Seekers' Lounge
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s09e31

Inner Ear Heist

Originally aired: April 15, 2020

In another 2000s-era episode recorded in Cancun, Howard spends an afternoon with Steve Wilkos, Todd fights with his parasite, and all the Teachers wonder: where are the chips?

0:00:00 Unknown Speaker #1

So wait, guys do when you stub your toe. Do you, uh, do you freak, Theo silently kind of scream through a muffled thing. What do you What do you do?

0:00:14 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean,

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God help the nearest person to move us toe

0:00:19 Unknown Speaker #1

where they e I always blame it on somebody.

0:00:22 Unknown Speaker #3

I take it out on them.

0:00:24 Unknown Speaker #1

I tripped on the street the other day. Um, and I I you know how Like when you trip and you turn around, you have cheese, us that crease and the concrete

0:00:34 Unknown Speaker #2

you blame. So you blame it? Yeah. You blame it on something that's not you, cause

0:00:38 Unknown Speaker #1

yeah, I had a whole pits. Ah. Portion of this sidewalk excavate excavated.

0:00:46 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, so you you went big. You went to the city council.

0:00:51 Unknown Speaker #1

I did it by the books. And, um,

0:00:56 Unknown Speaker #3

and and you sent that record. Not everyone who saw you trip. So they know that the city is dealt with in it was

0:01:02 Unknown Speaker #1

your fault. Solid seven days and a small detective crew to trace even people sitting at a nearby uh, patio cafe. Who Who said we didn't even see?

0:01:16 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, and it's like, Okay, I know you saw it thanks for trying to make me feel better, but this is more

0:01:21 Unknown Speaker #2

humiliating. I mean, that's happened to me constantly. Ah, or I've been humiliated. I have toe, I've had to stop even caring about it. I I honestly, from now on, if I humiliate myself in public, I just have to let it go because I have wasted too much of my life worrying about it.

0:01:38 Unknown Speaker #1

Do you Do you normally go down on on small creases? What's your typical public for fall or me?

0:01:46 Unknown Speaker #3

Howard's going down on anything, Bill.

0:01:48 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay, come on.

0:01:50 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, In on spring break. How it is dry.

0:01:53 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay, well, I've gone down on a few things in my day. Things Well,

0:01:59 Unknown Speaker #5

I don't I don't

0:02:01 Unknown Speaker #2

know. Don't let that hang in the air. We're not letting that hang in the air. I don't practice cunnilingus on stuff, okay? I've never tried to eat out stuff.

0:02:11 Unknown Speaker #1

How thirsty. And you were like, I'm just gonna go down on this water, found way. We were like, Don't say it like that.

0:02:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, I this actual physical act it was It was a kids one. It was a little kids water fountain. One of those ones It's only about a foot and 1/2 off the ground. I had to go down to it. I'm not. What? How do you say it? I'm

0:02:33 Unknown Speaker #4

not. Then when we're playing baseball that day out on the diamond, you're like God, I need a drink. I want to go down on this hose

0:02:39 Unknown Speaker #2

real quick. Well, again. Hose close to the ground. Had it's a It's a height.

0:02:43 Unknown Speaker #5

For what? About the act.

0:02:45 Unknown Speaker #4

I mean, we all saw what you did.

0:02:46 Unknown Speaker #5

How do you

0:02:47 Unknown Speaker #2

guys drink out of a hose?

0:02:48 Unknown Speaker #4

You were licking that you hold? It was you. Hold it with you. Minger him! Speak it. Toe head!

0:02:53 Unknown Speaker #3

Don't acted out. Howard not acted out.

0:02:55 Unknown Speaker #5

Howard, stop it! You're governed kind of Lingus right out here.

0:02:59 Unknown Speaker #3

I I'm sorry I brought this up. Honestly, this is on me, and I apologize.

0:03:03 Unknown Speaker #2

There's nothing weird about

0:03:05 Unknown Speaker #4

Hey, you know what? You know what this is? This is spring break. Taking a hold of you here.

0:03:09 Unknown Speaker #1

I co sign on you eating out a seven layer dip. We'll

0:03:16 Unknown Speaker #4

say that did look correct.

0:03:18 Unknown Speaker #1

That felt that felt fully find Well, im Here's my all hate out that dip.

0:03:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Here's my thing. If you don't provide chips with your dip, it's gonna get ate

0:03:28 Unknown Speaker #5

out. That is a rule change. Anything we're met were in

0:03:32 Unknown Speaker #2

Mexico. Here. Where the hell are the chips? Is what I'm asking.

0:03:35 Unknown Speaker #5

I'm wondering that, too. I haven't seen a single chip since we can wear our chip and feels

0:03:45 Unknown Speaker #2

to me like it's

0:03:46 Unknown Speaker #5

personal that their chips American Regs ago, where the chips, where are the chief? And this seems like

0:03:55 Unknown Speaker #1

a very America centric complaint. You know, we boil down an entire country to a thing you get before the meal. Yeah,

0:04:05 Unknown Speaker #5

but where are the damn chips?

0:04:07 Unknown Speaker #2

It's a good question because it's it's a stereotype. Even they give too many chips with their food.

0:04:13 Unknown Speaker #4

Why have I burned my last finger on the case? So I'm done. You cannot serve me hot bubbling case. Oh, and no chips. Do

0:04:21 Unknown Speaker #3

you think it's possible that the whole country got together and said, Hey, we're not going to give these guys chips? It feels like a conspiracy

0:04:30 Unknown Speaker #5

to us at Olive Garden with the breadsticks. Yeah, this wouldn't be

0:04:34 Unknown Speaker #4

the first time we've been boycotted off of freebies.

0:04:37 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, islands. The end led the bottomless french fries.

0:04:41 Unknown Speaker #4

I got holly

0:04:42 Unknown Speaker #1

pops at the bank

0:04:45 Unknown Speaker #3

lollipops in our pediatrician.

0:04:48 Unknown Speaker #2

It's a lot of lollipops that we've been cut off from if we're really being honest.

0:04:51 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, you did go down on that lollipop, and it was a little bit food.

0:04:58 Unknown Speaker #3

Now, Sam, I saw you, uh, speaking of tripping, I saw you trip, but it looked like it's more of an issue with how you tie your shoe laces together.

0:05:09 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, Yeah, I time together. Yeah, I time together because I'll tell you what, Down here, I have been losing stuff left and right, left and right. I've been losing stuff, so I got to tie everything down. Well, just walking around one day and one of the shoe laces just flew right off, and then you got one tightly tied shoe. You got one loosely tied shoe. Then the loosely tied shoe comes off. Then you're walking in circles. It's unbelievable. So I used because of the, you know, I got one long leg and one. Yeah, I wear tall shoes. So when I'm missing my four inches on one leg, it does sort of Ah, yeah, I where

0:05:51 Unknown Speaker #3

you're like to introduce for

0:05:53 Unknown Speaker #1

people that have one leg shorter than the other. But you wear Mom both feet.

0:05:57 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right. Once I found out you could make these things, but anybody could wear. Um, I said, Sure, I'll take the height. Wow, I walking around Mexico at a 6 4.5 tilted, Um, and it's getting a lot of looks.

0:06:14 Unknown Speaker #3

And so we all know you're a little shorter, so that means you're on a foot and 1/2 of, Ah, lift.

0:06:19 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right up your for 10. That's right. You were in the circus the

0:06:24 Unknown Speaker #1

other day in the audience, turned to, you

0:06:26 Unknown Speaker #4

know, they turned to the guy right behind me. It wasn't like they were

0:06:31 Unknown Speaker #1

like, Wow, look at this guy on Steltz.

0:06:34 Unknown Speaker #4

No, I think they were like, Look at that guy's shirt. Mickey Mouse. What? But

0:06:38 Unknown Speaker #3

then, I mean and I don't know. It might have been that, but why did they start to try to feed your peanuts?

0:06:44 Unknown Speaker #4

I don't know. I don't I don't think it's that they think I look like a lopsided elephant. I don't think that's what's going on. I did get prodded, and someone held a tiny stool up to my face. I'll tell you, if

0:06:55 Unknown Speaker #4

want to be confused, don't go to the circus because they make you feel like you're every animal.

0:06:55 Unknown Speaker #5

you don't

0:07:01 Unknown Speaker #1

a big group of people showed up and tried to save

0:07:01 Unknown Speaker #5

At one point,

0:07:04 Unknown Speaker #5

you. Yeah, absolutely. A s P c a

0:07:08 Unknown Speaker #4

showed up, and I said, I'm not a dog. Turns out they support all animals.

0:07:14 Unknown Speaker #5

Okay. Yeah. I thought the

0:07:16 Unknown Speaker #1

S P C A was specifically for cute dogs.

0:07:20 Unknown Speaker #4

No, no. They got elephants in the pound that they have tigers in the pound. Wow. Yeah. Be absolutely

0:07:29 Unknown Speaker #3

over to the pound.

0:07:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, they're caged up is a bigger cage.

0:07:32 Unknown Speaker #3

I might need to adopt an elephant. I would love the company.

0:07:35 Unknown Speaker #2

Todd, you don't need

0:07:36 Unknown Speaker #4

all that. I don't need emotional support,

0:07:38 Unknown Speaker #2

but you can't. I don't think you can handle it tied and elephants a big responsibility. That's

0:07:42 Unknown Speaker #1

why adopting an elephant once and it had something in its past. It was afraid of women, and it would freak out it constantly. Any woman would like a I kind of Ah, a little bowl cut.

0:07:57 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, like a specific. Its last owner was a woman with a bowl cut apparent

0:08:01 Unknown Speaker #5

I think its last

0:08:02 Unknown Speaker #1

owner was Kate Goslin. Wow. And it would freak out in Southern, uh, Nick Mac stores.

0:08:11 Unknown Speaker #2

Now, that's interesting. And also, I heard I heard that your elephant, particularly whenever you had ah, eight or more friends over really freaked the hell out.

0:08:21 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes, it was. It had been shown the rial world.

0:08:27 Unknown Speaker #2

Uh, it was Kate plus eight. I thought. Okay. Goslin show

0:08:31 Unknown Speaker #1

that the I jumped away from a thing that I set up.

0:08:38 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, I tell you, I wish you had told me about that elephant because I think there's no one I could relate to more than a big animal that is afraid of women. I think that I would we would have gotten along so well. And you know, when a mouse walks into the room, you know what I'm doing. You

0:08:54 Unknown Speaker #1

have it apple very high.

0:08:56 Unknown Speaker #4

You get on all your your nose, you get on all fours, breathe through your nose and look for the nearest peanut. We know exactly what you do in the mouse comes in.

0:09:05 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, fellas, sure. We start. What? I don't know what we're calling it. Are we going to call it? Ah, I think

0:09:11 Unknown Speaker #3

I was dreaming. And on the Howard Stern radio play,

0:09:13 Unknown Speaker #5

what were the

0:09:14 Unknown Speaker #1

stats last week for our Howard Stern radio show?

0:09:18 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, I got at least 40 from blasting it out of my Wrangler. Driving around town. You

0:09:25 Unknown Speaker #2

asked by 40 people. Is that how

0:09:27 Unknown Speaker #3

your gauging my drove near 40 people for the whole episode?

0:09:31 Unknown Speaker #2

I, of course, sent it. Ah, centered around. Ah, on. So I made little ah, little, uh, disks with it on there, and I sent it around. Many doesn't hurt. Yeah, I hadn't heard anything back yet. I

0:09:44 Unknown Speaker #3

want to introduce the episode, but hard. We should talk about your live journal has gotten very interesting. Ah, and you share in the podcasts on it. But you're also sharing a lot of really private thoughts.

0:09:55 Unknown Speaker #2

How do you know about my private life journal?

0:09:59 Unknown Speaker #4

Howard's private life?

0:10:00 Unknown Speaker #5

Have it sent to private? Don't.

0:10:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Uh, no, it's called Howard's private live journal. But you're posting to the internet.

0:10:07 Unknown Speaker #2

But if you put private in the title automatically does the settings, I can't figure settings out. So my very public and yeah, no, no.

0:10:18 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. I read your post last week. My first big experience.

0:10:21 Unknown Speaker #5

Wow. Yeah. I think your

0:10:25 Unknown Speaker #1

private live journal ended up on the what not to do disk the a O l sends out. Really? Yeah. It's kind of a cautionary tale for, ah, put out by one of the biggest corporations in the world.

0:10:41 Unknown Speaker #2

OK, well, then I just like to take this opportunity to say I was joking. All that's That's where I write all my jokes. Ah, it's

0:10:48 Unknown Speaker #1

I thought it was a very nice take on modern virginity.

0:10:55 Unknown Speaker #2

I think it was a parody I'm writing as a parody. It's It's It's satire.

0:11:01 Unknown Speaker #3

Howard. If we find out that your life's a parity all of a sudden makes perfect sense to me because your life doesn't in Serious is A is a brutal tale,

0:11:12 Unknown Speaker #4

you're either the saddest guy you satis guy I know or the funniest guy I know. You're either a genius parody satirist or you're just a sad regular guy.

0:11:24 Unknown Speaker #1

It does feel a little bit like the weigh ins got ahold of your life.

0:11:29 Unknown Speaker #2

That's interesting. Well, okay, then That's what we're gonna go with from now on. Everything in my whole life is a parody. Everything I do I have made the choice to do it. It's not because that's who I am or how sad I am. Ah, or anything like that. It's because I feel I am funny.

0:11:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Have you guys seen that New Wayans movie? By the way? Scary movie.

0:11:51 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, yeah, it's funny into it the other night on and I it blew me away.

0:12:00 Unknown Speaker #4

I need to I don't know. The source

0:12:02 Unknown Speaker #1

material is we're basing this thing on. What guy? Dad? That's family. Seemed like people in the theater knew the archetypes. And I was just like, What the heck is all this funny stand?

0:12:18 Unknown Speaker #4

You saw it in Spanish too, right?

0:12:20 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. Yeah, But you don't need to know what they're saying. It's all physical. You could watch it with sound off usual. My That girl had bats in her bush. Funny, funny In any language,

0:12:38 Unknown Speaker #2

Bill, I know you've been making an attempt to learn Spanish. Ah, has has any of that stuck? Are you still just stuck on Banyu?

0:12:47 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I learned it. I don't know if I'm necessarily making an attempt. I'm doing it out of ah mandatory. Ah, people being like this is the kitchen. You don't go to the bathroom in here, so I'm finding out Bon. Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom. I'm looking for Bon. You

0:13:08 Unknown Speaker #3

you know that banyan Cassina one is bathroom in one's kitchen Because you're being told that it's not one thing. It is the other. But you can't figure out which is which

0:13:17 Unknown Speaker #1

I cannot,

0:13:18 Unknown Speaker #4

because they always used both words together. This is not the ban. Yo, this is the Cucina, and you're like I'm here in both. Do I poop?

0:13:27 Unknown Speaker #1

I know. I made 12 pancakes in the bathroom the other

0:13:31 Unknown Speaker #5

night. How are they know? Awful. Todd Commercial. Todd, you got

0:13:41 Unknown Speaker #1

to get rid of that parasite.

0:13:43 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh, I think we are. In 2.5 months, we are legally married for having been together for seven years. I'm hoping I'm hoping to work it out.

0:13:56 Unknown Speaker #1

I heard your parasite is about done with your snoring and is in packing up her stuff.

0:14:04 Unknown Speaker #3

My parasite recorded me snoring and I thought that was so petty.

0:14:08 Unknown Speaker #4

That is so embarrassing.

0:14:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Here's what she's mad about is I don't actually snore when I sleep. I snow when I'm awake to get myself to fall asleep and I have examined. You're trying to trick

0:14:17 Unknown Speaker #2

yourself for long enough. My body, I think. M sleep

0:14:22 Unknown Speaker #3

Absolutely. So it's I mean, I have insomnia. So it's a night, sometimes 9 to 15. Our night of me just going awake wide awake, eyes open. Watching TV

0:14:35 Unknown Speaker #4

must be really annoying. I do have to say, though, for a parasite. Pretty needy. Have you already eaten everything off my body? Do you also need to control my behaviour?

0:14:46 Unknown Speaker #3

The parasite has told me I need to shape up my diet. Earthly.

0:14:52 Unknown Speaker #4

There you go. There's your solution.

0:14:53 Unknown Speaker #1

Pack up and leave.

0:14:55 Unknown Speaker #5

I can't lose it. What do we have? This stuff I solution? I know

0:14:58 Unknown Speaker #1

you're parasite waiting for the bus. The other day they come back

0:15:02 Unknown Speaker #4

really the first parasite to say You know what? I don't need this host.

0:15:08 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, it's so ironic because societally I've it's on my driver's license. I am legally a parasite. So for me to have my own now it's a tables turning situation, father or

0:15:21 Unknown Speaker #4

husband or however you look at it,

0:15:22 Unknown Speaker #3

the tour the same. Uh,

0:15:26 Unknown Speaker #4

you're an old man and you're everything that encapsulates.

0:15:29 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, but I use it. Bills are going on the bus the other day. It told me it was going out for a pack of cigarettes. Uh, and I haven't seen it since.

0:15:41 Unknown Speaker #5

I This is kind of funny,

0:15:43 Unknown Speaker #4

because I don't know, at a matter note is connected, but last week I did lose £5 pretty rapidly. Oh, my cheating. I'm not cheating scandal. I don't know. I don't I don't know if I have a parasite, but I have been eating mostly fried foods and losing a lot of weight. So

0:16:03 Unknown Speaker #1

your your parasite talked to me at the barbecue for way too long the other day, and I was like, What's going on here? And And the parasite offered to walk me to my car.

0:16:14 Unknown Speaker #4

I saw a couple of those arms shoulder touches to

0:16:16 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, guys, we can't just sit here and talk aimlessly for an hour like we wanted to turn this into, like, something that really gives. Gives people a reason to listen. Right? So why don't we start the actual show, which I guess? Well, since we all are teachers, it's the worst trove. I saw you rehearsing. Yeah, here we go. Everybody here. That rehearsal. Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls chosen of all ages. Thank you so much for listening to the teacher.

0:16:47 Unknown Speaker #5

I heard it at the circus,

0:16:50 Unknown Speaker #2

and I thought it was a really good intro. I didn't mean to trigger you

0:16:53 Unknown Speaker #3

anything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sam. Freaking out. We got a dip in the water. Get the reset.

0:16:57 Unknown Speaker #5

Put me through water. That's over some salt.

0:17:01 Unknown Speaker #3

Let's get you in Epsom Bath and dressed. The episode from Epsom.

0:17:04 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay, No.

0:17:05 Unknown Speaker #2

Anyway, this is a This is a podcast where four buddies who are also teachers chat about everything from teaching to their lives. Um, so everybody welcome. I, of course am Howard Levis. Ah, I am. Ah, really real sweet fella. Real good guy, smart and the kind of guy you want to hang out with. Thanks for listening.

0:17:26 Unknown Speaker #3

That was verbatim. Your dating profile video?

0:17:30 Unknown Speaker #2

What do you mean? My video dating profile?

0:17:33 Unknown Speaker #5

Theme? Confusion

0:17:37 Unknown Speaker #4

is on your end, my man. That was literally you just copied your dating profile and put it into our show.

0:17:43 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, I thought it it, uh, was a good intro. Uh, the lady who did it, who who shot it?

0:17:50 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay, because the

0:17:51 Unknown Speaker #2

service said it was really good it made. It made me seem friendly.

0:17:54 Unknown Speaker #4

Why don't you show you what a real intros like?

0:17:56 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay, I'd love for you, Sam.

0:17:58 Unknown Speaker #4

Folks, welcome back to the teacher's lounge. My name is Sam, Weatherman. I, like long walks on the beach cooking Italian food and back up because I need my space sometimes.

0:18:12 Unknown Speaker #2

But now that sounded just like a dating profile as well. What? That sounded exactly like like Like the little videos accomplishing videos. You see, you'll see you've seen it before. Where people put all these men, they tell they introduce themselves in a woman, picks and then they call the service on the

0:18:28 Unknown Speaker #4

first day of shooting from the hip.

0:18:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. So

0:18:32 Unknown Speaker #3

you wanted our listeners to know now that you, like, long walks on the beach and back up because you need your space sometimes,

0:18:38 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. It's

0:18:38 Unknown Speaker #4

a big deal when you're in Mexico and you run a duck boat service, I need space to back up. And I'm always

0:18:46 Unknown Speaker #3

on the beach. Baby, we should clarify that the service your own is called duck comma boat. And it's a boat that's out of control that people need to get out of the way.

0:18:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes, I say duck boat because it confuses people with the other successful, uh, amphibious tours.

0:19:04 Unknown Speaker #5

And they need to do

0:19:05 Unknown Speaker #1

more than duck. They need to swim six or seven feet down.

0:19:09 Unknown Speaker #4

Right? It should be called duck. Dive. Get out of the way. We're out of control.

0:19:13 Unknown Speaker #3

It's one of the deepest runners I've ever seen.

0:19:15 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, we really want to know where we're going. Once we get in the water, we want to be able to finally control ourselves. Because I landed Doesn't work.

0:19:23 Unknown Speaker #1

really gonna help you. I mean, Sam, I think your hustle is undeniable here that you want to enter the tourism industry here in Cancun. But you've yet to have been given a license. And I think it's because you're skimping on the mode of transportation.

0:19:23 Unknown Speaker #5

I think it's

0:19:47 Unknown Speaker #4

What do you mean?

0:19:48 Unknown Speaker #1

You want to get a car that has a bottom or a boat that does it on Lee go not zero miles an hour or 60 Straight ahead,

0:19:59 Unknown Speaker #4

right? Well, our sort of hook or catches, you've seen an amphibious tour. You've seen these car boats that work both on land and in water. What's the next. Most extreme thing you could do. Go on a tour where it doesn't work on land or on water. Nah, NFIB ius nine. This'd non fib IUs tour where on land you have to push with your feet because there's a hole in the bottom. But that's part of the workout. Because its extreme as well. And on water, you have to both swim and push me the rudder. But you also have to hold up the boat because it's a heavy metal hole. You know what I mean? So there's a lot of extreme workout there as well.

0:20:48 Unknown Speaker #2

I think we could take your ticket sales as a judge of whether or not this is a good idea. Sam, have you made any money in the past week?

0:20:56 Unknown Speaker #4

What? You heard

0:20:59 Unknown Speaker #2

what I consider money. I pesos.

0:21:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. Well, then, no. Okay, it Any pesos

0:21:05 Unknown Speaker #3

saying, what would you consider money?

0:21:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Love, I guess.

0:21:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Have you made any money in the past week? No.

0:21:13 Unknown Speaker #5

How are you? Are you having

0:21:16 Unknown Speaker #1

any repeat customers are or how are you even getting somebody to make the first mistake? Do you hang out near the cruise lines? What do you do

0:21:25 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes, for hang out right in the same hang out in the cruise lines. And when the cruises air all full, these people came for a water adventure, you know? And if the cruise they're full, they're spillover. And I'm a big spillover business, guys.

0:21:38 Unknown Speaker #3

You sure are. Yeah. You're a big spill overboard business right now.

0:21:42 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right. Nobody has made it from the beginning to the end of my tour without falling off the boat.

0:21:47 Unknown Speaker #3

Now, we

0:21:48 Unknown Speaker #3

not announced this. This is kind of exciting. You have made an exclusive deal with the Grim Reaper, right?

0:21:48 Unknown Speaker #5

should have

0:21:53 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right. That's right. Your first death is free, and and the 2nd 1 they charge you, But it's a good deal.

0:22:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. How did you start doing business with the Grim Reaper? It's not typically somebody who

0:22:09 Unknown Speaker #5

know this is

0:22:10 Unknown Speaker #4

my new ad. I do to deal with the Grim Reaper. Your first death is free. You're not gonna have to pay for this one. It's a good deal.

0:22:17 Unknown Speaker #3

you medical Grim Reaper at an L A folk concert?

0:22:17 Unknown Speaker #2

Are

0:22:20 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right. That's right. We're both big fans. We both love Abercrombie and Fitch. Um, and

0:22:27 Unknown Speaker #5

so did the Grim Reaper come down here for spring break. I think he

0:22:32 Unknown Speaker #4

came down because he heard about my business, and he knew that it would be sort of a nisi round up for him. I some you know what I mean? Like, he doesn't like to work hard either. He's already got to carry around the big sickle,

0:22:43 Unknown Speaker #1

so his job is typically coaxing people to the afterlife. But with you, it's much easier, and he can take a load off.

0:22:51 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, well, it's sort of like going to Costco, you know? You just buying and book. He doesn't have to do 10 little transactions. He'll just do a big round him up after, You know, I hit a bunch of people on the beach. Yeah.

0:23:02 Unknown Speaker #5

Grimm is actually very fun ways on our

0:23:06 Unknown Speaker #1

list. Well, the other night, when we went out with Graham, I mean, I had a I had a blast.

0:23:13 Unknown Speaker #3

I had a nice time. I wish you guys had been a little bit better friends to me because I thought the whole night he was grimaced and I made a fool of myself. I asked him a lot of embarrassing questions

0:23:24 Unknown Speaker #2

time. You don't need if the joke the joke question doesn't work once, don't try it 20 times.

0:23:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, if someone doesn't need to tell you to shut up for you to take the note, you know, as many times as you just went. Uh huh. And turned away. You probably should take in. The note from Grimm was trying to be nice to you.

0:23:41 Unknown Speaker #1

And you said, Why aren't you purple? Is that what you said?

0:23:44 Unknown Speaker #3

I asked him where Ronald was, like ass wearing purple. I said, you looking a little thin? I guess The camera does add £10.

0:23:51 Unknown Speaker #2

You said he should. When we were having dinner, you said you should call your buddy. I shouldn't eat this burger. I wish somebody would steal it from me.

0:23:58 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes, I was trying to meet the Hamburglar. Yeah.

0:24:01 Unknown Speaker #1

Now, in hindsight, it all makes it was really annoying at the time, but in high inside it, it makes a lot of sense.

0:24:08 Unknown Speaker #6

It does.

0:24:08 Unknown Speaker #3

But, you know, he likes the party. Grim likes to party.

0:24:11 Unknown Speaker #4

He does, and he can get you in anywhere. I mean, we had a couple of ah of issues at the door, and I don't know if you noticed it. But those bouncers were not a problem for long.

0:24:20 Unknown Speaker #2

No? Yeah. They dropped their

0:24:22 Unknown Speaker #4

tap on the shoulder and your right in the door.

0:24:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Not that their deaths were too chaotic for me. I didn't need that in the middle of my night. I didn't need this right.

0:24:30 Unknown Speaker #1

It was almost like, Ah, finish him on more comment.

0:24:34 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes. Yeah. What's up with

0:24:36 Unknown Speaker #4

Grim Reaper? Like turning and putting out his hands like, Yeah, Yeah, all like that. You don't like to see people murdered?

0:24:42 Unknown Speaker #2

He ripped a man's spine out, connected to his head. He did an upper cut into the guy's Jim, grabbed his handed, ripped his head off his spine, came out of his body and it looked like a little fish. It looked like a little fish that he was waving around. And then he put it in his knapsack. And and and then he walked away like nothing had happened. It was grows.

0:25:00 Unknown Speaker #5

You guys. Can you guys

0:25:02 Unknown Speaker #1

remind me why we can see grim? Because typically he is invisible. Correct.

0:25:10 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, I saw it. I met a lady on the beach who said I had a weird energy about me. Ah, and she And she said, Your experience of life is probably much different than other people's experiences of life. And I didn't think anything weird about that, cause Yeah, of course, we all have different experiences. You know, my life is very different in your guises, but I'm starting to think maybe she was sort of delivering a prophecy of some sort. Ah, and letting sounds Gladding wind, Yeah, maybe letting me know that I have some sort of connection with the afterlife that may ah, you know, make it make it easy for me to access that. Oh,

0:25:46 Unknown Speaker #3

that's cool. You should You should do the thing where people pay you money to talk to their dead loved ones. Oh, you should, You rich.

0:25:53 Unknown Speaker #2

It's interesting. You should say that. Ah, because I I after this lady, I tried to bring her to Springer with me because I was like, Oh, this lady's for shirt and Kinison. I'll say this lays a psychic. She's my friend. I'm her manager will get in. We get whatever didn't work out. Uh, I ended up having to spend the afternoon with Steve Wilco's, which from

0:26:17 Unknown Speaker #3

Jerry Springer's ah Body Man

0:26:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Famous Body man? Uh, yeah. Well, no, he's He's the guy who throws people off the stage if they're getting rowdy or, like

0:26:27 Unknown Speaker #4

are your fingers Body double is Harry Springer.

0:26:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, Harry Springer.

0:26:32 Unknown Speaker #5

While he's not a good body double, he lived a lot different. And let's

0:26:37 Unknown Speaker #4

just say we know how he looks different.

0:26:39 Unknown Speaker #5

It's pretty. Harry. Yeah. Hey, call it

0:26:43 Unknown Speaker #1

H A I R Y Springer.

0:26:46 Unknown Speaker #4

They should call it where Wolf Springer

0:26:48 Unknown Speaker #1

They should what he does. Howell. Any time it's not the father,

0:26:56 Unknown Speaker #4

it's a dead giveaway when it's Jerry hosting with Terry hosting because of the howling, when it's not the father,

0:27:03 Unknown Speaker #1

when they have to throw, meet up there, Teoh him.

0:27:07 Unknown Speaker #2

That's the real giveaway is when the stage is covered in Bram Eat. You

0:27:11 Unknown Speaker #4

know, think Jerry Springer would have an easier time finding a body double that looked like him, I guess. Well liked the name sound.

0:27:18 Unknown Speaker #3

There really are trying to get his other double rum springer to come, but you won't leave Pennsylvania,

0:27:25 Unknown Speaker #4

right? Right, which is silly because his name implies that he's

0:27:30 Unknown Speaker #5

definitely Dio would be

0:27:33 Unknown Speaker #1

fun and crazy when you finally made it. But he's not leaving. He's not. He's not the rial room spring.

0:27:39 Unknown Speaker #2

Not yet. I think you have to wait until he's 21 or something. Uh, but anyway, I So I ended up spending the afternoon with Wilders

0:27:48 Unknown Speaker #4

Fairy Springer.

0:27:49 Unknown Speaker #1

So you will close and clairvoyant?

0:27:52 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Ah, me at me.

0:27:55 Unknown Speaker #5

What did she say about Wilco's?

0:27:57 Unknown Speaker #2

She said I see a lot of potential in your future, and I was like, No,

0:28:02 Unknown Speaker #1

we can't have a

0:28:03 Unknown Speaker #4

spin. Will goes.

0:28:04 Unknown Speaker #2

No way this guy will get a spinoff That'll go in the similar slot, Springer. Because he's not. He's not the personality,

0:28:11 Unknown Speaker #4

not sex, like he's made of clay.

0:28:13 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and let me tell you. Yeah, I might as well be

0:28:16 Unknown Speaker #1

and spit. Well, you know, he went on to clay boxing match

0:28:22 Unknown Speaker #3

your celebrity deathmatch. Every does himself.

0:28:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, he didn't have to do a puppet. Uh,

0:28:28 Unknown Speaker #5

no way. But he went

0:28:29 Unknown Speaker #4

on clay boxing match box, which is slightly off brand and on VH one.

0:28:38 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Ah, but anyway, I actually ended up spending some good time with Wilco's, and he and I'd say we're friends. Ah, he told me. He told me I could come back any time, but I have to stay outside.

0:28:50 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, that's huge. That's one step closer to Springer for you. What did

0:28:53 Unknown Speaker #1

he say? Did he say that Springer's changed? He's different behind the scenes. What what's going on?

0:29:00 Unknown Speaker #2

I so far, he said. Listen, if you want to meet Springer, you have to complete my three challenges. And I was like, What

0:29:07 Unknown Speaker #5

is likely troll?

0:29:09 Unknown Speaker #2

He's swill Coast apparently is a Springer troll, and he said, He said, You have to complete my three challenges and then you'll finally be able to meet Springer And I said, Bring it on. I love a challenge. I'm good at this kind of stuff. I'm smart. This isn't going to be difficult for me. But then he told me it wasn't going to be a riddle. It wasn't doing anything like that.

0:29:31 Unknown Speaker #4

He doesn't speak in rhyme or anything. Full troll does the three rules three riddles. But nothing is in writing

0:29:39 Unknown Speaker #2

and he kind of just talks like this. He's like, Come on, man, come on. You got to do the three things. If you want to meet spring, you got to do three things at times like I'll do it, man. Turns out these things are gonna be very hard for me to do. They'd be very easy for an 18 year old spring breaker to do, but for me, an adult man and Cancun, it's not gonna be easy. First thing I got to do is he said, I got to do I have to complete a power. Our and I was like, What the hell does that mean? And he says to me, That's you gotta for an entire hour. Every 30 minutes or every 30 seconds, you gotta take a drink. And I was like, That's too much alcohol for me. Yeah, that's what you guys used to. Guys know what happens when I drink alcohol.

0:30:23 Unknown Speaker #3

You become your real self.

0:30:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay, now, nine. That's not

0:30:28 Unknown Speaker #4

the truth. Comes out the stuff you always try to bottle.

0:30:30 Unknown Speaker #1

You start furiously riding on the computer,

0:30:35 Unknown Speaker #5

Read your manifesto journal.

0:30:38 Unknown Speaker #3

You mouth along Savage Garden Lear. Explicit a little tear streaming down your eye.

0:30:42 Unknown Speaker #2

You guys gotta pretend that you haven't read my LIVEJOURNAL From now on, forget that information.

0:30:47 Unknown Speaker #3

That's an unforgettable livejournal.

0:30:49 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, well, anyway, I've scheduled this week I scheduled a power our so I'm gonna try to get this first task done to power Our I got these three kids. Ah, who came out here from Arizona State. They were like they were like,

0:31:03 Unknown Speaker #5

It's totally chill

0:31:04 Unknown Speaker #2

man s. So I'm gonna go to their ah rental cottage. Ah, and we're gonna do a power. Our so, uh, we'll see how it turns out I'm well on my way to meet and spring. I just got a completed three challenges. 1st 1

0:31:18 Unknown Speaker #7

power. Our

0:31:19 Unknown Speaker #4

That's awesome. I really hope you meet Springer. It's such a dream for, you

0:31:23 Unknown Speaker #5

know,

0:31:23 Unknown Speaker #4

And I think Listen, even if you don't get to meet him through proper channels were going down to his show, we're showing up.

0:31:30 Unknown Speaker #2

If I could get a ticket to Springer break, everything would be different every ever. Howard, be different

0:31:36 Unknown Speaker #3

as your friend. Let me promise you this you're gonna meet spring or even if I have to kidnap him. Okay? It's gonna happen. That's worst case scenario. But if I have to kidnap Springer, I'm willing, Teoh. I'm armed and dangerous according to the U. S. Government and I got your baby.

0:31:52 Unknown Speaker #4

You know, normally I think you're absolutely crazy, But I got your full back. I'll drive. Get away on this thing

0:31:58 Unknown Speaker #1

now, Todd, you went down to the open calls for, um, it's kind of a mini riel world that takes place over the course of the spring break.

0:32:11 Unknown Speaker #3

It's a one. It's like a one up, one off episode of Spring Break. They put four people together and just have him go wild on spring break. Um, so I went to the open calls, had to fudge some information because they were looking for college students 18 to 24. Obviously,

0:32:29 Unknown Speaker #2

laddie range

0:32:30 Unknown Speaker #3

failed out of college. And, you know, I could pull the look 18 to 24 but I can't get ah, fake I d quickly enough.

0:32:37 Unknown Speaker #1

But we we did a lot of, um, makeup for you. I thought you pulled it off and you got through the first round. Is that correct?

0:32:46 Unknown Speaker #3

I got through the first round because, you know, they found me to be very fascinating. They liked my monologue, which I guess not. A lot of people did monologues for their try outs. Nobody. They said, Um, and they're even filming the tryouts in the auditions for behind the scenes documentary. So I'm pretty excited for all this.

0:33:05 Unknown Speaker #4

Does it feel like they're filming everybody for the body? Since documentary,

0:33:09 Unknown Speaker #3

I haven't seen cameras on anybody else, really. And it's unprofessional. Cruel. Say that there's a lot of snickering going

0:33:16 Unknown Speaker #5

on. Uh, Asher is there.

0:33:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Have you seen any famous people Are any like,

0:33:23 Unknown Speaker #5

Have you seen an

0:33:24 Unknown Speaker #4

easy up that is constructed just outside of the building that you're in? That seems to have a lot of electrical

0:33:29 Unknown Speaker #3

everywhere I am everywhere I am, Um, there's an easier everyone about the light. It is empty except for me and one other person.

0:33:37 Unknown Speaker #2

And what fighting like in there is a big, bright,

0:33:40 Unknown Speaker #3

bright lighting blood

0:33:41 Unknown Speaker #4

restaurant you've ever been in? Well, you

0:33:43 Unknown Speaker #3

know me, lighting wise. I don't have great ice Arman Echo locator for the most part, but I can tell it's a little It's a little bright. It's a little blown out, and I'm seeing like the same kind of like redneck e, uh, white dude a lot. It was like my waiter and my driver

0:34:01 Unknown Speaker #1

are walking. Any yellow signs taped to phone poles that kind of indicate people were said, is they usually have the title of the of the project on there because

0:34:15 Unknown Speaker #5

I've been seeing I think the

0:34:17 Unknown Speaker #3

project is called, like a project underground. Ah, nice. Cool with the K, dude. I guess what they're calling the show because you're on U N K d Project underground. Next time you're on Fine. You're on a bunked.

0:34:31 Unknown Speaker #4

Dobley been punked in long term. You're

0:34:33 Unknown Speaker #2

being punked in Mexico. You're on the You're on the show, punk.

0:34:36 Unknown Speaker #3

There's no what are the odds that I'm getting parked for the 15th time in Mexico?

0:34:40 Unknown Speaker #5

It's just not possible. I think I realize

0:34:43 Unknown Speaker #2

that you're the easiest mark in the world and they just keep coming back to the well because

0:34:46 Unknown Speaker #1

they're that I huh is pumped officially on MTV or they down here testing? Are they testing pranks for celebrities? What? I d do you feel like you're being used multiple times? I

0:34:59 Unknown Speaker #3

think I may be a prank guinea pig,

0:35:04 Unknown Speaker #5

because people have

0:35:05 Unknown Speaker #4

been hassling you at grocery stores and stuff to they've been seeing how long it takes you to boil over.

0:35:11 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Yeah. And then at the end, they say this is the part where we would give you $100 if you didn't freak out. Um, right But I have

0:35:19 Unknown Speaker #5

the other day you

0:35:20 Unknown Speaker #1

were studying, um, I saw you with a lot of pictures of Frankie Muniz, and you were like, I need to be him today. I'm going to get, uh, pranks.

0:35:30 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what they tell me. And now that we're piecing it all together, come in at, like Frankie Muniz, we're gonna pretend. Prank you

0:35:38 Unknown Speaker #5

What for

0:35:39 Unknown Speaker #3

these practice episodes. A punt? It does sound like what you guys are saying is right. But first of all, my Muniz is great. Um, what you

0:35:46 Unknown Speaker #4

learn from looking, studying all those pictures

0:35:51 Unknown Speaker #5

to make you mean? It's so great. What did you learn by studying those pictures? Well, you know, a lot of

0:35:56 Unknown Speaker #3

actors will say they watch old footage of somebody. They get their mannerisms and stuff like that. For me, Human essence is in the photo. So municipal smile if it's a smiley picture, but he'll that kind of serious if it's a it's a less serious one. And obviously, you know, there's not We don't have, like, the Internet on our phones or anything, but I can't just get pictures of really quickly, so I got to take photos of them a lot of the time. Um, so a lot of the pictures air blurry. So my performances pretty blurry of him. A lot of them are like a hand up of a security guard. I have to assume what he looks like behind up. That's tough, but yeah, I think what you you guys are saying is possible. But I think what's actually happening is they're doing it behind the scenes documentary on me for the real world. Show that I'm gonna be on a real world

0:36:42 Unknown Speaker #2

show where there's only four people you said before and it only happens during spring break.

0:36:47 Unknown Speaker #3

What's more likely that I'm in a star on this show or that they're using me as a pretend celebrity to try pranks out on?

0:36:54 Unknown Speaker #5

I guess if I'm really

0:36:55 Unknown Speaker #2

thinking about it, neither one seems

0:36:57 Unknown Speaker #1

plausible. Well, I guess I have an idea. I did see, I did see And maybe this will stick. Maybe it won't. But I did see a lot of times with documentaries or or things like this that air tests the person they're filming ends up being more interesting than they initially thought, and it kind of cons interesting it becomes a, ah bigger project because I did see the signs changing that it

0:37:28 Unknown Speaker #5

did say punked tests and then, ah, eventually just artists. So the sign say punked test.

0:37:38 Unknown Speaker #3

But I think I do think it's project underground. Nice, cool, dude,

0:37:42 Unknown Speaker #5

but eventually just

0:37:43 Unknown Speaker #1

started changing. And they, uh, they just said Ugly old man to make There's a There's a new untitled documentary

0:37:54 Unknown Speaker #4

that makes me think it must be about Todd.

0:37:56 Unknown Speaker #5

Is that is that I don't know.

0:38:00 Unknown Speaker #3

Why would a documentary called Ugly Old Man be about May?

0:38:03 Unknown Speaker #5

Just because I'd be honest? Yeah,

0:38:07 Unknown Speaker #2

well, yourself in the mirror and tell me you think you're a handsome young man.

0:38:12 Unknown Speaker #3

Now here's an issue. I don't know if you guys have had this lately. My reflection is not showing up in mirrors anymore.

0:38:19 Unknown Speaker #1

We need to speak the clairvoyant about. Or did you just get rid of every mirror because they were devastating?

0:38:25 Unknown Speaker #3

I think it was the latter. Yeah, I think you're

0:38:27 Unknown Speaker #4

looking at the wall and saying, Huh Guess it doesn't work

0:38:30 Unknown Speaker #3

well. No, it's I think it was the latter. I'm looking at the ladder. What

0:38:34 Unknown Speaker #1

thing? Good. That painting of Brad Pitt above your sink in your bathroom. It

0:38:44 Unknown Speaker #5

doesn't fool anyone know? Yeah, we

0:38:50 Unknown Speaker #3

know that. What? I bring people in my bathroom and I go, Hey, look

0:38:54 Unknown Speaker #5

at what

0:38:54 Unknown Speaker #3

I look like. You stand over here and look in the mirror.

0:38:58 Unknown Speaker #5

Look at what I look like. I

0:39:00 Unknown Speaker #2

don't think it works on

0:39:01 Unknown Speaker #4

a Z. You move, you try to swivel the painting to make it work, and we're not buying it. Yeah.

0:39:08 Unknown Speaker #3

Okay. Well, maybe I need to touch up the painting a little

0:39:10 Unknown Speaker #5

more than I have

0:39:12 Unknown Speaker #2

past. I think it's dangerous to that. You've done this? Well, I won't. I won't suggest you've done this to your cars. You've put there's paintings of George Clooney in the rear view mirrors in your car. Uh, which is dangerous because you can't see behind you.

0:39:12 Unknown Speaker #4

in the

0:39:26 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, I tell you, I've been pulled over a lot of times in my life recently, forever. And you can get off. Cops will not give George Clooney a ticket. They want an autograph. So when a cop pulls me over, I go. Hey, check out that every mirror, anything talking,

0:39:43 Unknown Speaker #5

Teoh, but yeah, Then you have to make the cop

0:39:45 Unknown Speaker #4

get into your seat so you can see the angle that you see. George Clooney. A.

0:39:50 Unknown Speaker #3

The whole interaction is tough because it's like I used to step out of the car starting ago. Why don't you step into the car?

0:39:57 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, I mean, I think you just need to pick a reflection. Todd. Yeah.

0:40:01 Unknown Speaker #3

What? Including in the bathroom. Cleaning on the cards. Fitness Street. Let's go with pit in the bathroom. Clooney in the streets

0:40:10 Unknown Speaker #5

I I'm

0:40:14 Unknown Speaker #4

a pit in the bathroom and I'm including in the streets. That

0:40:16 Unknown Speaker #4

pretty nice little wine, Todd. Even you stop doing the painting thing. You might keep that line.

0:40:16 Unknown Speaker #5

is a

0:40:22 Unknown Speaker #5

What time? Ah, lot of times e. I know it can

0:40:26 Unknown Speaker #1

feel tough when the camera crew comes to your house and they say sound speeds on ugly old man. But, ah,

0:40:37 Unknown Speaker #3

Director Spike Jones,

0:40:41 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, that's going in there a lot of times.

0:40:45 Unknown Speaker #1

These can be just the thing that they propels you.

0:40:49 Unknown Speaker #3

A lot of famous actors got famous off of the documentary about how they were agreeable.

0:40:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Marlon Brando. Yeah, he got famous off the documentary that they made about Apocalypse Now.

0:41:01 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right. Hearts of darkness was what Brando blow up. And then people started going back ago. Oh, this other crap is not too bad looking him.

0:41:09 Unknown Speaker #2

Really? Yeah, because hearts of darkness made him look like such a good guy.

0:41:13 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. What have

0:41:14 Unknown Speaker #1

you, you know, use Spike Jones to help you get into Cem some spring break staff.

0:41:23 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, he following me around studying my dancing for a new music video. Like my mannerisms and dancing. So I'm excited for that.

0:41:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Took some wardrobe. Took some wardrobe from your closets for the same drugs

0:41:37 Unknown Speaker #3

for the same project. Yeah, he took a lot of work despite Jones. Rob May.

0:41:44 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, this is kind of cool, though, because he's

0:41:46 Unknown Speaker #4

an artist. I mean, think about how in demand you are from an artist. Kind of for

0:41:50 Unknown Speaker #3

the rest of great music. Video director, you know, have you seen the Foo Fighters ever long music video? Yeah, that. Yeah. Directly based off of my right hand. Yeah, because I got the oversized right hand from the salt the opposite of a deficiency. Now, this is a lot about me blowing up and my fame kind of my forthcoming fame, but, um, we do have to say that bill. I mean, I think you're you're about to be the next big thing.

0:42:20 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, that's very kind of you to say, Todd. And I mean, I will say that presenting son wreak a glace is with the best dad award. Um, if you remember last week, I had a huge trophy made that plays. Or when you put it on a level surface, it plays Bala most part to do with him coming. The exact melody of Palamos, Um, which I I didn't finish. I pulled in all night or trying to finish by the most part two

0:42:55 Unknown Speaker #3

that was from an all nighter

0:42:58 Unknown Speaker #1

or the final product is from an all nighter. You guys heard it. You were there when I presented it. Teoh, Enrique, son sundry k. Um, and his father was there. And what did you guys think of the reaction?

0:43:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Um, well, first of all, it was harder than we all thought to find a level surface at the presentation. So there was a lot of buildup.

0:43:22 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes, the inner ear I've found Ah, um an old I pulled in in their ear out of some old man living. I stolen old man's inner ear from my from an old folks home

0:43:40 Unknown Speaker #5

with a heist. I don't know what it engineer told you. That that was

0:43:43 Unknown Speaker #2

the simplest way to do this bill there. But there there are many other ways to figure out if something's level than taking a human enter ear.

0:43:51 Unknown Speaker #5

And somehow, is there a

0:43:53 Unknown Speaker #2

way for that to transfer information to a

0:43:56 Unknown Speaker #5

trophy I'm trying to

0:43:57 Unknown Speaker #3

do in Indiana Jones and take it real quick and replace it with something else?

0:44:02 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes, I put um Ah, a kidney stone.

0:44:11 Unknown Speaker #5

What? There was Israel. So I went to do the

0:44:14 Unknown Speaker #1

heist, and I realized I forgot the skittle I was gonna put in there. When I got to the old both home, I heard somebody screaming out Ah, a stone. So I grabbed it last minute and I replaced it.

0:44:33 Unknown Speaker #2

P covered stone, grabbed it and you put it in a man's head.

0:44:39 Unknown Speaker #4

You're so lucky that you could find something to replace the skittle.

0:44:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Have you guys seen

0:44:43 Unknown Speaker #5

this little man? It

0:44:46 Unknown Speaker #4

was such a huge part of the plan. When you lose the

0:44:48 Unknown Speaker #5

square, you know, half way down to the old folks home.

0:44:54 Unknown Speaker #4

And don't tell me you ate the skittle.

0:44:56 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, I didn't forget it. It was a green one. You

0:45:00 Unknown Speaker #2

absentmindedly through it in your

0:45:01 Unknown Speaker #5

mouth. Yeah. Oh,

0:45:03 Unknown Speaker #3

we all told you doing orange. If you do an orange, you won't want to eat it on the way over.

0:45:09 Unknown Speaker #4

You know I hate oranges. I hate oranges. And we're like,

0:45:12 Unknown Speaker #5

That's the point. I use my paper favor. You let a house with that yummy ass green apple skittle Too yummy. On top of burning a hole in my pocket. Yeah. You got to stop

0:45:28 Unknown Speaker #4

doing heists like this, my man. All of all of your little ploys and plans are always like,

0:45:35 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, yeah, I brought a honey bun Teoh, put in front of the laser out in front of the old folks home

0:45:44 Unknown Speaker #5

high security old folks on by the rice, Tiny black of ours no longer to be seen. Well, I'll tell

0:45:50 Unknown Speaker #3

you to do one of those coconut pink puffs. You don't like those?

0:45:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, Taking

0:45:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Lacey's. It's all right, Lisa. Star crunch. The worst of the little Debbie's.

0:46:03 Unknown Speaker #5

I think

0:46:03 Unknown Speaker #1

all of the energy I put into this inner ear heist is what kind of ruined the presentation to Enrique and come, you're exhausted. Became lackluster and he didn't Really Even the trophy was faulty. He compares your mama most Part two.

0:46:24 Unknown Speaker #3

We got halfway through your night. Obviously that the first in her ear you got wasn't the one you ended up using because you ended up eating round on the way home

0:46:32 Unknown Speaker #4

because, unfortunately, interiors agreeing. And you thought it was another lime green skittle?

0:46:38 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, yes, I got halfway there, and I was like,

0:46:40 Unknown Speaker #5

God damn, I got another

0:46:42 Unknown Speaker #1

one. And I crunched down on it, and I was like, Oh, no, that ain't it.

0:46:48 Unknown Speaker #4

The thing I love about you, Bill, is even when you're making a mistake, you're making it up. Full speed and full volume

0:46:53 Unknown Speaker #1

fulls made full volume, but

0:46:56 Unknown Speaker #5

yeah, I mean, I feel like I blew it

0:46:58 Unknown Speaker #1

with Enrique. Um, sorry he didn't He didn't really bite, you know? So I don't know how I'm gonna get on celebrity dream decked.

0:47:12 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Have you know, I just sort of talking to him. Just sort of getting to know him.

0:47:16 Unknown Speaker #5

You know what? The season's over

0:47:17 Unknown Speaker #1

now. The season's over. Yeah, we are. I do have a couple other leads. Um, Samantha Mumba. Remember her

0:47:36 Unknown Speaker #2

need to remember her. She's famous right

0:47:38 Unknown Speaker #5

now. She is? Yeah, Yeah, yeah,

0:47:43 Unknown Speaker #1

yeah, That's what I mean. Um, yeah, she sang one song. I think I could possibly have a shot with her.

0:47:54 Unknown Speaker #3

Of course, there was a little drive. A shooting up, singing mum, but number five and loot bag got mad

0:48:00 Unknown Speaker #4

Season desist.

0:48:03 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, yes, she got ousted from the lineup because of his Mumba number five, and so I feel like that fell apart. Um,

0:48:12 Unknown Speaker #5

I was thinking

0:48:13 Unknown Speaker #1

about sneaking my way into carrot tops. Act as a prop

0:48:18 Unknown Speaker #3

thinking about you did it?

0:48:22 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I was able to disguise myself as a lower rack of, ah, dishwasher on.

0:48:28 Unknown Speaker #4

That's of course, one of his famous props.

0:48:30 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, so and then he put a lamb on your head and said a rack of lamb and

0:48:35 Unknown Speaker #5

everyone was like, this'd

0:48:37 Unknown Speaker #4

good. Everybody yelling using

0:48:40 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, I bombed as one of his props.

0:48:45 Unknown Speaker #3

He got ended up getting pretty boot up their cause. Everyone was like, Hey, man, your face looks to normal, and we need you to be more buff. And he was like, OK, fine. You'll see.

0:48:55 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. You think I'm weak?

0:48:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Carrot Top left stages we go and you

0:48:59 Unknown Speaker #5

think I'm weak. You think you can take me? You'll see in 20

0:49:03 Unknown Speaker #1

15? Yeah. Screamed. I move into Vegas.

0:49:09 Unknown Speaker #3

I've never heard of the champ. Eyebrows. Look to riel

0:49:12 Unknown Speaker #5

before I can hear him hard. Yeah, it has been

0:49:19 Unknown Speaker #4

really cool with all the celebrities down here, don't you think? Because of spring break and all this spring break content, there's

0:49:25 Unknown Speaker #4

lot of celebs, you know? I got confused for M and M the other day. Oh, apparently were both very sunburned. And now people can't tell what our fast look like.

0:49:25 Unknown Speaker #5

a

0:49:33 Unknown Speaker #2

I'm not. You meant that he asked you to get confused for him. Uh, you said you got confused for M and M, and I got

0:49:40 Unknown Speaker #3

you get confused on my behalf.

0:49:42 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, yeah. No, that happens to me. All that just for free. Yeah, I just get confused.

0:49:48 Unknown Speaker #3

I mean, that literally just happened.

0:49:49 Unknown Speaker #4

I was talking about, you know? I mean, I don't know what where I'm talking about sunburns

0:49:56 Unknown Speaker #3

because your hair does grow out white. It grows out. Blood bleach, white.

0:50:01 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes, but only out of the sides and the top. Yeah, I'm fully read all through the top and then I have bright white coming out of the side of my head if you took a picture of it above my eyebrows. Looks a little bit like the top half of a hot dog in a

0:50:18 Unknown Speaker #1

time. Long is the top half

0:50:20 Unknown Speaker #4

red skin in the middle of any a little bun on either side of my hair.

0:50:23 Unknown Speaker #3

You know, your hot dogs, top or bottom. First

0:50:28 Unknown Speaker #4

I go top because that's where all the condiments are. And then I eat the plane bottom second.

0:50:34 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, I have second. I

0:50:40 Unknown Speaker #2

hold it like a corncob, and I eat the top with a bite of but on both sides smart. And then I've got just a strip of a Nkana meant id bread at the bottom that I throw away,

0:50:50 Unknown Speaker #4

right? I used to see my mom used to eat it like a corncob that she would go all the way around in so she would get all bun first, then all casing, then outer layer of meat than intervention. What she would call the core of meat way had a close relationship,

0:51:10 Unknown Speaker #2

and I know it is good to have all these celebrities around, but I got to say this. If 3 11 bullies me one more time, I am I am going to lose my mind. I need to

0:51:20 Unknown Speaker #1

hear from you a very syncopated beat.

0:51:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, And they had a big problem with your

0:51:26 Unknown Speaker #5

energy. Yeah, And I say, guys,

0:51:28 Unknown Speaker #2

take it up, take it out with my mama If you got a problem with my energy, she she made me. I'm not the first you need to bully. Okay? And I'm just sick of it, OK? Their

0:51:38 Unknown Speaker #5

music's

0:51:38 Unknown Speaker #2

not even that good. I'll say it in public right now. I don't even like 11.

0:51:43 Unknown Speaker #4

What color are they saying? Your energy is

0:51:45 Unknown Speaker #3

ugly, right?

0:51:46 Unknown Speaker #2

Ugly. Try again. Go back to the drawing board with that one is not very catchy,

0:51:51 Unknown Speaker #4

actually. Like that ugly is the color of your energy thing in

0:51:56 Unknown Speaker #2

front of them. They'll steal. Your idea is also

0:51:58 Unknown Speaker #3

and there D J is giving you newbies, But it's a ziff. He's scratching a record. Yeah, Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, getting bullied by rap rocker white rap rockers is definitely a bottom of the barrel. Way to live.

0:52:12 Unknown Speaker #4

It's horrible. Yeah, Yeah, just away from those guys. It's

0:52:15 Unknown Speaker #5

hard. They

0:52:17 Unknown Speaker #1

some boogie boarding last week, and I've been getting into boogie boarding and I took a real hard face. First fall in into the beach and into the surf, and it actually the saltwater slammed my eyeballs so bad that it blacked out most of the whites in my eyes. And I actually was walking down the street pretty much fully blind, and the basis from Limp Biscuit approached May and said, Ah, hey, cool eyes was bomb. Could I borrow your look? Really? No, I was, Yeah, I was quickly whisk or wheel chaired down because I couldn't see your anything. And I had a bunch of boogie boarding, rash and and blacked out eyes, and they started kind of like being like, Okay, we'll do This was okay,

0:53:15 Unknown Speaker #5

We'll just try, try. This isn't a style icon. That's and they love How long George

0:53:26 Unknown Speaker #6

it's.

0:53:29 Unknown Speaker #3

There's something about rockers in your style, because obviously Marilyn Manson took your body type and outfit for the dope show Music video.

0:53:36 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes, let's not bucket, head, bucket head. When I fell down in that KFC, it's crazy how, like

0:53:48 Unknown Speaker #4

all of your accidents become celebrity styles,

0:53:50 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean, Chili peppers did it did it with the socks on on their dicks.

0:53:55 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, that was when you were dealing with foot dick confusion, right?

0:54:01 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. I was constantly going into foot locker and saying, Give me size three inches

0:54:07 Unknown Speaker #5

on their huts. Finma Little Big Way. Knew what

0:54:13 Unknown Speaker #4

you meant by size three inches. But this is too big for

0:54:16 Unknown Speaker #1

you. Yeah, so I don't know. I mean, like, I feel like I maybe have gotten in with the lip biscuit guys.

0:54:24 Unknown Speaker #2

That's awesome. I mean, that's good. I guess it's good to have. I mean, that's that Seems like, yeah, that's your end to all these other celebrities. I mean, they're very well respected people, love. Like they own all the

0:54:34 Unknown Speaker #1

lead singer. Ah, he's possibly dating Christina Gilera.

0:54:39 Unknown Speaker #2

Wow. I mean, there you go, Bill.

0:54:41 Unknown Speaker #3

That's sure

0:54:42 Unknown Speaker #1

there's kind of Ah, a triangle between him, Eminem and Christina Gilera.

0:54:50 Unknown Speaker #5

So jealous. Wouldn't be

0:54:52 Unknown Speaker #4

so fun to hang out with them too.

0:54:54 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, God. Fred Durst in Christiania where What do

0:54:56 Unknown Speaker #3

they talk about?

0:54:56 Unknown Speaker #5

you think

0:54:57 Unknown Speaker #4

I would just love to be your person at that table like, Yeah, so fascinating.

0:55:02 Unknown Speaker #2

I think it could happen. I think it can happen while we're down here, I

0:55:06 Unknown Speaker #5

would be all right. Handsome footing. Yeah. You guys should come with me, take, like, ny my

0:55:12 Unknown Speaker #1

hair and go shop for hats. And, um, and put me in big, huge skate shoes and see how I look.

0:55:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Were they saying they didn't actually want to have a baby? But they wanted to see what their child together would look like. So they're kind of trying to

0:55:29 Unknown Speaker #3

murder during

0:55:29 Unknown Speaker #4

little baby Durst e angular.

0:55:31 Unknown Speaker #2

A little bit of her little baby.

0:55:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Not me. It they they put some long hair pieces in me and they push me around in a stroller.

0:55:43 Unknown Speaker #2

Now, is the belly button ring still infected?

0:55:46 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. Yes, it's It's in bad shape.

0:55:54 Unknown Speaker #4

And what are you doing to fight it? Or you rubbing an ice cube on it?

0:55:57 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm scrubbing than weird purple stuff they put on you in the hospital that dries up your umbilical cord. Oh, I'm pretty much rubbing my whole body in

0:56:07 Unknown Speaker #5

that. That's disgusting

0:56:10 Unknown Speaker #3

to me. And I'm Todd Padre. Um Ah, we ah, let's see a Todd padre.

0:56:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Should I have to go, You guys, I think I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah, sorry, Todd. I didn't mean to interrupt your thing there.

0:56:31 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, way haven't fully figured out intros yet, but I thought we should way

0:56:36 Unknown Speaker #1

should probably that up top instead

0:56:38 Unknown Speaker #2

of a tag it on the very end. I'll say, at the very least, doing the intro after an hour of talking is probably not gonna work, So we'll get better. At what? How about this? Next time we'll talk, we'll have a structure for the show. It'll be sort of like a little bit of gabbing a top. We'll jump into it a little. Do actual formal interest. I'll write something. All right. Some kind of intro for the great I'll write it down. I will write down with

0:57:04 Unknown Speaker #4

Let's lock it down because these ones don't really feel these last couple haven't really felt, releasable they felt more just like practice.

0:57:11 Unknown Speaker #3

All right, now we're putting these up for sure.

0:57:14 Unknown Speaker #2

I We'll see. We'll put it to a vote as we do everything.

0:57:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Let's put him in the time capsule and dig him up later.

0:57:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Hey, that ain't a bad

0:57:22 Unknown Speaker #4

idea. That's crazy.

0:57:24 Unknown Speaker #3

Right now we've got the time capsules a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which I don't think it's really like. Era specific

0:57:31 Unknown Speaker #1

name in there. Two.

0:57:32 Unknown Speaker #4

Guys. I gotta tell you something. What? We don't have a green Eminem or a PB and J in the time capsule living.

0:57:39 Unknown Speaker #2

He ate the PB

0:57:41 Unknown Speaker #4

I was or I wasn't hungry, but I was bored. Wait. Time

0:57:47 Unknown Speaker #2

capsules us off limits. Sam. From now on, time capsules off limits. Anything we put in there, you can eat it. You can't touch it. You can't listen to it for at least 20 years

0:57:56 Unknown Speaker #5

to be at least 20 years.

0:57:59 Unknown Speaker #4

That's tough. To be fair, our time capsule is a cooler. So I got confused and boards

0:58:06 Unknown Speaker #1

for It's a small snack. A glue cooler.

0:58:09 Unknown Speaker #3

We're maybe next week. We should open the time capsule from 1980.

0:58:14 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, but there's tons of

0:58:16 Unknown Speaker #4

food in there. Yeah,

0:58:19 Unknown Speaker #3

I don't remember what we put in there.

0:58:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, meeting once. You're probably all disintegrated.

0:58:25 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, it's probably no good. Well, Sam, go ahead and go use the bathroom. I guess we can all time kind of well off. It's time to go. It's fine.

0:58:33 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. I feel that ending, ending? I'm saying I got to go to the bathroom. No, it's

0:58:37 Unknown Speaker #2

OK. It's time to know

0:58:40 Unknown Speaker #1

as good. Last week was goodbye, but maybe you say, hey,

0:58:44 Unknown Speaker #4

um to go a Todd

0:58:48 Unknown Speaker #3

big bird. Sorry. Sorry

0:58:51 Unknown Speaker #1

for pollen apart here

0:58:53 Unknown Speaker #3

thinking parasites back, which is good news for my emotional health, but bad news for my physical health.

0:59:00 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I wish the parasite wouldn't walk me to my car. Tell her I said hi.

0:59:04 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, I guess. Tell her I said hi to

0:59:06 Unknown Speaker #3

I'm not telling my parasite your you to both said, uh

0:59:08 Unknown Speaker #5

OK, well, you know what? I'll be fatter without

0:59:10 Unknown Speaker #2

her. Also feel a little left out with parasite thing. I mean, if you parasite wants to come

0:59:15 Unknown Speaker #1

up with parricide her love the finger to you and Waggett. No,

0:59:20 Unknown Speaker #4

Shima towered. Howard, Let's be honest. You're never gonna have a parasite

0:59:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Now, that's funny that you should say that

0:59:26 Unknown Speaker #4

you couldn't get a parasite if you tried. Howard, you have no game.

0:59:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Guess what? I'm gonna drink the water this week.

0:59:32 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, he goes naked on the beach and put your butthole on the sand and see if you get a parasite. I doubt

0:59:39 Unknown Speaker #4

it, but can't. You couldn't get a parasite if it bit you in the ass

0:59:44 Unknown Speaker #2

when we'll see next week while we I guarantee you

0:59:46 Unknown Speaker #1

I will come and I will have a glass is a parasite.

0:59:52 Unknown Speaker #2

All right, well, I

0:59:54 Unknown Speaker #4

love you guys, but I really do have to go poo poo and pee pee.

0:59:57 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay? And that's it.

1:00:00 Unknown Speaker #3

That's it.