fuck Corona virus.

Yeah. Yeah, You know what? So what if I have it? Yeah. So what if we all

got it? Let's just get it so we could be done with it. And I know there is no promise of immunity. Just

give it to me. I think I was

so fed up. Everybody's telling me I have to wear the mask. Not only am I not wearing a mask, I'm not wearing underwear anymore.

Yeah, you have really gone hard in the other direction.

Just so tired of these politicians telling me how after dress

now.

So what? I have to wear a mask on my face. I have to wear a loin cloth over my genitals. Sam, the

underwear is not for you. It's to protect us from what's going on down.

For what? What do you In what way? What do you need? Protection. It keeps us safe. Yeah, I don't know what you mean. You're gonna have to be specific, because I I'm trying to exercise my liberty. It

doesn't keep

your dick from getting corona virus. It keeps us from seeing your Penis.

So it's a site

when you sit down on a chair and your pants, Titan. We see. Full outline way. See? Full outline. You did. And And it's all smushed up in that one little spot. Uh,

heap, we're keeping our outlines from you, so if you could keep your outline for from us,

I'm still wearing pants. Jeez, a man undies. What

are you gonna

tell me? I have to keep wearing that next socks. I have to wear socks with my leather sand.

I mean, how about this? Wait, wait. Just slippery foot standing, you know, in

the slippery foot, he falls down all the time without sacks

on in, splits his pants, and we see that he's not wearing any underwear.

Okay, well, it worked for Lenny Kravitz. So is Kravitz not okay with you guys?

Find work in this. You're in your late

trying to pull. That's what it is. He's been trying to pull a Kravis since the day he saw that would know and do a plop out in an unfurl.

I'm not trying to pull the Kravitz, but let's just say I'm fine if one happens. Okay?

I'm tired of the

never may say it.

Telling me not to do a crab. It

Sam now that you say you're now that we've realized you're trying to do a crab, it's everything you did. A graduation makes sense,

OK? Why did play American woman a good time?

Yeah, the guitar. We are the leather pants, The title Zoe Kravitz. So crap, you got it.

We all see you chasing the coveted plop unfurl.

But nobody is saying anything. I feel pretty your display and nobody said anything until just now

You already shot for shot Re created the Vince Neil tape. Yes. Now do we need crab? It's way really need crab.

Looking for a little bit of a reaction from my friends because throughout the whole ceremony slash performance, all I got was crickets. You were acting like Lenny Kravitz wasn't on

stage. You'll come crashing in. Going. Come on, come on, unfurl. Let's go. Come on, babe.

And I couldn't get a Oh, no, He's doing a Kravitz. I couldn't get a

little hype. What is that game and what does that get? You know, you say, I don't

know, But you couldn't tell. I wanted to support.

I'm dressed in full Kravitz. I invited his daughter, tricked her into thinking of him and you guys can't give me at Big little Lies. Season three table read on the front of the jam. Okay, so I have good strategies in that bold against me now.

Hey, you know, if we're giving people recognition, I will give, uh, miss Miss Hudson recognition for doing a great read of recent Reese Witherspoon's parts. No. What? I want a table read. Uh huh,

Yeah, she was good. She was good. She

was good.

Miss Hudson did great. Laura Dern was good.

Todd did a very polite job of staying out of the room as requested.

Well, that was intentional.

You didn't trying

to recreate one of his favorite celebrity gaffes.

That's right. With go stage fall,

which is a little known, it's a little unstable. It's not. It's not Kelsey Grammer's lift. How it was it was on stage accepting, uh, what was it? What was

the address of Good 11 award for TV dads? That's nice. Which it was, of

course. Joseph Gordon Levitt, of course, have everybody's favorite to a George Gordon 11.

You know he is an alien. Third Rock was true.

Well, that's why his name is Joris. If

you don doesn't cover for George. If the alien

Yes, that was all a cover. It was hastily written by a bunch of aliens Teoh to cover his tracks.

And I'll tell you what they really did a good job casting French Stewart. They nailed it. I believe the

show. I think he's the most famous one of their planet, right? Oh,

God. I was confused. He's not even an actor. That's how deep it goes.

The whole nineties, the TV industry, the movie industry was all aliens writing stuff to convince us. Coneheads. Yeah, Alien rock. Yeah, I think

the last, the last one where it jumped the shark was K pax because their way eating the banana

thing Look, the produce alone was worth the trip. Well, maybe we knew

I was

able to successfully create, um the, uh when that when that R and B artist almost chopped that girl's head off When he's trying to jump at the NGO. Miguel, I almost clean cut somebody's head off trying to jump from one cat walk to the other. Because, of course, we had raised stage of pit graduation

wars where you were very MTV,

which I thought

the kids would love until I realized kids don't really like MTV, right? It's not really it's It's that style of production sort of died with with our with spring break. I mean, we had obviously had that experience a long time ago. It's spring break, and we tried to recreate it in

which we would have loved to know before creating the recreating the three way kiss with Madonna, Christine Irregular and Britney Spears. But with the four of us and the snake from the other Britney Spears performance,

we couldn't get a the stars. But we could get the snake, so we jumped on

it. Howard was about halfway digested in that snake before we realized it graduates,

right? Yeah. I don't know how you guys missed it. Honestly,

Well, I think it's shut up in that snakeskin suit. So it was using when you were next.

God forbid I make a choice, and and the first time I make a big choice in my entire life, it fucking bites me in the ass literally.

And it happened to me. We d zero your suit, and that's what happened. We didn't even reference that you were in a snakeskin suit and then, of course, you got eaten by the snake. What, did you a

snake eat you or did the snake? Thank you Were its long lost father and was trying to take you away or rekindle I

find with either.

I mean, the way it was treating me, it could have gone either way. You know, it did sort of attached to me very early when it came with its handler. Ah, like it sort of sat next to me on a bench and just kind of looked up and, like, sort of nodded along with everything that I said Was that

open to the relationship with its long His father

wasn't standoffish. No. And at a certain point, I said, Hey, would you mind go making me a drink in the kitchen? Ana and the snake and the snake? Yeah. Said this. Yeah.

I was like, Okay, he's taking Okay,

I'm going to eat me

drink. Well, eventually. Because he went, he got frustrated. Okay? Didn't do it, right? Came back. And I said, Are you

kidding me with this? You didn't even put you put too much ice in this. Where was the snake going?

To the the camp Materia kitchen at the school.

And yeah, this now. And it couldn't get Teoh. It couldn't It obviously doesn't have hands, so it had to ballpark the ice. Uh, and so it brings the cutback in its mouth, and I take it out and I look in there and he only put a few pieces of ice in there. And when I ask you to make me a drink, I want it to be full ice. I wanted to be so much ice is European soccer s.

So there was only a few pieces of ice, but there was too much ice in there, saying

yes. Yes, Europe get some damn ice. Okay, We've been saying this

for fucking years, and our editors have been cutting it out. Every said we go in the European ice tirade.

Some damn eyes.

Yeah, we're leaving. Hey, um, Mr. Producer, we're leaving this one in. Okay?

Finally, every episode. Just so the slobs? No. There's 45 minutes of a nice debate that's been chopped off.

Usually the episodes air an hour 45 they've been trimmed.

By the way,

where you here

ice debates their company that you're saying really

nice debates for the old slobs were doing five minis in their allies. Debates? Yeah. Well, Howard, I'm glad you found Can I ask really quick? How is my mike sounding to everybody in the studio? How? My hair I like that a lot of country. Um, And how is my mike? Is he all right in the room or Missy? Bother

my government trout? Yeah, let me ask him. Let me ask him. Doing fine.

Thank you, Mike. I appreciate I appreciate you being quiet.

Just so everybody knows we do have Mike Chairman Trout in the studio with us here.

We have a big security needs now. Big security needs have graduation.

Okay. We should get into the the intro in the graduation. In the discussion there real quick. Does anyone want some? I'm stepping on this new mushroom tea that everyone's been drinking some. It's a Chaka Chino every once in this truck that, you know, I mean,

absolutely not.

I have a big match s so I'm okay.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're moving on from coffee. We're moving on. We're not teachers anymore. We don't care about copy. We got Chuck Pacino's. We got much we have herbal tea. Chai.

Try. Yeah, I'm of

course. Try. This is my brand called G Chai. Um, and

licensing is still still under review, right?

Well, let's say a

lot of the Internet is mad about it. Every every couple months I've been trying to get Cheech. I started

and they're saying your logo uses someone else's likeness.

Yes, but I don't know

what they're talking about. It's a man on both his toes, knees slightly bent off. He's with one arm. He's flinging out his white loose shirt.

And can you see both of his hands?

One hand is grabbing Penis crotch Eddies and one and is flinging kind of up in the air. The shirt is going back, Uh, ghosts face.

Now can I tell you? Build

a Grateful Dead skeleton face. Okay, so there's what

you change it up,

I think. Grateful dead fans. I think grateful dead beds are mad

heads. The heads are all over the Internet. Mbaye are in

and Bill tell them the best connections. It's

surprisingly good. They record every damn show in its entirety, and that's why the

Internet breaks down is because we have so many full grateful dead shows logged on the servers. Why

do you think You know what? Why do you think Amazon most of

Bezos's day is dealing with the gigabytes from a Grateful Dead? That's all of his day. Deserves the money.

We just want to get mad at him. About how much more they say that this is immoral. How much money you have? He said you want to log? Deadhead says, Come on and do

it all the way to get out and run all the protesters. Well, how do you think is I

got so weird he look, he listened to so much grateful dead.

You know, I I do want to say, though I have been doing that new Jeff Bezos workout. Have you guys seen What is Podd? My Bezos? Yeah. Yeah. You take injections of plastic into your body so that you become an action figure. It's

not really a workout. It's a it's a medical regime.

Yeah, you have to shave. You have to shave all your hair and get rid of all the natural parts of your body. But But once you inject enough plastic, you just become a doll.

And now how did you

bring your psycho son with you to all award shows, of

course. And how exactly

do you dio does the workout achieve that sort of chin constantly, almost attached to the neck and, like, full smile and every picture? How does it do that?

I think it's the plastic. I'm not really sure. I think it's the plastic

that Sam, just by looking at you, it does look like you're maybe mixing those injections with human growth hormone or steroids.

You really? You look a little

bit like Hellboy.

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I

do look like how

clicks the sunburn really helps. Honestly.

Exactly. And and the only reason that my face is so red is because of the sunburn. But then also the plastic and the H G h. So it's all through your doing? A pretty vicious. That's why I have the two big bumps on the forehead. Oh, yeah, those air h g h bumps. Um, and they're helpful.

Sam is there. Is there anything deeper to ah, the idea that you are now basically trying to just completely look exactly like an act exactly like two different other people, right? now? No. With with Kravitz and basis, it seems a little bit like your disassociating with yourself.

A lot of people are saying that I hate myself, that I try to eat my own body, that I want to be anybody but me that I want to just be a new person, have a new body, change out a natural body for a plastic body.

Right? And when you say a lot of people say that you were caught on tape saying that backstage with a hot mic, I

wo we should get into

Wait, What? Everybody was doing the hot might prank. I thought, Oh, Todd and I were doing that

way. All, of course, did have a hot mic moment at graduation,

But we were We were all miked without our knowledge. And then the mike was bumped. I can't believe I don't have.

We all hired the same sound guy, too, and we often we still felt for it.

Where was pranks? Pranks, Right, Frank? They'll hire pranks, pranks, Frank's pranks. Yeah, the prank family. They're They've ended up falling into a profession based on their last name.

I didn't know if there's a chicken or the egg situation. If when they came over on Ellis Island, You know, they're like, what do you do? And they're like, we prank people. Uh,

you're right. Yeah, it was. It was yet was like we were talking with many pig last week. It was a last name job situation, because they, um they punked Frankie Muniz is, um, a great great grandfather on Ellis Island. They made him think that his order was burnt. It wasn't Francis painted. Black

breaks have changed a lot over time. Of course, sir. Francis munis. It arrived starving from the long boat ride. Ordered

Francis immune as it.

What was it? What it Sir

Francis Muniz star in in the old country?

Um, it was

a young man in the middle. Right?

My young mind in the middle. That's

also large, overweight, non truth teller, um, with, uh, with with Paul Giamatti,

Jamadi s and

switcher eight. Actually, I've known Jamadi since the 18 hundreds. That's right. Podd risky. Um, well, yeah, we all had a hot mic moment. Maybe we'll play him through the episode. Maybe not. Listen up in here. I

guess we should actually officially start the episode after After this mountain. You just

You wanna do You wanna kick it, Howard, For him? I would love it if you go. Did I just did it kick when I asked you if you want to get Oh, sorry. Damn, I was trying their I really was trying

here. Listen, editor, stop the song, Howard. Okay, take it away.

Oh, my God. All right, well, tell me about the outlying.

My best friends

cried can cry.

Let's do it again. Editor one. Let's get a clean one. Howie, this is your shot.

Dry it up.

I did not know what it is important to him. Okay, you know, things just kind of funny to you your whole life. And then you find out it's been so important to somebody else.

Can you turn away? I don't like the focus that can you turn away

from a cry? Yes. I always just keep filming. I've always turned away from anyone crying near me. Don't

forget. And and

three what? Kick it, Please. Gentlemen, welcome to another final. If you have your

sad, I'm just years years of frustration pouring out here. Oh, a little bit of blood on that call.

Wow. Howard having a very physical reaction to this first moment of happiness. I think

Levi's in German loaded, their percentage teach. He's almost become more

unhealthy. Only my guess. Getting his way issues relevant to someone dies. OK, hates it would retreat him good.

My Levi's Howard Levis of your biology teacher from Furnished By my whole life, I feel like I've been control of the episode. I'm here with my best friends Bill Cravy served seizures and your teacher Spanish teacher in your and your basketball coach. It was a year with San weather in who has years of tears away, out student government and he'll sore. SOS stood, does driver's head and then also here with Todd Tadre, who is mostly a great guy. And I've never said that right now. And maybe I don't mean maybe I'm overcome with emotion, but the news a

week hold him up holding up his knees. There we

go. I agree to his knees. I'm here, Todd, Padre, he grated cheese out. Lock him up, put it, but wrap his knees. He's a drama, all

right, that's enough of that nonsense. That's enough of that nonsense. But now it only awesome that was That's enough.

Todd sounding is exactly like his father here in this moment,

you have no idea.

I'm fine. I'm playing crying. Is not

Todd crying now? Todd? Todd crying, saying You have no idea how much I'm like my own father.

Oh, years of a motion boring out of time, Todd. First moment of vulnerability on Google. Now we'll know also every

time I get on stage. Well, no defensive again.

Hey, pacing back and forth So I had to give him some sort of rest mint, but it's only making it

worse. He's crying,

but also defensive. Oh, yeah, Just so it's enough. That's enough of that. But

these are gonna get it. Levi's a God locked his knees at rapid traffic. Police base bandages off. Howard, put him on talks. Wait, No, I need those. My friends were crying. No!

Oh, God damn it Anyway, all right. It was horseshit.

Wasn't horseshit. Todd. That was you experiencing emotion, and it's OK. It's OK.

Ok, thank you.

Oh, no. He said it's okay. Twice. I think he's crying

just here in the world. Okay. Got eyes. Tons. He's gone.

Just passed me Todd Bandages. Todd, I always have to pick up the pieces here,

Bill. Help us for the first time. Help us, Bill. You'd only I always health. I think this

one moment of pressure using all of Bill's pent up frustration having to hold all of everybody else's pain.

I could only contain my own emotions. When one person balls around me, I'm gone. The ground crowd is like a drug. It's like every Sam's bandages, exit bandages. Mike Airman Trout. Do something. Okay, Thank you. Wait. He's leaving. Thank you. My He's leaving.

No. When you tell my care been tried to do something, He usually goes and kills somebody.

Don't kill Lenny Kravitz.

I'm going to go get some braces. Oh, and hey, Mike, go drop off your granddaughter somewhere, OK? Don't just bring her around all the time. Wherever I go, she goes, I don't care. Get her out of here. We talk about crazy shit in the room. I'm not gonna censor myself.

Yeah, I never have. Never will

owe everybody. Let's all just keep it. Teoh

wish. Thank God. An image. I think Emma trouts going to get us two by fours and rope tie around our thighs and can

good. I need a splint for my legs. All

right, Let's just keep it together. We took

you. Doesn't get two guys caught up in a little chat at the true value before I'm stuck there for a while.

Oh, my God. You know. Ah, that guy who looks like a beautiful fish is that actor is better. Call Saul. Yeah, He looks like a big, beautiful fish

bread idea. You don't know. He's

a Salamanca. Easa. Saleh Maki. Looks like a big, beautiful walking pace. Why, you're

talking about the big box. You're talking about the big box?

No, not powering her. No, no,

not him. I got the guy.

The one whose dad owns the upholstery shop. Can't remember

these big, beautiful fish Guys, we have

a lot to talk about. Obviously, we, uh, we have yet Teoh, uh, the words never came out of her mouth, But congratulations to the class of 2020. We never actually got around to saying that at the graduation night, uh, your last thing to this later, like, yeah, we got last long.

We were I will say we were just about to get to the students names.

Yes. Yeah, and marching them out from there. Holding area way. Almost got to that part

flying them in. Obviously,

it was it was probably our fault. We said that the graduation obviously was gonna be half half about the kids, half about us. We decided to get our part out of the way before we started the kids part, which was May wanted. Wrong idea. It was maybe the wrong idea that we put ourselves first, but I thought what we did for the first time for the ceremony was nicely beautiful, beautiful. Aside from the how Mike moments,

hot mic moments were tough, but other than that, went off without a head.

Got a halftime show? Yeah, I didn't know all the words to American woman, but I knew I knew American woman. Yeah, your health. Oh, are

somebody will Somebody pulled off my shirt and showed my pierce nipple, which that was tough.

Well, that was a wardrobe malfunction, right?

It waas,

I think as a society we got to talk about how hanzee, Timberlake, iss

wake ruffle all of our share. I agree,

and we get banned. It's like he pulled the shirt. Yeah, I'm getting banned for having tits

100%

People love him. Bring it all back the omelet

ville like it's That's just so that absolves everything you dig in a boss is many bras and shirts as you want as long as once a year You go to SNL and you scream Bring it on back the omelet ville are bring it on and I'm let Yeah, I have it Yeah, yeah, it's it's basically his That's his To

remind a guy If you're funny, you're you're a good guy.

Yes, If you are cooler and more famous than comedians you'll be in stuff forever because they think for a second that by knowing you, it makes them better. Uh, so we'll be seeing Timberlake and Jon Hamm on our deathbeds doing comedies. Okay, I don't care if we've never laughed. They'll be there

indefinitely on our deathbeds, cause I'm definitely dying before those two guys that are older than me. That's what

that is. When you see a comedian with a handsome actor, it's a comedian going. See, I'm him, too.

Yeah, I'm with her. I'm waiting. It is what the community and

decided to wear that night. They're a little more dressed up

right, Riel. Cool. Jacket on.

You have seen the comedian in a bomber jacket or they're hanging out with Jon

Hamm. Yeah. Flipped up collar comedian next to Jon Hamm. You ain't him? You a ham?

We all know how were tried. And that was that period of time where Jon Hamm re became a version for two weeks because he was close to you.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that people said that. He said he went to the doctor and the doctors. The doctor questioned him and said you had sex before, and it never happened to him before. And he'd been hanging out with me, obviously, because I it wasn't like because I was successful or becoming an actor or anything. We actually just met each other way. Met each other at a at a at a ah, bookstore. Ah, where he was buying, I think gift for his daughter or niece or something. I had never really talked to him. I never We never. Our relationship wasn't deep. I kind of just sort of tagged along.

Well, that was an erotic bookstore, right?

So needs to find erotic it. Define ironic. No fighter are you Define the store

hard. Hard? Well, I mean, okay, it were some of the books. A little bit naughty. Did they have crust words? And, uh, did they talk about

just cuss word genital books? So it was It was medical journals that were that were, like, kind of haphazard.

Obviously thinks is your fucking dick. You guys down

here on your fuckin I was Damn,

It was the part of my life where I was thinking about starting a book. Siri's That was like it was like teaching for dummies. But it was called Teach teaching for dumb fucks. And it was just gonna be a teaching book where it was just kind of laying like, Hey, give him some fucking homework. Hey, tell him to sit their ass down in their little chair. Uh, you want some recess? Each shit like that. It was, like just six sort of phrases that you would say is a teacher, but started 31

Says each cut on. Yeah, judges started saying that in the courtroom.

Yeah, I learned how toe I learned how to sketch from your book. Drawing from motherfuckers drawing for motherfuckers taught me how to sketch out its stuff

Yeah, and a lot

of people

say I should have stuck to that. I shouldn't come back to teaching, but my heart just wasn't in it, OK? I was trying to be a bad boy. You guys know I go through phases where I go

from being from those books way we're doing it for the heart I spent I spent like,

$50 on ah Web design for rat bastards.

And Todd, I'll tell you this, Alta, I'll be the 1st 1 to tell you wasted your money. I do not know CSS or C plus plus or whatever the hell, The way the language. Yes. Think they're funny. They think they're funny. So they read him because it was just like

I don't know, Put

some html in there, you dumb shit! Help you shit hole.

Well, I'll tell you what I read cooking for pussies and it did not help.

Well, it was pretty massage in in that would almost come out that would almost didn't come out. You'll notice that that was self published because my editor turned it down. T publish Self printed, yeah, self printed, self written, self printed. I just I sat down with my really nice handwriting, Which takes me a long time. And I I hand wrote a few copies of that one. Cooking

wise I like when you

started switching it up. And you did fucking for gentlemen. Yeah, you start doing filthy or topics,

big guy serpent. Because I was like, I'm missing half of my demographic here. I'm missing hat. I'm missing sweet fellas. Okay, so I'm gonna take a thing that's normally really crass and gross, and I'm going to make it nice. And sweets,

I did learn a couple of good things from intimidation for butlers.

Right specific. That was very specific. Uh, no, it wasn't about cuss words wasn't about being nice. It was just about sort of changing attitudes. When your butler after

that book came out, I will say, uh, I had been I got bullied. Ah, lot in fancy neighborhoods. Those butlers were out of control,

Which good for them. OK, say everybody out there. If you're in the service industry, treat customers or your employer like

shit. I gotta wedges from a man named Mr Bentley in East Pasadena. Oh, my God. It hurt.

He was really going for the pain not just the embarrassment. Very intimate. Oh,

yes. There's a whole chapter. Machain Pain first

lifted up. He put you on a door, right?

He put me on a door, which I stayed on for a couple of weeks during a very busy time in this house. It was, I think, a family reunion. People coming in, out and out.

Hello. I'm up here, right? How?

Doorframe. And making sort of a bell sound every time the door would open.

Yeah, but the cool thing was, I was scouted by circus Ole and they brought me in to do a high fly wedgie routine. Yes, it just ruined my crotch. But I did make a couple 100 grand that summer, and

everybody should go see bully In Vegas, it is. It is all high school bully moves, but in like, a nice That's French Way.

How do you spell it? It's like b u l e e

Yeah, e

how many's on the

over the last one? So it's infinities. Then it's infinities, infinity's and yeah, that was a beautiful show. I mean, they really found a way to take high school bullying and and bring it to the next level your your hour long swirly was one of the most artistic things I've ever seen.

Your home Isn't

that awesome? It was Isom. It was show freeing for me. Ah, yeah, I remember once. Uh, do you all remember the stole my lunch money routine? How could I forget? Worse? Yeah, that was really something For May they would come up and just still my lunch money and then throw me 40 yards into and

and you're sort of dressed like a little baby. And they're all dressed in big giant costumes with oversized heads.

Big wide shoulders. It's for everything's heightened perfectly. Um, and everybody pays 6000 seat. Um, what about

the principle? Principle is so good.

The one little impotent member of the cast who comes on Yeah, costume. No Big head. Just was a method

for injector name on re. And he was unbelievable. One of the best clowns, classically trained French clown.

Clowning is lawful for the modern age. I think it's I think it's what we need.

And if you think the artist great, wait till you hear the conversation you have with the actors who are clowns. It's much better is It was awesome. Ah, bully was nice, but yeah, without the a lot of our bits went off without a hitch. Yeah,

yeah. Obviously the the big complaint we've mentioned, which is we didn't get to the students. We never said, you know, the graduation thing. Uh, we never flipped to the tassels to the other side way, did we? Already cutting of the ponytails, which was nice thing.

Everybody wanted to see that they got, I

think a such as they protested.

I think they were. Then what is? You have to

protest, but you know, you want to see it

every every step. Dad in the crowd, we cut his ponytail off. Ah,

which, honestly, that's great. Because a lot of the kids and a lot of the kids in here who have the stepdad's, they have sort of always looked at their step. Dad, is this, like, sort of stoic, very like, sort of important figure. And this was a non opportunity for these kids to sort of see their stepfather in emotional distress.

When I think it was, it was humanized them. Unless you have thought about it a little more cause the stepdad's are really the ones who have stepped in and helped all these kids. We should have cut off real dad's ponytails. You run an attendant.

Well, we would love to if we could find him.

Yeah, unfortunately, their heart deformed. Oh, I can't. All right, Good. I'm by getting

out of here. Get your granddaughter out of here.

She's If I'm here, why

does she always come in first?

You have lived a terrible life of crime and murder. Being nice to a nine year old doesn't make you good. Now.

I thought that redeemed may. Okay, I'll leave.

Thanks for the security, Mike.

I can't believe those stepdad's It did

turn out to be sort of Ah, that did give them their strengths because they would fall to the ground any time you took their hair. Like in the Bible. What's that guy's name? You hair man?

There's a story. Samson, of course, gets all his power from his hair, his leg strength when he cut his hair off. But

then there's hair man who was, like, equal to Jesus.

Yeah, got cut out of the King James version, cause the people people said he was two. He was bigger than Jesus

will. His hair was definitely longer. And that's all I gotta say.

Hair man did way more miracles than Jesus folks. Courteous. Thank. How do you think? How do you think

you're walking on water?

Yeah, Hair man hair man.

I mean, do you remember the scene of hair hair man riding on his horse in the Palestine and everybody go. And here, man doth ride through in the town dust here.

Of course, we remember that Jesus rolled

in right after hair man and was like, Whoa, everybody loves me. It's like, No, this was for helmet chairman. They threw down those palm fronds for hair man. Jesus

and Jesus is the Last Supper

was not thrown for Jesus. And that was their man.

That was that was supposed to the hair man's big supper. And Jesus comes in.

We'll talk about revisionist history. Jesus did not have long locks. No, this was and he took.

He took the hair from here because he

saw how much everybody listened to hair man.

Yeah, and I'll say this. I think it's very it's it's wrong that there that they have sort of Jesus sort of did like whatever Chairman could do. I could do better. When he met Mary Magdalene, it was actually because, uh, hair man had met Harry. Marry who? Waas was another woman named Mary who had intensely long hair washing her Cravy tense lately. And instead of washing your feet hair man washed her hair with feet. Yeah, there, man.

First he was the first, um, hairstylist with a big e big ego in Damascus. He had

he had a usual on billboards everywhere. Intensely blonde, Do you think with the innkeeper here, man? Man, hair man. Why do you think all

of those sheep and Wiseman showed up to look at the hair? Who's comes to see a baby board? You come. You see intense hair

Because hair man also did did lamb shearing. That's why all the sheep came as well Because he did lamps here. And you think it was the only person in all of Jerusalem with with with years? Yeah.

For about 30 years there lambs and sheep looked so cool because of hair. And it

was he was, of course, crucified for his beauty. Yes, a

lot of jealous, ugly people crucified here, man,

and just pile it yet Go ahead.

Get that? I don't know anything else.

No punches, Pilot. Of course. Coma? Where? Jealous of hair. Man Had him crucified. Yeah,

Judas. Tell him why. Tell them

why Judas betrayed Jesus.

Bold e. Tell him.

Let him hear it from the top of the mountain.

123 Bold, Perfect For a part

time, You know, we're seeing all the way into the modern day. I mean, look at this guy in the frickin white house. He has the fake kissed hair man hair I have ever seen. Everybody knows he's bald.

It's been,

was his promise. That was one of his big promises going into the White House, which he has never, ever Ah, delivered on was being like hair man.

Well, he always said he was going to give America hair again. But

is it happening? Isn't how is he making America here again? I haven't

seen it. I start Well, I didn't need hair, but if I did, I certainly have insanely regrowth. Thanks a lot. I was wasted

by the way I was a huge fan of Obama's affordable hair act.

OK, I think we need him for all. He didn't

do everything obviously. But it was such a good start. And then Mr Bald comes in, tries to gut the affordable

hand. Do you guys

remember all those big ideas when we when? When? Back in the eighties. When True Trickle Crown. Yeah, Yeah, it was gonna be

I thought for sure. Here comes by hair back. Not that I

would need it, but mawr on the side. And

you know it's insane to me is that we had we had right in front of us the opportunity to nominate ah nominated new person who was gonna bring us healthy here for all you know what I mean? It's like it was right. There were healthy hair. Rawls was on the table, and we teach somebody way just amazing. You know, we just need to reform our hair. We don't need We don't need healthy hair

for us. He's gonna end up taking on most of those hair policy. I

like Bill said, You know, I've been pushing hard for hair on the side, getting hair like how we get our milkshakes. We have so much hair on the top and we want that little extra tune of hair on the side and

absolutely, yes, we were mental cup. You'll see

the Metal Cup posters at most of the rallies. We want Metal Cup and people like, What does that mean and

way Say, that means more hair on the sides.

Little cup, just like the milkshake. We

want mawr hair on the sides. Do you get

out. You get 20 to our heads

were knocking on there's like Biff Todd. Well, as you could tell by the content of the conversation, we are We're ready for this to be done. We're ready.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's final for us now. It feels it feels like we're we've sort of put a period on the sort of sentence of our time at Hamilton, which is honestly, I never thought I'd see the day. Honestly, I've been Tin Jered for for so long that I'll be here till I die. But, you know now

And I think we've answered the question just fine. Can they work here?

Yeah. Yes, they can. I mean, I've been walking around the ah, the grounds here, kind of reminiscing. I'll do a walk and a There was a little closet I lived in. Um, when I was an ostrich for a little while. Ah, that I made my home and there's a bunch, a bunch of holes in the ground of the playground that I would sleep my head in. And I've definitely been kind of just reminiscing. Walking around. Yeah,

I don't even the same bill. I've been doing the same. I went to the side of my first crash the other day.

Car still there, right

car? Still there? Absolutely. It was bronzed. It was bronzed as a lesson

was based in broad of

what to never do. And, uh, you know, it's a if I

bring schoolchildren around to it now to show them the dangers of driving

while your driver's instructor Yeah, yes. So it's

been I know we've just come

so far, you know, to see that first moment immortalized and to realize I'm not even

here anymore. Yeah, there's a small area that still admitting, um, some, uh, what's it called radio radio activity from when you blew up the moat around the and that's we go there and sometimes I put

my feet in some of the other day, I I went in and I put my feet in the motor way they got. You

know what radioactive means, right? Yeah. Like you shouldn't be putting your feet in

their weight. Did get rid of your athletes, foot Sam. But it also turned your pinky toe sideways. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's your stinking toe now is technically a corn.

Technically, it has changed from toda corn, but we're hoping to keep it there were hoping we're hoping that it stays that corn and doesn't move well or in

dimension. If there's anybody who needs to be careful with eating their own body if all your toes turn into corn, be careful.

I'm worried for both of us, Bill, because I know that you're obsessed with corn. And I know that obsesses in my own feet.

I have been licking my lips, staring at your little fucked up baby toe. What? In that corner. And I am obsessed.

I know. You know what I think we gotta do, fellas? I think of course, the school loves us. And we love the school. We've gotta love ourselves. We gotta take ourselves out to a little feta dinner.

Hey, I've been saying it for I've been saying since the day I met you three, I think we should do. Ah, teacher dinner after work. After hours, we go out, we get a little wild, have a couple little drinks. Uh, well,

you have been trying to get a dinner with us since we met.

Right? What I was saying is that I had an idea that we should get fetus

right for heat is as long as it's the four of us. And and we're also no

upper restaurant. Could handle four for heat is to the same table it would cause. We're

probably gonna have to call policy, call some some security support for sure. Just just to watch the other patrons in the restaurant.

I mean, talk about a class issue. If there's four BA heat is setting on a table, everybody in the restaurants immediately becomes Pez. It's really

can't see anymore. They can't see anymore. They're in a cloudy room. All of a sudden, they know they're eating substandard food because whatever this is just came out. They're probably still tortillas.

We've had we had it have had it and continue to have it so good to sometimes. Do you guys feel like we should share some of our peppers and onions and give

back to the community. I will say the most frustrating part about if a heated dinner eyes often there is too much veggie, not enough chicken. And so we do normally have left over for heat of veggies after the worst of it is that we make, uh,

do you guys eat vegetables?

No, no, I'm saving them for my kids.

Right. I usually I'll take. I mean, the vegetables are useful. Just not us food. The other day, I had had a wobbly table on. I took him What? Two of the peppers out, And I stuck another one of the foot of the table. It was perfect.

Oh, yeah, I hadn as much does. Whiffed a vegetable.

In 11 years, I've been using the fajita vegetables for my aquarium. You know, Teoh visually kind of. Give it some sauce.

Todd, you said before you save the veggies for your kids, do you consider the animals in your aquarium? Your Children?

Those were my babies. Yeah. Those are my kids, the animals,

the animals in your aquarium. I should be in there.

It feels

like you know, it's a It's a beach scene. So I got all sorts animals in

there, mostly land animals.

There's a big snake that I think it's a water snake

and they're not strong

swimmers, Okay? These are my Children we're talking about. So why don't you watch your mouths real quick and Yeah, I've got a beach scene in the aquarium. I got the snake. Or get the pig. Got all the pretty horses, uh,

family of 3 to 10 taking a picture in the dunes up there.

You have got a 10 family in my aquarium. Um, and they're all my little kids. You know, uh, and it's a once you get one because it starts with one, and you go, Oh, this is nice. And it was something to focus on,

you know? First, what was the first thing in your aquarium?

A beta. A beta male.

Not you're not saying a beta fish. That was

a male. No, no. Sorry. Not a behind a veil. Beta Ah mei husband in cargo shorts. He was sitting. He was sitting kind of slumped over in a in a Macy's in the chair next to the dressing room.

And maybe he's, like, funny, but quiet. Yeah,

yeah, it is just not gonna cause any trouble, even if it makes everyone around him his life worse.

And what do you feed him?

Beta male, Uh, people's

leftovers, right? He eats other. That what the people did didn't finish. It is table

just Yeah, he's not picky. Just whatever. He's easy. Leftover macaroni and cheese and a couple of like chicken tenders.

Do you show? How many does he have? Any favorite shows? You show him or what? Is he watching TV?

Um, whatever you're in the mood for.

Well, I'm glad you're following your passion. I mean, you've wanted to have animals in an aquarium for so long.

Yeah, well, I guess this is, you know, as we're leaving this world, um, of teaching. I've been thinking a lot about what worlds I'm gonna move into. You know, obviously it's a good opportunity to pursue my film. Um, that I've been working on my masterpiece. Um, which is Todd in the jungle on? Uh, is that like George of the jungle? There's some crossover, but it SSM some Well, you know, we both run into trees by accident a lot. OK, so it's a comedy. No, no, it's a heavy drama, and it's all the jungles of metaphor. Obviously, eyes

the noise that Todd makes in this your script.

It's involuntary, but it's the same as anyone would make when they run into tree. It's kind of like a

Oh, so it's not when

he's swinging, it's what he runs into a tree. It's subtle, subtle.

Did three character Todd silently swinging through the jungle and then making that noise as he hits the tree.

And it's a truly yours. He's never swing on purpose. It's always a fall where he grabbed to find

Yeah, yeah, it's Ah, because it's all just riel footage of me traveling through a jungle, right, trying or even falling and luckily grabbing of I'm so your

upper body strength really comes into the opposite of handy.

Yes, my upper body strength comes into footy for sure.

Well, it's your upper body strength is there, but your lower body weight is so low that it really makes

you at that. I mean you. I mean,

you know,

stuff. You're lighter than a skeleton.

Yeah, yeah. Cup of dust weighs less than you.

That's right. Yeah. Ah, a couple of dusty, please. West Guinness of course. Warning light is this skeleton stiff is a board.

Well, there were distract.

Unfortunately, they weren't referring to downtown. What stiff is a board?

Unfortunately, did you try that? That's

got its own record. Correct.

Softest road softest. Uh, they said it

was like, um, it's like a plopped out. Ah, Jell O cup. Is that correct?

Oh, that was a little too firm.

There's a side by side picture all night. Side by side, minds blurred out. But in the Guinness Book, there's the Jello. Competence has imagined genitals. By the way, when you all go on dates, just check to make sure it's a real date and not Guinness trying to see your Johnson so that they can put it in the world record, but

totally tone. And you've been tricked multiple times at that.

Yeah, obviously that's how you two disappointing sex.

You keep

going on dates to the stall at Olive Garden.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's where they want to meet up. That's what this stall is. Are you talking about the stall? You talk about the bathroom stall or the waiting place with the vibrating thing? Okay. Yeah, Yes,

yes, yes. Well, I do quickly want to bring up. And I think this is just a coincidence. Um, but during our our without a hitch ceremony, um, the line at Burger King did hit very long honking of horns. Line is coming down

by the school.

So there's been suggestions that someone employed at Burger King thought they could run the graduation and also run the drive thru over zoom, Uh, which

if to live of ass. Way to bring up. Yeah. I didn't want to bring up you disappearing multiple times during the graduation, coming back with a little note pad with stuff written on it, swamped in the weeds, if you will.

And and let let's just say that we don't have to talk about it. But the hot mic moment for you Todd was related to this.

This Would you like fries with that debacle?

Yeah, which Not much of a debacle. I think everybody kind of understood exactly what was going on. It was a debacle only in name alone from you.

I was not taking a Burger King order. I talked to myself when I have bathroom problems, and that's what it That's what I'm standing by. is the hot mic issue. Was me having bathroom problems?

What bathroom problem led to you saying the phrase? Would you like fries

of protest? That's what I say when I'm trying to coax something out of my body. You know, I don't want to get disgusting with it, but I'll say, Hey, would you like president? I'm talking to the toilet in the fries. Obviously. Might do. Do

you have to play a little game with toilet? Yeah, it's what lies in your play. You

have to convince the toilet. You have to convince yourself that the toilet wants your proof before you'll let yourself do

it. True for Todd, because a couple his his poops

air so gross sometimes. Ah, toilet will close up

its mouth. Toilets or sentient? Yeah, they're just really willing.

Yeah. I mean, I have to sometimes dress up with someone else so a toilet doesn't think it's me coming s I could trigger a pilot.

That must be really hard for you, Todd. I'm so

sorry. Thank you. Thank you. So

I believe you. But it's a lot of things lined up to where the, um is the conspiracy theory. It it does make sense that you work it. Burger King. Okay. I don't

know why you guys want to get me all the time with this Burger King thing, all right? It's

nice. Want you to be want you to understand that we wouldn't judge you if you did, Todd, we've all had a second job.

We judge you could be a liar, But not for

your Js. I'm not a liar. What second jobs have you all had before? I don't need one, because I'm an artist. My second job is my art. Um,

well, I have I now consider. Well, obviously I'm getting out of it. But obviously, I'm I'm continuing on with the beef diaper just because it didn't do well during the pandemic. Does it mean once Fauci gives us the vaccine, I'm not gonna be right directly in front of everyone on the country's door.

The beef diaper and quit be are the biggest so far. Corona virus failures besides government, the government, uh,

other than the

government being Ah ah ah. House of cards already. And it immediately folding upon ah, entering of a virus. The quick be. I feel terrible for Cravy Flippy and I actually partnering up, um, to get sympathy. Uh, from from

you guys apart around for what's called the last ditch effort, right?

Yes. And this is this Is the beef Kuiper riper? Yeah. That's a diaper that you can watch that you can use vertically or horizontally.

Exactly. It stays where you put it, Unless you want it 90 degrees the other way. So, I

mean, we're still working

on it. We're still working on it. But we were Both of our business models were heavily relying on transit people doing it when they were going to and from work, then. Ah, you know, obviously putting beef diaper underneath their meat on the train on the bus. You know, we're waiting in waiting rooms, catch a little.

Well, that's awesome. I'm glad you're excited to get back out there. I mean, the last thing we can do is quit, right? You know, when to another stage in our lives waited, just lay down.

And we made it clear that this retirement is not us quitting this This was not

just I don't know about

you guys. This is

us jumping off into the deep. It

even heard of the words forced retirement. Okay? Yeah. This is a jump off into the deep end,

and I just want to say for everybody that's been clamoring for it for the last six years. Crazy limos is opening back up eyes congratulate, allows. Thank you. Thank you. Absolutely.

That's interesting that we've come

to circle. You did a soft open yesterday. And you I mean, we haven't said this yet, but you're in a lot of casts and and scrapes and stuff today.

Yes. Thank you for setting Mike right here. I appreciate that. Yeah, it was the first. It was re inaugural was the re inaugural ride. And I pulled out of the driveway and, ah, t boned my own limo that I had parked along the driveway, and I had forgotten about it. And the t bone out on off me and the cars

specially that. Does it make sense? Your part? We've parked one, uh, limo on the edge of your driveway. And you, How do you pull out in T Bone that? Did you just take a hard left before you got to the end of the driveway?

My Because crazy limos is opening back up. I bought the limo before I got the storage space. So my whole cold a sack Ali is lined with limos. Tip to tip. And I forgot that I parked in front of my own driveway on accident. So I backed out fast, like I always do, and I just t boned right

into it. And then but at least I hit with

the trunk, which was fine. But then the airbag hit my face, and that shattered my head.

And because you put it there, you further back there, back

through through the partition and into

the trunk, your airbags air calibrated a little heavy.

Oh, yeah? You want full strength airbags? You actually get him bumped up a little.

These air military greater

these air, the air bags. They used to, uh, to shoot Osama out of the helicopter.

Thes Well, these air these air repurposed airbags, I should say their military grade airbags now, But they were torture guns. Torture bag. Yeah. Yeah,

that's so No, no. Do we feel

like I know you're you? The language you're using is we are opening back up. We are fully open. Don't worry. We are open. Were fully back up in 100% my leg. You. Do you feel like the virus being that this is cramming people into an even smaller space than we thought of? Actually, they're being raucous and talking louder.

He thought about the or fund we didn't want, like one whole family to get sick in the limo. So what I'm doing is picking up one member from multiple families and driving them around town separately. So I pick up families from 10 12 20 houses. Then I cram, as many of them is, is I can. That way they'll get the limo experience without having at their face.

That's actually seems to be more dangerous. I don't know. Your name is going to be a

prima lee. It's almost a perfect way to spread.

Well, I do have ah, travel sized pure L in the back.

Flawless? Yes, he has crossed out in your advertising. You crossed out. There's popcorn in the back. And now there's loose bureau in the

There you go. So who's Yeah, Well, travel size. I squirted out a travel size

travel size amount. It should say, a travel size amount.

No, I couldn't. I was paying by the letter.

Uh, I say, Hey, Sam, it's It's great that you're Ah, you're you've come full circle back to your first love, which is being bad driving. Yeah, and it's interesting. I feel like scared of driving. Okay? Sure. Scared translates to bad at, I think, in your case. And there's not something to be ashamed of. You'll get better someday. Hopefully on.

Well, hair man says no need to be scared. All you need is the hair is true.

For that is Chairman of the Book of Hair Man, There's a bunch of different books. Book a hair man is one of the look

of moose s M O U S s. Yes. Yes. I love that. Um, it's a little bit, uh, crispy. I would say that become moves.

I agree. It's a little it feels a little synthetic for me.

Yeah, I was I was reading one of my favorite versus is ah, ST Conditioner to 13. And as we all know, what, we can say it together right now. Um, a soft hair is a hell. Hell, the air. And I'll say how

The Book of conditioner to 40 Assad Terrors of healthy hair.

Yes, ST Conditioner to 23 or four. Let's

not forget about State do 36 way Dio. That's a clean plain. There is

a good hair and that's the bottle. I she oh said so posted, So

Oh, I have a different version.

Yeah, I I've got the w w s.

Oh, yeah, There's this inherent Mac, right? Yeah.

Oh, my God. I love the book. A hair man in there, man. Bible it It's a shame it's coming so close to the end.

It's really is what made me come back to Christianity. Thesis Christian inanity, folks. This'd is I left it for a while and then I read the book Hair Man, and I said, What was I

thinking? Yeah, I mean, born three of conquering

three of car Grix conquering your fears. Howard, uh, did I see you go home with a special someone after graduation?

Yeah, Our did go home with a little special. Somewhat we saw.

True, obviously. Obviously, I mid mid ceremony, I got a little peckish, so I went to the contest concession stand, and I got a hot dog the way that I like it. Uh, mustard mustard on the bond. Uh, and so I was talking Teoh? Uh,

no, Doc. She's mustard on the bus.

Yeah. No, don't No, no, no dog. Just mustard on the bun. It's mustard sandwich. Ah, and I was talking Teoh Margaret, who was running the concession stands so kindly. Ah, and

we really hit it off.

Honestly, she said she was a big fan of my mayoral campaign. She she said it really

well heard it wasn't part of your Hotmail apart. This was part of a hot mic mistake.

Ah, and it was pretty hot mic. And I, of course, left the ceremony early with, and I did not realize that my Mike had been on the whole time. So I got a ride home with Margaret. Ah, and I was honestly pissed at the range on this level, ear and what we drove had to been seven or eight miles, and they they still recorded every moment of my entire interaction with Margaret.

It's the law. It's all the sounds set up from cheaters

I think they recorded, but they piped it into the stadium. I mean, they're out hurt.

If you're the

sound man, this one's going out to the sound man. If you If you see something going on like this? You hear something going on like this? Meet me. Goddamn. It

turned. He turned down everything else. The stage, My

incredible. I will at least mix.

Everybody in the town knows your story line. So when you are with a woman alone in a car, were pipe in it in and weigh

set in the stadium. You know that moment when you're dropping someone off at the end of the day and you don't know if you're supposed to kiss him, but you keep the conversation going. You sat stadium for six hours as you kept bringing up things to talk about session with

Well, I think well, and the biggest, the biggest problem for me was once, once I was in the situation, we were at her house. It was she very directly said, like, I'm very attracted to you. I think you're very sweet. Um, I also haven't had sex in a while. Uh huh. And I said, you too. Ah, And that was a moment of connection. We both that way. Both hold connected on how long it had been since we had sex. Her. It had been since her last relationship. Me? It had been my whole life. Should we just play the tape? People have already heard. I really need to hear the take the preamble I want

to hear. I don't know if I want to hear Howard a man. I wanna blow it, but climaxing Well,

well, we don't have to hear that part of it.

We can cut before a climax. Unless you say the part, we're gonna hit pause the moment before I climax. Okay? Because I don't want anybody to hear my own noise. Uh,

yes. Okay, So we're gonna hit pause right before. I mean, like, right before he has a rock as well as possible. Okay, so let's listen. Listen, Atlas boy

had a really, um, Had a really fun time today. Okay? Okay. We did stop it. Right?

But yeah, way didn't play the six hour preamble. Right? But we post it right in for Howard. Howard.

Was that technically sex? Well, I

at that point, I, uh she had unbuttoned my pants, uh, and and just was reminding me of the nice night that she had, and

I have few. It unbuttoned. She is. But she was

saying that Yeah. You had a

large button fly, right?

Yeah. Six months, Which is which is at least two more than every pair of Levi's. I should have been wearing a pair. Levi's. Uh oh.

Shut up to Levi's super button fly for people who, like Teoh, almost pissed their pants every time they go to the bathroom.

Do you need to plan 10 minutes before you pee? Get these pants?

Um but yes. Oh, yeah. She honestly, what I realized is the thing that I find attractive is someone just, uh there The thing I find arousing is somebody telling me that they enjoy my company and its paws. Paws? Yeah. Yeah, I should that Sam,

we shouldn't have done that. Why? Dio? Yeah, it was a mix between Do do, dilute do the normal

on any day or more

points you all please stop hitting play. It's really This is embarrassing. We've all heard it. We've all heard much more You

have all hard it that I mean

play we the people it goes right into constant shape was that I am most speeches Is the market speaks with that

is that the turn on this wall

had some point hit a speed play. I want a flat. Oh,

my God. Kravitz.

Yeah. Jealous Sam. You call him Kravitz? Right away, huh?

What do you need to see my little Dong? Hang out? You need to see it pop out of the middle. Wanted to see a plop American woman trying over here. Call me. You know what? Forget I don't have to be a part of this anymore. You lost your

virginity. Howard is

going to be fair. That was the first time that I claimed

I wanna see you dance cause Stone My act is that Whose speech is that?

That high constitution Bill? Yeah. It's more of the Constitution

that you want. Todo whose

wrote that part? Adams. That's Adams. He's also Mama making her dance

for sure. Yeah. Listen, I did come to the first time and then And then she said it was very kind of her. She said, What can you keep going? And I said I think so. I have never gotten this far before.

Lay! Hey, stop it! Stop it! Stop!

So this is obviously when I ran, kun ran away with your pants.

Yes, yes, yeah. Was that part of the climax.

No, that was in between. We were It was in the midst of us talking about whether I could keep going and Iraqi game, and it came

nowhere in the stadium. Kind of putting two and two together. Here is we're here in this pipe, Dan, you're gonna hear your feet pattering down the street chasing a record for what we think. 25 30 minutes.

30. We can I'm gonna fast forward past that place.

Oh, thank you, God. Hey, don't do that again, okay? I'm serious. Don't argue. Don't you argue with me.

So he was arguing with the

raccoon. It allows us to draw a little, a little, a little, a little bit of a little bit. Cool. Yeah. Okay. What do you want me to Dokubo through the most important moment of my life. Okay,

but this is, you know, having a tearful monologue to the record

forward. Yeah, man. Just so I don't know, I just don't have a relationship with my dad anymore.

They're getting, you know, and it's really frustrating, because if I had a role model in my life just to model no,

do it

to your partner. Stop talking to the raccoon. We were saying in the during graduation

you should be saying this to her. Maybe later in the relationship with my hands in front of her

fast forward a little bit. I think this comes in right in with him coming again.

Let me see your day. You have the right to remain silent. The right to an attorney. T o k e Oh, he writes e test

a little bit of the treaty of her side there towards the

end. Protest. Well, towered. I got to say thanks for letting us share this in giving us permission to

I'm humiliated. Howard. You're not a virgin

anymore, I guess. Technically, no. Ah, because that last one happened after some intercourse. Uh, not much intercourse.

That's OK. That's OK. When I first time was not much either,

but yes. Oh, honestly, I feel the same, though, and I think that that's the thing That's the most frustrating is that I thought that when this day came no pun intended that I would I would feel different, and I would feel I thought I would feel more.

Hey, just now, Howard doesn't mean you can start making all kinds of gross sex jokes. That's not Jesus.

I'm not

Rose. Rise above it. If it's gonna be dirty, it's got to be smart.

Yeah, you know, you're right. If I'm gonna talk about gross stuff, I got to do it like we did when we talked about how toilets eat

poop words. I think maybe this is a great realization is that you're you you are was not tied up into Well,

that's why I say I think this is a learning moment for all of us. And I don't I know that I was maybe a guinea pig. But I realized that the things that I have always wanted, which is to not be a virgin and not have my friends have that that card to play against me anymore. I realized the moment that that was fixed, I didn't feel better. And so I think all four of us could take that lesson into the future and realize the things that we think we want are not the things that we actually need. Total. For example, Podd. Yeah, very able. Todd. I don't think maybe you should try not not writing a play that's so close to your real life, you know, leaving your personal experience out of it. Like trying something that makes you sort of stretch a little bit more. You know that the thing the patterns we've all lived in for the last four years are not our maybe not what we need. The

eggs scowl on Todd's face.

What are

you talking about? Write what? You know. That's what I always yell at my students when they read me crack. You know, write what You know, Howard. It will make me happy once I find that inside part of myself. And I reveal it. I've gotten close, obviously, with the hair white B presents my conversations with the devil. Um, obviously, I got close with Hamilton the Todd Padre story. Uh, and I think George of the jungle will make me happy. Howard, I think our situation is different.

I don't know. I feel like we're all pushing. We're all pushing so hard to get that achieve this this weird ideal, and it is ruined our lives. You know, we spend so much time sitting here thinking about what's not good about our life. We

don't focus on the stuff that's right in front of us. All right.

I think you are totally right. I just think you're totally right. And that's why I know that all four of us are going to be more successful than we have ever been. As soon as we leave this school, the school has been holding us back its way around.

You know, they say they say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Okay. And we have spent the last four years doing the exact same thing every week. Almost beat for beat. Every single episode is exactly the same. And I think if we stop doing this, we will grow as people is all I'm saying, I think

I certainly hope so. I certainly hope so. But, Howard, I mean, whether we do whether we do or not, this podcast,

whether well, did you? We do. We're not Didgeridoo are not

this podcast that was built on us making fun of you for being a version. And without that, what do we really have here? What is the power dynamic now equals? How about that? I don't get it. No, you're not. I

just want to say You guys have been some of the best teachers and friends that I could have ever had. And this was better then my actual high school.

Oh, teaching at this school with you guys was better than being 16 and be a boy at high school. No, I am dreaming.

That's really nice to hear, but let's suck it up. All right? Sometimes you

let yourself feel

something to stop Todd him to stop.

No. You guys gotta let yourself feel something every day. That Okay, I think I think you know what? I've pent up my emotions for

both your knees or bumping into each other.

They don't worry together. Howard on lean on you and you lean on me, touch me camping.

Oh, no. There goes his legs. Getting Mike

get their grief. Lakes. No. God, Would you get the true value, Mike, did you even go? Or were you just hanging out? Getting quality timing with your granddaughter?

I needed to push her on the swings. That

Sam Sam Howard, that's enough

is enough. Two years.

Okay, Get Get it

together, Todd. Okay. If you don't have it, I got it happen.

Stop crying. We're going on a

road. Crear going

on a road trip. We're going toe. We're going to

Let's go, Tonto. Dad. Well, you know what? There's nothing. I'm in charge here. I'm in charge here. What is

your grandfather served in Omaha? We're going to go look at the fort he served in. And then we're gonna leave, and you're gonna love it because it's history. And it's how we remember

him. It's specific. I take this, I have to split. I have to get away from you. Guys have to swim. You are searching heart. All I ever did was bad place, trio offense. But what did he even do in Omaha? What kind of service do you need? It's just our country, right where they were stationed in over a heart resuscitation. There. Okay. My dad line. I think your dad just wanted to go home on for some other reason. I think he wanted to go to the College World Series. So my way did watch all the college baseball games. There is no Omaha base. Oh, you guys, I love you, but we have to split up. We have to try. I have to go. I'm in control. Yeah, we're all in control way. We remove ourselves from the situation and everything will be OK. Yeah. Remove yourself in the situation, guys. Before I go, I just got one thing to say to you guys. Okay? What? Just got one thing, and I think you know what it is. I'm not going to see you for a long time. Hey, wait. Okay,

So you so you you're cutting that all that just Mr. Editor, you're cutting all that other stuff out, right? And we'll just record one clean one. And this is the one you handed on, and we'll just say it's strong and good, and this will lead on. You'll cut the crime. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Here. We all right? There you go. 13 And Okay.

So what are we doing? Number down. Everyone

will use 321 and stay Flippy. Okay. Okay. For starting at three. Sam

e. I went in 323 Okay, starting on three. But I'm gonna do five to

three. That tone, setting the speed with four and five and then rolling into 3 to 1

on this show. Strength

way started way bigger than you said.

he said, In the temple of 543 53 was the point at us. Just point at us on one

one. Stay three end of the

cab about this, Mr Engineer will each will each give you one strong stay Flippy on our own timing. And then you can lay all three of them over each other with the magic of editing all four. All four. I assume mine would get left out because it always where's Sam at? Sam can go first, and then I'll go. And then Todd can go and then built to go. We just give a strong state Flippy, and then we'll just lamb over each other in post.

And we're just doing these

are normal good voices. Yeah, Sam, that's not your damn Okay, Well, when you any time you confidently stay Flippy. Sorry I'm late. Oh, it's my

Why did she walk right up to the mike?

You were so tentative around the mic for the whole episode. And then you go right into it

like every child's

folks. Just let it. He's gonna be in on this for their Just let a man that you want

to count. I know I'm gonna do my clean stay Flippy here, and, uh, and 32 stay. Flippy

Never done it that way before. So doing his emphasis was

wrong. But what is it

that way? Stay. Flippy did the emphasis on the ride, but it kid stays.

No, hang on. Sundays. We only get what it stays. Okay, fine. It stays okay. It's fine. It's fine. Needlework.

It'll Todd Padre reading for state Flippy. Uh, if you check my resume, I've also read for disgusting rabbit number three. You book that part? That's right. Recorded. All right. Hey there, guys and gals stay Flippy from the man himself. Todd the fucker! Padre.

How is

that gonna fit it? How is that?

Say the two words. Stay Flippy.

If you need to cut back, I I'll do a little bit more. I'll give you one just with accent in case you need it. Flippy either one of those.

Yeah, that was good.

All right, They'll just do it quick. Okay.

Step Flippy, stay. That was big, lad. E a big lad. Classic

crib. You just fib Latin. What's biglots? It was it, Mike. It

was Thanks. My Thank you. My trust you. Mike

We've never trusted her ass by Chairman Trout.

You know what? I

fucking quit. Goodbye. This is too hard. Goodbye. I quit.

No! Well, Podd guy,

I'm clean on there. Right. We got him clean

way got him clean.

You could go saying we got you clean.

Say I'm quitting. Or the engineer. Oh, So what was I think that was Sam? I don't know.

OK, that your

first time? Mr. Engineers ever said a single

word on this. Yeah, OK,

let's stay off the mic from here on out. Mr. Here is for the talent, Paul. For

my bill sales today. Flippy got damn it. Okay, just say it. Stay Flippy

stay bay. That was antagonistic.

It was like your TZ, you know where can

wear those in. That'll work.

What if

we just get one Group one? Let's just get one drink. When I came back, fuck off. I gave

way with big trouble.

You didn't quit. You're thirsty. Yeah. Let's do one for the group. Let's

do one with the group sounding a little more like Robert Durst.

All right, I'm

gonna dio one with the great from three everybody Ptolemy three b three trout. Do it It's fine. I don't give a shit as long as

Bill a German truck, both to it. I mean, absolutely. They

can and just do it normal, Bill, if you find yourself doing it normal, but then you think that you want to do it, We would stay normal for the little one. Although

I don't punch up the joke we've decided on for five years.

Okay, I'm gonna count it in. It'll be 3 to 1 will also stay Flippy and then we'll be done. Okay. Ready? Here we go. And three u

E I. Howard on Howard Large. I just need a

moment on Bill. Stay Flippy. He snapped and poked me in the eye.

Okay, Todd. Sassy, Sassy, Ambiguous as you went three

to one and then stay Flippy

and then let me. Here we go. We

have the one silent like in TV. Productive? Yes. What about the

two? I'll do. I'll know I'll

do. It was especially loud, very loud. So you know what? It's got

three care comes ready. Three,

two stay, I think

is a sandwich sandwich. Kurt,

I don't think we're gonna get better than that. Let's just fucking get rid of this

short, but that's it. Thank you, Mr Engineer. You don't say on the mic Regency.

Okay? Do you guys? Man, I really

appreciated all the work.

Mike is for talent. The Micah's for talent.

Yes, I'm for telling.