The Teachers are back! They discuss what's new with the crew, plan for a very special event, and take a walk down memory lane.
Somebody thought just throw something into the microphone. Let me get let me get some levels. This is new stuff. I don't think the bikini stuff is as good as the stuff at school. This bikini's equipment isn't as good. I think it's great.
Thou shalt not speak negatively upon the tools of
yes. The 10 keen manments. Bikini man -- Yes. -- thou shall not covet thy neighbor's stance. That's right. Let's just do let's do all 10 of them and and just kinda
go around
in a circle and we'll list them and we'll get a little
well, yeah. That shall not speak ill of Bikini's equipment. Yes. Thou
shalt not kill the mood. Now
shall not kill the moon? Is it a key name? It's a big 1. Big. We know
that 1 from Broco, anyway.
Yeah. So that's first
of all, I'm sorry. And Second of all, I won't do it again.
Yes.
Don't stay too long at the buffet.
Plays a little differently.
Yeah. Yeah. Not. No. No. No thou shalts are all English and all that. There's a thou
shalt use the lord's name in vain.
It's a big question. Dout shall not worship false dancers?
Yeah. That's right.
But we all got tricked by those mannequins. I got
it. Or who?
Womannequins. I mean, womannequins.
Todd, your therapist, had not turned to stripping.
Oh, I see. I
couldn't believe my therapist turned to stripping
because I
got a dance and a massage. What else? We
have been together. Don't worship false titties. Right? They did a a Don't worship big titties. Yes. Which isn't top for
us. But some of these rules, you definitely see the reason for them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Because if there's I've come in here before before, they had that rule. And there was just 30 guys hands hands class to the nose. Right. These on the ground. Absolutely. Yes.
Pray into silicon.
It's hard for me because my wet nurse was too big sandbags as a baby. So
it was tough for you. As much as you have fun at bikinis. I can tell it's a struggle for you.
It's a struggle sometimes. Some of the rules I hear. Yeah. But
your duela was a Paris bank. Right? That was packed full with newspaper. There
was something wrong with that new loss. Thank god. I thought.
I'm starting to see the mannequin significance in your life. You were from an early age raised by a banana. Yeah,
todd. Is there any proof that you're your parents, I think, just created sort of, like, avatars of themselves with household objects. And you guys You
have parents. Right? Yes, sir. Yes.
Your mom recently passed away. Right?
Yes. Oh my god. I forgot.
And and folks, we're gonna get back to it. But, Todd, we should talk about this. We
are so sorry. Today is the first -- For your bereavement. -- yes. Today
is the first day anniversary of Todd's mother's death. It's been 24 long hours, and I finally have clarity and I'm over it, but it's a lot. You know? Well,
you're asleep for a lot of
it. The the funeral or the 24? Yes.
You were you were grief stricken with
sleep just that way. With grief. I had to go right back to bed. I had a well, I had a big turkey dinner because That's how I remembered my mom is everyday was Thanksgiving in the Piper household.
Yeah. And
my my mom of course being real. You know, a lot of people came to the funeral and they said, I I don't wanna be rude but it seems like maybe is open casket. Maybe this casket is just jeans and a t shirt stuffed with cotton balls and I said If anyone else wants to insult my mom's dead body, save it for the wake roast, which we always do in the
pot roast. Yeah. Wow. And
that was a beautiful roast. I gotta say thank you for letting us all be there.
The way, gross. Yes. Lisa
laminelli roast your mom's dead body.
done with well, I'm panellie. I'm done with her. I think a
I'm
lot of us are, you know. Right? I think a lot of us are, and she had a good run.
Yeah. She let us have it. She will not let go of our traits and and stop roasting us up. I you would not believe the stories of
what Lisa says that we have done together.
Oh my god.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. They're disgusting. But based on what I mean, at least in the roast, what you do is disgusting. Yeah. Absolutely. She
doesn't even have to make punch lines about our lives. And she just people are laughing at the setups. That's right.
Alright.
I think we got enough of the list. Bikinis. Bikinis. Bikinis. Can somebody just Oh, here comes the bikini ghost. It's out of here. Go down here. It's take the headphones real quick and just check my levels.
Yes. Here. Oh, you got Here,
built with the headphones on.
And thou, shout, not steel dollar bills. Beeee. Oh my god. We lost milk. Yeah. Now look at mine. Boo. Boom. Sean them. Chunk a look. Bad. Get clear. Todd, we're
Okay.
out of the way, Todd.
Everybody back.
Chuck him, Todd. Use it. He's V fib.
Okay.
Bill. Bill, are you okay? That's What happened? Shut up. The whites in my eyes are red. You
passed out in Bikini's because of Howard's Soundcheck.
That's not even
Oh, God, if I had a dimes. Okay, that's a funny joke, but let's just play the damn theme song. Yeah. Ladies, Okay. What do you need?
true.
You got me on my niece, cutie.
Okay. Bing in darling, please, Kitties. Darling, won't you ease my worried?
Why.
Alright. Well, ladies and gentlemen. Yay. Welcome to another episode. Laylip and change to lap dance theme. We love that. Wait. It is a gentlemen. Welcome to another episode. The teachers lounge is the first best and only podcast pertaining to issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I'm not embarrassed by any of this. I'm
not embarrassed by what we're doing here.
No. I I'll tell you. I was for a little bit, but we really came out of it after
the funeral. Yeah. Yeah. We came out of it after my mom's funeral.
Whoa, Todd. You just hit a really nice note. A really nice note. You're the famous song.
Yes. Your grief. How did your audition go for the The tone deafs, the our local acapella group, because you the grief was making you hit some high notes.
Yeah. Well, really well for the tone
deaf. You
guys I fit in really well for the tone deaf. You did.
You did. Yeah. Because it was a it was a flash audition too because they needed to replace someone for their performance at the alumni event. Exactly. Yes. And it was also a
flash audition because they have you come in a trench coat. Right? And then
no. My eyes misinformed
on that. Yeah. You he thought it was running around, though. Thank you for the
he thought it was running around, man. I was running around, like, in a trench coat showing myself off. Luckily, I'm so tone deaf. They still put me on the
ground. We saw that on the on the telephone pole, and that's exactly what I thought it On
the telephone. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The ad. Yeah. When we well, when we saw it and we took every little number off there so no 1 else could get it.
right. That's what you have to do. You have to.
That's
It's
business
out here that does the market.
No 1 else is Weird says that the market. Yeah. The market's good.
Alright. Well, folks. A lot has happened a lot has happened in the last week. Obviously, we, of course, are are coming to you live from background. New York's location, we actually they were we were asked to step away from campus for a while. It wasn't,
you know Not the first time, not the last time we talked to you
live from the asbestos room. Here at Bikinis, which, of course, is similar to the champagne room in most sort of gentlemen's club or Except it's carcinogens. Yes. Yeah. This is where they keep obvious stuff. It's like the time out. It's like the time out for people who have been bad at the strip club. They said it'd be asbestos room, so you sort of Management. The team manment sort of If you break a keen manment, you have to go to the asbestos room and you have to breathe it in and cough. But
i,
of course, am Howard Levis, who's your biology teacher. Excuse
me, especially
and and I'm here with my buddies as usual. Let's let's go around the horn and introduce ourselves again.
Thank you, Howie. My name is Sexy Sam Weatherman, I am the official guardian of Oh, Crievous.
Yeah. That's right. Oh, Crievous is on the loose suit. Do not approach him if you see him on the street. That's
right. I am his official guardian, but we
don't perfectly know where he is. A crevasseous
out. A crevas out.
Go ahead.
As
you guys saw last night of the game, he became the school's new mascot and that was so exciting for him with everybody cheering his name and coming up close to him that he ran off into the hills. Now we can hear him, but we don't know exactly what he is. If last night, you heard a subtle, a loud
grievous. That was okay. That was okay.
oh,
I mean, it's very clear his call -- Yeah. -- because he screams his own name.
But you know what they say? If you love O'kriva, set him free -- Yes.
-- if he
doesn't kill everyone in his sight -- He'll
come back. -- he'll come back to you. So But I trust him. I think
we've built up
some trust
over the last few days and
oh, yes. Yeah. Hi, Bill Kravy. Previously a teacher -- That's right. -- did lose my pink slip at the alumni game. Close.
Game. Close games, very close. You pulled out all the stops.
I know. We were joined by the the fleas Kaflimum
abduljibar.
Kaflimum Abduljibar, a a crevas.
A crevas joined the team.
I'm sorry. A flavors. I got con I got You
got a oh, you got a
grievous brain. I got a grievous brain right now. So if a grievous yells at his name at into your ear, you will forget everything you've thought for the last 2 years. So so so a crevasse can do sort of, like, a men in black thing.
Yes. And this town has
been
things have been a little on edge ever since a lot of us have got a grievous brain. A lot of people are are stuck in 20 19. Yes. Right.
That's not the side
effects of licking the egg that we forgot to put in the thing. Don't
lick the crevices egg. That's everything right.
Right. Exactly. I feel like it should have been some up for upfront warnings -- Yes. -- a little more obvious that make it clear so many different interactions with Ocrievous sent you back to 2019. Actually been approved by opposite of the FDA. It's based on what I did. The 1 we should have paid attention to. That's right. Yeah. The association of dumb pharmacist and the pharmacist would have Not right. That dumb. They are that dumb Well, let's remember. A previous
does help you with what it's originally there to help you with. Yes. It just has a long
list of side
effects.
Right. Yeah. Side effects are tough. But anyway, Todd padres here.
Alright. Todd padres, the saddest man alive.
Aw. No.
It's okay. Yeah. Take
tuck out fell apart. What happened, Todd?
Oh, it got kicked out. You can find me on Twitter at not toilet paper, not feminist.
Not toilet paper or feminist,
todd. You've been shaken up. Well, we all understand the the fallout from the halftime show has sort of seen ripples
sharmen won't associate with me. I've been flushed from the TikTok House.
Let's remind everybody. Oh, the ceremonial flushing, which was? A livestream, and covered by every channel. Dine was there. Who Try Denine.
Dine was trying to get comments. Yeah. It was a livestream. It was a peace dream. It was a lot of things. They fleshed out right out the back of the house into what used to be the pool, but was now an open subject tank.
Open subject. I got fleshed
in an open space. Picked.
Like, it's tough to see, Todd, but you were flushed like a piece of shit. Out of the Charmin tiktok house.
You there was a clog. You did get you clogged up. Yeah.
They had to pull that to call a plumber and
pull it back out. It's quite a show. I must say. From the outside, I know you were stuck in the drain tubs. Yes. But they bring a big broad plumber in there.
To be fair Yeah. They kinda brought in a guy who looked a lot like Rickett Ralph, it's performative.
It's a whole It's it's performative. It's it's based in a lot of historical performance art, you know. It goes back to the Japanese no theater.
I I don't know about that. It kinda it kinda felt like they were just making content. They were making content for their attention. A lot of old
You know, the Greek -- Right. -- as represented by Tup Pleasure Core and Friends. And I remember thinking as I was clogged in the ceremonial flush getting snaked out by a large man whose crack was half out. This is
art.
a low pat for me. It's for sure, at least At least 3 quarters. Yeah. I was like, what plumber you can see the bottom of his butt cheeks. You could see the curve of
the box. You could see where his butt cheeks met his legs.
Yes. That makes any sense. You could see most of the back of his thigh. No. It was me. I was saying you had a pretty low pick. Yeah. God. They were around the ankle. I was gonna say guys
that.
I was gonna say, I don't know I don't know if you were to say that that man put his pants on in the morning. He no. Oh, well,
mean,
now that I'm thinking about it, I didn't even see any pants.
Well, they had to be on to be off, I guess.
But I I don't know.
I don't really know. Right.
As I was getting snaked out by the bottomless plumber. Which he also got this thing because he will work long No. We're long hours of time. Oh
my god. And you will get refills of him at brunch somehow.
Yes. The bottom was Plamosa.
Well, because if he if he stinks out too fast, he'll refill your toilet. So that he knew that to work. It's absolute pain. Have plumber.
I mean, he'll do the he'll do the bubbles in the hole that we get I mean, we got tanked up, but
but we're sitting there doing 250. Honestly, when we're when we're doing that, I'm starting to think we might have a problem.
I mean, Howard's new now. That's
where brunch has gotten out of control.
I mean, we are hooked up to the toilets, and we are the bottomless formosus.
We're stuck with the toilets in Brooklyn. We got a nose hole for the o 2. We got a mouth hole for the POMosa. A holepepper
little glass. And I appreciate I appreciate you guys. I appreciate you guys -- A lot more, really. -- coming coming back in in support in the T02 and trying to trying to get Well, T02 was stolen from you. That's right, gross. As everybody knows, I hadn't had a pat had hadn't been patent. It was pending. And so a lot of different people try to come out with their own sort of knockoff. The race for T02. Right? They're not all the documentarians. We're calling I know. You've all seen the the multiple different documentary series that have been released in Russia was trying to get to T02 first. Yeah. T00,
the story of T02.
We suck that time. Yes. Yeah. It was it it was really just a rough time. And I'll be honest with you, I'd have They're
for a grievous. I
looking
i haven't had Turn the sirens off, George. I appreciate it.
So let's get a button shush.
If we hear him, we we gotta do
this. Listen.
Is there 2? 0, Crievous. We'll reproduce it. It
did rain last night, didn't it? Yes. Oh, no. If you were, previously,
we'll turn into 2. Whoa. What?
Very surprised. Bill.
I think we gotta listen to the rest of this.
We gotta listen to the rest of this person. Well, I'm reading them off in the cadence and that now that Yeah. Yeah. You know what's happening. But but T02 was stolen
from 2. Eventually, I I don't know if this is what you were upset about but I would have been is the 1 that kind of stole the show is Hugh Jackman presents T02. Yeah and he's gonna do in like a Trache Man wing style
situation. I'll say this. I'll say this. I think it was a ploy. He's trying to get me out in the open because everybody knows Hugh Jackman's looking for me, so he has gone very public with sort of his presentation of his knockoff T02, trying to get me to bite. He's trying to get me to sort of show my face in public, which, obviously, I haven't been able to do for many reasons. And
what's he calling his?
He's calling his T0Q. Right? Yeah. T0Q. TLU, which which honestly
wow. That is really that's unfortunate because that is a good It's
really good. It is really
good. Toilet. Wow.
Toilet.
Opportunity to you. That is really good.
And I, of course, have if in response, Chase, by chance the name of mine to Tihoto, because I'm Howard, obviously. Oh, no. And so we're sort of trying to have You had the original white change yours. Because this was so good. I realized mine could be better. Oh, t hoe 2. T hoe 2. So, obviously, everybody, if you want, I changed all of the branding. I changed the website, social media handles. If you were following T02 on on Twitter or Instagram, go back, make sure. Now you're following TH02. To make sure you can get all the updates. But I appreciate you guys supporting me in this. I think you guys had your run-in with you Jackman last week, and you realized you know, who's your real friend? It's not Hugh Jackman. It's Howard Levis. But you didn't Jim?
You didn't change the formula. T02 is
still pure. Right? Of course, not. It's still pure. Oxygen
out of the toilet that you've shitted. It is
pure Excuse my language. Excuse him. And it'll never be anything different. Of course. Never never ever be anything different. Well, hold on. We all love T02. We're all hooked up to it right now. Or t hochu. Everybody took a sniff of the toy.
God, that's really fresh. God.
That's fresh. How do you get it so
fresh out of the toilet?
Straight from the source? I mean, that was always
it is straight the sword In the
infomercial, that was always the question. How do you get it so fresh out of the toilet? But Howard, And I forget what we were calling it last week, but you had the the ultimate reveal at this week. We're kind of very been the We are kinda weird in the lead a little bit. A lot happened at the alumni game. I don't even know there are so many things that happened. What have we touched 1 percent?
1 percent. Yeah. Bernie Sanders is listening to this, listening to his fucking mind. Sorry, Bernie. Sorry, Bernie. Get to the other 98 percent. Listen,
we know you're feel in the burn about how lack of explaining we've done. Mhmm. But just hang in there with Every week, we get emails from Bernie Sanders. We
that once again, you are asking us to talk about the other 99 percent of what happened to you then.
know
But quite frankly, Bernie, there's too much and we'll never touch at all. It's just We're gonna try to get to it in this episode. I mean, obviously, I lost my teaching certificate and I miss it to hell.
Right.
I missed it. You were
curled up at night with that thing. That was you really valued your teacher's name.
But and that will change my life reversibly. Yeah. I I there's no way to get it back unless you met it in a street race or
unless you're in secrets.
Or, you know, like other outlaw type
activity. Which,
by the way, you have actually you have challenged Yes. I bought a MazdaRx 7 right after the game, and I said, let's take it outside. And he said, no. Walcott was like was like, no, I've done my part. Yes.
And then you lost your pink slip to a turtle
because no
1 else would race you.
Yes. He got you with the old slope
yes. I was like, of course, I'm not gonna race this turtle. They threw down the checkered flag. I went about halfway down the quarter mile. I stopped. I got some ice cream.
I'm like What do you think he's not gonna be fast? No. He
got plenty
of time to stop, pop, do whatever.
Yeah. And if anything, he's gonna get distracted and go down to the sewer starting. Pete's I was new. I've known that.
Well, because this was a teenaged ninja turtle -- Yes. -- but it's just unfortunately not a mutant.
Yes. Yes. So it was just a little turtle that would break some bricks and wood and had acne. But it wasn't big and could talk. That's Anyway, but the big reveal right. The heck 1 of the biggest things
another 1 percent -- Yeah. 1 1 of the things that happened. Obviously, the the Jenko project came out, said they were gonna ruin me, they were gonna tell everybody the truth about Howard Lewis, how I'm not a member of the Lev or the Levi's family. I'm actually the inspiration for the little character who was on Lee Pipes, pants, which was the Jinko knockoff from Lee. And I had I had a beautiful plan. I had 2 very special guests who were planning on arriving. They came in a blacked out sprinter van. Yes. Little AC unit on top. Unfortunately, unfortunately, there was an issue, I guess, the wake up call at nightstands didn't make it through. Oh my god. Nightstands, you guys gotta get this figured out. They keep doing go to sleep call -- Yes. -- instead of wake up because they call you and they go, are you ready? In bed. And so I was on stage in the halftime show about to introduce my 2 friends, and I look backstage and the space where they should have been was empty. Oh, no. And so I freak You guys know I freak. And I've got plenty of friends, investigative journalists, authors, people who have done a lot of good work, so I put in a call to my good friend, Jeffrey Tubben, who happened to be available. He works for CNN. He's a very influential man. He said I'm busy right now, but I can hop on a Zoom. He said I'm busy right now. I can hop on a Zoom. Extremely busy. And I, of course, I haven't checked in on a computer. He said I'm intimately busy, but I don't mind hopping on a Zoom right now. Right. Which I thought was a typo. I I thought it meant intently busy. Intantly. Okay. But I said it's fine. So 2 weeks 10. Yeah. We haven't talked in 3 years, but you know who I really am. Let me get you on the line, so I dial up the Zoom on the big screen. So big screen comes down. Okay.
or
This was in the school gym.
Right? In the school. In the school of Yes. Well, you had been Ocrievous, so you were you missed this part. He screamed in your ear and you forgot some stuff. Yeah. I forgot
crievous screams. Your ears were ringing till they don't.
Oh, that's a good 1. We should have read that. That would seem so good. We knew that. That makes sense. Yeah. They will ring into the goal. So anyway, big screen, comes down slowly, obviously. Tubben's live. Tubben well, Tubben had a Tubben. I was getting Tubben on the line. He was in the waiting room. I didn't wanna get him on. Before I was saying, hang on. Let me get everything set up for you in the waiting room. You were, like, stay in the waiting room. You'll be in there a little bit. Make yourself comfortable,
you on in a second. Don't worry. It'll be when you least expect it. Yes. Don't worry. It'll be when you least expect it. Right. And so, anyway, I do a big show. I say everyone in town, the Jinko project's there. I could see him in the front row. Denine Margales, who's been trying to bust you, Yeah. As a member of the Lee's family as the is front row. Yes. Again, we got a
we'll bring
picture, Dine. It used to be like a Southern
usually, like,
used to look like, you know, a a QVC host. Yes. Now looks like she loves boondock saints.
That's very important, Bernie. Don't you 2 percent Yeah, Bernie. Leave us alone. We're getting to the other percent. Considering So the screen's coming down. The screen's coming down -- And
tubing -- tubing
in the living room. Fully nude. Excuse me? Excuse me. You knew he's fully nude. Well, I didn't even You've been on
creeva
but this might be true. Like, you but you knew before I brought him up? Well, I just
kind of assumed because it's the last thing we heard from him about.
See, I gotta keep up tabs on my friends. What toobin be Newton is what is everybody True.
That's his Instagram handle.
2 men been doing it. Content.
2 men leaned into what happened.
Oh, yeah. A lot of people think he's trying to get back to doing the news. No. He's trying to make his career more about drinking off on Zoom. Yeah.
He's going the other way. Yeah. Which we should have checked on before
he was involved. I'll be honest with you. It's on me. Tube and me Newton we should have been a pinkie. Should have been huge. I honestly feel very bad now. Knowing now what I what I knowing now what I didn't know then. I probably would've done things differently. But, anyway, that's why I've had that story of our lives. Yes. That's 1 of our favorite. That's 1 of No
1 told me it was gonna go fucking crazy. Yeah. I wouldn't have asked for that. You know what
i mean?
Life is supposed to be ways your All of a sudden you're at your alumni event trying to impress all your exes and 1 of your friends is getting almost eaten by Ocrevis. 1 of your friends' teams getting creamed by a real basketball team.
Yeah. And I'm trying to lasso Francis, Francine, out of a tornado --
yeah. -- that
she's being blown around in to get her back down on the court.
Your other friend is bringing yet another pervert into his life to fix things.
Yeah. For every we'll just get in the way. Another. I had no idea that Tubon and Weiner we're we're of the same milk.
Slabs
know you have a a past with Anthony Sweeney. Accidentally shown the photo of Anthony Weiner's Weener in when I was running for mayor years ago, and something similar happened in this case. We caught Tubeben in an intimate moment. Which I didn't even know was part of his thing, failed with my illness.
We really have to help you, and I maybe your previous can help you with this disease. Because some people have face blindness. You have perv blind.
That's right. I
remember you brought Matt Gates over and said, look at this guy's natural smile. We said, no. It doesn't feel this guy feels like a perv and you were like, he's hilarious. And what Right. Every time you bring a new guy into
your life -- Yes. Too big. I think
weiner, Gates. Yes. What about provolous? That guy was That guy was bad. Yeah. And
when you look, a crevasse egg, the more perfects will be revealed. Such
we've We knew. Here's the thing. We have gotta finish this list. We have got to finish
this list. I can't read ahead. I only can read them occasionally. I know.
Oh, I always read the last page if I'm reading a book just so I know what happened. So I know the last Crievous. Right. And I think you guys are gonna be pleasantly surprised.
Oh, no. You read ahead.
Yeah. Yeah. I read ahead. I
gotta be honest. I'm feeling a lit lonely. Wow. I know it was a big
wow.
You're never lonely. I
know. I know I know there's people who always love me here and who always are gonna give me the time that I pay for.
Yeah. And care about your true self.
I just miss. I miss so grievous. I miss
this horrible
scent. I miss his attitude. I miss the danger of holding on to his leash. I mean,
have you
ever walked a dog that's 10 times too big too big for you? Yeah. And that's what
it's like to complete. Gets jerked around by his chihuahua. It's
not bigger, but it is stronger. The same
i'm Oh, I get it. Who's walking who every time I take that little guy out?
Sam, I think you're sitting here and you're feeling nostalgic for for for a time before, but you're not taking any sort of ownership of what happened at the game that resulted in. Okay?
I know. Because I'm just nostalgic. We haven't talked about it. But real quick, so Bernie Sanders isn't set with us. Let's finish the Tubben story. Yes. Well And
No.
you it was revealed that you are actually part of the Lee's family. Sorry to jump head. Yeah. No. It's fine. Well, what obviously, Tubin, we we put his camera live. He was And he did his thing. He didn't be Newton. Yeah. Dudein been Newton. And I immediately ripped the screen off the ceiling. I I hadn't I didn't even know Right. You had your hand on the HDMI cord, but instead, you went and slowly ripped down I mean, it was huge. You didn't have a really enough, like, oomph to get there. You had to
how
sort of run up the stand and then run down the stands and trump.
Looked for a scissors -- Yeah. -- to cut it down, but he's but Tuben be Newton this whole time in front of families.
And he has got, you know, like, branding. And as you
he's cranking it with brands. I I feel really bad about this. Mhmm. And so, eventually, I got the screen down. But whoever's idea was to paint the walls of the gymnasium, white You are an asshole because the screen comes down and he's still blaring across the white film on the back wall. But also on the visitor's faces,
yeah.
The visiting crowd space.
Now here is what here was my shock. Mhmm. Can you imagine this? I I am so surprised that a person who dedicates their whole life to the investigative journalism of bringing other people's name down has a secret Mhmm. Can you believe that? That they have a big shame. Right. Right. I it really shocks me because you see these people whose whole life is just ruining other people and looking into it and
they're pointing at anybody except themselves. Yeah.
And then you see them and it's oh, there's something wrong with you. You would never want anyone who would do this to you, would you? It's so shocking. It's so shocking. Especially
someone who's in the media like that. Everybody in the media, I trust.
I trust How clean is a whistle. And speaking of trusting the media, I think to to piggyback on you, Sam, if you don't mind, I'm just
gonna
let me get on. Recent co 2. Big you backing up and Sam
here.
Bill, you're killing Tom. Dog, okay. You're killing. Why are you groaning?
No doubt. Oh, your TM2 fell out here.
Oh, how do you keep it so fresh even though it's going me out of a toilet.
No. I'm picking picking back you up from Sam here. Yeah. On I feel so lonely and I feel in a bikini. It said, in a bikinis and it's got me thinking back to when did I not feel lonely? That's a great question. Yeah. All the times when I was famous
-- Uh-huh. --
if I remember correctly that's what I'm kind of wish ful for.
Right. It's
i feel like no 1 knows about me. You know? All people know about me is that I got flushed from
sherman House. And it's and people are gonna forget about And and this is the thing that people
the
know more about you than anything else now because it's the most viral you've Every
bit. I'm sorry I had to reach out.
Wow.
Oh, I mean,
let me get out of the toilet here. 1 second. You know what I mean? It's p u. You gotta pop on out. P u.
Ding. I gotta thump some turds off of my shoulder. Well,
now that we've got you back up here, a little soaked but turn it off.
I've turned it off. I'm
just really be doing some analysis. You know, I've had a lot of loss, my my sweet sweet Both of your parents that I can see is pretty much on
air.
And I'm just what, you know, my my my dad and mom never did anything to be remembered by anyone. Right. You know? Right. My dad, of course, you also have the funeral. Everyone's it's memorable that everyone everyone looked into that casket and said, Oh. The chink.
Sorry.
Everyone looks like a big casket.
Sorry. Everyone looked in, you know, 3 weeks ago, my dad everyone looked into my dad's casket and said like, oh my gosh, is this your dad? Or is this a really small home cogan toy? And I said please save it for the roast. But no, he never did anything to be remembered. Yeah. Say with my mom. And I'm sitting here at the ripe young ages and I just feel like What have I done?
Well, I'm Can
i clarify, was that a whole Kogan toy or did you just have fun at the embalmers?
Yeah. Did you give the embalmers too many notes?
Well, okay. So we we had a Your dream shape for your
dad.
Because that's what I noticed, not only his height, but his stocky stocky
shirt on me. Forget these silky smooth blonde. And little hat -- Yes. -- or brag. It's
really a shame that people You know, they say we only use 10 percent of our brains. We really only use 10 percent of our corpses at the embalmer.
can do so much creative
You
flavors there. That is so great. Because the
body is mush once you're dead. I mean, it's hard and stiff. Todd, Ram.
It's it's funny you're bringing this up right now because I actually just got followed on my TikTok. Oh, really. By by a by a it seemed like a brand new account. Uh-huh. It was it was called -- True. -- it was it was Feminist embalmer? Really? Yeah. Good
for you.
Well Is feminist embalmer?
That's really interesting because I You know, I have been thinking about some stuff lately and You have had you've been a little morbid lately,
i'll say, after Well, I think that's a lot of a death.
Embalmers are kind of chauvinists in masculine in the way that everybody looks when they're dead. We
do see that feminists Yeah. They come through, and they they're very mail. They they pillage the bodies and leave it just with nothing
left. Yes. It's very you know, there there's a lot of masculinity in the embalming world and so I've learned a lot from this account, you know, that men can also be buried in women's underwear. Wow. Women
right. You've been secretly putting women's underwear on men.
No. I'm learning this from the feminist involvement account, which I think is anonymous as far as I understood.
Right. There's definitely a mask involved with the feminist embalmer. Well, he's revealing all the embalmer secrets. And,
unfortunately,
his son is telling some
of his own secrets because he does a lot of his videos in front of a mirror.
Oh, sure. And you can
sort of see the back of him in the mirror. Really? Yeah.
Yeah. The backdrop is the mirror. And let's just say, if you thought you saw a lot of the plumbers crack,
this guy is wearing a full open hospital gown.
No. Really? Yes. Yes. Yeah. And it's very interesting that
feminist embalmer is in a mask AAA hospital gown backlist. But and also, despite being a feminist has, like, sort of dressed up you know, female assistants that he's sort of ogling over, oogling, if you will. Oh, he's typically
i mean, like a magician, it's all in the show and that's what I appreciate about the account. I just wish I knew about that mirror or he did because there's a lot of fans blowing and stuff. For
sure. Right. You're trying to keep this stink
out. But I don't know. I I I'm glad he followed you and, you know, it's big for you, I think. Think everyone should follow his account and have it. Could go if our attention isn't a thing that I'm get
buried
in men's ray bans. Wow. How about that? Yeah. And
right. This is something you learned from the
yes. That's right. I
learned it from some some some plumber
videos.
And but what I'm saying, I'm trying to relate to Sam here also. Oh,
i had no idea, sorry.
Really? I don't know why.
But this loneliness that I'm feeling and maybe -- Right. -- you know, I I don't -- Yeah. -- I felt that when I felt the least lonely, if I can remember correctly, is when I felt known. Mhmm.
Amen. See, I I've I've had almost the opposite experience where now now after everything with tubing, ripping the thing off the wall, the the video continuing on the the white, and then Denine getting up and showing a documentary that she made. Danine obviously showed a documentary that she made. Unequivocally proving that I am, of course, Howard
lee's. Oh, okay. We're good. Wow. We're not gonna deny it anymore. Wow.
I can't deny it anymore because I think that's the thing that maybe I'm attributing all of my life's loneliness and my inability to connect with anybody other than the 3 of you guys. To me living living a lie for my entire life And the halftime show while it was chaotic and it did and it
did. Super cat.
It did stress me out and made me feel bad. I'm hoping that now, going forward, as Howard, Lee's. Wow. I can I can maybe start to live a life that is at least something close to normal Good for you? So at 1 point, you were embarrassed by your last name because it was the subparged Jean. I always thought the So instead of kind of like Just changing it to a normal last name to sort of like not be involved with a company you changed it to a competing and better brand. Well, jeans is in the jeans, Bill. Well, what's your thing? Is in the jeans. In the jeans. Couldn't I couldn't I didn't wanna deny my my connection to the the denim world. It's it's part of me. So
when we're walking around, like a almost like a Don Draper. Yeah. But with a with a ponytail and no hair up top and But, yeah, this Don Draper vibe. All obviously, your suits were a little bit got new. Don droopy. Don not even more but not droopy.
Yeah. It was done
droopy. Yeah. That's alright. Now have you talked to the family? Because this is so huge for your identity. Yes.
Your whole family that you've denied and and why?
I know. Are they gonna accept you? Are they gonna
tell you something that sweet You had a special you signed on for a Meet The Family special with Denine. Uh-huh. And we're working on it right now. I actually couldn't find their home address or phone numbers, so I did put in a contact through the Lee's website.
You
went contact contact us. Mhmm. And
you said, I think I'm your son. I
yeah. And Good
luck. They won't even get back to you about how to get poop of your chance.
Yeah. I've heard their customer service and stuff. Mostly from Todd.
It's ridiculous. They won't get back to you about that stuff. It's not my poop. No. Bingo. Dink.
Sorry, guys. I just you know, I'm I'm I'm feeling I'm feeling a lot better these days, guys. And I know So what should we call you now? I think you gotta call me by my given name. Call you by your name.
Dink.
Uh-huh. Dungery Lee's.
Everybody, you heard it here first? It's no longer Howard Leveth. My name?
Give
a name, birth certificate Dungary Lee's with the hammer hook? My name is Dungary Lee's, middle name, hammer hook. Wow. Hey, I'll tell you
what. It's nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.
Nice to meet you, Dungaree.
Nice to meet you. I accept you fully for your name. Must to be. So Thank you so much. And
that
and, you know, I think, from this day forward,
gonna be a different I'm gonna be a different man.
i'm
Wow. This is really Oh, Creeva. Oh, wow. That's getting way closer to people. Creevas.
Oh, Creevas. Crievous. Oh my god. My god. That
was, like, 6 Oak Rivi. No. Oh, my god. Oak revise. He's okravised. He's okravised. Oh,
no. But he's okravised. You all will die. Oh my god. What? Oh, my god. What? Okay. That's so big. Your apology We need to take that was
the ending. Should we take a break? I
think we need to take a break. We need to get our shock guns. We need to fortify. Yes. We need to fortify bikinis and take a big blow off of the toilet and let's fortify bikinis.
T020T02TH02.
Well, actually, I'm changing the name again. Yes. It's gonna be It's now called Lee,
l02. Leo, that's so good. That's so good, Howard. And I'll tell you what Howard smells
and tastes just as good. Excuse me. Dungaree. Dungaree,
i love the hoe too. Can I get these turds off my shoulder? Stop
going in the toilet. That's what that's what the tube is for. I can't
help. I'm gonna take a little dip.
If
somebody flashes me and I get stuck, then we have to call the the pantsless plumber, the bottomless plumber. I'm gonna be upset. Hey. Don't call him because he's a thousand dollars per visit. Yeah. I'm not gonna call him. I don't have plumber insurance right
now. If we do call not gonna let him put Drano down, which is less than I can say for what you guys did to me.
Yeah.
He got you pretty hard with the Drano. We're sorry about that.
Yeah. Yeah. The
and, yes, he is sort of like a concierge. What the cool thing just pay him and he's just The cool thing about the drain though is what it got all the pubes out of your throat. Yeah. The good thing it was, it went through your tube system as well. And seemed to both train you and the tube you are. Oh, it cleared me out. Yeah.
Excuse me.
You've been hitting the plunger on your mouth constantly
trying to keep It's clog at you. Yeah. Yeah. Your lips are kinda like out right now. You look a little bit like homer Simpson. I
feel a little bit like homer Simpson. Yeah. No.
Let's take a quick break.
Yeah? Okay. Let's do it. Dungaree. Thank you. Thank you for the hors d'oeuvres here. Got just got delivered a plate of Oh, these are beautiful. Bikinis or d'oeuvres. They really do treat us right
around here. What I got here? Fried bikinis. Jalapeno plumps. Jalapeno plums, onion ring kinis. Yeah.
Bikini pretzels? Yes. Tancini broccoli,
which we love. We love Tancini broccoli.
All with the classic sauce.
Water yeah. Bikini's water sauce. I love the water sauce. Sometimes it'll do thick for me, honestly.
Yeah. I don't know. It does sound the the, like, aftertaste that sort of just sticks in your throat is a little too much for me sometimes. Yeah. And I love watered down fried food. Yes. Of course. My big issue is Because we've all we all love postmates fries in
a Yeah. Oh, they've been steaming in their own kitchen.
Gotta be in a in a styrofoam clamshell with no holes punched in it. Yes. Well,
sometimes
the place will punch holes in it or cut the whatever, which I think is, like, cool. And then I get them and I'm like, oh, they're all still crispy.
Yeah.
And I get flies and
stuff in here because all the holes. And they're crispy and bite into it in your teeth. I don't know shatter or whatever.
If I wanted crispy fries, I would have gone to the restaurant.
Yep. Yes. And I would have took care of my teeth. But None of the above. None of the above.
And
i needed it because, folks, things got a little stressful out there. We went outside to see what's happened with her crevasse and -- Yes. -- I imagine, you know There's
lots of movies that you could compare what's happening
around you too. Yes. So, you know, all we'd have to do is think of 1 that you could even imagine. The
1 that sprung to mind for me was World War z. Yes. It's kind of like
a world war z meets Gremlins meets the blob.
Yeah. It's a little sketchy outside. I'm really glad everybody at bikini's seems to be very chill. Well, we -- Got it.
-- we blockaded the door. And, obviously, we all support the second amendment and we concealed in Paris, so we're protected.
And I got Well,
because we we wanna go hunting still sometimes.
Yes. I eat like that. I deserve to be able to fire a fully automatic weapon at an old bag of shit in the backyard even if it makes society.
You had me at old bag.
Yeah. And I I should be
allowed
to visit television tapings with my guns whenever. I want to oh, that is the most likely place. Somebody's gonna get upset, then punch line didn't land, turn around and start mowing to be And
so to be You saw this big bang?
I'll show you a big bang, which we all know. Yeah. And listen, I know you guys hate it, but I am gonna keep the TV on low just in case there's new developments. It'll be just we don't have any questions. They're trying to kill the Ocrevices
yes.
Damn. But Hey, I'm ready to go freaking hunting.
Absolutely. I I don't wanna get off this so fast. No. Let's go back.
I don't care what you're worried about.
I
gotta hunt sometime. Hey. Hey. It's population control. There's too many of crevices. And, yeah, sort of feels like my son in a weird way, but we gotta control it because
we can't. Yeah. I feel like the hunting argument has to stop. Well, you know what? Some people's old man didn't take them out hunting. You. Yeah. A 2 foot tall hulk hogan and daddy.
It's taking down bucks with the biggest Tuck. You have never once talked about hunting until today. Or you're dead. Sense nothing. Where are you testing? Well, I'm processing a loss that happened to me so recently. On air.
On air, which
is how you
process grief. And
get to the podcast, Mike, as fast as you can behind a live trash.
Oh, yeah. We don't talk about anything until the mic's in front of our little mouths.
But -- So we're in here. -- folks
we're in here. We're hold up. We got our rifles and our guns. And we are not going quietly into that good natto crevasse.
And I think
No way.
everybody's pretty proud of They're obviously behind us, they're like these guys know what they're doing, they're going to protect us, and yeah, we're gonna. Now, Sam, I
don't know if people out there know the avengers. I'm a little burpy. I think it's the water sauce. Yes. It
might be the Oh, the water sauce is carbonated today.
Oh, that's why. But Sam, I wonder if you have kind of an Avengers black widow and the Hulk like relationship with Ocrevis. If you look into his eyes, do you think you would calm him or make him angrier? We connect. That's what I think. That's the whole thing. I carried his leash. He respects me. I think I'm wondering if we can get you out there and just talk some sense and do a previous. Well, we I don't know. We Well, previous can I have to since talk to him?
He started he's already
Okay.
eaten so many of my lawyers off the toy. And
we saw how that went. The thrace's fresh heart failure lawyers. Just
not I know.
I we're I know we're maybe embarrassed about it. We don't wanna talk about it, but we saw what happens when Sam tries to reason with Ocrevis during the halftime show. When you We're trying to perform this stunt where you were jumping over all those buses, and Ocrievas was there. I hear the trying in that, and I'm in so to
buy it. Well,
todd, it wasn't a success. That's interesting. Insights. You didn't have you didn't have a half of a percent of the speed you needed to get over Let's
just say, you didn't have the speed, height, or direction. And O' Crievous caught you halfway through each of the crowd.
It's still a fucking stunt. If it's scary to you, it's still a stunt. If I'm gonna have to work, it's still a stunt. We're
not talking about that it wasn't stun. It just didn't work. Well, no, so
i'm saying try then. I pulled off a stunt. I just didn't do exactly all the and and I'll say it. Stupid idiots.
So you pulled off a stunt just not to
stunt anyone thought you were going to do? Yes. I got I got my segway up to 3 miles an hour, which
is fast for me. For you. And I rent wool That ramp is steep. It was 78 degrees. It's almost straight up. You were going
so bad. No. Curve
to it. It's floored to 78 degrees
from We asked if you wanted help. You were like, no, I got it. It's
me going episode 3 miles an hour
going I told you I told you the second you were setting it up. I said, I think you put the ramp the wrong direction. I think you're putting it
up on the short side. Todd's pissed. I didn't fucking ask for help. I didn't ask
and I was like, I need to reveal my son. How are you gonna even get up to this third story balcony?
I got this. I I had a boomerang that I stole from Hugh Dragon, don't tell them. And I I said I was obviously, we all know what happened with the boomerang. I chopped by on hand though. Of course. Of course. Which is crazy because this season, your foot has been blown
off by a pigeon you had to do with, I think. And now you've lost a hand. Well, and I thought you were doing good because you threw it and it
was perfect. I was thinking if it's gonna go way far away from you, it did circle and come back when you tried to catch it.
Yeah. But you did quickly on go on air afterwards and say, your ring ripped it off when you fell. Right? Yeah.
It was my ring. It was just my ring. So it wasn't anything else. I wasn't bad at it. Right. I did take a few belts off the old T02 on the way in, so maybe I was gonna lie on
that.
Right. Right. But, yes, the halftime show people were a little disappointed with.
Right? Because Bill's son has still not been revealed, which is a huge part of a spit up rag over my son's head right now. And it was supposed to be a method he is in prophecy to unveil my son. Right. Which has turned a lot of the town against us because, obviously, over the past few weeks, we've been pitching people on this idea of Methheath Methheathism. People were saying, well, we'll wait and see with the prophecy. And the prophecy has yet to be fill. So the book the the whole our whole bible fell on its face.
Yes. What's new? What's
weird? Every I'm
starting to feel pretty defeated.
Ever feel like when this, when your bible fails, when your new bible fails. I mean, we can all get on board with
yeah. It's that feeling when you write a hole in your bible best based heavily off of the Lord of Heath. And nobody thinks it's cool and everyone thinks it's weird, and then your bible fails. We all have been there.
We had a I
gotta also say you guys, I'm just a little disappointed in us because I think we thought the event was gonna go so good.
Right. It seemed like everything was headed that way. But there was not barely
any alumni that didn't show It was pretty good. But
it wasn't just real quick. You did get a couple of inches of air, but Ocrief has kind of caught you in his mouth mid air, and you still have a couple of OCrievous jaw cuts on your arm --
yes. -- that have sort of blue veins leading to them. Yeah. There's, like, blue veins and they're kinda glowing. Everybody who didn't see it just to paint a picture for you as I'm going up that ramp, 78 degrees, 3 miles an hour, screaming at the top of my I get 2 inches of air. My fucking doctor goes, well, I got more air than his penis size. Oh
my god. And he was somehow my Well He might always make
my doctor when I'm doing stunts because He was trying to take notes. He it was, like, part of a medical
thing for you. Yes. It was
crystal clear sound on that little side gag.
Yes. We didn't even I mean, they played it online and they didn't even have to change the audio at all.
But I will
say he came into the opposite of ADR.
He did get a deal that everyone thought he was so funny he's about to be on doctors who tell jokes, which is
unusual. Yes. They got I just
learned as a prank show where your doctor follows you around and they watch. Your life. And
they tell you you're healthy.
They tell you you're
healthy.
The
the judge starts
off really funny, but then it usually ends pretty Well,
after I lost both my parents in the same month, I went to the doctor, and he said, you're fine. Clean
bill Health? Did his voice fill up like that? Yes. We laughed and winked at a mirror in the corner of the room. And then when I
walked out of the room, Johnny Knoxville, hit me with a huge hand. Anyway, so that'll creevous bit me. Yeah. I got this glowing
body part. Sorry.
I thought you were Donvito's ghost. Which I've been getting a lot. Let me set the record straight. Yes. I am not the ghost of the pervert that Howard I mean, Dungery used
to be friends with. Hungry.
Who is the, like, uncle of Bambarger?
Yeah. I believe he's brother of Phil. But but We never bring him up. We don't talk about him ever on the pod. So you may have to Google images.
You may you may have to Google them, but take a deep breath.
Statey breath in Google.
Yeah. But any Clear your afternoon, Google
david.
It's fine, you guys. He's
fine. Okay. It's fine. Can you imagine all the times ahead of you? Martha hold my gosh. But it it was Is Martha Stewart still your therapist? I mean -- No. Yes. -- the receptionist. Well, so I go into the I go to therapy and I just throw it in my hand or my phone. And I'll have her patch people through in the middle of therapy if we need to. Right. Right. I'll let you come circle all the way back. To to ill attended or go go ahead. Well, it was an ill attended event. Now a crevus is on the loose. I've got a glowing bite mark. When Sam's sleeps, he speaks in a language. None of us can identify.
dead. He's
I think it's a creep. I don't know. It's a creep. It's class go crazy.
Hey. You guys hear it more than I do
to say. Linguists, I call out of an party. Linguists are calling it O'Creevy.
Linguists are calling it O'Creevy. And So just
a lot's going on. What did you think of creepy? You've fully formed. I
guess I'm a fully formed or grievous. I'm not really sure. I I do feel different.
Is
there can you look can you look forward on the the warnings and see if there's anything about if a little creepers bites you? Can't Turn the page. Yeah. You
can There's nothing in there about if Ocreek is spicy. No. It's you got the same thing as me. Pages are just too heavy for me
to talk to the blow. If somebody hit me that that NASCAR Jack over there? I'm gonna try to turn this page.
my god. It's Jack Tod out of the skylight at bikini's
Oh
wait. That Jack looks kinda familiar. Jack? I
thought, just a Jack mate.
No. A Jackman. No. It's a Jackman. My tatcho, it's a Jackman. And you Yeah. Yeah. It's wrong. Jack, man. You're in
wait. But you First, it was Hugh o 2, and now it's
jackman. T o
hugh, bitch.
You. Give us back our give us back Dungarees Patton. Oh, you That is how we're going to live independently for the rest of our lives. Please,
howard, give us some money. Sorry. Dungery. Dungery. I'm not giving you anything. I have a bone to pick with each and every 1 of you. You've all gotten on Hugh Jackman's bad side.
What the Wait a little listen. Hugh, huge of us. Hugh, your your quarrel with it is with me, sir. It's
not
with my friend. Something really is being a hero. Yeah. Todd's been launched into the air. That's why we don't have
a friend. Todd's coming down like a feather.
He's so light. He's going and forth. Todd, you're coming slowly. Okay? Just be careful. I can't breathe. Stungaree, what are you gonna do? Hue. Back off. He's packing you. He's holding a
gun. Well, I'm packing too. These 6 adamantium claws. It hurts when they come
inside. Oh, 0, here. Hugh Jackman has wolverineclaw. What do you want you? What do you want you? We don't want any trouble. Okay? Are you even
an alumni Hugh here? What are you why are you here? Why are you
why I'm here because Howard way my howard roasted my son on the Internet last week, but all of you have wronged Hugh Jackman. Alright? You, Sam with him in. What? You left a pretty nasty review. Oh, you said he was the
worst. Showman. Not the greatest. It's rough. I thought it would be funny. Well, it wasn't funny. I I cried every
night.
Oh, it's creepy. Oh, creepy. Okay. Alright.
That's so freaky.
He did have subtitles below him. What what did that say? I don't read him. I can never read him fastener. I didn't read him fast enough. What are you guys talking I don't know. You just wanna notice the subtitles. What do you think they said? I think it said back off you. That movie wasn't that good. Oh, fuck off. It was a it was beloved. It just wasn't for your You weren't the target audience. Okay. You You have to watch movies with the discerning eye of who they're made for and always making sure. We liked you in that age B o movie where you played the weird principal. That was good. Yeah. That's the 1 we always think so. Yeah. Even though you're a decorated actor with many projects Yes. I'm decorated. I'm a purple hawk, you know. Well, now that's weird. Oh. You stole that man's purple heart in Australia? But also You stole a purple heart. That's a tadpole heart. And you, you can't make fun of my accent. That's why I'm
in here for you. You keep me from the Australian accent.
Oh, come on. Accent. Well, you're always eating barbie shrimp. Because, oh, boy, if I don't. That's cartoony. Well,
in Australia, we have to put a shrimp of the bobby or we'll die.
Alright? I don't know what to tell you that either. Well, I have a knife.
That's not annoying.
See. See,
that's c. See,
you're cartoonishly. All Australia. Oh, you set me up for a thing that
we all say if we see a small life.
Listen. What do you want? What do you
want?
I want an apology. An
apology. That's
all you want. Teaching every 1 of you.
Well, we'll you.
I'm sorry, you. Here. You were a great showman,
and the film was interesting. Hugh. Not only are you a big movie star who can play amazing characters, you also have the the the ability to do musicals and tap into a softer side of yourself and not just be this superhero guy. Thank you. Wow. Guide to you. His whole time, we just said you have to get shot at a compliment. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Got him. Everything that I said about your kid, Hugh, I meant it. And I mean the same shit about you. And I'll tell you this, you. I ain't I ain't your papa's Howard Levis anymore. I am dungaree. Hammer hooked Lee's, and I am here to take a stand. He is bad back. Oh, jeez. Jesus. Yes. I'm shooting him in the in the Oh. Shoot to kill, Howard. No. I'm shooting to maim. That's my whole thing 154. Phone. Oh, nukkah. Where is Ocrevis from? We don't know Ocrevis, we thought. A pharmaceutical lab. How I get here? Todd, Todd. You're up near Ocrevus' head. Do something. Do something. Do anything, Todd? I'll save you.
Oh,
yes, Todd's laning on his
head.
He's dumb. He's so he's so So it's fine. Judge
my egg and I kill him.
We're sorry -- No. Crievous. We're sorry. Oh, Crievous. What can we do to appease you? Oh, Crievous. Crash. Oh, bikini's second wing. He smashed it. Yeah. Let me in Oh, Crievous never allowed in Bikinis, make o Crievous, bad. Oh, 0, Crievous, so you just wanna you wanna experience bikinis. That's all? Yes. Bikinis looks awesome. Listen, oh, cream, miss. How about this? We'll open the doors. We'll open the doors, and you can sit in the parking lot. And you can look inside in can see what's going on in here. Okay? We don't want any trouble. We'll just open the doors. K. Yeah. Yeah. We'll open doors. You'll just chill out. And we'll just wait down. Will you put your sons with you? Yes, sir. Bring your sons. Call your sons. I'll bring my
sons down to the barn. Every responsible dad does that. No problem. Yeah. They're weirdest.
Oh, yeah. You're the greatest Oh, Breba. And listen, agree with us. I'm just gonna make a phone call. I'm gonna make a phone call, and I'm gonna call a couple of the dancers from bikini. So they'll come out and give you a show. Right? Gonna make a quick phone call here today. Oh, Crevancy Bikini. Oh, Crevancy Bikini. Yes. Oh, Crevency. But Hi.
This is 711. What sort of facts would you like
to hear? Agree with shit. I called the wrong number. Who is this? I was trying to call I was trying to call 911. Alright. What you're trying again? Oh, crevasseabukini. Oh, crevasseabukini. Oh, crevasseab, but gaining.
Hi. Thank you for calling 991. What's your emergency in Canada?
Oh my god. Shit. What'd you mean? Hey. What's going on? Why don't you see you. 1 second. They're getting ready in the previous week. I'm just gonna I'm gonna call I'm gonna call the prison, and I'm gonna hope that Chris Craig is on. It is has his 111 phone call available still. Get Chris Craig on his final call, tell him to Oh, creepers,
in rest. Cream. But snub, bikini.
get
You have reached Hamilton Elementary, Prison.
Yep. Right number. Right. Okay.
Who would you like to speak to? Chris, Greg Crown. Getting you in touch with Chris, Craig Crown. How's it going?
Good, I guess. Cool. Ari, Howard, how are there But they do, like, hold hold small talk now? No. I can't I can't just press her or press her. 1 hearing. Okay. Yes. Do you need us to trade any big bills? You need us to trade any big bills or previous?
Yeah. I only have these rocks and leaves. Could I get some 1?
You know what? I'm gonna give you 200 ones. Chris, right. It's me. It's me, Dungaree. The oh, shit. I
art is formerly known as Howard Levin. Oh, Howard. I cannot thank you enough for inspiring me kill all those people.
Oh, wait. No. Don't say that. Don't say that. Listen. I know you've been planning on breaking out. You were planning on coming to the the alumni event, but you couldn't get out. But I need you to break out right now. There's a there's a huge, huge, huge situation going down at Bikinis, and we need you. Alright. I'm on my way. Thank god. Getting restless. Sorry. O'crevious, I'm counting A10, for real. You don't want us to get you don't wanna make you have enough ones. Okay? I'm gonna blow these all in 1 spot. You always count the ones First woman I see gets all of them right away. Absolutely. And you always count the ones 1 at a time because you're distrustful of the bartender who gives you the ones at bikinis. Okay? Sounds right. You think they're trying to speak. Give you 2 dollars less. So you count them all. Alright?
That's right.
These are strip club tips, which I have on my website, you should go look at it. Alright. Did it work? He's on his way. I'm worried about
todd. Hey, guys. It's me, Todd. Oh, hey, Todd? Hey, that was a crazy fall but I'm feeling alright. The glowing bite healed me real quick.
Oh, no. I'm right away
on my way in here. I killed your friend, Chris Crinkran.
Wait. No. How is it? Oh, previous? Oh, Crievous. Oh, grieving. What we do have? I don't know. They're they're tossing and talking to each other. Oh, no. Wait. Sam. Sam. Sam, Tony shalom boom. Tony shalaboom. Oh, Sam, you gotta keep saying Tony shalaboom. Tony shalaboom. It's a mix between Timothy Shalave, and Tony Shalhoub. Timothy Shalhoubue. Sam, you've been really quiet, man. You gotta go out there and handle this. Tiny, beautiful, and weird. Call me by your monk. What? What is the smash up? What Sam. Sam. Sam. Same thing. We need you to go out here. We've got you guys all sick. I fell sick. I'm getting lost. This is the this is the end of this season. I have been sleeping in the morning. Oh, yeah. We're not He said so early because
it really are. Wait. So what's going on
here? Are we? We got Tom turned into an Ocrevis, and Ocrevis is also still Ocrevis. We need you to go out there and talk to them. Talking to each other. Use use only the word Tony Shalub and Timothy homemade. It's not you. Okay.
Okay. Okay. I think I can speak to a lady. Let me just take a quick lick of the egg.
Oh, no. He's paused. Todd Wait. Wait a minute. Definitely.
That's Todd Crievous. I can tell.
Hold on. Where did you Jackman go? Oh, we shot him in the campbell. I'm fucking almost dead over
here.
Hey, hey, yo, Krievas. So Krievas, Okay. Sam's got this. What do you guys think about throwing on the old leash and hitting them all? Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of
bring them back, like,
remember that when I used to take us to the mall and get us villa Pizza or, you know, Orange Julius or -- Oh. -- sweet factory.
Oh, he's playing to their their childhood. Yeah.
In the origin. To them all with daddy.
Oh, but now he needs to talk to Tads Todd slash o'crevis' childhood.
Interesting.
Hey, brother. How do you say we throw on the leash hit
the wall. Oh, yeah. That's right. It's your father. Oh, shaking out cribs are both shrinking. Oh. Yeah. Why don't you guys hug room? Quick. Then we'll go to the mall. Wait. Wait. So now is Todd gonna be tiny? A tiny old hogan?
Why don't you guys get together, hug up, real quick and turn back into your form that looks like me. Oh.
Anything you say bad?
Oh, Crievous is tiny. Oh, there's a tiny suns disappeared. Baby.
Wow.
Wait. Wait. My son. Here comes my son in the spit out bib over his head. Todd, Todd's reaching up. Tod's reaching up. Maybe the prophecy is gonna come true. Tod's reaching up.
Oh my god. Is Todd your son now? Wait.
Todd was my son the whole time. Is that it? Or is My agreement is Okay. Hold on, my cradling time.
Crailing Todd is a new baby.
I think I think Todd was maybe pretending to be your baby the whole time.
Totto creviced backwards, just like that movie with Brad Pitt, and now he's your baby bill.
Like, the movie with Brent beer, Benjamin Button. It's calm. It's judgment on a fifth. Charg. I want my kids. Todgeman Tutton. Todgeman Todgeman Toden. Wait. Wait. We have to really enjoy our time with Todd. Wait. We can do raise Todd. I do not have any issues. Opportunity. Todd could start over as a child, and we could bring him back we can rear Todd. Now,
todd, listen. When you get older, women are going to start coming into your life. You need to respect these women. They're people just like you. And they deserve your attention, your listening, and your love. Do you hear that Tajeman
tutton?
Okay. Good. Good. What else do you think about women touching I mean, I
guess women could even be buried with with backpacks.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
It's in his DNA, but Hold on. What? I just made all the time. It's just hold on. It's the only time. Yeah. It's just it's not my son. Little, Todd. Todd, do you do you understand what happened to you here? You've been minimized. Yes. I know exactly what happened. When you He's
more pleasurable, honestly. When
you talked to a previous about his childhood, it will shrink him and whoever's around him. Okay.
Oh, man.
I couldn't lift the pay.
Todd, you're little now. Yeah. Little is filthy here. I am so glad we kinda saved the day because Todd your little now. Ocrevices have disappeared, and only 1 wing of bikinis got stopped.
I feel like we gotta skip town. I mean I agree. We've burnt this bridge. Let's get the heck out of here. Have we burnt the Hamilton Bridge again? I don't know if it's odd. And
somehow, tiny Todd is still bigger than his own penis. Hey. Hey. Come out, doctor is hilarious.