be in your way. Role for long.

Bill, Take your phones out.

Teoh,

Build 15 2nd No Skip disk a man.

Look at this. You see this little springboard? This thing sits on what? The little spring, You know, it's a C. It's zit this grand, but it's sitting on a shock absorber. A little Ah, spring plastic thing to keep it from skipping.

Yeah, it's got a little shock absorber like a jeep.

Yes. I mean, when I put it in my book bag, it is still skips a lot.

You walk around like a waiter. Hold it up. Right,

You know? Yes. You should get one of those. Dismantle that has Thea the buffer where it play. It has 30 seconds of protection where you can like you can just sit around for 30 seconds. And

yes, I did. Huh? I'm this week. I spent more money that I usually spend because I did hire Ah, guy from Senor Frogs. Ah, waiter there to hold my discman behind me when I went on runs, Um, and that seemed toe work, but it was expensive.

Well, he's significantly faster than you,

right? Yeah. You look like you're

a doctor. getting dragged on the leash,

I would have to take many breaks and he would rip the headphones off of my head. Um, and he got frustrated with me. He actually fired me. And I said, You can't do that. You're my employee. He

gave you all the money. You gave him back and said, I'm out of here.

Yeah, Yeah, he fired me. Uh, What, He fired you? Yes. Yeah. He brought me into his office at Senor Frogs. And what did show his office and senior frogs is

one of the boots in the back.

Look, that place is full of disrespectful people. I'm going to Newstead Frogs. It's a lot more formal. Everyone's way more polite. There were, with respect,

I know here in Mexico teaching English to Mexican Children. But remind me again, what do stat means

instead is the formal version of two or you so you would refer to, ah, someone with respect as a new stead instead of a two.

Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. So what's the difference

between Newstead frogs and Senor frogs?

You is clearer.

White tablecloth, fine dining,

white tablecloth, fine dining.

I heard those drinks that are long are even longer

and taller. Yeah, it xyz early. Fancier.

No, it's dose Met Racer two meters, but instead of a yard

out of plastic

and it's Ah, everybody wears suits and ties, and it's just a respectful way to party.

Well, until the wet T shirt contest,

well, the wet tuxedo contests

went tuxedo and wet. Um, bride's dress bride Stress. Yeah, but not dress, right? Yes. While you're selling wedding dresses, I've been looking for a bride's dress for years and that is the first

ride wears, but not necessarily in the wedding.

It's our answer outfit. Change? Yes, for the reception change. Well,

I've been enjoying Mexico. I think this is a nice little change of scenery and men do they love to party down here?

Yeah, Sam, you Ah, you have Ah, A lot of glass

bottom boats down here. Tourism thing. You go out, you take a look at the turtles. Um, you have you quickly turned your car you rented here into a glass bottom car?

Absolutely. Well, I'll say this. It was accidental, but it waas also profitable. So an

accident that left your car with a big hole in the bottom? Exactly. Exactly.

And glass. Bottom hole. It's not glass. Bottom car. It's a no bottom card,

right? Well, so you replace it

with blast. You just cut a hole in the bottom of your car.

Some people are saying that Yeah,

and no bottom driver as well.

Also, again,

a no bottom driver as well.

Yes, yeah, absolutely. Um e I'm nude on the cruise, and that's part of the same.

And you call a truce? Yeah,

it's called the Naked Cruz, and there's no bottom of the boat. There's no bottoms on the driver. The drinks are also bottomless in that there's no cups. Oh,

so they're not endless If you don't serve them. Correct. That's where we got a table money on that.

Everybody thinks it's bottomless martinis, which is risky, but instead they're just cups with holes. So we pour water and goes all over. Well, not the ground, but into the ocean.

So so you are for a water.

Well, we're picking up water from underneath the boat, Colin vodka pouring it in the glass and go straight back. It's a big grift,

right? So, Sam, you have not been You are

obviously our friend. You want to teach But you have yet to get your, um

degree. Yes. So far, all I have is my boating license, which a lot of people are disputing. But I haven't had my teacher's license yet. I just got my boater's license, which I'm pretty sure is what you get when you catch a big fish and they take a picture of

you. Okay? Boating license? Yeah. See, I don't think a picture of you with and when you say big fish, let's be clear. It is a small fish stick. You

It looks big in the picture

because you hold it is straight out

in front of you. Forced

perspective. We? Well, that's the thing. They don't tell you all those people that have caught Marlins. It's a nitric.

So when people say, Let me see your boater's license, you should have a picture of you holding a minnow close to a camera.

That's right. And then they say, no more questions. Let's get on this bottomless cruise. And I say, Hey, that sounds good, doesn't it?

Okay, so let's let's quickly clear

this up. You have a car

with a big

hole in the bottom of it that you drive around with no pants. But you also have a boat. You're operating illegally. Where you You operate that bottomless and you pour water through cups through tubes.

Well, I'm not convinced that the car is not also the boat.

I did want to clarify. You're right, I'm using. But the car is also the boat. It's one of these amphibious duck tour like experiences where we start on land and I drive straight down the beach. Sometimes I hit a person or two. We go straight into the

surf and your Shiri patrons air terrified. Do you think they're in a car and you're driving straight for the ocean?

Well, my Melissa Yes. Multiple times a day. There is

this, um, highlight reel from Grand Theft Auto game play of you

screaming down a hill, making your way towards the ocean and gliding into the ocean. And from what I can

tell immediately sinking.

That's right. Well, the other thing everybody has to know is the brakes are shot. So when I get going down the hill clear path, You know what I mean. We're a path from the hill to the ocean. If you hear us honking through and by Hong. I mean screaming.

Well, I can understand

the dispute. Ah, the Mexican people are having with this illegal ah, tourist attraction on. I guess when they gather at City Hall, I can't say that they there there. Ah, complaints. Air unfound.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm sorry that I'm a disrupter. I come into the tourism industry and I change everything. The line for this bottomless tour is so long and everybody else's business is suffering. And I'm

so let's talk about this line for a second. But I like it

might be a similar trick Is the fish It seems to me

like the pictures of the line are similar Trick as they were

saying that the picture of the line is me in a mirror with a mirror behind

me so that you're in the back of the pina colada line. You know, that's not the front of

your line. You are at the back of the pina colada line.

The line is long. It's all that people are saying. So you know, bottomless tour lines long. Come on down.

What? I think you should continue your your your teaching. Trying to get your teaching

license Yeah. Some people are saying I'm trying to teach driving on the tour, but people are not as interested. They're more interested in, you know where the fish where the drinks. Ah, is that that's not a license.

And you have people on the stores to offer to teach you how to drive because they're like, you obviously don't have to do this. Maybe I should take this as an opportunity to teach you how to track.

Yeah, and And people are finding that really rewarding, really rewarding. I'll tell you this, the 1st 5 minutes of every tour are pretty rocky. They're pretty Rocky. People aren't enjoying them. And people are saying this is a sham. This is completely not what I signed up for, but by the liar we pushing that are near this hill right there, just like it's a warning on this. All right, I have to hike up the hill to go on an ocean cruise. That's where they start. But then by minute 30 Sorry. Our 30 people have turned around. They say I have really taught this idiot a lot of stuff. I'm ready to deal with my riel life. Having taken on all this responsibility. It's Ah, people are saying it's good

Well, before we get fully into which probably start the episode Dominoes

Obama. Oh, that's right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the teacher's lounge. It's a podcast hosted by us four guys who teach. Uh, it's, you know, we have a great time together. We're good buddies, and it's just an opportunity for us to chill out and shack. I'm still working on that. I don't know, I that's not as concise as I wanted to be. Well,

I think you're going to get there. You're going to get there. You're gonna find your tuning.

Yeah. I

mean, as soon as we

all land at the same school, I think we'll be able to say we're at this school and its this school,

right? Podcasts. The podcast about this school, but and

we're stood on the word podcasts

because I don't know

where it's coming from here.

Well, yeah, I mean,

more like a radio play.

Yeah, I'm going to call it the Teacher's Lounge. The Howard Stern like radio play,

right? I think that'll work forever.

Yeah, maybe it's a Howard Stern radio play.

Yeah, That's good. We're copy and stern here.

Yeah. I mean, Stern is what do you think? And? And, Todd, you've been

trying to request a trade over to my school because a lot of you won't know this, but teaching it mirrors. Ah, trade in major league sports. Correct.

You can. You can go from school to school. Um, and obviously you have to trade, like for, like, so a really star studded teacher, someone the kids love. If you don't have someone like that, you have to throw in a bunch of crap to go with them. Fellow.

You were right

was traded for a bunch of school lunches.

So I got traded for a three week old bologna.

Uh, what happened to stage a star?

Well, I I have a trail was an insult. But now that Bologna has taken the theater program way further than I had, two of the students have been cast in soap operas. Uh, so I'm and I'm a this new school here. We're all in Cancun. We should say yes. Um, we're trying to work our way up back to American schools, but we all wanted we all ended up in Cancun and I got traded to the Cancun. Um, the Cancun triggerfish writes, Of course. And I'm trying to whip this theater department into shape here, um, and put together play. A lot of

people are unhappy with the trade, saying they were really relying on that baloney for school lunches, and now they don't have anything. Now, how does that feel?

Well, I keep telling her my thigh meat. You put that in a nice thin slicer, and that's like a bologna. You put some pimento in there. You So I'm sorry, Salted. An

aged. Wow, That's interesting. You're saying you'd like them to eat you?

Well, that just interesting idea

I've never thought of before.

Yeah, eat people time. It's not. That's people are I would never This is not gonna become

a thing now, eating? Absolutely not,

But I try to be Oh, yeah, Be responsible. What? We don't want any of our fans of our Howard Stern radio play. Oh, our podcast. Whatever. We're gonna end up calling it to be eating each other immediately.

Yeah, it's not funny. Teoh, eat your friends. Not funny. It's not a funny goof. It's not gonna be a thing that becomes a pattern,

but I'm excited here. Um, I've already kind of decided what play we're putting on. We've been working very hard on Ah, teacher learns Spanish on stage,

and you've been working very hard.

Well, it's That's the title of the play, and it's kind of immersive. Every night is different,

and that's because the the students are teaching you Spanish in there. They're bringing in new words, the real tabulate right. An audience

is students on students, his audience and

I heard the

actor gets frustrated a lot eat early in Act one.

Well, that's not written into it. But it has been happening throughout the rehearsals and performances. There's a lot of, like breaking number two pencils and saying

back in Spanish,

Uh, well, fuck Oh,

well, I really I really am proud of you taught for trying your best. Obviously, you don't know anything about the culture, and you came down here and said, I'm gonna dive in feet first and I think that's great.

That's right. We'll head first. Um, because they threw me off the plane before it landed. And I am top heavy. Your legs are frail, legs are frail. Shoulders, air I've been booking up. I've been doing Tai Bo so shoulders or huge, but I don't do any of the kick part of the kickboxing.

You can you just stand there at one point, your shoulders air. So

brought at this point when you were thrown off the plane, there was a quick moment where you were. You caught wind and you were flying and you started getting pulled by a boat. And there were some

tourists hanging underneath you.

Yeah, I became a kite sail for about seven days after they threw math about, uh, you

were badly sunburnt. Oh, yeah, Well,

the back just to wrap

your back,

My back with some it burned. My stomach was saltwater. Burn, um, weathered, weathered. And the big issue here is they knew if I landed, they wouldn't be able to get me up again. So the boat never stopped. They just kept me in the air as people switched over. And eventually because I got bloody, I kind of became chum and sharks were jumping for me. And the whole thing was happening. Yes, yes. So now I guess Mexico is the only country where it's illegal for me to be a kite sail,

which is ridiculous, because it would have been the perfect Adam to the bottomless cruise.

Oh, it can you get up, Teoh fast enough speeds on that thing?

Well,

not yet, but I mean, we'll see, You know, we could have some of the people that are on the tour to get in the back and start kicking.

Yeah. We gotta find a way for Sam to get rid of a wrecked car and have a boat that

Well, that's the next thing for the business. That bit of growth is to actually do it. Maybe Howard, what are you getting into, man? I mean, I haven't heard from you because I've been straight up on the water, you know, living that.

Yeah. You know, I came down here with the ah, with a very explicit goal. Not explicit. That was the wrong word. It's not an explicit goal. It's not a well, gross

one of your goals ended up being

explicit. Well ah, yeah, I I wanted Teoh. Uh, you guys, it's explained. I wanted not. So I don't want to say I don't want to.

Come on. It's your goal. Just started three. We'll start with a RealD goal, and then we'll say how it ended up being explicit. It's your goal.

Share your goal.

We do know that Howard wanted to be one of the butts that Cisco runs on when he performed songs on live. Oh,

yeah, we've Brick. Have we even talked about that yet? That spring MTV Spring break is in town. I feel interesting. It is. I mean, we've been

waiting for this for months. As soon as we found out it was gonna be Cancun, they started coming into town. They started building, uh, grotto esque stuff. Um, setting up. And as

you guys know, I'm a huge fan of Jerry Springer. You

write her pra preferably professor? Probably his. Um, I still don't know that word. Perfect for Lee for fan Private, is it? Preferably perfectly perfect. Perfectly at another. Be at the end, per for bably. I'm gonna get that. And then I'm gonna teach it to these Children. I'm in charge of, um but you're you love his final salts.

I do like his final thoughts because it feels like that's a time where it's all him. It's not the chaos of the show. It's him and he's the draw. The show for me. It's not the sort of Ah, the gross trashy people. I don't care about that stuff. I'm a springer guy.

I don't know the early you thought

spring or sold out when he started doing the paternity test. I didn't love to. You thought he was a real journalist?

I did. There. I protest. You guys saw I went Teoh. I picketed his studio. Ah, I also did a scam where I called in to apply to be on a show. Ah, and made up stories. And

you made it on you became the baby in a a test, isn't it? Yeah,

I did. I did. There was, ah, casting call for babies who are overtly sexual

like sexualized or like you're you're acting sect known and out in

the headline for the show is my baby's horny and I thought very this is gross How could you go there? How could you go there? So I applied and I showed up as a baby and I was not horny. I sand back. So it

was you at a movie, a baby and then a baby that looked a lot like d Angelo spinning on a lazy Susan.

Uh, yeah, yeah. Specifically DeAngelo from the untitled video. Uh

huh. Which is at the top of the charts. And I thought it was a genius

way for him to get out there.

Yeah, A lot of people are complaining that the camera stays too high. It should go lower. They want to see his hog. I say that's too explicit. It's two supposed to leave something to the imagination.

How was it sitting in the audition room with him where you're like a sexualized baby? I mean, this is going to DeAngelo for

sure, because it was actually d. Angela DeAngelo came in. Ah, it was It was frustrating, you know, because I had a plan a whole along I was going to go on the show. I was gonna pretend to be a sexy, horny baby. Ah, but I When I got on the show, I was gonna have ah, heart to heart with Jerry. So my goal. And in fact, in all journalism Yeah, my goal in all of this has been have an opportunity to confront Jerry Springer about how he sold out. And I and I have yet to have that opportunity, but I hear he's hosting Springer Break on Ah, MTV spring break this year. And so I'm going to show up every day when they were recording, looking for an opportunity to have a heart to heart with Jerry and let him know that we just want final thoughts only, All right, but you do a show that's like a daily show where you sort of touch on the news touch on ah, current events and give us your opinions because I think I think we're ready for that,

right, cause this is gonna be for a spring or purist. This is

gonna be a new low for you. I mean, it's just gonna be basically him trying toe, have a conversation with people who are just twerking and spraying each other with super soakers. Yeah, pretty

much it's it's It's the bassist Human Impulses, which I just think is not what Springer is all about.

He's a lawyer.

It's been hard, I think, for audiences to take your point when you're in a diaper thong. Uh, I think the sexy baby angle just made people lose a lot of respect.

You went from picketing, which was which you had a small news story about you. You know, you're gaining a little steam, and then you went

It was actually picture in picture in a normal news broadcast, there was no audio. It was just a small news story in the corner.

We just greatness. Um What's their name? I'm sorry. Great. Rennes Grannis Guinness Guinness screeched to a halt. And it was the smallest news story of all time, right?

Yeah, that's true. Which I I take pride in I mean, any any press is good press is what they say.

And this is never going away, by the way. It's at its height. And it's Guinness. Yeah, it's never going.

Oh, yeah, more popular. I'm a little

fed up with this new special Guinness that's coming out, which is all Guinness's smallest things. Smallest news story.

Well, we know why you're upset about it,

Todd. They reached out to you first as sort of the cover boy. Todd, why did you

bring this up? Why? Why would you possibly walk yourself into this?

Because it's pissing me off. I think that the fact that they

hit me with the crossover smallest Penis and smallest audience.

It was a crossover not to separate.

That's how I made. The cover is it was the two. It was too small things at once, and it was hurtful and offensive on We're all. It's not like I know I'm the cover man. I don't know who's saying Cover Boy out there. I'm a cover man, but we're all in it. Everybody made Guinness's smallest for different reasons.

Yeah, I think this is just your your ego backfiring. You wanted to be famous at all costs, and now you're unhappy with the type

of fame I did give them all access. I gave them all access interviews, candid photos, shaded photos

you put out you put up a toilet cam, forgiveness

unrequested. I set up of toilet care

and they didn't want any of that footage. Correct that mine was more ethereal. Um, I I was voted. I had the smallest impact,

really. And, well, everyone

on Earth, you have impacted society. Other humans,

they say, you know, like a life is worth lived if you can just reach one person, and they were able to prove that I have

left no impact on anyone. Well,

luckily, it's There's not a lot of information on you, cause the smallest impact page is we forgot who this guy waas way had a guy for.

Just image not available in every little square box. But I want it.

That's impressive. Ah, and as you guys know, I have I got Ah, smallest house. Ah, which is exciting? Smallest, huh? Because you guys know I I go for the smallest in that category thinking, thinking about downgrading when I get back to United States. Really? Yeah.

Can you downgrade any further? Oh,

yeah. Ah, Right now my house is ah, basically the size of a porta potty. Ah, with with in addition, you guys saw my new addition that I that I built when we story with that

you built the second story in your porta potty sized house.

I did it. So it's like a pillar I live in like a pillar

that spiral staircases. It winds quite tight.

It's gon has been You just kind of spit You just spin in place a little bit. Uh, but that second story has a great view.

How is this place been for you since you've been training for indoor trampoline ing?

Ah, Ruff Ruff

hard. Ah, uh, that I had to take the ceiling out. Eso I kind of live in a bucket. It's It's sort of a bucket now because there's no room because I need to trampoline. Um, because I'm hoping one day to get in the Olympics.

Oh,

good luck, Olympic sport.

It is an Olympic sport. They typically use full such trampolines. There's big sort of square ones, rectangular ones that are likes or industrial. Ah, I've been training, of course, on a mini tramp. Um, so it's I can't get the height. I can't really do the tricks, but I've got the up in the down. Well,

you're trying on a little six foot or a little six inch of travel for the ones that are supposed to shoot you up about 20 feet in the air. Uh, how's that going? Are you Do you feel like it's working at all?

No. Ah, it doesn't. It doesn't sort of prepare me for the future. Ah, it's kind of just sustaining and still a standing still sort of situation. Ah, hoping Teoh to build something that

I gotta ask you, Sam, we're now about three or four months out from. Why? To k not happening. How have you been doing with all of that? Financially? Your bunker, all your can food and stuff.

Well, I'll say this. I bet big on y two k happening. Uh, and so I'm still holding out Hope that it does

what you bet on y two k happening.

You if you did a

lot of short sales, right? And

land sales? Yeah, I put my house underground instead of building a bunker. I wanted the comforts of home. So I dug a hole and just dropped my house in it and then covered in dirt. Um, so that was a big bet.

What? I heard I heard this has

all been PR kind of a PR spin for you because you knowingly built your house on a tough foundation on on a, uh, on what a lot of Children would call

quicksands. Yeah, I didn't I didn't

get the best plot of land. Some people, some people, would say it's positioned precariously. Um, but instead, what the truth is, is that I chose to invest in White UK happening. That's what I think. I think White UK is definitely gonna happen, so I put my house underground. Um, I liquidated all of my assets. They didn't get swallowed up. I liquidated them on purpose.

Right. So you have Teoh coming. You coming

down to Mexico with us was in no way to escape debts.

No debtors, No way. No

way. Because you went into

halls all the time on your phone constantly that you are silencing and you pretend like we don't see you silence them. And you, you typically say you typically say you know somebody's name and go, Oh, or or a relationship to you. My niece. I'll

tell you this.

Get off me, dude,

What you say?

David was calling me an old friend and I just said, just blew him off.

I was your yearly and borrowing Davidoff 15 or 20 times a day. I don't know why

he wants to connect so badly. Honestly, it's like, let it die, My man, let the relationship die. I don't owe you any money. I don't owe you the deed. You know the

deed. You brought the deed up here.

Oh, yeah. My old friend David keeps calling me saying, technically, I've defaulted on the loan for my house and I owe him the D, but it's just an old friend playing jokes. So I silence him. Those air, not debtors calling me that hasn't.

But it is a friend calling about a debt. Well,

listen, it's confusing, okay? I've never made a good deal in my life, all right? And so I'm often on the run, and it's hard, but I'm trying to stabilize. Okay,

But listen, you can sleep

under my trundle bed as long as you want.

Thank you, God, what a what a kind offer to sleep underneath the trundle. That's

of course. I have closely

stuff in that little pull out, But you that the pullout drawer, the trundle, but you go underneath the pull it.

I was not being sarcastic. You know exactly how I like to sleep. I'm like a dog. I love my little area. I love it. So please put me in the hole.

You know, we're coming up on spring break. We're nearing after spring break. That's near the end of the school year. What do you guys feeling about Cancun? Are you trying to get traded or we're trying to stay here for the next year. Achieve dark Cancun, goals is a big question for May. I obviously wanted to be the greatest actor in all of Mexico. Um,

I feel like I've almost I almost

understand soccer now, um, and it help because I am coaching it. Right?

Well, you obviously don't understand it enough to tell the players not to touch the ball.

Well, it's been tough for me because a lot of my

things is Why don't you just guys just pick it up and throw it in there, um,

running in your hands, hold the ball and run into the goal. You

told the ball in your hands? Um, Why? You're

saying, Hey, let's play football down. Hut! Pick it up, Throw it to the end zone. This is

Yeah. Where are your helmets,

folks? Um, from the sidelines,

you notice them were in those little helmets on their shins?

Yeah. I mean, they're gonna need more than that. People are barely even

running into each other. Occasionally they kick each other in the legs. I'm like, I don't remember that from football. Don't do that. Um, let's get rid of these. These this piping down here with string on it in the end zone Can we move these

also? What's with all the lines on the field? Since when is there a circle on a football

field? And I can't hear a thing when these horns

air going off. You tell you about the like, the crowd,

the crowd. Yes. I'll tell you one thing. I do like

these well dressed umpires.

Well, yeah. Flashing colors. Yeah. They keep throwing

these little square cards at me. And I'm like, Is that your

number, sir? Cause I'd love to go out, and there's never there. Number

on it, So I don't know what's really going on. Well,

Bill, I know I've been looking up a little bit about soccer. Those cards are actually penalties. A yellow card is a sort of warning, and a red card is a year out of here.

Well, I do wonder why they're so

mad at me when they're asking me out on a date.

Yeah. You're thinking that was just some of that famous Latin flair?

Yes, of course. I love it. I love it. I was like, I want some of this in my life.

If it's leading to be mean to someone, rest them on a date I am 100% Spanish.

Yeah. You've had that. You've had that flirting with the line thing the whole time. This is not only for Utah.

Absolutely, Absolutely. Yeah. I

mean, like, I want it. I want to stay down

here. I like it down here. Are, you know, I'm bronzed up. Um, you know, I get the jog on the beach. You know, this past week, I've been kind of just hanging out in a little dinghy, um, outside the fashionably loud stage, Um, seeing if I can get a look it Molly Sims. Air Tyree's.

You've been pretending to fish right outside the fashionable at that stage.

Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, I've been I've been

trying to fish there, and there's very few fish in six inches of water. And my little dingy is getting battered and I'm get bowled over out there cause I'm right there where the waves break.

You didn't catch like, £140 frat guy from Boston University, right?

I did. I caught him. Can I released him? I released him, but not before I took a picture of him and I ended up in a total frat move magazine and I

don't I'll say about

the story as a daily infancy. Thes tourists can get cotton

released 50 times. You put a little mini alcohol bottle on the end of that line, you cast out you can catch the same. The same Boston College kid 34 times.

Oh, yeah.

I mean and don't get me wrong. I build a flip cup table the other day and put it right there in the in the low waves. And I just used a net and I called about seven or 12 up seven.

12 and what you did, you did. You flam flam fryman oil I catch

and release. Um I'm you know, I'm a gentleman. Fishermen. Occasionally they'll be one that's a bad egg, and I'll bounce him off the back of the boat and trying Teoh, you know, as if he was like a catfish or uh or, uh something that could sting you. But

again, a reminder. It's not funny to eat people now now

is prefer fishing onshore, offshore or polish or

I would love to Paul to fish off the poly short, but yeah, I just can't wease the juice. I don't know how to wease the juice, right? I try. I tried Aweys it onto the hook and special training you have to

have for that. It's like fly fishing.

Yeah, it's I never know how early to leave in the morning to to fish Pauly Shore. So he's a seasoned today. Sundown. Sundown. Okay. And I heard you need to talk to his mom Who books the comedy store.

Yeah, if you want to catch him, you got to find out where he is,

right? If you're trying to fish Pauly Shore, you got to call Mitzi Shore.

Yes, that's it as myth, Mitzi.

But I'm tryingto now that because I didn't know they were doing MTV Spring break here. But now that they are I mean, this is, I think, spring break. But it's my big break through. This is my chance to be on TV to be discovered again.

Do you think you're going to use it in with the crowd, Todd? I mean, it's a lot of sort of young coeds and college kids down here in a party. No offense, but what are you, like 50 60

55th year 50 or 60? But you look like 90

50 50 to 60. Look, 90

But hold up tied really quickly. You You seem to have

gotten changed by this small brush with fame. You had, um, in the in the late seventies, and it was oh so small. This brush with fame. You, um So you broke Is Guinness? Of course it was recognized by smallest. Get a smallest book. Um, you broke your ankle in the back of a soul train taping.

Not down the line.

I broke my ankle getting chased out of a soul train taping. Um, because what ended up happening was my my at the time. Now my legs are thin, but the time my legs filled out a bell bottoms, you couldn't find a bell bottom.

They filled out about guns were tied at the bottom. I remember

that. It was your ankle to the bell.

Yes, my my I had bell body.

You had to put them on upside down, right? You had to sort of put your feet up in the air so that the weight would sort of straighten amount, then stand up and poop.

Yeah. So and this was from the opposite of assault division. See? Right.

Yeah, this was assault. Plurality

is, you know, in

the seventies, everybody's doing cocaine. Obviously, I am not touching the stuff. You want to look cool, You're snorting salt, baby. You know I am. Yeah,

rushes a rush.

What's head against

a rush is a rash baby

rushes a rush And when that salt I mean, you're rubbing it on your gums. Once it hits back your throat, you lose, um, consciousness. And so I'm salted up its soul train. I'm stuffed into my tight fitting pants or bellbottoms and obviously they're not

the I would say

everybody's cutting in front of me. Um and so I'm trying to kind of squeeze my way to the front of the dance line I'm doing Ah eso I'm doing this staying alive and it

turns you into a bit

of a mosh pit of trying to show me out of there.

They This is

when the mosh pit was invented, right? If I'm not mistaken, this is the origin of the mosh pit. But

is it true you became Marsh? I Eventually it was an ankle

injury, but eventually it turned into becoming full mosh. But and it's just what it sounds like much on.

And then some people came up and had a nosh

soul train was not right next to shul train. And so it was on a Sunday at all these Jews that were at shul first that there was a mosh next door, came in and had a notch. And it was this great moment of while the other people on soul train mostly black and then all the people actual trade coming together to enjoy eating me.

So that was your brush with

fame getting mushed up at shul train. Um

never aired that episode because that that could have been your fame, but they just never aired it because they said it was so crazy.

It was so crazy and hard to explain to anybody on

again not funny to eat people not funny to eat. People don't do it. We, you know, were against it.

So I'm hoping this year I'll have some a little bigger than that brush. It did change May you know, it's what got me into acting. And so

So you're hoping to at some point over the spring break, spring spring break festivities kind of either do a monologue or or show off some of your acting chops and be seen by maybe a tech from the rial world. Or oh, uh,

I'm hoping Tech will get me into the second Van Wilder. I think the 1st 1 has come out by now, huh? Yeah. If Tech could see me A Nonda? Um, you know, I could if Rebecca remains stay, most could see me,

right? Rebecca Romaine, Padre, as you're calling her. Well,

no longer. There's been some legal conversations about that. Um,

no season to see if

I can do that. Desist. Justice is this is this

is Well, yeah. I mean, I'm looking Teoh. I love it down here and And we've been waiting for this because we all have a little bit of showbiz in our blood. And I would I would love to get a chance to host or or maybe throw out some news with Mr John Norris or or you know, uh, even walk the catwalk. It fashionably loud or or be, you know. Ah, Contestant on celebrity dream date something.

Would you wanna go on a date with or do you think you're the celebrity?

Well, I would love Teoh. I don't think I have.

You know, uh, I like to think me and Enrique Iglesias are similar. Um, but I don't know if I have the clout he does. So, you know, I would I would love to go on a date with Enrique. Ah, I would love to go on a date with pink. Uh, whoever's up there, I'm gonna be a contestant. And I would love

I. I think I would be a really good ah person to date a celebrity. You have really classy taste, Bill. I

love your taste. I mean, you could have said anyone who's down here for spring

flee. Thank you. I mean, I would love to be the bass player in crazy town. I don't really care

what it is is long as people are looking and

I know that might be a bad instinct, but I'm a showboating clown, baby. And you,

you notoriously have always been a person who seeks the approval of others. So, I mean, it makes sense that you would want, ah, famous person toe like you. Ah, and hold you.

Yes, because what could be better than having the approval of someone who's been approved now? A

lot of people have been wondering how. Because right now the captain of your soccer team is son wreak a and laziest, and he's not a very good soccer player. And a lot of people are wondering how that decision got made.

Sundry K. Yes, he, um he is not. There's apparently this

player that stands near the end zone and keeps the ball from going into it. Ah, he's kind of like, I guess, a cornerback, Um, or something like that. Ah, ah, ah. Once again, I keep they keep saying what this position is, but I can't hear, um, because the crowd is loud.

Well, they've been scored a lot of touchdowns on him.

Yes, he has totally moves on her side. Designs

in the back corner is not good, because the goal is in the back middle.

Right. So Enrique is afraid of

the ball. Um, he can see color, but he can't see black and white. Yeah, I I do think he is not gonna be the best. Um, whatever this position is, but his dad comes to pick him up. Um, and we talk. Uh, Enrique and me were pretty tight. I see him at the pizza parties and I'm gearing up, of course, the participates in trophy ceremony and a weird little picnic area. Um,

this year, one of the participation trophies is best

ab yes, which is, actually, um, there's a couple of

people up for that, but I do feel like so Enrique is probably going to take that home

on. A lot of the

kids were saying that their trophies air all extra small, but the best dad one is kind of ornate.

Well, I told these

Children, Ah, that when you make one trophy big, it's expensive. So the other ones have Teoh and they're like, Yeah, we know that's what we're talking about. Um, Bali

is a big, but that trophy plays a demo of you singing by law. Most part two.

It's like the trophy version of like, a greeting card. That's expensive.

Yes, when you do when the trophy is

sitting level, it begins to play Bala Most Part two, which which I have recorded, Um, I won't bore you guys with it. Now. I'm still sort of working on the mix, um,

and lyrics. It seems like the

lyrics and the

instruments because I want it to be all for me. Uh, so I'm hoping when I present best dad to son re k, he can put the the trophy on a level surface, and then bolivars part two will start playing, and then Enrique will hear it. And possibly that will trigger him to vote me. Um, as his celebrity data

can. I don't mean toe punch holes in this idea, but a trophy typically always sits on a flat surface. So this trophy that you made will constantly be playing pile about smart Teoh, unless you put it on an uneven surface. Which I don't think anybody's gonna put this gigantic trophy on an uneven

surface. How big is the truth? I've seen it. How big is it? It's taller than me. Have you seen

the Jesus statue in Rio? Additional.

It's modeled its to scale. Wow. Let's just say tourists are showing up to

look at it. Um,

and hearing Bilal most part to

wait Mama's for two is it's mostly me humming

the melody at this point because I know the melody. But I don't have all the lyrics yet,

right? You'll get there. Yes,

and some people have been criticizing you, but Of course, you have that great defense. I know the melody.

I know. Listen, this is how great songs are written. Highway to hell was it was initially he home. Who? He And you know that we all know that you've got the

whole like s seen on TV. Album of demo melodies of SARS?

Yes, interestingly Broke into I broke into every

recording artists home and got there What are now? Well, it will eventually be called voice nuts.

I still need to release that, Like as a compilation of now That's what I call melodies.

Yes, and I actually heard that Ah, the crash test dummies heard that you stole the master of one of their songs. So they just released it anyway, with with with, um, left right in it

that you got that right? Yeah, right. I know that song. And I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, but the same thing. It has

been a truly amazing experience being south of the border, and I can't wait to keep sopping it up. I just hope that I go back to work. I mean, this bottomless boat thing is going so well. I don't know if I'm gonna want to teach anymore

Well, anymore at

all. Well, yeah,

you you. But you need

something above board, Sam to at least run the money through because you're popping up on everybody's ah, strange list.

And I know that not what they it's what they call it in the police department is strange things, guys Strange. You have done anything illegal yet?

Yeah, I'm definitely not Ah, you know, being sought after. But I am being noticed. I am being noticed and saying, OK, this guy's peculiar every time he eats the combinations or just a little weird, those flavors don't go those flavors. Yes, bottomless everywhere. Why does he look like a baby duck? And technically, it's legal. But we know what's coming

right. And you know, my goal. Obviously have a heart to heart with Springer. That's number one. Ah, But also, I know that there's kids down here on spring break who I don't think have been taking school seriously. So I'm gonna take every opportunity I can to teach these kids something, even if it's in the middle of a big rave. Ah, I'm gonna I'm gonna take that opportunity to teach him something lightwave links the laser laser lights. They'll learn a little something about photons. I'm gonna take every opportunity to make it about school. I'm gonna take spring break and make it school. Okay? You've been that teach Teach beast each If every Thursday, two. PM Ah, beach teach. I take whatever is going on on the beach, and I turned into a lesson. Beached whale. We talk about bodily common decomposition. Uh, I did a ah, live dissection of a beached whale. Ah, A lot of stuff has happened around the beach whale.

That zit blew up on you.

Dissection. But you weren't exactly using an Exacto knife.

No. Well, it's thick skin, So you need something a bit more intense than Exacto knife I used

to. Do You have to have

the Jason mask on?

I didn't have to, but I was the only thing I had around. I didn't want whale guts blowing into my mouth.

So you just, um Exacto knife to too much dynamite. Have dissection. Should I say this? You cut it in down the middle.

You should see him try to open a

package. I use ah m nineties to open of a bag of Doritos. Wow. Yeah, explosives. That's my thing. I'll probably fall out of that. I don't think I'm gonna stick to that my whole life

Urine, explosives guy will.

But I will try

to knock on my door the other day and blue clean off.

Luckily, it sank right through the ground. So your

Yeah, I think,

uh, but also, you know, there's Ah, there's a lot of ah chaperones down here too. And you guys know I'm always looking for a relationship. Eso We'll see what happens in that department too. Yeah. I

think if if you found somebody in Cancun, I'm sure that would be a strong, lasting relationship.

Yeah. And you know, Howard could be time. Teoh, don't. We can

act. I know what you're trying to say. You know what you're trying to say? And it's

not We're not gonna be mean to you about this, okay? But it's time to connect with a woman, or

it's not that crazy that you're still a virgin. It's a little crazy.

Okay, well, let's not talk about that.

Whoever you have the experience for you, I want you to have the experience.

I have had the experience. I have to have you say so. It

just It just really doesn't seem like it, but yeah, Like like Todd said, if you say, you know, we believe

guys, we've never talked about my virginity before. Can we please never talk about it again? We brought it up once publicly. Can we please just never talk about my virginity? I'll respect that as a as

you make an effort to lose it.

Okay? S use drugs right now. If I try hard to lose my virginity, we'll never talk about it again. Yes, OK, we're never gonna talk about it again because I am going to try hard.

Great. Maybe I'll set you up. I have. Ah, I met someone. It is stead frogs. And she's about your age. Really? Uh, yeah. And she's Ah, freeze in Mexico for the year she won the lottery. So good money. Wealthy. Well,

I don't need money.

She won the lottery and then just spent a year in Mexico,

huh? Come on, You gotta fuck this lottery

winner meter. I'll meet her. Todd set me up. We'll go on a date. We'll see how it goes. Okay, great. Thank guys. Ah, I think we might be coming up on the end here.

Yeah, past the Allah, Vera, Because I need to take a break and, hell,

yeah. I got to go buy these kids some shoulder pads because they're going to get hurt.

All right? Yeah. We've got a tech rehearsal tonight, so, uh, I'm gonna go out to that, but I'll see Has it instead Frogs later.

So I wanted to remind you, Todd, you need to drink water.

I have been There's water, right by the like in the ocean.

That's that's gonna that's going to kill you. You gotta get a mission,

and it's saltwater two. It's gonna blow up your legs again.

Your son are you need to stay out of the ocean. You need to go indoors and drink water for about a week.

I've been drinking salt water.

I think so.

I have been drinking for my sponsor. This is bad. All right, well, guys has been fun.

Children. I've been drinking salt water.

What's up? O j telling me said hi.

OK. The guy say, I know we don't want any of your merchandise.

I take a little march.

Never mind. We do.

Bill wants a merch. Alright, guys. Well, thanks for listening, folks. We appreciate you tune in and

we got to come

up with a way to end these.

Yeah, I don't I think we should just

let him go out with a whimper,

but something uniform, you know?

Yes. You see him with a goodbye.

Maybe. Goodbye. That's good. Strike good. Ah,

I I don't know. I feel great.