i get a can we get some levels? Let's go around the horn here, Todd. Give me give me something in my ears.

Good morning. This is Todd Padre.

This just sounds like a -- I'm fine. -- announcement.

I'm doing well. Okay. Emotionally, I've never had a problem. I don't know what you wanna hear from what?

What's the fucking I don't know. No. No. I'm we're just doing levels fine. I just

want no. I can't just fill space all the time.

We wanna hear from you. You could've just said you could've listed your favorite color is Todd. Yeah. Check 1,

2, you Oh, yeah. List of favorite colors, then I say red, and everyone's like, he's angry because he said red. No.

Todd, we're not

gonna think that hard about it. Alright? Jesus. Just chill out. Alright. Yeah. Bill hit me with yours. Red. Hit me with yours, Bill. I guess I'm doing okay. I've feel a little stressed. No. I need you hitting up in the morning. I can't sleep in the morning. Kids in the morning. Sleep in the morning. Sleep in the morning. So you wish you therapy, guys. And I can't sleep in the morning and it's stressing me out. Okay. There we go. You have a little bit. Whoa. Okay. Yeah. You sound 1, 2, sheep, 3, counting sheep to try to get sleep in the morning. Is that good? Yeah. You sound you sound good. Same to me something.

What's happening? It's Sam Weatherman and I'm pretending to be

happy.

Life is very scary and it's not bothering me right now, and I'm starving, but I didn't have any food in the morning. So I'm just gonna yell through lunch until I get some food, baby. We

gotta get in the morning.

Our mornings are My morning routine is stuff. I have not been able to sleep in the morning. I don't know if that's what I'm wondering routine. Well, I wake up at 9AM. I'm 2 hours late for school.

Good. Good. And

then I get my coffee. Usually, a double thick black in a short glass. I

rarely hear coffee described by its thickness.

Well, if it's nasty, thick. Yeah. Because

you're doing Jimmy's thick coffee. The new place down on on fourteenth Street.

Yes. They what they're saying is, don't take off, Jimmy's thick coffee. Kodak coffee. Don't waste the ground. Yeah. That's sort of their philosophy. So it doesn't go through a strainer. It just goes into the hole.

Yeah. And it's also

don't waste the ground. The whole ground has something on Absolutely. A ton of it is unused. Yeah.

He's also selling old refrigerators out of there. For refrigerators in the parking lot. Oh, from Jimmy's thin fridges. That's right. Yeah. It's all thin fridges. They're made Most of them are made to hold only sodas sideways. So with the soda can't all the way up, do not pull from the bottom.

People just expect you to have room for a fridge in your apartment? It's like, no. Well, we know I don't.

Howard, give me the headphones here. Take

the headphones. Here we go. I'm gonna do a do a quick I'm gonna show you guys how this what I needed for you. Just

before we move on, mini fridges were the rave, thin fridges or the new

rain. Fenny fridge. I'm glad we went back for that. Thank you so much. Here. Take the headphones. I'm gonna show you guys exactly what I need from you guys in the future. When I say go to levels,

i I have never heard a condescending mic check, but this was the first 1. Let's see how it goes. Here we go.

Here we go. And Howard Levis, here on the ones in 2, 3. Jesus, Jesus, sick. You're not sick. You both feel fine.

I honestly feel sick to my bored stomach. Okay. If that makes sense. Yeah.

My stomach is super sick, but I'm so bored. Okay. Alright.

Well, let's try to hold in. Sick boredom. And let's just get your levels right while I ride the lines here.

Okay. Here. Yeah. Here we go, Howard, 123, check 1, 3, close.

Close. Close. 3. How did you miss the 2 idioms?

Well, you don't need it. It doesn't need I actually have to hear the 2 to make sure you're low alright. Okay. 1, 2 Way off. I didn't even hear any. Okay. You know what? I'm I you guys, I did sleep well this morning. Okay? So can we please

oh, no.

Oh, bad morning, too. Yeah.

Well, let everybody say your favorite

thing about your morning routine on 3123.

Terry up the crossword.

Mine's

falling out of bed.

My name is my morning toilet. Your morning toilet?

Oh my god. Have you heard their new album?

Yeah. I heard I heard that the singer I heard

that the singer records

his vocals inside AAA high school shower, a 4 way. Oh, really? Yeah. That's why it sounds so roomy.

That's I just

don't love the exhaust fan that's on the whole time. It's very loud. But I appreciate he's getting the stink out of the recording, Chris.

Oh. Because you could hear it. For sure. That is honestly something that we need is to get stink

out of the recording. Well, he can't he kept he kept saying instead of turn my headphones up, he said, turn turn the stink up. He's like, I'm turning the stink up. Can I get more stink in my nose, bones? What I'm saying? Have you guys seen You can feel it in the tubes. You can

feel the

you finished the BLA. Yeah. Alright. Well, we should get it going. Let's go ahead. Go ahead, kick it. There we go. Let count. Now now now now. Now now,

teachers.

I'm not gonna put the real theme song into this episode. If you guys are just gonna do that,

you're not having Oh, are you withholding though? Oh, are we sure we didn't work for you?

I'll edit this episode. It's

fine. Yeah. Right. Okay. Well, I would Ties does not take that long to edit. I'm so quick and effort.

I really appreciate all you've done for the show, Howard. But I would honestly love to see what Todd did with an episode.

Okay. Todd, you you're taking the reins off

this episode today. As far as been edited by Howard, and this episode will be edited. By Todd.

Yeah. So we'll see what that means. But folks, welcome to another episode of The Teachers Lounge, your first best and only podcasts pertain to issues relevant to Hamilton. Furiously writing down timestamps in a notebook for some reason right now. I don't know why. Just gotta keep track of everything after you're a good editor. Yeah. Sorry. I entered. And now it's fine. It's the last thing Let's take that

again clean.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of The Teachers Lounge The First Best and only podcast pertaining to issues relevant to the Hamilton High School community. I, of course, am your friend, Howard. Levis, your biology teacher, and the most even keeled fellow on the campus

is what they say. Right?

I'm

here with my buddies. Go ahead and introduce yourselves. Hey.

What's up in Sammy Weatherman? That right, I'm teaching the drivers, Ed. I'm taking care of the mental health of all the students. And of course, COVID officer. That's right. I'm making sure everybody complies. And half the school has gotten hazmat suits.

Yes. Hello, Bill Kravi, assistant basketball coach, head teacher in the home ec department, and I am feeling good about our game this week. And not to not to bring you down at all, but there is only 1 teacher in the home ec department. Right? So far so far, yes. And I'm the number 1 a couple of students that are trying to show me how to use the showing machine. The showing machine. The showing machine, which I call that's what I call the overhead projector. The showing machine, I cannot figure out how to use it. Pretty simple machine. They're like, you use this. You don't spit on it and wipe it with your hand to get just

use another sheet. Well,

that's what I says is I talk a big spit And then I wipe it off, and they're like, just use another transparency. And

you can hock a big spit that isn't a loogie. Yeah. It's a huge difference. Obviously, you wouldn't clean it with a loogie No. I hold water spit in my mouth

for the majority of the class. Yeah. Well, you teach. And my I let it pool in the corners. And I, you know, I teach And then at the end, I'll do a big drool onto the The clean off the overhead shower. Yes. Exactly. Showing showing machine. But they're upset about that this week. Anyway, they taught padre

to

my left. Hi, Todd padre, theater on TikTok is at TTP feminist,

which hasn't really turned into the thing you thought it would. What

do you mean?

Well, I've seen the viral the the newest viral trend. So many people, it's a So many people are duetting you, but it's not exactly making you look good. Well, any publicity is good publicity, and this -- Right. -- publicity is what I call it. Pobicity. Yeah. But

yes, people are taking some of my videos and they are suggesting that there's toilet paper all around. And so there's different people did a super stitched thing where 1 person was pulling toilet paper out of my butt and that they were using that to explain why grunting so

much at least yet. And that idea went almost like the toilet paper went around the whole world. Right? People kept advocating

him. And so I brought the world together.

So then

someone in, you know, for someone in the US.

They were taking the whole thing was people were were were sort of stretching a piece of toilet paper across image of a sort of welcome to Canada. Welcome to China.

Welcome to

japan. The big sign at the airport. And that was the big 3. Yeah. And all of this

1 right there. The big 3.

China, Japan. Of course, the big 3. And this is this toilet paper? This 1 long strand of toilet paper? Connect did to your foot. Whoa. Hey, and I can relate. Because I did see a couple videos where the robot voice goes, this man doesn't know. He has toilet paper on his shoe, and it's tricking across the world to China, Japan, and Canada. Well, that's the thing. I love that 1.

You know, it started with the 1 where they were using the toilet paper to justify my grunts in the video. Mhmm. And it was like, oh, there's got a lot of paper in his butt. But then the whole thing became coincidentally unrelated. Of course. I did have a long t p on my shoe for a long time. Uh-huh. For an entire walk and talk video that I shot --

interesting. -- directed,

edited,

and could not figure out how to get the t p out. So

you shot it and directed it and were the star of it. Because that's 1 thing when you're doing it -- Mhmm. -- in a play, but it's tougher to actually hold the camera direct yourself and be in it when you're recording. You think it was tough? Have

you seen my videos? I am acing this, baby. But yeah, it's actually easier for me. So I took the notes. I took the notes. And the walk talk is

about

women need to be get more respect in the household.

Can we give women a little more respect in the household? And it's the whole every video I make is feminism in the household. And they're

eventually gonna get more civics. Right? They're gonna get aims civics And they know what are you talking about? Women.

In more respect,

in the household. Okay. Hold on. Who where? Hold on. Hold on. Yes. Of course. So let me ask this 1 question I have, which I think is 1 of the biggest questions about tiktok tiktok, which which you do have a couple of times. I've got live You have been invited to

tikTok. I tried to Which is Lyme's disease TikTok. Yes. Well, I tried to do 1 that was, like, Women should be respected in the woods, and I got lying to me.

Which the message of that 1 is I think absolutely I think a lot people think of, like, camping and sort of outdoors the activities as male dominated space, dominated. Dominated. Yes. They think of it as a male dominated space, and you put out a TikTok that was just trying to sort of recontextualize

the artboard. And it's so

crazy because you Something about the tics they knew to get on you. You could hear them -- The chatter. -- what they were like, I've never had a tic If you've ever heard a tick gallop, they were galloping after you in the woods, and

they connected. You almost kinda had like sort of a superhero thing going where your full skin was covered in a in a tight, black sort of, shiny. Yeah.

You there was not a square inch of your scan that could be seen v because of the dicks

via the I. Yeah. I mean, you could see it maybe through a heat thing or whatever, but in the eye, you couldn't see enough.

But yeah. With the naked eye, which we

love. I'm sure we would love. How about how? The

nastiest eye, the naked eye -- Uh-huh. -- you could not see your skin --

no. --

with the naked

eye.

No. So I was tick man for a while. When I was trying to film women deserve art straight in the woods and got surrounded by ticks because of the scent of I don't know my energy. And to the naked eye, you couldn't see my body. Okay.

Sorry. I wanna go back to my question really quickly that before we got into the TICS portion of this story. But -- Tic portion. -- the comments in your TikTok, which is t p feminist.

You can't reach for you. Good for you. You caught your son. Ahead. Also,

todd, you're you're lying. Every comment has been replied to. And don't say aren't for you. I saw your assistant printing out the comments so you can read them on a big sheet of paper

because Well, Charles is supposed to do the printouts in costumes so people don't know.

He did. But we knew it was And we knew it was he said I'm mister Sanders. And we're like, you're colonel

sanders? Oh, you said colonel seed printing out the comments on my take time. That makes more sense to me.

I I also don't know if you saw this, but he was printing in color. I don't know if you had budgeted for that.

Yeah. He kept saying, this is my new secret recipe.

Well, no. I don't have that budget. So thank you, Sam. You're welcome. So at least he did front and back in 8 different pages to a page and tried to make it every single thing small. Yeah.

Now real quick, before we got off

the colonel Sanders

thing, the ultimate question for me is, which is in the comments. Everybody's asking it. It's the only comment that keeps repeating itself is Is this Todd padre feminist? And there happens to be a toilet paper theme? Or is this the toilet paper feminist? What is the TikTok exactly? Late.

Right. It is Todd podrick feminist. Let's make it clear.

Okay. I don't

good. There were some comments from different accounts that I'm not aware of who controls the accounts. Explaining it, I thought very clearly and unangrily. Right. And those common centers, I appreciate my fans making comments like that. Everyone that's commenting this is the greatest content.

BP feminist. I've opened yeah. BP feminist. Which is not Which It's an oil spill. Yeah. Let's just say there were some dirty ducks in that tiktok. Well,

they're trying to change their their look their reputation by going fem hard feminist, but we didn't forget about the oil.

Right. Well Well, how to respect a woman on the rig? Very On the oil rig was interesting. Yeah. And so

yeah. That's typically

a male dominated space.

And it's offshore oil rigs. Space. It is space too. It is. Well, you know, but it's it it this is I'm so glad that you're seeing the TikToks and glad the world is responding to them. Yes. Because I am fed up with these kids here who and this parents and whatever. The the play's all theirs. Do whatever you want. I got my TikTok now, baby. So I'll show up to rehearsals, and I'll direct them, but the the 2 times Have you

relinquished control? Have you given have you given your the the students' roles beyond what the parents

showed up. The fuck they want.

I don't care about that. You can Todd is a little upset because this week, a bunch of the parents, found out that most of the roles were going to him, so they audited the class. The parents came in and said, no. Peter Pan should be picked by Bobby. First time adults had ever supervised your class. It actually should have happened years ago. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Okay.

So you calm down.

Well, no. It's just it was stressful already because people said, well, they're gonna come in and audit you. And so then I'm looking my files and call and wesley snipes up and I'm like, hey, we're fucked again, dude.

We're fucked. Yeah. We do we do each other's taxes. You do a

handshake kill. You go say, this is how we think they should be done.

Yeah. We do, you know

snipes did yours right. And then he got arrested. I I

am sorry, Wesley. I am sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're saying that like you've said it to him before, Is this the first time you've apologized? Yes. Of course. I

can't I won't return his calls. I I put the guy in jail. It's Blake. It's Blake. It's Blake. That's a blessing. And by the way, he rude me. They based all the vampires off of my body type and I didn't get a credit. Of your property type? Yes. The vampires in play look just

like I actually did. We saw

blade together and you all looked at me. I will say. I also

you guys know, I bought the Blu ray. I brought the Blu ray of the trilogy and watched all the special features. You

love the trilogy.

I do. He's talking

about blade all the time.

Blade 3 is incredible. And I bought the trilogy and watched all the special features, and there actually is an interview with the character designer where he sort of shows his his art space where he did all the concept drawings. Artsburg. And he said, this is the first Fucked

it out. It's all Todd. Dog, you

went in for modeling for the for the whole vampire. He showed he actually showed the the sort of gray sort of gray model that he he sculpted of the original Yeah. And you were standing on a table with your head in the ceiling, trying to disguise your identity, but you were getting paid for a modeling job, and you were, like, it's not I heard it in the documentary

over and over again.

What?

It's not made. You're telling this whole story like it's something I did. Listen to the voice in the ceiling.

Okay, Todd.

Why even It's not if you can't say you can't say both. It's not Todd, and it's not me because it's not me after it's not Todd. It's

an addition that

it's Todd. And, Todd, this isn't a thing you need to be ashamed of. If I If a character Not done. It's not me. If a character in the blade trilogy was based on me, Howard Levis, I would be singing it from the room. Killed right away.

Killed right away. Well, what was the big problem?

Would eat

you? Do you think a vampire would eat you? I

would certainly hope so. Well, you work

well, they do. You work.

They do. They do. Yeah.

Remember that part of you?

Yeah. I do. I thought we were beyond Wallace and Grommet did use you for some of the drawings. Right? Specifically the mouth and the teeth and the

smile.

Yeah. Yeah. I actually did sit in. I sat in on for a for a session. I sat with the artist for a long time, And he actually he said he's never had to he's never had to take so few artistic liberties with with his a model. Well,

obviously, those waltz and Grommets are totally claymation,

but they

are also photorealistic to how you look. Right. You have big

clay teeth with no space in between. Now if people don't They have been fired. The clay has been fired and hard, but they are big Well, it's their ceramic implants.

You

had your teeth electrically pulled and replaced with clay teeth -- I did. -- during the pottery wild ages? I did. Pottery wild. They just I had my my teeth

that's what I wanna say. The

nineties. The nineties when everybody was going, oh, that's for pottery.

Yeah. Oh, did you guys listen to pottery not zippers? Just a little bit. Just a little bit of it. Now if people don't know what we look like, I think a wonderful opportunity would be to go and watch Netflix's sexy beast They used 1 of us for each of the beasts.

That's right. So what? We're not gonna tell you what to do. Yeah. I will give you a

little

hint for me check out the poster.

Okay. Little hit. And that's all. Right.

Yep. That's right.

Yeah. I I actually they based me, or they based a lot of the characters on the masked singer on what I look like in real life.

Right? Really? Yeah. A lot of the a massacre, but you look like depending on your

mood that day. Depending.

Yeah. But fellas, we

are

note to edit -- Toilet paper. -- cut that out. A toilet paper. A

toilet paper in your throat. No.

There's no toilet paper in my throat that Oh,

fuck.

Okay. Yeah. You pulled out toilet paper. Like, you were at magician that out of your throat is interesting. Is this your toilet paper? No. What? That's a dirty card that came out of your throat. What was going on? Okay. Well Have you been hanging out with the masked magician again? Never have never will. But we folks, we

are I mean, I'm proud of we are in the throes of planning this alumni event. Mhmm. Invitations have now been resent out because we haven't gotten a lot of RSVPs. Well,

we had We did confirm. We had to we sort of triple check cross referenced. Everybody's addresses, email addresses, we've done our due diligence, which maybe we

hadn't done before. We

weren't sure if we had everybody's actual real home address,

so we

also did a paperless post. Yep. Yes. And we sent to everybody's email address and home address. And

we did audit we audited our sort of not don't get scared, Todd. We audited the -- Wasn't -- the the previous mailing that we did, just to double check

oh, we've

audited the post office. And we did not have any -- Oh, yeah. -- any go to the wrong address or anything. So seems like maybe we just needed to remind people, which we've done. But, yeah, the alumni event is really coming together. We're really excited.

Yeah. Anyone worried about how much this is costing us, we can tell you that we are full fully funded budgets alright for the lunesta alumni. That's

right. Sam? Thank you, Sam. Sam really came through with AAA huge chunk of change. Yes. Yes. We we we will not have to worry about money. For anything on this event. Oh, the school has struck up some

very advantageous pharma deals.

Yes. That's that's amazing. Yeah. Makes me wonder why we didn't in the first place. Well

you know I didn't have the in. The the public wasn't desperate enough for a while, but now that COVID's hit and they put me in charge big mistake. The the money is flowing like wine from these guys. My buddies over at Cigna Kai are hooking up. Obviously, the Pfizer guys are never stops. And and

who did and who did you say? Lunesse. Lunessehta,

of course.

Lunessehta, of course, a I believe a depression medication -- Oh, that's probably the -- or either Which which which which which cholesterol? I I don't know. It could be Both?

Yeah.

We got -- It's cholesterol. -- oh, Crievous is coming through. Oh, Crievous. The man? Oh, Crievous. Yes. Can you call out? Yeah. His pharma his pill. Him him

him

and his pill is springing.

Oh, good.

And Zoe is

carries around 1 big pill that everybody gets a little suck on. It's sort of like a jawbreaker. And you take a suck of the Ocreek Yeah. A lot of us, you know, you don't

know that. But in the fast talk at the end of the Ocrevis commercial. Like, this this pill comes with a man, it's like a big jawbreaker. You can see your house near the gate. Do not do not suck on Ocrevis for more than 30 seconds. See

be whatever everyone else has that's sucking on the Ocrievous. Yes. We're

not sure how to get him to leave, but to get him to come, you say, oh, Crievous. Oh,

crievous is out of his absolute fucking rise.

Yeah. So a previous will be there. A signal will be there.

I mean, it's And we've been told

ocrevis has been in a good mood lately. So I'm hoping that stays

with you on my life. The last time

i sucked on the O' Crivas, O' Crivas was having a good

day.

I Only but don't warn you folks. Well, yeah. You know He only goes out of his mind when you take the Ocrievous out of his hand. It's

his

pill, and you get a lick of it. Yeah. It's not your pill to take. Yeah. Do not grab the O' Creevans. Yes.

They do shane. Don't take the O' Creevass I think I you know what? We should I think we should play maybe we should play the fast talk at regular speed just because I think a lot of it gets locked. Should we play the I'd love to hear it at fast speed. I'm I don't think we need to slow it down. We've been doing pretty well fast speed, but I will. But I think we're But you can edit it. You could edit it to go fast.

Oh, just put that in the notes there. Edit more thing.

You'll find are not gonna be helpful. Edit

more things. You definitely will know what that means. I think I can read

all

my notes. I already do it 2 minutes. You got eggs coming in.

That wait. Hold on. That is true. During every episode of the teacher's lounge, I I waiting to In the 2 minute egg break. In 2 minute egg break.

Yes. Yeah. Listen, why? Well, when you say enter but maybe Todd, that's a liberty you'll take. I'm I'm so curious to see what an episode is like that isn't all sterilized by how

right. That's how we Yes. Everything gets cut. Everything gets cut

with the We do so many interesting things on the show.

We do are. I think

howard thinks is a little too out there. Well, he

cut 1 of your segments just last week that you brought in. Right?

Yep. Burn toast in my feast. Burn

toast in my feast, which was a clear segment. So, basically, Sam, I love this segment. You know, when you go and you get a pedic here. And they get rid of those little redo toast in

my

feed right now. No. I just wanna tell everybody what they're missing when you edit it. So Sam brought in Bert toasted my feet. We loved it. He talked to us before, we're like,

this is a great idea. In the room, we love it. We love love it. And

and just to explain to the listeners. So burnt toast to my feet, which we all loved. We all checked off on, which later got cut in the edit. You know those foam things you put they put in between your feet after you get a pedicure to sort of, like, the the nails dry or whatever. They look like a e with too many bars. You know what I mean? It was kinda like brass knuckles. Yeah. It's kinda like brass knuckles. Soft brass knuckles. Anything else does it look like?

An e with too many bars.

Okay. Good. Todd brought instead of that I mean, sorry. Sam brought, instead of that, burnt toast and put it in between his toes -- Toast. -- in between speed. But we said that your toes, but he said, no. It's my

feet. No. No. My feet are, like, if you it's like when you zoom in on a mirror and you can just keep zooming in forever. Each toe is a foot. And then if you zoom in on each Right. I'm now resuming a little further. All the way down to a microbial left

right. Yes. So Sam's Sam's to Sam's toes have toes.

Yes. This is what

you're saying. Yes. Have some sort of feet. Excuse me. Sam's toes are feet. Sam's toes are feet. Sam's Sam's don't have to go. Feet, have toes. Right. Which in turn have those feet, which in turn have toes.

So we yes. And of course, this is another thing we've done. We've done the the zoom in with a -- Microscope. -- microscope on my toes -- Yes. -- we've sort of done the from space down into the toes. Yes. I think that was in 1 of the episodes. And and we Yeah. The

space down to toes, and which was expensive. We go

forth your toes where it goes up high and goes, wait. Down in. Yeah.

How which episode was that in?

I was Google

earth's toes.

I cut it out, guys. What? Yeah. Come on.

That's honestly the interesting thing about It's not. It's

irrelevant. And that's the thing with this What about Todd segment, the Big Wiggle. What about

well, I heard the episode. I waited the whole episode for the Big Wiggle. And I did I noticed it didn't come when I did it. And I said, I might be saving

it from Dan. Because it after grade series? In

an

audio format, how in the world? Is a segment where we where you just take a second to wiggle and call it exercise.

Really good segment. The audience just knows. It is part of the texture of the show, and that's what you're missing because you're not an artist. You're a lot of things -- Wow. -- but you're not an

artist. I think this is really unfortunate. We have 1 artist. Here.

That's right. Unfortunate, but also a learning thing. When you hear our show, you probably go, like, why isn't it why is it so bland? Yeah. Why don't they ever go anywhere?

Right. Why is

it so sterilized? Imagine if our show was as interesting as when we

recorded. Yeah. What about the swim break? Yeah. You just never get to hear the swim break. And

that's a daily 1.

That's a daily 1 that's long, and we come back That's why we're all so exhausted due to the end. It's we're in the sun for 3 hours -- Yeah. We -- which you would know if Howard left

the swim break in the episode. Well By the way We eat 6 loaves of bread, and then we swim for an hour. Well, hey, the audience will get all that in this episode, I hope. Yes. So there Yes. So yeah. We're not gonna cut a single thing out of

this. If I know if I know Todd, I think today's gonna be the full 7 hours.

Oh, yeah. We're doing the full 6 years. Finally. Finally. Thank you.

Because I can't find the cut button on the keyboard. So, like, nothing's getting cut out because I don't know what button cuts

that and that is why I do the work

but I do that. Let's stay in.

It stays. Howard, I don't wanna seem ungrateful. I really do appreciate all the work you do. I

think you just maybe have different tastes. And and and I'm just gonna take issue with you saying that I'm not an artist, Todd. Because as you all know, I have been working very closely with Greg Crown, Chris Crown, the the local -- Sarah Gillickiller who

-- -- loves you. --

is coming out with an album and is gonna be performing at the alumni event. And I wanna get out ahead of this because I got a really -- Yeah. -- I got a really frustrating email the other day. It came from an anonymous source, and they said, if you continue to support this serial killer and you allow him to record an album and you and you fund it, I will release information that proves without a shadow of a doubt that you Howard Levis in quotation marks are not who you say you are and not a member of the Levi's family. Wow. And and you They're saying you're lying about all of your back story up until this point? Yes. Somebody has the gall to tell me if I They

didn't say anything about me, did they?

No. It was just me And they said if I don't continue if I don't stop helping this serial killer express himself through art, that they're gonna expose me with information, that doesn't exist. And we'll show everybody that does exist. Source is a man in town. His name is anonymous source. Here these So we know who it is. He's in

every newspaper. Yeah. Everybody. Now, Howard, I can cut this or I'll turn the volume down because I don't know how to cut it. Before we move on, I need to know the truth because I'll defend you to the death. You are who you say you are. Right?

A hundred percent. You're not Don't

be too loud because I can't turn it down that much when I'm editing.

Turn me down on this. You're not. I didn't turn your way up. I don't think. Okay. Alright. So you got me turned down? Yeah. All of them. Perfect. So you're not instead of Levi's lead jeans, Are you? Same family? Hey. Am I still playing now? Hey, Todd, turn me down.

Oh, no.

Of course, I'm not lee jeans. Now listen, my parents, they always told me that her last name was Levi's, and they were wearing jeans. So I just have always assumed that I am related to the actual company. But now that someone has mentioned it, I'm a little bit worried because I'll tell you this, guys. Leave eyes, as someone has mentioned before, Leave I was the guy's

first name. Strouse was

the last name.

Okay. Tell me down. Turn me down. Yeah. Tell me down. All the way there. Okay. So you're telling that makes a lot more sense because During the whole show, you have not been wealthy. And you drive a terrible car and you're looking a really small house.

Turn turn me all the way.

Yeah. Turn him down. Turn me.

It doesn't go any more down.

Because Howard, when I look at you, all the way down?

Well, You

look exactly like that little dungarees baby from the Lee commercials. Turn me down. Okay. Hang on.

Make sure I'm all the way down top.

Okay. And volume. I should give my headphones on It's

crazy that you mentioned that, Sam, because I've always seen that little league Lee Duncan's figure and thought, if I didn't know any better, this guy might be my brother. Thinking that but now I'm thinking, like, maybe I'm the model for the little Lee Dungaree because I'm a member of the

family. It is really good that we're all

the way turned down or this because this is groundbreaking material. Bombshell stuff. But don't worry. Don't worry. This guy doesn't have any dirt on me. Alright. Let

me go

he doesn't

actually it's a it's a big trick.

Doesn't anonymous know about the incident?

You are involved in what do you mean? Which incident? The accident -- Oh.

-- that turned into an incident.

Oh. At the museum with the mummy.

Everything was burnt to a crisp and all they found was a pair of dungarees. Behind, you've got

naked and burned a museum

down. Your whole body was

stop saying this a little bit because this is irrelevant to the issue at the

end. It

doesn't matter because Warren?

You get naked and burn the museums?

That's not got the issue

right now. It's got all that had all of grandmother's most famous painting. The artist grandmother. Oh my god.

Alright. For some stories I'm not scared at all, though. Have you guys heard about this artist grandmother?

She is Grandmother's wrist. Grandmother's stuff is awesome.

Well, of course grandmother.

We don't know anything about this, but the museum burnt down. A few years ago -- Track. -- back 10 years ago. They brought

the mummy through town, and they put it in the museum of --

also. -- grandmother's art. Also, tell you this. The guy who did it was definitely wearing pants.

Well, whoever did it is well, we all know that I think Sean wins in his serving lifetime -- Exactly.

-- in jail. In this lifetime. Yeah. Correct. The cellmate was kept sentence to lifetime. Right? And you guys should hear the songs that Craig's written -- Yes. -- about about Sean. I mean, it's it's, like, really that's the thing I'm most excited. I think once people hear Chris, he's going by Chris, obviously. Once they hear his album, I think all of these bad feelings that people are harboring towards this guy who who is a serial killer -- Yeah. -- I think they'll evaporate and people will realize this guy is bigger. Than his his d his deeds, his his poor deeds, his bad deeds, his dirty deeds. Yes. His dirty deeds is the words that she in dirt cheap, I think. He's bigger than that. He has shown you any of the lyrics. Is that right? No. No. No. No. No. He says the lyrics. He doesn't want he doesn't want notes. He feels like he feels like he wants these sort of just full, truthful expression, doesn't want anybody to sort of taint the waters.

But you've seen the music out. On the album dirty deeds. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a really cool

riff. A lot of people are assuming online and kind of suggesting that the album is almost like a, what's the guy's name? Weird

out? I wish. Fred Dursch.

No. The 1 0, the zodiac killer. It's almost that all the lyrics are actually clues to where the bodies are buried and just like that. It's

interesting. And in I listen. If anybody gets a look at the track list, it will sort of seem like that because all of the tracks besides for dirty deeds. Well, that seems like it's a good beginning admission. Right. Earlier. It's the first track. And then And then the next 1 is behind the Church the church. You've got behind the church. You've got meat locker grocery store. Canad gasoline? You've got canad gasoline. You've got big 50 gallon drum with acid, isn't it?

50

galindrome with Essenet. You've got water tower downtown. Switching to matches was 1

of those songs?

He was switching to matches. 1

was oh, I forgot where that 1 won.

Uh-huh.

You've been followed by I ate 1? I ate what? Wait. You've heard it?

We

went to a little listening party. Cheese.

Yeah. Kanye. Yeah. You had a listening party in Wyoming.

Yeah. And, you know

and some Craig Crown song for there. Wow. Well, jeez, I am

getting hurt. Craig

was there in chains.

Yeah. Yeah. They brought Craig as if he was on Con Air. Well, they brought Craig conair, which by the way is a gorgeous way to fly. I don't know if you guys have flying cut air. Oh

my god. Do you fly in the cabin or do you fly underneath?

I'll do underneath and then I'll grab a gun and I'll make my way. Yeah. That makes sense.

That makes sense.

Look. Right. Well, Howard. I am glad you have a passion and I'm glad you found a passion in somebody else's art and creativity. Well, I mean, I'm

i'm changing. You know, I'm I'm I feel good about it. I feel like I can I can sorta not ride as coattails, but I can at least experience the sort of highs and lows? And

then we're totally riding as coattails.

Well, Well, and I find -- Yeah.

-- I find that sometimes you spend your whole life trying to look at yourself and see what's good there. And then you go, I got nothing to add to the world. So let me find someone else who is to and I've I've done it for years since I've been with my wife for a while. I'm shining light.

I'm just shining the light. My light might be a little dim folks, but it's

something and and Chris is reflective. That's a beautiful thing to do is to bring someone else's art into the world. Exactly.

And so what that he's a serial killer? Mhmm. It it it so what? Yeah. Just so what? That's it. That's the end of the sentence.

Well, I think we're all doing big things this

year,

and I think it's all really gonna time out with the alumni function. Don't you think? I mean, there's just so much energy. Can't you feel it? Can't

you feel it? Oh,

yeah. The speaking of energy, I need to go use the restroom. Yes. Now I don't know how to pause and stop and start and stuff. So maybe here we'll just do a 1 of the segments that Howard has cut. Sure. We should think of that. Yeah. So you're right you're

about to hear 1 of our

favorite

segments that We'll just put we'll just put 1 of them back in. I still have all the audio, so somebody just tell me I don't know how to

do that, Howard.

I don't know how to do this. How do you put something into something else. I'll just send you the file. You can just put it in there.

In the mail? Carrier pigeon Carrier

pigeon. Digital. So what we

just send the files now?

This it doesn't make any sense. You you're crazy, Howard, but we'll figure out a way to get it on the mic and I'll be right back. Alright,

folks. Thanks so much for sticking it out there through the break. You know, a lot of folks have been hitting us up online. They've been coming into our office hours and asking, so what exactly should we be expecting from this alumni event? Because it sort of seems like a few different things. It seems like a homecoming. It seems like a sort of class reunion. It seems like maybe an awards banquet. And

do you do you know? Much out

into the public. Right. We've been keeping it. You know? You because you don't wanna put all your cards out there in the public because you never know how people are gonna take You gotta listen to the feedback if you let people know too early. People will get on Yelp. They'll start yelping reviews of the event before it happens or whatever. So we we decided that pre yelp is a huge problem. Yeah. Huge problem. It is.

I've been pre yelping my dinners.

And you found that that has changed the service you get when you go in there.

Yeah, they really If you come in on a pre yelp, they'll spit in your food. They'll, you know, and then then you gotta come in

and free yelp. It is

tough because if you do your address into Yelp, there is it it says Todd Padres' home. Yeah. And most of your neighbors are complaining about the stink.

Yeah. I'm getting help by my neighbors. It's the service. The service.

You you yeah. You've refused to fill up your own water glass.

Yeah.

Which I I don't know why my neighbors are so mad at me or maybe I left that review. I can't remember.

Yeah. You raked yourself over the coals for having no water during your meal.

I hold my feet to the fire? Just I hold everyone to the same standards. That's why I'm allowed to be rude to people because I'm rude to myself. That's true. Feminist

standards. You don't follow those.

No. Yeah. Some

people

would say be nicer to

yourself so you can be nice to others, but you're the opposite. I'm so mean to myself, I'm allowed to be mean to others. I'll cut that out. That's stumble. I'll cut that out.

You cut that. Yeah. Because you never stumble. You'll get all the stumble cuts. Yeah. You're out of here. Do a tumble pass.

Oh 0, yeah. Double pass. But no folks. Which was also my specialty when I was a quarterback. In a play. In a play. Oh, in a play. Yes. Ira. But everybody came to my football play, another touchdown for top.

Another test stand for time. And

it was about me scoring a game where I scored 400 touchdowns because a kid who was dying asked me to. Moves her up. You wanna hear all of the woman

in

the place.

Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.

But,

no, to get back on subject here, then.

Most graphic sex scenes on stage and anyone's ever done.

Yes. Where you came prematurely, which you did not have to write into it, but I appreciated really.

Well, that was improv, that was a brother.

The gruber ripped off your sex

scene. Where he's having sex with nobody? Yeah. Well, I switched places, so half of that is true. But, yeah, it was very close. But, yes, get

back to you. Just just get back on topic here. The the truth the truth of it is, everybody's right. This event isn't 1 thing. This is not your run of the mill alumni day where people just come back and shake hands and say, hello, It's a whole day couple days. It's gonna span a few days. Yeah. It's a chili cook off. With events exactly like the chili cook off? We'll have the art competition. We will have a A

big Chili pot cleanup event, which will be fun.

The Chile cleanup,

be right after Chile cut off.

The cooking just. And and the auction and the janitors will get involved with the the the bowl the the bowl the the bowl those Well,

the the

super bowl. Yeah. The super bowl with the gym.

Will not be cleaning. They will be

they won't extract this year. Yes. And

yelling and criticizing everybody else's cleaning, which is a turning on its head of what the population of our school

right. It's it's the it's the chili cook off. It's the cleaning competition, which the janitor scream at them. If they're not doing it right, if they're not using natural products, or if they are, they get screamed at, use more comment, more Lysol, less of this method stuff from Target. But, yeah, there's, of course, a a an alumni basketball game. Right. Which is the thing we wanna get into. Yes. We're really excited because it's looking like the lineups. The lineups are pretty incredible. We got Roberta. We got Travis coming back. We got Alberti. We got Francaine. We have Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Which I I know anybody who went was going to school at Hamilton the eighties. No is a thing or 2 about Jah Ash. It's

model slash basketball

player. And Jah Osh. Jah Ashah, he he it came from AAA sort of tick and his vocal vocalization of his form. Making

fun

of his stutter. It's not a stutter. It's just this sort of a a situation, a sort of physiological issue in throat that made it so that anytime he did a small sound stutter. It's a kind of physiological issue in his throat. Yeah. So so we'll make fun of it. It was it it was an scary thing. It was everybody in the crowd. Yeah. We're not making fun of it. It was cute. It was sweet and cute. Yeah. And everybody

loved it. He

was star basketball player and he's gonna be back to be starting point guard and the alumni game has. This is

huge for you. You're coaching the alumni team. They

gave you a call. I am head coach. Of the alumni team. So we got Roberto, we got Travis, we got Travis, we got Alberty, we got Francine, and we got Jah Osh. And it is gonna be that's our starting 5. That are confirmed.

Star studded, to be honest.

Star studded. And francine is in class of 42.

She can really play me. Unbelievable.

They had to wear skirts when they were playing back then. It was a different era. Oh,

you should see my TikTok about it. Women don't have to wear skirts all the time

-- Yes. Yes. -- in the in

in the forest.

Yeah. And that when you had just gotten rid of all the ticks so you were beet red. Yeah. Yeah. And and skinny.

Well, the new TikToks are so interesting because it's it's about what you're saying but then it's also about what has just happened to you. There's there's 2 messages. Right?

There's a whole thing going on. And, of course, I got stitched and promoted by Big Red bubblegum on that 1. And people start calling me big red and stuff like that. So and I'm just anything to get awareness to the fact that women shouldn't have to wear skirts in the forest.

At a certain point, somebody was going into a job interview and chewed you up.

Yes. You have it in that place. No. You don't wanna smell like cinnamon in

this So you do smell like that. Todd, I just think that your messages are so important. Thank you.

Yes. Do you know what I mean? Thank you.

Because women shouldn't like you said, have to wear skirts in the form. I

agree. And thank you. I'm bringing a lot of attention to it. Yes. But I wanna become my because they gave you How did it feel that the coach of the the high school team gave you that opportunity to coach the alumni team you know, that's a very nice thing. It's very kind. It shows a lot of trust in you, and I'm underline trust to to

see people in other places. I'm gonna be honest. You guys know we played the Blazers this week, and I sold the playbook to went out to bikinis and you gave someone Gave the playbook to Robison. I rolled out a bikinis. We had a blast of a night. We all went home responsibly

in Uber.

So, Sonny, the the when you get to see, the sun come up over bikinis. It is beautiful. You're drunk out of your mind. You're in a dirt parking lot. Martinez. Oh, I wanna weenie. It's the kitties, my kitties. Moo. I got a weenie. So there that's song, which is 1 of our favorite jingles, is so good because it's it elicits a island theme. Well, it's an absolute rip off of Kokomo by the beach. Kiss it? Oh, gosh. Absolutely. Yes. And and it's and it's catering to its clientele, miss.

Who do we got a weenie's Bakini's buffet? Bakini's is Bakini I forgot to tell you guys that You're generic. Bakini's is carrying the alarm guys, man. And and and they're and correct me if I'm wrong. You got all bikinis weenies for this. The bikinis ween, we guys, I'm

kinda joking. I'm so excited The bikinis weenies will be at the alumni event. Bikinis, which is known for its bikini clad dancers, will be catering big they're bringing the buffet. They are they're bringing the buffet. The

original the original the original the old buffet. The bikini buffet looks like The old menu. Bottom. It's 1 big It's 1 big bikini bottom. With a black cable that is, you know, flesh colored.

Yes. It is. Swear up. It

looks

like the trunk of a woman with a bikini on, and it is 1 of the most and you get to serve yourself lunch room chicken fingers, bikinis weenies,

fries,

oysters. Squared slices of pizza. Squared slices of pizza. Is it a piece of oysters? Square oysters. Little cups of chocolate ice cream with a wood tongue depressor. Our favorite. Our favorite. Yes. I love that story. But but to explain, this is a huge gift. Yes. Yes. So I sold the playbook of the trash plays last week to Robison. We played the Blazers. He in exchange also told me a couple of the plays he was gonna run. Oh my god. I told Wallcut. Walcott, that he's about to run the the half court offense, and it's gonna be zone. No. Zone off. No. Yeah. Zone off. So it's a really tough thing, but they play it sometimes.

And

i was right. So Walcott was like, you're a genius. You know what? Why don't you coach the Wow. Wow. But you don't

think it's like setup because most of the players are from, like, the forties or whatever.

Well, it's it's an interesting alumni game because usually, It's usually 1 alumni team versus the other, and this is an old alumni team versus I current. Right? Which they're people think we're gonna get blown away. But we've got You haven't put You go that we got Roberto. We got Travis. We got Travis. We got friends scene. We got Alberti, and we got jaw aye.

And

that's better, but you don't you don't foresee you sort of putting any sort of stay behind this game. Right? You're not planning on, like, bedding or anything like that. I put my pink slip on it as an as a as a teacher.

You are putting --

bill. -- your teacher's pink slip. In weird history.

What about your

whole

career? I put my pinksters very similar. You're putting up your classroom. No. My whole career Wow. This is

my pink slip, which they give you just like in fast, the furious, so they do a car. So you're letting you're letting your fate as a teacher be decided by I I put it all up? Your but your your greatest teacher is being decided by a woman who played basketball in the forties, plays -- Basketball. -- plays, still plays

to Oh, yeah. Have you been to her pickup games?

2

italian, 2 Italian and Alberta. Who are who And I don't think this in a weird way, but are very Italian.

Mhmm. They It's not weird at all. What you can't describe people anymore?

What I'm saying is don't That feels like bad news. When you think of Italy, you don't think a ton of basketball. Is what I'm saying? Because they moved right back to Italy after or high speed. It feels like a bad move here, Bill. I'm gonna tell you now. They're very wealthy. They live in the countryside. It's very call me by your name. But it's even yeah. It's because the game is exhibition.

This game is exhibition. Right? I mean Yeah.

But when he slips on it, it was until Bill put

put some stakes on

it. But Josh, And Travis, Travis. You guys know Travis. Yes. I know Travis. This is Travis Pestrano. Yeah.

Skateboarder 90 skateboarder.

Yeah.

He'll he'll throw himself into the goal if he has to. Oh, he's a motocross guy. Yes. He drives the car for the big big long puddle all the time. He

makes it all the way across. We know that. Okay. Well, peace so pastrana. Mister Sir, if he is Half is good at basketball. He is at Redo Cross.

I

don't know. I've never seen him play. Mhmm. But I'm excited to see him on the court if there's any hardcore stuff, any sort hurt. You'll be good at that.

Yeah.

I I'm not worried at all. Because

usually you put your pink slip up and someone else puts their pink slip

up. Yeah. What did Walt Walk not put up? Made. Walcott is matching me, not with his pink slip, but his you know what?

So not matching me.

No. No. He's not

putting that on the line.

Yes.

He is. He's no surprise possession.

Oh my god. How much longer do you need to think of

it?

You know what it is.

We all know what Walcott Cherwich is a little too armed.

Oh, Walcott. Put

his farm. The whole farm, the whole farm. Wow. Wow. So

it's

this man's real farm against the story of your

career.

It's What what knows which could be more valuable? Can you imagine what my life is gonna be if I have the farm? Bill. If friend scene comes through.

With

josh and friends sing together, and I get the farm. Please just

tell me you won't do something as stupid as Walcott's doing and betting the whole farm. Hang

on. Do it if you Oh, yeah. No. I will not. Go put the farm up. You never put I will never double down. And and and also put the farm my farm that I've just won up. Bill,

i hate to be selfish here. I would be so excited if you won and got the farm. But also if you lose and you're not a teacher anymore, I'm heartbroken. I'm

losing. I mean, that feels like the kind of thing you consult with your friends. I was in the heat the moment.

Todd's trying to cry, you guys. Those are my work. Well,

todd's trying to make us all look at him. He keeps

pinching between his son. He's morphing

him. I've lose

our fuck stopped to pitching me. You did that. You sell my God. That was 1 of the help reviews, dude, the waiter keeps pitching Well,

pursuing the food makes me cry.

Just eat some of your

homemade There

was a lot of dispute Just eat if you wanna cry, just eat some of your homemade I

mean, Bill

i'm scared, ma'am. I'm scared, ma'am.

No. I'll tell you this. I know I know this this show and sort of our relationship has caused me a lot of personal stress. Uh-huh. But the idea that you would you would lose it all It's bad. By putting up by putting up your whole career on

it was

a backroom bikini's deal that we made. We've all made them. We've We've all made we've all We both of you in the bikini's background. In the

backroom

of bikinis. Oh, I can't tell you how much I've lost back there. I gotta be honest. Billion. It's a million.

It's in the beginning for all of us. Yeah.

The

reason that I am where I am in my life is because I lost everything in the background of the cuties multiple times.

Yes. I, actually, someone who manages my money works in the back room of being these Yes.

Someone, you're killing it.

He's back there. His back there. And she has access to my account and 2 ways, she both plays with it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm gonna say all her affiliation.

And it's her it's all her.

She's a financial dominatrix.

That's exactly Oh, I

know. That's interesting. I think I did that for a minute. Really? I think at 1 point, that was part of my thing. That was. That is so cool. Let's not let's move on from there.

And I'll cut that part out easily. Easily. Don't

bring up the volume on it.

Don't worry. I wouldn't know how to turn up the

volume. But Don't replace it with another bit that we do often. You know what I mean? Like, don't Oh, yeah. Don't put in, like, we we ate Howard. Exactly.

Well, we're getting so sidetracked I mean, I mean to tell the whole town, which is, for sure, listening, what else is happening at alumni?

I want to put a little a little button on this real quick. Uh-huh. Bill, the stakes just got very, very high.

But

i don't want you to revert. Yeah. You know? You've

been doing

good. There's a certain alumni from this school. Let's just say of the Jewish cheetah persuasion. I don't want you picking up that phone at 3AM for bikinis and calling

up cheetahmen. Listen. I've actually I

don't want you

taking drugs? I saw Cheetahmen at McKinney's just the other night. He's got a great job. He's in town. He's doing well. Yeah. Cheetahmen's here. Did he mention us or me? Cheetahmen let's just say Cheethamen remembers us if he's happy to be best. I knew he would. We were his favorite. Cheethamen's the best. I don't think he can. He does get a little handsy in the club. But he's the best. He's the best. He's like, gee man. Take it easy

up there. You can't touch him. By the way, if you need If you want a friend who defends a bad guy, you've gotta be friends with us. Where

it's like, well, he's

never done anything to me. I love the guy. Right? He's

the bad. Sure he gets hands in me.

Oh, yeah. He's really, really rude to waiters, but he's always so cool to us.

He's a bunch of small things is not indicative of as a whole. Well, I'll say I mean, I don't think I ever had a single face to face interaction with Cheetahmen, so I'll say it. I don't think he's that great of a guy. Oh. Antisemite. Antisemite. No. It has nothing to

do. Oh, I

never met the Jew, I guess, I hate them. I just

actually feel like it's bringing a familiar now

we know. Yes. Howard The first time Howard

says something mean about anyone. It's the Jew in the House.

I thought you went to anti Semitism detox.

Did you went to anti seminary.

Right? Yeah. You went to opposite church. Right? I tried. I googled it for days. You slunked out of opposite church? Well, you knew too much about the Bible. I went. I went, because I I googled it, because you guys said I had to do it or we wouldn't be friends anymore. So I googled it and I found 1. I went to 1 day of opposite church,

and

i'll be which is also anti semitism detox. Sorry or was I wrong. But the thing is, I couldn't read a word of the album. I couldn't rework it. Right. I'm sitting there. I'm looking at it. I gotta Well, it's

right to left idiot,

the whole

it's just English right to

left. Well, Todd, and let's be fair. You only know this because you've been put through this program as well.

I have. Yes. I was a Jewish anti semite, and they put me through it. And so I know the whole thing. I

know the whole thing. Oh, you know the story of Sezh? Yep. I know Sejag. Hey. You know Sejag.

They hung him from the

grab

yes. Sessions got -- He's hung from the rack. Because it's the ultimate remember. Because he won the championship

fighters. Yeah. Absolutely. At the age of backwards 33?

Yeah.

Of

course. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Gosh. Well, this is

this is big. This is big. Listen, it's too great.

I've I've sent out an email --

mhmm. --

to Roberto, to Albert, to Travis, to Josh. And they said they're willing to get up practice a little bit. I was gonna say, you gotta practice. At least, if these guys haven't played basketball in a long time, Francine, maybe, what, 80 years. Fran Sene has told me that her retirement community will let her out on Tuesdays So she's coming to

breakfast.

Wow. We're getting

this team in shape. Did you get the backboard back on the court the concrete court?

No. No. No. We're playing backboard Because you when I go to the fans and switch, yes. Only switches, no back switches, no backboard stuff.

That's Pretty exhausting to retrieve a miss, though.

Yeah. They do bound And we got the back we got the balls pumped up to 400

meters. And you guys are on the court right at the top of the hill.

I was gonna say, have they put have they put Bankman around the corner. Well, we're on the same hill that Jack and Jill went up.

Oh, my god. Let me know if you might still water.

Are they gonna come? Jack and

joe was supposed they haven't

jack responded, but Jill did not to the RS computer. Are they still together? Well, their brother's sister. Oh. Really?

I don't know. I wanna say that nasty. Have you seen them together?

They're so handsy. Come on, guys. They do a couples routine at at bikinis.

And it's less of a routine more of a play. Yeah. Which

is such a Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's erotic.

I'd say Joe's taking a little advantage ever since Jack bumped his crown also.

That's true. You really kinda gotta go, Joe, what are you doing?

Yes. But you can But I'll tell you 1 thing, when Lilomus Muffet gets unstayed, she had bikinis,

i pull the tuffet right up

the sun. Absolutely. Well, it's

also when she comes up, you gotta here come the spiders.

Which

is why the last time I was the case, that was what ran me out. Despite Right. You left early because you're afraid of brown recluses.

Can I say something? And this might be I know we've already had this argument put it to bed. I know we're having the event at the school. But McKinney's --

is alcohol

already doing -- well, but They're doing the case They're doing the waiter service. They're doing the bookkeeping. They're doing the RSVPs.

I know everybody out there is listening. Why not?

Why not we are using bikinis for so much.

I know everybody out there listening is saying is saying that we are getting bikinis to do so much in the alumni event because we don't wanna go anywhere else

or do

anything else. But not the case, they're really reputably run business

there's

not a cleaner business in town than McKinney. Their track recorders assist. They do events all the time. All the time. What'd be just done this let

me do something that I hate doing here, but let me play devil's advocate. There are some people in town that don't love bikinis. I know it's hard to believe. You

never do this.

I never do this. I I never do this. I never do this. There are some people in town that hate bikinis.

Mhmm.

Crazy.

Right.

They're nuts. They're stupid. Who is it? Who is it? Little kid? I no. Kids

love

it. Trust me.

Well, they eat free on Sunday. Yes.

Your kids pick up Kids up, they're picking out a penis. Kids been double

monday through Saturday, but they eat free on Sundays. Well, they come to pick up their parents, of course -- Yes.

-- they need in a mustache. Because they can't drive. So, like, they

yes. Stack on top of each other. There's kids out there pinging out, stacked on top of each other in coats,

all the time. What state is love the papa shot? They saw the papa shot there. Kids love bikinis.

They're they're

doing ski ball. But I I do wanna just make sure that we're not alienating some of the freaks in town that don't like bikinis for

us. Well, that's in their whole resection. Bikitties.

Bikitties. Bakini's section. Yes. You don't have to watch hey, get a sitter or anything. Yeah.

Just put your kids in Bakini's. Yeah. But,

no, we can't do the whole advantage Bakini. 1, there's not enough space. It's not a brag a brag right place. We do already have the infrastructure here at the school. We're we're obviously using the cafeteria, the auditorium, the gymnasium, Well, the cafeteria

is pissed, by the way, because they don't want bikinis workers using their area. We're having a whole union fights. Right.

There is a bit of a union scuffle going on between the teacher's lunch union and and bikini's union. Because bikini's is unionized in itself. It's

it's a wonderfully run business with the union. They're well protected. They're insured. They're getting a higher than minimum wage.

That's why I support Bikinis because they're unionized.

That's why I'm there a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why we all

go. Support your

local health care. We would only go, like, every other night before

the

unionites. Yeah. And then And now it's every night.

Yeah. At least. So Are you

guys can I ask since we're all here, it's just the guys in the line?

Shoot. Yeah. Go ahead.

Are you guys sleeping at bikini's like me? Well,

yeah. But let's just say I don't do much sleep in there.

Yeah. I mean, I appreciate the bunk beds they have in bikinis, and I will use them from time to time, but I haven't been sleeping there recently.

Good. I'll

be honest with you. I have been sleeping there, and it's the best sleep that I've had actually in months. Really? Nobody bothers you? No. No. No. No. Nobody comes into the the the closet that I'm living in.

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

It's nice. That's

good. I I well, I started taking Zoomba at Bikini's. So so if I'm if the next morning is my Zumba morning. I'll stay the night at Bikinis. Yeah.

That's cool. Just for

zumba by Zumbas?

Yeah. I'll take them by Zumbas. But

the Zumba, but Bazonga Zumba. Bazonga. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

and I wanna get you

sidetracked. I I do wanna say, the alumni event is gonna be awesome. And for those of you not our RSVP, it is turning into cowardice. Mhmm. Have the boldness to come see your because lest we forget, this is a time to reconnect.

Yes. Make a plan. And to prove

people right, prove people wrong -- Yeah.

-- show

people your viral on TikTok and and doing some of the women I used to go to school with are used to teach. Will be very excited to see that I am a chain man.

Yes.

We are trying to get laid at at alumni night. That's been very clear.

Something I'm really excited about for alumni night is to do all the I told you, so's that I've been planning. To the bad students who didn't become anything, I told you so. Mhmm. To the student who have --

let's not publicize that. -- let's

not

publicize that, Sam, because that feels like that's the thing that's gonna make these guys not wanna come. I'm

also gonna tell the people who have done amazing that I told sorry.

Are you curious which 1 you're gonna be,

people out there? Right. Right. But guys, make a plan. Okay? We've obviously preemptive the make a plan anti DUI commercials -- Yes. -- in the town -- Uh-huh. -- to make a plan come to the

yeah. We're trying to overtake that hashtag to make it about how to get to the alumni show. Make a plan, folks. Make a plan. Talk to your family. And that's also we're trying to take over the big quake.

Yes. The big quake.

Earthquake. Make sure you have a come to the alumni show preparedness. Kit, you know, your family has a plan. Yeah.

You need the RSVP. You need it is BYOP.

Yeah. Yes. You

also need 5 to 6 days of clean water.

Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Please come to

the

i was gonna call it Bikinis, the alumni.

Yes. I'm sorry.

Well, this isn't all that's going on at the alumni. Obviously, we have the big basketball game. We have the

big chill stuff. Is this huge it's not all these big sort of destination events. You know? There's also just the simple library sit where you can go -- Mhmm. -- to the library, the table those are all set up. And and the people who were in the library when you were in school are probably gonna be there again.

Because some of the alumni

look

going back and looking at them, we're nerds. Yes. Some of them were ugly nerds. They were library

all the time. Right. We just wanna make sure that there's some space for all of those -- Birds. -- birds out there. That's open to birds. If you weren't there, you're you're this will be a different

friendly.

This makes that friendly hard. Tell you. If I'm into it, then I'm I'm I'm thinking this isn't a place for me. I'm thinking this is gonna be

where all the cool guys come

to show off There's gonna be tons of cool people here but there's also gonna be a lot.

Yeah. And some people are saying, I'm a geek. Yes? Is this for me

right. Right. You're a loser or a nerd or a geek? Yeah.

Let's not forget, beep.

And honestly, honestly, if you're if you're, like, weak and you are feeling like you're being left out, there's gonna be a space for you

as well. Yes. Say you all more of just a classic chalk.

Right. There's

space for you here

at the other end. Yeah. The jocks will have to come to the game, but the birds Threeeps. And it peeks. I'd go to the library. Yeah.

We'll

be for everybody. Yeah. We're we're raking up old trauma at this If you're a if you're a third, we're sending you to the library. Hey. Don't don't come here. Oh, I've been working out. I'm different now. No.

You are who you were when you were 17. Just like us, you are who you were. But I am excited for this. We should also say, If you can't find accommodations somewhere to stay --

oh, good. It's just good, Todd. I forgot we forgot to talk about this. Yes. We

have converted all of the science labs into hotel rooms. Right. So You've got the shower basically there already.

Yeah. And I wash

the ice machine is is we're using the dry ice. So just throw that in your drink. And

and I understand if you're more of a bath person, there's also aquariums that I used to fish in them that you can -- Yes. -- you can also Yes. Unfortunately, the

we know that the the ocean biology class and the sushi class got kinda mixed up and now the aquariums are empty.

Yeah. But, you know, 1

class was devastated. You. 1 class was devastated. The other was stuffed. The

other guys was licking their chops. But, yes, every

there was a soy shortage there for a couple days. There was a soy shortage. That's right. Soy

shortage. Every science class, of course, would be too big to be 1 hotel room itself. So each room is 8 hotel rooms -- Mhmm. -- lap table each -- Yes.

Kinda stacked on top. You get you you you're not gonna have a ton of space, but it's like it's kinda like how you put a dog in a in a in a crate that's a little bit It's just like It's

just

a To the alumni event and sleep like a dog

in the morning. Yes. Like here On-site, it's gonna be fun. I'm gonna

be sleeping 1 because here's what's exciting to me. Excuse me. Don't

cut that out. You'll have to cut that out. Yeah.

Is What's exciting to me, I need more stink off that burp, by the way. Here we get the stink up.

You have to do that, Todd. That's the thing

you want. I don't know

how. What what's the complaining the way

here.

If we didn't make my burps think enough for our sound. I'm sorry. What I was trying to say is It will be, like, prom all over again where you -- Mhmm. -- try to get into a room with a bunch of cool people -- Right. -- and maybe you'll hook up. And

not It's not like the prom that everybody knows knows us or is related to us. It's

not gonna the 1 we blew

up. Yes. No. There's not there will be no bombs at this event. As far as That's a guarantee. That's a guarantee. There will be no bombs. We put that out there.

No,

ma'am.

It's BY0B, but do not by on bombs. No. So and it also won't It won't be like my high school prom where everyone in the room hooked up and asked me to get ice and then I guess the got confused and I don't know what but I couldn't get back in the Yeah.

I was it's weird. Everybody at my prom bought brought a bomb. Everyone had a bomb. It was really fucked up.

Yes. Bob

pride was a Bob pride. It was a it was like yeah. It was like a theme that it was the theme.

Oh, that's

oh, no wonder. Yeah. When that makes sense then. Yeah. But I I am Bombs bombs over no. Bombs in Paris. Was the theme. Yes. Why? Because it's love in Paris. It was bombs in Paris. You

know, prom is where I had my first limo ride. Which, of course -- Oh, okay. -- really impacted me. I crashed it. I crashed it. I was on the driver, but I I was in the back, and I reached through partition -- Mhmm. -- and grabbed the wheel because I was freaking out because I was alone. They picked me up first.

Oh. I thought I had too much

space to the limo and I crashed in on

it. Oh, because this was before you could be on your cell phone and kill time or whatever. You just had to be alone with yourself. I see. We're too much

space. Yeah. But

hey, that led to my future career.

Yes. And hey, you guys

have heard about my prom. So and I also I'll say this. Well, you should share. Yeah. I we know. You know? I'll turn you down.

I'll turn you down.

Now look, you're gonna turn me down? Oh, yeah. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So just turn me down. Just remind us by your point. You guys remember. You guys

remember about my prom, right, about how I asked every girl in the whole school, and they all systematically rejected me. System

they they got an order.

They got an order. They got an alphabetical order and they planned it. The you know how you do a big grand gesture to ask people. Is

it a flash front window?

It was it was

and obviously, I'm doing Todd's wiggle right now. That's why you're not hearing anything. It's I'm just wiggling.

Yeah. So so basically, I asked every single person, they all waited a full week and then I showed up to school and there was sort of like, you know how when it's your birthday, people stand and make a tunnel and you walk through and they all hit you. Well, basically, they did this, but what they hit me with was that they didn't wanna go to prom with me. My god.

I thought

maybe at the end of the tunnel would be someone that wanted to

right. I thought it was like Let's it's like, oh, let's let's just let's let's beat him down and make him think that nothing bad's gonna happen. And then when he gets to the end of the tunnel, the person he really wants to go to the prom with, they're gonna be there, they're gonna say, yes, it's gonna be beautiful. I got to the end of the tunnel, and it, of course, was the edge of the pool, the deep end, and they dumped me they dumped me in there. You can swim I can't swim, and they held me underwater until I died. I legally drowned. A part

of the back story, he said.

They

they I legally drowned. They got me. They did CPR. And I I woke up to being mouth to mouth resuscitated -- Yeah. -- by Thinking

that was a good

question. Yeah. My my friend I'm a little older than you. Todd

padre had my eyes closed. I thought, wow, this might piece up the person who is gonna be my knight in shining armor. Wow. Wake up wake

up Great brush, you put on a little makeup.

Yes. Well, we did the classic chop suey CPR, chop suey, CPR.

We've gotta learn that system of a down life card camp. Does work. It doesn't work. And that that that camp was pretty political. Okay.

Yeah. Well, but I'll get politics,

i would say. Yeah. So hard swim in those cargo pants.

Those big white cargo pants. Absolutely. Not to mention, it's very difficult to get through the water with a very long braided goatee.

But anyway, this to make everybody wear. Yeah. But moving on, we Imagine this. You're all learning CPR. You're looking around and everybody says cargo pants and a long breath. Good day.

Hey. When you go into swim camp, you go into swim camp. Every camp has a suite, I guess.

Everybody's got this summer memory Chap Suui.

Yes. We all went to swimsuit of it

down.

And they they hopefully, they will be back. They will be Oh, they are a

lumps phone. Yes. System of a note. Oh, let me let me turn this for all back up. Yeah.

Because and and as we as we said, we're not we're not this isn't gonna be sort of reminiscent of any of those prom stories really. It's gonna be a whole new experience but it will feel like a prom. A a big event that we hope creates lasting memories for everyone whether you've got 30 years left of living or just a few? Yeah. We're we're selling it at Was that a brancine dick? Is that appreciate it. Okay? I'm coming home with that farm. I just wanna make sure that she knows that we want we want those these final few years of her life too. A. Just. No. No. No. I want I feel like she's capable, but, you know Well, the good

the good thing, you know, for Francine and actually for everybody who's coming back, you already have graduated high school, which is the guarantee But some of our folks who are coming back are gonna be a little bit older. Mhmm. So we got a nice We got a nice grab bag of swag. Oh, yes. Ish by every pharmaceutical in the industry. So that'll be nice. Francine can take a little sip of Ocrievous if she wants to. Oh,

of course. Or Crievous. Oh

crievous. We'll be there.

Do not give up Crievous water.

Yeah. But the the bags will be nice. It'll have sort of a little swag, you know, you'll get a funny little pen. No. You'll get a couple of key chains.

Love that. You'll

get 50 to 60 pills in each bag. Wow. Thanks for that. Yes.

You know, unlabeled.

You can just try Sort of like the jelly belly jelly bean.

I love that. I love that. You don't know what you're getting and some of them taste like vomit. Right? That's

right. Absolutely. Absolutely. Some of them taste by taste like fun.

Well, III gotta say, I'm excited. I don't know who

i'm in a

room with. Last week, when should I have a girlfriend that's over to worry about it. So I'm excited to maybe hook up at this thing and -- Yeah. -- you know We're all

stay in the night. Well, I'll be there for anybody listening -- Yes. -- you know, overplaying, guys.

But I don't plan on being able to drive home after this thing. I'm gonna have a couple of cans. So you

can do that. You were sober. Yeah. If we got I know I said it was B00I0B, but it's not. We do have we do have bikini's bartenders there. That was a little joke. We were just kidding. Yeah.

You know how what we're saying is true and what we're saying is false, but we'll let you know sometimes.

Once it happens, then it's true.

I'm just so excited to show off, my fame, you know, my great friends here.

Absolutely. And

i'm excited to show off the work that I've been doing with my my buddy, Chris, Craig. And also, I'm excited to to to to just prove to this anonymous source, fella. That that well everything he has on me, you don't need to

put a Yes. I know Howard so well. I have never lied a day in my life not even when I go to sleep, I don't lie. And Howard is telling the truth -- Yes. -- he is the heir to the Levi's family. I would stake my beautiful reputation That's

awesome. And part part of everybody coming back, I think, is the excitement of us showing how we've done,

which is pretty good. Right? Oh, yeah. I,

obviously, with the new maceutical gig have gotten 2 big pinky rings. Yeah.

I've

started to slick my hair back and dress with between what looks like a doc during a lawyer. I dress like a lawyer, but I wear a lab coat and I pass out pants and pills.

And it is crazy. That does not that the only thing about this that screams doctor and not playboy is the laptop.

Absolutely. When you're making the kind of money I'm making, I mean

never mind. And you're you're and you're driving around in the late nineties Mercedes.

Right? Oh, yeah. You know it's a late nineties Mercedes with the top chopped off. It is not a convertible. I lost the top on accident. Right. I

tried to take it

off when I was on the freeway going 85. And

i I love that you have those those button up colored shirts where the collar is a different bright white color than the rest of the

shirt. Yeah. I look like I am made out of something that is sharp. You know? It doesn't feel it doesn't look like it's sharp material.

Yeah. It is dark.

You are at your best when you're rich. I I've known you rich. I've known you poor. I've known you in the middle.

Say, you're at least scary when

you're rich. Well, it helps me hide all my imperfections because I don't have to get close to anybody. I can just throw money at school. It's a station out loud.

We we have really shook our hand dusted off our hands, you know, that that saying, and bikinis is handling

this hurt. Everything that we're focused on ourselves.

And

our beauty. Yes.

Oh my god. We've been moisturizing. I am using the most crazy astringent on my face -- Mhmm. -- to get it smooth as hell for alumni night.

It looks a a typical Well, you you say it's

strange it, but it it's in your garage. Right? It's right next to the paint thinner. Yes. Yes. It

is it's In a little red it's, like, in a red plastic container about a foot a foot. Those things that you had when you were in high school, a Stridex pad, you know, the little pads. It's like that, but it's not that and it's a gas can.

Yes. Yes.

That's great. That's great.

Yeah. Yeah. I've

been through You look

fantastic and burned.

Thank you. I've been doing a lot of charcoal. I've been doing charcoal stuff.

Yeah. I actually munch it on a big bag of a Keystone. Yeah.

Toxins. I'm getting rid of Toxins. Right. I am obsessed with getting rid of my Toxins. I don't wanna get through and do it. But did you know we have Toxins I want.

Oh, my god. Interesting.

I saw your socks when you take them off because you have those socks that pull toxins out. Right? That's why they're they're

blacked out. I am wearing my socks. Yeah. So yeah.

That's why they're filthy. Yes. That's why they're filthy. Not because you're dirty. I'm

clean. Not

because you're

going to the grocery store in just

oh, okay. Now this though, I can't even get into this. You can go to the grocery and whatever you want. They're not allowed to That is not If you need groceries, they're not allowed to kick you out after. But you went in in

just socks. Right? Yeah. I went in, like,

flee. I bet Lee goes in that way all the time and never gonna say that because he's famous. I'm famous too. Speaking

of, there are fleas all over you right

now. Oh, 0, by the way, women can pet mangy dogs too, and we can keep an eye out for my video.

Now, what was the inspiration for this video? Did you pet a mangy doc that gave you the fleas? Or are you trying to get women to pet you because you

have so many fleas that you're like a man no. None of the above. It's just it's this overly masculine world. People are saying, oh, men, pet mayn't you dogs. Yeah.

You guys gotta see this new TP feminist video. He's got fleas all over them. They're bouncing up. They are bouncing they bounce, and then they bounce right back on you. Yes. During Whoa. That fleas got some ups. Hey, fleas. What you what you doing next 3 weeks from now? Delivery. I'm flea. You're flea? I got a lot of flea time. Oh,

well,

hey No. I hate this guy. He's not that far, man. No. I hate this guy. He's not that far. That was hilarious. I'm so

tired of Utah.

I'm with Todd. I hate this woman. Whoa. Police got damn. Please get up. It's All these fleas got up. Hang on.

Let me take a look. Let me toss a basketball on this

and 10I am I did not spell him. I did not spell him. I had a musician.

Just do it.

Yeah. Please please

way. He's seltzer merch. He's still decking

him. Flee. Whoa, nice kicks, flee. Wait a second. Is that spike flee directing? Oh, little tree with a camera. Whoa. Well, please will be there, guys. The fleas will be on Todd, absolutely love my event, and you you just gotta trust us. You have It's gotta be great. Just lie back in your event. I'll make a

a plan hashtag make a plan. Yeah. I think we've undersold it, but we don't have much more time, and we we we can't keep harping on it. So we should probably get on out of here. But folks, thank you so much for listening. Yeah. Again, RSVP for the alumni event, if you have not already, don't pay attention to anything that gets printed about me on the Internet or in a newspaper magazine.

Great rule. Great rule. Good

rule. And As always,

do not.

Yeah. But until next time,

say flipping. Flippy.