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The Teachers talk about Goop, hugging, and Howard's disastrous slam dunk contest. Later, Bishop R.L. Bakes (Jacquis Neal) stops by to save Todd's soul with his holy oil.
sir. I'm way too. Got pulled over on
the way in. No, by a cop. I think so. I hope so. Well, what did he have? Walk us through the transaction.
Your face is white as a sheet.
Or if I mean, you know, you You never know when you deal with these cops what they're going to do If I could spend the rest of my life in prison, you know, I got two strikes against me.
Yeah, of course. Yeah. We all know,
of course. So, uh, what happened? I, um
speeding, running a red light running stop signs
at a car. Stuff
don't say when, Uh, regular manslaughter. Okay. And we nailed all four
eso. You
know, it's a classic, you know, there he's walking up. So to the car, it's absurd. I know, You know, I pulled over, and it's like, I know I took that turn a little fast, and I killed a
guy, and I'm sorry, but is he going to get you for that? That's what I said. It's
like with everything going on in the world right now. By the way, climate change, you know, we're gonna we're gonna bother with stuff like this.
Humanity. You're gonna drive your gas guzzler to give me a ticket in this economy? Slash Climb it.
And so it was just the whole thing. Luckily, they couldn't find the body afterwards. And so, uh, first
time that's happened to you?
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, what can I say? You know, I get accused of things I didn't do a lot. So it's a fix it ticket
taking vehicular manslaughter. Just fix it. What, exactly? Fixing I need
to get the group out of the grill.
I got a group of the grill that
could be a hazards. It's not safe on the road.
It's hazardous group, um, which
is exactly what I call Gwyneth Paltrow's little hazardous project.
But you're
a patron of the website.
Oh, yeah. I bought everything. E thought one of everything. That's why that's what happened. Yeah, it's ah, They're taking advantage of a saps
your hurts. That's
your sap It home goop is taking advantage of you. All their products look good. They seem like good ideas. Great way to be loved. At the country club. You buy him and you realize you're broke. They don't work.
Whatever stuff you buying, I know you were doing that charcoal diet.
I got charcoal diet. Absolutely. I did a lotion diet where you eat the lotion to moisturize you from the inside out. Really didn't do anything.
So you got charcoal emotion inside of you?
Yeah. You know what? I gave me diarrhea.
As you would say, I get diarrhea goop. They gave you a kind
of group. I think
we'll go with the group.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess we all
figured out the mystery of what goop means. Every product they sell you gives you diarrhea. I've tried the, um the bomb. The internal bomb. I've tried it. A What was it? The CBD tincture
eyes on the website. They had a vampire repellent spray.
Yes. You know what it is? When is it garlic water? Guess what? Diarrhea. Thank God Water gave a diarrhea. If you sprints that stuff on your tongue without any food, it's too strong.
Bobo I might be part vamp. Now that I would say that's unlikely. But I see the things
that might actually makes sense if I
knew you're a vampire Euro. Well, the true Barghouti's first of
all, these
also. Every time you come in my classroom. You stand outside the door until I had about you in.
Yeah. I don't want to be rude or killed by the magic that keeps him from entering a room without being invited.
So you're admitting it?
You Oh, no, no, no. I sleep upside down, OK, but you know, very weekend. That's where I got that from. I got it from those guys. I watched a cribs, and the main guy says he sleeps upside down for blood flow. Does knows
you did not. That's exactly loose. You know. You want you editors that I dubbed over,
okay. Oh, really? So that info is not good info? That's no
guy. The guy the Vampire weekend lead singer was just a vampire bat on an episode of Caves Planet Earth
cheese, right. Sleeping up down over a year. I didn't
know that my pregnant you're so good.
I
just recorded dubs over. I just every I did every play on earth I pretended was an episode of MTV's Cribs. Yeah. Yeah. So tell you this.
Well, then I guess I
need to catch up on my cribs. And I guess I'm pretty caught up on planet Earth.
Yeah, you didn't actually think that? Um, Most death hides under a rock for six months and comes out a woman. Did you?
What else was I gonna think? What else? I thought he was a trance. Fish? No, no, no. That's most Steph. But that is it is official Nam most f. Yeah, it is. Over most the fish, the fish that goes into the
cave as a man and comes out of what
I thought he started his most definite as most fish because I saw the similarities. Most f looks a little like a fish in this first looks a little bit like most. I don't think you Jeff well,
he said his have your this album.
I didn't get that far in a court of this thing here.
I just I just was riffing. I was watching play on Earth and riffing on a ziff. It was cribs. Your two
hour. If I took for fact, I'm all topsy turvy.
Well, your vampire a little bit, but I think we should probably get to it today
because sure, come on. Oh,
one of these days I'm going to say kicking and it's gonna mean something. And you guys aren't going to be able to take that away from me, OK? My role
a huge day for you and no one else will care. I'll tell you.
What is it about anybody else caring besides me? Todd? What do you want it so bad? Because I
fancy myself the host of this show. Okay? And by the way, Howard Levis uh, weapons
Teacherslounge, kick it again. You start this under engineer, Kick it again. Way! Stop it! Stop
the thing! And now, when I say kick it right now, that's when we start the song. OK? Oh, there. See? It worked.
Oh, I said we're tracking this in the edit tracking this in the edit because I say it didn't work. I said, Fisher, that came Now I want o arrested Only Pochettino You gonna make me quit? Someday you're gonna make me quit the show some
day, and then it's gonna be to you guys and, you know, get a Bill Cribiore, get Howard Levinson.
I would love it.
Way let the catering three ways instead of four. If I'm gone. Uh, who's the cost? You and Mr Engineer, Your honor. Large pizza. Sustained.
Okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. It's the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I, of course am Howard Happy man. Levis.
Okay, now, Howard, we gave you an assignment last
week. Yes, he did.
Sign it was to give yourself your own nickname.
I did on it and I was happy, man. I said, Happy man. Is it? Is it?
Let's let's go back to the kids Giving the nicknames.
No, I've had a great week. What happened? Better. Miserable. You mentioned I live.
Just been kicking it all over your fucking face.
I lived it this week. I lived the nickname this week.
I don't know. I think you look like Why so serious? I don't think you look like happy, but
I don't know Here, the Joker or
a clown?
I I am happy, man. It z
tell me about her
own thing. It's just
Hey, man, if you're smiling, you can't be sad. It's just Hey, E,
I wish you could see the money that it was so creepy.
Here's what it looked like it looked like if the Joker said, Wait a second I got some issues. You're fucked up and tries to have one of his friends. You looked like the Joker's friend.
I looked like the Joker had tried to become someone else's there.
Yeah,
he came out of his own psychosis to check on.
Okay, well, that's not what happened.
So you're happy, man? What things have happened to you this month? However, this week?
Oh, man, I organized my office. I, uh, have
made me so
happy. No more clutter. Thats yeah, make peaceful. Yeah, I had a kid. I had a kid making 88 on a test, and I was like, That's a
B about a beer. Didn't just draw the letter 80 whenever
you gotta be.
And I had the rest of the class do.
They did as good
as they normally do, which is bad. But one of your
students got
Yes, and it was the dumb one. It was the dumb one. I
don't really know, Gerald.
Yes, it was Gerald.
Use his name, but it was
Gerald Santos got Gerald. I got Gerald Santa's to get a 88 on a biology test and it made me feel great, then went to practice and
Harold. Sand toast, by the way.
Yes. Yes, yes, Santos. Then I went to practice
and because eats toast was sand on it. And that's what his family's named
that. Yeah, they're called that because that
back in the day you used to have your family name used to be What you
I remind
me of the good old days.
Yeah. You came to Ellis Island, and they said, What is your family? Eat And you tell him. And that's your last name, Johnson.
That was Those were the
times where you just come to Ellis Island and you get a nickname. Yeah. Based on who you do
that now, we're stuck with our family name and family. Name could mean a lot. It could be a lot of previous predispositions based on your family name. Yeah, for
example, I have to be the weatherman. Yeah, but I'm not a weatherman. When
your great grand parents came over here from Poland, Poland, they got Ellis Island. They said Okay. What do you do in Poland?
Well, I'm obsessed with the weather. All
right, whether ma'am
there it is. Yeah, but I don't even care for the weather. Yeah, Go outside dressed. However,
you were unaffected by the weather. You're almost like they should make a group documentary about how the weather does not affect you. They It's all mental. They turned me down. They turn to
tear me down. I saw the one they did and I said I can get cold. This is a This is crap. It's group. It's good crap. What I call group earlier diarrhea, diarrhea, this diary. I could get cold here. They said no.
Obviously, Levis, you know, eyes that name means. And
speaking of our names, why don't we actually fully introduced? How did a great job? My name is Sam weatherman, formerly the driver's Ed teacher, student government teacher. But I
got a lot of
jobs around school now. One time security. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here.
All right. Todd. Padre Theater. Um, Yogi. Uh, What's that, Mayor? Well, a picnic basket. Steeler? Yes, I have been convicted in that.
You say, Yogi, you don't mean teacher of yoga?
No. Well,
I I do teach yoga now, or I'm learning yoga teacher. You know, I've been a yoga fan for a long time
now. Are you learning yoga the same way that you learned equipment study. So you go Vacher mistakes and the class correct.
Yeah, I've got this gig where I go a new younger studio and I say, I'm gonna be teaching your class today. Let's get into downward dog on and then I'll try it. You know, hands and knees panting and people kind of push my arms down and put her legs and go, That's down. We're going to go. We're learning. So it's night
and everybody's learning.
Everybody's learning there. Andi. I've taken a lot of the messages and the vibes of yoga and put it into the school. I don't know if you guys saw, but the big news said My classroom is the wall of gratitude. Yeah, what could go right on the wall? What they're grateful for. A lot of
kids aren't really taken taking it very seriously.
Okay, let's not be
funny with the wall of gratitude. I'm really trying here.
That's a lot of fat itude. If we want to be honest, it has been changed pretty quick. Okay? Lof attitude. A joke's a factor.
It's a lot of fat jokes, and frankly, I don't like the body shaming.
I don't
know it's bad.
I don't neither
will say it here on the pot if you're listening. Kids stop making fun of each other's bodies,
especially when you
look the way you do. You are now prize
tags. It's a shame it's ones. Feel shame about their own bodies. Putting the fat jokes. Okay, be careful. Oh, by the way, if someone next to
you for being fat, it's because they are worried about being fat or war once, so they're actually shaming themselves. I'm
talking to you, Shannon Erickson. Whoa! I saw what you wrote on there. I wonder why Sharon Erickson called me fat. Oh, huh. Maybe because
their parents put a ton of pressure on her and she never gets to enjoy her food. And she wants to be a ballerina and is never going to succeed. Now, who's grateful? Shannon And now who is a fat, bad teacher who belittles Children
criticism of you? So it wasn't your if that was the tiny part, but bad in late matter. What I think it just said
you're a bad teacher and but because it was on the wall of fat itude here, it's assumed that she said
so Shannon. I might have taken a little too
far with that stuff, and I don't really mean it. So rewind and listen to it again. But with me, not meaning at this time around, it's ironic. It's funny.
Well, I think it's
a beautiful exercise, especially from your new sort of awakened state.
I'm very awake.
Have a wall of gratitude. I've obviously been awakened like you before. I'm asleep, and you just got to be careful. You got to be careful when you're so open of what does creep in. And you have to make sure that you're being grateful. Not, I don't know, hoarding
o of of emotions and stuff.
Emotions,
you know, with great yoga power comes great, Yogi Response? Absolutely.
I and I can
feel it. I mean, yeah, I'm a walking open wound a little bit. Yeah. Trophy display bruises on. Um, you know,
I don't believe that you're getting any better, and your better. Yeah, but I'm waiting here, but hopes the phone will ring, But I'm thinking awful things on. I don't know the rest, so I'm pretty sure if you'll note
Okay. That's what he said. You really do led. Sorry, Dashboard. confessional professional rift there. Um, my friends, You know, I I hear you, Sam. I don't think I'm going to go down the same road, but I appreciate the warning on. One thing I'm grateful for is a friend looking out for May. You welcome. Give me a hug.
Oh, you know, Todd, I'm gonna say this because it just struck me. This is the first time any of the four of us have ever hugged.
Whoa. I'd love to get in on
that. And 100. Let's just do one at a time, okay? Wow. I can't believe we've never embraced physically. This is really nice. What is it about being a man that makes you love your friends but want to keep him 200 feet away?
I don't know. But it's nice to be this close to you. And I want to tell you this right now. Yeah. Squeeze. I I feel so warm and welcoming your arms right
now. I just say that hot tamale. So I'm pretty warm. That's what
it is. Candy earth.
I know. It was a really hot, spicy
tomato. You've been going to the tamale Lady outfront who's making hot tamale tamales, Right. So it's kind of a hot tomorrow. Masa Corn Maxima.
That's right. Corner. And yeah, well, it's filled with hot tamales. Yes, the candy. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's spicy and sweet, and they shouldn't be sounding right outside the school. The line for these things is long with these kids.
Oh, yeah? You can't. You take these into a movie theater and it'll stink up the place.
Uh, speaking of
stinking up the place, how's your new hot classroom? Because I have
seen you
tune be crabs.
Dude, I've been doing Bagram Theatre teaching theater classes and stuff, and it's really good. I think people really connecting with themselves. A lot of people are saying maybe if you're going to take this guy's name, you should watch the documentary that everyone's talking about.
And I'm like you. You're
so busy. And I know how documentaries can misrepresent people. You all know How is Mr Represented on the drinks to, um and obviously finding the Weber leaves
Will, you were
represented just like Durst. Yeah, it was almost a photo
so different.
You're building your big No. Was you birth way
more than that? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, may have been burned in the past 25 years. And is the baby okay? Well,
yeah, I I will say I'm really proud of you for expanding your horizons again, waking up to the true person that you are on becoming a Yogi. I am a little worried that the constant heat is really unhealthy for you at your age.
No, it's been great for me, actually. I'm I'm so I've losing weight. I wasn't waterway
losing weight and your loopy,
Uh hey, look at me, man way we're doing a, um We're working really hard on someplace. Somehow players were doing hot, hot l Baltimore. Um um which is I'm realizing so specific of a reference.
Are you doing Katima Really hot tin roof
shot on a behavior Really hot tin roof we're doing? Yeah, which is So we're doing big hot Daddy. I'm casting Big hot daddy right now on that. I'm casting Hot Brick.
Who's gonna play big hot daddy? Well, I got a guess,
But if someone can either be bigger, hotter or daddy or than may they got the role. But right now, that's Ah, I got the cane. I got the linen suit. And I got the djinn Djinn to up mint julep
gin. Tulip. I think you're
pouring alcohol in a flower and eating it.
It's a seven play of my friends
South eats flowers doused in alcohol,
and I Well, I don't know, but you could tell I did some accent work with Daniel Craig on the set of Knives out and with Kevin Spacey on the set of his home.
Those were the two, the two parts of both those things that I didn't buy.
Yeah. What are you talking about? Big hot data knows big hot dead and knows how to talk in this.
I hope you get over this fast. I do not want you stuck in
this. You cancel this play.
Well, I'll tell you what we're doing. Cat on a really hot tin roof on and And you can bet your chickens that they will hatch and the play will be fantastic. No,
I bet your chickens that they will have.
And it's just a sudden turn of phrase that we do in the deep.
So what do you think you're going, t bring Teoh Dio? You know I'm just
talking like I mean cement to fail
And if a in your
Gunma like we're doing occasion styled ends of the deep side on Come on out ahead on a really hot tin roof with Todd Padres, Big hot daddy and let someone else
can again This is a yoga slash play
120 degrees in the studio you'll be doing yoga will be doing theater. And you know what? Their cat on a hot tin roof. We're doing it in repertory with some other plays. Of course. Well,
that's awesome. You can't
just do one play. Well, you know, you so many plays at once, Todd. I feel like you spread yourself so thin.
Oh, thank you. Oh, so it's not the wall off attitude, is it? I am thin. It's happening. And I'm not worried about my body. So don't even bring it up again.
Well, I would like to put something on your wall of gratitude A pleasing. Can I tell you guys what I'm grateful for? Looking shirt. My good friend Bill and I miss him. Yeah, I miss
it every day, Mrs Ass. Oh, we miss Bill over. So I honestly, I
hated him until he left. You know, what you got to let you do? Get a
telegram from Bill.
That's right. Uh, second telegram. Trying
to open it in front of your
whole last one said beef, diaper movie. A period
we couldn't. We still do not know what that we
don't. We're not sure if the beef diaper moves and doesn't stay where you put
it. I'm not sure about there is No.
If there's one thing that I know about the beef diaper, it is that it stays where you put it.
Well, I can't be what
it means. I
hope not. Well,
so let's check out this next term. If the telegram says
and you don't have to do that accent for us, Todd, you could
drop. Actually, it feels nice to be back in character deeps Okay. All right. Just read the telegram, telegram. Open it up here again. It's
so great to hear from Bill. I love that he sends us all right. Word.
Don't you think it's a send wars ending
word? I'm reading the telegram. He's look at this, Sending word, things, looking up. Help.
Okay, okay. We gotta decide for God's word. First of all, you know.
Here, look at this
sitting word. Your look at this was not me talking. It was right. Send the word here. Look at this. Things look it up.
Okay, well, I got it. I don't know how to decide for that. Things looking up is positive.
That twists and turns a lot because because the help at the end makes you question whether
maybe the help means he's expanding. Maybe he's going to hire some help. He's going beef diaper, and it's hit a shark tank. And he needs, ah, reinforcement. Now,
that's interesting. Didn't call us. Yeah, because I've been
watching Shark Tank to see if he ends up back on. They're trying to get to hit again, and I haven't seen him on there, but again, they do. They were court episodes months in advance, and we might not even know about that for years.
Maybe if he does the love shark tank, it will air as the shooting. But this one, this one he may have previous.
I think you're having fun with the accident. Where Tom,
What are you talking about? I feel like you're over it. I'm any Angie's committee.
I am deep in character, and I don't even know who told is anymore.
So you've become a full yogi. And this is how you sound. You sound like Foghorn Leghorn.
Sound like Big Daddy in the South. That's big, Daddy.
Well, they don't Do you get this out.
Well, they do in our production of 10 on a really hot tin roof playing this week at the big room theater.
Okay, well, okay, So things were going good. Things are looking up. Help! Help! Things were looking up. Help. OK, so the beef diaper is successful.
Yeah. You gotta
think he's help.
Makes me wonder.
Maybe help is a personal Maybe there's something personal going on, You know, he left a lot behind,
maybe started his family in the Beatles. You know, I was here way through Is there?
May be helped by the Beatles. Came on
his last time. We thought maybe move was him talking to a passer by.
But now that
I'm thinking about it may be that ludicrous song came on. Move, bitch! Get out West,
right? Maybe that was
they caught him just after the movie. You don't know what these air saying. I just hope that our dear
friend Bill It's okay, Bill of your conditioning for the place. Sam. Oh, my God. I'm getting the vapors. And ladies and gentlemen, we have our Maggie the cat. Yes, Yes! Oh, Maggie! Maggie! The
camp bled by Sam Weatherman. And I am sorry to uh, Trita Albertson, you are fire.
My God, will, I do declare
I have the vapors up here with one other teacher.
Oh, magic! Oh, money. Yes, Foghorn. Big big day. Big hot daddy. Now, how
would, uh, last week, you know you were struggling with the You know, the basketball team inspected your son's
way did win the game. Ah, but it was Ah, it was It was tough. Ah, is a tough time. And this week, you know, things took a turn. Ah, little bit.
What? Ah, lot of people wondering if they should have a high school All star game, But you insisted we need a slam dunk contest.
I did. I did, because I figured, Let's head let the kids have some fun, right? You know, a lot of people say the funnest part about the n b. A All Star game is to slam dunk contest reveals contest. Three
kids saw the All Star Game last month and saw some players jumping over. Taco fell the seven foot five? Yeah. And the place jumping over chance the rapper jumping over people. It did not go as well at your slam dunk. Now,
as you were
supposed to be, jumped over. But you got jumped. I remember you got jumped on.
I jumped. And here's the thing, guys. When you're holding the ball for a kid to jump over and dunk on, you don't get spooked. Because if you get spooked, it's gonna cause trouble
because you've got
spooked and accidentally jumped.
I jumped with because in my head I was just saying, Stay here. He's gonna jump over you Stay here. Is going to over. Stay here, Stay here. He's gonna jump. Stay here. Jump, jump, jump Turned into jump in my head He comes, I jump up, I try to dunk. Why? I'm standing right under the rim I jump up, try to dunk He jumps over me the same time I dunk him Yeah,
that's right. You jumped up and you don't Our star player.
I did hurt him. Uh,
not Just heard him killed him.
Flattened between the man and the rim.
It was It was a rough time,
and it was a rough time. But you said the show must go on
another dog. Just
dunk. Next, kid. Come on. A dunk.
I'm surely
you're telling yourself, okay? Just don't move.
Yeah, I'm saying, Hey, you
don't
even have to be involved.
Stay here because that's kind of weird. You're just saying Don't Don't
move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Is I send it over my head. He comes at me, get spooked, and I I think he's gonna go left. But he actually goes, right? I ran to the right, ran right into him, Knocked him back 15 20 feet. That's right on the land. Dunked
him and he died in the hoop
game. He bad step
because you say, Well, someone's got a dark something here.
Yeah, dribble out of about. The kids
are going to be upset if nobody hits this dunk.
So its support. Here come the, um, tease here in the ambulance.
And I say bad guys
said because you think that they are students in costume doing some sort of dunk,
right? I thought I thought it was a proper thing because, you know, it's sometimes they'll bring a mascot out or they'll bring out, like kids dressed up as, ah, cheerleaders or whatever. Uh, and
shop these guys, which support
you. Confuse shooting the basketball was shooting a gun, right? Killed debt left shrimp was in the building,
right? And but for you ate that left trip. Sorry. Oh, you didn't I?
Well, here's the confusion that left shrimp. I thought somebody had left that shrimp out, But it turns out debt left Shrimp was a guy. And so
he wasn't even in the building. You just ate debt. Left shirt. I thought I was eating that leftover shrimp. Oh, backward.
No, it was a guy. It was a guy.
You didn't kill That official
you write Della from
I killed in a dead lift shrimp
because somebody
had that shirt left over. And if you have that shrimp leftover, don't put it next to Dentler shrimps
added to the right.
Yeah,
I said it a debt. Write shrimp
when we know left shark and right shark. That left trip
and we know baby
shack Do do do Do do de
Oh, that's exactly right. Time now it
was rough, but luckily, Derek Slam dunk contests were in international waters. You know that's the law. It's basketball rules. So you cannot be charged for
murder? No, and I was great. I think the kids are dealing with the trauma of This was good. We had a bye week. I didn't have a game. But we do have a game coming up next week that I'm pretty excited about. Last time Bills, Bills team faced this team. They lost by 67 points on and I'm just hoping to close. The gap is what I've been preaching. Always. Let's close. The gaps
by Western is evident. That's a weird
way. Lose by less than 67. It's an improvement from last time. They have the exact same team. We have the exact same team since the last time we played. I miss a few people. Might as well. Yeah, well, a
couple of the the dead kids
come of our best players.
You know, Silver lining. The science program is pretty happy to have those extra skeletons. UK science programs not after Ponyo Costco
complaints for three years Now that the skeletons we've got, we've got adult skeletons every class. How do we learn off of high school?
And how do we learn? Why are we
gonna learn off these identical plastic skeletons? Finally, we have a big bone skeleton to
write and and, of course, with traumatic bone injuries. Uh, which are unique and interesting way Can show what? What a fracture looks like on an actual skeleton. We can show what a cracked skull looks like. We can show separated ribs. We can show a dislocated pelvis weekend. We can show Ah, snapped tibia and fibula.
You just talk about all the with all the parts that you broke. When you come to
see, I coordinated accordion to this kid way. I
forgot to mention this part. It's kind
of a back and forth, back and forth over the length of his body. And this kid was tall because he could dunk in high school needs 6364 And I mean, this kid folded over 89 times.
Well, let's not forget about the kid that went right through the net like cheese through a greater that's there. And we all know how close to snack bars to the door of the jihad accidentally went into a case a
lot of people gets. A lot of people complained about the case ideas. It is not good. We I apologize, right? How
one, of course
are snack bar being the first rate people? If they are, they made him another case. India gratis, gratis.
That's the snack bar has been doing good work ever since you took a team.
Yes, because I know that that's part of the experience. That's right. A good a good concession stand is part of the basketball. Did
you stop eating all the Eminem's well,
So you keep one. Listen,
if you fix all the problems at once, you're gonna fail it. Some of them I choose to fix the fixable problems and still eat Mammon
because there's no way I'm not gonna.
There's no let's just no change anything about my life that you want to. I'm eating my bag of M and M's every
56. You can take the guy away from the M and M six of them. He's gonna find its way back to the Eminem's medium to eat his six PM anus. It's just gonna happen, guys,
my 6 p.m. and my little treat at the end of my day,
said in the day ends at six PM
Yes, What time is it?
6 p.m. and M. That's what Jordan's Bulls said.
That's what the Jordan's Bulls said. Yeah,
well, I got Teoh take a urination break.
And what do we call that, folks?
We'll be right
back. Stick around. This is gonna be a
long break. We'll see after the end.
All right, folks, thanks so much for Ah sticking it out through the break. We appreciate it. You know, we're really excited. Ah, in the lounge today, cause we've got a guest unlike any guests we've had before. You know, you can you get here in the background. Uh, a lot of y'all don't. You know, we are not a religious school at all, but we like to have somebody around campus to sort of tend Teoh people who have sort of spiritually needs if necessary. Ah, and of course, that is Mr Bishop, R l bakes. Hey, added a Mr I don't think I had The bishop is the missile business of
Is that the Lord gave me a name in this Bishop. You know how to call me Mr is just Bishop. Thank you. Thank you for your respect. Of
course. Bishop makes Bishop Banks is the biggest. Yes, Bishop bakes. We really appreciate you coming in spending some time with us today
before we get started. Let us pray. Okay. I
think maybe our first prayer on the lower
do a man a man now everybody name.
Amen. Amen. Now everybody I get on board with
that is the sort of blessing implied there like, is it you just say a man to know that God forgot to be listening to anything you're thinking. There wasn't any content to that.
You know, God knows what's in our hearts. He knows what's in our hearts and he knows was in our wallets. Everybody. Hey,
real quick. The temperature feels all right in here for me, But you are sweating profusely and you're already fanning yourself. Do you want
tea? Oh, no, no, no.
Okay, man, All I need is a silk robe to go across my back. I need I need a handkerchief. Go. And I need I need the tide and often basket to be passed around. Just this lounge.
Tithing baskets eso early.
Already starting with the dollar way.
Got a couple spare bucks. We appreciate your time. We don't try to do the show. So
what? My sweat with these dollar bills. Well,
good luck paying with us later. No mikes except a weapon.
Let him try before you try to use them Is tender. Uh, now Bishop makes Ah, a lot of people. Do you think it's unusual that ah, public school would have a ah sort of resident religious figure? Because, you know, chip separation of church and state, It's it or all that kind of stuff.
You know, God doesn't believe in the separation of church and state.
Well, of course not
way did it. God loves himself, Love. Yes. Yes. So if he
doesn't believe in it, wash it, I
Well, that's a bishop. You know, A lot of people believe different things in different gods even believe different things. I'm sure you've heard that. What? Some point in your
life about there being many other
gods in other systems, religion. There's other gods.
Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm Jewish, non practicing, but ah, but culturally Jewish. And you know, our God does have a separation of church and state for me. That's what I believe I could. Don't don't hold me to that. But
we are going to save you before we finish this
FSO. I would love that right on my forehead way. Just a palm on your foreheads.
Good moment for
banks. I'll tell you, you're not the first person to say that. And you, but you and it won't work.
He's got a
palm frond. On the other hand, looks like he's wearing back.
Boy, I'd love to get what you want. You need some prayer, boy. Hold on. Let me get my oil. Oil. This is just olive oil that I prayed over last night's kind to make it holy oil.
So any holy only all you pray over becomes
comes. Holy oil.
Okay, see you digging into their grocery bag of potatoes. Thing
is what I make for my communion wafers.
Rice, potato potatoes with When you pray
over him, they become the body of Jesus Christ. That's interesting. That's what I tell all the students when they walk through the door.
Well, Bishop, are I'll tell you, I'm going to come to one your services. If the sacrament is that potato trip.
If the sacrament is crispy. Signed me. And if it's if it's wrong
I don't know.
First, you need to be saved.
All right, well, you know, you could try to save May I? You know, I don't know if you do what sex you are you speaking in tongues? But I regularly have conversations and tongues with
people. So you should not have said that. Here we go. Put your hands up. Everybody Put your hands up your wallets. No, no, no, no. The good the good Bishop bakes does not take wallets. You give me your wallet. I don't take, but all right, now, here we go. I'm going to start speaking in the tongues. Alright? Hobble shamble. Have a bossy. All
right. A man way. Supposed to jump in like talking. Sorry. Did I Did I interrupt? Yes, you did that. She did? Yeah. Are you wanting
us to just let the Lord speak through us? And if Tung's happen, that happens. Are we supposed to quietly listen?
You're supposed to quietly listen, But if the Holy Ghost gets inside of you and you have to speak it, then
just let it out. I assume
it will.
Now I know my talks right and knows that was those
of Jewish time. That's right there.
That's why Tom started screaming. That
was the Holy Ghost. Holla! Go, go, go! Uh, Bishop, um, you know, we are. Even though we do like to do separation of church and state, it is good to have you on campus have done a few last rites more than we would like to have on the school campus. But it's nice to have you there for those
you see in the Christian faith. We call it the homecoming word.
The homecoming word
is not the last rites. The homecoming, homecoming war,
Is that right? Yes. I did not know that. I
mean, that's a much sweeter wayto look at it, and
you're not. You're not leaving earth. You're nothing standing home to have
your real life is beginning. That's
No, no, no. I think you guys misunderstand. It is the homecoming word, which is the last thing you hear before you go to the homecoming dance.
Oh, okay. So big line. That is where most people die.
Most people died at the home. They are homecoming dance. Yes. Yeah, it was, uh and that's Ah, I'll take some of the responsibility. That, of course, Sam will take some, But a lot of
that I won't take any. I thought I handled myself perfectly.
Well, you never take responsibility
that you tight. If you're taking a superior classes,
you know who else doesn't take responsibility? Jesus, the devil.
Oh! Whoa. Totally wrong with you, Indefinitely, ballpark. You're in the
ballpark, you see, Lucifer and Jesus used to know each other, but they, you know, fault.
Because Lucifer was so beautiful. Jealous? Is that right?
What? Lucifer, Lucifer is an ugly man.
What do you think of Lucifer when you look at
Lucifer? Your picture right here. What? What comes out of your body? Hobo? Some double
CEO me dio God, the Lord must have struck both of
us. I wasn't just playing along.
I see. That is the Holy Ghost. That when it it is young man.
So I felt I felt it from my hair to my toe.
NRL looks like doesn't have a silk rope. So threw a towel on top.
Yes, a damp towel. I think I saw you drying your car outside.
I had to drive my Tesla. My 2000 and 22 test. Let
it is right to. So you've got a future. Tests
have a
Fugett testament, so that's that doesn't bring
them back to the ties. Of course. Had us ties just now for a buck each. Which is his napkins. And we have after the homecoming dance you set up a tithing dance right after that was first students to bring their parents to if they wanted.
And that was if they wanted to leave the homecoming dance. They have You intend
the 10 the tithing days? Yes. You see, I put a couple of blocks, so I put the Jesus lots on the door.
Okay, you said locks and
well, idea. Put a combination lock on it, which is easily breakable, which you can't break. The Jesus last
thing. A key lock, just a lock and a combination lock is a Jesus like yes, Okay.
With the Jesus locking and said I am not giving you the Lord's combination until you agree to go to the time and day.
I'll say a lot of people ended up tithing, but then you were a little too obvious. The kids put in 666 and that was the That was the code to break the Jesus,
which is funny
that Jesus would pick that as a coat because that's the mark of the
beast. Well, listen
here. Now, Uh, the 66 it's was the numbers that God made first, just God made over. Whenever guys make some things first, they are godly.
And so and so you Are you saying that Satan, ironically, 666 as like like to stick it to God? Yes, he does.
This is just like me and Tony Ku. Coach, I was set him and Tony Ku coach ripped me off, and I was like, seven is my number. Tony, I'm the three point shooter here, and he's like, Well, I'm on the bulls now. Seven
Tony Cocoa Did you really did. I did. He came over here from Croatia, and I don't know what they believe over there. Like,
did you ask him? Did you Did you ask? Oh, he tried
to tell me, and I said, I don't want to know why we only believe in Jesus here and one Got
it was what would you say That Tony, his prayers were as accurate is three pointers.
Ah, they were 42%.
Okay, Eyes that good for prayer. It's good for threes.
See? Jesus. Hey. Approves 100% of
the Okay, Tony was
Wait. So, to be good
at prayers, you have to be 100% of to be 100%. You can't miss even
a little UK PMIs one
prayer. Wow. Okay, that seems like that seems tough because I forget I forget toe, uh, wash my face in the morning. So the idea that I could sure if I could get ah, prayer, right?
Every single
forget to wash your face is the right term. You sort of get dirtier after bed before school.
You? What do you mean?
What do you think? I
don't know. It feels like you do more than just forget to wash. It feels like your morning routine is rolling in the dirt outside.
Well, not outside. Well, let me actually something. No, young man. Okay. Do you not want to wash your face? I just It just slips
my mind because I could help you with that. Oh, there we go, Bishop.
Now, I got me some other hole. If I have some other holy oil in my hold on. Let me reach him back. And I think this is canola oil that I blessed for 24 hours. OK, olive oil. I only need five minutes of blessing. Canola, you need 24. So
that's holy canola oil.
Holy
canola oil. Now I can spray with this Holy cannoli oil. You will never have to wash your face again.
So in the name of Jesus plans do want
mail all over your face.
There was a but though
Yes, yes, yes. But you see, if you want the holy blessings of the Almighty, you do have to pay tithes and offerings so I can
give you five bucks to
splash for this. What? Does this have a denomination on it or sort of whatever you can
get? Limit. Let me actually something. How much money do you make here at the Hamilton? How? I
never answer this question. Honestly, I've heard
what? Don't say how much your full I'm not
scared for, you know, I make $27,000 a year.
Oh ho. A man a man.
If you won't, there's cola canola oil. You need to pay 10% of that
2700 bucks. Now you should know that our hold on air to the Levi's fortune although he is worth he's worth 500 million.
Didn't say 10%. I'm it 10% times full 100 need to pay
4% of what he makes. You
know what? Your teacher's salary.
What? The friends. Which part of Pemba asked The bishop is using, um, are we going parenthetical on the 10%? What do we weigh? Rules applying them.
No, no, no, no. Jesus. Don't believe in that map. No
way. Have separation of church.
Believes. And one the only number that Jesus believes in is two and three. He the animals went on the boat. Too bad to, uh, and there's three of us. God, Jesus. In the three of them, I should say
I represent folded yourself into the trinity. Oh. Oh, You've been trying to
convince everyone at school that you are part of the divinity. Well, not just that you speak to God, but that you're one of them.
Well, I'm trying to let people know I'm trying to tell you the secrets, but people don't believe me. People just single giggles. Crazy old Bishop, R l bakes. A
lot of people are saying, You know, if you are a deity, why you're always hurt so much. Why do you walk with a limp? You often complained about how hungry you are.
Things are just things that they say.
You know, a deity wouldn't have these problems,
right? Right. Well, my knees always heard cause I'm always on my knees praying.
Sort of comes with the term
on concrete or something. It's cold. Well, yeah. Then
turn the other
knee. Yes, that's that is the same in the
fishies to be she. You said the fish is making up a lot of this religion.
No, no, no, no,
no. She's What are you talking about? You know, just a way for knowledge. It's that IFI she's
is inches away from being about poop. It's
either it's either fish or poop, or maybe both
on the good is a block is a book in the good book.
You know what they heard? What they said about the book of feces
stinks, you know? Very good. Hold on. I'm gonna take them tongues back that
you spoke. So do not take my tongue's back. Those were authentic.
All right, all right. That's right. Then together one. Okay. Eyes is a part of the deity. I can take those tongues back.
Speaking of injuries, obviously, your knee problems. You do some healings that some of your services?
Absolutely. I don't know. I think I
did see the
Guinness headline last week that you have now knocked out the most old women that you were trying to get out of their wheelchairs when you hit him in the forehead.
Let me tell you something. How else you go know if your needs work. If I don't knock you out
of your chair on, then say everybody get back. Everybody get up herself
that I do it. And people try to have that. You know, in a couple of student, a couple students here from Hamilton came to my church and I said, I don't help. I know you got being taught at the school to help your fellow old man and old woman. It's right. But when I push out, you let the Lord help. And that's
it. You're so big
preface. I'm gonna put your old lady out of her wheelchair when I push
her
out. Don't help
you. Don't even see you. Don't even hide it. As like I'm gonna heal this woman. You just say I'm gonna push this woman ahead of her wheelchair.
Night is healing now, you know,
Because what you don't know is I pray over the ground she follow. Oh, lesson Ground is blessed ground.
Yeah, I get that. I understand that she falls on the blessed ground. The blessed ground blesses her knees. She stand again. I get it.
What about when you're when you're doing one of your demonstrations and you'll walk up and you'll say, I know what's inside of you and your finally going to be free from your father and they go? I don't know. Probably my dad. You've missed. You've just you miss a lot of what these people's
let's make with. Let me tell you, I know how bad fathers are. You know, I serve a father that sent his son down to Earth to be a killed
you. The first thing you remember
all my day is the first bad dad. He told me that himself. I don't relate to this. Now I know that those people are lying a man. Amen.
They're lying about their problems with their father.
Oh, yes. Everybody has problems with their father.
Well, in this
room Yes, I would say that That is true.
All around the world,
statues crumble for
you, huh? Statues crumble for me. You just
sing that song a lot. So sometimes we're not sure if you're breaking into
your second sugar rates fly, I would say every
service. I don't know what you it and I'm singing Kirk Franklin melodies from heaven
I ta your singing Fly by sugar
No, I'm singing I'm singing
Kirk Franklin Silver and Gold I that you think that that's what you're saying? No. You know what the words that
are coming out of your mouth are? I just want to fly. Fly a Hi. Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi. Hi. Little pot
sinking. Hosting a Kirk Franklin stump. It is,
You know, a lot of names of Kirk Franklin. You end up singing someone with bleached hairs lyrics Mark McGrath or
smash mouth. I've heard you sing smash mouth
to. Yeah, he let us pray. Okay. Yeah, that's pray respectfully. All right, now, a mayday. Mayday.
A big turkey. All
right. Okay. We're gonna get a bite of that.
What you need to know. This is only for
bishops. Thistles! The Bishop. Turkey Bishop. With no other bishops here, you could eat that all tech. Yes, £21 turkey. Tell me. Got whole tech the heart of God turning into the beast. That's the whole
thing, The Lord for this turkey.
You're praying again. Are you standing by the turn?
I'm just happy.
Bishop, Um, I got to say this, um You if what you and your religion kind of presents to the world is what you believe. I think you're gonna think you're in the room with some humans. You
took a breath before you say, actually, because that was the devil coming up out of still speaking them Jewish toe.
If the if the devil is burps than the devil has been in 25
years, only 25.
Well, and is a baby. Yeah, that might have been the devil trying to get it. If that's the case and you can get the devil out of me, I would love to get rid of this
so I can't
get the devil out of terms. Is warning? I can. I can. Would you like to know how to get the devil outta Koreans, please. All right, all right. I need you to sing word
for word.
And the power of the Lord is here.
Okay? And this is a song.
This is a song
and I have to know what
you have to sing it Word for word. And if you don't know it, you can reach until your pocket amisom times and offering. And I'll just put the holy Spirit over here, and then no more birds will be in your body.
If I try the song and I fail, then I pay you the same amount or
no, you pay me more.
Okay. Shit. I just had to tell you what's in my pocket.
Yes. I
think you can do it, Todd. I think you can do it. Here we go. You know the words
legion. This is good way
of the load, Todd. Looking hard to the bishop to try lipstick. The all around the statues crumble for Lord, That was the right song that was
fly by sugar. No, but from fly
below that was the power of the Lord. That was a power. The Lord, by my man
by man made by men in
a minute, but driving. I think
your impact on campus has been really,
really well, thank you, little thing.
And it's been really nice. I've seen a lot of kids who were sort of it's not pull punches. Got their full God have gone to you for on our session two hour session and they come out looking chipper.
Yes, slobs will
know that we we don't We don't love the got
you. The school, honestly, is your medal for you. Get rid of these.
Well, you know, I believe that is the old got conversion therapy.
Really? I would love to hear about.
Well, you see, what we do is you come on in and we'd watch First we watch about 14. I was a Joel Olstein, OK? And then I opened up credit cards in all the kids names. Okay. And then I get the Social Security's Wow, I get they their their full names first middle and last. I get the addresses and then open up missing, discovers I opened up some visas, opened up some mastercards, and I take all the cash advances out, and I tell him day I healed.
So this is how you get the got out of people
who have
no money I can't afford. They can't afford, can be got without the makeup. Biggest
expensive. We all know this. You cannot get $25 invaders in T shirts.
Really smooth. Lawyer told me that to do that himself
Can I ask
you a question? And I just want to cut to the core here. How much you're worth? How
much of my work?
How much are you worth? You seeing that Churches?
Small. Yes. 14 people that much. You drive a Tesla 2022? Yes. You just look like you're dripping and money.
No, I'm dripping in prosperity. Now what I am worth cannot be quantified in the number. Okay, You see what? He'll
be easily quantified.
Whatever your time. I'm
not. Number of dollars.
Yeah. Oh, well, you see, the good Lord doesn't believe in number for the dollars, But if he wants to put a number of of dollars own it. I would say that I am worth about seven of sense of dollars. Seven numbers. So millions Well
up to like, 99 million
nine 99 9,909,999.
Hold on a
fish up.
Don't be saying when we put in my business out on the street.
Well, because if it was all nines in a row, you turned that upside down and you've got the market would be a couple times over.
Told you sold at the market. A beast is not really day. God made those numbers and they're now Iago made me say a sermon up in here. God made those
numbers. And what God makes a number. The numbers shall not be read. Conned by the devil. I feel it. I feel it from your Bible shot babble. See, I feel it. It's natural.
And it's true to
listen at them
now. Is that what? Did you have a little conversation and talking, right?
So you don't know what we just
exactly way said some nasty stuff
and crashing. Sam would like to know what's him.
I know what I
said, maybe and knows what you said.
But I want to talk about to Jack Black's talking to each other.
Oh, Jack. Black is army of God. That's right. The army of God, Is it that in heaven before you get through the gates. You gotta pass 14 Jack blacks
really? From each like stage of his career
stage of his career with your orange County Jack Black, your School of rock Jack Black King comb, tame contact.
Got your Goebbels, Gulliver, your
Goebbels for the first. But the last one you have to pass is the cable guy, Jack.
Wow! Him in that You scenes as friend of the main character, Jack. Yeah, Lawrence! Trying to talk you out of a bad
decision. That's
going to be the hardest one
of all. Just one. Nobody said heaven is easy
to tell that one has potential but it's not fully realized. It hasn't given all the opportunity.
You know what I think you owe your stop Feels it should be Louis.
Now that was only half Jewish tongues. No, it up. The rest was good. Old
Christodoulou, You
do not be Jewish any more By the end of the succession.
This is like that Janet Jackson Justin Timberlake song.
I don't have
you naked by the end of this song,
But have you not Jewish? But this is so I won't get me banned from the Super Bowl.
Something else. Well, though I'm sure you never My kids.
Well, now, Pastor R L Bishop. Excuse me. If
you have to say
one thing that you're looking for from the kids, you know, change or growth or a new perspective that you want to see out of our young ones, What would that be? A
willingness to gear just to everybody or no noted, um, to me willingness to give to me
because, you see, I am the moral compass here of Hamilton on,
Do you? All right, Now, let me ask you guys something. You want
your Children to go out and live productive lives, right? Yeah. Thats profession. Yeah, you know, And you, you know, your basketball team and generally not good. Well, the okay,
there's horrible. OK,
we've won. We've won
before. Better under
your tutelage.
A little bit better now with my two to Litsch. I can make your basketball team, but I can make the kids prosper when they leave these doors. And all you got to do is pay me three simple payments of 49 99 plus it and
started Sound like a TV. Say No, no, no. What are we shipping and handling?
I will ship to you some bottles of Holy cannoli in holy oil.
Listen, I gotta be honest. I've purchased some of your holy cannoli on loping off the late night TV before. Thank you. And it was neither canola oil or a cannoli. I don't know what was in that holy cannoli, but I was displeased to me. It tasted honestly like salt water.
Let me put my hands on you real quick. Say that one more way to say about my oil.
I love
the way I need. What did I just witness right
there? That is, like beyond, uh, some sort of God speaking through you.
They don't have a stroke. I love the oil fries. What did that feel? That oil. How do you
feel about oil
High? I mean, generally don't think about it. I don't think I've ever had an active thought about oil in my life.
Utah. Oh, frankly, I
think that this bishop is a Charlotte on, and we, as Jews air talk to question everything on and I have seen that you're you know, this is all tricks and smoke and mirrors. Bishop,
what are you talking
about? I love the oil and fries. What I
What did you do to my
friend? Let me
speak to that. Now, Let me speak to that before we
touching your He's touching time.
Let us pray, Lord and, uh, more words than usual. I need you to kill his way through. This is under McGrath. This is under way.
Lord did cancel. Cancel on if you want to. Castle, there's a man. You got a baby sometimes an offer. Okay, look, I don't want to
die just yet. I don't want just yet. Here. You could have what's in my pocket. Five Certs. Ah. Written down passwords to browsers. Uh,
that this is what a lot, man. Hey, may
that's worth $40 a month.
Yes, just about. Just
remind you I love the oil and enterprise. Everything I need.
Sam, what
did you do to my friends say,
Oh, I just showed him the light.
You went too far with
your Christy. Oh, no. Let me put my hands on your one more every day about your heads. Love a
rabble? Not that I do.
Mm.
That way, Theo, You fries my stomach. You know everything. I e I
think I know what this man is He needs another song from her for me. Okay, Now I'm about to sing Kirk Franklin's, uh stop. Okay. It's a
rare condition. This damn name to read
it. A good new pool of newspaper page love and
tradition for the grand design.
So people see it is even harder. Teoh,
Sam is cry. I love the oil and fries everything. Are you all right? He's back. He's not back frying saying that on that was not Kirk Franklin. Stop!
Because it was
that was the theme song to family matter
Was that in heaven We don't have TV. Okay? You
live and have it is our live in heaven,
Wells. What? I live. I'm a disciple of God.
So you come down from
heaven getting your test 2020 s drive to school and ask for money.
It is a 14 hour commute every morning.
God doesn't take a cab. God does not take a cat. I'm glad to
at least hear Sam say something different.
Well, of the oil enterprise, Everything
all right? Well, you know what bishop makes I feel like you've done some irreversible damage in the lounge today. Oh, no, no, no. uh, but I mean, nonetheless, I guess we have to say we appreciate what you what you brought to the lounge today. Uh,
have to I do appreciate a veil, and it fries everything that I need. Okay.
All right. Now, before Navy, I want me now. You want your friend back? Yeah. I need you to reach into your pockets, okay? And pay me a final tied and often
okay. You see, Bishop Bakes has to pay his card notes, which I'm assuming is pretty large, considering you have. Ah, two years from the future. Tesla, You
live in heaven. But you couldn't buy your test out, right? You know your payment.
God does not give us money.
God, the oil works, OK, Your work time, Jonah. Poke holes.
Look, if I could get my friend back, I will give you some money. Three easy payments of 29 99. Is that what it was?
Yes, it will.
And shipping and handling
fellowship, which is 422. We're all
right. You want
alcohol? I'll cover the shipping and handling tied. You cover the three easy payments.
The part of me
thinks that this is the This is the calmest version of salmon. Hey, seems more happy than ever. This might be a religious experience,
and they said my teachings did. Wouldn't work,
Sam. What do you think about your dad?
Well, the oil works in the fries when I need, so probably do some potatoes later.
A man.
Bishop, I think you fixed our friend, actually. Yeah, Well, even like Hamas, you could bay. Uh, thanks for coming to the lounge. Thank you. Thank you. Here. You know, I do want to give you some money today just for, you know, down payment. Getting the good graces of the Lord. Obviously, we're cancelling that. Amen from
before you can consider it. Alright. A
You're still probably gonna die soon if we're being honest.
Oh, yes, I know your death date.
Okay. You are all powerful. It's in.
Well, don't let anybody tell you anything different. What? My
death day. What's my death date?
February? Keep your eyes over that old month. Jesus. Hey, the oil work.
All right. Well, Bishop makes we appreciate you stopping by today, but I think we are about out of time. Look, way blesses the sites. Blessings be to you. as well. And I hope you put our the money that you ah, sort of ah, condoms out of to good use. And and, you know, I hope positive changes continue throughout everyone's lives out there. Be careful around. This guy is also a man came into that. Yeah. And until next time Oyo.
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