Seekers' Lounge
the unofficial Teachers' Lounge search engine

NEW FEATURE: Audio playback (beta)

  1. Go to biggrandewebsite.com
  2. Click on Account
  3. Podcasts -> Teachers Lounge Archive
  4. Copy the link at the bottom
  5. Paste it in the box at the bottom of your screen.

The link is only stored in your browser and is never sent to any servers.

Seekers' Lounge is an unofficial fan website where you can search through the transcripts of all episodes to find your favorite bit.

Listen to the free episodes wherever you get your podcast or buy them from biggrandewebsite.com

Transcripts are unedited. Speakers not identified. Intro has been removed so add ~30 seconds for accurate timestamp.

Seekers' Lounge is free with no ads. If you find it useful you can buy me a cup of courthouse coffee

Want to help out? Click

Use your browser's "Find in Page" function to search here (CTRL+F or CMD+F).

s09e35
Itchy Bones

The Teachers are packing up and preparing to leave Cancun, having just been offered jobs at Hamilton High. But Bill's getting offers from the NCAA, Todd wants to go to Hollywood to pitch his film "Fun On A Plane,"and hopefully El Crapo or Pablo Pisscobar don't show up to derail their plans...

0:00:00
spk_0
 

show every extra boxes.

0:00:04
spk_2
 

I have some small ones. I don't have small. I don't have any big ones. Ah, I got ah, a couple of shoe boxes, and then I got that. The box that my watch came in. Oh, that's good. Yeah. So you can use as

0:00:19
spk_3
 

you're talking exclusively and those or you're saying that's just what you have left.

0:00:23
spk_2
 

Ah, that's what I have left. But those air also what I've been packing in. I had I had some leftover shoe boxes. And

0:00:29
spk_4
 

how did you split up

0:00:30
spk_2
 

your bed into those? Ah, it's in that frame. It might Well ah, I had to make it. I had to take it down to smaller pieces than I had hoped for, But

0:00:42
spk_1
 

I thought I heard last night with a hatchet in

0:00:44
spk_2
 

there. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I wish I'd had a more precise tool because, honestly, yeah,

0:00:49
spk_4
 

it's gonna be tough

0:00:50
spk_1
 

to get together. Those splintered up pieces.

0:00:53
spk_2
 

Yeah, the hatchet didn't didn't exactly keep clean lines, but

0:00:58
spk_0
 

this is what, The fourth time you've cut up and superglued your bed back together. Yeah,

0:01:03
spk_4
 

and I thought it would

0:01:03
spk_2
 

be easier. I thought it's sort of like a perforated piece of paper where, like, the lines air there, you can kind of just break it on the brakes. Turns out the glue I used was way too strong. So I got Now I got I got Honestly, it's gonna be a beautiful piece of art when I get it back to the States. Ah, but yeah, it's it's broken up into, uh, to 121 shoe boxes. It's

0:01:27
spk_0
 

really all together, Todd. Was it That was your glue, right?

0:01:30
spk_1
 

That you were testing out for stores. You were unhappy with gorilla glue?

0:01:36
spk_3
 

Yeah. Yeah. So this is Ah, Super guerrilla group grew great. It's not even glue. It was always meant to be called that it wasn't an issue with my enunciation when I talked to the printers,

0:01:50
spk_0
 

that super thriller between glue and group

0:01:55
spk_3
 

ah grew stronger. Obviously, uh, our is further in the alphabet, and l So you know that you're you know, it's worked a little harder. Um, and also we're still in the testing phase is But the hope is not only can you stick things, but you can help. Things grew eso grow in the past. Uh, yeah, I'm testing phases on this. This

0:02:19
spk_0
 

one. We're also saying that unlike other paste, you can eat this. This is

0:02:23
spk_3
 

edible. Um, human

0:02:26
spk_0
 

cells. So is your problem

0:02:27
spk_1
 

with glue right, that you could need it?

0:02:30
spk_3
 

Yeah. Um, they My issue with glue was I mean, we all know is since childhood, the whole thing with glue is it's is delicious looking as any meal you've ever had. And, uh, they kept saying, Can't eat this. You can eat this, Necip all bring something that can I'm currently f d a, um, were under review ALS Revue All

0:02:53
spk_0
 

revue all revue. LNA. Now, how is this different from review?

0:02:59
spk_3
 

It's not a misprint. It's not like that. It is what it is. It's a review, and it's a renewal. So the idea is, we

0:03:07
spk_4
 

were showing us

0:03:08
spk_0
 

a lot of official documents with a lot of misspelling. So I'm wondering how official there

0:03:13
spk_3
 

very official. Don't let the look of my briefcase before I opened it for you. I know the documents were kind of peeking out the sides

0:03:23
spk_0
 

just against the briefcase. That was your whole look. You're wearing sandals.

0:03:26
spk_3
 

You're itching your feet a lot. Oh, you know is

0:03:30
spk_5
 

this happening to us? What? Have the itchy feet

0:03:37
spk_4
 

way? No. Your app.

0:03:41
spk_0
 

You have athletes, foot and your athletes. Food.

0:03:46
spk_1
 

Well, athlete's feet. Now you have another. You have another athlete that's joined, and it's your right foot. Um, and it's is equally as as, um, competitive is the other one. But

0:03:59
spk_0
 

burn Morse athletes. I mean, you're at your feet are at each other's throat with who can

0:04:05
spk_1
 

be the itchy is because they're they're competitive. Their athletes.

0:04:08
spk_3
 

Yeah. I mean, we're talking, uh, this one of the most classic rivalries of all time left versus right, right? I mean, it's it's a magic and bird. It's Ah, Sampras and ah, um, graph on and then left and right,

0:04:27
spk_2
 

Right? Yeah. Pete. Pete Sampras. Steffi Graf. Obviously very big rivals. Currently.

0:04:33
spk_3
 

Yeah. Uh, so, yeah, but I don't know the athletes. Foot used to hurt in one way, but this is a different entrance. A lot. It's almost deeper in the bone. It's a bone itch. I think so. Ouch.

0:04:46
spk_2
 

That should that should scare you. Todd, I feel like, uh, that should that's may be a sign of some sort of internal infection. Maybe.

0:04:55
spk_0
 

Bones, I've never even heard the side effect our commercial. Do you have itchy bones? Feel like your bones? It's like that's a new ailment that almost seems patient. Zero e

0:05:11
spk_3
 

story of my life. I mean, there's never that's the thing is you look up symptoms that I have, and there's never an ad for him they don't tell you much about. It's constantly like every time I see a doctor, they end up looking in the microscope in doing a huge double take and then running out of the room and pulling a bunch of nurses in

0:05:35
spk_0
 

what the nooses

0:05:35
spk_2
 

dio laugh. Oh, man, that's sad. I'm

0:05:41
spk_3
 

sure you guys have adichie bone, everyone, some on your foot. You know, you know when you're trying to go to sleep and you're drenched in your own sweat. So it's pretty difficult, Um, and with freezing and hot at the same time, freezing and hot at the same time. Seeing visions, um, and your bones just kind of like I don't know what

0:06:01
spk_5
 

a bug. It's like a bug.

0:06:03
spk_4
 

I loud

0:06:04
spk_1
 

long runs in my family. Um, so I can sort of relate. Um, it's kind of a step up from wheezing. Um It's kind of when you're your long ah, the entrance to it. Ah, almost becomes, like,

0:06:23
spk_0
 

kind of Let let's let's think

0:06:25
spk_1
 

of like, a the end of a flute. Um s o

0:06:31
spk_2
 

the entrance to your lung becomes, ah, thing that when you breathe it, it's, like, sort of Ah,

0:06:37
spk_0
 

yeah, Well, the entrance sounds like a flu, but the exit sounds like a lawnmower. I don't know if you guys can hear this, but I think the garbage truck

0:06:47
spk_1
 

is mistaking my bags that I left on the side of the road as

0:06:52
spk_0
 

trash cans. No, and they are.

0:06:55
spk_4
 

Hey, no, go. No, That's Mars. That's my stuff. My stuff out there to put my stuff, your stuff s spine and Sam's those those air, not trash. Can

0:07:07
spk_3
 

I get my gun? I'll get my gun. Don't

0:07:10
spk_0
 

these notes, okay. No, no, no, no. Most low Getting his riverbank gun that he got from the fair.

0:07:17
spk_4
 

Oh, my, I

0:07:21
spk_2
 

Well, these guys, I feel like we got a lot to get. Intuit's gonna, uh, we obviously leaving, but we should probably actually start the episode. Uh,

0:07:29
spk_0
 

is it? Yeah. We

0:07:30
spk_1
 

hang on the string on. Hold on. Let me get my my voice ready. Hey, um,

0:07:40
spk_2
 

I just I'm sorry, guys. I'm new to this whole recording thing, I think. And I wanted to be sure. Uh, I think I've actually already been recording all that. What do we say?

0:07:51
spk_3
 

You should be recording all that every

0:07:53
spk_2
 

Friday night. No. You know, I was recording everything that we just for say, I've been recording this whole time. I had already

0:08:01
spk_1
 

started recorded. Did you record all that?

0:08:04
spk_5
 

If you didn't record all that

0:08:05
spk_3
 

and you've been recording this whole time, that's two mistakes.

0:08:09
spk_0
 

I'll say to show you how we don't get it. I like horse.

0:08:13
spk_2
 

I have course taped all that, but I've been record. I recorded all that because that's vital information, I hope. You know, with lawyer Beth Ember,

0:08:22
spk_3
 

we've only got maybe two years left of Keenan. And then one problem ever seem again. I know. And

0:08:27
spk_2
 

he's a genius. So we record every episode of all that from snick. But I

0:08:34
spk_0
 

have something to talk to the kids about.

0:08:36
spk_2
 

Yeah, watch. So I've been recording this whole time is all. I'm trying to say

0:08:42
spk_0
 

that. Well, let me know where we can

0:08:44
spk_2
 

cut it out.

0:08:45
spk_0
 

Well, I'm just worried that you're going

0:08:46
spk_1
 

to catch me saying something that I wouldn't say on. I promise you with Sam.

0:08:51
spk_2
 

Look me in the eyes. I promise you guys, I will never do that again. We were swinging. Are you squinting Because, uh uh, my I don't know my eyes for

0:09:00
spk_0
 

is Sam Bright. I think it's because you said look in the eyes. And then when I do, you're squinting. The sun

0:09:07
spk_2
 

is shining off your rival.

0:09:08
spk_0
 

Sam, I don't know what to tell you. We've been talking about ailments, but you are bright. Yeah, and I don't know what that means. I mean, I know I'm sunburned. What do you mean? I'm bright. I don't think

0:09:18
spk_3
 

you can be surprised, Sam. I saw Teoh pale blondes holding you above them as they sat next to the pool.

0:09:25
spk_0
 

You got booked last week. Is ah, bounce in a short film, right? Well, yeah, I have been getting booked as a lot of things, actually. You know, as you know, the spring break has dried up a little bit and the tours have been struggling. But the few people that are still here at the resort need umbrellas. And Yeah, I got booked as a day as an umbrella. I was to rockin blondes just like Todd said. And, uh, rocket did not. Okay. Yeah, they were rocking. There were rocket those nail umbrella or a thing that bounces. Ah, son. Uh, well, that was the weekend. The weekend I was the umbrella. And then during the week, there's obviously not as many resort goers. So I did have to pick up some time as a bounce on a local film crew. I just want you to make sure you know

0:10:25
spk_1
 

all these jobs, because if you under report, we're gonna be in trouble again next year, we're going to be showing up to your hearing and having no do be

0:10:34
spk_3
 

another one of your tax Can't be your character witness at another tax hearing,

0:10:39
spk_0
 

Director witness. We go big, all right. And a

0:10:44
spk_4
 

lot of

0:10:44
spk_0
 

times there are writers in the audience. Well, I think you guys are just understand character witness. You're supposed to be speaking to my character, not playing gigantic characters. Well, I decided to play a U. P s guy who's weak in the knees, and it was

0:10:58
spk_4
 

immediately on mad TV the

0:11:00
spk_0
 

next week. Well, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people have met, uh, in that courtroom because it's such hot news. It's big entertainment. You know these entertainers, right? It's packed with the mad TV. The mad TV writers room Is

0:11:15
spk_1
 

the gallery at a courthouse. Just everybody. No,

0:11:17
spk_4
 

I don't know

0:11:18
spk_0
 

how this happened, but they were the jury. They were. My jury was a mad TV. And let's just say they did not have a sense of humor. No, they have a the executioner. I think they were the judge, the jury and the executioner. I got almost executed by Mad TV's writing staff. But I snuck out of there.

0:11:37
spk_3
 

Yeah, a guy named Ike Barinholtz pulled the lever on my on my death.

0:11:42
spk_0
 

Who I Barinholtz? Yeah, Todd's death I parent holds, pulled the lever on your electric chair.

0:11:50
spk_3
 

Yeah, he was the executioner. That mad TV writer

0:11:54
spk_0
 

way. Be careful about what we talking about. We're recording.

0:11:58
spk_2
 

We are recording. We've been recording this whole time. We should just get into the episode, guys. Oh, that Mrs way can't use their feet. So use it. You know we're leaving Cancun because We got jobs

0:12:15
spk_0
 

coming up this

0:12:16
spk_4
 

fall. I

0:12:17
spk_2
 

have really thought all week about what we want to do going forward cause we want to keep this podcast going, right. We're going to be working together. We're going to this high school called Hamilton High School. We're all going to be working together. We're gonna be doing this. This Ah, this recording thing Every

0:12:33
spk_0
 

we wrote that into our contracts

0:12:36
spk_1
 

at Hamilton. Yeah, um, they were nice enough. Thio Thio agree to allow us to do our Howard Stern radio play. Our podcasts

0:12:46
spk_3
 

were so far the only teachers with big riders in our contract

0:12:51
spk_0
 

way. Should you just how Ah Howard just covered

0:12:57
spk_1
 

it. Thank you for calling you. Well, See, I almost said Harry, but I caught it. Um, but we we did get jobs. Ah, at a at a small school, we called Hamilton High School. We're very excited. They they they took a trade for us. Is that is that correct, Todd? Because Todd was running kind of our Ah, our, um I'm a big air football are major league sports style trade.

0:13:29
spk_3
 

We were just near the trade deadline and I was getting desperate, so uh, I started making some phone calls, and it looks like where, um, it's being reported, not official, that we're going to Hamilton High School. We're taking our

0:13:44
spk_0
 

talents there. And what is the Cancun school

0:13:47
spk_1
 

district getting?

0:13:48
spk_3
 

Cancun School District is getting Hamilton's projector 33 of Hamilton's best projectors, but

0:13:57
spk_0
 

they're also sending cash. They're sending cash with us as part of the deal.

0:14:02
spk_3
 

Yeah, we're bringing cash. Money is part of the deal. And then ah, it's also big record that Cancun is also getting Bill Wennington.

0:14:12
spk_0
 

Okay. And this is a sports player.

0:14:16
spk_3
 

Build Warrington of the Chicago Bulls, recently retired Chicago Bull.

0:14:20
spk_5
 

Yeah, okay, is not teaching mustache? Oh,

0:14:26
spk_0
 

dead body getting, um, Michael Jordan's security guard with the blonde perm. It Where did he end that nobody could afford him. He actually nobody could afford him at all. Right, cause he's the one person whose beef Michael Jordan is the winningest man in all of history.

0:14:46
spk_3
 

He's going early retirement because they couldn't afford him. Uh, okay, which, honestly, it's good that guy needs needs a little break.

0:14:55
spk_2
 

He did? Yeah. All right, well, I'm gonna try an intro for for the new podcast.

0:15:00
spk_0
 

So you're gonna practice for

0:15:02
spk_2
 

Franks. And I don't think this is what I think I'm gonna nail it. Guys, I think this is gonna be the one. Yeah, All right. So also, I thought of a title. It's a work in progress, but you just let me know. Here we go. And 3 to 1. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tied. But you Excuse me? That was you. You were holding that in. You were holding it on waiting to sneeze people until I start with you. Are you were I could see you were holding your nose. You were making sure you didn't seem

0:15:34
spk_0
 

extra. Uh huh. He's got He's got a stake and went Baby needs pepper. OK, we all got steaks, and those babies need peppers. So you do the inch. We gotta eat the stakes real quick. One last good Kabo

0:15:48
spk_2
 

steak. All right, here we go. And, ladies and gentlemen, welcome tune. What's

0:15:54
spk_0
 

that? I said Kabo And it's a Cancun steak. I apologize.

0:15:59
spk_2
 

I don't were and I by that and you sneeze. Bill,

0:16:02
spk_4
 

can we

0:16:02
spk_2
 

please just give me two seconds?

0:16:04
spk_0
 

This is gonna be short. It's a sneeze. You can't know

0:16:08
spk_2
 

All right, Here we go. And, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first step to the tip. Hi there. Those were even sneezes. You guys were

0:16:21
spk_0
 

Just think it wasn't. No, no, no, no, no. To be honest, it was a sneeze because I knew there was a lot of pepper.

0:16:28
spk_2
 

I see what's going on here. You guys are trying to throw me off my game.

0:16:31
spk_0
 

No, is are not powerful. Some of them are very low

0:16:37
spk_1
 

energy and weak.

0:16:39
spk_2
 

Okay. You know, I'm not going to do an

0:16:40
spk_0
 

intricate all these healthy as you are.

0:16:43
spk_2
 

I'm not gonna do an intro. It xyz gonna be this whole thing about how we're going to Hamilton High School. And it's gonna be that I was gonna really talk up the show on the title that I thought, I can't even explain to you guys what was going on. You guys just don't want me to talk

0:16:58
spk_4
 

a

0:16:58
spk_0
 

little more pepper. You don't need more pepper to Jesus Christ. Statue. Now I'm catching his sneeze. Yeah. Is that we need to work.

0:17:12
spk_3
 

By the way. I am so far behind on Gazoontite. It's given because if you

0:17:22
spk_0
 

bless you, talk less you taught. All right. Well, how long units With an awesome intro.

0:17:29
spk_2
 

I mean, it's good. It's gonna be bad now because I've had to start and stop. I'm not gonna have the rhythm that I

0:17:34
spk_4
 

have. No

0:17:35
spk_0
 

way! We're just having natural sneezes.

0:17:38
spk_3
 

We'll give you a little intro. Ladies and gentlemen, with the intro to the teacher's lounge podcasts. However, we're gonna call it Howard Jeans on his pants. Glovis.

0:17:51
spk_2
 

That's not I guess we have to use that. We have to use that title now. And jeans on my pants.

0:17:56
spk_0
 

What he's got on his shirt and he's got jeans on his pants. What Santa? What is jeans? And here he comes hair on his head. Howard Levis just

0:18:08
spk_4
 

hit it hard. Don't apologize. Todd already thought of

0:18:11
spk_2
 

a better title than the one that that I thought of. So

0:18:13
spk_0
 

do what you want to do, Howard. What years wasn't the teacher's lounge?

0:18:18
spk_2
 

No, of course not.

0:18:21
spk_3
 

Go with whatever you want or replace with. I would kill for an intra like that. Most of my intros

0:18:26
spk_5
 

are All right. Let's get it over with its top up.

0:18:32
spk_2
 

All right, well, that's I It's gonna be ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Teacher's Lounge, the first, best and Onley podcast pertaining.

0:18:42
spk_4
 

Can we talk about your attitude? We gave you a try and I know just you and then you just keep oot of it. Well, it's not as fun as when I'm sorry that I'm sorry I put

0:18:55
spk_2
 

it, but it's not as fun. When I had the whole ramp up, I was getting into it. And then we spent a whole five minutes with dealing with you guys sneezing and then a intro from Todd. It's like

0:19:05
spk_4
 

I was really happy here. I

0:19:07
spk_0
 

were making some pretty

0:19:09
spk_1
 

big claims in this First Senate's the first. True that we don't know the pressure. Bet Well, that's a pretty big and

0:19:20
spk_0
 

Onley seems the same as similar to first. It's basically it's basically

0:19:29
spk_2
 

another way to say first, but But that could mean in the future if other podcasts come,

0:19:36
spk_0
 

why don't you come out and get in a legal battle here? Cause if we say first, best, it only that could be false

0:19:43
spk_1
 

advertising. And as we've all four of us have been, um yeah, whatever. Second worst in advertising.

0:19:50
spk_2
 

Well, you didn't let me finish because the last sentence makes it so It's It's so specific that it doesn't actually excited.

0:19:57
spk_0
 

Todd was actually indicted for false advertising

0:20:00
spk_1
 

for stuff in that banana in his pants. Right?

0:20:04
spk_3
 

That was a sham trial. It was a sham trial.

0:20:08
spk_0
 

Well, it was so unfortunate because it was such unlucky circumstances to make it go federal. Well, I do want it. Ah, what's her name? You know, my are probably you lover. Sotto maior she she weighed in quickly.

0:20:32
spk_2
 

She is, of course, a district judge. Now,

0:20:36
spk_5
 

hopefully future Supreme Court wear the teachers

0:20:42
spk_3
 

under so plugged into the judicial system here, we know all the judges

0:20:47
spk_0
 

way. Have Teoh, we're following the circuit courts. You've heard of circuit parties? We visit circuit courts. Similarly

0:21:00
spk_3
 

were we have been cutting. If you go into the subway on fifth in D. C, we've been cutting in front of Merrick Garland, a district judge there for about 20 weeks now he is not going to get his sandwich is way too polite about

0:21:14
spk_2
 

have timed it perfectly. We've finally perfect and we have conspired with 100 other people. Teoh constantly walk into the subway right before he's gonna order and do it for at least an hour every day. So he can't. He has to go back to work. And he

0:21:32
spk_0
 

goes back to work hungry every day. And I'll tell you what. Props to him for dedication. He won't try a second restaurant. He keeps going the same subway and keeps getting denied a lunch break every single day.

0:21:45
spk_2
 

It's the principle of it. I think he wants to stick it out. He's gonna He's going to stick it out longer than we will. And little does he know that is not true.

0:21:53
spk_0
 

And speaking of principles, I think we should commit. Now, knowing that we're going back to Hamilton, we're going to be nice to this one. We're going to be nice to this principle. We're not going to just start causing problems right away way

0:22:09
spk_4
 

have to set up a

0:22:10
spk_1
 

dominance. Yeah, wear the door.

0:22:14
spk_3
 

You know that. You know what we do? We walk in, we punch the biggest guy ago in the room. Uh, galley? Metaphorically, if it's if it's ago. Um,

0:22:24
spk_0
 

unfortunately, sometimes Cal

0:22:26
spk_1
 

is the biggest person in the room, and we got a sock.

0:22:30
spk_0
 

Okay, I understand what you're saying now, first. You had me a little worried.

0:22:33
spk_3
 

No. Yeah. It's not a real punch. It's a metaphorical one. Obviously. You know, we have the teachers large. Don't condone any violence, but you can hit a principal. Uh, you could punch your mail, principal. Uh, absolutely. As a rule,

0:22:47
spk_0
 

it's sort of a king of the hill thing. You can challenge their authority a little bit.

0:22:51
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah, I put I'm punching Mike judge all the time.

0:22:56
spk_2
 

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, we're gonna where we are going back, we will establish are dominant. But I do. I think we should go back. Relaxed. Were we've Cancun A Lots happened, obviously. But we should go that we should just really ease into it. Uh, and really get back toe. So what we love you know, Sam, Hopefully your light your, uh, you know will come through your help. I'm just hoping your credential comes through so that you can to have a teaching position and not be me a support staff

0:23:28
spk_0
 

with your credential. It's a great question. I've mailed a letter to them every day for a year, and I've heard nothing back, but I think it should be that when we're with dress. I was ending it. I've been mailing paper mail to one of these new websites.

0:23:48
spk_3
 

Okay, So your what? Your mailing vapor mail to a web address.

0:23:53
spk_2
 

Your writing? Www dot dot com.

0:23:56
spk_0
 

Yeah, I'm writing www dot credential dot com. Okay. And putting it in, um, the mailbox. Uh, I mean, I think this could be a problem. I don't even

0:24:10
spk_1
 

think that's a Well, I guess that is a web address. Well, that's not an email.

0:24:16
spk_3
 

I got your email in my mailbox the other day, which was just your whole computer.

0:24:21
spk_0
 

Okay. What, are you going to

0:24:22
spk_5
 

respond? I don't know what I have to dio e don't know what the Do I have

0:24:27
spk_3
 

to put my computer with the type?

0:24:29
spk_0
 

You type your email back into it? I typed my email into it. Then I gave you the computer. Then you type your email into it, then I guess an open word document. Exactly.

0:24:40
spk_3
 

And I'm gonna be honest. I don't know how. So you're the only person the world who have seen an email from where it's type does an email, but it's somehow still looks like you cut letters out of a magazine.

0:24:51
spk_0
 

Oh, yeah, It's my

0:24:52
spk_5
 

fund. Is your month is ransom.

0:24:55
spk_0
 

Yeah, it's my fund. I've been getting into the font game and I invented one called ransom. Ah, it's just a nice relaxing font for you to use for. You know, your word documents. Ah, these new things called blog's. Uh, I got what I thought

0:25:12
spk_1
 

was a love letter from you the other day and I immediately wired $15,000 because I think the font scared me.

0:25:21
spk_0
 

We'll know that that was a love letter. I do love you. Think Can this'd cannon? Yeah. Yeah, I love you. I love you that But you

0:25:36
spk_4
 

p I'm so

0:25:37
spk_0
 

tired of everybody making these rounding love letters to be physical love. You can write a love

0:25:47
spk_1
 

letter to anyone. Folk? Yes,

0:25:49
spk_4
 

absolutely. Guys, I was also going to say I got another

0:25:54
spk_1
 

job offer and that's to coach for the N C. Double A. No,

0:25:59
spk_2
 

really? Really? Yeah, because

0:26:05
spk_5
 

North Carolina asshole Association as correct it is. Ok, Wasn't sure, because it doesn't have to be. It doesn't.

0:26:17
spk_2
 

You're going to be an

0:26:18
spk_4
 

asshole, coach. Well, I got two different

0:26:21
spk_0
 

offers. Okay? I got obviously your most classic

0:26:23
spk_1
 

offer, Um, which is a national center of alien advance.

0:26:32
spk_0
 

Of course you got a coach. Okay, so it's three offers on the National Center of Alien Advancement. They want you to coach basketball to make them play more human. So the bacon seem more name inverse. Want you to find aliens, so we're sure big, and then they want

0:26:50
spk_1
 

you to advance sort of their situation.

0:26:53
spk_0
 

So you sort of have to find the squad and then coach

0:26:55
spk_1
 

them. Well, yeah, it's It's, it's, it's quickly, it's it's fast tracked through. NASA were talking. You take the intensive at NASA, they put you in the thing, they spin you around and make you puke, and then you get immediately honest.

0:27:10
spk_0
 

That's immediately on the ship. After this interview, they basically dizzy your ass up

0:27:16
spk_1
 

and put you right on the rocket on. And then you go look Fraley, and

0:27:19
spk_4
 

so I don't think I'm

0:27:20
spk_0
 

going to do that. It seems like a hard five, very with

0:27:25
spk_3
 

that place, because they're always outside my house and there's a condom. No human human

0:27:33
spk_0
 

you are. You are allergic to water and do look like one of those green aliens from signs

0:27:39
spk_3
 

okay? Yes. And Night Shyamalan based the aliens from signs off of, Ah, birthday party that I walk fast

0:27:46
spk_5
 

way all know this? Yes. If

0:27:50
spk_3
 

you throw water on May, I will die.

0:27:53
spk_0
 

And you're always taking in a cornfield.

0:27:55
spk_1
 

Right? You've been seeing You've always kind of runaround, corporeal. Make it.

0:27:58
spk_3
 

Yeah, Well, because I like to steal people's corn. See?

0:28:02
spk_2
 

Can I tell you something tied? You need to be careful about where your naked in public from now on is all

0:28:06
spk_0
 

you accidentally You took a call through a cornfield. Correct? Yeah. I realize you're just that the edge of the cornfield.

0:28:14
spk_5
 

Well, now I'm now I'm not allowed within. If I

0:28:17
spk_3
 

move into a neighborhood, have to introduce myself to all the Scarecrow's. I'm on a registry.

0:28:26
spk_0
 

Why? What happens if you walk up on a scarecrow weapons?

0:28:30
spk_2
 

They get scared, right?

0:28:32
spk_3
 

If I walk on a scarecrow out, they get scared. And, um uh, and the guy I don't know, that's it.

0:28:40
spk_0
 

Yeah, well, I thought I should let you guys know, because I might break

0:28:48
spk_1
 

off from you, cause it's always lies along the college basketball,

0:28:53
spk_3
 

and this has nothing to do with you. getting a love note from Sam. That suddenly gonna break out from the group to teach college basketball?

0:29:00
spk_4
 

Yeah. What way? Cool. No, I

0:29:06
spk_0
 

rarely run away from love. It's fairly If

0:29:11
spk_1
 

it's if it's the love of a best friend that I thought was platonic for our entire relationship that is recently come to light as possibly more than that.

0:29:25
spk_0
 

But we don't know. We haven't gotten the second letter yet. You haven't responded to the 1st 1 So it's a two parter. It seems like you lead you lead with a lot of info in what is the second part? Say, Unless it says I'm kidding? No, I have to go serious. I love you. I might have to

0:29:47
spk_1
 

create I a sort of a an escape plan via my career opportunity

0:29:57
spk_3
 

so you might go to the devil a at which they just said, We want you to coach any team or is a specific team interested in you, or do you just get to pick one?

0:30:05
spk_0
 

It is a team. It's it's they place you. So you go

0:30:12
spk_1
 

there and you do, um ah, basic training for coaches. So you get fitted for the big suit uh, you you have to be very angry, but stay behind the line. Um, you practice.

0:30:34
spk_0
 

How quickly can you write some gibberish on a little tiny white board? And they're still doing the red face test. Did your face get red enough? Yeah. You try to keep the red

0:30:45
spk_1
 

out of your face to show the other team you're not flustered.

0:30:48
spk_3
 

What about being more serious? Press conferences?

0:30:54
spk_0
 

Yes, you have to. After exerting yourself

0:30:58
spk_1
 

more than you ever have in your life. And you're angry, you have to immediately face the press.

0:31:04
spk_0
 

Do they test your rejection by the star player? Yes. You get rejected

0:31:10
spk_1
 

by your own player,

0:31:11
spk_3
 

and then they put your little machine and spin you around to throw up.

0:31:15
spk_1
 

He has They do that, and then you do a week of X's and O's is

0:31:21
spk_2
 

there? Is there Ah, course on ah, standing courtside with your suit jacket held back by your hands on your hips?

0:31:29
spk_0
 

Yeah. You do a week of pushing, throwing back with a jacket

0:31:34
spk_1
 

and land in your, um, hands on your belt. Good. That's good on. And

0:31:40
spk_0
 

then they place you.

0:31:41
spk_3
 

Okay. Well, um well, that's I mean, we'll miss you, Hamilton.

0:31:48
spk_2
 

What does that mean? Does that mean you're going to take the next year off from teaching or for the indefinite and indefinite?

0:31:55
spk_3
 

Rather be a college basketball coach?

0:31:58
spk_2
 

That's a strange choice, Bill. I'll say it with

0:32:00
spk_4
 

your friends. As you guys know, I

0:32:03
spk_0
 

get I droid and lose my temper. So odds are,

0:32:09
spk_1
 

you know, if I don't get that in control, I'm gonna I mean,

0:32:13
spk_4
 

that's what I love about you. You're a chili pepper. Your spicy. Yeah, You don't need to be cooled

0:32:22
spk_5
 

off to fix every be appreciated.

0:32:25
spk_2
 

And we need to play. It is

0:32:26
spk_4
 

just need a little.

0:32:27
spk_0
 

You want to run away, you're making me want to run away, even work. That's that spicy temper,

0:32:34
spk_2
 

Sam. I'll tell you now, I think if you want, if this group is ever going to stay together, you got a chill out with how you how hard you're expressing your love for Bill. You gotta play it cooler.

0:32:46
spk_0
 

Oh, they're all uncomfortable because I can

0:32:49
spk_3
 

tell the truth. Well, it's just very sudden and it feels a little unstable. To be honest him

0:32:55
spk_4
 

Here's what

0:32:56
spk_0
 

they don't tell you A lot of

0:32:58
spk_1
 

times in these self help books.

0:33:00
spk_0
 

Sometimes you get to say your truth and no one cares. And then you have to hide it for the rest of your life. So for in Mexico for two weeks and I've never been thinking clearer Bill. I love you, Sam. I think Chili Pepper and I like your heat.

0:33:21
spk_4
 

Where is this

0:33:21
spk_0
 

sun Sun stroke induced for love. What is this? It could be a sunstroke crush. Also, this the first time I've ever heard anybody. Chili pepper? No, because you got married the last time you were married. It was after a week in Costa Rica. Yeah, so that was really

0:33:47
spk_3
 

you Spent a week in Costa Rica and married an 82 year old bellhop.

0:33:53
spk_0
 

The eye no one has ever carried my bags like that before. Carrying other people's bags. Stunned stroke love. I think we've

0:34:01
spk_1
 

got another case of shuns. Sunstroke love. No, I don't. Yes,

0:34:07
spk_2
 

you know, it seems like you might

0:34:09
spk_0
 

Well, it seems like I'm talking to three people with dead hearts. Well, it seems like to me,

0:34:17
spk_3
 

I should say, since we're kind of revealing big news, um, I might be going to Hollywood. No, really. I sold my script for fun on a plane. Um, and it's on, like through this summer, and it's gonna come out September of next year. Um, and I think it's my big break

0:34:40
spk_2
 

calmer on a plane. You know what day beat? It

0:34:46
spk_4
 

won't. Todd, this is so exciting. It's his great run on a plane. Nothing could go wrong in the skies. Colon right through this guy.

0:35:00
spk_5
 

It's just I've been saying we need a movie that's 90 minutes. No problems. People having fun on a plane. It's my big

0:35:14
spk_3
 

break. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Kevin Spacey, uh, starring in it. I

0:35:21
spk_4
 

want to Sort

0:35:22
spk_0
 

of some of the fun they have on the plane is It's just sort of freewheeling. People are smoking. People are sort of,

0:35:28
spk_3
 

yes, smoking party, and it's a romp. It's American Pie meets Porky's meets Ah, beats a plane, you know,

0:35:34
spk_0
 

store is unlocked, right? What's that? Pilots doors unlocked.

0:35:39
spk_3
 

Pilots Army party in the cockpit,

0:35:41
spk_5
 

but it is the third colon of the fund Plane Gardens

0:35:45
spk_3
 

Guys party in the cockpit.

0:35:48
spk_0
 

Well, there's a guy there who juggles knives, right? He likes starts going into a show.

0:35:52
spk_3
 

Yeah, there's the knife juggler, ITT's I mean, it's

0:35:54
spk_4
 

so cool

0:35:55
spk_0
 

that they've they've decided to make it, send it into production and pick the release date all upon a mention.

0:36:06
spk_2
 

Well, it's a no brainer. Yeah, it's such a no brainer. They're figuring that's usually a slump in the in the year. You know, you got your big tent poles in that summer, September rolls around and they're they're just dumping all their crap on us waiting for Christmas. It's gonna be

0:36:19
spk_0
 

so awesome. I'm using that number is not crap that they're dumping on us. It is the

0:36:26
spk_5
 

timber. The title doesn't life one on a plane e go wrong in this guy's cockpit is unlocked. This is not It

0:36:35
spk_0
 

is unlocked or party in the cockpit

0:36:36
spk_5
 

cockpit. Pretty cool. And this is not cracked. This'll is

0:36:42
spk_2
 

not. That's good. It's gonna be so cool.

0:36:44
spk_0
 

That's honestly. So wait, So you're gonna hold off on starting the beginning of the year?

0:36:50
spk_3
 

I might I might take the year, um, and do a sabbatical. You know, eso I might not be going to Hamilton with y'all either

0:36:57
spk_0
 

from the states to the silver screen. And, you know, even though we've written to Hamilton that we accept. Two out of the four

0:37:06
spk_1
 

of us are not going as right now,

0:37:08
spk_4
 

you guys

0:37:09
spk_0
 

air so brave you guys A and also you

0:37:12
spk_4
 

like me at work.

0:37:13
spk_2
 

But you're brave. I don't

0:37:14
spk_0
 

What about our

0:37:15
spk_2
 

I was going to show up. I wasn't going to say anything. But now that I realized that you guys aren't going, Sam's not even a teacher. Yet I feel like I feel like actually, I'm gonna actually pursue the thing that I was thinking about pursuing next year instead of teaching as well. So what do you guys know? What's your dream? The jewelry business has really taken off, and it's I'm seeing this as an opportunity to stick it to the parents and say You're not the only people who can succeed in retail. So I've decided that I'm going to really put all my weight behind my jewelry business because, guys, I found a new sustainable material. No, that's not even really that gross. Oh, that that I am able to just It's just every day I get more. I'm making my stuff out of kidney stones and it looks beautiful there easily, easy, more easily molded. I give. I get myself a new one every day.

0:38:17
spk_0
 

So is this cause like birthstone? The birth? Soon

0:38:21
spk_2
 

it is. It's it's It's a sort of It's like a new take on the birthstone because it's a universal birthstone.

0:38:27
spk_0
 

Sort of a day, everyone.

0:38:29
spk_2
 

Yeah, well, if if you're getting as many of these as I am, you should probably see a doctor.

0:38:35
spk_0
 

You're going to ride this out now? I you sit me A cool

0:38:41
spk_1
 

little pinky ring made out of that. Had a birthstone are sorry. Um, kidney stone in it. And

0:38:50
spk_0
 

what was cool is they send you along with a burst

0:38:54
spk_1
 

own. They send you kind of like the

0:38:56
spk_0
 

story of the stone and what month it is and what it means. Kind of like a horoscope type of thing. And you with the kidney stone, it comes in this little box, and when you open the box, you get to hear the scream of the person who passed it. That's

0:39:12
spk_2
 

right. Uh, it's really interesting. Take very similar technology, actually, to how you did the trophy. Ah, your truth. Uh, if you set the box down, I actually aped the chip from your trophy. If you said the box down

0:39:27
spk_1
 

on a flat surface is hearing it on the inner ear, that

0:39:30
spk_2
 

so it's an inner ear, It's an interior. And when you take the lid off ah, it placed the scream of the person who passed it. So far, they've all been me. But I am. So I am. I am branching out. I'm I posted ads all over town trying to get people to ah, donate time. Also, you know, their their kidney stones. Uh, and so I'm hoping to build. Uh,

0:39:55
spk_0
 

I'm really I'm really looking forward to your branch. I've already gotten one of your Italian charm bracelet, and I've already gotten a kidney stone. I've gotten a corn. I'm waiting on a dingleberry. I'm hoping about on back order, right. You let me know. What? Dingle Berries. They're going back. Order for what? I don't know if you can see my wrist, but I'm gonna have quite the collection here. Okay, hold on. So it's just a birthstone and then all

0:40:25
spk_4
 

poop stuff with braces? I don't know. Howard

0:40:30
spk_5
 

Howard. Howard. Why did you do

0:40:33
spk_4
 

that? It's beautiful. What do you guys talking about? It's beautiful.

0:40:37
spk_0
 

It's on actually sourced minerals.

0:40:40
spk_2
 

I got to make money and I don't have supply chains. Okay.

0:40:44
spk_3
 

You started this by saying, I'm finally gonna take on my family. So you're gonna beat Levi's? Yeah. The Levi's corporation, kidney stones and other bodily nuggets that you've passed.

0:40:59
spk_2
 

I mean, diamonds used to be Cole. OK, Like like you guys are acting like it's weird to take a thing that's not desirable and hold onto it for a long time, and it becomes something that's desirable.

0:41:12
spk_4
 

I just don't say saying I just

0:41:14
spk_0
 

don't think anyone is going to be like, Oh, here comes the Here comes the flower girl and the the carrying of the den drift bag. Yeah, that's just no.

0:41:31
spk_2
 

Ask the people whose wedding I planned this week Ask the people whose wedding I play.

0:41:36
spk_0
 

We loved it. Yeah, exactly. We love it.

0:41:39
spk_5
 

You guys did

0:41:40
spk_4
 

not show up to that

0:41:42
spk_0
 

wedding, but yes, I did get married and so did Sam. That's me. I got married to me. I renewed my vow to myself because I thought it was gonna be a two person wedding. But it turns out it was just me and myself.

0:41:56
spk_3
 

I have never seen a wedding with so many objections.

0:42:00
spk_0
 

Yeah. You really angry? I was in the space I didn't with the space was double booked. Unfortunately. So everybody that was there for the other one have had objected. Everybody that was there for me, nobody objected during. There's so it seems like you showed up

0:42:16
spk_1
 

to a wedding to marry yourself, and people were pissed. If

0:42:20
spk_0
 

Well, Bill has showed up to marry you and you weren't there, so yeah, I didn't have to marry myself. What? You're you walk me up in the middle of the night and you said while smearing al oh, all over your face. You said bell. Let's go get married. There's a wedding happening down the street. We can just get in line. And

0:42:44
spk_4
 

I thought I was pretty clear.

0:42:47
spk_0
 

No, you can't. You can't just line. You can't just hop in by another. Soon as I started loving you, it was on. Okay. As soon as I started loving you, I was ready. And I don't know what your problem is, but I don't know. Have you not heard me say it? Did you not read my letter? I love you. And it doesn't have to be weird, okay? It just it just I need a friend who's in love with me.

0:43:20
spk_3
 

I can't believe I think we can all agree of anyone. You were gonna fall in love within the group that it wasn't, Todd.

0:43:28
spk_0
 

I see. I see. I'm feeling pretty good now. I got to people who Well, he

0:43:38
spk_3
 

wants to be in love with you. But obviously, I want you to be in love with May. Yes. Oh, my God. I do. Have you not seen my play? You haven't read my books?

0:43:47
spk_4
 

No, I have.

0:43:48
spk_5
 

Well, let me show you my machine gun. Oh, yeah,

0:43:52
spk_4
 

This is shiny. That's not an asset, Todd. Jealous? Also. Where did you

0:43:58
spk_2
 

get this? Did you did you steal this from somebody? This this is like,

0:44:02
spk_5
 

Oh, yeah. Looks

0:44:03
spk_2
 

like nice.

0:44:04
spk_3
 

Yeah, I stole this machine gun. Ah, thing you can dio is when people are asleep in that you can go into their houses and you could just rummage around and take things and they will rarely know if they don't have any sort of assistance.

0:44:16
spk_2
 

I'll tell you this time the fact that you rummaged around in somebody's house who had a machine gun is pretty scared. Let

0:44:21
spk_4
 

me see

0:44:21
spk_2
 

this machine gun.

0:44:22
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's got some carvings on the side. Uh,

0:44:26
spk_0
 

say, what house did you go through? Was it? Yeah. Big

0:44:32
spk_2
 

data. Did it have a gate?

0:44:35
spk_3
 

Yeah, I was getting. The whole thing was gated. I had toe. Luckily, I mean, you know me, I can walk through gates just sideways because of

0:44:43
spk_0
 

barbed wire on the tiger. Right side ways

0:44:46
spk_1
 

you disappear. Kind of. Any

0:44:48
spk_3
 

trends over the dispute? Obviously. Barbed wire on the top. I can't. I don't know if you can tell by the crown I have on my head. Uh,

0:44:56
spk_0
 

take that off. You looked like Jesus on his way to get crucified. Thank you, Todd. What else did you get in this house? Was there any other items? Possibly name tags you took are?

0:45:09
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah.

0:45:10
spk_0
 

I hope it's not that obvious.

0:45:12
spk_3
 

There was a ton of stuff, you know. It took some cereal. I there was,

0:45:18
spk_0
 

like, a safe cereals, like $3. Why did you take cereal?

0:45:23
spk_4
 

I would say you stole all this, Captain

0:45:25
spk_0
 

Crunch. I don't eat this anymore. I didn't know this was stolen goods.

0:45:30
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah, if you've ever had cereal from a That cereal is hot. That's what way

0:45:37
spk_0
 

I've been served hot Syria from you. I didn't know it was also stolen.

0:45:40
spk_3
 

Well, it's doubly hot. It's obviously served at the microwave like my sushi. But it's also hot, as in, you know, store. What?

0:45:48
spk_2
 

Did you open the safe? Have you cracked the safe?

0:45:51
spk_3
 

Oh, yeah. Um, you know, I can crack safe, so I just stick my little finger in there. Uh,

0:45:58
spk_0
 

yeah, you can. You can knock all the tumblers with just your little finger. It's skinnier than a key. That's right. Your little grossed finger is an unbelievable asset, but it would

0:46:10
spk_1
 

be too. Am to a thief team. Well,

0:46:13
spk_4
 

you since

0:46:13
spk_0
 

you've been at the beginning of lots of heist teams, but you just never quite made it through the end. You are in my You are obviously invaluable because you have your weird little tinker finger, but can walk sideways through anything essentially because he's

0:46:31
spk_4
 

paper. You would have to be so annoying to get ousted from a thief. Your two guys, You here to special guys?

0:46:41
spk_5
 

Look, I mean, there's a lot of incidents you can

0:46:47
spk_0
 

handle the social element of the notions. 12 or 11? Yeah. So, like playing cars after the highs had a problem. The

0:46:58
spk_3
 

post heist cards I go all in. And then I go into people when I lose, obviously. And then I try to buy back based on. Look, we just got this huge score, You know? I'm good for it.

0:47:10
spk_0
 

And you always have a tough time taking an equal share of the of the booty.

0:47:14
spk_3
 

You said it. I'm two guys. I deserve more booty, and that's all around.

0:47:20
spk_0
 

But And you, you have trouble.

0:47:23
spk_1
 

Um, Onley talking on unmarked phones and and not writing letters and written things down, causing a paper trail.

0:47:32
spk_3
 

Yeah, I'm the king of the paper trail, Because where can it stop causing a paper trail?

0:47:37
spk_4
 

Where you

0:47:38
spk_0
 

part of the big team that almost stole the Mona Lisa out of the loop?

0:47:41
spk_3
 

Yeah. Emphasis. And almost, unfortunately,

0:47:45
spk_4
 

what happened? You made it

0:47:47
spk_0
 

to France, right? You were there the night before the heist.

0:47:51
spk_3
 

We made it to France. We were, and there was a bit of disagreement over the pre heist playlist or whether we should even have one. Ah, obviously I'm trying

0:48:05
spk_0
 

you wanted to get pumped up.

0:48:06
spk_3
 

I'm trying to put together a pump up playlist for the boys. You because

0:48:09
spk_0
 

you do it. And headphones you're sneaking in and everything like that

0:48:12
spk_3
 

sneaking in headphones. But we all have to be Oh, my

0:48:16
spk_0
 

The big thing was that we don't need one song over and over and over

0:48:19
spk_3
 

again. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we

0:48:22
spk_0
 

dio you still kind of in the hyper that of argument?

0:48:26
spk_5
 

Well, yeah. Hypothetical

0:48:27
spk_3
 

argument. You want to go in? And Ari headphones everyone wanted to do had funds. Obviously, I'm going Boom box. So we're all the same Part of the song and it's were all coming out to the haste arm. The, uh Hey, that anyway ought to say, Hey, at the same time

0:48:43
spk_0
 

as you walk into the move.

0:48:46
spk_3
 

Yes, yes. Have you ever seen a Hudson Hawk? No, No preserving. You know, Hudson Hawk their signals swinging on a star. Bruce Willis This other guy there Robin, their signature swinging on a star. It is so cool. That movie is the peak. Cool. You know, it's my favorite movie.

0:49:06
spk_2
 

It's also a movie, though. Todd, you can't do things like that if you're actually gonna do things You can't walk into a museum with a guy. A group of guys dressed in black with masks on, holding a boom box playing the den and a hey saw.

0:49:20
spk_3
 

Oh, that's the other thing. We're not dressed in black if I have myself,

0:49:25
spk_0
 

you wanted to be in zebra

0:49:27
spk_3
 

urine. See, broad, that zebra's Blendon mawr each

0:49:32
spk_2
 

other. Todd, they blend in with each other. They don't live right? Let in with the world around them. They blend in with

0:49:37
spk_0
 

each other healthy that you wanted to stop and get luv gift shop souvenirs You want the

0:49:46
spk_3
 

way you get to live again. Well, so your big toe live. Yeah, you guys, Where did you guys not like my little Picasso handbags?

0:49:55
spk_0
 

No, they were really cool horse. We like them way like that. We didn't like that. You gave them to us from a Parisians prison.

0:50:06
spk_3
 

Well, I don't know what this isn't. Agree to disagree. Alright. Uh,

0:50:10
spk_4
 

where did you wear? What did

0:50:12
spk_0
 

you break into? Where were you? Talk. Just This has an

0:50:17
spk_2
 

inscription on it that says El Potro. You know who that is, right?

0:50:20
spk_3
 

Yeah, it's the tequila guy know

0:50:23
spk_4
 

what did you Keeler? What, Todd, that's to your

0:50:27
spk_3
 

cereal is disgusting.

0:50:29
spk_2
 

You broke into Pablo Pyszka bars house. Todd?

0:50:33
spk_0
 

No. Yeah. Then came back here.

0:50:36
spk_3
 

Okay, well, there's no way they could track me, okay? I barely bleeding. Ah,

0:50:44
spk_0
 

yeah, but you leave your snail trail everywhere you go.

0:50:47
spk_4
 

You also you've been carrying and you drag your butt leaves. You have three trails.

0:50:54
spk_5
 

You know, you have a paper trail and you have a snail trail, and they all stick together. There's a fresh coat

0:51:02
spk_3
 

of paint on my get away

0:51:03
spk_5
 

car, and I think I put it on a little too thick.

0:51:10
spk_2
 

Todd, you're gonna

0:51:11
spk_0
 

bring all right back to us. He's are

0:51:13
spk_2
 

upset at me. He's

0:51:15
spk_5
 

a machine gun, bitch.

0:51:19
spk_0
 

Do you think you only have one more? He's got more where that came from.

0:51:24
spk_5
 

No, I couldn't

0:51:25
spk_3
 

find him. I couldn't even find bullets for this thing.

0:51:28
spk_0
 

So perfect is this This guy doesn't have bullets. So you stole his gun to piss him off, But you can't even use it. This is This is rich. This is really rich. He's not

0:51:37
spk_3
 

gonna find us. He's not gonna find us.

0:51:40
spk_4
 

Who? He's one of the

0:51:41
spk_2
 

most powerful cartel people on the planet.

0:51:46
spk_0
 

He's going to find us. Listen, listen, I am now in lock down mode, okay? I'm pretty sure. Pyszka Mars coming to get us first things first. He can't know we're in here. If he comes, I'm gonna stand outside the door and cover it with my big red body. And no one's going to know there's a door. What if you wrote him a sort of a quick note? Oh,

0:52:07
spk_4
 

those don't really work. Well, do that. My rejected pretty hard. Good. Maybe that's a good thing

0:52:17
spk_2
 

in this case. We want him. We want him to reject us.

0:52:20
spk_4
 

Okay, Piscopo, I love you. Is that what you want?

0:52:22
spk_0
 

Because nobody could love me and it would make him run away. That might he might be avoided. He might be an avoidant lover. We could scare him away with intimate Well,

0:52:33
spk_4
 

now you know all the terms now you know the terms. You have

0:52:39
spk_0
 

the conversation. That was a slip from therapy years.

0:52:46
spk_4
 

Write him a note

0:52:47
spk_0
 

in ransom. OK, I'll put it under the door. All right. It and ransom. Dear Pyszka

0:52:52
spk_1
 

Bar. I love you. First of all from the time I heard your name,

0:52:57
spk_0
 

I knew you were hilarious. Big, sweeping love gestures. I support everything you do. Even if the general public thinks you're bad, I get it and they don't understand our love. I'll do anything for you. If you just respond to this, let me know what you want for me. I'll delete any parts of my personality to become your thing. Maybe add something

0:53:23
spk_1
 

about you wanting to meet each other's families quickly.

0:53:28
spk_0
 

Pisco bar. I want to meet your dad and I want to ask him What you were like is a kid. I want to see your baby Nudes. I want to see a way. I want

0:53:37
spk_5
 

to see that. What? I

0:53:39
spk_4
 

want to see your baby needs in the

0:53:42
spk_5
 

double down. Don't double with your mom,

0:53:45
spk_1
 

okay? No, no, We don't want to see Pyszka part taking a bath with his mother as a child. I love

0:53:51
spk_5
 

you. Just sent it out the window into the

0:53:55
spk_0
 

world. No, listen, it's not like he's going to read it, and it's not like it matters. Okay? What if someone normally gets a love note for me? They just crumple it up. It just ends up in the round file the trash cans. I've never heard that. It's a funny thing

0:54:16
spk_1
 

you say in an office. I'll file it right away in the round file. A trash

0:54:20
spk_3
 

can. You know, I can't be tied down to a 9 to 5.

0:54:23
spk_2
 

Yeah, guys that I don't know, this feels like bad news. Now, you know, we wear on our way out, but we got to get out of here. Like it. Open up.

0:54:35
spk_3
 

Uh, who is it? Pyszka bar. Okay, We're not in here. Idiot. Calling in.

0:54:44
spk_4
 

Oh, my God, You're here. Did you come for me?

0:54:47
spk_5
 

You're not in love with him already. Are you saying just from writing a note? Well, he's

0:54:50
spk_4
 

here. He responded. I love you. Open. Get

0:54:55
spk_0
 

out of the doorway. Who got my cereal?

0:54:58
spk_5
 

Oh, I got your stale ass, Captain Crunch. Give me back the cereals. Oh, we all let Tom Popper even

0:55:06
spk_3
 

Sam. Weatherman Howard Levis a bill crazy, a serial.

0:55:13
spk_0
 

Give us back cereal and we'll call it even. Bill. I've never seen you so scared and quiet. I can't I don't like confrontation.

0:55:22
spk_3
 

Howard Howard Here. Uh, let's get here we go. Can you machine gun out some of those kidney stones. I'm gonna hold you like a machine gun. Cereals, water. You guys water Howard's kidneys like a speed bag.

0:55:42
spk_0
 

Okay. How do you know

0:55:43
spk_2
 

what causes kidney Stone soda. Full sugar soda. Uh, yeah.

0:55:48
spk_0
 

Put you up on a soda beer pong and will punch you in the kidneys. And, Bill, you keep reloading the soda and I'll keep punching the kidneys. Bob Lo, there's no reason

0:55:57
spk_3
 

we can't resolve this peacefully. I'll bring you back your cereal. I am so sorry I let your dogs

0:56:03
spk_4
 

out. Just give us 30 seconds and stand right in front of the door.

0:56:08
spk_0
 

Pablo, You letting the dogs out?

0:56:12
spk_3
 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I let the dogs out.

0:56:16
spk_2
 

Alright. Who

0:56:17
spk_4
 

let the dogs up? Me, Meteo, Don't say that around the bottom and they'll steal

0:56:24
spk_5
 

it. Oh, are outside Real quick. Fix to our engineers, the Baja Man for putting together editing our podcast and never stealing

0:56:35
spk_3
 

anything we say for their song.

0:56:37
spk_0
 

Thank you. Bye. Comment. All right. I'm going to stand right in front of the door. As long as you promise to round my dogs back up and give me back my cereal

0:56:48
spk_3
 

All right, Stand right in front of

0:56:49
spk_0
 

the door to Pyszka Bar is pretty reasonable. Yeah, pretty reasonable. And he has, like, over Crapo. Come get right behind

0:56:57
spk_2
 

me. Here. Oh, wait.

0:56:58
spk_4
 

Crabapples here too. It's me and crabapple.

0:57:03
spk_3
 

So Krampus eyes out Cripple like a tiny little is you like a Martian, like,

0:57:09
spk_4
 

very small. Exactly like Marvin the Martian coffee.

0:57:14
spk_0
 

And looks like our crap has

0:57:16
spk_1
 

got a bit of a Napoleon complex.

0:57:19
spk_4
 

Hi, m. Actually an alien from outer space, and no ever sticks up for us. Okay, call you. Should I? Maybe I should start that

0:57:34
spk_0
 

outreach. It's maybe gravy.

0:57:39
spk_3
 

All right, we're opening the door. You ready, Howard?

0:57:42
spk_2
 

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm

0:57:43
spk_0
 

gonna feed him soda.

0:57:47
spk_5
 

Say hello to my little Howard. Oh, New Year, you filthy animals.

0:58:10
spk_0
 

Todd, where did you get all this cocaine itself?

0:58:13
spk_3
 

That soak back on salt, You guys.

0:58:16
spk_0
 

Oh, God. I hate how you far put your assault weight on our crap on And Pisco Bar dead. Let me touch. I'm not dead yet, love, But what's this letter? It's a letter for me. Maybe it will bring you back to life because of true love. you want to see my baby

0:58:42
spk_4
 

pictures? Yeah. I just want to know you love me into me. How intimately. No, I wouldn't

0:58:54
spk_0
 

be. Intimacy is healing by biscuit. Marceau avoided that. He would rather, like, rather go to the grave. I'd read, dies, loathe and submit Beautiful prospect of love Karaoke. Oh, no. You guys. Escobar's Ted. That's okay. I immediately did he fall on cry. Think you

0:59:18
spk_2
 

fell on Craft

0:59:22
spk_4
 

me. Me fell on me. And I have a very weak exo skeleton. I want everyone to know that exist, E I have I just wish. I think I've caught weak bones. Jones,

0:59:45
spk_3
 

you got my

0:59:47
spk_4
 

spread. Somebody needs to let them know that aliens don't have the antibodies. Tichy, bones, advocate for us grow.

1:00:01
spk_2
 

Oh, my God.

1:00:02
spk_4
 

How Todd Bone killed.

1:00:07
spk_5
 

I'm a hero. I'm a hero. You're

1:00:13
spk_2
 

you guys. This isn't a good thing. We just killed two of the biggest cartel heads in all of South America, South and Central America.

1:00:21
spk_3
 

What were they doing? It can come,

1:00:25
spk_2
 

E. I don't know

1:00:27
spk_5
 

what you're here. You mean North America?

1:00:34
spk_2
 

Well, they spanned the Americas.

1:00:36
spk_3
 

They spend the Americas. It's years. Two of the biggest drug Lords that Spain, the Americas

1:00:41
spk_2
 

all the way. We have, like there, going to be sending people out after us. As soon as they figure out that that they're dead, they're going to send

1:00:47
spk_0
 

what we gotta get out of here. We need we need to get to the States immediately. Can I leave Cancun? Have I done everything I wanted to do? Yeah, Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. We do something really quickly on our way out that we wanted to do that We didn't get to Dio. I wanted to go shopping for souvenirs tied.

1:01:09
spk_3
 

I wanted to go shopping for souvenirs. I would love to get a shot glass that someone will have to move every time they move and never use.

1:01:17
spk_0
 

Oh, yeah? And you keep it in the back of the drawer and you've never taken a ship. Usually when you take a shot at home, you just drink it out of the bottle.

1:01:25
spk_3
 

No one I know on earth takes shots at home, but I'd love

1:01:29
spk_0
 

Teoh. Okay, that's good. Okay, So, Todd, that's your bucket list of Kinko.

1:01:37
spk_4
 

Oh, I want to

1:01:38
spk_0
 

get a brittle T shirt. It shrinks three sizes. Stop. Can we stop

1:01:46
spk_3
 

will be offensive and unwearable in public.

1:01:49
spk_2
 

Is our bucket list all souvenir shopping? We don't want to do any activity.

1:01:55
spk_4
 

I don't know what's yours.

1:01:56
spk_2
 

Well, yeah, my minus. I want to get one of those pens that has Cancun in it with a bunch of glitter. And like, a seahorse or something that when you turn it,

1:02:07
spk_0
 

slide up, break in the drawer and break out oil and the material inside of it is toxic. Oh, gosh. And all I want to do before we leave is fall in love. I just want to quickly fall in love and bring a relationship home with me. Something I know will be sustainable because it happened at a great time.

1:02:29
spk_3
 

Well, Sam, I would love for you to meet your vacation lover, but that might take too long and

1:02:34
spk_4
 

yeah. Oh, there's what? Come here. I love you. Come here.

1:02:41
spk_0
 

No. Okay. I'm good to go. That was That was a man with his wife. Like I said, I'm good to go. Way should

1:02:51
spk_3
 

figure out Sam. Sam. Still, his wrist attachment is still connected to that jet ski. Can we get that off or you just gonna be connected to this jet ski for a while.

1:03:00
spk_0
 

I think I'm bringing a jet ski home with us, fellas. Well, let's put the jet ski on a trailer and get the heck out of here. Did anybody have a car?

1:03:10
spk_2
 

Guys get cars Are gonna be good if we're if we're out and about in the city. I mean, people are going to see us like that. He's got

1:03:17
spk_4
 

to fly out of

1:03:18
spk_2
 

here. Crap. Berlin and Pisco Bar have have eyes all over this city.

1:03:22
spk_5
 

Okay, Also on Iran Hasam zone Mirada My mezcal. Mostar's So you see this

1:03:34
spk_4
 

again? Is this somebody you met? Orange Simpson Simpson has a Bronco Missus

1:03:45
spk_5
 

Ito Sue Bronco. You see a medium and a Quattro personas Mori Guapo Gretzky

1:03:59
spk_2
 

E mu Choe Piss jewelry

1:04:04
spk_5
 

Mu tro piss. True in Iran,

1:04:06
spk_4
 

huh? Multiple Bonneau stops. Multiple genius up.

1:04:15
spk_5
 

You're the Spanish teacher, Bill. You don't just say really work with accents.

1:04:21
spk_4
 

I'm still learning. Is Neuron Hall in his way?

1:04:26
spk_3
 

Yes. He said he's coming.

1:04:27
spk_2
 

Okay, well, we have to wait here. He's bringing the Bronco. He's got room for us. Okay, We're

1:04:32
spk_4
 

gonna be fine. Um, I'm gonna

1:04:33
spk_0
 

fit in the Bronco Or do I have to write him jets? Cute for bringing

1:04:38
spk_2
 

back my whole all my inventory? I don't know if we'll have space inside.

1:04:42
spk_0
 

Okay, well, we got to do what we gotta do that makes you think I like this key. Anyway,

1:04:47
spk_3
 

should we get you a hat or something to hold down your wig?

1:04:52
spk_4
 

Wig? This is loose skin. My skin has

1:04:56
spk_0
 

got incredibly loose because I haven't been able to get my hands on much food down here. But I have been burning and drying up. Oh, you have long locks of skin on your hand. That's right. That's right. It's almost like I'm wearing one of those safari hats with the flap in the back. But it's just the top of my head skin. Oh,

1:05:16
spk_4
 

yeah. Hey, it's a living.

1:05:21
spk_5
 

No, it's not. You can't get work because of it.

1:05:26
spk_4
 

Yeah, but you know what? The living it till it's the absence of a living. I don't see the Bronco,

1:05:31
spk_5
 

and I do think it's a dying. So wait, you

1:05:34
spk_4
 

guys, it looks like, Is that Who is that

1:05:37
spk_2
 

in the eyes that Steve will close with a machine gun in the back

1:05:40
spk_4
 

seat of the Bronco got hot, brought welcomes. Oh, no. It's coming up above out of the sunroof like a turnip.

1:05:48
spk_2
 

Oh, Whoa! Will close to shooting his machine cut up in all the helicopters

1:05:53
spk_0
 

that are flying around. You are a big deal. All right.

1:05:57
spk_2
 

All right, guys. The Broncos outfront Wilco's as machine gun, Your honest in

1:06:02
spk_0
 

the well, I'm seated on the jet ski, so whatever you can tell you ready? Oh, yeah. Sam is taking incoming fire. We've got to make a break for it.

1:06:12
spk_2
 

We got to make a break for it. It's just hitting skin. Alright. On the count of three, we got a run for the bronco, fellas.

1:06:19
spk_0
 

Thought on the zebra costumes.

1:06:25
spk_5
 

My boys, this is a really crew. Put

1:06:28
spk_0
 

on a zebra, six legged zebra. Yeah, but I'm but Wayner. But 31 Go, go, go! Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left tail! And I'm on a

1:06:45
spk_4
 

jet ski

1:06:46
spk_2
 

way! Get it, Get it! Get it, guys! Alright. How

1:06:52
spk_5
 

well are you goes?

1:06:54
spk_4
 

Hey, orange! Step on an orange,

1:06:57
spk_2
 

Wilk, us. Lay down some cover fire! Let's go

1:07:01
spk_5
 

behind men. Thanks again for recording. You cannot use anything we said for your songs. Be safe.

1:07:07
spk_2
 

Alright, Neuron a head head for a 7 to 7 11 near the border.

1:07:12
spk_4
 

How's it going in there, guys? Okay. Thanks for years. You're

1:07:21
spk_5
 

Sam comes office thumbs up for faster. Thumbs down for slower guy standing head. He's off. He's off. Let me get the flag. Way

1:07:32
spk_0
 

turning around. Oh, guys, I We can't treat this like it. Inner tube. He's gonna fall off to a time. Okay? I'll just stay on this time. Thanks for

1:07:44
spk_2
 

getting me that strapping men will stratum in. Listen, guys, I've been peeing in the same spot by a 7 11 for the past two weeks. Okay? So I've created sort of a tunnel. My pissed is so acidic that I've created a tunnel that we can tunnel under the border. We just

1:07:59
spk_4
 

had to get it. If you're with me, we can ride it all the way.

1:08:02
spk_2
 

It's the P is not in there anymore. It's way jet ski behind, So but it's a tunnel. If we can get there, we could get out of here. Okay? It's free. It's all that goes all the way to the United States. We can get under the border

1:08:15
spk_3
 

huh? Necesito almost siete a own say tunnel Rapido.

1:08:21
spk_2
 

All right, He said it in the right direction. We're getting

1:08:23
spk_0
 

Rossi s Tirana. That was good as Aiken dio.

1:08:27
spk_4
 

Thank you, Orange.

1:08:32
spk_2
 

All right, there it is. There is There is a 7 11 Okay, guys, listen.

1:08:35
spk_0
 

All right, let's stop recording before we go back. We get underneath the the border because it might can We're gonna We're gonna lose service.

1:08:42
spk_2
 

Okay, Well, I'm gonna stop recording right now. I'm gonna hit the button. Okay? Again here ago. All right, we stop record, we're going. Okay, Okay. Now we can say whatever we want. Thank you for orange. Yeah. Thank God for orange. You such a great guy? Just about anywhere

1:08:59
spk_1
 

in the tunnel. Yeah, I am now that we're not recording. Yeah, I love you too, You

1:09:06
spk_4
 

dio.

1:09:09
spk_2
 

Yeah, but wow,

1:09:10
spk_0
 

I knew that she did.

1:09:12
spk_1
 

Sometimes love isn't enough, you know,

1:09:15
spk_0
 

or sometimes scary to do it in front of

1:09:18
spk_1
 

people. Yeah, I can admit it as long as no one is watching

1:09:23
spk_3
 

what you're talking about over there.

1:09:26
spk_0
 

Nothing. Alright, guys, that's the tunnel. This is the final

1:09:29
spk_2
 

I made. We just need to move north Okay. We need to move north and we'll make it. Will make it through. Okay. So just let's just head this way

1:09:37
spk_1
 

right there. So you do. We hold on, There's a split in the road. We

1:09:41
spk_3
 

probably don't need to keep walking in the zebra costume. Right? We like it in unison. We could on

1:09:47
spk_2
 

the other side room way. If we don't want the Border Patrol toe to stop us, we need to have

1:09:52
spk_0
 

Wait. I thought this was a one way tunnel.

1:09:57
spk_2
 

I did to wait. Hang on a second. What is this going? Hang on. That's

1:10:02
spk_0
 

GPS isn't working. This is where this is huge. This is a huge. This is a spacious tunnel. This is massive. This tunnel so big there's

1:10:15
spk_4
 

a helicopter. Who are you?

1:10:24
spk_6
 

Who are you

1:10:25
spk_4
 

Way first. Know who I am, motherfucker? Everybody

1:10:31
spk_0
 

knows the answer. You got your futures. Is the teachers and orange the teachers? I'm Are you El Chapo? I'm El Chapo Guzman. He's in the

1:10:43
spk_2
 

old copper. Do you guys need a lift? I remembered you before, but anyone was escaping. Makes no. I just freshly escaped.

1:10:51
spk_5
 

You state your escape tunnel.

1:10:53
spk_2
 

You, Doug, You dug the last piece of it.

1:10:56
spk_0
 

I got out, like via walking through a tunnel. I didn't know you flew a helicopter. You. Thank you.

1:11:03
spk_2
 

I spend my whole life and helicopters. Guys, listen. Wait. We guys a list? Yes, it's you guys finished my tunnel. You can hop on the chopper. All right, We'll head to the

1:11:14
spk_0
 

drive the Bronco up into the cargo bay of the hunt of the shaft.

1:11:19
spk_2
 

Do that. Do that

1:11:20
spk_5
 

up. So I'm heading to

1:11:21
spk_3
 

Hollywood. Bill is going to of the double A.

1:11:26
spk_0
 

Yeah. Ah, I haven't decided. So drop me off in between the alien institute.

1:11:32
spk_2
 

I'm headed Teoh. I'm headed to Soho just ahead. There

1:11:36
spk_0
 

is no sure they know we're coming.

1:11:39
spk_3
 

The only one of us that's not credited is going to go toe Hamilton.

1:11:43
spk_2
 

Okay, First Air Force effort stops. Chopper?

1:11:47
spk_0
 

Yeah. What do you think? Chopper to?

1:11:49
spk_2
 

It's fine. No, it's fine. I I can't land anyway. I have to stay in the air.

1:11:53
spk_3
 

Great. Great. Four stops and, uh, can we step on it?

1:11:57
spk_1
 

Step on, Chapo.

1:11:59
spk_3
 

Upon the drop,

1:12:00
spk_2
 

I only know one speed, fellas, and that is fast.

1:12:05
spk_3
 

Whoa! That

1:12:06
spk_0
 

was Lance's toe. Hamilton on Hollywood and in between. And Howard's Howard, do you

1:12:18
spk_4
 

live in so

1:12:19
spk_2
 

I don't have a place yet. I'm gonna go big

1:12:25
spk_4
 

first. Are you going to so, huh? Because if there

1:12:28
spk_0
 

were jeans, the jeans headquarters

1:12:30
spk_2
 

feels Bridgette's where my I think my jewelry really true problem. I go to Soho.

1:12:35
spk_4
 

Well, I want to get a cell. How?

1:12:37
spk_2
 

Hey, the more the merrier. I can use help at the store. When I finally opened it, build it.

1:12:41
spk_0
 

Let me know when you have a new charm.

1:12:44
spk_2
 

Okay, I will. I'll definitely have. So

1:12:47
spk_0
 

I was really looking forward to a tooth. You know? Actually, I don't want to go to SoHo. Take me

1:12:52
spk_1
 

to the take me to the college coach training facility. I guess this is it, guys. Maybe we won't see each other for a while. Yeah, I guess

1:13:02
spk_3
 

so. Too fun on a helicopter interior. Kandahar shot on location. It should be cheap.

1:13:13
spk_1
 

Todd's right way.

1:13:16
spk_3
 

We see a bunch of Jason Biggs looks at a big gazpacho.

1:13:21
spk_1
 

Oh, I do not know. The tone of this movie

1:13:24
spk_0
 

feels like American pie in a soup in the Middle East

1:13:27
spk_2
 

in Kandahar on a helicopter.

1:13:30
spk_1
 

Oh, guys, I guess we just got to write each other while we're separate.

1:13:34
spk_2
 

Yeah, we can just write each stay in touch, okay? And hey, here's the thing. Once we end up back in Hamilton, maybe we can pick this thing back up where we where we left off. You know, when

1:13:43
spk_0
 

I will make sure they save our spaces for us. Howard, why don't you never got to

1:13:49
spk_1
 

do the intro? Why don't you, for old time's sake, do what the intro would have been if we were actually gonna continue?

1:13:56
spk_2
 

That's actually I'm not record way shit. I was going to say I'm not recording, but I've actually continued recording when I said I turned it off. So we've been recording this whole Thomas. Well, way I'm recording everything and so end. Yeah, we know we'll sign off with the sign on. How about and eso? Ladies and gentlemen, this has been the and that showed up this episode of the teacher's lounge. Everybody's This alone is from the teachers first only pot where the only podcast that teachers were teachers talk about being a teacher together when they're sitting in their room to get a drinking some coffee together could I'm gonna jump off.

1:14:41
spk_4
 

No. Oh,

1:14:48
spk_2
 

I think I guess it's just me and you chapeau. Oh, you don't want to talk to me either. All right. In Noun The chopper The bay watching the play Spin away six In the mornin, Sir,

1:15:15
spk_0
 

This shut up. He shut up for sure.

Add your own RSS feed to enable audio playback.

Link should be in the format:
https://biggrande.memberfulcontent.com/rss/123456?auth=abc123