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The Teachers talk about hell, Todd's step count, and Howard's fear of water. Later, Bill's brother Chris Cravy (Devin Field) makes his bid to become a permanent co-host of the show.
Todd Aiken. You feel hot? I could feel I could feel heat radiating off you. What's going on, buddy? Energy or like, body? It just I'm sitting next to you and I can kind of I feel like it kind of feels like I'm sit next to a radiator.
What the hell's going on, man? Did
you exercise before this?
Yeah, well, I tried to get my steps in. Uh, so yeah, I'm coming in. I mean, you see, you see what I'm wearing? I'm in my workout clothes.
Get your daily step count. Goal. Now I'm up.
Teoh. What did they say? You need 10,000 is the best, So I'm getting about 100 now.
Oh, wow. Yeah, that is much less.
That's great. Well, it's much less, but I think there's an issue with my step counter because my phone's always falling out of my pants. Right. Uh, and so I think it's it's now
you're putting in step. So you're not getting credit for That's what I think we're Bob. Let me
see your phone. Let me see your phone and let me look at it.
Okay? Yeah. Yeah, Well,
that some of these
companies stuff does this step Counter app is the one. Yeah. Yeah. Todd, uh, this is app where you just put the names of your step Children into it. Okay, so it has zero in their zero. Yeah, but their slots for 10,000 slots for 10,000 status
for 10,000 step Children is what's healthy, What they say you're supposed to. I
think this app is not about steps at all. This isn't a health app. This is just so you could keep track of the people in your life.
Oh, well, gonna have to call my accountant. I stopped payment on this thing.
How much did you pay
for? God? Is there in that purchases? Oh, yeah, I say.
Yeah, well, I bought. Yeah, I about each slot I bought you by each new slot. You can't take the steps if you don't have the slots. What? I understood it's all about all these slots, obviously, about some coins so that I could get some, uh, corn. Okay. I thought you said corn. Know why I bought coin from corn for my far. Um, about about some cows. You know, I'm building my farm out to on the sap I think
it does have a sort of like a Simpsons tapped out. Sort of. Ah, world building Sims. Kind of offshoot.
How many different ways with eases up sucking her and you out of money?
Well, I have to send them a picture of my face, but it Z I could only figure that out because I was translating the language from Russian English in my Google translate trouble your sudden in my face from hundreds of different
Todd. There's a tab in this app that you stay in the back of your head. Yeah, it's a whole head. So they're going to make a Todd Padre head. I don't
know. It's it's so I could count my steps is what I understand.
There's a whole tab on here that's a sensitive personal information.
Well, yeah, they got to know as much about you for health stuff is what I understood.
I think the KGB is making a Todd.
Yeah, it seems like that's what I
think. And then there they're using this other game thing. The farm building game to see your life. What? You active
position? Farm. What you put into the fund
has your personal address on
personal address. I mean, just if you if I had a farm, that's the address it
was leaving in wake in time.
Wait, sweetie, wait. Times DNA I had to send in my hair.
Oh, my God. And that
doing a, uh, toucher in candidate. I
think so That I think they're going to produce a full Todd, and he's going to become an assassin.
Oh, Jesus. Well, I'll tell you, if I had a bad boy clone out there, it would be it would help get me out of some things. I could manage that excuse. Yeah. You know, like
a You're pulling a long one on that. Maybe this is actually good
for I think this is good for me. And then I go back to Red Lobster and I'm like, Hey, that picture you have up of the guy you can't allow in that was my clone. Yeah, known
assassin. And then you can dive back into the lobster. Tanking
is like I made this deal with them. Throw the rubber bands on my hands and let me dive Hit rubber bands, right. A fair fight.
You are 30 times bigger than everyone of those last years, you rip.
But they could breathe underwater.
Yeah. And
you've now taken away his thumbs. The human advantage. That's the thing. That's the only advantage. Would have
loved her. Advantage is the thumbs. And I said, no! I'll go north up. Throw me underwater. Their turf.
Of course, they will not fight on turf. We've had this fight before us. They die. Die
quickly. The issue of the big The second issue is people walk by and they'll go. I want that one. And then I'm getting served up. Yeah, that's a problem. If they could get me out, what
are they gonna
finally do? This, You know, Royal Rumble of surf versus terms.
The world is
well versed. Fish. What? Who wins? Surf versus turf.
It depends on the terrified.
Well, yeah,
It could be a swimming competition official. Wipe the floor with those that could be a grass eating competition. Cows will wipe the floor with those fat fish. Should
be surprised. Fish, will you? Grass,
seagrass. Cigarette? I didn't even think about it. Yeah. Wow. This is actually a really great idea. Surf versus turf. Yeah. I think this might have Teoh next big project. I think I have to get behind this.
Yeah, and I think it's best to seven. You do. You dio
absolute What a full playoff.
And you switch home home in a way. Summer on serve, summer on turf. You keep it even. It's a
full season. There's, Ah, it's like a football 16 weeks season maybe. Uh alright.
Bet you I would put so much money that you're not even getting to Game five. Turf gets owned by surf. Well,
you know really? Yeah, yeah. In the surf. What about
when we're back on the
plains? Fisher flopping around?
I think a floppy fish still has a good fight in it, especially the Mikey backed fish.
My question is, how do we solve home court advantage? Who has four games on their surf or turf?
I mean, whoever has the most delicious record,
that is true. And for me, it's
beef. It's definitely beef. I've never had fish that I like.
You know where you have to try my breads, you know, Now you have to try. I'm
never gonna eat anything. You cook for me
so that I would never need anything. You
know, you It's a sort of bridge over long grain white rice. It is cooked. It's cooked all the way.
No, no, salt does not cook food. Salt protects food. It preserves it.
But yeah, most of each is cooked by acid. Yeah, not by something. I don't even like ceviche. Okay. You don't believe me? That's the
truth, Todd. You force on an acid. Ah, lime juice. Ah, lemon juice. Something sit drumming on there and it cooks it. It cooks it enough to kill germs. Okay, Sliding.
Yeah, What you never do. You never light the gas to cook your food. You just put in fact on it. And
in fact, I know for a fact the gas got turned off of your house.
Yeah. Okay, Okay. They said, Well, hasn't used it in 10 years. This could be alive. Did you a favor? They were like, We're not going to
keep taking money from you, Todd.
This sucks. Desolate of getting mansplaining. It's all bullshit
here on team turf. Yeah, I'm but I'm on team safe.
I got two things going on. I'm doing this and I'm also going to go on chopped and I'll cook only Todd Fish.
Marcus Samuelsson is gonna beat the shit out of Utah. He is gonna beat the shit out of you. You will not cook food good enough for him to even taste it.
Get Oh, come on. I was admitted. Thought you can't are. Well,
now it is a fake kick that
doesn't know. Thank God. Ok, well, in that case Oh,
my God! I swear to God. Okay, well practicing in the way
he did it
back with its welcome. Back to tool time Improvement on Tim the two men Weatherman A all your bomb
is fat. Okay, What a classic
joke. Making five a man's fat Mom. What a beautiful, hilarious comedian you worked his whole life to get there. Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. It's the first, best and only podcast pertained issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I, of course, am Howard M v P of the tournament Levis. Oh Ah, of course. That is a nickname I gave myself
first most valuable player given to the coach.
Yes, well ah, As everybody knows, the spring tournament was this past week. Ah, the team did Ah
on doing
tournaments like dances this year right there doing the spring tournaments.
Bring Chairman come coming tournament. Yeah, Inter for
mating. Talkin.
That's gonna be an interesting tournament
because it's a totally new teams. Told the girls, decide who the teams are for the boys and then the girls also pick their own
teams. Yeah, eso Yeah, they're doing things a little differently this year, but of course, in the spring tournament, we didn't win any games, but ah, tough. Yeah, but we scored plenty of points. Ah, and every other co.
Do you mean by plenty? Because if you didn't win any games, that seems to me like it's not enough
points. Well, we didn't win enough points to win, but we did scores. Plenty of points, which is what all the other coaches said to me after the games. He said you scored plenty of
points. Tell you what. One thing that you do differently than Bill that I like to see is that end of the game, coach Hands, shaken conversation. You let that convo uh, it seems like you're you're really chatting up that other cut.
The janitor was sweeping you out of the gym the other night because you guys were staying. Well, it's court.
Well, it was the last game of the night. Of course. They play eight games a night in these tournaments because it's they do the whole tournament in one night could learn. Just like the dances.
Yeah, T j, of course, sets the tone for when the game started and
yeah, yeah. And so the d. J. Was packing up on me and the coach from Winter Ville were still gabbing away. Uh,
because, you know, we got
a lot of
comment. Yeah. You know, he, uh,
his team just mopped the floor with you.
Yeah. Ah, and I My team was the mop. That's the thing we had in common. I said, what? What was it like? Teoh Sort of use my team to
that of sportsmanship. Yeah, And I'm trying to
learn, because, unlike Bill, I'm willing to sort of, um, sink my teeth into this job and actually try to get better at. It s so I'm taking every piece of advice I can get from it. All these other coaches I'm saying,
Hey, let me get you coffee.
Let's go out tomorrow and lets talk and you
can tell me all your
secrets. And then maybe next time I can implement him in a game.
Howard, I'm proud of you for that. But I do want to stop him. Point out you just threw Bill under the bus hard. Unlike Bill, I'm a good coat.
Not that, unlike
Mill. What's next here to sell the beef diaper. He's
not here to defend himself.
Come on. And I'm
not Hey, look, I'm not saying I didn't say that. He's a bad coach. I just said I'm a better coach. Okay? Okay. Oh, I'm
a coach. I hope I'm not Mex
You're not. Look, look, I'm not gonna take either year guys jobs,
so I don't leave the room when you when this guy's around. Otherwise I'll walk back in with a knife in my back. Perfect metaphor.
A perfect
out of you walk back into the room. I'm in with a knife in your back
because I left and united me in the back. But where the eyes of Howard I've said it once. I'm not gonna backstab. No, never. Matt. Circle of hell is for you, By the
way, I'm not going back to help. I'm not going back to hell. I've lived a good life.
But do you
have a punch card for Hellewell? Your is the fast lane.
Yeah, Everybody does. All of us do. Old slobs will know way. We've all been there on the hill. Got the T
shirt help, but there doesn t shirt got bored in. Couple of
spending their done there Got the T shirt. Now the good thing about going to hell once is you get the fast pass to get back in. Yes, because yeah, if you're going to go to hell again, the last thing you want to do is wait when you get there. Well, but then they
added this California adventure on the past the past fast. Yes. Or fastpass does not apply to that, right? And now I gotta wait in lines all over again. Just you soarin over Haiti's, um you know, other. All those are sticks. Land?
Yeah, Biel's a Bubs toy story ride.
Uh, but the good thing
about Hal, if Orania adventure is at least you can drink. Yeah, this you can drink in there. You can let your kids you can let your kids do whatever you want in hell while you're in California.
Yeah. Carl straps made a great deal with help for the adventure to get craft brew, get a red trolley ale.
Yeah, and craft brew is definitely the beer of Healthy Spell is now sponsored by all craft breweries.
Hell has the two best things going for it with craft brewers. It is sponsored by our craft breweries, and then it will be sold to Budweiser and all the crap Peru fans will get mad for
somebody. Everyone's gonna shave their goatee and protests.
Well, um, my name is Todd Padres. You all know, um, working on a new play that I think is going to blow
the hearts and minds of blow
the hearts below the hearts, it's gonna blow your hearts off. Um, Aziz, you all know I've been working on the the wall of gratitude, not the wall of fat itude. Yep. Um and ah, I've kind of gotten a reputation for kind of my loving street art and performance are, And now we're doing a play called Hugs and it's ah, it's a little performance art because I think what the world needs now is hug sweet hugs, and it's all about loving each other. Um and it's ah, it's all done fully. Pants off its nude. Okay, it's new. First
red flag. Your high school
sounded like really sweet. And why did they have to be new
vulnerability? We've got
to be vulnerable again. We've got to teach kids. Yeah, you news nude here to
the stars, nude. Whoever that ends up
here, it's gonna be you. We all know it. Don't
even joke. Don't even
pretend that's not gonna be the anymore. Don't
know. There are no foregone conclusion.
Um, fasting Right now.
I'm in casting right now. How far along
in the process are you?
We are right now in preproduction.
And how many people have
been seen? Zero. No, it's not zero. I can't count off the top of my head. We're having people said kids are sending in self tapes right now. Typing from home.
The kids can't take pictures of themselves bottomless and 70.
That's not This is the problem in Europe. Kids or naked all the time.
You know that is not
sexualized. This is the problem. Is nudity equal sex in America and it's broken your old man brains. Okay. 125 year old man six. I just look 1 25 thank you. That's what my driver's license says that plays nude. They I'm not. I'm not budget on this. Hugs in the nude is coming up this spring and I'm not budging and it's non sexual. There will be no arousal. If you're aroused, get kicked out. That's the other thing.
Is that rule? Apply Teoh thing. What was that apartment where you get measured?
We're gonna kick yourself out of your own
plane. Say
that you've been aroused in every play you've directed. That's part
of it. Yes, because he I mean, being on the stage arises. May. You're not an artist. If it doesn't, uh, it should turn you on because you're creating its godly. It's godly. What you're doing there. It's It is. It's
always use the same caffeine
latitude and it s sensual. It's sensual, and I don't mean sex. It's more than sex. And that's what your backwards boomer brains Celtic this way in the 20 twenties. Okay, we gender is gone. You don't get horny anymore. Everyone's making.
I don't think that is an understanding of
my sexuality. I don't think at all.
Also, you say 2020 but you are rockin 1920 sensibilities.
Oh, OK. Is it the most? If
yeah, quite frankly, it is the mustache, the top hat, the little bartender thing you wear around your bicep.
Oh, yeah, Well, that's to keep my little bottle popper
it. That's right. But who's Who's
getting hugged in this place? That an audience interactive thing. Are there formers?
Now? Do you see how
nice it is to be curious instead of judgmental? Well,
I'm just waiting for the judgment part. I'm asking the question to get the detail that I'm gonna judge.
Every scene starts with two historical enemies Jesus and then by the end there hugging.
So there is an idea behind.
So Martin Luther King and a Malcolm X. Okay. First, they're arguing about Nonviolence on ways to protest and by the end of the scene there, naked in their hundreds. OK, Mother Teresa and Lady Di.
So they start with those who start, and then there started stripping down as they get more
vulnerable emotionally, they're also taking their clothes.
I understand the connection between Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
I will say I do think I do think that's interesting Thank you. Yeah, I do think that's a Thank
you. Thank you. Thank you.
I do think also this will get you put in jail. Yeah, but I do think artistically That is smart. No,
I just want to understand. Nope. That's it. Like I see the connection between em. Okay. And Malcolm X? Sure. Lady Di and Mother Theresa. What
did these two ladies have
to talk about? Their opposite. Their opposites. Hot Merkley. Next. Next. Next. Faster. Of course. We're gonna have Jerry Seinfeld and Newman.
Seinfeld. Unterman. Okay,
get the connection. Those two are very connected. Still mo Trees and Lady Di
And don't Seinfeld in Newman. And we're taking self tapes. I want to see your best Seinfeld New best Newman as they are getting more naked. There is a monitor on everyone in the audience if they're getting horny, er, they're out. You're out of the play. We're kicking you out and we're shaming you could Sex is the past. The future is humanity and connection. And that's what I'm all about. Now it's what we need in this crazy, crazy election season.
There's something beautiful about that time. I appreciate that. Thank you. Very much now. I think that's a really good view towards the future, but I think my view might be better. I think we have to figure out this thing between land animals and see animals.
You're taking over surf in terms.
So I think the problem with global warming maybe not even be above water. And I'm just considering this because of that idea. We had 20 minutes.
Global warming is happening because of these. I don't want to say anything rude,
but all you judgmental, lazy fish is polluting crabs and lobster. We talk about methane gas of the cows we produced for our beef for about the Sikh house. What about the sea cows? The manatee, right? Yeah, You know what I mean? The manatee is farting underwater all day long,
and we know this. Science knows this Him. I'm gonna tell you. Have you have to start this campaign now? Have a sea cow, Sam, You won't know who's doing global warming. You could take a week or more. You don't have to come up with it right now, but things will find the answer. Who's the bad guy now, then? I think it's step
No, I think this is interesting, Sam, because first of all, thank you were wildly, uh, rudely and disrespectfully rejected from your rock climbing crude example for, uh, which
is crazy. They said I bastardized it by turning into food and feeding myself to the climbers. They said I'd Bastard,
that what it was.
What are you guys
doing rolling around in all this talk that I turned into flour and salt and pepper
anyway. But, you know, I think I think that this is the correct reaction. Something else. Food related or animal related for you. I think this is where you are. This is your zone.
I agree.
Obviously, a lot of the kids in school have now been drawing you for their art projects. Um, and put with we've got that display up. What?
You have been really interesting. Yeah, we've changed from the classic hand turkey. You know, that was something the kids were doing. And now they're doing the same turkey, the Sam turkey or the hand. Sammy. It's kind of either one if you can't draw while you can still use your hand. And my face is the palm and the fingers air the hair, But each of the hairs, then looks like a chicken strip. So it's still here the way a pretty accurate drawing
of So it's their hands. Yeah, the popular. It just eyes the face. And then the hairs are chicken fingers, which
is that it's already finger. Yes, yes,
which is very close to a Don King lookouts.
I would say so. So that's been common, the students down, which has been really nice. But I'm pretty convinced this land versus see thing is the next thing. I'm pretty sure that we need a surf versus turf, and I'm picturing a jock jams vibe. We invite athletes. We invite musicians. We invite fish.
Alright, your rocket drug or Dark James, the CD
jock jams will be playing and rock and Jack is the thing I was thinking,
but they're playing a sport. It was Is it a
Yeah, I think we'll do.
Some see sports, so there will be water polo. The cows will have to play water polo against the fish. Okay, and then the fish will have to play football against Nellie and the cows. Cinelli. It's part of the of course. He's a land person.
Those land David Cortes, Obviously, Sea of Cortez. That Z
10 Cortez will be in the sea. Of course. Michael Phelps, The human torpedo. See
Bill Bellamy. Gil Bellamy, You don't really know who's on which team until you find a way forcing
everybody to pick a side here.
Well, like land versus C wars. I think that is what it's gonna turn in.
Wow. Okay, so it's kind of like the like, how else
a coward, obviously a sea animal. Okay,
are the coward sea animal? Uh,
cow is a cow combined,
however, the Sikh, because
you're afraid of water, we've all seen you try to dip your toes into the ocean or even take a shower. You
don't even take a sip in restaurant. I'll spend
it straight back up into the air that unfortunately, it rains down upon
you and I shoot out of my chair to try to let it hit on the ground in the seat and my and
there's a full shootout with your gun and the water. You try to shoot the lot.
I have tried to shoot water before
your very afraid of water.
Everybody knows about five or six years and every
water around Howard. Make sure you disarm him
first because he's a guy toting member of the and
I don't like using my gun. But if you bring water around me unless it is distilled
that sounded like a dose. Zaki's comer from
my what Ideo. It's to shoot water unless it's distill dosek, ease! Call a powered.
He wants to shoot water on. Wants to promote being
want Teoh.
But I will say, Oh, I don't want
to. Its just it it scares me. Okay, You guys know what happened to me when I was a kid? Yeah.
Yes, Your mom tried to drown
Teoh. She says she looked at that. I said, I'm going to do that.
Yeah, well, of course she talked to her doctor and said I'd like to have a water birth. No reason. Uh and I was born and she stepped out of the kiddie pool and put ah layer of film over the water. And I survived underwater for an
incredible when you were literally a newborn.
Yes, Pop that. Wow, Your memory is on canny. Well, I've
heard this story. You've heard the story and traumas stick with
you and your unpacking. I have nightmares about it. Yes, that's what happens. It's honestly, it's PTSD. Every time I see water, I'm thinking about when I was still attached to my mother by the umbilical cord trapped underwater. Careful. Yeah,
I could still breathe. Yeah. What would you basically scuba diving? Yeah.
Would you call these water nightmares wet dreams? Because
way are, I guess I have to Now
that there were learned about Howard that we've always number we're letting you all know is Howard has wet dreams, which are water nightmares about his mom trying to drown him right as he was bored.
Ah, picture myself is a literal newborn. Would be would be really on. Yeah, well, I think that's a really cool thing that
you will. The interesting thing is, I've never seen my body in these in these Ah, these visions. It's always just flashes of sort
of bubbles. And, uh, and then, like
the sort of hazy image of a woman
you did
some poetry about. Sort of. Ah, spoken word sort of bubbles.
I have. I have, You know, I did Well, there's a clip. I was
going to play the clip from the open mic. What were you on. Sorry.
What? No, it wasn't. I was on an open
mike. But you are also on
a pretty big professional thing. I think we should play the gritty open mic version. And then the more Paul.
Oh, and by the way, students I know it's didn't only open. Mike, If we have material, we're coming up with it.
Why do you think we run it?
Were bumping your stupid ass? Yes, OK, I'm sick of it. I think
I bought all those sweaters.
Turtlenecks to be civil mock trouble.
Yeah, of course. Yeah. They won't let me by the full. They said you can't handle it.
All right, So this is Howard Levis, Dear Poetry at a open mic neck and
play. Ah! Hello, everyone. Um, thank you so much for giving me time. Appear today. I'd like to do a thank you so much. Appreciate that. Um I like to do a poem that I've been working on. Uh, it is entitled Bubbly Mommy bubbles, bubbles, bubbles Hazy, Mommy above bubbles, bubbles, More bubbles.
Large logic. Mommy! Mommy, I love you. Large lotto extra. But do you love me?
I'm sorry. Are you ordering or deliberate? One Is that an order or Ah.
Oh, I don't know.
Hey, guys, I'm sorry. I'm trying to do a poem. Appear. Can you guys figure this out either?
Outsider. Just in the other room. Thank you. Okay, I'm just gonna
So there's no cafe here. We just are holding a few a lot. We don't know where they belong to.
Okay, well, just just drop him off and is trying to do the vibe trying to set this is Ah, this is a big moment for me to perform this poem. Can you guys settle
down a little bit, brother?
All right. I'm gonna move on to the next
stanza. Thank you. Bibles bubbles, Terror around. Bubbles, bubbles, Mommy. A sound sounds of love.
Hot chocolates code. I'm sorry. Certainly. Out the market roof.
Is that a hot, chocolate flavored scone? Or is it a high chocolate with a scone?
Hot chocolate school.
Oh, I'm waiting for a scone. Hot chocolate.
I wrote it down wrong right back. Okay. I'm just gonna
power through the rest of the poem.
I have to go to the store. We don't make it. Take your time, Okay? Sorry. Howard,
it's OK. Sorry. Your apology doesn't make it so that I can go back to the beginning and make this good. Okay, I got to start at the
end now because it just I can't I can't ramp up. Okay. This
is just the last couple lines. These air boo snaps. You don't say that, sir.
Let's
pause. Euro quick. Do we even want to hear the third stands on? Howard, Get good in the third
eye. Well,
did you at least goto uninterrupted
about it? Well, I wish. Ah, I'll just say this The third standard. The third stanza is mostly just guys delivering food and drink.
Well, let's see. We'll see.
Okay. And play Bibles. Bubbles. Is that for me?
No, I I ordered the bubbles.
Hot pizza. Hey, hot pizza
from Domino's delivered to this classroom?
Yeah. Is this place one of those dominoes? Hot spots.
You can just order pizza. The surest buddy. One of the kids set it up, I think, as a joke, but who were delivered here? Almost everything
is this. Somebody take your pizza, please. Squirtle. It's a pizza for Squirtle.
Didn't you? Didn't. I got a pizza here for Squirtle. Squirtle with okay. Square toe get your pizza, Squirtle. Sandow, Get your
pizza. Sure they forgot. That's we really Girls. Still foot
Squirtle, Get your pizza. Squirtle. Squirtle. Okay, Thank you so much. Thank you for delivering, sir. Here's a tip. I don't know. Here. OK, get off the stage now. Okay, You know what? Maybe I will, you know.
Well, Howard, that was really impressive. I could feel your bravery on
stage. You didn't really hear much of
I don't understand the bubbles, I guess.
Bubbles Were you blowing bubble?
No. Because when you're when you're flailing around underwater Ah, the bubbles that sort of follow your arms
and everything. It's that's the visual of my wet dreams. Eyes that I see bubbles in front of me. And, um
I know. Listen to that tape made me really mad. Guys. It made me really mad. And it made me want to go kill this Squirtle kids.
I don't know. Do we have one Pokemon? I think I think we got a loud be, you know, how do you think it's gonna look if you gotta go? One plan to catch him all
got to kill a Squirtle is what I say.
Howard, this is dangerous
pass is revealed now that I have a gun. So this kid's fucked
our Do not shoot Squirtle
Squirtle shows his ugly face around this school. You think a battle
with Squirtle your women
You have
to get yourself a charge, aren't even have a chance
Now maybe you
to charge hard charge hard. My gun. Ciara's ard You're todo taken. Charge hard. My gun is that I
was pretty good. Charged
are my gun He's going to eat a bullet. Char mander. Squirtle. If you're listening, you're going to eat a
boat. Look, Howard, I know it's not the first time we've used our platform to threaten one of the students.
Well, square last
on this platform is getting bigger and bigger, and it's getting riskier and riskier to do
so well. But we wear well, we can't stop the guy. Squirtle. Watch your back. How it's going to try to kill you. Uh, Ash. Ash, we know you're out there. If you want to get a couple of friends to help defend Squirtle, I think you're gonna need it. Howard does have 40 hit points in his gun. Um,
I need
to go to the bathroom.
Let's So it's a quick pissed,
which is what we call
a break. That's right. All right, folks, thanks for sticking it out through the break. We appreciate it
was one of the longest breaks of the year. And we really appreciate you guys sitting through
Yeah, yeah, it's tough. Sometimes you forget you're listening to something because they took a break and then, uh, you guys stuck around. You're still listening.
We really appreciate that. We get the numbers on these, like how many people turn it off at the break? Uh, most because I definitely get it with my plays. You know, you can see people leaving
obvious when there's empty seats at the end that weren't empty at the beginning.
And a big thing you do in a play is you. Hey, folks, stick around. The big special guest is coming up in the second half and you know, you get a few butts in
seats, but it's always alive for you.
Well, yeah, the big special guests we always tell the audience at the end was in their hearts the whole time. But missing you play, you know, will be losing people cause we're kicking them out when they get to horn.
Everybody used it. Feels pretty cheated by that, right? I
think so. But, you know, theater should cheat people. Um, we're recording. Sorry, sir. I e this is You guys don't know who this is. It's
babe. It's Chris Craven. This is
you remember Chris Crave E. Bill Invited salt. Rather crass. Chris had a no marriage marriage. Like a wedding where he wasn't marrying anybody, but threw a party
for Yes. That's right. I met me there. I was the caterer.
You know what's
funny is how much Bill never, ever talks about.
Believe me, I've been hearing about been listening to this podcast. I'm like,
I'm not
coming up on her at all. Well, sorry about that. And also Ah, I don't I don't even know how you got the address or how you're here are like, came to me in a dream,
came to me in a dream. I had that It was correct. And it was cracked. Well, the GPS
took me to the wrong gate, but it was the right building. Did take me a little while to find the right stairwell video. That's, uh well, I guess. Welcome. Welcome. to the ground. I dress. I figured I'd barge on in.
Chris craving How the hell are you
way Do again? I
just think you know, of course, I am a loyal listener because I keep tabs on my brother Bill. Um, this is your only way. You keep tabs on him. He has cut me out of his life. He says I am a toxic personality.
Brother of my best friend is welcome here in. Yeah. Thank you so much. Let us know
next. Yeah, I won't.
I won't. I you know, I think that
would detract from the overall atmosphere. Will be arriving. Shocking you. So you like. That moment came in and we were all just like
what? So you do have that crave e shooting? I left each yet
I love to make you guys feel like you're eating shit. And I love see the look on your faces when you go out. Shit. Bill CREss.
Yeah, well, it was definitely a no ship for me because obviously I I have moved your weekly newsletter into my spam
crap. Chris Graves Craft fair that I know that now that you mention it, I received this newsletter once, months ago, Didn't realize it was yours, and I never signed up for it. Never. I have never written email address down. Well, your email address came to me in a dream, and I got it right. Why I do what? I didn't get a bounce back. I was like, I bet that landed in his
in these dreams.
Are they cereal or is it literally like you sitting at a desk and being like Howard Levis at yahoo dot co?
Well, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Whoa! I didn't tell them how to spell it. It's like it sounds,
and God only knows how Yahoo is spelled. Christ, please don't use that. Everybody will believe it. We'll bleep it in the post.
Wake over here. Okay. Like in the support crash, You listen a lot. I'm in outside. That's great. Yeah, well, to answer your
question about my dreams there somewhere between ethereal and awake, it's all I know is that it's akin to sleep. Paralysis. That's sort of how it feels. Eyes have been perceiving the world eyes open, perceiving the world at my desk. But I am powerless to do anything.
So you're on
Google googling this information, calling them dreams.
Think well, but accept they are extremely wet. My dreams are extremely Oh, yes.
A Zahar's arousal Girls.
Yes, it's that kind of went three for I am Yes. Were you ever them? Right?
Because you, Howard, has what dreams. But almost
every night about your almost early death.
You're having wet dreams every night about your early interested. I like men. You know, I've never been
curious about Bill in this way. But now I want to know what your
parents are like. Well, on billet. Pretty similar. Hey, you and me
both would like to know who our parents are and what they're like. Because, of course, we we grip it it orphanage together way.
Wow, backstory. Yeah, This is great. The most revealing crazy stuff we've ever had enough that contradicts anything's build buildings does. It does. But it's OK. It doesn't matter.
Your adoptive parents are in town now. I have a theory that that's why Bill read, uh, pursued the beef. Yes. Yes. Now, Bill is also I There's a lot of you grew up. What is it like now, as an adult, I mean, you've got these blog's Chris cravings crap.
Yeah. Newsletter bogs. Yeah. These are blocks that I print out on bail to people who say they don't live on the Internet anywhere. Just they're just settle out on the Internet.
You got 86 from the web? I got 86. Well, actually, I
51 50. Advice from the Web. Wow. I took a long, hard look at the beer and I said half
everything to events. That means you're a danger to yourself and others.
Yes, it's the legal code. You
voluntarily commit yourself to a sanitary. It's todo I have a very kind of you. So, like the
trash place? Yeah. Like like a janitor school myself. Janitors
I couldn't hear. I was doing all sorts of unhealthy Googling. And I said, You know what I should do? You know what actually do. I should give this up cold turkey. Where you going? You're doing? I was benched going. I would I would go go one thing and then immediately Google something else before their results, even before the results came back. It's
not even a rabbit hole. Let's just
say I was feeling lucky. Most days.
First result. Wow, always sort of Russian
roulette. Did you ever bite the big one of this Russian roulette of Google? Yeah, well, in the sense that I was googling things with a gun in my mouth Yeah. Uh, OK, Squirtle, listen up. That's you
style. We're talking about this poking on, kid. We
have one parking on the school. You cannot belittle him like this.
Hate crime. Yeah, well, I love you know, I love it. Our I say
threaten more people should be using your platform for this.
And this kind
of gets toe. Why? I wanted to come by. You had a reason.
Yeah. I had
a reason just to promote Chris Cruz crown. No, but of
course, if you guys could please subscribe to Chris craves crap and then let me know how you did subscribe. Also not to distract from what we're here for. But I would like to say it makes a little bit of sense for Bill's brother to be named Chris
because Bill had a bit of an obsession.
Slaps now. Yeah, that's why he needed him as
a manager. Because are you his big brother?
Yes. I think he was psycho sexually obsessed with me. And so
when he met someone else named Crass. He said McGuinness. This is close to someone I know for my life. Let me and turn unhealthy sexual relationship way
have gotten more grounded just in five minutes from Chris Crazy than we ever did from Bill. This is really so you're in here. You're in
here because I knew, uh, Bill, let me know that he was leaving toe sell the beef diaper. And I said, That's not gonna work Fool's errand. What do you doing? But I did see it as an opportunity. I say that means there's a freaking chair open, pa. That's true. And loyal listener, I thought, This is my chance to swoop in
and become the fourth permanent host.
Your honor. Engineer, Thank you for kicking in your I
can't even I can't even get the
theme song to play. Chris Gravy comes in here five minutes later, he's kicking the thought this guy can host. Believe this kid cook a
careful Just be careful, Chris. That's big confidence. He's got that crazy I And here is
the main reason why I think I can host. I think the show sacks What the fuck?
I think this is like. That's sad. Okay, But listen,
I'm a loyal listen, very. And I Here's what I do. I hate Listen, okay. I'm sick of this shit. Me to people, people talking about how they hate watch things.
No, you don't.
You're obsessed with it, okay? You're so obsessed, and you're upset that you're obsessed with something that other people think sucks. That's why you say you hate wash. Of course, actually, like you're not telling me something new. Tell me I hate myself. There's no breaking news for, you know? Of course, I hate you
all. And myself. And this shop. I mean, there's a few
obvious things to hate about the show. The episodes aren't long enough. Okay, I know that that we could There could be a little more Padre focused in the episodes. I think they're like, Ah, whole padre segment.
And later I hate This is probably
he's probably thinking, you know, the guys need to listen to Sam Moore
knows he's talking. Yeah, or again. Or maybe he's thinking that Ah Howard should put his foot down a little more frequently and sort of take control of things In a way, yes. This is Where my dog? Yeah. All right.
Don't listen. If you came on here to tell us that Howard is right,
I swear to God, I'm gonna bring your, like, Bart Simpson turning the homer. And you're gonna be part probably like any by short God. Okay,
Okay. Lets the new here's the deal. What's the news he hears on the news? The it is in the world record Arabs to be
heard. A
person who has a voice
so extreme walking I rather rude, but literally tearing ones left.
It's so hard to believe that I'm a person who deserves to be heard that you possible.
I see what's happening. Mr Engineer, let's fix my headphones. Because I'm I'm hearing heard, but I think you're saying hurt. We need toe hurt. Towered more.
Well, you're half right. Okay, I heard. But I also agree with her way. Sneak Howard and then doing some jackass style
back in his stabbing it back in the sink.
I don't like it. I want
what's up. This is tough, but And this is kicking hard.
No, no, no. Now is good.
I said shit. Any better start?
Howard has a list sometime. It might be my God this'll Everyone's favorite episode when Howard, at a self imposed speech some oppose we heard of. That's right. No way. It felt like he was leading you, but I made it worst nightmare. So here's my thought.
This were getting into it. This I love where we're going so far. I want this to be a classic. Here's the thing. You guys are doing a podcast.
Snooze, snooze. I'm snoozing for a slate. Listening of this
falling asleep at the wheel, crashing my car. Someone's. Here's the deal. What What type of radio people listen to? None. Shock
shock jocks in Rogan Sprinkle a little shocked Jack and Rogan, so if we do
jackets now Prince on Howard, punch him in the balls shin making by. These are things that we could do to shock the audience into a list. Digging into classic drive time shock jock radio.
Chris. I don't need shock factor because I connect to the hearts and minds. I don't need to shock anybody,
thought leaders of the free school people Listen you.
That's a big fake snore
God, he's really cutting to my core with
what's everybody's just Todd Padre and Mrs dumping water on Howard's Penis
just zips. What's Breuder? I
added a general all purpose spray. You.
It was a shock jock.
Thing is great. I gotta be honest. I hate his notes. They cut me
to the core, but it's working.
When I poured that water, Howard pointed a gun at it, but I was pouring on his Penis. Luckily, we got the gun out with
very excited for the brief, but that Howard was pointing a gun at his Penis. I would never see my opinion
said With such confidence, I can't see behind his eyes Latinos. Someday he will. I don't hate water. I think
Chris is in accepting this idea in your mind, I think happened.
Chris has some some sort of ability to control dreams or something. T
three brown Welcome to the Red Room over the Black Lodge. I talk backwards, so die
where it Howard's litchi and dream.
Okay, you know what? You're trying to make me
go crazy. Talking backwards is canted.
That's true. Now listen, let's dive into a new segment that is shocked. Jack Oreo control segments, Hottie of the week. Oh, yes, probably stuff they talk about on radio you know, hot celebs and who is the hottest of them all? You can all go around. It's half body that we think it's smoking hot.
Uh, how do the week, huh?
I guess I'll go first. Big feminist RBG now being hottie of the week Because justice is
what i c k Sam, get out of here with that bullshit hottie of the
week. What? Rick made a Ginsberg. I thought I was being genuine. I got
one for you. Me like,
Oh, yeah, Jupiter send.
She's making about Jim. Better said, if you don't need spray,
I don't think this is with the show. I have lost Maura pre part about that 70. Shape the pattern. I didn't think it was possible. The mom for seven way. I didn't think was
possible for this show to get more chaotic. When when Bill was it here getting crazy? And I really wish my tongue with deals being crazy. I'm being crazy. Let's be
normal now. Be normal now. Strange. I feel like I'm in
a waking dream. It feels like we're listening to the grand tests of the of
this podcast. What?
Chris, I'd say this I take notes well, and I take advice. Well, so I'm here. I'm trying to What's that?
You've never said? You famously do not well know. I think
I do. I think if people disagree with me that they're wrong about it. I know myself, you know? So I am looking for compromise here. This is a good opportunity for me to enact my play and try to find a hug with you because we're disagreeing a little bit. I'm talking about Hottie of the Week, but there is disagreement on the tone of the show. So what is our middle
ground here? Yes, a compromise, even though just the word itself makes me sick.
Okay, I'll play your game. I'll try to compromise. Let's try to
do instead of Chris craves crap. Let's see some Chris craving compromises
may be compromised.
No, Um, let's see, Where can we meet in the middle here? You like shock jock stuff on and I love Howard's new interviews. You know, the tone of Howard Stern
outlined in Haitao got down.
Your book of interviews was unknown,
readable because it should have been a book. I should read the book. It should have been TV show and I said, You're probably yes, and
correct me if
I'm wrong But you made up every interview with their hypothetical interview, hypothetical as a proof of concept, so that eventually one day I could, actually.
But it wasn't in the form of, like, question answer interviews. It was pros. It was about a bunch
of it, and it read
like Boy, if Ruth Bader Ginsburg came into the room, I probably say how your SubRip engine like that. She'd probably be happy to answer that question. Did say, probably a lot.
We have a recording human open Mike, where you did read the book.
Yeah, let's listen it, he says.
Probably a lot. So it should have been taken
tens. Uh, which clip do you have? What? Who
is the interview for? Uh, this is the open mic on this was your interview with your your possible interview with former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
Okay, so I'm sitting in my study and Don Rumsfeld
courts pause s. So this was the This was your live reading and you had a list
kicks it, But he refused about the timeline when this could happen. This was
back when it happened in the show. It happened right now
about a year ago. Rubber band man. All right. And action or play.
I say to him what's
up there?
And he probably said something like, Oh, just doing my job. Got a chocolate scone lot. Okay. Hey, I don't even know what this is. Listen, you're paying to Airbnb half my house. Stay out of here, okay? Okay. Sorry. Yeah,
right. Buzz, this is alive. Open mic at your house like someone is Airbnb
That it was this guy named Terry. Yeah, Going Terry to come back in a more durable future. Episode one star review on him as a guest. What about from ravaged my house? No. Gotta have one to let him get ravage. Uh, yeah, but anyway, actually, the restoration of you about that with Don Rumsfeld isn't that good? So wait, Didn't even happen. Every dollar
coming into the office the next day, you seem like someone had absolutely ravaged your wife.
Right? And that was in comparison because I think so highly of my home. To see it destroyed is about the same as he has. Yes. Oh, my God! Yeah, I heard he laid down across your couch. Is that How do you like this little bitch boy? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I already
wore a condom in your house.
Hey, did the whole time he was there. That's good. Except the last day I walked into his room and the condoms on the ground. I wear two condoms whole time. We took it off the last day, which here and he was
in my house without a condom. On the last day,
I had to move up. You move. I can't
believe someone in your house.
I've been in that house. I've been in that house for 42 years and I still I every time I get to wear a condom in my own house, I'm wearing a condom on all of my fingers right now. Every single I thought you were holding a bunch of bananas. I can't see. I can't see. Good. I can't see. Good. You thought I had two hands each with no figures. I thought your your fist
were wrapped around the very It's just can't see. Good, Good. There's nothing else. There's no
no. Now, isn't this nice? We just
learned so much about our that we would have never heard of because we let him have a voice. We learned that he got house cut by a very that he was when Terry left.
My house had mold,
so I gave my house mold and I couldn't be any more. Well, that's house piece. Yeah, that's how that's how species and it's and it's actually pretty normal. A lot of people are living with house. A
lot of people live with house peas. Even if it's just on your windows, it doesn't have to be on your toilets.
And you could take Val tract home. That's the best I got with that.
Uh, Chris, have you considered cause this is interesting? I think we'll get Bill back eventually. But maybe, uh, yeah. I mean, we miss him, but I don't. And we would miss you up, but I don't know that, um, as we're just I like these suggestions. Yeah, you know, it demands these demands for a podcast that Howard talk more her Howard More. I like 50% of the suggestion. Ah. Ha. Day of the week was interesting. Okay, I I'm wondering what would What would Chris bring to the show? You know,
yet we don't know. Okay, release this.
What's something you that you could bring that way?
Listen to the track. Are you in a
relationship, Chris? I think we were relationship advice Would be really helpful in
the that Giving Really stupid by So I am in a relationship pretty longstanding. Been in a relationship for about six or seven years. How long? Yes, And it is with someone I met at janitor school. Yes, It's actually my professor.
Oh, uh,
sensual. Yes. Okay. So, yes, I just don't know. I don't always love a professor. A professor Love store
Sherrick. It's a little problematic.
Unless it's a nutty professor and
then it's hilarious. Funny you say funny.
Say I was taught by the Nutty Professor tabular. No, no.
What? Are you sure, you
big, fat man? Round fat man. Or very funny.
Okay, it's good you weren't taught by Buddy Love.
Now that horrible now compressor club. It was Professor Club. Good. Wow. And I did have a bit of a brief affair with the original nutty professor. Oh, yeah, way would make 11 even go.
And he's about 100 years of so they
replaced 1 90 professor with a 2nd 90
Perfection. He was let
go when Hay said some horrible things during his telethon. And hey had a telephone to raise money for mops every year.
It's tough because it's good, cause. But then you're an awful person. Yeah, and so it's like, What side of that do I for that compromise? Yeah, exactly. And that's what I'm always argue with me. It's like if I did charity, you couldn't hate misma uh,
remember. But so the answer is yes. I've been in a relationship with Professor Klump for about six or seven years, and I would love to get relationship in
what you guys do what you guys like to do. You go out, go to comedy clubs
like they go to comedy clubs. We like to see a young Dave compound. Yeah, it's not a lot of opportunities to do that. It's really card call up. All these comedy clubs like the highest young Dave should help before. And is he doing a exclusively crowd work set? No. What you talking about? How
that he would be possible Did propellants old Now
the past factory, he'll go up, go
up passwords, past factories, all throwback comment right there and we got But I got to tell you, Professor Klump hates car. Got those days?
Oh, yeah.
Hates it.
Because if there's any crowd work
and there is, uh, exclusively, I keep saying like he's like, Can we sit in the back? I
got No. We sit in the French. Yeah, even. I
mean, ah, young Dave Propelled obviously hurt his feelings, but even like young lampanelli will go pretty hard on, Uh,
yeah, across, of course. Rosat hymns.
Aziz Young con Quinn. I
was surprised. I mean, even young Lenny Bruce through a couple jabs on it was like,
yes, and it was. And they were the kind where I guess they were funny at 1.21 group of people. But now they were hard, cruel jokes, right? They were just sort of screams. Well, I just kind of
like rattling off a bunch of stuff in this started like, hey way, you know, saving. I don't even follow this. This is invalid Joe. Anyway, I'd love to give relationship advice. I think that, you know, maybe I could give your way. You guys have I mean, does anyone need some advice?
I do I do? I am at Ah, let me, uh, the sexually email from a color. It's not about me. It's an email from a caller. Uh,
not about you refusing
to take calls or think this is surely
about to come to you in a
dream? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That a color emailed me in a dream. It's not about me. Way all No, dreams are reality. It's not what's going on your own head. Um, So, uh, uh, this color is seeing somebody right now who is having trouble getting over a past relationship and that somebody is a widow and this caller has had to puppet the widow
about you. That is what's been happening with you 100% when we your story, right?
Think there are. That's the thing is love is universal. A lot of people have relatable situations like this one. What
is a pretty specific situation tonight? I don't get it.
If there's some distance between this call or email her thesis distance between that person and their partner who is a widow would suggest, just here's what you do, what I would do. OK, do what do its work
tomorrow he doesn't have advice.
Yes, I do. Yes. I dio invite them
to a dinner with every member of your family. Big dinner. Everybody see?
Think this is what it's worked for us. I
think this was a class and crave e. You started confidently with some advice and realized you didn't have any through.
You're just saying we don't need another one?
No. Hey, nice mouth relationship of Okay, fine. Give me some. What's your status? I'm eternally
lonely. I cannot be around another person for more than 30 minutes. And I love to turn myself into food and eat myself. Fix me,
OK, he won. Tricky Wendy Turning to food. Lonely, I guess I would say just to get outside the box here doesn't have advice. Nothing. Levy pulls a very real advice. I would encourage you to invite them to dinner with everybody.
No, no, no. That on.
What do you hope will happen of that dinner? Hercules? Hercules,
I hope that someone there will be named Hercules and someone else will be infused enough about something. They did that. They will clap for you. I don't think you haven't done
that. End of what I know. about clothe. So the next one surely will be really for May has to
be by process of elimination. I don't need a lot relationship
z you guys to say ask for advice for yourselves. I shouldn't have read an email. I should have said something personal about me. But it's nice that you guys were doing that.
I probably don't need much. Okay. Where you at? I'm pretty good. Yeah, Um happy you alone
would be happy to alone. Cappio, you said big tear.
I said big tear rolling down. Um, yeah, I'm I'm happy on my own, but I would love to have flooding down somebody tratar que disaffected talk.
Teoh is having a Damir need
pointing the gun at
is that that's your power and your face crying into his lab. I e o. Here's a knife. No. Okay. Howard compound. I've got a gun in one hand and a knife in the other. Thinks he's seeing ironic. By also a classic Chris craving style spin way, Bill craving and chriscr alien Atlantis and Alice is thes. Are the people in the universe Wait, That was wrong on six levels. But seriously, have you
seen an Alison Morissette concert. They are long,
They are long. And
she of
course data. John Stamos, Thank God. Chaotic moment
passed. I shot myself. Okay, Seriously. Can't stay calm. Let's stop the bleeding. Clears my advice
For what? You should do it. Your relationship with oil and it just Here's what you should do. I think you should have a telethon to raise money for your battered beatus. Your relationship. I
think I think the other way. Have a telethon and just pace around it. Walk right up to
the camera and shouted Would say like,
Hey, everybody, this is professor advice. But it isn't terrible advice were, well, emergency care. A telethon for Howard's battered PS Uh,
please plays how power is battered is
power Here. Here's a rubber below 911 stopped the bleeding.
911 Van high No one! We need Teoh, my friend shot. It's put your emergency started interrupting. Sorry. Oh, there's a
There's a delay on the funds
of Be careful, I help whichever
Why do you have a delay? Okay, this is terrible service on. You're a fucking idiot. You're right.
Now I'm so sorry
about that. No, no, I Apology not accepted. Let me speak to your manager.
Oh, no. Hi.
This is OK. Hi. I'd like a free limb. Are What's it called you? I time an ambulance. I compliment because that's what I take to get to rid
purpose Chocolates gone. I think that's by thank God that I don't know what that
is, but I think it's You
know, if you're gonna eat through this call, I don't need your help. Don't come here. We
don't need you either. Click
tied. It's
just us in here.
Just a core for this is it was always meant to be were elected will from
the problem of Howard's bloody beating and
Olive or gods of our guys was beef diapers and Bill took him. Also. We don't have to accept the bleeders. How
are not give you my sweatshirt, but I just got it here. Just got it's a
white gets Chris here. I brought a bunch of printed out copies of Chris Crazies. Crap High Newsletter. Just let me use that. Let me tie it around your painting paper cut all over the around. My big
We'll roll it up small Like Paris.
Like a pyroclastic
usage. Right and I'm just gonna smoke the cigarette. Real quick of alleged.
You put that thing out just like that. Like that. Out. No, please. Oh, no letters. Which I doused in lighter fluid. Why did Ideo with Charger? It's okay. God cauterize! I am not gonna die again. I am not lying. We're not gonna let you die. Go. No shock the Penis. Can we get that nutty Professor in here? Howard, staying with us. Stay with Are you surf or turf? Our are you team surfer team turf. I'm not now. Come on. The battle has to be figured out. Who did? Global warming is sea creatures. Wait. I'm
entering a dream state. I'm a trigger dream state because Howard center good at the other realm. Mentally connected, psychically linked in the red,
pulling out a computer,
having a psycho sexual connection.
Let me let me. Oh,
my God. Howard would be losing his virginity right now, but I have a Penis for
Howard emotionally losing his virginity
to have sex with someone without a Penis. Feeling lucky.
Oh, yeah, he got his results. Uh uh.
It's out taking meeting.
Hi, this is Todd Padres, riel of his first character. is a man making love without his
Penis. You're mad TV. Thank you
for your time. Mad TV's version of Lorne. And, uh, where we go.
Uh, Todd really is a pretty good way to
tell you everything I know. I don't have a Penis.
Yes, drift away was to be My energy is fading just like Howard's. It's almost as if this
both died was dying together. Uh oh. I can't lose a friend.
Alright. Howard's speaking Creole.
All right, John Newell,
Chris is connected to Howard.
Yea, my God is bringing the doctor live
in ST Teoh. Arrangements Street, the fresh corner
and ah! Oh, my God! That was me the whole time. I was hypnotizing them.
I didn't know I was so powerful. That must have been me. Oh, my God! I stopped him out of it. So I must have been in control the whole time, had my pieces
and bleeding it. Forget served versus turf. I'm a hypnotist. This'll is my calling. Make lemonade. Wait, No, I'm gonna do both Hannitized, the fish and the land animals to get along.
Wow! That was all hypnotism. Except for the part where we cut off and chart your Penis, that really have.
Yeah, but it's not bleeding anymore. And my list is gone. Wow. I really asked him. It's his home. Works. Well, Everybody check
out hugs at the Hamilton High School theater playing Thursday through Sunday.
Haven't even cast it.
Yeah, we're still trying to cast to pocket biggie, uh, for the big nude hug. Uh, it's the climax of the play special thanks to Chris for being in the studio.
Happy That be air Hope
I get to come back. Come back,
Margin. Whatever I did like this episode, I think we are gonna air it, so you're gonna get to hear yourself on the my
and again, greatest it. It's almost as if anyone who didn't listen
to the episodes that were originally behind the stitcher paywall will find this frustratingly inside.
Thanks for sticking with us anyway. And, Chris, why don't you take us out until next time?
Hey,
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