motion. We have to wait. Your parents coming up looks like they know you're leaving. And they want to say bye. No, no, no, no.

Yeah. Goodbye show. No, Teoh.

I don't hear it is, you know. Oh, you. Officer! Officer!

Officer! Officer! What is what is it? What is it? What is

it? Well, sir, first of all, you're wanted for the murder of two people in a basement.

I love you. Before you leave, I just wanted to say I love

you and I don't know, it feels trapped.

It's nice talking. Your father town. Where is that pulled up? Next Bill. Is that a Bronco? Macy, Macy?

They see red over like that cop. 10 to this. 10 to this cup. It happened right in front of you. Goodbye, Hamilton. I will show back up. Having liquidated all of the baby diapers and exonerated myself from the murder of two people is because it's cool. Obviously a narrative. Schardt. Goodby E o Oh, you're Officer Officer, Handle this good. Why Hamilton, he'll come out. Come outside. I'm leaving, Boy. Mr. Cry, baby. Oh, it's the little Australian kids. Great Great slobs know the Australian kids are from the car. Bulan Good bye. Good boy. Mr Gruden this one bad motherfucker. Who's that? The two guys loathe you guys. Friends A shaft. Goodbye. Stay flipped A

well. Stay flippy bill. Say Flipper Bill, Stay flippy Mr Kray v

Theo Thursby for slipping things that stay with you.