show how my looking how my my, my I'm not that burnt right to what I just put on Allah. Vera, some of the green, right, do more of a preemptive

approach to the sun rather than a a repair once the damage is that

Well, my whole thing is I want color. I want to be able to change the red to brown

right? Way back. You can't kind of turn back. You can't like over cook a steak and then go back to medium. You

know, I'm not trying, toe. I don't know if that's true. I'm not trying to un cook. I'm just trying to tan. You can't. You can't get 10 without breaking a couple of eggs. Well, listen, I I think it's great that you want to

get tan, but unfortunately, based on all the things we've seen, your red doesn't go to Brown. Well,

not no. I mean, I know, I know, but I think it's because I've only gotten a light red. You know what I mean? Oh, she was just deeper down. Yeah, you got to go deeper down because red turns a brown. We all know that we all know that if you keep adding

and you keep cooking, your red meat turns brown. So I'm trying to turn red meat brown.

So you're actually So you are trying to overcook yourself because you in your brain your skin is a steak and a pink Is is under is like, rare and undercooked. You want toe cook yourself so that the colors gone.

I don't listen, I'm not gonna cook myself. I don't think I'm food. That's not a thing for me. Well, last week, when you sit

yourself back, you were unhappy with how you're tan came out. So you sent yourself back to the

kitchen? Yeah. I was pissed off while I set myself back to the market

that had a kitchen because I wasn't satisfied with the taming oil. They sold me here. I returned the tanning oil and asked for butter. Nice, because but nothing Brown's like butter. Olive oil, no coconut oil. No,

we don't even use coconut oil. Yeah, but butter Brown's. Is it true? Ah, that that very famous, um, sunscreen company. Tropicana is a Tropicana.

There's Tropicana Banana boat. You got a few?

They've been really at our door trying to study you Yes, yes. They've been trying to

get me as the before or as the as the control. The no sunscreen option,

but not to dio. Yes,

yes. And also there is another company beating down my

door with a cease and desist. The company that has the dog pulling the bottoms off of the little kid. I tried to do

my own version of that, and apparently it was too offensive. You try because I have to pull your bottoms down. No, no, I wanted to face camera. I wanted to face camera. So when the dog pulled my undies down Unfortunately, it's photo Realistic is you can see a natural Penis. Full frontal.

Todd, get up. Wake up.

Sorry I wasn't asleep. I wasn't asleep with you.

You're fast asleep. Time?

No. Was

Dennis yet somehow? Just nodding. You were for giving us an affirmative, but you were sleeping

well. Ah, a little secret. If you've read my book on being married, a little secret to being married is you gotta learn how to agree, but just be asleep.

That book was so short. I remember. Yeah, On page three, it almost felt as if it was happening in real time on page three. It's It's said, like hold on, this isn't going that well. What's at all it's called Men are from Earth. Women are from who knows where

better from Earth Boehner from who knows where you can pick it

up? Um, uh, only borders bookstores right now, so

really took off it lifeway

christian bookstores. There was kind of, like a sort of churchmen who kind of throw off on their wives in a funny way. Uh, kind of following You had

a lot of kidding around, but it's devastating. A lot of like youth ministers were showing up to your Ah, I mean, I don't know

another word to call him other than rallies.

E you can't pick your fans, okay? Content

out there and you can't pick who likes it. And, um, you know, eventually it did kind of turn into a situation where I was just talking about my experience, But people really a certain type of guy really locked into it. Um and, you know, it took off a little bit.

Yeah, and these guys don't call themselves bad people. They just call themselves guys. Guys, right. We're just Josh. And

you just, you

know, it's Ah, it's bathroom talk is all it is

just Well, yes, that really was set up as the men's room. It was men's room themed

menu. It's all mens room stuff, so it's really

knows. Guys air themselves when they're in the bathroom there.

When I say row of urinals, I come alive. I really let loose and show my personality. I mean, because

everybody knows your pants or the thing that is keeping you from being yourself. If you can put 100 on a little bit, that's when when you're letting yourself hang out, that's when you're letting yourself.

What I mean, none of us will do stand up anywhere

unless we install a urine on the brick wall that's behind us

right back to audience. It

goes right off. Stay. Oh, yeah, pants, toe floor, back toe, audience

said, looking, looking over our shoulder

bare but looking over shoulder. And, of course, most of the humor is about stream stream, thickness size, a

string of how hard it is to be, how much it is like it feels like

a trick in your ladder, not talking about the jokes.

Yeah, no,

you don't have thick,

full stream. Your bombing?

Yeah. I always drink a lot of water before my set, so I know

I'm ready to be funny.

I heard you did a pretty popular droppin It tickles last night.

You did. You heard about that? Oh, my God. I went into tinkles. And let me tell you, that place was flushing like crazy. You were tables. Yeah. I didn't know you were tinkles. I was It was it. Shake, shake, zip. No, you were Yeah. I didn't know you were going up. It tinkles and Oh, yeah, I've been running around the whole circuit in Cancun. Absolutely. I didn't know if I would. We should book thes together. We should go hit the surgery.

I heard it's actually pretty easy toe poppin at the stream.

Yeah, well, this drop for everybody, The stream is so mainstream. A lot of hacks stuff going on. Yeah, I can. I tell you something disgusting. I start the stream the other day. God took a shit in the urinal. Called it a joke. That's not what we're talking about. Zoo mainstream. For May, it's to mainstream. Funny. The whole point is you get in front of a urinal. And then you show your truest

personality. It's not about the piss or the shit. It's about the jokes. It's about the things you say. While you're doing

that, you let out a fart. But that's not a joke. It's just natural. It's a point. How fun

is it? At the back table at Tinkles, You're all there.

Oh, my God. You're splitting the urinal cake. Oh, you A urinal cake has been brought out. You split it up into slices like a pie. Which is, of course, a play on words. Obviously, you're

not eating a real pissed, soaked urinal. Gay, no

fresh one that hasn't been used. So it's fun. It's fun. It's you and your funniest comedian buddies, and you're all just sort of going piecemeal on a little on a little disc, just

picking at it. Picking at it with a

person takes it somewhere. You take it a level up and listen. It gets messed up these tables. Have you guys ever had table side?

I'll do a table side blue water.

Yeah, but you gotta have him taken aside. I don't trust if they walk up with a full glass, I need to see the water go blue at the table. I don't like sitting at the chairs. I like sitting

at the puffy little seats. You know

what I'm talking about? Yes. This season,

when you stand up,

Yeah, they make a big exhale. When you sit down, that's too big. Exhales one from you and one from the sea. Well, yeah. I mean, like, I've been waiting all day to take a

load off and sit down

and our fan braces 80 to 90% female. So this is a lot of new information Teoh about men's bathroom stuff

and working at the urinals. Ah, feel free

to different. Do you think our experience in the bathroom is different than the women's? I mean, I know they have the full couch and the massaging bed and all that stuff. What, you think it's fresh? Alice. I'm jealous of

the full little foyer A. The women's room has. We don't get that. Ours goes straight. Two. Disgusting

There, I heard there's have mirrors in them.

Really? Yeah, I've heard that every women's room you walk into,

you have to sort of ascend a few stairs so that you feel a little

bit better. Every men's room I've gone into is underneath something.

Yeah,

it's It's like you're going into your own hero's journey into the deep abyss. A diva piss.

I feel like we need to probably actually get the show going, huh? Yes. Yeah, I I gave it some thought, and I have I have actually a pretty good intro, I think that I worked on for today. Put us on rails, baby. Yeah. So this is gonna be I think this and this one might stick. I think it's good. So I thought about it a lot, so I really hope you guys like it. Okay, we

recording now. Is this all going to be in there?

Ah, yes. We've been recording this whole time.

Okay. I didn't know

that. You know, as soon as I got here, I started.

I've been recording this whole time.

You

don't want people

to hear what I just said?

Well, yeah, well arising from now. Let us know when you're recording.

Okay? Okay. I will. From now on, I will let you know that that I'm recording. Ah, and I think and I think again, I've put a lot of work into this one. So please go easy on me.

You have

yours. OK, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the education home. We are your favorite four guys who like to spread the knowledge. That's right. I'm Howard Levis, your piss prospector. And I'm here with my three best friends.

Sounds a little bit like Moviefone, which I call

all the time these days.

Yeah? What do you think is Does it work? Is it bad? What do you get? Noticed? Appreciated. But

let's start with

the education home. I've never heard that ever.

Well, that I'm trying to. I'm trying to, like, sort of break new ground. You know, I'm trying to figure out what's our niece. You know, four guys who all have our teaching licenses, or Sam. Oh,

yeah. I mean, like, I heard I had never

heard of Napster, you know, before it came out right. But now it's out, and it was huge, but

what is Napster? Napster doesn't tell you what it is. Your your your your radio show should have a name that tells you out of the gate. What it iss. And it should just be clear and straight straight forward we are educators. We, ah, come together in a home of sorts to record this. And,

well, I thought Napster was Todd's app

that he was working on when he was tired.

He had that. And, yes, there are APs. We went over this last week, folks. All APS already exists.

There's just a slow rollout were in the year

2000 and there's a slow roller. There's been motors, PayPal and everything. You know, they're Spotify zone, everything, obviously everything. You know, the wallet, apple wall, it's all there. So Todd was working on an app called Napster because, of course, as

you just heard, he we woke his ass up.

It's and it's an app that stirs you while you're napping. So you

you know, it wakes you up. If you've been napping too long, it's all

right. It's kind of like a Fitbit that comptel when you're fully idol and Joe now, does it not work because you were live on air earlier and napping and it didn't stir you awake? We had sort of shaky.

I want to answer all the questions in the media on to my face

standing up, getting up behind a Shibley made podium.

Okay, this podium rules.

That's a refrigerator that it doesn't rule. It's a

refrigerator box that you wrote podium on

no podium rules.

It even says Podium on the front. And it's spelled correctly with a couple cross assets.

It says potty. Um, yeah, and there's a p o t. T. And here's what I will say about this epidemic started in the toilet, and it's not gonna get

any me. Hey, once we start talking about my ship, we're going right

back. If you I didn't want to bring it up, but you we could have wrapped the episode up with your 10 minutes in with your pissed prospect

if you guys don't mind. Also because of the misspell on here, if you see any little toddlers running employment, different direction

well, there's it's packed full of died eyes. I'll say that way. Yes, you're you're taking questions. Yes, Mr Mr Patra. Uh, Bill is gravy. The education home sounds good. Yes, still, Yes. So I most it sounds like you have narcolepsy. Maybe you should just get treated for narcolepsy. Sir,

That's a disgusting question. How dare you? It's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm more awake than I've ever been. Well, there

goes and there goes.

But I said, that's not a It's not an interesting thing to say

Way you know, baby Bubba, but okay, wait, wait. Let's look at the AP lit up sleep. Let's look at the article to see how it stirs him away. Limited in store. Um, yeah, yeah. Above, above way. It looks like you start to stir. Wait. Now know your story. Oh, he's stirring pasta. Just remember, remember? Remember you. Hey, wait. Okay, so now he's asleep, but he's stirring pasta because of Napster. Oh, my God. He said a woman. Oh, my God. He's putting a classic red and white Italian table body. No, you seem. Is the movie or or musical? Mamma mia Gonna have anything to do with this? Or is it just like Italian in general? I'm not the father. Okay? Me there. Actually, Mom, I don't like maybe Todd's awake and just likes the attention. Okay, Todd, quitting? He's up. Your doesn't work, but we'll talk

to you if you want. Okay. He's pretending to get up.

Oh, sorry. I must have dozed off just a bit. They're

tied. What was that? Four? Your Did it work? You did a little thing You did, Mamma Mia. And Italian food. What? And you've made a podium out of diapers. This is ridiculous.

But I disagree. I disagree That podium rules. Thea up works, and I wasn't asleep.

Well, how about this? Can I try the APP?

Yes, you were. Yes, it doesn't. No, it doesn't or whatever.

Go ahead. Try the

I. I'll try it. And I'm gonna I'm not gonna do it now. I'll wear it and I'll let myself naturally fall asleep and see what it does. Okay? Yeah. We're not gonna not. I'm not gonna force a trial right now. I want to work the way that it works and see what happens.

Do you have any history of heart problems in your family?

Not even a little bit. We gotta strongest hearts in America. Really? Doctor said that doctor said thick heart walls. Oh,

it's like a little bit over the top. Why would a doctor say that to you?

I was scared. I was scared. I went in and I was really terrified. And he obviously was saying things just to make me feel better. But, I mean, it seemed like he was, you know, maybe exaggerating. But also

did he look at your X ray and then give a big grimaced before he said

no, He should look to me. I said, I don't even need to look at your heart your your X ray to know that you've got a big old thick heart walls You look healthy as an ox onda and and you don't even need Honestly you don't even need me is what he said Ah, so I I stopped going He said You'll be fine Come back when you're 50. I

back when you're 50. I heard that e live. I live 10 years completely. Say, How old are you? I'm

40 on the dot It's kind of our bill.

Oh, fuck. It's fun. Yeah. Howard, go to sleep. Let's see if Napster works,

okay? I mean, I'll try. I'm not super sleeping right now.

I just get more medical questions, but go. Go ahead, go to sleep. I'm sure your

guys I'm gonna try my competing app. LimeWire on him when he's a state. So put this over his neck, but discovers neck

this little this little necklace made of limes?

Because yes, on a wire try that. Tried a good what's the effect of putting a few limes? Well, it's obviously, if you've if you're making marks and you're like, where the heck did I put that lime? You have your LimeWire on your you know?

I mean, you guys

have made marks and you lost your lines. Absolutely. I lost my line and I lost my mind. And then I fell asleep. Just taking

the whispers going just sort of like, Can you get your mouth a little closer? My Here. Here. Yes. Here. You for something? Has. So we're all mouth to ear. Just so everybody

knows. So we have kind of like that. I can't quite hear, Bill. I can I can I actually weigh? Don't get here, Todd. We need to wrap around. It's like kind of like a human centipede clip. Mouth to ear ear. Repeat

your incentive. It exists.

All right. Mine also severely e might also severely shocks, so we'll see.

OK, It's where you guys can both hear through my head for some reason.

Yeah, I didn't time. Can I be honest? I can see through this thing? Let

me. There's, like note on it. Sounds like a bongo way. It's available in there.

Okay. I wanted to this once and for all. Leave him asleep. Who really, Into my head. Sleep.

So, Todd, you're telling me because we've talked about this. You're telling me the the plot for men in black was not you? No. But here we are with someone living inside your head in a hollow hole.

It's different. It's different.

I was thinking it. Let me just talk on your ear. Here. No talking here. Whose head was? How motherfuckers. Beetlejuice. There's a tiny Beetlejuice living inside of Tod's head parroting Todd, this can't be true. Maybe we're the ones who are asleep. Way so sour.

You guys all fell asleep for for a minute. All three of you at the same

Jesus were Napster. Wake us up.

I had the weirdest dream of my own. Really?

When did we go to sleep? Because were we dreaming that we put LimeWire around your neck? Or

did that actually happen?

Yeah. Howard. Well, what has happened? Ah, with all four of us.

Uh, I was talking about my heart and then I guess you guys were so bored with me talking about my health that you all three fell asleep.

Oh, yeah, I remember that. I passed right out. Yeah, for you. You like sticking your help businesses. You listing off

your elements is actually become a A track. This different CEOs or passing around to help them fall asleep at night is a correct

It's a little mask, the other calling it a guided meditation. But it's really just me talking about what's wrong with me.

Yeah, they're saying that there's no better way to clear your mind than for you to try to get someone's attention.

Yeah, yeah, it honestly, it's hard. It's hurtful for me because in

the absence you can. Like you said, we can't control our fans. We put things out into the atmosphere and people show up, and that happens. And we double down on what we were doing as if it was art. Pretty concise. Bill. Yeah,

I'm speaking of which, my new book, Where is my Allah? Money is coming out in Ah, two weeks. Um, really? It's 200 pages of paper and ah, 28 of writing,

and now you included all those extra blank pieces of paper for other people to finish the

story. It's your story to finish my hands. It's your

strength. Heard? I've never heard a

book. Uh, kind of, um ah. Promoted by the actual physical thing you receive, Like how hard the hardback is You would you would go into for a while

are hardback is soft, so don't worry about that. We've got one of the softest hardbacks out there, so you can put it in a backpack for a plane trip, and it won't take up too much space. We're working on being sold at the Hudson News won't have us, but,

uh, they getting are they getting picky,

but seduces suddenly picky.

They will have anything, and they won't even put you in like

a Tuscaloosa. Like a smaller airport. They won't put you in, you know, Boise or something.

No, they won't even put me in a small airport. I

I was I was in the back

of of a filthy bookstore. Um, and I went through the little curtain and your books back there.

Yes, the mud seuin news.

And this is what this is. And by filthy bookstore Bill do you mean? Just a dirty regular bookstore? Do you mean? I mean, one of those places where you go give

people's pennies to get naked for you? A peep show?

You're not a blessed any people. I was at a penny people. You had a penny people. They were selling tots book in the back. Well, I perform at a penny peep. What do you perform? Well, I'm showing my but should I'm tap dancing naked, Attempted to closed. You'll do a T for two, right? I'll duty for two. I go. I mean, I got turned away at

all the regular peeps and I just kept going down and down and down

is a big flyer saying check me out at Nickel Peep this week. Yeah, well, that way peep all week. That was wishful thinking.

Uh, because you had recently been been fired from Dime Peep.

Well, yes, eyes. My act just wasn't pulling dimes. And I went to Nickel Peep, and I was getting no Nichols and then penny peep. Finally, I was, like, three cents a night like penny. People actually worked.

Okay, that's for three dances, or, like, 6/2 dances or what's the Yeah, I do have dances. Um, they were like, there's nothing

smaller than a than a penny.

How are you

looking at their website? And I am not seeing your name on there.

No, don't tell me. You're gonna have to go down to Barter Peep. Am I gonna have to trade a slices of American cheese? Yeah, I think that's worth more than a penny. Probably. I wish I could get American Cheese Peep. So what is this? This is gonna be like yard sale, peep goods and services yard

sale, and then I'm doing a peep off to the side.

You're in the garage. You're in

there. I will say my the box I made for my peep show. I made it to small eso. I'm hunched over in there. Yeah, Some people leave and say it looks a little little bit like a gollum type routine. Yes. Well, that's mostly

of how long and stringy my hair is

because? Well, yes. Why let it grow long?

I've seen you people and you bump your head. Uh, pretty regular, like a lot of the people is like, Oh, and then, like, kind of rubbing your head really hard with your hand. Yeah,

I

rarely get to the actual peep because I'm so banged up.

Now the yard sale Peep. You've been to yard sales. You could always see the two or three guys that you know why they're there. They're not really browsing for anything.

Absolutely low hat basketball shorts. Yeah,

going to a beef in basketball

shorts. Well, you know what? They're there to do these air. Not the most savory of characters. We're having some trials and tribulations, and I feel like I've noticed it has slowed down here a little bit over the last

couple weeks. Yeah,

yes, spring break feels like kind of ended after about a week

deal. It's what it's spring break. Only seven days.

Yeah, it feels like the clientele at all these places has kind of shifted into, like, sort of middle aged man who seemed to be, you know, running away from their lives in in America now,

right? It's kind of like, you know, those

people who go to college for too long and they stay in the town. It's basically that, but with spring breakers, it's just just a lot of people hanging on to those you know there's highs from from the last two weeks. Yeah, not

here. Any more Stories from a 55 year old who did an ice luge with Marilyn Monroe.

So you don't want to hear

your career their own. I got an official was here When Maryland is not Dad, he's in Mexico. Yeah,

she's in Mexico. Everybody loves to tell

everybody you think is dead is not especially if they're involved in a government conspiracy JFK center down here to get her out of the house.

So much effect is on death.

Thanks. Years here for sure.

Absolutely. He's here. Ah, Wilkes Booth is here.

I mean, Harvey out. No. Both of a murder.

Yeah. Of all the people who have assassinated people are here to

honestly, I'll tell you what. Cancun, Mexico is starting to look pretty much like white middle aged criminals. Yeah, barely dodged. Harvey

Oswald shot at me the other day on the beach. I barely

died. No, he's Yeah, he's crazy, man. He's always if you listen, if you get near where they

store books, you need to get in and get out.

He haven't built up. He's been protesting to get a book depository by the beach were like, We all know what you want to dio its leader, Lee Harvey. What do you guys call him?

I calmly, I was like, any other day in column. Ozzy, if you know if you've been shot

at you, call him on

starting his last name.

John Wilkes Booth keeps trying to get tickets to my place. And I'm like, ma'am,

fat chance e. I let you and I can't believe they haven't come up with a second idea. Things guys gonna do? Bookstore again? Worked, I guess. Huh? Well, don't you know? We all know we all tell the story for theatre. We know John. We know it now. Taught you have, actually. So you've been doing your play ugly old man,

which was a documentary that came about because you were a test subject for punked. And it turned out you were ugly and old and sad, so they they were documenting you, And that eventually turned into saddled pervert. Is

that creative differences on the name? But

then you pulled yourself

out and you've decided to do a reality show live on stage. And

you got a great deal in, um, because MTV, of

course, left town and left all their trash here and all their state close air still up, and they're renting them for for ah, for next to nothing. And yours, er cheap. You've secured a run at the beach stage, which is uncovered hot. There's very little back stays area.

No, there's no backstage. It's see through all their costumes that they left behind are pretty laughable. It's like a big rainbow. Wigs and ponchos and stuff, right? Unfortunately, there a couple of our actors that have rolled ankles on the indentations from Carmen Electra's heels when she did fashionably loud. A. So it's been a bit of a health disaster. Yeah, really a couple heat strokes in our previews, a couple strokes in our previous, um

what are yours? The strokes were years.

That's right, people. For a while, we're like a lot of whispers of, like this sexually good acting all of a sudden, and it turned out I was having a stroke.

What? Hey, a compliments, A compliment time. All right.

Exactly right.

The Cancun ah newspaper was there for for the preview, and

Ruth is Ruth eq and coconut Coconut was there. The critic for the Cancun. Coconut is notoriously harsh. Savage So obviously. Well, those lives is the critics. What's his name again?

It's not worth it.

OK? Eso obviously, if you can't see the live stream

here, but Todd's knows is is blown

off. How should we say this? Because it isn't on. Yeah, what would you call it? Had a bit of

a mouth. Um, I had a bit about putting play

together, and I had a little run in with the critic. Haven't been sleeping super well, um, and used a real gun and have to turn to the audience at the end and tried to shoot myself in the head. Missed. Um, of

course. Thank racing. Of course. Thank God.

Well, I'm not much of a marksman, as you could tell, if you ever look at my police academy files, um, or conditions for the movie,

you're somehow the targets shot you.

I have the first person to ever try to go through a police academy training and be shot on. Arrested by the target.

All those dummies that pop out arrested you and and the charges stuck.

The charges stuck. I got 25 to life

and all Those guys are cops, so they don't tell you they are officially deputized.

Wait, You gotta said just to 25 years to life, Todd.

That's right. And a

group of grey dummies. Reeb, Grey, Plastic Police, DeMille's.

The whole trial was a sham. Well,

yeah, That judge. I know you weren't too happy with that judge. It was one of those, um, punching bags That's in the shape of a plastic guy. Yeah.

Yeah, The judge was a pop up, pop down punching bag, and

I tried to give him a piece of my mind, but I just couldn't get him. You know what I mean? He was bobbing and weaving,

all right? And it's like every time you punched him, nothing, he'd go down, he pops right back up. He

got back on the face a couple times on my ass. Arrested May for that

by the job,

Russian in court. And I'm on a separate trial for that. Good. But

you were the first guy to ever get released for sad behavior. Yeah,

Yeah, they let me go on sad behavior. I was walking around the prison trying to join a gang and have me

and you were doing so poorly that they brought a nun to see if you were okay. Maybe read you your last rites. They weren't sure if you were going to make it. And then she ended up beating the shit out of you like one of those little toys.

None came in pledging to. The nun came in and really pounded May with an inch of my life. And they gave her the chair.

The king's chair. Right. And then she hit you with it.

She hit me with it, and J R J R and the king were there.

The whole thing right now is here. Exploded. She's now in the W W yeah.

This this this this match was recorded and broadcast for WrestleMania.

Yeah, it was WrestleMania. And it was huge. And how that now than

none is doing a tag team. The nun in the Rock are taking on Steve Austin and badass Billy Gunn. Special guests. Just free Val Venous.

Very weird story line

for hours. The This is arrested, and now he's Venus the Penis, right? Yeah. Does he get his Penis chopped off as the ref Google?

Let's just say they really like that story line of him getting a few stuff ups use it.

Thanks. You say that you can't keep going back to that. Well, w w like. Well, now you gotta chose the guy. You do it too? Yes. You can keep going back to a Penis list, man to chop his Penis up. No, but we do on everyone

to google. Val Venus gets his Penis chopped off and hit us up with what you think about the clip.

But yeah, I was for I'm out of prison. I got on said said behavior. And, um, now I'm just working on these plays and, you know, I blew my nose off, obviously. And I'm just waiting to see what the reviews come in for. That one. Roger, Roberto was at that

performance. That's awesome. That's really awesome.

Said it's Roger. Roberto, it's not Revert. You first, Berto, I

thought this sounds like a pretty interesting sort of little excursion. As you know, I'm running a tour site down here in Cancun, and this might be the perfect lump in. You know how every jeweler silent. I take you three places. You don't want to go. This might be the perfect third place for my crappy tour that I'm stealing everybody's money from This could be a great stop.

Yeah, I would. I mean, I would love if you brought your tour by. Would you stay for the whole play? Do you

think they also give you

okay? I doubt it would probably pop in. Say hi. Take a poll, see if people want to stay, or if they want to go, we would need you to change everything to luau theme.

You see, I am not committed to my artistic choices of me. That in the

same way What? Todd, you know how like when you

pull through? Ah, let's say like a tram stop at Universal. We want to wrap the story line up in about a minute. You know, we need a hyper quick kind of like Jaws pops up and then we pull off. You know, I don't know if you could, right. You could do the arc of your play in about a minute.

Yeah, absolutely. Aiken dio Aiken, most of my stuff is basically summed up in a sentence on then it's just drawing out so I could do that for sure. Um did yeah, Maybe I'll just shoot somebody. Somebody on the tourism like

that. Not my tour, not my to her body.

Well, now, um, your tours. The state has said, You know, this tour is unsanctioned by Mexico. It is now an official peligroso tour. Um, dangerous at your own risk. That's a belly gross. That means yes. Did you don't know that?

No. I thought I was trying to tell people that. That's what Mexican Pellegrino is that at the end of the tour, you get a bottle of sparkling water. You actually

have what can only be described as the biggest sodastream I've ever seen in my life.

That's right. That's right. Well, exit. I'm glad you call it a sodastream. I'm glad it looks like one. Because it is It is a sodastream. It's not me with a long straw blowing into water. It's now

and I tell you, peligroso might not be the translation, but there's no word for what I've had that water. There's no better word for it. Then grow. So

that's right, people. Hey, this fits This totally fits. Hey, it's hot. It was bubbly at one point. This works for me. This'll while

afraid you're overextending yourself cause you're running the tour. You're running back and forth to the Sodastream and blowing bubbles into it. You could tell your winded and short of breath you're peak as faras sun bathing goes.

That told me, because I drive the bus from the top from the top. It's one of those uncovered. I don't even tell you guys this. I put another layer. I put a second layer on the There's there's it's a seven layer boat, Correct. That's right. That's right. Well, you know when in room, you know what I mean, right? Yeah, I love the top layer. It's kind of like sun and fun. There's a layer underneath that. It's kind of like a dance floor. Then there's, like more of a chill layer. Then, unfortunately, under that

is just re fried beans. That's

right. Well, that's actually the cantina. It is just a layer of re fried beans, but we call the cantina, Um, and you can eat whatever you want. You can. You can bend down, take your finger. It's whatever you want. There's there's one thing on the menu. Yeah, and whatever you want. Todo

you can. That's the interesting thing about the survey for getting on the tour is you have to act. You have to say, What? What do you want to eat on the tour? And you only allow people to get on the tour if what they want to eat a 35 beans,

right? Because I'm honest. I'm nothing if not honest. Well, for most of it, here's here's what I will say. Me and Sam have been

working together. It's really symbiotic our relationship because, of course Ah, my alter ego, von Dutch has really caught fire. Everybody's wearing these hats. Von Dutch is, of course, people who live on the lifestyle of going Dutch splitting checks being cheap, It group dinners Ah Venmo requesting immediately, um,

stuff like that. So ta ah, Sam has

been nice enough to, ah to give us half off the peligroso tour, so

I'm funneling in some of the greatest

patrons of all time

I get. Here's my deal. I give each person half off of a double date. That makes sense. So four people, yes, and they each have to pay their own full price. So it's as if you were taken someone on a double date But instead of paying for both of you, you just pay for yourself and everyone has to do it. So it's Ah, it's a tricky way to get full freight.

Now, Sam, can I be honest? I'm afraid that your complete lack of any grasp on mathematics is going to cause trouble for you in the future. And today, what do you talk? So I don't really understand money. A bean guy.

He has a bean guy

that, you know, It doesn't seem like you understand the the sort of basics of business, Uh,

sort of how to make things part of the story. I've told. Don't, because you've heard the star part of the story. Only lives. Having heard about be your only listening

to what he has said. Howard, why don't you assume he's a good guy?

Listen, I'm not sure that you're thinking I'm attacking you here. I'm just trying to help out, you know, I mean, like, as a person who's recently had a pretty decent amount of success, I feel like I could help you in growing your business and making sure that you don't, I don't know, screw yourself over for the future because You know, I want all four of us to have futures.

You know would really help me. Howard, since you're such a man of the people, I would love

to find a good creme a guy. Because my last creme, a guy turns out, didn't have any cream, All he had was white water. And I'll tell you what, it was not that tasty.

Why don't water?

Did you check on his product before you hired him? Is all of say

it was white and it was on chips.

Was it a pray and pay upfront model or

had to do both? You had to do both. He was a very religious man. And he said, Close your eyes and pray and I will bring out the Rio Crema. And I closed my eyes. He said, Really? Yeah. He said Riel and I closed my eyes. I put the money on the dashboard. He came to my car, and then that was it. You also were. You

also got kind of hosed when you were trying to buy, uh, the scallion greens.

Yes, I did. I did. I did get hosed on that quite literally. It waas chopped up pieces of a green hose. And he told me, No, those air Charo, those air chives and I say, didn't assure in robbery. Well, then, of course, your robbery, he said. They've been sitting out in the sun all day. Once you take him into the shade, they took their rank, and I should

feel like you are too trusting. Sam. I just feel like you constantly get taken advantage of. And it makes me so sad to see because you're a good guy. But

it was anything I should dio is. Do we

want to give and get into the shredded cheese?

I know God do it. I That's embarrassing. If you want to talk about the Straight and Cheese Week,

shredded cheese is my riel embarrassment. That's your one flaw that you have admitted. It's my riel embarrassment. The shredded cheese. Unfortunately, you

paid top dollar for real cheese, and you filled a hole layer with actual cheese. Yeah, I got screwed

and free, right?

I got screwed and played paid full freight for French cheese,

so there's a layer that is French shredded debris, which is a soft cheese.

It's impossible. Dickey is impossible. It's a group floor now it's

just goop. Your nachos are trips.

I kissed chips any. Well, they've obviously they won't serve us chips here. I don't know, because you do. You guys notice that too, right? When you walk in somewhere, people grab a couple of bags and scurry to the back. Yeah. Yeah, it's It's It's almost mandatory.

Yeah, I've seen people grab, grab a basket, Couldn't see what was in a grab a basket and then get under their table. Any what? Whatever was in the basket, so I couldn't see it. They're hiding the change from this guy's.

Well, can I talk to you guys real quick about something nice? I had a restaurant recently.

Yes. Yeah, he's

as you can see. I'm in a neck brace. Um,

your nose is bone off and you're in a neck brace

Just one of those weeks. I

hear you. Yeah, this LST frequently.

I was in a restaurant and someone walked by with a skillet. That and I heard a little pop. A little sizzle

like what is that? What is that?

So obviously I whiplashed myself looking to see what it waas.

If you're a sizzle, you gotta turn

and it was a skillet with a little mix up of onions.

Peppers, huh? Beef. And it was popping and sizzling right on the side. There were some pretty is that you could put

it in.

So they didn't They didn't finish cooking it and then bring it out once. It'd cool.

No, they brought it. It was as if they were still cooking it and needed everyone to see it being one of them, as I

could develop an obsession for

that. Yeah. Wait. So you're telling me it comes out and you can You can hear the sizzle, but you can't see it. Oh,

my good man. The sizzle is visual as well as, Ah, Orel.

What? They pour a little couple water on there, so it seems like crazy. I couldn't tell you just how could this work?

I mean, they come out with its on a tram, assuming, and obviously on a plate, because you're, you know, is the plate hot?

Played it scalding. But also on top of the plate is the skillet. You know, they set it down and then make sure you don't touch it.

The part title skillet. I only got a certain amount of skill. It's back there. Hold on. What do you

feel about the person who it's delivered to? What do you feel?

Let's just say there was a couple proposals going on that night.

People were running over and getting down on one need to.

I was so jealous.

Well, we all know jealousy and love is an identical emotion,

Absolutely going. You're only jealous of things you love.

And now I guess so. Young's awesome so far, But I will say it sounds a little frustrating. Like what if I don't know. You say it comes out piecemeal. What if you, for example, eat all your tortillas and then what do you just hold it with your hand? Yeah. Harrack, how do you if it's not pre

made, how do you control just eating all the bread first and ruining it? You make

it yourself at the typical, and I'll tell you this only a dollar

more for more tortillas way sometimes ever had this, but I could love this. I don't know what

I kept asking, and they're like, uh, feed us and I was like, No, I don't want to eat you. I want to eat that feta. I don't know.

They were asking you if you want you to eat us.

I was like, What is that called? They said for eat us. And I was like, Oh, for Peter's feeders. It's 41 later, baby.

It's for eaters. What? Todd, you've been You've been ah, since seeing this, um, kind of following suit and trying

to bring things out of the kitchen before they're done.

Yeah. Yeah, it's been a little tough. Um, yeah. I mean, you guys had my pancakes the other day

way. Drink it. We drink.

We got severely burned by that big griddle, and we ate, bubbled up on one side, burnt on the other. It was weird that they were bush freezing cold and piping hot at the same time.

Yeah, that's almost an accomplishment. Would you think of the scallops?

Well, I was in the

bathroom for a while. Luckily, I lucky I did a step as said it stank. Ease.

Yeah, I'm not sure you've kind of figured out the raw seafood thing yet. Well,

no scallops is perfect, cause it's either it comes out on the thing fully cooked or you got sushi. Who knows?

It's not a Who knows it's

a decision. Well, the don't come to my restaurant sushi. Who knows?

You wish you're still in the investment plan with that, right?

Trying to get investors. You trying to get a meeting with Vincent A fox?

Yeah. Drug a meeting with the president right now. Um, get investors. I got, like, 10 but it turned out there. Investigators, uh,

department with those. You got to

be careful with an investigator, OK? Because

they're easy. They're cold blooded. They can run faster than you think. Well, they seem coup through with their little hat on with the card in it. But out of nowhere, that big mouth

opens up and you lose a foot.

Absolutely. I trusted it ahead of Well, he had a little bird sitting

on his head, and I

was like, Oh, he's chilled with this little bird Is from true is fine with me. Sometimes

if you're trying to drink out of ah, the edge of a pond, there's an investigator right there underneath the surface. Just created a champion

and they'll catch you. They'll take you right to the slammer.

Yeah, One of them I saw I saw it happening to me one of them. I grabbed it and it was just started rolling, and it rolled me all the way to the slammer. No, the big jail

man. I think it might not be a good thing for Utah is

Speaking of the slammer, Howard, you are either flying higher than you've ever flu or about to crash. And you choose your doctor about your goals. Your people piss prospecting. Yeah, uh, catch the new listeners, which I'm sure we have a ton off just this week.

So Ah, last week I discussed the ah, the sort of piss prospecting I was doing, which, of course, was creating jewelry out of the solids in my urine that I saw used khakis as a sieve. Teoh Catch all organically, folks. Because I think of this Pete and I was wetting the chantry written. I was wetting my pants and there was solids on the inside of my khakis on. I realized it was a valuable material that I could make jewelry out of Ah, and of course, Ah, I became the California of the piste rush. Ah, and people came after it came after me. They

wanted showing up left and right.

I wanted access to my pissed on finding old. What's that?

Were you finding gold?

I was finding golden minerals. Uh, it's of course and more and not necessarily spew. It's not fools. P. It's Goldsby. It's not full speed.

Before, a lot of people were saying It's fluff off off a fool's p. Okay, well, if it's not fools, P why did it taste so much like regular P that I find the podium

right? Why im

you should be buying the potty

podium. Well, as you guys know, I was doing very, very well this week. I made record profits, of course. Two weeks. You know, it's it's easy to break the record. Ah, there's not a lot of data, but I had a great week, sold a lot of jewelry. But then, of course Ah, a expose. Ah came out Ah on American television on episode of Dateline Ah came out specifically about me and about ah Mei What they're calling a jewelry cartel APIs jewelry cartel. Yeah, and and I if I'm being honest, I think that there's some ah, some people in power who don't want to see me succeed. The

So you are you're sending your jewelry to America and it's so potent. People are dying. Is that true? There They're getting married and they're putting the ring on in their croak ing. Is that true? That, of

course. Yes. Well, because Teoh to turn these golden minerals into viable jewelry. Of course. There. I have to put additives in there. Ah, and you know I don't I'm not a research cut. It

has to be cooked and heroin That

has to be cooked. Yes, he cooked

his black tar heroin.

Well, that seems to keep it together. Keep it? Yes. The only material that seems to sort of make it stable is black tar heroin. We'll fill you Found something? Yeah. So people are saying this jewelry that's being sold in the United States is not jewelry. It is heroin. It is. It is. It is holding drugs. It is. It is ah, sort of way to traffic drugs. And I'm telling them, Listen, the drugs aren't what I'm after. I don't want any part of this drug business that

drive by

necessity for me to sell my art. Ok,

you are now working with public Pyszka Barra.

Well, I had to strike a deal with Pisco Bar. Ah, because I, of course, and creating my product in his territory. Eso I went for a meeting at Pisco Bars compound. I will tell you this It was terrifying. Ah, I left soaking wet. Ah, and and I I'm not gonna cross the guy. Okay?

What? Doesn't this causing big waves? Because I heard that Aleppo is after you too. Well, crap. Now who? Crapo out? Crapo El Crapo obviously the opposite of Pablo Pyszka bars. Well, and here's the

thing. The Crapo Crapo. He deals mostly in ah, in cocaine. Ah, Pyszka bars dealing with course. Mewling is his favorite. You loves to mule Crapo is he's the king of the mules. Eso

el Crapo doesn't sell anything to do with poop.

Well, he traffics cocaine. Okay,

well, I'm not sure, but it's mostly get the poop across the border. While he

says it's because he likes, he wants to get its fertilizer. He's in the

fertile activist in bricks of cocaine and ships them across the border. Yes. Is that good Mexican poop?

Well, the cultures that are created in a sustained raw Yeah, it's that wrong. That's what we mean

it's there all that really right Been stepped on or nothing buts. This episode started in the toilet, and we're wrapping it right back up in the toilet. It's

not our fault in the toilet. It's reality right now. Uh,

Howard, could you put in a good word with me

for El Crapo? Because he is sending his lawyers after me because

newspapers keep reviewing my plays using his name. Uh, El Crapo.

Mistaken money. What? I don't think that's in reference to him. I think they're They're just It's a fun play on words. I don't think they're connected.

I think it is a play on words, but now he wants to sue me. I didn't choose for people to call my place El Crapo, so But I told him obviously I don't like people accusing me of things. I told him to come at me. I give him your address.

No way. Hang on. Why?

That's bad news. Well, I'm in and

out of your place, you know? So if he comes at me, I don't know where I live. But, you know, I could come Popeye and kick his ass and leave.

Yeah, well, you, Todd, you don't ever come to my house. Don't Don't lie. Even

talking. About what? About your birthday.

Yeah. What about my birthday? Where

were Oh, yeah. You missed that. Yeah, We had to bear. So did I. To be fair,

all three of you did.

And to be fair, so did you. Well, I was with you, Weren't with us. You were at your birthday party way sometime at six Flags. We celebrated today. Do you want to go eat dipping dots with us at Six Flags? We ain't gonna write

any of the rides. And you're like, I got my birthday party and we were like,

OK, Mother Fokker. So a those depend on, you know where did delicious

We wrote Happy Birthday on the table at Macaroni Grill afterwards. What more do you want? Your

favorite restaurant way pulled up the tablecloth and scratched. Happy birthday into the table for you. Unfortunately, Bill scratched in Happy birthday, Harry. Yeah, and I said, Oh, dull gone it after.

Well, listen. Listen. If you need foot soldiers Howard, I am your man, okay? Because I was We will split up. Let's see the ah duties on. We will provide whatever you need to get Mawr trying

to go Dutch on, uh, being a foot soldier.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to do the whole

thing. I appreciate the offer, you guys, but I've already got a security plan in place. As you guys know, I have ah, relationship with Steve Wilco's Jerry Springer's Ah, search security guard, and he's agreed to take a cut of my profits to run security for me. He said

I was called him a circus

leader. Well, I mean, for that show, he is more of a circus leader. Uh, what? I'm here. Don't

be loud. He's shaving his head right now thinking about you. Well, you got a quick

call and spring or a circus. He's gonna come at you.

You know I would. Honestly, I again it's my dream to meet the guy. So if what it takes for me to meet him is me calling it his show a circus, I'll say it allows. Shouted from the hilltops. Springer's shows a circus. Come meet me, Jerry. Oh, uh,

do I'm gonna try to kidnap him for you again?

No, I think I'm good. I want toe God. Are you going to try to kidnap drinks. Bring her again. No need. I think it feels like you're going to

know the

last time you kidnapped a young Asian gentleman.

This time I'll have my contacts on.

Thank you. Great.

You Do you go out without your contacts on using contacts, contacts, Harley. I forgot type of thing. And when you say contacts

on it doesn't make you have a card in

Well, who? Hell, no, that Todd can afford. Glasses, frames. So he just has lenses and he calls them contacts. You just want what you have seen my car.

My on trial for this. Those air My big contacts

tied their lenses that you hold in front of your face with your fingers.

By the way, I could afford whatever I wanted. I couldn't afford frames if I needed him. But

you're always trying to play it off too badly. Over. You're always just saying to the room, man. Hard lenses. It's like we're back in the eighties. Can you believe it? We're not yet okay That you tried

contacts and you couldn't get him in because you blink too much and you go,

I'll fuck like it. So it's not that hard. We heard it 100 times. You just get thinking, trying.

I'm scared of my little fingers.

To be fair, your fingers are quite pointy.

E. I would be there that were

pretty needle like I honestly would be afraid for you think you put it.

You know, like when a baby grows their fingernails out and it's like

babies grow their hair nails out all the time. These babies love a long fingers.

Every time I go into the nail salon,

there's babies in there getting jail caps. I'm like

Jesus babies. What the really out doing it? Let's work on walking first. Maybe get a little foot massage and they can't even walk.

I had to wait three hours in the day because the baby was getting was getting caps and a blowout.

Really on How much? Hair wisps? That's unbelievable.

Well, guys, I feel like it's probably about time for us to wrap it up for the week. Um, yeah, it's It's tough, you know. It's tough down here in the sun and in the in the wind and the salt water kind of drives.

You think this is bronze, right? This is not This is bronze.

I'll say this, Sam to me. I squint and I see you look like a stop sign. Uh, it's

away. There are a

bunch of cars lined up out,

so Okay, I'll take it. Oh, yeah. Roll through, fellas. Roll through. Well, hold on, hold on. Let me do a little show for him. Let me do a little show up. Any flip it, flip a penny Team flippy off, he lippy on my face. Ah, Flippy I like that flippy penny Billy me, Benny They flipping a penny state Stay

flipping the penny Guys, stay

for state Has been the Ben

Hey, Wednesday flipping the penny. Everybody, depending

the school stood. Discuss. Tag. Put your clothes on.