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s10e03

My Morning Toilet

Originally aired: September 23, 2021

The Teachers discuss TicksTok, Bikinis, and prepare for the alumni event.

0:00:30 Unknown Speaker #1

Let me get a let me get a little level. And remember with these levels, guys, don't make your face, like, I'm making the sound of my voice is making you puke. Don't don't

0:00:40 Unknown Speaker #2

no. Yeah. No. I do need a regular afraid. I took Dramamine before the check.

0:00:44 Unknown Speaker #1

Thanks for that. Okay. Just to

0:00:45 Unknown Speaker #2

kinda keep my equilibrium -- Uh-huh. -- when I hear your voice. Yeah. You guys Well, I've been really

0:00:50 Unknown Speaker #3

voice sick lately. I don't know if it's with everybody or just some people, but I've been really voice sick. Voice sick. What does voice sick mean? It's like seasick, but when you hear someone's voice, you wanna throw up over the side of a

0:01:00 Unknown Speaker #1

boat. Okay. Yeah.

0:01:01 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Sometimes, like, you know, for example, if you're going to, like, 1 island to another, and you get on the boat and you're fine and then Howard starts talking on the boat and

0:01:12 Unknown Speaker #1

you get sick. You know what? Maybe we don't even need to do levels. We just won't even do levels today.

0:01:16 Unknown Speaker #3

What do you mean? We won't do levels.

0:01:17 Unknown Speaker #2

We have to do levels.

0:01:18 Unknown Speaker #4

We took our drama means. Okay.

0:01:20 Unknown Speaker #1

Fine. Then, Todd, just give me a

0:01:22 Unknown Speaker #4

give me a level check. Alright. Let's see. This is Todd Padre T0DD -- Yeah. -- space. Double d. He wish. He wish?

0:01:36 Unknown Speaker #5

BAD

0:01:44 Unknown Speaker #2

you wish for you? Are you wish you could touch? I

0:01:47 Unknown Speaker #4

think we all wish I had double b's. Yeah. Are you excited

0:01:51 Unknown Speaker #3

about that, Tom?

0:01:52 Unknown Speaker #5

that

0:01:52 Unknown Speaker #4

What's up? Has

0:01:53 Unknown Speaker #3

been on your mind lately? I've

0:01:54 Unknown Speaker #4

been thinking about it. Yeah. You know, you just get something on the mind. Sometimes it's like Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wish I drove a Corolla instead of with the kids hot Hotwheel hot wheel. Yeah. A little hot wheel.

0:02:06 Unknown Speaker #2

I can't believe

0:02:07 Unknown Speaker #4

you just souped up hot wheels.

0:02:08 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Just got it

0:02:09 Unknown Speaker #1

on a horse But hot's

0:02:10 Unknown Speaker #2

barbie Jeep that he drives around and 10 on. That's a Ken Jeep. On the back of That's a Ken

0:02:15 Unknown Speaker #5

jeep.

0:02:18 Unknown Speaker #2

There is no that Ken has a convertible. Barbie has a Jeep.

0:02:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. I mean, that's a Ken Jeep. It's my pink Ken Jeep that Ken rides around in when Barbie's working, which is okay.

0:02:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Have you

0:02:31 Unknown Speaker #4

seen my To make the

0:02:32 Unknown Speaker #2

toy never know what I'm doing. And

0:02:34 Unknown Speaker #1

can you can you spell the rest of your last name, or did you purposely

0:02:37 Unknown Speaker #4

describe the British values? I thought I finished it. Yeah. I thought I finished it. You

0:02:39 Unknown Speaker #1

didn't. You got

0:02:40 Unknown Speaker #4

well, are my levels good? I

0:02:41 Unknown Speaker #1

mean, they sound okay. Yeah. Okay. So

0:02:44 Unknown Speaker #3

you

0:02:44 Unknown Speaker #4

finish it. Alright. Okay.

0:02:44 Unknown Speaker #1

can't

0:02:45 Unknown Speaker #1

Bill, go ahead and hit me with your spell

0:02:47 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, yeah. Well, let's 1 day we'll ask you to prove it to him. Yeah. 1 day.

0:02:47 Unknown Speaker #4

my last name.

0:02:51 Unknown Speaker #2

Bill Cravey, BILLCRAVY. Very good. Thank you.

0:03:00 Unknown Speaker #3

So your name is very phonetic. Yeah.

0:03:02 Unknown Speaker #1

Pretty easy. Bing. Yes.

0:03:04 Unknown Speaker #4

You got it right.

0:03:06 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, Whoa. Come on down?

0:03:09 Unknown Speaker #4

Do I come on down? What do I do? What do

0:03:11 Unknown Speaker #1

i do? Nothing. Nothing. Just

0:03:12 Unknown Speaker #2

kidding. Give

0:03:13 Unknown Speaker #1

me your levels. Also, we don't have to spell our name. That's not You're not on a game show

0:03:16 Unknown Speaker #3

every time you're a

0:03:17 Unknown Speaker #1

dick. Okay. KII0,

0:03:23 Unknown Speaker #3

he's on the masked singer. Hi. Is that is that Bill Cravo?

0:03:28 Unknown Speaker #4

Who is it?

0:03:29 Unknown Speaker #2

I got cut out of the masked singer -- Mhmm. -- because I used my real voice.

0:03:36 Unknown Speaker #4

Mhmm. And The body face.

0:03:38 Unknown Speaker #2

You know, face. And they were like, this character is too grotesque for the show. Yeah. And then you spent 15 minutes trying to get Kim Jong to diagnose what you had. Yes. And he said, I am a medical doctor, but I mostly do comedy now. So I can't. Alright. Well,

0:03:55 Unknown Speaker #1

your levels are good

0:03:56 Unknown Speaker #2

there, Bobby. Alright.

0:03:57 Unknown Speaker #3

Sam here with your Sam weatherman, SAM weather, MAN.

0:04:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. That's good. Did you get it? Yeah. You did you just said weather instead of spelling. And again, you don't have to spell your name. I'm just calling out

0:04:12 Unknown Speaker #2

what I heard. Right. Yeah.

0:04:14 Unknown Speaker #1

Weatherman. Okay. It doesn't matter. Alright. And somebody just take the headphones hearing.

0:04:18 Unknown Speaker #4

There we go. Let me

0:04:19 Unknown Speaker #1

i'm gonna hit you with mine.

0:04:21 Unknown Speaker #5

Hello?

0:04:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Whoa. All the way to the left. All of us flew to the left.

0:04:25 Unknown Speaker #4

Hi, doctor Jong. I need more, grandma, mean,

0:04:27 Unknown Speaker #2

describe me. Doctor Jong. Where is he? A comedy show? We're sick. Okay. Well,

0:04:35 Unknown Speaker #1

you know what? Who knows how my levels are

0:04:37 Unknown Speaker #4

gonna sound? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'll I'll power through.

0:04:40 Unknown Speaker #1

Howard, how do you wanna sound?

0:04:41 Unknown Speaker #3

crank them exactly to how Howard not

0:04:41 Unknown Speaker #5

Let's

0:04:43 Unknown Speaker #1

gonna care what you want. It doesn't matter. You guys don't care how I sound. The audience doesn't care how I sound.

0:04:48 Unknown Speaker #4

Everyone cares.

0:04:49 Unknown Speaker #1

Just do your mic check, Howard. Howard Levis. H0WARDLIVI apostrophe s. The apostrophe is silent.

0:05:00 Unknown Speaker #2

They usually are. They usually usually are. Alright.

0:05:02 Unknown Speaker #1

How did that sound? Did it sound okay?

0:05:04 Unknown Speaker #4

It was good.

0:05:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Alright. Well, just just play the fucking music. Get a

0:05:08 Unknown Speaker #5

ralph

0:05:09 Unknown Speaker #2

over this side.

0:05:12 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. No. Just play the song. Put the song. Put the song.

0:05:17 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, the Bellicans are eating my beer.

0:05:23 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another of the teachers lounge the first best and only podcast to dream issues relevant to the Hamilton High School Community. I am born. God bless you. I thought we were driving this. I thought we were getting throughout Dash.

0:05:38 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh. 0, the white hoo. Oh,

0:05:41 Unknown Speaker #1

the hoo hoo. It'll get around the copyright if I could change it. Yeah. I only did 2 seconds clear, and

0:05:48 Unknown Speaker #3

i changed it to woo hoo.

0:05:49 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay. Well You can do that

0:05:51 Unknown Speaker #3

with any song, you know. What's your favorite song that you always wanted on the lounge.

0:05:55 Unknown Speaker #1

At the bottom

0:05:56 Unknown Speaker #3

jeans. Then hit. I think you know what to do.

0:06:00 Unknown Speaker #2

just have to change boots with the fur to woo woo.

0:06:00 Unknown Speaker #1

You

0:06:03 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. Yeah. Apple bottom jeans, boots with woo hoo.

0:06:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. All downgrade.

0:06:09 Unknown Speaker #1

Alright. Well, I guess that's in here now. Anyway, I'm Howard Levis, of course, your biology teacher. Also, the advocate and now acting I have power of attorney over Craig Crown's estate.

0:06:24 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, wow.

0:06:25 Unknown Speaker #2

Big estate there, biggest stay. We'll pass

0:06:27 Unknown Speaker #1

around the horn and introduce the rest of it.

0:06:28 Unknown Speaker #3

Now it's just a typical power of attorney. You get to order his attorney around?

0:06:33 Unknown Speaker #1

As far as I know, I am I am attorney,

0:06:39 Unknown Speaker #5

judge,

0:06:40 Unknown Speaker #4

jury, and execution. Executioner. Wow.

0:06:43 Unknown Speaker #2

Wow. That's a really good thing to have over your artist. The court the court said we no

0:06:48 Unknown Speaker #1

longer wanna have any sort of any any sort of stake in the outcome of this because we see it being going very poorly. Mhmm. So they have sort of just relinquished him along with all responsibility for him and his actions --

0:07:02 Unknown Speaker #2

his life runs. So you'll take -- the heat, whether he gets the the DP, the death penalty, or gets free. It'll all be on

0:07:09 Unknown Speaker #1

right. I'll beat the blame for the outcome of his story as a human being. And

0:07:13 Unknown Speaker #3

you also have to carry it out as his executioner.

0:07:15 Unknown Speaker #1

That is true, which I'm not looking forward to. But as we know, I'm probably not gonna kill them. Even even if they tell me to, I'm probably

0:07:22 Unknown Speaker #3

not gonna

0:07:23 Unknown Speaker #2

kill them. Is this something You got a big swords to do it if you want, nerd alert. Oh my god.

0:07:27 Unknown Speaker #4

If you walk in the Howard's house, somebody like swords.

0:07:31 Unknown Speaker #2

The swords somebody can stop

0:07:33 Unknown Speaker #1

him for buying more stories. The swords are gonna be gone soon as soon as the eBay auctions

0:07:37 Unknown Speaker #4

end. Oh, yeah. Well Well,

0:07:39 Unknown Speaker #3

you have to have bidders. We've talked about this. If it ends with 0 bidders, you don't do any

0:07:44 Unknown Speaker #1

of the tools. You can't have bidders before you have listings.

0:07:46 Unknown Speaker #2

I will say your reserve is way too

0:07:48 Unknown Speaker #1

high. For this. You don't even know how how expensive You

0:07:51 Unknown Speaker #2

gotta see what the market says

0:07:52 Unknown Speaker #3

there were. 18 grand?

0:07:54 Unknown Speaker #1

18 grand. Yes. For the sword of Demiroth. We

0:07:57 Unknown Speaker #2

here at the lounge know that the market is what's the biggest thing.

0:08:03 Unknown Speaker #3

It keeps the world turned

0:08:04 Unknown Speaker #2

to Mark the market here.

0:08:06 Unknown Speaker #3

Power of the market.

0:08:07 Unknown Speaker #2

The market you have to let the market decide. And I don't make any personal decisions in my life. I let the market decide whether I'm gonna go visit my children or not. I let the market decide if I'm going to get that mold kicked out of my As soon

0:08:23 Unknown Speaker #3

as that morning bell rings, I know where you are. You're at the market.

0:08:27 Unknown Speaker #2

I'm at the market. I'm on the back of that bull downtown Wall Street, and I'm riding that thing until it tells me what to do. Absolutely. Alright.

0:08:36 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, let's piss

0:08:37 Unknown Speaker #2

around the horn and let's piss around the horn. Hey.

0:08:40 Unknown Speaker #3

What's up? It's sexy, Sammymen, and I'm taking a fat piss on the teacher's lounge.

0:08:45 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. That's

0:08:46 Unknown Speaker #3

right. I am the local mental health associate at the school, as well as the COVID compliance officer, as well as the disgraced drivers ed teacher.

0:08:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Not to segue right from drivers ed into this metaphor. But quite a whiplash to hear you say, pissing all over the lounge right into the mental health advocate.

0:09:06 Unknown Speaker #3

I'm going with what my man said.

0:09:08 Unknown Speaker #4

I'm also backing up

0:09:09 Unknown Speaker #3

my guy here.

0:09:10 Unknown Speaker #4

Absolutely. But, yes,

0:09:11 Unknown Speaker #3

some of the bathrooms have been closed due to COVID scares. And so the kids have been peeing just outside the bathrooms, and we're gonna get to the bottom of this. Who tell

0:09:19 Unknown Speaker #1

them to go as close as they can.

0:09:21 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Just get close to the bathroom. It's too risky to go

0:09:25 Unknown Speaker #5

in Well,

0:09:25 Unknown Speaker #3

there's a drain on the floor of every bathroom. As long as you get relatively close with the high powered hose we have, you can get it in there. Oh, yes.

0:09:32 Unknown Speaker #2

A lot of people don't know this. There's 1 main drain in the middle of molten and all the floor slopes towards that drain. It's

0:09:40 Unknown Speaker #4

in the middle of the

0:09:41 Unknown Speaker #5

amphitheatre.

0:09:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. And that drain Which

0:09:43 Unknown Speaker #3

is also called the toy bowl? Yes. Hello? You can

0:09:46 Unknown Speaker #2

hear the screams of hell if you listen to those tonight. And we would know those. We would Hello, everyone. Bill Cravi, assisted basketball coach, head teacher of the home ec department, which only has 1 teacher so far. And also lead coach of the alumni team, which, of course, Has Roberto. We got Travis. We got Albert. We got Francis, and we got your eye. Francine. Francine. That's what I meant.

0:10:17 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. And is Francine

0:10:18 Unknown Speaker #3

okay? Because I saw her the other day, she was looking a little bit wan, a

0:10:18 Unknown Speaker #5

doing

0:10:21 Unknown Speaker #2

little bit weird. Francine took a calcium fall

0:10:24 Unknown Speaker #4

the other day.

0:10:27 Unknown Speaker #2

Which I don't know if that's a term. It's not. But it's a I know what you mean. You know what I mean. Yeah. When I say an old person

0:10:35 Unknown Speaker #1

she'd really hope She really wish she had more calcium. It's

0:10:38 Unknown Speaker #2

1 of those where you go, oh my god. And they get up and they say they're fine and you're, okay, because I thought you were gonna turn to dust. Dust. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. A calcium fall. But Francine's okay. Yeah. The rest of the team is fantastic. Everything is going as planned. Yes.

0:10:58 Unknown Speaker #4

Big news that's exciting, Todd podre at t p feminist on TikTok and all social media. And director of whatever plays happening this year, that the students are all starring in which

0:11:11 Unknown Speaker #1

is exciting for that 1. Has the

0:11:12 Unknown Speaker #3

play changed?

0:11:13 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. They've simplified it. They quickly simplified it.

0:11:16 Unknown Speaker #4

They simplified it. Well, they got really good stuff. They took out the 2 faced version of -- Tennessee Williams. -- Tennessee Williams and Peter Pan. Yeah. Which was of as everyone remembers, half Tennessee Williams, and half and half Peter No.

0:11:29 Unknown Speaker #1

No. No. Half Peter pan half, Tennessee Williams hat. Burn to a crispness season.

0:11:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Are you wrong about that? Are you right?

0:11:35 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm right about that.

0:11:36 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. Alright.

0:11:37 Unknown Speaker #4

Are you wrong about that? Or are you right? Oh, hello. Okay. So you're Brad Pitt.

0:11:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Somebody called Paul Outdoors. We Yeah. And we need to hit Shania tweeen. Shania tweeen.

0:11:52 Unknown Speaker #4

join you? But, yeah, we are here in the lounge. I I feel like we came back, you know, we did the show. And I don't know that we described the amenities to the new lounge. Our listeners because we were gone for a while and we did some updates to the launch to modernize it a little bit. We are on some fantastic microphones donated by play play school. Uh-huh. Yes. Right. Each 1

0:11:52 Unknown Speaker #3

Can I

0:12:18 Unknown Speaker #3

is attached to a little white plastic keyboard --

0:12:21 Unknown Speaker #4

yes. -- and

0:12:22 Unknown Speaker #3

the microphone is on a little dangly swirly.

0:12:25 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. And I mean, the the Keurig has been wonderful, I I would say What

0:12:31 Unknown Speaker #3

about the new pullout? I mean, we used to sleep taco style on that pull out you and me, Todd. I think you remember. And now I forget,

0:12:39 Unknown Speaker #4

i don't have Alzheimer.

0:12:40 Unknown Speaker #2

Of course being you too sleeping with lettuce tomato, sour cream cheese cheese, absolutely, tomato, if we're lucky. But, yeah, the keurig's really good.

0:12:51 Unknown Speaker #1

We do what you call a 10 pass. Yeah. I was gonna say, we soup

0:12:54 Unknown Speaker #2

we

0:12:55 Unknown Speaker #1

souped it up or sort of what most people call a reverse soup up, where

0:12:58 Unknown Speaker #3

so you

0:12:58 Unknown Speaker #2

run 10 cups through 1 k cup and then you take the tenth cup. Yes.

0:13:02 Unknown Speaker #4

And we just soup it up to those last 5 cups are chowders. So it's really extracting any sort of the -- Yes. -- the depth from the cup so that it's really Color wise, what would you all say? It's kind of a francine colored coffee, but Right. Yes.

0:13:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. It looks a

0:13:20 Unknown Speaker #4

lot like France saying see through. Yeah. But we love a remodel. We all went we love going to Home Depot. I think 1 day we what? 25 trips back and forth on me, but because we kept not just

0:13:32 Unknown Speaker #1

measuring I told you multiple times. I was like, why don't we just measure the space between

0:13:38 Unknown Speaker #4

when

0:13:39 Unknown Speaker #2

you wanna get it on Home Depot, walk out the door. Don't get it. Don't do any prep. Don't measure. Don't get there. Get there as fast as you can.

0:13:49 Unknown Speaker #5

And

0:13:49 Unknown Speaker #4

we are I I am nothing if not shy around a Home Depot employee. I am following 1 around, wondering if I should ask for help. You know? Yeah.

0:13:58 Unknown Speaker #5

Just

0:13:58 Unknown Speaker #2

get in there, Todd. Just get in there. You gotta do it, but you never wanna interrupt. No.

0:14:03 Unknown Speaker #3

You had a real Will They won't they with the Home Depot employee around the toilets.

0:14:07 Unknown Speaker #4

That's absolutely right. Is

0:14:09 Unknown Speaker #2

he gonna

0:14:09 Unknown Speaker #3

say anything? Is he not? And you could feel the tension with the Home Depot in play. Like, did he wanna help you? Did he not?

0:14:15 Unknown Speaker #4

It was very deep. We ended up doing a bachelor style who who's gonna ask thumb depot.

0:14:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Right. Yeah. Chris Harrison was there, and occasionally somebody will come in. Do you mind if I grab him for a sec. I just need to go look at washers. And you, of course, you had a you actually got

0:14:33 Unknown Speaker #4

a 1 on 1. I did. I had a 1 With the lumber man. With the lumber man, which was really nice while we ended up walking through the Clorox wipes section.

0:14:44 Unknown Speaker #2

That is so rubbish. Oh, that's back there by the toilet. That are usually stained to hell blown out. Well, yeah. They well, they've started using the model

0:14:53 Unknown Speaker #4

toiling to the Home Depot. Well, they have They do.

0:14:57 Unknown Speaker #2

They do the they go back there and they test out different acids to get off diarrhea construction worker diarrhea stands.

0:15:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. But, you know, I feel, ultimately, I'm not comfortable on a home depot unless I am 5 steps behind my dad wondering where we're going right far. He's not gonna get the wrong thing and blow up that. So I kind of just didn't there. And I'm a I am a moon without a planet. You know what I mean?

0:15:27 Unknown Speaker #5

I've

0:15:28 Unknown Speaker #4

got nobody to revolve around. I, of course, will find a dad and kind of see an are you my father's situation?

0:15:35 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah. That's 1 of the best

0:15:36 Unknown Speaker #3

of Home Depot. It's all the helpful guys there who will just tell you what you want without asking

0:15:36 Unknown Speaker #5

parts

0:15:40 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. Yeah. It's what Yeah. There's

0:15:42 Unknown Speaker #2

no judgment of your skills as a handyman when you ask that question. You're using a luck

0:15:49 Unknown Speaker #3

i can't tell you and I don't know what this is, but every time I go to home depot, I hear a lot of -- Yes. -- right when I walk past people.

0:15:57 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. Yes. But, Todd, you will never have to worry if your dad likes you ever again because

0:16:06 Unknown Speaker #1

he is dead. Well,

0:16:10 Unknown Speaker #2

just big noose. Big noose. We we quickly wanna say, Todd's dad, died this we don't have to spend we're fresh from the funeral We wanna quickly get it out there, make Todd feel better, then move right on. The oldest man in the world died this week. He was very private. He did not want Guinness over there, but just so everyone knows, Your dad was a hundred and 43

0:16:33 Unknown Speaker #4

this week when he passed. Years young. And my light, my love, he was everything. And

0:16:40 Unknown Speaker #2

speaking of a calcium, He did pass away from a a Feelinging

0:16:45 Unknown Speaker #4

an orange. Yeah.

0:16:47 Unknown Speaker #2

He he peeled to death. He loaded. Here The orange actually peeled him. The orange in the

0:16:55 Unknown Speaker #4

in 1 good deal, too. Yeah.

0:16:57 Unknown Speaker #3

That's what's incredible. Yeah. To give it up to you. We found Todd

0:17:00 Unknown Speaker #2

in the stomach of an orange, being digested underneath the house.

0:17:04 Unknown Speaker #5

And

0:17:04 Unknown Speaker #4

me and the orange bared the hatchet quickly and for Gabe

0:17:08 Unknown Speaker #2

the orange is here. Say hello, Orange. Hello. He brought his wife. Hello, Regina. No.

0:17:15 Unknown Speaker #1

He's my husband.

0:17:16 Unknown Speaker #5

Okay,

0:17:17 Unknown Speaker #2

hush. We said I'm sorry. Shut up oranges. You wanted to come watch, shit because you killed his dad, dog.

0:17:27 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. I I have already extended quite an olive branch let you come watch this podcast. Now you're fucking trying to take over? You

0:17:34 Unknown Speaker #1

let olive branch come? Shut up. You're a big fan.

0:17:38 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh,

0:17:38 Unknown Speaker #2

my

0:17:39 Unknown Speaker #4

well, thank you very much. Hello. It's me. You're all the friends.

0:17:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, Jesus.

0:17:43 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. We should also announce that Bill Cravely's mom was killed by all of

0:17:48 Unknown Speaker #2

so, of course, I extended an olive branch to the olive branch. My mom was cold pressed into an oil by this olive

0:18:00 Unknown Speaker #4

breast. Yes. She was used

0:18:02 Unknown Speaker #5

for

0:18:02 Unknown Speaker #3

a very

0:18:03 Unknown Speaker #4

delicious Vakacha.

0:18:05 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, my god. Which we had at tomatoes. We ate at tomatoes.

0:18:12 Unknown Speaker #1

Jamaica, of course, the Italian restaurant right next to Pikinis.

0:18:18 Unknown Speaker #3

I'll tell you what, there is not a better 1 2 punch in town -- Mhmm. -- than having big fat pasta tomatoes and then sliding right

0:18:25 Unknown Speaker #5

coolest

0:18:25 Unknown Speaker #1

back. Well, the

0:18:26 Unknown Speaker #1

thing that they started doing is is bikinis has started letting you order from tomatoes. And tomatoes will deliver You can bring tomatoes into bikinis, and it's so good. And

0:18:35 Unknown Speaker #5

sometimes

0:18:36 Unknown Speaker #4

even though it's a short drive, I don't wanna make the drive. So I'll have I'll put it in the order through cars, and they'll bring you right

0:18:42 Unknown Speaker #5

up.

0:18:47 Unknown Speaker #1

Anyway, lots of talk Anyway Anyway, we went on real quick though. Before we got sidetracked

0:18:53 Unknown Speaker #2

talking about your dad's recent dad. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

0:18:55 Unknown Speaker #5

anyway.

0:18:55 Unknown Speaker #4

We digress

0:18:58 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh. No. Just turn that off. You're not gonna grieve here on air. It's fine. Okay. Shut it down. Turn it off, Todd. Shut that down.

0:19:06 Unknown Speaker #4

Hey. If there's anything I could do well, it's shut down my emotion based on the reviews of all my plays.

0:19:14 Unknown Speaker #2

But, Todd, t p feminist, this week got a huge viral vid. And it and it seems I know your name is Todd Padre. But there was a toilet paper theme. So what you usually do, which people are now doing, when you start getting made fun of online or sort of lampooned, you embrace the joke. Absolutely. And you are calling yourself the toilet paper feminist now?

0:19:40 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. I have nothing if not aware of when I'm a joke. Mhmm. And so I was getting a lot of likes for TP feminist and I thought it was my feminist content, but a lot of it was people reposting my videos and adding long toilet paper to everything I

0:19:54 Unknown Speaker #2

was doing. Right. Who is this

0:19:55 Unknown Speaker #4

woke mommy? Stuff like that. By the way, mummies can be mummies now, which is a feminist thing that I'm kinda That's that's

0:20:02 Unknown Speaker #3

really groundbreaking.

0:20:03 Unknown Speaker #4

I because lot of not a lot of people were saying that in Egypt. No. Right. The Egyptians were some of the most misogynistic pastors.

0:20:11 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. Why do you think

0:20:12 Unknown Speaker #2

they built this pyramid? To yes. Man

0:20:15 Unknown Speaker #3

only club. To keep the mommies out.

0:20:17 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. Her kids were the original bikinis. We all knew that. King tut loved bikini style classic. Yes. Yeah. But

0:20:26 Unknown Speaker #5

anyway,

0:20:26 Unknown Speaker #4

yes. So I have embraced it, and I am doing mostly toilet paper and feminist content inter interjected with each other.

0:20:34 Unknown Speaker #2

And you've been you have been invited and actually participated in a couple of collabs with famous TikTok. Yeah? Yes. I collabed with Ted Cruz.

0:20:47 Unknown Speaker #4

You just got the shit beat out of you by Jake Paul. Right? Yes. So Jake Paul and I did a collab where I tried to the whole idea is I'm trying to explain to him toilet paper.

0:20:58 Unknown Speaker #3

Not feminism. Well, but this was the crazy thing. He had no idea what you were

0:21:02 Unknown Speaker #2

talking about. I feel like the feminism part is really getting dropped in some of the new videos, and you're you're really talking about toilet But

0:21:11 Unknown Speaker #3

when the audience likes you for something, you can't just go giving them something else right away. You gotta do some toilet paper material, and then, yeah, you

0:21:18 Unknown Speaker #1

i mean, you really mean with the toilet paper material and then you drop the

0:21:22 Unknown Speaker #4

feminism. And I'm getting sponsorship deals from Charmin. Feminism isn't giving me a sponsorship deal. I'll talking about it if I make money. That's right now, Charmin's reaching out.

0:21:30 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right.

0:21:31 Unknown Speaker #1

That's a great perspective. Only

0:21:33 Unknown Speaker #2

talking about social

0:21:33 Unknown Speaker #1

issues if you're gonna make

0:21:35 Unknown Speaker #2

and you actually just reaching out? Why Yes.

0:21:37 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, my gosh. Why these if that deal goes through, I'm gonna buy a new toilet. But

0:21:42 Unknown Speaker #2

you but I saw you are you are thinking about signing with -- Yeah. -- what's it yes. Yes.

0:21:54 Unknown Speaker #4

Porta potty toilet paper -- Yes. I am. -- specifically. Specifically. Well, there's a lot of offers out there, and I haven't -- Right. -- I haven't signed any deals right now. Right. But when it comes down to it, which toilet paper have I used and needed the most amount?

0:22:10 Unknown Speaker #2

Right. Right. And it's

0:22:12 Unknown Speaker #4

that's really sad. I go on

0:22:13 Unknown Speaker #4

construction sites

0:22:13 Unknown Speaker #5

of

0:22:14 Unknown Speaker #1

and I'll steal the toilet paper for the board. Well, I am really proud of

0:22:18 Unknown Speaker #3

you for the new way that your TikToks are being distributed. Kind of like at the gas station, where you have TV at the pump.

0:22:23 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. TikTok at the pump. Right? Well, TikTok at the porta potty. Yes. Andy Gump approached you personally. Right?

0:22:29 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes.

0:22:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Andy is a fantastic great business been a little prickly. But but but really really knows

0:22:36 Unknown Speaker #1

business. And he started a new thing called TikTok in the gum. Yes.

0:22:39 Unknown Speaker #4

It's TikTok in the gump. So what it is is I will come into your toilet with you and I will hold my TikToks in front of you while you're making this So

0:22:46 Unknown Speaker #1

he can install little screens or anything. It's it's a personal 1

0:22:50 Unknown Speaker #4

on 1 Well, we're talking about that. But it's very I don't know if you noticed. It's very expensive for the stock and stock TVs a poor Especially, poor

0:22:56 Unknown Speaker #2

guy, because you need to be able to hose those down.

0:22:58 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. But Andy Gumpus, I mean, he's filthy sense of humor, really, We all I don't know if you know this, but Andy obviously short for Will Andrew. So -- Right. -- I've gotten to know on a first name basis. We have dinner together. His whole kitchen is porta potty stuff.

0:23:17 Unknown Speaker #3

Wow. That's really cool. When you find that works His whole house

0:23:21 Unknown Speaker #2

is plastic. It kinda slides around.

0:23:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Every room is a little small building. You go

0:23:26 Unknown Speaker #3

so so his house is made up of a bunch of little porta potties with the tell me there's a few holes

0:23:31 Unknown Speaker #4

cut for walls and, you know, like a hallway. Well, holes he I think he found that if you see a hole in 1 of those, you think it's only got 1 use So people were misusing the whole -- Right. -- or I don't wanna get disgusting but there's shits in their pisses. And so he said, okay, no holes, no windows. Right. Right. Yeah. So Awesome. But, yeah, TP feminist has taken off, and I I don't wanna get rid of the feminist stuff. Right. I've been I have been looking to do more feminist

0:24:01 Unknown Speaker #3

times. You have to, but you don't want to. But yeah.

0:24:04 Unknown Speaker #1

As I was gonna say speaking of of porta potties, I did wanna just sorta get out ahead of it. Everybody's aware that this this week, there was a sort of They're calling you to rally. It was sort of the size of convention, though. It was kind of a an anti anti Howard Lexus rally.

0:24:23 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah. That was It's called

0:24:24 Unknown Speaker #1

liar liar liar, jeans on fire. Yeah. It was apparently apparently, the information that this guy who is anonymous source was sort of holding -- Yes. -- it leaked this week and people are get have this idea in their head that I'm not actually

0:24:39 Unknown Speaker #2

related to the

0:24:40 Unknown Speaker #1

levi's family that I'm actually a member of the Lee family, the inspiration for the little figurine.

0:24:45 Unknown Speaker #4

You're the little greebel. And I have to apologize Jyes, I which I always do when I do something wrong. The episode I edited, I turned up some private information very loud when I thought it was turned down and some people are using that as evidence against you. But that's parody.

0:25:03 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. Exactly. This podcast is not news or or or or or reality. This podcast is satire. We're playing exaggerated versions of our sell -- Yes. -- to sort of make to to for comedy, we know this is funny we're trying to goof around. I the audio that you all heard on the episode is not real. And I know that that audio has sort of inspired people to do their own research, quote unquote, and go online and find pictures of me as a young boy. Standing next to the Lee family family gatherings. But

0:25:38 Unknown Speaker #1

me ask you this. Yeah.

0:25:38 Unknown Speaker #5

let

0:25:40 Unknown Speaker #2

What does this change about you? That's the question that I like that. So even better. You're you're part of a slightly less Huge family.

0:25:52 Unknown Speaker #4

What it changes is our trust in this country. A man can say whatever is he wants about himself and people have to believe

0:25:58 Unknown Speaker #3

yes. Right? How dare you, Bill?

0:25:59 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. How dare you?

0:26:01 Unknown Speaker #2

And shit. Oh, that's fair. That is fair. Shame on me. Yeah. Shame on

0:26:08 Unknown Speaker #4

me. Shane. 2 fingers. Right? It can be against each other like you're trying to start a fire. Shane.

0:26:14 Unknown Speaker #2

Shame on my way. She was really

0:26:16 Unknown Speaker #3

feeling for you this week. I cannot believe how much it must have hurt to have your name which we don't know if it's true or not, drug through the

0:26:25 Unknown Speaker #1

mud light. Yeah.

0:26:25 Unknown Speaker #2

You took some heat online, and we were all busy when it came time to sort of, like I

0:26:31 Unknown Speaker #1

was or I

0:26:35 Unknown Speaker #4

was supposed to go peel an orange for my dad and I got distracted. All what this stuff was

0:26:39 Unknown Speaker #1

happening. Mhmm. But I organized a little sort of counter protest across the street from this rally, this anti Elvis rally, you know, a little cordoned off, part of the sidewalk, I came Did you

0:26:49 Unknown Speaker #2

say Cordoned off? Cordoned off? James Cordon.

0:26:51 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Yes. Stick Cordon said I wanna part of the side rocking, as you know, if he's doing that, people will go around.

0:26:57 Unknown Speaker #1

But I was really honestly disappointed in the the turnout. I was expecting at least 4 attendees

0:27:05 Unknown Speaker #2

we were so busy. It was so busy. We were busy. This was a

0:27:08 Unknown Speaker #1

huge deal. I don't know. I was trying to

0:27:10 Unknown Speaker #2

convince my mother not to go to an Italian cooking class.

0:27:14 Unknown Speaker #4

Did it work?

0:27:15 Unknown Speaker #2

No. She died and got squashed up into olive oil. That's

0:27:18 Unknown Speaker #4

right. Moving on. Sorry. It's

0:27:20 Unknown Speaker #1

just But Howard It's just it's just tough to be in a position where you don't feel trust anymore because that has also bled into my personal life and sort of my life here at the school. As you guys know, I have been sort of we'll say shadow band from working on the alumni event. They don't want me to be directly involved. My name's been expunged from any sort of document that connects me to the event. And so You've

0:27:47 Unknown Speaker #4

been left off all the emails?

0:27:49 Unknown Speaker #1

I I have. It's been I've been really isolated. And in a year of so much isolation, this last week has really

0:27:56 Unknown Speaker #1

really done something to you, guys.

0:27:56 Unknown Speaker #5

has

0:27:58 Unknown Speaker #4

--

0:27:58 Unknown Speaker #2

society was opening back up, you are off. It yeah. Power shot. I

0:27:58 Unknown Speaker #2

power.

0:28:04 Unknown Speaker #4

feel for you. And I just want to I wanna say something and III don't know how it's gonna be met but I am trying to be open. Okay. If Everyone rejects you and you organize a big event no 1 comes. Is this is the reflection on the people in your life? Or is that a mirror you should be looking into? That's a very good question. Shitter. Obviously, we love we love the shit out of you, brother. I mean, My man. Yeah. In private -- We love you. -- we love you.

0:28:36 Unknown Speaker #2

As long as nobody asks us

0:28:38 Unknown Speaker #4

about you I love with you how Can I have a off my fuck with my

0:28:41 Unknown Speaker #2

kids? I fucks with Howard. Well,

0:28:43 Unknown Speaker #1

listen. I just wanna say, III don't mean to be confrontational, and I know Bill, and Todd both had very valid reasons not to be there. But Sam, I just wanna say, I watched a little bit of the live feed from the rally Yeah. And I'll just say, someone went up for speech, who I'll just say You're talking about the

0:29:05 Unknown Speaker #3

entry leftist rally?

0:29:07 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes.

0:29:08 Unknown Speaker #3

There

0:29:08 Unknown Speaker #2

was no 1 who went Somebody was there promoting drugs, prescription drugs.

0:29:15 Unknown Speaker #1

It seemed like they were and I'll just say it as bluntly

0:29:18 Unknown Speaker #2

as possible. I know that you were there. I know that you were part Somebody was there with Ocrevis. This hurts. Somebody was there showing off the new -- This

0:29:28 Unknown Speaker #3

hurt. -- oh, Crievous. Yeah. Well, we all had really important things to do that day. Of course. I had I don't know. If you saw the video, I had to hold Ocrievus' leash there. I had to make sure -- Right. He was at the busiest place in town, hawking his Ocrevis.

0:29:44 Unknown Speaker #1

Right. Hey.

0:29:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Get that everybody The brand new cholesterol slash depression medication, that is just got FDA approval. It is a man who holds a jawbreaker of medicine that you lick once a day, do not lick our grooves for more than 30 minutes.

0:30:05 Unknown Speaker #4

And the FDA is fully dangerous animal man. Right?

0:30:10 Unknown Speaker #3

That's what they're ranked him. That's right. That's right. And don't forget you to summon him, you say, oh, Creeven.

0:30:17 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. I know all this, Sam. And it doesn't change Don't summon O' Creeven. It's

0:30:21 Unknown Speaker #2

after 9PM.

0:30:22 Unknown Speaker #4

Stuff like that.

0:30:23 Unknown Speaker #3

Because I had to be with Ocrievous that day --

0:30:25 Unknown Speaker #1

i mean, right here. -- because

0:30:27 Unknown Speaker #3

and and again, I love you. I fucks what you have in my

0:30:31 Unknown Speaker #4

house. With My god.

0:30:33 Unknown Speaker #5

But

0:30:34 Unknown Speaker #3

as a new pharmaceutical rep slash COVID denier slash -- Nier. -- well, that's part of me. Slashed COVID responsibility man, I have to go where the people are, because I have to make sure that everybody's getting COVID. And, b, everybody's sharing about a crevasse. Right.

0:30:55 Unknown Speaker #1

I I just I guess, I want you guys all to kinda see this from my perspective. We're the only person throughout all of this who has supported me even for a a second has been a convicted Podra.

0:31:07 Unknown Speaker #1

cream has been a a con a wrongfully convicted serial killer. Oh. The only person in my corner is Chris Craig Crown.

0:31:07 Unknown Speaker #3

No. And no

0:31:14 Unknown Speaker #2

So you're trying to innocence project Chris Craig Crown? I

0:31:19 Unknown Speaker #4

mean, you've really been pushing him ever since his song underneath the bridge. Comma where they're buried.

0:31:26 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah.

0:31:26 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. That Which And they found the body to stop

0:31:29 Unknown Speaker #5

sending

0:31:30 Unknown Speaker #1

us stop sending us a cease and desist, red hot chili peppers. It's so much different than

0:31:33 Unknown Speaker #3

yourself. My thing is, Howard, I love you, and I wanna support you so bad. But when it's only you and a serial killer, I just don't wanna be the first guy to go hang out. If everybody else starts coming, I'll come to

0:31:47 Unknown Speaker #1

so you're saying, so what all saying be the first. You can't be seen with me until I actually -- till public opinion change. -- until I actually sort of exonerate Chris Craig Crown or and this whole levus Lee thing blows over. You guys don't wanna be

0:32:01 Unknown Speaker #2

same boat of canceled? I have you been

0:32:04 Unknown Speaker #1

canceled? I mean, as far as I can they won't let me go into the grocery store. The

0:32:09 Unknown Speaker #2

gas, like, that's cancellation.

0:32:10 Unknown Speaker #3

The Howard, I have the best notes draft. Apology to you that I want to post publicly. Right. But I just am trying to get the wording I'm just editing it so that I could come out in support of you.

0:32:25 Unknown Speaker #4

I have a straight to video blog post. I take a lot of Straight to video blog post. Straight to video.

0:32:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Wait. So it didn't even go into theaters. It won't get it immediately. In a blockbuster. No. We had some issues with distribution. And so this

0:32:40 Unknown Speaker #1

is Be careful.

0:32:41 Unknown Speaker #4

Scarlet Joe hates I'd sue your ass. Oh, well, not might. I'm Scott Dray is suing me because I walked around just calling just for a week. But

0:32:51 Unknown Speaker #3

you in character, in offensive character that you shouldn't be playing? She shouldn't

0:32:51 Unknown Speaker #1

she is suing

0:32:55 Unknown Speaker #4

yes. Well, she's suing me. She's gonna scream aloha in your face.

0:33:02 Unknown Speaker #3

She's suing you as Duke kamehameha for

0:33:04 Unknown Speaker #4

why? Yes. Yes. It's so the case is Scott is Duke kamehameha versus Joseph 2 big hair. I got the big hair. I'm being very smart with my jokes. But I I wanna say the straight to video I I take some deep breaths in there. I think and look away for a second and come

0:33:25 Unknown Speaker #2

back camera. The the background is blurry, but your face is in focus.

0:33:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Very focused. Yeah. So but Howard, I wanna say this to you right here and now. You are my guy. You need something, I will be there first. Oh, sorry. The door opened up. Let me close that.

0:33:41 Unknown Speaker #2

Mhmm. Ouch. Jesus. It's the orange. Shut up, Orange. Wait. So just so I can get this clear, people are angry at you for many reasons. Well, 1 being that you pulled a serial killer, convicted serial killer out of prison, to sing at Kanye's place in Wyoming. You're backing them. You're sort of managing them. They're gonna perform at the

0:34:08 Unknown Speaker #1

i love it. Because I have an alumni.

0:34:10 Unknown Speaker #2

And they're also this is co coinciding with you being outed as part of the Lee's family rather than Levi.

0:34:19 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. And it feels related. It feels like this is this that these people are leaking this this fake information -- Right. -- to try to make me look bad. And

0:34:28 Unknown Speaker #2

well, what about this?

0:34:29 Unknown Speaker #5

What

0:34:29 Unknown Speaker #2

if it what if it was true because it is? Because we said it. Right? You know, like, what if you just came out about it?

0:34:36 Unknown Speaker #1

No. Here's the truth. At the alumni event, at the alumni event, you took my word. You have my word. At the alumni event, I will produce concrete proof that I am a member of the Levi's family.

0:34:47 Unknown Speaker #2

Whoa. I will on stage -- Oh.

0:34:50 Unknown Speaker #1

The alumni banquet. I will get on that stage and I will show everyone concrete proof and how So you're gonna

0:34:55 Unknown Speaker #2

bring your gene certificate.

0:34:57 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm gonna

0:34:57 Unknown Speaker #3

bring my gene some denim

0:34:58 Unknown Speaker #1

proof might really. Yes. Yep. I will bring my jeans my Raw if you could show

0:35:03 Unknown Speaker #2

raw proof of your denim history.

0:35:06 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. I will produce it. I will produce it. Wow. Selvage proof, if you

0:35:11 Unknown Speaker #4

will. Delvage proof. That's huge news. Yeah. That is big. Well, so for everyone who has not responded for the alumni that that's a big sell for it now. Yeah. And also Howard Leads Howard Levis -- Come on God. -- will show proof jeans that he is from the Levi's family.

0:35:29 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm gonna show you And

0:35:30 Unknown Speaker #2

you will also and also, Craig Crown is be exonerated. Great

0:35:35 Unknown Speaker #1

will be exonerated immediately. Yes. He will. It's all gonna happen, folks. Wow. Are you gonna

0:35:35 Unknown Speaker #5

crown

0:35:41 Unknown Speaker #2

show who the murderer is of these people? Because the bodies are dead. If

0:35:44 Unknown Speaker #5

you

0:35:45 Unknown Speaker #3

could solve the crime Howard, I think that would really make me wanna hang out with.

0:35:48 Unknown Speaker #1

Hey. Well, look, I don't know. You're gonna show up. First.

0:35:51 Unknown Speaker #4

I'll be the

0:35:52 Unknown Speaker #3

first guy to hang with you if you solve the crimes. Well,

0:35:54 Unknown Speaker #1

that's that's my the promise I'm making to everyone today. I will prove that I am I am a Levi. And I will also exonerate Chris Craig Crown at the alumni event right before his performance. That is awesome. Your first folks You better show up because you're gonna wanna see it. See,

0:36:11 Unknown Speaker #3

this is the great thing about, hey, the teachers lounge and the alumni event. We're doing great things for the world. Something that I have discovered as the new COVID chief for the school while planning this event is that COVID is a hoax. And there are a lot of good drugs to treat the SIM if you don't get the vacuum. Now

0:36:29 Unknown Speaker #4

that is an interesting sentence to hear from someone you've been alone in a room with for a long time. Yes. Mask off.

0:36:36 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. Goughing

0:36:37 Unknown Speaker #4

and eating. Well, because you this COVID hoke stuff, I am nothing if not open minded. I obviously spent a few years trying to find the end of the flat earth, which everybody remembers nobody this wasn't part of the podcast, but I

0:36:51 Unknown Speaker #2

you did drive your ship off of the edge, but it wasn't the edge of the

0:36:56 Unknown Speaker #4

earth. No. I ended up driving into the Grand Canyon, which is what I found out. Your ship was on a trailer. My ship was on a trailer. I was a pack mule for 6 years till I found my way back

0:37:08 Unknown Speaker #5

up.

0:37:11 Unknown Speaker #3

I forgot about that.

0:37:12 Unknown Speaker #4

You guys do love that for you. But but I People would request your

0:37:16 Unknown Speaker #1

ass. Right? To pick them up and down. Would say

0:37:18 Unknown Speaker #5

1.

0:37:18 Unknown Speaker #4

me a sick

0:37:18 Unknown Speaker #5

give

0:37:22 Unknown Speaker #4

And I would but the thing is, I would I would always have a little tree sent tree hanging from my neck, they liked that, and I do

0:37:28 Unknown Speaker #1

you got fired,

0:37:28 Unknown Speaker #5

well,

0:37:29 Unknown Speaker #3

not because you couldn't do it, but because your your hee haw was too loud.

0:37:37 Unknown Speaker #4

People can stand to ride with me. People can stay without hihah, but I can't hihah at any level other than full volume. I don't know how to.

0:37:44 Unknown Speaker #3

I mean, of the Iads gonna hear it. Do you wanna give us 1 Hihaj?

0:37:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. 2 1. I'm sure you all heard the Hihaj when you saw me and shrek the musical. Parenthesis

0:37:54 Unknown Speaker #5

adapted.

0:37:56 Unknown Speaker #3

It's stolen.

0:37:59 Unknown Speaker #4

But yeah, here's a quickie for everybody.

0:38:06 Unknown Speaker #3

I think it's beautiful.

0:38:06 Unknown Speaker #4

But I digress. Wow. Point being, I have believed a lot of things -- Mhmm. -- but what I do believe is that COVID is real.

0:38:14 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes.

0:38:15 Unknown Speaker #4

Because I was there when it happened. I was

0:38:18 Unknown Speaker #2

you pushed somebody back to the laboratory. Right?

0:38:20 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. A woman was run okay. So this old lady was running out of a laboratory. And I was visiting the wet markets of Hoonan. To for research for my play wet market man. And a woman was running out saying, we dropped it we dropped it. And I said, well, get away from me, and I I slammed the door so hard. All the windows broke. I don't know what happened after that. But at the point being, I believe in this stuff. I was sick exactly. Fucking dog -- Mhmm. -- for a couple months. Right. Right. And people are dying, Sam. I can't I can't abide this sort of

0:38:54 Unknown Speaker #2

failure. You have to give

0:38:56 Unknown Speaker #3

people their own choice. You can't just make people take something. You can't make them take the facts. You can't make them take me home if I can't drive or something. You can't make people do anything. Well, but some things,

0:39:10 Unknown Speaker #4

you know, we make people I I don't know if you've heard this analogy because I just thought of it. You make people wear a seat belt in their

0:39:16 Unknown Speaker #5

cars.

0:39:17 Unknown Speaker #4

What? Yeah.

0:39:19 Unknown Speaker #3

That's what you have to face up. Change everything? That's really smart. Keep going. That changed everything?

0:39:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Not quite. Okay. Well, look, I I did you have a point, Bill? Yeah.

0:39:27 Unknown Speaker #2

But they just put the seat belt and on and behind them. See? Okay. So it's just you put the seat belt there, but how do you

0:39:34 Unknown Speaker #1

know they were? Of a car A car is the person who punishes you for not wearing a seat belt, so you're tricking your car by putting

0:39:42 Unknown Speaker #2

seat belt. That. You gotta always trick the car.

0:39:44 Unknown Speaker #3

The cop flashing Flashing

0:39:47 Unknown Speaker #2

a check engine light. Not thinking about any

0:39:49 Unknown Speaker #3

yeah. Just a table somebody out. Exactly.

0:39:52 Unknown Speaker #4

look, I agree with you on some of this. I mean, I'm always we know this. I'm leaning under a sneeze guard at a salad bar if I have to sneeze. Right. There are some rules that are made to be broken this affects other people. I'm immunocompromised. I have what doctors call near death. So

0:39:52 Unknown Speaker #5

Exact

0:40:09 Unknown Speaker #3

i know that.

0:40:09 Unknown Speaker #4

You need to take care this is about not being selfish. And I'm so uncertain.

0:40:13 Unknown Speaker #3

Todd, I have great news for you. For those who don't want to take the vaccine, I am developing a cocktail. I'll take it. A COVID cocktail. That costs 300 times what the vaccine does. Currently, the vaccine is about a dollar -- Uh-huh.

0:40:28 Unknown Speaker #5

--

0:40:28 Unknown Speaker #3

for me. So it's 300 dollars free, but I'm sold to it. A 300 dollar cocktail. It's a 300 dollar COVID cocktail.

0:40:35 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. And before a prophylactic or once you got it? What are you talking about? Before you get it to prevent it, or you take it like You

0:40:42 Unknown Speaker #3

can drink this thing anytime you want. Oh, okay. It's a

0:40:44 Unknown Speaker #1

drink after longer. Yeah.

0:40:45 Unknown Speaker #3

It's a dirty Martina. Okay.

0:40:47 Unknown Speaker #2

Close. Oh, I've had these at bikinis. Yeah. Other than, I'm fine. I'm fine. Yes. For

0:40:52 Unknown Speaker #3

those who don't wanna get vaccinated, there's a very expensive COVID cocktail that I am selling on my website. And you can take it and you won't be sick. I

0:41:01 Unknown Speaker #4

will take a dirty if we could right now, I would take a dirties COVID martini right

0:41:06 Unknown Speaker #1

now and

0:41:07 Unknown Speaker #4

drink it up. Just to loosen my lips a little bit

0:41:11 Unknown Speaker #2

easier. Yeah. Let's

0:41:12 Unknown Speaker #2

cOVID cocktails and then come back refresh. That's really smart.

0:41:12 Unknown Speaker #5

take

0:41:16 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. Make yourself a cocktail at home with whatever you have in the wet bar.

0:41:21 Unknown Speaker #5

Yes.

0:41:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Well we're back from the break we're a little tipsy off of COVID cocktails.

0:41:27 Unknown Speaker #1

so much. But protected.

0:41:27 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Thank you

0:41:29 Unknown Speaker #4

To Yes. But tipsy but protected that And I thought I've been on TikTok a lot lately, not just posting but scrolling through and I've I've seen some Your FYP? For your pain? Yeah. You know me. Asshole.

0:41:45 Unknown Speaker #3

todd. No.

0:41:45 Unknown Speaker #5

Whoa,

0:41:46 Unknown Speaker #4

You know me. What did you say? No. It's them.

0:41:48 Unknown Speaker #1

The hashtag on on TikTok where people do it so it gets it has a variety of stuff. Did

0:41:53 Unknown Speaker #4

you think that stood for fuck you, Padra? Yes. People were running around screaming FYP for 40 years.

0:42:01 Unknown Speaker #1

Wasn't that something new?

0:42:03 Unknown Speaker #2

That was way before TikTok. People were saying, fuck you, podrick. It

0:42:06 Unknown Speaker #4

just like TMI was Todd, must Insitter. Yeah. That was a big threat. Yes. Todd, comma, must incinerate. Well, on my for you page is what I was trying to say. You see a lot of people saying, tell you it's become this cool trend. What they do in their day? This

0:42:27 Unknown Speaker #2

is a day

0:42:28 Unknown Speaker #4

in the life of the play a little. So we thought

0:42:34 Unknown Speaker #2

we could

0:42:34 Unknown Speaker #4

do a little day in our lives people wonder, what's it like to be a teacher at Hamilton high school? I

0:42:39 Unknown Speaker #1

mean, most people only have the exposure. The the kids come into the class and they're just, like, they're there for 45 minutes to an hour, and then they're out of there. They don't know

0:42:46 Unknown Speaker #3

what the hell is going on in their life. I see how they see me. Yeah. They see me as some old troll with green skin and long hair. III see how they see me. I'm not that different from you. Hard to believe Your boy Sam was a teacher a a kid once as well. Absolutely. We are not

0:43:04 Unknown Speaker #2

a bunch of weird little goblins with uncut nails and ripped up clothes. Right. When they see us, you know, for example, in the grocery store, it's really shocking to see your teacher in the grocery store.

0:43:16 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. A lot of content. You

0:43:17 Unknown Speaker #2

know, with with green skin rummaging through the flower,

0:43:22 Unknown Speaker #3

hitting it with her hand. Sort of hanging

0:43:24 Unknown Speaker #2

pants at the knee. Yes. Galloping on all fours towards the milk.

0:43:29 Unknown Speaker #1

And it and listen, like, when you see us, you know, we're not the kind of people who are gonna put your child in a coma from seeing our our ghastly faces.

0:43:38 Unknown Speaker #4

That's not us. Right.

0:43:41 Unknown Speaker #5

The middles

0:43:41 Unknown Speaker #3

i do to get to the veg bowls are for fun.

0:43:45 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. The vegetable but look, trolls do riddles to hurt you. Teachers do vegetables riddles to just have a little fun with you and maybe just talk to them a little longer. Yeah. Yeah. So we thought we would just do a little of, like, a day in the life. I don't know if I wants to start. I can started. I don't know.

0:44:02 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, of course, as Sam Weatherman, your driving instructor teacher, I wake up at 1AM. This is just what I do. And I look at myself long and hard in the mirror for about 45 minutes to an hour. Just

0:44:14 Unknown Speaker #4

you in the mirror for 45 minutes to an hour. Yes.

0:44:16 Unknown Speaker #3

1 to 1 1 to 01:45, 2AM. I'm just psyching myself saying, you're okay. You're fine. It's

0:44:22 Unknown Speaker #1

your morning affirmations. It's like those viral videos of the little girl looking in

0:44:25 Unknown Speaker #3

the blue tank. You're beautiful. Affirmations are really important. They're really good for you. So I say, you're okay. You're fine. You're not everything you people think of you. Right. You're not a slob. Uh-huh. You're not --

0:44:40 Unknown Speaker #4

unlovable. --

0:44:41 Unknown Speaker #3

deathly dangerous to be around because of your emotional volatility. Uh-huh. You're fine. What about coffee? So then I go downstairs. Eventually, coffee will hit my brain. Nice. Then I'll go downstairs and say, forgot the coffee again, idiot. You know you don't keep coffee in the house. This is so stupid. You do this every freaking day. And then I go, day. Days and 4 hours. Gotta go back to bed.

0:45:06 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, okay.

0:45:06 Unknown Speaker #3

So so now it's 2 02:30.

0:45:09 Unknown Speaker #2

So you get up screaming yourself in the mirror, realize you don't have any coffee and you go back

0:45:13 Unknown Speaker #4

i think you stay the only way you're going back to sleep is in the middle of yelling yourself. You mentioned a word that reminds you that daytime will come up soon.

0:45:19 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right. Okay. Well, this is my routine. Yes. Of course. Yes. Yes. Every day. All

0:45:23 Unknown Speaker #2

of our issues. This is not a a just an act occasional No.

0:45:26 Unknown Speaker #3

This is David. So then I have 06:30. I've been asleep for about another 4 hours. I hit the snooze button 10 times.

0:45:32 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. Yeah. Last week, you said you wake up at 9 or 2 hours late school.

0:45:35 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Yeah. At 07:30,

0:45:36 Unknown Speaker #5

it

0:45:37 Unknown Speaker #3

would be the perfect time to rush to school. I take a few sleeping pills. I take a few sleeping pills. Then I wake up at 9 zonked out, completely zonked on queludes or whatever

0:45:47 Unknown Speaker #2

my sleepy pills are. I can't remember. So you take seventies pain medication.

0:45:51 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. Do you go to sleep in the far as because I've been

0:45:53 Unknown Speaker #3

having trouble as

0:45:54 Unknown Speaker #2

well. Our mornings are terrible. Morning is late for the mornings.

0:45:58 Unknown Speaker #5

So I

0:45:58 Unknown Speaker #3

get up at 9. I drink 6 red bulls, and I race the bus to school because usually I miss it. So I'm running along

0:46:04 Unknown Speaker #2

time. You miss your own bus. I miss my own bus to school.

0:46:08 Unknown Speaker #3

But you're running off the hill. Side

0:46:09 Unknown Speaker #2

a bus I park on a hill,

0:46:11 Unknown Speaker #3

so I miss it, but it starts going. Okay.

0:46:12 Unknown Speaker #2

So you're running or you're running beside an out of control bus with no person driving? Yeah.

0:46:17 Unknown Speaker #3

It's my routine. Okay. And This

0:46:19 Unknown Speaker #2

isn't something that happens occasionally. Oh,

0:46:21 Unknown Speaker #3

this is my routine.

0:46:22 Unknown Speaker #4

Which is by the way why everyone on Sam's route is on the fastest track and hurdle team the country is because they train every morning trying to catch that bus down the

0:46:29 Unknown Speaker #2

hill. Absolutely. And obviously And they jump

0:46:32 Unknown Speaker #4

over him when he falls. Is that early on Sam rolling dot a hill?

0:46:36 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right. So I get to school around 09:45, 10:00, immediately go to the cafeteria, see if the hash browns are ready. They never are.

0:46:42 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, it's they're not ready. It's that they're gone because everybody already ate Well, we're never ready.

0:46:46 Unknown Speaker #3

like, what about tomorrow's hash browns? Do you have any of those yet? And they're not ready? They tell me it's because I come after nutrition break and before lunch.

0:46:46 Unknown Speaker #4

Then I'm

0:46:54 Unknown Speaker #2

this food is not for you. You

0:46:54 Unknown Speaker #5

Right.

0:46:54 Unknown Speaker #1

So they're saying

0:46:56 Unknown Speaker #1

know, you can eat something other than hash browns,

0:46:58 Unknown Speaker #3

but I'm just

0:46:59 Unknown Speaker #1

like the students. All I eat is

0:47:01 Unknown Speaker #2

brown. The mystery out of the the you're just like the students. And

0:47:01 Unknown Speaker #5

hash

0:47:04 Unknown Speaker #3

just like the students, all I eat is hash browns, and then I go home around 01:30 chew. I miss most of the school day, and and I I eat a big hoagie. Well, because I'm starting from the no hash browns, no coffee.

0:47:18 Unknown Speaker #2

Right? You haven't eaten all day.

0:47:20 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Well,

0:47:21 Unknown Speaker #3

oh, I'm I forgot my new pharma meeting. Oh,

0:47:24 Unknown Speaker #4

you pharma

0:47:25 Unknown Speaker #2

meetings. So recently,

0:47:26 Unknown Speaker #3

my day has changed because I have a pharma

0:47:28 Unknown Speaker #1

meeting where I

0:47:28 Unknown Speaker #3

have to try a bunch of samples.

0:47:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Uh-huh. And that's nice. So you're trying different new drugs that are about to be on the

0:47:35 Unknown Speaker #2

market here. So you're fucked up on Queludes trying drugs during the day?

0:47:39 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. I want to Right. Bottle. It can be hard to find related.

0:47:42 Unknown Speaker #2

Of course. Mhmm.

0:47:44 Unknown Speaker #3

And then, I'm pretty much in a drug stupor until 1 in the morning. When you wake up. Well, I wake up and and look at myself in the mirror again.

0:47:53 Unknown Speaker #1

So that's horrible. Wow. That's sounds like a packed day -- Wow. That is. -- if you're if any of the

0:47:59 Unknown Speaker #2

super routine.

0:48:00 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. This isn't 1 to mimic, folks. I think this is 1 Leave this

0:48:03 Unknown Speaker #3

to the trainwreck. Each other's

0:48:05 Unknown Speaker #1

routine. No. No. No. Let me hear how you put on

0:48:07 Unknown Speaker #2

your pants in the morning. I would. Do you do them 1 leg at a

0:48:10 Unknown Speaker #1

time? I woulda guessed. Nope. You wanna hear walk you

0:48:13 Unknown Speaker #2

through my day in my day. It's

0:48:14 Unknown Speaker #1

very, very, very, very normal. Well, obviously, I wake up around 06:00 in the morning. Okay. I go out on the front stoop and take a sip of coffee while I grab the morning paper. Okay. I go back inside, go into the bathroom,

0:48:29 Unknown Speaker #2

so you have coffee already made? You get sort of like a I have a

0:48:33 Unknown Speaker #1

timer. Yeah. I've been trying to get you guys to this timer thing

0:48:36 Unknown Speaker #4

here. No. Robots in my house.

0:48:39 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, period. The school isn't your house, Todd. It shouldn't be. Oh,

0:48:42 Unknown Speaker #4

you're doing the coffee machine.

0:48:44 Unknown Speaker #1

At my own home. Okay. I didn't know

0:48:47 Unknown Speaker #2

we were drinking coffee before we all got here, but I

0:48:49 Unknown Speaker #1

also, we're judging each other's coffee habits.

0:48:52 Unknown Speaker #4

No. I just thought I had, like, a kind of written drink. I'm doing wrong.

0:48:55 Unknown Speaker #3

You judge my routine.

0:48:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Go ahead. So you've got the funny pages and you're

0:48:59 Unknown Speaker #5

on

0:48:59 Unknown Speaker #1

the job. I get it. I take my morning toilet. And I sit in there, you know, just sort of relaxing, getting ready for the day, breathing in, breathing in, breathing

0:49:09 Unknown Speaker #2

in the what?

0:49:11 Unknown Speaker #1

I have I have my own ventilation system, so the air is really good. Oh, really? What do you mean your own ventilation system? It's so own ventilation?

0:49:20 Unknown Speaker #2

You're talking about breathing and farting. That's your own ventilation, so because

0:49:23 Unknown Speaker #1

when I was sort of into your bathroom,

0:49:24 Unknown Speaker #3

there was a little sort of, like, you know, the the oxygen the oxygen you wear where it goes into your knock trolls. Yeah. It's got 2 little holes that go show up in an offshore. Well,

0:49:32 Unknown Speaker #1

yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna sit in there without it.

0:49:35 Unknown Speaker #3

But it was connected to the toilet.

0:49:37 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, so you have toilet o 2. What do you mean you have toilet 02I

0:49:42 Unknown Speaker #1

use T02. What do you mean? I use T02. Listen, I know it's a bad deal, but it gives me good energy. And then so

0:49:50 Unknown Speaker #5

well,

0:49:51 Unknown Speaker #2

what's it where's it coming from?

0:49:52 Unknown Speaker #1

From the bowl? Oh.

0:49:55 Unknown Speaker #3

You're separate Is there get it there. You just You're separating the toilet water from the air. You

0:49:59 Unknown Speaker #1

guys just don't understand how air filtration works. Okay? You a lot of times

0:50:03 Unknown Speaker #2

so h number 2 0, you have in the toilet. Is that what you have?

0:50:07 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. You guys just don't understand.

0:50:12 Unknown Speaker #1

guys just don't understand hair filtration

0:50:12 Unknown Speaker #4

You

0:50:14 Unknown Speaker #3

is right. Tree of

0:50:15 Unknown Speaker #2

h boo in the

0:50:16 Unknown Speaker #1

grid. I used both T02. Okay.

0:50:19 Unknown Speaker #2

To explain to us how your T02 at your house works because it seems to me like there's just it seems to me like there's just a pipe that goes from the toilet bowl to your nose.

0:50:32 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, if you would let me explain and stop laughing at me, you would understand it. We're laughing with you. So what? Happens is it's a regular toilet. Okay? It's just a regular

0:50:42 Unknown Speaker #2

toilet. Right. I put

0:50:44 Unknown Speaker #1

a 1 way valve coming out of the sort of right side of the right side of the toilet. Below

0:50:48 Unknown Speaker #5

the

0:50:49 Unknown Speaker #1

water in the bowl. The bowl or the the back? It comes out of the bowl. And it comes out there it's it's below the water line, but then that line runs through a filtration system that separates the total

0:51:01 Unknown Speaker #2

water. The the hydrogen and Yes. It separates

0:51:04 Unknown Speaker #1

it out into pure T02. Pure T02, which then goes through another purifier to be to

0:51:12 Unknown Speaker #3

alkali T03. To

0:51:14 Unknown Speaker #2

to to to alkalize it -- Uh-huh. -- analyze the oxygen. So you drink

0:51:18 Unknown Speaker #3

the water, the

0:51:20 Unknown Speaker #1

air that comes from square. Is there a is there a mouse 3. Yes. It kinda looks like a scuba situation where you have the mouth part. And then the 2 little oxygen prongs to go to

0:51:30 Unknown Speaker #4

your house. Relax I look with your coffee and your newspaper with a mouthpiece.

0:51:36 Unknown Speaker #2

Toilet water and breathing toilet oxygen. T o too. Yes.

0:51:41 Unknown Speaker #4

And it's true. I

0:51:42 Unknown Speaker #1

know. It sounds weird, but you guys just haven't tried it. Oh, you drink the HP0L

0:51:46 Unknown Speaker #3

and you breathe the T0P. She's

0:51:48 Unknown Speaker #4

really not that hard done. Actually,

0:51:49 Unknown Speaker #3

howard, I totally get it. That makes it smart.

0:51:52 Unknown Speaker #2

This is, like, high level scientific because you're obviously the biology teacher, so you I

0:51:56 Unknown Speaker #1

don't I don't But my didn't get my degree in in in organic biology. This explains

0:52:04 Unknown Speaker #2

your This explains your your infomercials --

0:52:09 Unknown Speaker #1

yes. -- the

0:52:10 Unknown Speaker #2

your your toy

0:52:11 Unknown Speaker #4

i have always needed an explanation, and this because I'll flip

0:52:14 Unknown Speaker #2

past them. I'll be like, oh, yeah. How is information? I will never watch it.

0:52:17 Unknown Speaker #4

And this is Well, it's like, has this ever happened to you and did someone sitting on a toilet with nothing on their face going? Oh, yuck. Well, it's like,

0:52:17 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah.

0:52:24 Unknown Speaker #3

you know how your friend produces a full infomercial, but you just kinda never quite

0:52:27 Unknown Speaker #2

feel like we're watching. Yes. I'll just be like, oh, yes. Howard's infomercial change it,

0:52:31 Unknown Speaker #2

And we're like, oh, hurry.

0:52:31 Unknown Speaker #5

really.

0:52:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Cool. If you guys because I don't wanna

0:52:34 Unknown Speaker #2

comment on it to him.

0:52:35 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. If you watch the whole commercially, it would all make a whole lot of sense.

0:52:38 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. We find stick around for you. Yeah. Because it's airing all the time. And I'll see it. I'll I'll flip actually past it once it's, like, 10 minutes in. There's

0:52:48 Unknown Speaker #1

a lot of pressure to respond more because hot Yes.

0:52:50 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. I'm like, I don't know what to say because all I see is your naked body sitting on the toilet, breathing in and drinking.

0:52:55 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, I'm on 10:30PM waiting for a girl's gone wild commercial to hopefully pop up. Maybe I was

0:53:02 Unknown Speaker #1

just gonna give their 1. I actually basically asked him if I could replace the girl's gone wild commercials because I think it's the same target demo. It's the same target

0:53:10 Unknown Speaker #4

demo. I'm so angry right now. That's why that happened. That's why I can't get my GGW commercials in.

0:53:16 Unknown Speaker #4

Also my old

0:53:16 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. Yeah.

0:53:19 Unknown Speaker #1

girl's on white

0:53:20 Unknown Speaker #4

hole. Well, Howard. Okay. I got your information. You've taken your comp complicated morning. It's constitutional in the bathroom. Yeah. That's so what time is it now?

0:53:30 Unknown Speaker #1

It's about 08:00.

0:53:32 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. So we're

0:53:33 Unknown Speaker #2

all Oh, wow. All You got up at 6UT0

0:53:37 Unknown Speaker #1

for an hour. Well, if you don't let it filter if you don't well, let it filter long enough, then you end up inhaling and and swallowing

0:53:45 Unknown Speaker #2

grass. So you have

0:53:46 Unknown Speaker #3

to brew it for a while, but it filters like

0:53:48 Unknown Speaker #1

it's like when you're filtering camp when you're out camping and you're filtering your water.

0:53:52 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay. You have to

0:53:53 Unknown Speaker #1

let it sort of sit for a minute. You can't just, you

0:53:55 Unknown Speaker #3

know Right. Howard screw the Levi's once you introduce the new thing.

0:54:00 Unknown Speaker #2

I Once you've drank most of the toilets water. You had

0:54:03 Unknown Speaker #4

the school where you

0:54:04 Unknown Speaker #1

there's plenty left at the end, by the way. But no. Yeah. I get the car. Actually, that's really Oh, yeah. And that's sometimes what I'll say. I'll keep sometimes when I flip by,

0:54:15 Unknown Speaker #2

i'll go back by. You know, like looking for

0:54:18 Unknown Speaker #1

porn. And you'll see me. And I because I there's plenty left. I stand up. And I'll flash. I stand up from the toilet. I look in there and say, there's plenty left.

0:54:26 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, I never got that because I had seen that, but I thought you were forcing me to keep the toilet. I

0:54:32 Unknown Speaker #4

auditioned for plumber coming over and saying, wow, there's still a lot of water in this toilet. I I don't know who you ended up booking because I won't watch the commercial all

0:54:39 Unknown Speaker #1

the way through the book. I I ended up getting Ron Popeel's son. I thought it was gonna

0:54:44 Unknown Speaker #5

be

0:54:45 Unknown Speaker #1

yeah. Don Popeo, I thought I was gonna have a nice little connection to him, RIP, by the way. He died recently.

0:54:51 Unknown Speaker #2

I win, like, earlier today? Well, he said

0:54:53 Unknown Speaker #3

it, and he forgot it.

0:54:54 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. What did you say? No. You saw

0:54:58 Unknown Speaker #1

but I I so I I got his son thinking, you know, if I get an in with the sort of infomercial king, you might see the product move a little bit better. And as a person who's had some entrepreneurial experience, Bill, I think

0:55:12 Unknown Speaker #4

i know

0:55:12 Unknown Speaker #2

ron. Yeah. I knew Ron. I didn't know he died.

0:55:14 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. He did.

0:55:15 Unknown Speaker #2

But I used to need to talk to him about the beef diaper inventory. He was helping restore most of it. I still got a ton left.

0:55:22 Unknown Speaker #1

But, no. So then I get to school, obviously, feeling good, feeling great. How are you? I then go into my classroom. Obviously, I don't have a homeroom this year. I don't have a first period. They said that they don't wanna have a class that sort of spends every day with me. They want to limit Yeah.

0:55:41 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, they said they want that hour in the morning for your breath to normalize. Wait. Who said that?

0:55:48 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, it's just kinda been

0:55:49 Unknown Speaker #5

passed

0:55:49 Unknown Speaker #4

around on this. Administration.

0:55:50 Unknown Speaker #1

That wasn't. They don't want any children or parents.

0:55:54 Unknown Speaker #4

The across the car. Biomedical

0:55:57 Unknown Speaker #1

people. That wasn't what they told me. They said they wanted they wanted to sort of keep me. They

0:56:01 Unknown Speaker #2

know you're T02 ing for, like, 2

0:56:03 Unknown Speaker #4

hours. Alright. Look, let's just give him an hour to reset that breath. Alright.

0:56:08 Unknown Speaker #3

But they I I mean, I think it's a positive sign that they think you're doing a good job.

0:56:13 Unknown Speaker #2

But they all flip past the commercial too, so they're not exactly sure how clean the process is,

0:56:18 Unknown Speaker #3

which you're explaining. They said right around second period, you do seem to really kick into gear.

0:56:22 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. You like yeah. Yeah. I kinda

0:56:24 Unknown Speaker #1

thought out. Yeah. Yeah. I do. III thought

0:56:26 Unknown Speaker #4

for second period is now your push ups class. Right? That's where everybody comes and watches you try to do push ups?

0:56:31 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, try. Yeah. I'm gonna get 1. But here's the thing. Which is biological. That's And it's it's it's actually it's the lesson plan will change because we're gonna move past physalis You're

0:56:42 Unknown Speaker #2

gonna get 1. No. Not yet. You have no chest. Right?

0:56:45 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. I don't have pectoral muscles, which is Right. A new piece of information that the audience probably didn't know about. But

0:56:52 Unknown Speaker #2

but you're strong. It's not that you're strong. They're spectacles. They're tiny. Right? They're really small. It's not

0:56:57 Unknown Speaker #3

they're weak. It's that he literally doesn't have the muscles

0:56:57 Unknown Speaker #5

that

0:56:59 Unknown Speaker #2

then. Right. Yeah. It's ribcage. It's just

0:57:00 Unknown Speaker #1

exposed. It's just ribcage, then skin. There's nothing on top. But then, you know

0:57:05 Unknown Speaker #2

so you can't, like, whip your arms forward. No. At all.

0:57:09 Unknown Speaker #1

No. If you'll if you'll notice I kind of don't ever do that motion. I don't do any motions that require sort of lateral motion of my arms or anything like that. Right. But then, obviously, I have 3 periods in a row of advanced biology. Which the the Chomping

0:57:26 Unknown Speaker #3

right into a And here's

0:57:27 Unknown Speaker #1

and here's the thing, guys. This is a little a little tidbit that a lot of people probably don't know. The lesson plan for every period is the same.

0:57:35 Unknown Speaker #3

Don't tell our secret stuff. This is

0:57:37 Unknown Speaker #2

relatable stuff. That's a little hard to do. That for T02, you kinda lost people, I think. But now, you just teach same class. I

0:57:43 Unknown Speaker #1

don't know. I think a lot of people

0:57:44 Unknown Speaker #2

are just afraid to admit that you know. The infomercial folks.

0:57:47 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. Don't

0:57:47 Unknown Speaker #2

flip past

0:57:48 Unknown Speaker #4

it. Take the 45 minutes watching from work. I think a

0:57:50 Unknown Speaker #3

lot of people are afraid to admit anything like that. Yes. Do. Yeah. I think that it is a better product than people are willing to

0:57:57 Unknown Speaker #1

admit. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with your

0:57:59 Unknown Speaker #2

oxygen. It freaks me out. It's pure oxygen, but

0:58:03 Unknown Speaker #3

it's a lot of

0:58:03 Unknown Speaker #5

oxygen.

0:58:04 Unknown Speaker #2

It's chocolate oxygen, which is what it's labeled at. Yeah.

0:58:08 Unknown Speaker #1

But then, sir, after advanced biologies, I go to 1 obviously, after lunch, I go home again for

0:58:16 Unknown Speaker #4

oh, so you also take A1A 01:45 ish break that Sam does all.

0:58:20 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I gotta do I gotta do my second round.

0:58:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Let's go back on the tour.

0:58:25 Unknown Speaker #2

Now wonder you don't get another period until the seventh period. Yeah. And then you have to kinda, like, de de compress up.

0:58:31 Unknown Speaker #4

So you teach 4 periods out of the 8 period day. Uh-huh.

0:58:34 Unknown Speaker #1

Because of DOT. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you. Interesting students learning about our little routine And all they do is What do you do

0:58:43 Unknown Speaker #2

with your night? What do you do with your night? A well.

0:58:47 Unknown Speaker #1

That means yes. Well, recently, I've been trying to redo the infomercial. How you've been filming at night? I've been trying to do a new 1 because I you know?

0:59:00 Unknown Speaker #3

Outdoor shooter,

0:59:01 Unknown Speaker #2

indoor shoot. Uh-huh. Indoor, of course. Okay.

0:59:03 Unknown Speaker #4

On location

0:59:04 Unknown Speaker #1

on location?

0:59:06 Unknown Speaker #2

What location?

0:59:07 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, who's out?

0:59:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Let's just say there's a throne. Yeah.

0:59:12 Unknown Speaker #1

Alright. So you're in your bathroom too.

0:59:14 Unknown Speaker #3

It's not too annoying. In

0:59:15 Unknown Speaker #2

the back of my house every night? Are you using my toilet to film T02?

0:59:19 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I'll be honest. Because I got a big problem. I did I did try your toilet once, but the lighting in your bathroom is really it it doesn't work. So Oh, right.

0:59:27 Unknown Speaker #2

I've I only have 1 of those red light that from the seventies that makes the bathroom hot. Yeah. Yeah.

0:59:34 Unknown Speaker #3

Does he like it or not? Yeah.

0:59:36 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. My other 1 went out and I was, like, I guess, I'm gonna use

0:59:38 Unknown Speaker #5

red

0:59:38 Unknown Speaker #4

bulldog. Carpeted floors, soft toilet seat that you sit on. Yeah. The big squishy 1 in the details

0:59:46 Unknown Speaker #2

that whiffs up the poops smell.

0:59:49 Unknown Speaker #1

Hey. Don't knock it till you try it.

0:59:52 Unknown Speaker #2

Right. T02.

0:59:53 Unknown Speaker #4

So it does smell like poop, man.

0:59:55 Unknown Speaker #1

This smell like poop? If I'm not if the thing that's how you know if the product isn't working properly -- Right. -- is if you'll smell poop Well, if you smell poop before you're

1:00:03 Unknown Speaker #3

supposed So if the

1:00:04 Unknown Speaker #2

if I There's a poot spell finisher, what is

1:00:07 Unknown Speaker #1

it? You're only supposed to smell poot. Once you turn on

1:00:13 Unknown Speaker #2

the pump. And what was the moment? So what was the So what just, like, the beginning of this pump, Like, it primes with poop smell, and then it's and then it's dirty.

1:00:22 Unknown Speaker #1

If the pump's running, you're smelling poop. Oh my god. But you're not

1:00:25 Unknown Speaker #3

ingesting it. You're just smelling it through your nose and

1:00:27 Unknown Speaker #1

going through your lungs. That's if only if you

1:00:29 Unknown Speaker #2

turn the spelling putt the whole time. But I'm out. I'm

1:00:34 Unknown Speaker #1

out. Okay. Well, don't knock a tea, try it. But no. Then III obviously go to bed because that's a lot of work. So

1:00:39 Unknown Speaker #2

you do

1:00:40 Unknown Speaker #3

tF2 kinda like breakfast lunch. You should do a morning and a lunch at a nighttime t f.

1:00:44 Unknown Speaker #1

Timing wise, yeah, I do it 3

1:00:45 Unknown Speaker #2

okay. Uh-huh. Yeah. T02 is a huge toilet

1:00:51 Unknown Speaker #1

bomb shelter. About I wish we could've talked about it years ago.

1:00:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Because I But you're like, well, you were trials

1:00:57 Unknown Speaker #3

for so long.

1:00:58 Unknown Speaker #5

That's

1:00:59 Unknown Speaker #1

true. That's true. And

1:01:00 Unknown Speaker #3

how long did you do trials for Tina too? Because you were quite getting it right. You were sort of drinking some of the poop and smelling some of the poop.

1:01:07 Unknown Speaker #1

I started in college, actually. Wow. On the sweet toilet. In in my in my dormitory Sweet. Sweet. Yeah.

1:01:14 Unknown Speaker #2

That was the edible toilet you had for a while. Yes.

1:01:17 Unknown Speaker #3

Tough ways to start.

1:01:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. It melts.

1:01:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Wow. What a day. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know how I'm gonna follow that because that is an unbelievable

1:01:25 Unknown Speaker #4

day. For

1:01:27 Unknown Speaker #3

sure. Yes.

1:01:28 Unknown Speaker #2

But I guess for me lately, we're gonna do days as of late. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Because my schedule changes a lot. I'm up with the sun. I'm up with my sun. I'm up with my sun. Whenever my sun is awake, I get up. So I'm up with my sun. And then it's straight to morning practice. I'm practicing. You've

1:01:48 Unknown Speaker #1

been doing 2 or 3 a days.

1:01:50 Unknown Speaker #2

Right? I've been doing 2 or 3 a days. I'll calling Audible at the second 1. And if they're doing bad, we're doing a third. Yeah. So I we're up I'm up with my son. And we should let everyone know that Bill has a new 3 month

1:02:03 Unknown Speaker #4

old. We'll we'll get into it at some

1:02:04 Unknown Speaker #2

point. Yes. Yes. Because you care. I care about him, and I'm up with him whenever he's up, Yeah. I had a little slip up at bikinis, and I have a 3 month. And then so Francis, Francine, Alberto, Roberto, Roberto, Travis, Josh, Josh, we're out there on the court. Okay? And we do about an hour and a half of drills in the morning, just fundamentals. And

1:02:32 Unknown Speaker #5

with

1:02:32 Unknown Speaker #1

with basketball or without? Say without because I was gonna say, Bill Navy Fundamentals are a little little different for

1:02:38 Unknown Speaker #2

anybody. Yeah. We don't play with the basketball. We introduced the basketball late in the season. Yeah. You know, we'll play with big heavy hams, You know how they put the doughnut on the bat baseball? Uh-huh. We'll play with a heavier You play with a medicine ball. You

1:02:51 Unknown Speaker #1

play a game based on bouncing a ball with objects that don't

1:02:54 Unknown Speaker #2

yes. Which thank you for the medicine ball, Sam. Like, that is a very good medicine ball, which is sponsored

1:02:59 Unknown Speaker #3

by.

1:03:01 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, Crievous.

1:03:02 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right.

1:03:03 Unknown Speaker #4

Crievous. Well, everyone knows it's how Crievous got so top heavy was the medicine ball. Yes.

1:03:09 Unknown Speaker #1

That's

1:03:09 Unknown Speaker #4

right.

1:03:10 Unknown Speaker #2

But then after we do fundamentals with a big heavy, honey baked ham, I I'll go inside. I'll shower off. And then You first. Yes. I shower first. The whole team showers at my place. I go ahead in and I shower. I shower off real quick. They get in there. Boom bam bam bam bam. 6 showers in a row. I just got And

1:03:31 Unknown Speaker #1

does everybody

1:03:32 Unknown Speaker #3

get hot water?

1:03:33 Unknown Speaker #2

No. I it's for me on

1:03:36 Unknown Speaker #1

as long as your showers are Yeah. I steam

1:03:38 Unknown Speaker #2

out up top.

1:03:39 Unknown Speaker #1

Then I

1:03:40 Unknown Speaker #2

then I'll go back. I'll check out my son. Is he in the crib? What's he doing? And then I'm off to work.

1:03:47 Unknown Speaker #3

Wow. What an attentive father.

1:03:49 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:50 Unknown Speaker #3

You wake him up or sorry. You wake up with him. I wake up with him. Leave him a house go to practice. Come back check

1:03:55 Unknown Speaker #1

on it real quick. Go back to school. You are like you are really doing it right now. You're really putting a lot of people too. Yes. I mean,

1:04:03 Unknown Speaker #2

check-in on him, and I'm tired of these parents. Because I've been a parent when it was when you didn't pay attention to your kid, And then when you were, like, all over them, giving a bye to my

1:04:03 Unknown Speaker #5

i

1:04:14 Unknown Speaker #3

society

1:04:14 Unknown Speaker #4

keeps changing. Do you look

1:04:16 Unknown Speaker #3

out from? Do you not? Now

1:04:18 Unknown Speaker #2

it's back to let it be a little dirty thing in the yard. Like, it's a pulley come back around Well, these helicopter parents bodies on its own, let it eat whatever it wants because it building its immune system, which you know from your COVID denying, you know. Of course. Your immune system is strong. I've

1:04:35 Unknown Speaker #3

had to go get really sick because I won't get the vex Yeah. I've got to get really sick to please stay healthy.

1:04:41 Unknown Speaker #2

Of course. So then I'm in. I'm in about 15 minutes early. And I'm hanging out in the lounge. There, you guys see me. I get my 5 times through Keurig. Mhmm. And I get my my pour over. I get that going, which So you take your

1:05:00 Unknown Speaker #3

keurig that's been run through 5 times. And I You pour that through a really thick coffee. Yes.

1:05:05 Unknown Speaker #2

I pour that through a strainer. And what's coming out is some

1:05:10 Unknown Speaker #1

of the is is clear water.

1:05:11 Unknown Speaker #3

Your water. Yeah. I've never seen.

1:05:13 Unknown Speaker #1

So now you understand a little bit more the whole T02 thing, exactly what's happening?

1:05:17 Unknown Speaker #5

No.

1:05:18 Unknown Speaker #4

No. I stowed on.

1:05:20 Unknown Speaker #2

Then I'll call my neighbor and ask them to go check on my son.

1:05:23 Unknown Speaker #1

Wow. It takes a lot of time and effort. Wait. I'm sorry. Your

1:05:26 Unknown Speaker #2

neighbor your your neighbor works in Canada though. So they're not often Well, yeah. They'll check the The monitor. The monitor.

1:05:36 Unknown Speaker #1

The the

1:05:37 Unknown Speaker #2

audio only monitor.

1:05:40 Unknown Speaker #1

Just listening for breath, what do they listen to?

1:05:42 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, technically, it is a video monitor too, but you have it turned and pointed at the TV. Right?

1:05:46 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. Yes. Yeah. So they do they tell me what's on TV. We don't really talk about my son ever. I'm like, what's on what's on TV? Right. We watch TV. I watch TV via my child's TV monitor.

1:06:00 Unknown Speaker #4

But you can hear

1:06:01 Unknown Speaker #1

the kid. Sometimes And did you name him

1:06:05 Unknown Speaker #2

here? Sometimes you can hear the kid. Yeah. Sorry. Would you ask? Did you name him yet? Not yet. Okay. No. No. No. No. Not yet. We

1:06:13 Unknown Speaker #1

are gonna allow him

1:06:14 Unknown Speaker #2

to name himself. Yeah. We're gonna allow him to name himself. I

1:06:18 Unknown Speaker #5

hope

1:06:18 Unknown Speaker #4

todd. I heard him say to his first words, Todd junior. You did. I think that's what he wants

1:06:18 Unknown Speaker #2

he made himself

1:06:22 Unknown Speaker #3

to do. I saw you sort of lip syncing over by him. I didn't hear him say anything.

1:06:25 Unknown Speaker #4

I don't know what lip syncing is.

1:06:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Anyway, then we're just doing we're doing our second practice. And then I'm going in. I'm teaching kids how to make curtains

1:06:39 Unknown Speaker #3

carpet. Correct?

1:06:41 Unknown Speaker #2

Carpet. Part.

1:06:43 Unknown Speaker #4

How do you make carpet in the glass? I would love to learn delay carpet, but I didn't

1:06:49 Unknown Speaker #1

know. And every kid's every

1:06:50 Unknown Speaker #3

kid's responsibility at the beginning of this class is to bring in 1 giant pool of materials.

1:06:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Right? Well, my home ec class is, like, tech it's, like, really macro textiles. You know? Like, like, big sort of warehouse stuff. Yeah.

1:07:06 Unknown Speaker #4

A lot of people are calling. We're killing

1:07:09 Unknown Speaker #2

stone. We're making carpet. We're cutting logs, you know. You are making pottery wheels. Making pottery wheels -- Mhmm. -- exploring fire. Yes. Cooking food all the way to burn -- Yes. -- so you can see it at every Yes. Living in geodes. Stuff like that. Very macro sort of early civilization -- That's really cool. -- a home ec. And then we'll do if if Francine falls down in the second practice, we do a third, Only if she falls there. Yes. Because she have to punish her. And

1:07:51 Unknown Speaker #4

the team has to know you gotta help Francine stay up? Yes. That's a team effort. Oh, yeah. That's the guy who can't stand up straight all half the time. You wanna trust everyone around you. It's trustful.

1:08:01 Unknown Speaker #2

Exactly. Exactly. And then I'll just head home, run the people out of my house that are trying to do AT02 commercial, and I'll pass out.

1:08:10 Unknown Speaker #3

I check on

1:08:10 Unknown Speaker #2

my side. I check on my

1:08:11 Unknown Speaker #4

oh, my god. Oh, my god.

1:08:14 Unknown Speaker #2

What a great day. But that's basically my day. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

1:08:17 Unknown Speaker #4

way to be an example to the men out there. Yes. You gotta be a man, man up, and raise the kid. Raise the kid. I'm

1:08:24 Unknown Speaker #3

really excited that we're doing this. I feel like we're gonna go back school, and the kids are just gonna be like, god, I get these guys. Now I'm not gonna just run away from them when I see them.

1:08:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Right. I'm not gonna No more FYIP. Them. No more FYPs. Yeah.

1:08:37 Unknown Speaker #1

They don't have to be embarrassed about what they do in your bathroom anymore.

1:08:40 Unknown Speaker #3

No. It doesn't mean that, Todd.

1:08:42 Unknown Speaker #4

What? FYP. Fuck you. If you're gonna say fuck you, padre, I'm gonna say fuck you. It

1:08:47 Unknown Speaker #1

doesn't mean that. Okay. Well He's for you.

1:08:49 Unknown Speaker #4

A man's gotta stand up for himself if he's attacked.

1:08:52 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah.

1:08:52 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean, like, what are you doing to be a man in your daily life, God?

1:08:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, that's a good question. So mine will be through a man point of view what I do in the morning. That's really interesting. I wake up at 05:30AM in a cold, freezing cold sweat. And I have just I've just had the dream again that it's the day right before my wife and I get a divorce. And I can change it. I can change it. This is your daily routine. And I done every day. I have this dream right before I Not occasionally this

1:09:22 Unknown Speaker #2

every day. Then I there's Sam.

1:09:25 Unknown Speaker #4

The in the dream, I can't fix the stuff with my wife and then a monster that looks like my mom but it's huge. It's chasing me and chasing me. I don't know what that's about.

1:09:34 Unknown Speaker #2

Wait. Your mom was huge. Oh,

1:09:36 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. It's probably just a literal dream. Yeah. Everyone remembers my mom from the TV show, my huge mom. My mom was

1:09:47 Unknown Speaker #2

my mom was True life, my mom is you.

1:09:49 Unknown Speaker #4

My mom yeah. Truly mom was you. Made I'm a man without a huge mom. What's that? Did she breakage? Yes. She was 8 foot 8. She played for the New York Knicks. So I guess I'm having a literal dream about my mom. I wake up in a cold sweat. 05:35 30 to 6. I am calling Howard Stern and arguing with Michael Rapaport. And this is Daily. Everyday. Me and Michael Rapid are getting into it about whatever's going on in the world. 6 to 7, I am calling up trying to make a reservation at Bikinis.

1:10:30 Unknown Speaker #3

Everyday. Hit taught. Again, they open at 7. You don't have to do the

1:10:34 Unknown Speaker #4

67. Well, you never I always get the reservation right at 7. But Just

1:10:38 Unknown Speaker #2

get 1 at tomatoes and have yourself sent over.

1:10:40 Unknown Speaker #4

That's a genius idea. I don't know why I never thought of it. I mean, tomatoes is hard to get

1:10:44 Unknown Speaker #5

into.

1:10:49 Unknown Speaker #4

So that's till 7AM. I've got the then I've so I've hung oh, Then I'll have my breakfast. I'll do

1:10:57 Unknown Speaker #2

a Oh, what do you do?

1:10:58 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, I have my overnight minestrone.

1:11:05 Unknown Speaker #1

And then it's just minestrone that you leave out overnight on the stove? Yeah.

1:11:08 Unknown Speaker #4

The minestrone if you leave it out. It's like overnight. Oh, it's it's just a different texture and flavor. So You leave them in Australia out overnight, and then I I'll put some blackberries in there. You can do whatever you want with some peanut butter. Simple infection

1:11:18 Unknown Speaker #3

overnight oats, but different texture than of that.

1:11:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

1:11:22 Unknown Speaker #1

I love that in

1:11:23 Unknown Speaker #2

minestrone, Todd, you're so healthy. And you put it in the you put it in the opposite of a mason jar. Right? Yes. I put it in in Namuska.

1:11:34 Unknown Speaker #3

That's stupid. And a moose jar. That's stupid.

1:11:37 Unknown Speaker #4

That's it the mousse charred? I need to explain it. Oh, yeah. Of course.

1:11:41 Unknown Speaker #2

It's the opposite of a mason jar. It's not cute or kitschy. No.

1:11:45 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. It's short and really wide.

1:11:47 Unknown Speaker #1

And the and the and the bottom is made of metal and the top is made of glass.

1:11:50 Unknown Speaker #4

Right? Yes. The

1:11:51 Unknown Speaker #2

bottom is metal top. And you always drop it, and it it comes out on the floor. Right?

1:11:54 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. We've all seen in the Moose Jaro. If you stayed at my AirP in Phoenix and stuff. But yeah. So that I've had my overnight minute Troney, and then I try to

1:12:04 Unknown Speaker #2

you should dedicate

1:12:05 Unknown Speaker #3

it every day.

1:12:06 Unknown Speaker #4

Every day.

1:12:08 Unknown Speaker #5

Then

1:12:08 Unknown Speaker #4

i unplugged my neighbor's Tesla, and then

1:12:11 Unknown Speaker #5

i

1:12:15 Unknown Speaker #4

then I get in my hot wheel. I I put the soup cans on as the wheels, and I hot wheel my way. You gotta stop messing with your neighbor. I

1:12:22 Unknown Speaker #2

believe. Kansas, the wheel, so I could barbecue.

1:12:25 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, you gotta take them off at night or else somebody's gonna rob that thing. That's

1:12:29 Unknown Speaker #4

right. Yeah, I got it up on

1:12:30 Unknown Speaker #2

bricks out front and make sure no one's stealing my soup can wheels. And then you stop by your mom who is, like, the hood ornament on a on a, like,

1:12:38 Unknown Speaker #4

but for a restaurant? Yes. I stopped. So then I stopped by the fishery. My mom is the hood ornament on that. You know the fishing restaurant that's a big boat with the hood ornament on my mom sits out front. Looks like a classic siren. Yeah. She's out there singing. I got the looks. You got the brains. Let's make

1:12:54 Unknown Speaker #4

of money. Have

1:12:54 Unknown Speaker #5

lots

1:12:57 Unknown Speaker #2

you talked to her about your dad's death? Yes.

1:13:01 Unknown Speaker #3

It's part of your daily routine.

1:13:02 Unknown Speaker #1

Second thing you'd know pretty much off the top of your head. I

1:13:05 Unknown Speaker #5

don't

1:13:05 Unknown Speaker #4

think it's come up for some reason. Oh, okay. I'm sure it'll come up eventually. Well, she doesn't speak to you, so it's her fault. Well, yes, it made the funeral hard. We we each kept telling we tried to do our eulogies. We did doing eulogies. So we've got

1:13:21 Unknown Speaker #5

and

1:13:24 Unknown Speaker #4

we basically went we would request a song and do do

1:13:29 Unknown Speaker #2

started you're started with no. No. No. No. No. No. No. I don't care about your dad's

1:13:35 Unknown Speaker #3

dead. And hers is

1:13:36 Unknown Speaker #2

pretty cowboys. But then

1:13:37 Unknown Speaker #1

hers was, dina net. Me, to Yeah.

1:13:41 Unknown Speaker #4

I hate my dad, and I don't even care. I don't have feelings.

1:13:46 Unknown Speaker #2

That was a callous funeral, but I loved the food at the end. What was her name? Well, it all fell on my feet because of the moose jars.

1:13:56 Unknown Speaker #3

there anything else as part of your daily taught? I don't wanna cut you off.

1:13:56 Unknown Speaker #4

Was

1:13:59 Unknown Speaker #4

No. That's about it. Thank you. Yeah.

1:14:01 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Where'd you come to school and you teach pretty flawless late during

1:14:04 Unknown Speaker #4

oh, yeah. I come to school. Every class different. I know some of us do the same lesson plan, but mine's might you choose a little more

1:14:09 Unknown Speaker #2

like jazz. I'm walking in and I'm feeling out what's Well, you're a higher on heroin for sure. Yeah. And most people only pretend to like it. That's

1:14:17 Unknown Speaker #3

right. And it has to be dark or else it's too scary.

1:14:20 Unknown Speaker #4

It's terrifying in there. So yeah. But then, About

1:14:25 Unknown Speaker #1

17 So you teach bad

1:14:26 Unknown Speaker #5

heroin.

1:14:26 Unknown Speaker #2

lessons on

1:14:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Daily?

1:14:31 Unknown Speaker #4

I'm a guru. What can I say? And then about 7. I am up there at bikinis wondering if they got my message earlier that morning messages. And

1:14:40 Unknown Speaker #2

then you make yourself into a chicken parm and have yourself shipped over. Right?

1:14:45 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. I do a Trojan parm. Because because 1 of the intricate which is unfortunate. They won't let me eat the bikinis, so I cook myself into a hot hot chicken

1:14:55 Unknown Speaker #2

burger. Thank you for letting us get in there the other because we none of us

1:14:59 Unknown Speaker #1

could get reservations. Yeah. So

1:15:01 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. So I think it would not let us in without a problem, though. Period bikinis covered in mozzarella. We're covered in mozzarella. We're covered in black sheep. And we came out and boy did we slay in bikinis? Yes. We did. But so that's the that's our days and we want all of our students, let us know what you're up to with your day and we

1:15:18 Unknown Speaker #2

wanna go see

1:15:19 Unknown Speaker #4

where we connect and where we relate. Yes. Yes. But I ultimately, this vulnerability even saying my day, it's all moving towards the same goal -- Right. -- hooking up at alumni day. Oh. We have we have the excite the labs are sighting the beds are tricked out. There's mirrors everywhere.

1:15:38 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right. Because that's the cool thing that not everybody tells you about

1:15:41 Unknown Speaker #2

being a teacher.

1:15:42 Unknown Speaker #3

When they're your students, they're way too young.

1:15:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Like the big Way too young. We all know this,

1:15:47 Unknown Speaker #3

and we do not cross that line.

1:15:49 Unknown Speaker #4

Do not go in there.

1:15:50 Unknown Speaker #2

But the the The we have, like, sort of a grotto, but with less water and more mold. Yeah. We got a moldo.

1:16:00 Unknown Speaker #3

The rocks are a little sharp. The

1:16:01 Unknown Speaker #2

moldo which you keep trying to install T02 on it. We

1:16:05 Unknown Speaker #1

won't let you. I but it looks

1:16:07 Unknown Speaker #2

like a 16 year old's dream back there, sort of like a fuck palace for us. Yeah. What's the night of before. Yeah. And if I win, which I have been adding in the fleas to the 3 a day practice, which I met last week because they were on Todd. And they could jump around. Yes. And the fleas ran the weave this week, and they're good. They're good. Sometimes the ball lands on them and squashes them and kills them. Yeah. But there's a lot of them. And yes.

1:16:37 Unknown Speaker #4

I I've been really impressed with Patrick Fluing.

1:16:40 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, Patrick. Fluing is very

1:16:42 Unknown Speaker #5

good.

1:16:44 Unknown Speaker #4

Do you sleep on James?

1:16:46 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. We curry.

1:16:47 Unknown Speaker #3

We curry. What about Michael flea. Oh,

1:16:50 Unknown Speaker #4

michael flea. Michael flea is the greatest. He's the greatest. He's the ghost. Number 23.

1:16:56 Unknown Speaker #2

Number 23, Michael is so so good.

1:17:00 Unknown Speaker #1

Now is there gonna be any issues? Because, obviously, those movies are not alumni. He didn't even listen to my question, but

1:17:07 Unknown Speaker #1

not alumni, so is it is it fair to have

1:17:07 Unknown Speaker #5

they're

1:17:10 Unknown Speaker #4

them just That's unprovable. Yes. There's been some fudging of paperwork going on from what I I think I remember teaching some of these fleas when I was in the nineties.

1:17:19 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. I remember that. I remember a flea graduating. And in fact, I have some pretty well done photoshop showing them graduating with a picture of me behind them being, like, thumbs up they graduated.

1:17:30 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. And you're holding up a newspaper that's said, I will I did not have sexual relations with that woman for the

1:17:36 Unknown Speaker #1

year. Yes. That's a little blurry. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You still have that newspaper, by the way. You wanna open Oh,

1:17:43 Unknown Speaker #2

i read it every day, even every day.

1:17:44 Unknown Speaker #4

Every day I read the

1:17:45 Unknown Speaker #2

items on the paper. Yeah. That picture

1:17:47 Unknown Speaker #3

felt like you weren't quite satisfied with the first person who did the photoshop. So there's looked like a few different artists, photoshop, different areas in that picture.

1:17:55 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes. I fire a photoshopper in a second if they don't do what I want. I just wanna tell

1:17:59 Unknown Speaker #1

you, make sure you guys are clear. Make sure you don't say anything you don't want people to hear on the podcast because as we've we've

1:18:05 Unknown Speaker #2

we've No. I'm

1:18:06 Unknown Speaker #1

not worried about it. Right.

1:18:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, we accidentally put out the thing about how you're not really Howard Levis and you're the heir to the Lee

1:18:12 Unknown Speaker #1

fortune. Which

1:18:13 Unknown Speaker #4

was a joke. This is parody. Yes. But I'm excited for you to win that alumni game because that is huge stakes you put up your your pink slip as a

1:18:24 Unknown Speaker #2

teacher. Yes. Cannot be a teacher anymore if I lose this game.

1:18:28 Unknown Speaker #3

And finally, the social status you'll have as a winner.

1:18:31 Unknown Speaker #2

Because I win the farm. I will win A farm.

1:18:37 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. Walt make Walcott's farm. At the stakes are huge because I am a recovering gambler, but I decided to get back into it for this. I've got everything on you. I hedge some of my bets on the over under. And then I've got a 3 way parlay with Fleejay Armstrong, Francine and Josh scoring over 50 points combined. Wow. So I need them to score over 50 points combined. Otherwise, a Jew is gonna shoot me in the head.

1:19:01 Unknown Speaker #3

That is a lot of points for a high school exhibition game, I will.

1:19:04 Unknown Speaker #4

Wow. Yes, it is.

1:19:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Who is this guy? He's got He's had a chew. Right? Your sneeze A chewing. A chewy no. A a Jewish

1:19:12 Unknown Speaker #4

guy is gonna shoot me in there. Oh, a chew the Jew. Yes. A guy that shot my friend uncut Jim.

1:19:21 Unknown Speaker #2

I see. I see. But

1:19:22 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. So I've got I I've got some money in the game. But -- You know? -- I've gotta say 1 thing. Okay.

1:19:25 Unknown Speaker #5

I'm